What To Do When Your Ex Girlfriend Starts Dating A New Boyfriend

3,060 thoughts on “How To Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back If She Has A New Boyfriend”

Jinhwan

June 6, 2016 at 4:08 pm

My ex girlfriend broke up with me April 1st. She’s now in a relationship with her best friend of 10 yrs. Our relationship has been rocky for the years. We were constantly arguing fighting. She also felt unwanted but she never was open with me. She cheated that started my trust issues. I do love her we have had great memories. We lived together for the whole 5 years. She left in Jan to help her family out. Her mom was having surgery. They live 6 hrs away from me which is her hometown. Before she left we was trying to work on the relationship. She suppose to came back after her moms first surgery in Feb and go back for her second surgery in April, but she never did. I was frustrated causing us to argue over the phone. I need help because I begged pledged after she broke up with me. I asked her why leave instead of work on things. She said she’s hurt tried of feeling less. I never did the 30 day active NC. I did do the 14 day NC. I tried to build rapport. I have no idea if it was working because she normally text me anyway. She said she loves me misses me. She’s confused because she loves me but her best friend treats her well and wants her around and that she’s afraid to come back if nothing is changed. She told me the best friend had a crush on her since high school. I really don’t know when she officially was in a relationship with her but it had to be a couple days after. Please help I do love my ex girlfriend still. Is her best friend a rebound? Should I let them be and stop contact with her?

EGR Team Member: Amor

June 7, 2016 at 4:17 am

HI,

I think you should step up your efforts now, since she is talking to you. Be more sweet and caring because that’s what lacked in the previous relationship.
Jinhwan

June 7, 2016 at 6:05 am

Do u think her best friend is a rebound? I’ve been texting and calling since she broke up with me trying to get her to come back home to me so we can work on our relationship. She knows I don’t do long distance that’s why she left her hometown tp move in with me. I can’t pick up everything and move to her hometown because I have a child and great job right now but I told her to be a little patient with me because I have no problem moving there. She’s been hot and cold. I don’t know how to take her feelings anymore. She seemed distant indifferent this past Thursday not wanting to speak to me so I let her be told her to Enjoy her day. She texted me this on Saturday “I haven’t been trying to be Mia on u or n e thing I’m just not sure wht to do or how to react nd i know tht bothers u it would bother n e one I did however want to msg u it is Saturday night so I’m assuming u have a show so rock it out nd enjoy I hope ur night is great!”
She told me and our mutual friend that her best friend treats her well and it’s a good feeling to be appreciated. She also feels bad that her mind always drifts to me. Why I’m confused on what to do??? If she feels the best friend is a better partner, my heart is telling me to step back but afraid to lose her so I don’t know if that’s the right choice.
Jinhwan

June 7, 2016 at 2:37 pm

My ex girlfriend also texted me this early morning while she was at work…”Someone just played this song up here tht reminded me of u. . . I know ur asleep though I hope ur doin good.”

I haven’t had any type of contact with her since last Thursday is she trying to build rapport with me or just sending mixed signals.
EGR Team Member: Amor

June 9, 2016 at 11:13 am

it could be that she sees the best friend is a better option because of how he treats her but you should take this opportunity to assure her whenever she’s accomodating or like that and be more caring because that’s what’s she’s looking for

Steven Edward Angius

June 5, 2016 at 3:25 am

What do I do if she stops responding to my messages on Facebook?

EGR Team Member: Amor

June 9, 2016 at 6:22 am

You have to be interesting so she wouldn’t get bored.. That’s why it’s better if you follow the tide theory in texting
Steven Edward Angius

June 9, 2016 at 4:33 pm

Actually, I am. It’s just that sometimes, she doesn’t respond until a couple of days later. Other than that, it’s going fine.
EGR Team Member: Amor

June 10, 2016 at 4:55 am

ok, try to date others too or do you do something that she might ask about? like if it’s games have been excelling in it? Like something that she will be impressed?

Henry

June 1, 2016 at 10:44 pm

Hello! Very glad to have found this website, wish I had stumbled across it earlier. To cut to the chase, I met an amazing woman in January and we started talking and hanging out. I had seen her around my gym for almost a year beforehand but never approached her as I thought she would never be into me. But I surprised her with flowers one night after a workout and she loved it. Kinda rough at first, she didn’t like the age difference between us (she’s 30, I’m 26, but honestly that was a turn-on for me), but eventually got past it. But we worked out at the gym together and swapped stories and eventually grew pretty close. I couldn’t believe it was happening, she was the woman of my dreams. Tall, beautiful, intelligent, perceptive, and funny. She even had a big interest in science, which was another turn-on for me as I am looking at a research career in biology and astronomy. School and work kept us pretty busy until April but we would text and call each other constantly, 3-5x per week. Things were peaking in May, we went to a symphony together, went on late night walks, talked every night. She would teach me about art and special fx and I would teach her about science. I let her know how much she really meant to me. However, unbeknownst to me, there was another guy that started vying for her affection at the end of April. About two weeks ago (May 17-ish) she said that she wants to give it a shot with this other dude. She says it was free and didn’t want it to turn into an awkward triangle but she also wanted to say friends. In her words: “I truly feel we connect on a very deep level and I really want us to stay friends!” Being the lovesick fool that I am, I told her not to worry about and do what she thinks is best. We texted on and off since then but it has cooled down significantly. We only hit each other back once every 4 days or so but it’s been cordial and we never talk about the other guy or our relationship/friendship or anything like that. I can’t take it anymore. Every fibre of my being is screaming “you love this woman, fight to get her back you moron!”, but I also don’t want to drive her even more into the arms of this other dude. The advice in this column sounds solid and I’m sure I could pull it off without a hitch. Our last contact was 3 days ago, she dyed her hair and sent me a pic of it. I never responded. Should I implement the No-Contact rule now and wait the two weeks to get back to her? Or keep the friendly texts going since we are both already still friends?

EGR Team Member: Amor

June 6, 2016 at 6:04 am

Hi Henry,

sorry for the late reply.. I’m glad you decided to improve yourself instead of begging her to stay.. you’re on the right track. Just keep doing that and go out with friends so she would miss the times you went out with her

Andy

May 28, 2016 at 8:53 pm

my story sorry if it’s a bit long ,BUT i guess you need to know every detail [ painful or not ] to hopefully advise me .
I’m 52 , my recent ex is 54 .we met about 7 yrs ago when i first moved to where i am now .we met at the workplace .things were GREAT we got along AMAZINGLY. we went out had a GREAT time started seriously datting [ after we had known each other about a yr. ] .things were GREAT we spent time together, going out ,staying in watching movies etc. issues came up [ nothing major ]then because we didn’t deal with the original issues [ just kind of swept them aside ] they escalated. long story short she cheated on me -i was devastated . she never even had the decency to say anything to me .just stopped calling , stopped coming by [ tried to disappear ] i questioned everything BUT never got a real reply . time went by i was planning to leave the state to visit my sister .before i left Sherri and her new guy didn’t work out. she came to my place and apologized for her betrayal .i loosely accepted and we hung out a few times before i left .
AS i was away [ for about a year ] we spoke via phone [ she knew my sister and asked if it would be o.k. to call ] .we talked basically every night , every weekend .we became solid friends again .Christmas was coming up , and she recently lost her dad .i felt bad my friend lost her first parent .i decided to buy gifts come back to this state to surprise her ad let her know i care .
we reconciled a bit later and started dating .NOW were at the 2 year mark were having some issues [ nothing even major] example her and her girl-friends work all week so can only go out shopping on weekends .i make plans get her o.k. on the plans BUT she doesn’t follow through [ she wont call and communicate with me her friend drove she couldn’t leave etc ] i got up-set explained to her why i was up-set and just would say compromise shop from 10 am till 3 pm then you and me have plenty of time to make plans for the evening [ she didn’t like the idea ].
LATELY she’s been acting cold-ish – distant towards me i ask ” what’s wrong ?” i get ” oh nothing just work stuff” ,she not calling me nightly as we always do ,she’s not stopping by ,she’s making excuses [ which i know are lies ] . last 2 times she was her i came right out and asked ” Sherri is their someone you’re interested in , someone you’re with ” i get told ”no this is frustrating me i don’t want to ad more things to it , and what makes you think that ? ” we live close by i drive past her block at different hours [ sometimes 1 am etc. ] i told her ” i noticed you haven’t been home lately during the week , or weekends, you’re not answering my calls , returning my calls you’re acting distant to me ”.i get ”nothings going on i’m staying with friends” . before she left i said ” want to talk later about what we discussed here ? ” i got ” we’ll see i’ll see if i can call you i have lots to do at home laundry etc” .about an hour later i call say ” getting your chores done ? i’m gonna run out grab something to eat like anything ?” ”i got ” i’m just doing my chores ,i don’t want anything thanks , i need to get going” .i was at her house 5 minutes later it was locked up tight no one home..i call her , her phones off goes right to voice mail ..called her next day at work to see how things were [ i didn’t mention what i did .she said everything’s fine.she needs time to process what we talked about .k. few days later i’m driving by her place i see her car in the driveway and a guy on a motorcycle pulls up parks behind her,gets off she walks from the yard hugs him they go inside a few come out hop on the bike and leave .2 nights later she stops by here o retrieve some receipts here for items she bought herself she was returning .we talk a bit [ she’s in a hurry ] i ask again ” Sherri is their someone else ?” looking into my eyes she says ” no ” . i did tell her what i saw and said ” if theirs something you want to tell me just do it like a band-aid [ you rip it off quick less pain ] just say it . ”theirs nothing i want to say , you don’t know everything” .i went inside gave her a necklace that i had given her which she loves and said ” take this wear it , don’t wear it put it whatever BUT when you see it know who gave it to you , and why , and in 2 weeks you ring my bell and you say your with me , or not is that fair” she started crying and said ” that’s fair” we are now in No Contact for 2 weeks – i already know when the 2 week mark gets here i’m going to have to be the one to call her at work and say ” what night would be good for you to stop by ”.
I have been soo hurt by this girl recently knowing what i know , knowing i was lied to , knowing i was disrespected .i offered to pay for couples counseling , i asked her to give me one more chance .every time i’ve asked ” were in a relationship ?” i get told ” Andy were friends just have some issues i don’t want to hate you you’re in my heart ”
K i LOVE this woman , we have a deep special connection when we’re on the same page everything is AMAZING .when issues arise i want them solved a.s.a p. so we can move past them . i want her back once and for all for good , i came out here just for her, i remind her of this i get no response .i tell her i love her , i miss her . i get ” i miss the old Andy ” i say ” i miss the old Sherri BUT i believe whole heatedly we can get them back it’ll take some work from both of us ” . in 2 weeks i really feel she’ll say were done and that is ripping me apart .
what can i do to salvage this ?

EGR Team Member: Amor

June 6, 2016 at 1:59 pm

Hi Andy,

let’s say that the new guy is really a new man in her life, then that may indicate she’s looking for variety or something in that guy that she can’t see in you but from what you described, it looks like variety. You should start no contact after you meet if she breaks up with you and don’t focus on her this time. Focus on improving yourself and having a new routine. but while you’re not meeting, start to improve yourself too

Steven Edward Angius

May 28, 2016 at 3:41 am

I just rebuilt the friendship between me and her, we have been communicating since Saturday. Today, she stopped responding to my message on Facebook, doesn’t open it, nothing. She’s been on there a few times, but I’m not getting the stamp that tells me if she saw it. I’m worried that I might have screwed up and I might not get her back. I’m still friends with her, and I’m still the only guy in her Featured Photos. I never told her I still have feelings for her or that I want her back. What do I do at this point? Should I go back into NC or just give up? Please respond ASAP.

Steven Edward Angius

May 30, 2016 at 4:21 am

She got back to me today.
EGR Team Member: Amor

June 3, 2016 at 8:39 am

Hi Steven,

sorry for the late reply.. I hope you meant you’re back together.
Steven Edward Angius

June 4, 2016 at 1:56 am

Not quite yet at least. I’m still building rapport with her on Facebook. We are talking to each other on a regular basis, though.

Greg

May 27, 2016 at 4:06 pm

Hey,

English isn’t my first language so sorry if I leave some grammar mistakes. I promise I won’t try to make it a hard read lol

So the facts:
-Been together for 2 years and 9 months, the last 7 months have been really rough because her deeds at the beginning of our relationship caused stress and all sorts of things due to the fact how she didn’t appreciate me at the beginning. But on the other hand she was perfect at the end, it was the early phases that caused our break up on my side.
-Broke up 1 month and 30 days ago.
-She chased me for a month but I didn’t wanna get back with her because I knew I haven’t made any changes so we’d end up in the same situation and I always told her I need time to sort things out. But then she met a guy 3 weeks ago and now they’re dating, he really fills the gaps I left.
-Unexperienced me tried to beg, argue and then keep calm in 3 days (different approach each day during that 3 days last week). Although on the first day I asked her if she still loves me and she said no in a way I know she lied but maybe I’m micro-managing her communication rn.
-She thinks it’s the best thing we broke up.
-We had a little argument a week ago when I kept coming back to her friends while being drunk but I think she’s cool about that already, but…

Last night I let my emotions gain control over my actions. I went to her place, I asked her on Facebook if she’s home and then I sent her a powerpoint presentation (it’s an old trick of mine, she loved those everytime) and at the end it said “look out of your window” but I lead it up nicely and all during the presentation and I was down in the parking lot with a bunch of teacandles forming a heart on the ground because I remember she said once she’d like to get a gesture like that.

She plainly told me that she already told me it’s over and all. I tried to play it cool but a bit of me thought that maybe if I can make her fight with me (sidenote: we never had a fight when we blamed each other or something, even when we broke up we just cried on each others shoulders and when she asked if it’s over for good I honestly told her I don’t know) I could break an emotional barrier and maybe that would cause some good kind of friction between us.

The downside is I couldn’t get home after that. I live 40 kilometers away from her (roughly 25 miles) and I just couldn’t make it home after a point. I called her and all if she’d let me in just for the night (prior to that I tried to call my friends and hit on remote acquintances on Facebook to meet up somewhere but everybody was asleep already) and as we talked I lost common sense and told that new guy on Facebook that she had phonesex with me just 5 days before she met him for the first time. I let my emotions gain control over my actions…

So I spent the night at her staircase because I didn’t wanna stay out there in the cold or get my stuff stolen if I fall asleep accidentally but she thought that I’m there waiting for her so I think I scared her or something. Then I begged if she’d just let me in because I literally had nausia in that staircase with all the noises and my heart was racing and stuff.

We haven’t talked since then and she blocked me on Facebook (not on the phone or on Skype) but I know her new dude got really pissed and I’m pretty sure she hates me right now. And btw their relationship status is still single.

After this I decided to stick to the plan finally and execute the plan with the 14 days no contact, getting to speaking terms, becoming her friend and make her new guy freak the sh*t out because of me.

Is there anything I can do or any other advice I could use?

P.S. Before dating her it took me 8 months of hard work to go out on a date with her so persistence isn’t unfamiliar to me.

Thanks for your help in advance.

Greg

May 28, 2016 at 1:05 pm

I apologized at the end of the day on my other facebook account which I don’t use and deactivated after I saw she read the message but didn’t respond. maybe that’ll get her to unblock me on the account I use.
EGR Team Member: Amor

June 6, 2016 at 9:44 am

Hi Greg,

you should do at least 30 days, because as of now, she just thinks you’re there to ruin her current relationship.
Greg

June 10, 2016 at 10:59 am

Hey Amor,

I contacted her 7 minutes ago on Facebook, just sent her a cute puppy fighting one of her fav Star Wars characters and now I’m blocked on my previous Facebook account too.

What do I do now? Not sure if I’m blocked on Skype, don’t want to check it so I won’t seem desperate or anything.
EGR Team Member: Amor

June 12, 2016 at 1:51 pm

either she’s not ready to talk, or she sees it as a threat to her current relationship.. I think you have to let it pass, and let her unblock you first.
Greg

June 23, 2016 at 12:15 pm

She wanted to add my best friend on facebook today who’s been deleted by her after we broke up because she didn’t want me to secretly check out her posts via his account. I’m still blocked on Facebook though. I feel kind of angry or I don’t know, I don’t feel like I’ve moved on but more like in a stage of hate/anger of the process. I realized that she wasn’t a person of constant joy and kindness in my life (that’s maybe a little too much to expect from anyone but she ruined so many moments with her immaturity and not just special moments but in everyday life too) but I still can’t be neutral towards her. I don’t want to hate her and I don’t wanna love her either anymore, I just wanna forget her existence.

R2D2

May 26, 2016 at 1:13 pm

The question may have already been asked but there are 2000 comments so sorry if this is the case.

What should we do when the girlfriend doesn’t want the friendly talk ? If she prefers to cut all contact to focus on a new relationship she’s in ? And if moving on on my side isn’t an option ?

EGR Team Member: Amor

June 6, 2016 at 9:10 am

Hi R2d2,

you don’t have to totally move on, but that’s what she needs to see for her to trust talking to you again, because if she sees you’re in it to get her, she will protect her current relationship.

Jax

May 26, 2016 at 3:54 am

Hi there,

I asked for advice with my ex GF awhile ago. She broke up with me, got with another guy for a little while even while she was telling me and her family that it’ll never work out with him. Well she left for school 2000 miles away about a month ago. She is super busy with school and lately, her and I have been texting back and forth and calling and talking lots. Just about school, life, how similar we are, joking around, etc. This past weekend she was all alone and we talked and she called me and told me how much it means to her that I actually talk to her and it’s so nice that she actually has somebody who supports her. I feel like she’s seeing how much I do support her and care about her while maybe her new boyfriend isn’t around as much now.

I told her the other day that I do still like her. She just replied with “You’re bold”, but then she still continues to text me and tell me all about school and she comes to me for questions about school and all her stresses out there. I know that it’s good if she comes to me instead of her new boyfriend. One thing is that she hasn’t mentioned her boyfriend in the last few weeks I’ve been talking to her. I mentioned coming out to see her and she said it might not work. Said she is just too busy, doesn’t know what we’d do, and then questioned what her roommate might think. I don’t think I can do No Contact with this girl. I think I just need to hope that she realizes what she wants while she’s out there. I’ve got time since she won’t be coming home for at least another 3 months.

So, I will continue building attraction and connection through texting and calling. Hoping to skype sometime soon with her. Is there any tips that you can recommend? I have read through lots of the articles and have been trying to show her my good qualities and how I’m better than her new boyfriend (not directly, just through other things and stories I talk about).

Thanks

EGR Team Member: Amor

June 6, 2016 at 3:19 am

HI Jax,

you have to start dating others.. and once you get to meet ups, you have to have an activity ready, like coffee. SO, she wouldn’t think you have nothing to meet up for.

Rafael

May 25, 2016 at 9:50 am

It has been almost three months since me and my girlfriend broke up and it has been really really hard for me because she was my first girlfriend. I technically only asked for a brief time off because I saw how toxic the relationship has been getting and the main problem was that we couldn’t even fix shit anymore. Whats is worse is that we broke up on our 10th monthsary and it sucks so hard that now she is hanging out with a guy. I did almost all of the things that you shouldn’t do after a break up but I did them in a nice way like I made a painting, a song , even that so called clean slate letter. The fact is its really painful for me because she has been painting everything I have done for her as an act of me being obssessed over her. I still love her I do but the fact is I dunno what else to do because she is now moving on with this guy who is my friend and knows what happened. please help I would really appreciate anything….. I really love this girl but with all that is happening I am in a really dark place. I already did some kind of no contact but the problem is when i did it she apparently found this guy. Its really painful for me to see her with this guy and I dunno how far and long have they been hanging out with each other but the fact remains still that I am hurt because the reasons she said to me when we broke up were fucking bullshit now that she is hanging out with this guy.
I just want some help if should I just let her go or do I even try to get her back because I have been trying so hard up till now but all it got me was anxiety and depression.

EGR Team Member: Amor

June 5, 2016 at 11:35 am

Hi Rafael,

how did you do your first no contact and how long was it?
Rafael

June 11, 2016 at 2:05 am

I only did it for like 14 days it was not the good kind of no contact because I was over ridden with fear that she might find a guy already. Now I am doing no contact where in the last time we saw each other and talked in some kind of way was May 13. Still she has blocked me from all forms of contact and whats more i have been getting tips that she is already liking another guy. Now I just feel so bland that I dont know when I should end my No Contact. I also have this fear of rejection because every time I tried to reach out to her she only says that she feels pressured and doesnt want to talk. In short the first no contact was really bad although I changed my hair , wardrobe and other stuff I still was the desperate clingy guy. Now I am on my 29th day of no contact and still no happenings. I don’t know if I should even contact her again and let her be. I plan to do 2 months of no contact just to really give out that kind of space for her. I also stopped posting on social media because apparently some of her friends misinterpret what I post there. FYI she has turned of her chat on facebook and blocked my cell number thats why I also dont know how I would reconnect with her. Please help me I really love this person , I felt that we were just imature about things especially on me.
EGR Team Member: Amor

June 12, 2016 at 4:38 pm

have you tried to meet new people? It doesn’t have to be dates, but new people of same interest? For example if there’s a one day workshop of something you like or an event about it.. or doing something that has progress, like a short course? those are actually what helps a lot to gain more independence because you’re growing and learning alone
Rafael

June 13, 2016 at 2:09 pm

I actually do but you see I still have that lingering depression and anxiety now that I lost her because most of the things I want to do, she also does too and meeting new people only reminds me of her. I feel stupid because that’s like a very stupid shit to think because I am not helping myself. I am sorry if its too much. It just makes me sad and empty that we dont even talk anymore and whats more I saw some posts of hers that are I know aimed at me for some reason
Rafael

June 13, 2016 at 2:17 pm

I just need some help in any advice give me and I will give my best to follow it. I just dont know what to do anymore ….
EGR Team Member: Amor

June 14, 2016 at 11:09 am

well, that’s normal to feel like that..Don’t avoid it.. acknowledge it and then continue on what you were doing and then try to see what’s good in it. Don’t linger on that feeling.. Acknowledge that it’s there because you’re human! 🙂 We all feel that way, and when we’re heartbroken, especially the ones who are trying to move on, they still feel that way while they’re doing new things.

You know the path to moving on and getting an ex back is actually the same.. because when the ex sees you’re not the same anymore, they stop and think but of course they still doubt, until they see that you’re truly changed.. and sometimes it comes to a point that you don’t want to get back anymore and then they want to.. but what I’m saying is, it has to start with you focusing on doing it slowly to heal.. you’re going to heal.. Just don’t rush it.. If you want to get into therapy that’s ok.. do it.
Rafael

June 14, 2016 at 2:26 pm

Thank you for being responsive its really helping me alot. So I should really focus on myself and becoming better before I even think of reconnecting to her? Well I am trying my best to improve myself and hopefully move on and become a better person.
I just hope she will see but then again thats me thinking about her , I should start thinking about myself first. Thank you for the support you have been very helpful especially in this very hard time. Please continue supporting me its really helping alot. So should i continue doing no contact until i see that I have changed then? Stop focusing on getting her back and just keep becoming a better person ?
EGR Team Member: Amor

June 14, 2016 at 5:12 pm

You’re welcome.. Yep, you first, before her during no contact..
Rafael

June 15, 2016 at 1:30 am

Can I ask how long should i do the no contact ? I just want to have an idea how long and how much work I have to do especially since she is starting really like another guy already. Can you give me what kind of nocontact should I do or should I continue doing it until I feel better ?
EGR Team Member: Amor

June 15, 2016 at 1:56 pm

if you rush it, you would like you’re chasing her because she has new guy.. You have to aim for being the alpha make.. and that means, come from a point of view that she already is with him but when she sees you, she’ll think you have already moved and you look better than before, and better than the new guy and feel better than ever and that you’re just being friendly.. I think you should do 30 more days before trying to talk to her again, because you’re just recently starting to heal..
Rafael

June 15, 2016 at 2:37 pm

Well the possible chance of seeing her again would be next semester of our college this coming august so i guess that is ample time to develop myself and move on from that perspective. May I ask how shoud I initiate contact with her ? Cause I am considering changing my phone number because the current one I have is blocked would that be sensible or would I look desperate and would actually give off a creep vibe again…. or should it be better to do it in a personal manner when I chance upon her
EGR Team Member: Amor

June 15, 2016 at 4:03 pm

I think you can try it slowly once you see her again
Rafael

June 23, 2016 at 10:35 pm

Hey it has been a while since our last talk… I suspecting that based on her twitter posts that I see she is moving overseas.. and I honestly don’t know what to think about it because there is a possibility that she might not comeback anymore.. Should I contact and say goodbye to her before she does or should I just let her go…. and wish her well by myself.. I have the urge to open up t her and wish her safe travels and since the future is uncertain , so uncertain that we might never see each other again. So should I or should I not …? the hard thing about this is that I also don’t know why if she really is going away
Rafael

June 23, 2016 at 10:41 pm

Though if I try to contact her it would be moving from a place of desperation and not that of actual good intention of closing up things with her. I just feel like I am gonna regret it if she goes away and I did not even see her one last time….

Steven Edward Angius

May 23, 2016 at 6:50 pm

How often should I talk to her in order to make her boyfriend jealous without sounding needy?

Steven Edward Angius

May 25, 2016 at 10:11 pm

Do I continue to build rapport until there’s a rift between them and then from there, build attraction?

Deepak Verma

May 23, 2016 at 9:30 am

Hey Chris,

This was near to perfect for me. I am into a similar situation like you discussed above.

My Ex has moved on and is with her brother’s- wife’s brother, i.e. brother in law. It’s been an year now. I started interacting again with her on her Birthday again, and she has agreed to talk to me but only on Skype as only that is personal to her, her new Boyfriend has access to everything except her Skype as that is only for Office purpose (I can only talk to her in that time period), She is very loyal and won’t leave him from herself, also Guy is working hard too to get her, but Again., they too have fights that I got to know, I am currently trying to get into that friendship Zone again.

My Question is: Am I going in the right direction? Also, Is there any changes from the above situation., Can you Guide.?

Thanks 🙂

Deepak Verma

EGR Team Member: Amor

June 5, 2016 at 8:30 am

Hi Deepak,

just keep in mind that you have to keep being interesting too so that you won’t get stuck in the friendzone.

Deel

May 23, 2016 at 8:46 am

Hi!

Me and my ex gf broke up recently. Well, we didn’t say “we are both done officially” where we think we are still in a relationship. She has changed a lot and said she didn’t have any feelings towards me anymore. She said she need some space and time to think. So i gave her some time and we didn’t communicate with each other for 1 week. But i found out she is dating a guy and post their picture on FB. After that she blocked me from whatsapp, phone and FB. i am in my 14days NC. You suggested
1. NC – 21-30days
2. Re -establish Friendship
3. Build Attraction in Text Messages
4. Set up a ‘hang out’

How can i do steps 2-4 where she completely blocked me?

EGR Team Member: Amor

June 5, 2016 at 8:07 am

Hi Deel,

sorry for the late reply. Are you still blocked.. THe purpose of texts is to build enough rapport to get to calls and the calls to get to dates.

Michael

May 23, 2016 at 2:29 am

Me and my ex have had an on and off relationship for almost 7 months. The reason it was a
On and off is because I had an issue that kept telling me to end it with her that a few days ago I have resolved. Now the on and off thing had not ended until 3 days ago. Which is when I was going to ask her out again because I still love her. Now she is with another man and I can’t handle it. I know that I can try but I don’t know if she will get back together with me. I need some advice

EGR Team Member: Amor

June 5, 2016 at 7:38 am

Hi Michael,

does she now that you’ve already resolved the issue?

RocketRaccon

May 22, 2016 at 4:37 am

Hey, I wish I had found this site some months ago. I had a 2.5 year very non-standard relationship with a girl: half time it was a long distance relationship, half time we were sharing the same apartment, both finishing grad schools and moving from one country to another frequently [freaking out about the future (especially me)]. She broke up with me about 1 year ago (when we were in a period of long distance) with the motivation that (although I am nice guy blah blha) she does not feel the sparks anymore …… and from there the interesting things happened.
I admittedly failed to apply any non contact rule so we kept texting as normal friends. After a month, we found ourselves in the same city and we immediately reconnect; we started spending out time together day and night, went to some trip together etc. In all of this she never wanted to discuss the possibility of being a couple again; she said that, while she liked very much be my friend (with benefits) she still didn’t feel the spark. On my side I knew exactly that I wanted to have her back, so I thought, ok this situation is giving me some room of action plus hey, with respect of having nobody, it was a sweet deal.
The situation went on for almost one year, with highs and lows and implicit messages from her that I didn’t really understood. The more I was trying to push for a formal relationship, the more she was holding back … but if I was making myself unavailable she was immediately interested in me (a big negative pout in this is thatI started to have problems with my job which made me a bit overstressed and out of focus). Anyway, we were spending a lot of time together, but of course, she was also having other friends .. like a guy she started to go playing squash with once a week (by not being her boyfriend there was not much I could to to prevent this). The unfortunately I had to live the city and our interactions became more and more weird; while she kept saying I am a great guy and she wanted to be friend with me, she was seeing out special relationship more and more asymmetric. Two months later I find myself passing by the city again so we arranged a meeting; she was visible embarrassed and, after some talking she admitted that she has planned a one week holiday with the squash guy; I think that is a lightening would have struck me at that point I would have not noticed. While she told me that they were not (yet) together, she wanted to be ‘fair’ and tell me that this was a serious possibility
With a mix of pride, sadness and stupidity my immediate reaction is “ok, thanks, maybe it’s better if we take some period of silence between us to re-assess our friendship”.
Then 21 days later where I don’t contact her at all (quite and interesting number given your website), she writes me a mail notifying that the trip went “as expected” but she would like to be my normal friend if I can stand the situation. I know from common friends that she seems really happy and she claims to have found the spark.
I understand it’s only a 2 weeks relationship but I clearly don’t see how this can be a rebound; in our special friends time together she was apparently actually looking around for alternatives while I made the mistake of being sort of ok with the situation (plus being distracted by other things).
Now in 2 weeks I would move again in the city and it would be almost impossible to not meet her since we work in the same building. I so want her back, but if I objectively read all the signs I see that my chances are worse than zero.
Do you see something between the lines, that I don’t?
Also, would it be really so stupid/pathetic from my side if I accept her offer of being friends? [goes without saying that I would not be able to hear any detail of their relationhship]

EGR Team Member: Amor

June 5, 2016 at 4:04 am

Hi RocketRacoon,

you need the distance from her to have a kind of reset.. THere’s no spark because she’s already comfortable with and you’re not experiencing new things together. Improve yourself and be a little distant for now until you’ve had more confidence and then start to be more friendly around again with her but don’t be too forward. Look your best always and be positive when you interact with each other. She’ll compare you with her current once the honeymoon period wanes off.

John

May 20, 2016 at 1:57 pm

Hi. Background: My now ex-girlfriend and I are both 30 and we were dating for six months and had a lease for an apartment ready to go. Then, my girlfriend and I broke up 37 days ago (her breakup) and she was on match within 48 hours of our relationship and already has a new b/f within four weeks. I did break no contact twice (messed up) so I am only in day 13. After I told her we were in no contact, she has not reached out to me either. We left on decent terms. I did beg when she moved her stuff out two days after proclaiming she is “the one I want to come down my aisle” and two weeks later wrote a heartfelt card about all the small things about us. Then on May 8 I did declare no contact but knew she had already moved on even though I have not. When a woman tells you about three months in that she declares to her friends after our first date that she thought I was “the one,” its hard to get over this situation. My ex and I had a tale of two relationships. We had a great thing going until her grandma died in February. The last two months she became depressed, angry, vulnerable, and lashed her frustrations out affecting me personally. I went home upset one night and asked for a few hours of space just because I was upset so she decided to not respect those wishes and decided to break it off with me. What should I do?

EGR Team Member: Amor

June 3, 2016 at 9:07 am

Hi John,

sorry for the late reply.. YOu should restart no contact.. It looks like the guy is rebound.

alexander martinez

May 19, 2016 at 4:42 pm

My girlfriend (21) of 3 years left me(24) about a month and a half ago. She at first told me she just needed space to find herself and hang with her friends. We remained in contact with each other for the first 2 weeks. I did the whole trying to win her back with flowers, cards, gifts, telling her how much I loved her. During this time she would not tell me she loved me back or initiate a conversation. After a while I would attempt to just stop contact and it would always end up with constant calling, voicemails, texts saying “so are you just not going to talk to me?” OR “if you don’t answer we are never talking again”.
It got to the point where she called me at 1 in the morning one night to tell me that there was someone else. She also told me she doesn’t see a future with him and she trying to see a future with me. I never got mad at her and that point I just wanted her back. But, she never was able to commit to just me.

During this process she was relying on me for emotional support such as her anxiety, stress at school, stress at work, stress at her parents home. No matter what I would always pick up to answer.

Then one day I got to the point where i said to myself enough is enough. I had told her that this was toxic I can’t do this anymore. That I wasn’t going to compete with a 19 year old that never graduated highschool. I told her to not contact me unless it was an absolute emergency or she was ready.

Since I had established the no contact rule 10 days ago. She has sent me 3 text messages at various hours of the night saying she loves me or hope I’m doing good. I have not replied to any of them.

We had set a cruise date for mid june with my family and her family a month before we broke up. I’ve tried to cancel the the penalty was going to be well over 4k. Do you think by that I should try to talk to her? It will be exactly 30 days by that time. What is going on in her head? There was no real wrongs in the relationship. The day she said we needed space we had just gone out on a date. Of course we would have small arguments like any couple. But, nothing that would drive her away.

I really love her and was ready to spend my life with her. I don’t want to lose her. Help. What should I do.

EGR Team Member: Amor

June 3, 2016 at 2:12 pm

Hi Alexander,

You should talk to her if she still messages you like she really is sorry for being like what she was.

Martin

May 13, 2016 at 9:36 am

Hi I woul like to ask. I texted my ex after time to build up attraction. Messages were about funny storie connected with me and also about tv shows which she likes, I tried also for some emotional support but she did not aswer. After we broke up I was angry with emotions and everytime we met it was not confortable also because I was jealous on her new boyfriend. Now I want to show her that I´m fine with it and that I can support her and be friend as she always wanted when we broke up. I would like to ask you how to react when we meet again and build up attraction again although she has new boyfriend who probably does not know about our textin which was neutral and about meeting?? Thanks

EGR Team Member: Amor

May 14, 2016 at 9:03 am

Hi Martin,

look your best and just have fun.. don’t talk about anything heavy.
Jess

May 14, 2016 at 12:51 pm

Yeah, I did change pretty everything. New style, doing sports and I met a bunch of new people but only as friends.
I did nc like 3-4 Times from 14-20/21 days. Now we are Communicating via text.. She said its friendship for her and telling me how much she loves her new gf. I didnt react on that Statement and instead tried to joke about something else.
Should I try to continue it this way and get her later to do a phone call and then a meeting?
EGR Team Member: Amor

May 15, 2016 at 11:04 am

yes, build rapport first, transition to calls when you’ve built enough rapport.. try to do it while approaching the high note of texting and then build more rapport and attraction when you move to calls before asking to meet up again
Jess

May 15, 2016 at 7:53 pm

Well our last texting kinda led to me asking about a meeting and she said yes. Now she doesnt want to anymore. Im a bit confused..
Also she is visiting her gf atm and still writes me! I swear, I dont get this woman with her behaviour..

Joe B.

May 13, 2016 at 8:23 am

After a alcohol infused verbal fight one night. I had walked in on my ex cheating on me with another guy whom we both met hours ago at a party. After that night I broke it off for obvious reasons. She attempted to date this guy which lasted a week, but now is with a whole new guy and is in a relationship two weeks after the break up. I truly do love this girl and am hurt at the fact she could cheat on me for one and move on to a new guy so quickly. I told her i needed my space after the break in which i had NC for about a month which ended around her birthday so i causally wished her a happy birthday which in return I got a pretty neutral response of Thanks. I proceeded with a follow up question on how she was doing to which i didn’t get a response at all. So my question is, do i go back into a period of NC to work on myself to become more of an Alpha Male to have her chase me or do i start with the steps from where im at and take it slow and let things fall into place. Ultimately, I love this girl and have seen the full potential of her love as well thats why i was so caught off guard of all the things that happened.

Any insight is appreciated,
Thank You
J.B.

EGR Team Member: Amor

May 14, 2016 at 8:26 am

Hi Joe,

why does she do that? It looks like she doesn’t have respect for you or she’s doing it out of vengeance.. If she’s at fault, shouldn’t she be chasing you for forgiveness?

George

May 13, 2016 at 4:37 am

My ex recently admitted she misses me and still has feelings for me even though she has a new guy. She flat out told me she has to limit her contact with me to not screw up her new relationship. We do work together and she has been keeping most of our interactions all business, but there have been some personal conversations as well. How do I get past her limited contact rule in order to have her talking to me more often?

EGR Team Member: Amor

May 14, 2016 at 7:36 am

Hi George,

She has to see that you have moved on and by the time that you try to talk to her again, she has to think that it’s just because you’re being friendly and not trying to get her back..
George

May 14, 2016 at 9:56 pm

I’m a little confused. If I were to show her I’m over her, how does that help me get her back?
EGR Team Member: Amor

May 15, 2016 at 11:57 am

because if she thinks you’re trying to get her back, she’ll protect her current relationship

Markus Schobel

May 12, 2016 at 10:30 pm

I’m writing to you today to figure out how I can get my ex back.

My ex gf is 20 y/o and I am 25 y/o. We were together for just over 2 years, we lived with each other for over a year and broke up 5 weeks ago due to the fact that she needed to move to another country and i wasn’t ready for it. We had a special relationship, we were inseparable, did everything together and we were each others first real love, I mean random people we have never met used to comment about our relationship being special and filled with love.

Moving on she moved over to Melbourne and she has been there for just over a month while i am still stuck in Auckland New Zealand, I will be moving to Australia in 2 months either to live in Sydney or she takes me back I will move to Melbourne to be with her. Currently she is doing well for herself she has found a great job and made a few friends.

We have been consistently talking to each other while she has been in Melbourne, we have face-timed, called and message each other multiple times until this week where she has stopped all contact with me, she traveled to Bali with 3 work friends (2 guys, 1 girl). For the first 2 days of her trip she was with just one guy friend and I got jealous so I asked her questions about whats happening if there is a spark etc. and she replied with “yeah I think there is” so I got jealous tried to contact her multiple times spammed her with calls and messages, which she has ignored. After that I was researching ways on how to get her back and I came across this website. I started the NC rule 2 days to try get her back.

Now my question is how do I handle a situation like this? as she is living in another country and she might have started seeing another person. I have already booked tickets to go to Melbourne in 6 weeks (which she is unaware of) to see other friends I grew up with. I was hoping that during this trip I would be able to hang out with her rekindle our relationship and eventually get back together.

Do I follow the 14 day NC Rule? or should it be longer?
She regularly updates her Snap chat story and I find it hard not to look at it, do I look at her story during the NC period?
After the NC period how do I start communicating so that she gets comfortable with the idea of seeing me in 6 weeks?

EGR Team Member: Amor

May 14, 2016 at 7:14 am

Hi Markus,

try at least 21 days.. during nc, you can’t look at it but you have to be active in your own social media.. Check this post, so you would understand how no contact really works. Using The No Contact Rule (Everything You Need To Know)
Markus Schobel

May 23, 2016 at 3:01 am

Update:

It turns out I was wrong about her seeing another guy, I think she may had said some things to make me feel jealous.

so started communicating with my ex after a period of NC, now we do txt or make time to call each other, each day she tells me things like she loves me and misses me, but is happy with how her life is going in her new city and sis hesitant to get back with me because I did hurt her in our relationship, I never cheated on her nor did I meet up with out woman, but I did message other woman ( which I know was terrible of me). Following on we communicate often but I can tell she is slightly hesitant to message me. We have a organised to meet up with each other in 3 weeks in another city were we plan on spending the weekend together.

My question is: what should I do to make her feel less hesitant towards me? and how can I show her that I have changed as a personvia phone because I have and I don’t want anything else besides her.
Markus Schobel

July 13, 2016 at 11:47 pm

Hi there,

I just finished 30 days of NC with my ex gf, she is still with her new bf of just under 2 months, which I believe is a rebound. Before the NC period I met up with her for a coffee at my place, we hung out for a while and she embraced me with a warm long hug (like when we were going out) I even kissed her a few times on the head cheeks with out her saying anything. But i needed to do the NC period so I could work on improving myself and I am far better from it, because I never did it previously for at least 30 days , also I wanted to make her miss me.

I started communicating with her a couple days ago, I have only sent a couple txts, what I have noticed when I send these messages is that she views them straight away (something she didn’t do before NC) and replies quickly, she calls me love but won’t message me more than a few times, her responses are a little cold some of the time but that is understandable. She never initiates conversations and a couple days ago I received mail of hers which was important, told her about it and she got upset with me.

My question is what should i do now? how would I build attraction through message? Also her 21st is coming up in 4 weeks, I want to get her a gift to be nice and I know its something she would like but would that come off as a bit weird?
EGR Team Member: Amor

July 15, 2016 at 4:45 am

you should end the convo at a high point and initiate texts with interesting topics for her.. and then continue on the activities you started during nc.. and since she’s angry now, let her cool off..at least a week before texting her again

xMellow

May 11, 2016 at 3:25 pm

Recently broke up with my girlfriend of 3 years. we have been through many relationship breaks during those 3 years due to going inter state to study and we did long distance sometimes. but overall it was mostly a short distance relationship. I think she is perfect for me and she also thinks that im perfect for her. we were extremely close and i was planning to get engaged to her pretty soon :(. It all went wrong when i hinted about engagement to her. I found out from her that she has been telling her parents about me for a very long time and her parents always reject me because they are rasicts and she respects her parents to much to go against them. the offical break up happened because her parents being sick of her bringing me up to them, forced her to get to know a new guy that they picked out for her. she has been seeing this guy secretly for around 6 months. she told me that she doesnt really like the guy but is just seeing him to respect her parents wishes. a week ago she called me in tears to offically break up with me. we discussed all these things over a week (her parents, the secret bf, how she doesnt really like him). when she finally called me i didnt know what else to do but just wish her luck and told her that id try and get over her. I only know realise how bad that i needed her in my life pretty recently. I have insomnia so I spend my nights overthinking about her and during the day i keep myself busy. I consider myself as having all the qualities of a good guy. i go to gym every day, im pretty rich, handsome, have a good job, really social, captain of my sports team. basically i have groups of girls chasing me daily that im used to. I really dont know what to do besides trying the no contact rule and just trying to speak to her after then. I just feel if i approach her as a friend then ill stay in the friendzone because of how much she respects her parents wishes. Ive offered alot of times to run away with me. but she wont. besides her parents being racists they are good folk and i understand why she respects them. however this just puts me in a spot where i really dont know what to do. Im sorry if this post is a bit rambly, havent slept for 4 days and just in a constant state of wtf since the break up. its been a week and a half since i havent talked to her. but things are really starting to affect me negatively. im not eating properly, losing muscle, losing weight drastically, no motivation, doing poorly in my studies, the works. if i dont get her back i just feel as if my whole identity is gonna tank as well and ill just be a shell of my former self. this girl is my world. she has been the support beams of my life even before we officially started dating. she is the reason i have so much success she.

EGR Team Member: Amor

May 14, 2016 at 3:10 am

Hi XMellow,

focus on no contact first.. so both of you can think and I hope she’ll miss you.. Do it for 30 days.. but set your expectations to move on because if she doesn’t have the courage to talk to her parents to get to know you first, then it probably won’t work out.

Caleb

May 11, 2016 at 4:06 am

Hello and thank you for your help.
I’m just wondering, by the time I’ve completed the NC rule, I’ll be on vacation very close to where she lives (the neighbouring country). So in re-establishing the friendship, should I ask her to meetup (just as friends). I could ask her to meet in person to discuss how we can still be friends.
Or should I continue slowly with text messages, and just fly home. But that means I will miss the chance to see her?
If I ask her to meet up, it would have to be within a few days of completing the NC period.
Thanks again for all your help.

EGR Team Member: Amor

May 14, 2016 at 2:47 am

Hi Caleb,

How many days after nc are we talking about?
Caleb

May 25, 2016 at 12:24 pm

Well the two weeks NC is already over, but I’m aiming for 21 days. After 21 days, I could wait a week, or possibly up to 10 days before I’d need to meet her if it’s going to happen.
Otherwise, I could stop no contact now and give myself an extra half a week.
What do you recommend?
Caleb

May 25, 2016 at 3:44 pm

I also would like your advice on something else. There is so much I want to say to her about the relationship and how she ended it. I realise this might not be the best idea. But it’s important that she knows how I feel and even though I want her back so much, It’s important to me that she is sorry for how she treated me at the end. So I want to end no contact with a very long very serious email or letter telling her all my feelings about how she ended it (all bad) but also telling her about what I liked about her and the relationship (all good). I realise this is the opposite of what is suggested, but it’s important to me to tell her. I was thinking of telling her that I need to tell her everything so that I can have closure on the relationship (which is true) and then asking her if after discussing the relationship we can focus on being friends (as we were eachothers best friends too). If she accepts this, then I would hope that I can work on winning her back sooner or later.
EGR Team Member: Amor

June 5, 2016 at 12:18 pm

did you send it? if you haven’t, write it down but don’t send it yet.. wait till you get to talking again and assess if you really need to send that letter for you to get comfortable with her.
Caleb

June 7, 2016 at 8:35 am

I didn’t send it yet. I wrote everything down though. I still havn’t broken the no contact period either. I will wait a little bit longer to decide if I should send the letter. Thank you so much for your help and all your advice.

Johnny

May 8, 2016 at 2:19 pm

What if you became the enemy?

In nature, don’t males go head to head for the heart of a female. Why should it be any different for me. Why did I form a bond with a woman just for it to be broken and forgotten. I don’t believe in no contact but it’s so bad now there is no way I could. I know time is the best answer but why should I try and connect with others when I found a connection worth fighting for?

EGR Team Member: Amor

May 13, 2016 at 1:15 pm

Hi Johnny,

what do you mean? by dating others? and what’s your situation? does she have a new bf now?

nath

May 8, 2016 at 8:40 am

what about if she calls you or text you in the no contact rule

EGR Team Member: Amor

May 13, 2016 at 1:10 pm

that means you don’t reply too..

Steven Edward Angius

May 7, 2016 at 5:38 pm

Should I like her pictures and/or posts during or after NC?

Steven Edward Angius

May 7, 2016 at 10:38 pm

Should I talk to her literally every single day? And when we start talking again, can it be through Facebook as well? And if she says she has a boyfriend, what do I say?
Steven Edward Angius

May 8, 2016 at 8:52 pm

Would messaging her be subtle enough to let her know that I’m thinking about her?
Steven Edward Angius

May 9, 2016 at 11:31 pm

Because I’m too nervous to go onto her page in case there’s a picture of them together or if there’s a post about him. I’m a very sensitive guy when it comes to stuff like that.
EGR Team Member: Amor

May 11, 2016 at 11:52 am

you should focus more on working on yourself.. if you take a look at an outsider’s perspective, would she find you attractive and mystrious? If ever she has another guy, if she compares you to him what are your advantages? You have to let her be in a sort of a little chase…

because right now, it’s like you’re working to be the alpha male.. aim for that..
EGR Team Member: Amor

May 11, 2016 at 11:52 am

after nc only.. during nc, focus on improving yourself
Jess

May 11, 2016 at 6:44 pm

Hey there. My gf broke up with me back in january. Cause she met someone else. We were together for 4 years. Believe me, i tried nc. We Even blocked each other multiple times.. But still found back to each other in the way of Communicating. But she still has her gf..
I made every mistake i could possibly make.. Starting with promises, begging, gifts and rushed Meetings. They went all wrong.. As you probably predicted
Now we write each other.. And i really dont know what i should do. my ex says that she doesnt trust me and doesnt want me back.. Yet still Writing in whatsapp sometimes..
And i would Love to buy your book but i dont have a Credit Card.. Any chance to buy it with Paypal?
EGR Team Member: Amor

May 14, 2016 at 3:12 am

Hi Jess,

sorry for now it’s only available in credit card.. how many times did you do nc? for how long? were you active in changing your lifestyle, improving yourself and meeting new people?
Steven Edward Angius

May 11, 2016 at 8:39 pm

Well, for one thing, I don’t smoke. I also love to work out a lot. What should I do if she either say she has a boyfriend or if she doesn’t say so?
Steven Edward Angius

May 11, 2016 at 8:42 pm

I found out that she did because she posted it on Facebook.
Steven Edward Angius

May 11, 2016 at 10:24 pm

And should I build rapport with her after I reestablish our friendship or should I provide her with emotional support before doing so?
Steven Edward Angius

May 12, 2016 at 3:33 am

I’m a really nice guy, I’m a good listener, and we share a lot of the same interests (taste in music, movies, shows). We have the same sense of humor as well.
Steven Edward Angius

May 13, 2016 at 7:11 pm

What should I do if she says she has a boyfriend or she doesn’t say so?
EGR Team Member: Amor

May 14, 2016 at 3:17 am

you have to choose, either to move on or be careful and continue to improve yourself physically and socially.. if she has boyfriend you have to be less threatening to the relationship by not being too forward and be more interesting and attractive by continuing to do the thing you do to improve yourself and meet new people and always having a good chat with her.. so she’ll see you as a positive source.
Steven Edward Angius

May 15, 2016 at 2:20 am

I just had another thought: When she and I start reestablishing our friendship, would me spacing out the conversations on Facebook (making them last for a while by continuing them at a later date) be a good way to build rapport, kind of like Dash Texting?
EGR Team Member: Amor

May 15, 2016 at 12:12 pm

it depends on how the convo is going.. if you had a very positive convo that’s ok to create excitement, but if you have to build up slowly, you have to take the tide theory.
Steven Edward Angius

May 15, 2016 at 7:51 pm

Does the Tide Theory have to be through texting or can it be through Facebook too?
EGR Team Member: Amor

May 16, 2016 at 1:47 am

it’s ok if it’s Facebook 🙂
Steven Edward Angius

May 16, 2016 at 3:52 am

I think I might have a strategy figured out here: First reestablishing the friendship, then build rapport on Facebook. Then build a little attraction from there. Then move toward building attraction with text. Then from there, build attraction through phone calls. And finally, meet up in person.
EGR Team Member: Amor

May 16, 2016 at 4:52 am

Yes! 🙂 You’re on point!
Steven Edward Angius

May 16, 2016 at 9:49 pm

If she doesn’t mention him to me at all, what does it mean?
Steven Edward Angius

May 22, 2016 at 2:48 am

Should I continue to build rapport, using the Tide Theory, until they get into a few arguments, and then from there, build attraction?
Steven Edward Angius

May 23, 2016 at 6:44 pm

What do I do if we talk on Facebook and she stops responding?

Alexandr

May 4, 2016 at 7:47 pm

Damn I really want to go see her, but I know her current guy will be there too. Also I dont feel confident in my appearance right now. Been up late a lot doing my finals just getting back to normal sleeping now. Plus I have an eye infection too lol that’s not the way I want her to see me at all. I have to cancel my dates too because of the eye lol. So frustrating.

Alexandr

May 8, 2016 at 12:57 pm

I didn’t go for the chance of her being their and seeing me not at my best. I sent her a message that I went but couldn’t make it in time before closing. I actually did go but couldn’t make it due to traffic. I don’t think I would’ve went inside anyways just because I didn’t want to see her current interest there. Now she doesn’t respond to my message. I still have faith that I can get her back, but sometimes it’s just hard with everyone telling you to move on. I know I’m not priority so I can’t expect responses like when we were together. But is staying in contact even if it is a little bit still the best option right now?
EGR Team Member: Amor

May 11, 2016 at 10:43 am

the best option is actually maintain your best so every time she sees you that’s what she’s reminded of.. but being present ALL the time is not good.. it’s good to be present and be her friend so, that when she her boyfriend she’ll compare you to him but if she also agrees with him that you’re doing this to get her back, she might get protective.
Alexandr

May 12, 2016 at 5:57 pm

So she hasn’t replied or sent any messages regarding my last text about missing her grad show. I don’t believe she actually cared weather I went or not but anyways I understand that. It’s been 5 days, I’m not concerned about her not getting back to me though. But What can / should I do at this point just wait till she initiates? Or should I initiate again with something? How long should I wait? The most she’s gone without reaching out to me has been 2 weeks so I’m not really thrown off by it. Lol.

Oh also I went on one date, it helped with confidence cause she really likes me but I don’t feel the same as hard as I tried to tell myself to give it a try. It just made me realize how much more I want my girl back. Hahaha. Lots of questions I know, hope you can help me out with this one. Thanks amor.
EGR Team Member: Amor

May 14, 2016 at 6:53 am

it’s ok if you initiate, what matters more is how you text her and that you end it at high point.. it’s okay to text now, since it’s been a week.

Caleb

May 3, 2016 at 5:16 am

My girlfriend broke up with me last week. We’d been together two years. But for the past 6 months it had been a long distance relationship. She was completely in love with me as little as two months ago. She told me she couldn’t do the long distance any more, so I said I’d move to be beside her. However then she told me that she’d met a new friend and they’ve been flirting for the last month and they’ve just started dating this week after she dumped me. It seems like her feelings for me have completely evaporated so quickly. It was once I’d asked her to take me back and I’d move to be beside her that she told me about the new guy (2 days ago). I really want to ask her one more time to reconsider before she gets too serious with the new guy. I was actually supposed to visit her for the next month. So I want to ask her to think about letting me come over to see her. Would that be okay? And if she says no, then do a NC period. Or is it better to enter the NC period right away?
I’m just so confused how her feelings changed so fast, and she seems to have made up her mind that she doesn’t want me any more.

EGR Team Member: Amor

May 4, 2016 at 6:39 pm

Hi Caleb,

it’s better to just proceed nc.. It’s because they’ve been bonding long before she told you that’s why it seems too fast.

Darius

May 3, 2016 at 12:53 am

I’m going to try the no contact rule for 14 days because my ex now has a new boyfriend I’m pretty scared though because I don’t know if I’ll ever get her back at first she said that she just needs time and if I loved her I’d waitake for her but thenot after I pleaded and begged she just told me that she’d message me when she was ready and when I got one of my friends to ask about my chances she said that there were no chances whether this is true or not idk but my question is if by chance she breaks no contact first am I allowed to talk to her or do I stay my course of action

EGR Team Member: Amor

May 4, 2016 at 6:26 pm

Hi Darius,

it depends. If she says she wants to get back yes, but other than that, if it’s just a casual hi, nope.

Steven Edward Angius

May 1, 2016 at 7:54 pm

I’m trying to get back together with my ex girlfriend. I’ll tell you the entire story from beginning to end. Back in December, 2011, I convinced this friend of mine to be my girlfriend, and then the next day, I got too nervous and chickened out of the relationship. We’ve been friends since then. Fast forward to the beginning of last year, I realized I still loved her, and then in the fall, I asked her to dinner and she said yes. Then after dinner, I told her I like her, but she didn’t reciprocate. Then I made the mistake of agreeing to being friends with her. She texted me a few days later and asked if I was mad at her and I responded with a simple no. Then she sent me a couple of text to which I didn’t respond. And then a couple of days later, she text me saying “Please talk to me. What’s up? We are still good friends.” I then said that I needed space. And everything that happened after she didn’t return my feelings happened LONG before I even knew that there was a way to get an ex girlfriend back. She did contact me a couple of times during the No Contact period, but I didn’t respond either time. She called me a couple of times post NC, but she said she pocket dialed me both times and I know she called me on purpose both of those times. I kept trying to text her about things that she likes and how they made me think about her, but I would keep getting a neutral response. Now she has a boyfriend. Would your guide on how to get your ex girlfriend back if she has a boyfriend work for someone who only went out with a girl for a day?

EGR Team Member: Amor

May 1, 2016 at 9:00 pm

you have to approach her as friends only..so she won’t be protective of her current relationship..
Steven Edward Angius

May 1, 2016 at 9:19 pm

Would it still work if the relationship was only for a day?
EGR Team Member: Amor

May 2, 2016 at 2:19 am

forget your history… treat this as a restart..
Steven Edward Angius

May 5, 2016 at 2:35 am

I think she’s going out with an acquaintance of mine. What should I do?

Jordan

May 1, 2016 at 6:23 pm

Me and my girlfriend broke up a month and a half ago. I just recently realized I need her in my life and I’m losing sleep over her.. the only thing is she is with a new guy now. I fear through my attempts to try and talk to her I have made myself a common enemy of both of them, as she has blocked me on all social media (Facebook, instagram, and snapchat). How do I get her to realize that I truly do need her in my life and get her to start talking to me again and get her back?? Please help me.

EGR Team Member: Amor

May 2, 2016 at 2:09 am

Hi Jordan,

start woth no contact first.. if you push to let her know you want her back she will avoid you more to protect her current.. do nc, improve yourself and then after that approach in a perspectives that you’re just friends

GWT

May 1, 2016 at 5:03 pm

My girlfriend of 2 years left me 2 months ago. During this time i tried a few times to get back together, but never really putting much effort. I was trying to give her space to figure out her feelings for herself but instead she got the impression that i wanted nothing to do with her. After about two months one of my friends, not friends anymore, decided to go after her. He is a very smooth talker and doesn’t care about anyone other than himself. Now she has fallen for him and tells me she doesn’t feel the same but sends mix singles when ever i see her. She says the only reason she talks and flirts with me is because she doesn’t want to hurt me and wants to make it easier for me. Once i heard my friend was going for her i decided i couldn’t wait anymore and did just about everything wrong. Now her friends all tell her to go with the new guy and tell her the only reason i want to be with her is because I’m jealous and don’t want her to be with anyone else. I did spend many weeks trying to figure out whether it was jealousy or if my feelings were real. Anyway, she tells me she knows its not jealousy but she said in our last conversation that why now. Why try so hard now? Then going on to say stuff about you only started trying when he came along. My biggest problem is i gave her time before and she thought i hated her and says she forced herself to lose her feelings for me. Knowing who she is, she does’t like to get hurt, so she tries to avoid it and to me and a few other people, it seems as if she is confused because her friends are telling her to go with this new guy but it seems like she has feelings for me still by the way she acts. She never really opens up in this type of situation, we broke up once before and i was able to show her the fun we had together by hanging out and talking and eventually got back together. During that time she would never she how she felt, she just would give me a dry answer and one day wanted to get back together. The new guy when they start talking was planning to go to college half way across the country, so he has no plans to have a committed relationship. Other things happened with money and is now going to the same college i will be attending. She tells me she misses talking to me and hanging out with me. She told me she would still be happy together but she just can’t get back together.
My question is do i give her a hundred percent NC with the possibility she will think i have moved on and confirm the thought of me being only jealous. I try to give her space recently because the prom is coming up and he asked her but i keep getting told everything thats happening with them and i gave after a few days of not talking and text her. She also said she would not date him but i can tell that she has fallen for him probably because of my pushing. I know i wasn’t the best partner and i made a lot of mistakes but nothing really bad but i know what i have to do if i get a chance. I like to believe i have become a better person and know how to treat her now but i think she is scared knowing who she is. What should i do?

EGR Team Member: Amor

May 2, 2016 at 2:13 am

Hi Gwt,

do you mean you feel you should contnue talking to her instead of nc because it’s working? if so, that’s ok to do it
GWT

May 2, 2016 at 3:25 am

It seems like when we talk it reminds her of what we had but then people say things about her getting back with me and leading on the new guy and she gets mad at me and says “we can’t talk anymore” but then we end up talking. The thing that puzzles me is that the new guy and i are polar opposites. He is a very smooth talker and when he is done with you he gets rid of you. Do i step back and let her see that or do i try to show her the person she feel in love with and hope she comes back?
EGR Team Member: Amor

May 4, 2016 at 2:43 pm

what do you mean you’ll try to show her? you mean you’re going to tell her what you think about the other guy? don’t do it.. you’ll sound attacking him
GWT

May 4, 2016 at 11:30 pm

I mean talk to her like we talked before we were dating to remind her of the person she fell in love with.
EGR Team Member: Amor

May 11, 2016 at 11:14 am

oh sorry.. yeah, that’s ok..

Tyags.

May 1, 2016 at 1:08 pm

So yes,

I am currently in a position which I have never been in my previous relationships and I never understood the words from my exes what it really meant “Missing you – the time with you was the best in my life” until I too was in the position. Basically, I was quite aloof in any relationship, – you could say defensive, so I dont get hurt and a relationship adds on to my life and not be my life in total. But, there this girl happened and she swooped me, demanded I give her more attention, and infact I did like someone bothering me much and making me show the love. It was good, but then I had proposed her for marriage and she did say yes, – YALLA! but due to other (family differences) we couldn;t get past that stage. Here is where the problem starts. Both were in love and we had to call it off since it wasn’t a practical choice for us. We did take the call, but then we still kept in touch and we were looking for other opportunities simultaneously, but we still knew where our hearts were. (It was long distance purely as well). So we kept texting, calling, talking, hang out etc etc as if nothing happened and then the worst thing happened – another guy who was in the picture earlier while we were together was still there and he started making the move – very subtly though – So the attention and priority from me was shifted in phases and men ofcourse dont like that do we. So I dint comment much, but i ensured she made the right choice (not him thought) but you know, continuous talking and sharing stuff will eventually lead you there (this was as well long distance) – Things were fine but then he made a trip to meet her and she infact did like him as well. Now I dont get those texts which i used to get annoyed about before like why is she texting me so muchhh ? and I really miss them – I miss the attention I had gotten – I cant stop thinking about how to get her back rather win her back. I miss talking to her – She made me zone out from the entire world and give her the attention which she needed and I did give and got back the love as well. but then, I am still laying back and expecting the same thing, since for me nothing has changed – I am unable to accept the change. Mostly its like I was kind of used as a buffer – to satisfy the love needs until a connection was formed and slowly the game shifted – I am unable to do the same. I feel Like i’ve committed myself to her. (Its never happened before – Mine are mostly flings and short term relationships) and I am not interested in seeing other women as well, despite getting a lot of overtures. So once the conversation was developing through texts and I did infact get her to text back instantly with my conv but then i went little overboard and asked her out – No reply for 2 days and she said she was confused and I thoguht I had won it but she mentioned a lot of things in anger saying there’s is no point in me holding back or knowing she is with another guy, I shouldn’t try to pull her back – which is more defensive in nature for the new relationship. So now its affecting me, every second I am expecting a text / call from her and give me happiness when I do get to speak, but its not for long. She is consciously not giving in to speaking with me, since she wants to get over this feeling, but then she knows where her heart and I know mine too, so want to win her back and make her feel not bad about the new guy. And I need to know how to not being affected by her every actions – She reads and doesn’t reply in Whatsapp – Calls unanswered, FB Pings seen – reply comes when she has nothing to do like that – that hurts – I want to be that guy where I was before where I never got affected by any of these. 🙂 Requisite the members to contribute and pull this chap out of the misery! 🙂

EGR Team Member: Amor

May 2, 2016 at 1:53 am

Hi Tyags,

you should start no contact.. have you?
Tyags.

May 2, 2016 at 11:00 am

Yes. I did a NC for a month – but then she used to ping here n there and she did miss me, but I think the bus was missed where I should have continued normal texting, being in NC she resorted to speak to the other guy and their connect was developing….so now she’s really protective of whats happening and consciously avoids having those flirtatious conversations with me.!
EGR Team Member: Amor

May 4, 2016 at 2:58 pm

hmmm.. I just want to make it clear, the other guys started texting her while you remained texting even after you called off the engagement right?

Jonathan

April 29, 2016 at 10:14 am

I recently broke up with my gf after 5 years. She lost her viginity to me and I was her first real boyfriend. We had breaks and very few break ups but they were all caused by me. This month of April, I started showing signs of disinterest while still together, I felt she was so needy and emotional. I ended breaking up with her again mid month because I did not like that she never put up pictures of us on instagram and facebook. She said it was because she didnt feel we went out a lot and felt I didnt put enough effort. Well after I broke up with her, she would text me to make sure we are still single, she also wanted to hangout at one point but I kept neglecting her. I wanted to make her miss me and want me, and get back together and start putting me up on social media. We ended up having a final argument which ended up in me saying “this is the last time we will ever talk, goodbye”. The funny thing is that she still asked why I deleted her on facebook and instagram a day later. I asked her if she wanted to be friends and she said yes, I decided to only add her on facebook. 3 days pass without much contact and I see she is in a new relationship. Keep in mind that this girl was totally in love with me and never cheated on me once. When we had breaks, she would always make it so that I wanted her back, like she did earlier. A month ago, we had sex in my room like always and she expressed how she wouldnt know what to do without me in her life, she would always say “forever?” for me to assure her of never leaving her. I was so crushed when I saw her put up a new relationship. That day, I messaged her and told her why so fast? She said that it wasnt fast , that they started talking only as friends a month before. The next day, I see pictures go up and in one them they are out kissing. I was destroyed. I ended up messaging her that I still loved her and that I wanted her to have my kids like we planned, that we said forever. She gave me a huge paragraph of what I did wrong, and that she did not love me anymore, that she moved on quick, because she realized how ive treated her all these years. I told her that we are soulmates no matter what happens. She said I am definitely not her soulmate and neglected anything i said to get her back, complete opposite of what she would normally do. She ended up calling me at work to tell me to stop messaging her about our relationship, even though I stopped an hour earlier already. Why didnt she just message that? Later in the night I get a call from her number but no one speaks just background noise. The following morning she left a voicemail saying that she read over our messages and said that she hopes i move on quick and recuperate, that she was concerned about how i sounded over text since she has never heard me talk like that. She said out of concern that its okay to reach out to her if I need to. I didnt respond back. Two days pass and Im starting to hurt more, now i want her back really badly so at night i asked her to talk to me over the phone. She didnt hesitate to deny me. I ended spilling my heart out on that phone call, asking her to come back to me, that ive never been hurt by her like this. She showed no sympathy at all, it was not like her. She said she no longer loved me, when i would bring up making love she said to stop because it made her cringe. That what she said just a month ago about forever was only because she didnt realize how much i hurt her over the years. That she found someone who always listens to her and doesnt criticize her when she needs comfort. She said she is finally happy. She has it all over social media that she is happier than ever. She hasnt not blocked me but were not friends anywhere. She no longer wants me. The call ended on bad terms, i told her to tell me that she is going to have sex with her new guy eventually one day at the end, so that i can feel numb and try to let her go completely. She didnt want to at first because it was none of my business, but she ended up saying it after I pleaded for it. I was devastated. The next morning there is a missed facebook call from her. I asked her why did she call me. She said it was an accident. I simply replied with “ok” and I dont know why but she texted “ok” as well. Because she has tried to reach out to me I am so confused. Do you think she still loves me and cannot move on that fast? Today i peeked at her now public instagram and there was another new picture. Im so depressed, thinking that she is really happy and I that I wont be able to get her back. I havent talked to her since that “ok”, its been 2 days since. I plan on talking to her in 2 more days to try to briefly make amends and work my way to friendship. Should I even try? She is the type of person who doesnt like to hurt anyone, so it makes me think she wont want to leave her new guy for me.

EGR Team Member: Amor

May 1, 2016 at 9:22 pm

Hi Jonathan,

it’s better if you would do no contact.. right now, that’s chasing.. you’re too emotional for a friendship.. work on yourself first.. do it for 30 days before you try to contact her.
Jonathan

May 2, 2016 at 12:30 am

She ended up calling me yesterday. She started with asking for a piece of clothing and I said that I would look for it (in our final phone call a few days ago, she said to throw away all her things). She then proceeded to go into many subjects about her life which I didn’t ask to hear. She told me how she is finally doing the things she wanted, that she woke up crying this morning because she realized how happy she is now. She said she is even going in a trip to new mexico… that got me curious and I asked if it was with her new guy. She said yes. She also asked me, how was it that I saw her new pictures of her new guy on social media when she made sure she took me off (but no blocking). Her instagram was public so I dont know if she was bullshitting me. She then asked me how I was doing. I gave her the apology about everything that happened that was said and that I wish her well. I said I dont want to hold any grudges towards you and that she is a great person and doesnt deserve that. She said wow, thank you. Keep in mind I never once made it seem like I wanted her back. I told her that Im doing ok and that I stopped doing many of the things the she didnt like, like smoking weed – her voice cracked a little and said oh really? I then told her that if i could go back, I would change everything to change the outcome of what happened, that it is my burden to hold and that I will live with it for the rest of my life. I told her that im not holding any ill feelings towards her and that im even open to the idea of being friends. she agreed about being friends as if she was already thinking about it. She then said she was thankful for the 5 year experience and she learned a lot, that she now knows what she wants and she is doing everything she wanted to do with me, that she was happy. I decided to end the phone call be telling her I had to go, i said i wish you well, take care and bye. Her voice cracked and she said ok, talk to you later. So my question is, why did she say all these things to me without me even asking? She knows that saying that saying she is happy now with her new guy will hurt me although i never showed that pain on the phone call. Is she trying to have me try to get her back, or is it wishful thinking?
EGR Team Member: Amor

May 2, 2016 at 2:25 am

we don’t know.. but what’s sure is she tried to reconnect..so that’s a good sign

VCR

April 29, 2016 at 12:17 am

Hey Amor younseem to have really good advice and I am in need of some clarity!! So heres my situation!! Me and my ex were together for 18 months and it was amazing!! There were a couple of bad nights like 2 or 3 during that time but they had to do with drinking. So anyway the last bad night is what ultimately led to our break up. I ended up doing 3 months in jail because of it. But she stood by my side all the way up untill I got out than she broke up with me over the phone when I called her. To let her know I was a free man. Now I know what was causing me to drink a lot had to do with the fact I was somewhat insecure because I had a devistating break up summer of 2013 with the woman who I thought was my soulmate and it took me a year and some change to get over her. I still think about her sometimes but have lost all hope of rekindling that fire. So while I was locked up I had time to think and I realized how much my new girl meant to me and that I really loved her and was ready to let my gaurd down and give love another chance. But seems I was a day late and a dollar short cause after she broke up with me we were still friends on fb and my other ex that I was dating summer of 14 seen I was single again and friend requested me on fb and since my ex broke up with me I accepted. And she commented on something I posted and my ex seen it and got super upset and sent me a message saying she was done and she just wanted her stuff. So I told the other ex its best if we just stay friends but had to block her on fb cause I didnt want to upset the one I was still in love with anymore than she aready was. Well about a week later March 7th (got out on Feb 23 just a lil time frame) my ex changed her fb status to in a relationship and changed her profile pic to her kissing this new guy. And than she blocked me. But I handled the situation maturly and didnt text her anything rude as a matter of fact I only texted her on Easter wishing her and her daughter a happy Easter. So it was pretty much nc up untill that point from both of us. So than get this about a week later she calls me up out of the clear blue. I was still kinda heartbroken over everything but was starting to move on even though I still thought about her all the time I was starting to heal. So we had a 3 hr long conversation and it went great we talked we had some laughs and it was like we were together again. So we texted a couple times over the past couple of weeks and than she called me on Friday telling me she was bored so I was working at the time and told her I would call her back after work and I did. And I invited her down for the weekend and she accepted. We now live 3 hrs apart cause she moved back home while I was locked up. She has her own apartment but its in the same town her bf lives in. So I picked her up after work I offered to let her sleep in my bed and I sleep on the couch but she insisted I sleep in the bed with her so yeah we made love the first night than we woke up and did it again she came to help me on one of my jobs as I have my own construction company and she used to work with me sometimes when we were together. And we had fun. Than I took her to a carnival we ate some food and went on a ride and I won her a stuffed furry animal. And it was great. We went back to my place afterward and did it again. Than we woke up the next day and I had to go out to look at a job and she stayed at my house while I was gone. I came back and we went out to eat at our favorite restaurant for lunch than went over to my cousins house she is close friends with them and she wanted to see theyre baby which she loves. And than we wen back to my house and we did it again and watched a movie. Than I had to take her home. We held hands the whole ride and she told me she loved me when I dropped her off and she told me she left me a note on my dresser mirror to read when I got home. The note said my name, I love you with all my heart no matter what we have been through 4ever&always yours, love her name. With lots of hearts. Now she did unblock me on fb and added me back as a friend whe she first called me april 7th but than she posted a couple of old pics of her and her new bf a couple days later saying how much she loved him so I blocked her cause I didnt want to see that cause it upset me. She knew thats why I blocked her too. So I am just unsure of what to think or do or believe she has me so confused now. Because if she really loved me like she said she does wouldnt she break up with her new bf and get back with me or what? I just dont know what her intentions are and it’s kinda messing with my emotions a little bit cause she said she was gonna call me last night after she got off work and she never did and I texted her a pic of the new job I was working on with my new yard sign and she didn’t respond. So maybe she was just using me for sex. Or maybe shes confused. Please help me figure this out I need your advice please!! Thank you!!

EGR Team Member: Amor

May 1, 2016 at 8:39 pm

HI VCR,

I think her letter was a goodbye.. Either she loves you both and she prefers to stay with the current because she feels more secured with him.. or she’s really confused.. It’s a tricky one.. You can try to do nc.. but don’t do any jealousy tactic.. improve yourself and be active in posting it. That way, let’s hope she misses you, and sees the change and starts to take a chance when you get to talking again.

Anon

April 28, 2016 at 2:59 pm

I wanted to know if its weird that before my ex girlfriend would comment on her boyfriends pictures whenever he posted and now theyre about 2 and half months in together and now she doesnt comment on any of his things and doesnt post about him on snapchat. Even when she did like a few days ago saying “missing him more than ever” she deleted the post several hours afterwards. Whenever she posts a picture he never comments on it and i find it a bit odd. She doesnt even post pictures of him on her instagram but he posted one about her and she didnt comment. The only thing she did was that he changed his profile picture on facebook to it being both her and him together and then several hours later she did it. He had to do it first before she did. Im starting to believe and feel like theres something weird going on in that relationship or am i just being weird about it?

EGR Team Member: Amor

May 1, 2016 at 6:49 pm

maybe they’re just getting past the honeymoon stage
Anon

May 2, 2016 at 2:11 am

That could be true, but this throws me off that she actually changed her profile picture which she hasnt changed even while me and her were dating and hasnt posted any pictures of her boyfriend up until i requested to follow her on instagram and then as i did that she put that up and then proceeded to block me on instagram afterwards. Why in the world would that happen.
EGR Team Member: Amor

May 2, 2016 at 2:36 am

yeah.. it looks she wants to make you jealous..give it more time so you can observe

Rex

April 28, 2016 at 4:11 am

Hey there,

So me and my GF split up in January, she said that I was too much hard work for her considering the major events that happened in her life recently. We had only been friends with benefits for about 3 months but I beleive the break-up was triggered when I wanted to start dating. As we split she said other people had asked her out, and I then caught her with another guy.

I then initiated 3 weeks NC and tried talking to her afterwards. She seemed really reluctant to talk to me and hang out, I asked if she even wanted to try be friends and she said she didnt want to ruin things (I can only assume, with this other guy) we then had another argument as I wanted to clarify what went wrong (My fault for bringing it up too soon), she said please dont talk to me for a while. So I have done another NC for three weeks and just the other day I bumped into her and a friend. I asked how she was and the convo seemed to be forced…. more that free flowing…. I haven’t tried talking to her again. (As I deleted all forms of comms, (Fb, phone numbers, snapchat etc…)) What do you recommend? as I have done NC for three weeks twice. I have worked on myself, doing new hobbies, gone on holidays, gyming a lot. My look when I saw her wasn’t the best but oh well. Lol.

Cheers

EGR Team Member: Amor

April 28, 2016 at 8:39 am

Hi Rex,

she’s protecting her cirrent relationship..she has to see that you have moved in and if ever you talk again, she has to think you’re just friendly
Rex

April 28, 2016 at 10:28 pm

So are you saying that I should not try and reattempt to contact her and to let her contact me when shes ready? Should I not try and re-add her on social medias?
EGR Team Member: Amor

May 1, 2016 at 8:18 pm

you can try.. just make sure that you don’t mention you’re trying to get her back or you still have feelings for her.. She has to think you’re just being friendly and then from that build rapport and attraction.. because once her bf notices that, he will get jealous and if she agrees with him, she’ll avoid you but if she thinks he’s just being jealous, she’ll more likely stay friends and get tired of him
Rex

May 2, 2016 at 1:37 am

Hey Amor,

So I’ve bumped into her a several times lately and we just give each other the awkward silence, is it worth me trying to talk to her and see how she’s going or wait and let her make the move when she feels comfortable and sees that I’m doing well by myself?
EGR Team Member: Amor

May 2, 2016 at 2:26 am

it’s ok to try.. but if you’re not comfortable doing that.. it’s alright to wait too
Rex

May 5, 2016 at 9:02 pm

Hey Amor,

I was thinking about trying to get in contact with my ex soon as I haven’t bumped into her since my last message to you, but im really not sure what to say to her. Then im unsure how to react if she begins replying negatively or as if she doesn’t care.
Rex

May 11, 2016 at 1:55 am

Just another quick question, she has made no effort to contact me over the time of our break-up (4 months). Besides occasionally bumping into her, we have not talked, Is that a sign she just doesn’t care anymore and I should cut my losses?
EGR Team Member: Amor

May 12, 2016 at 11:31 am

it can be a sign that she has moved.. in whether you should try, that depends on you..
Rex

May 15, 2016 at 2:39 am

Hello Amor,

I took the gamble and I sent her a rather passive text message, saying I saw something that reminded me of her and that I hope shes is doing great. I have yet to hear anything from her, should I take this as a sign she cant be bothered with me or wait a few days and attempt a more engaging message?
EGR Team Member: Amor

May 15, 2016 at 12:13 pm

wait for a few days first.. try to wait for 2-3 days before attempting again.
Rex

May 16, 2016 at 1:12 am

Can do. 😀 Any tips on something that would be able to get a reply?
EGR Team Member: Amor

May 16, 2016 at 4:35 am

leave the text in cliffhanger, or choose a topic that you can offer more insights for her learn or news about it.
Rex

May 25, 2016 at 8:43 pm

So I haven’t contacted her for nearly two weeks and I got a message from her a few days a go asking since when am I friends with one of her exes. There was no mention of how are you? hope you’re doing well etc… Is it worth even replying to it?
EGR Team Member: Amor

June 6, 2016 at 3:13 am

nope.. I hope you didn’t reply to that.

Kevin

April 27, 2016 at 5:38 pm

I have just completed my 14 days NC. She has been in a relationship for 1 1/2 weeks. I’m not entirely sure what to say to her. Or should I wait a little longer. If I do message her you think I could ask about how her car is doing, I know it needed work done when we split up and I work for her father so I know it hasn’t been done, or should I just mention that I finally got a chance to catch up on a show her and I used to watch together or should I mention something about the animal rescue I volunteer at since it was her who got me up sign up for it and she’s never goes. I’m sorry of at a loss on what to say you her, I really want her to respond lol.

Kevin

April 27, 2016 at 5:39 pm

Or I did make the mistake of deleting her on fb the day we broke up. Would it be subtle enough to just add her back on Facebook,? Would that be the best start?
EGR Team Member: Amor

April 27, 2016 at 11:04 pm

That’s a good start too.. if you want, you can add her this day, and then message her the next day…
EGR Team Member: Amor

April 27, 2016 at 11:04 pm

It’s okay Kevin!! The car topic is good to start with.. actually all of your topics are good.. you can choose which ones you’re more comfortable as a first contact message.
Kevin

May 2, 2016 at 8:09 pm

Do you think it would be easier to write a short letter. I’m waiting till 21 days but I’m not sure which method to go with. Text. Letter or Facebook message
EGR Team Member: Amor

May 4, 2016 at 3:23 pm

text or fb message.. a letter is awkward..

David

April 26, 2016 at 11:48 pm

Hi,
So my girlfriend f 6 years broke up with me about 22 days ago and I began following the program. Our relationship had a lot of problems towards the end and I see that now but I was initially blindsided by the breakup. However, I enacted no contact and worked on improving myself and was 15 days in when she contacted me on my birthday and asked to meet up later in the week. I didn’t initially reply but later that day when I was grabbing lunch (we go to the same small college) she ambushed me and asked me to come over to watch a sports game that night. Her attitude was completely different than it had been previously she was energetic and met my eyes. Previously she had avoided looking at me when we passed each other and left as quickly as possible. The plans for that night eventually fell through but now we are texting each other and i am getting positive responses and am having some medium length discussions 10 to 15 messages. We are meeting on a Friday the 29th for lunch. She says she misses me and wants to be friendly. However there are only 2 weeks left in the term and then I will be headed home for the summer and she is staying at our school. This wouldn’t be an issue but when she broke it off she told me she had feelings for one of her close friends. They are together all the time now and she says she didn’t cheat on me but I suspect she emotionally cheated while we were together. I believe they are in a relationship now. She is going to be spending the summer at the college and so is this guy. What can I do please help. (I am leaving the country for a month in 3 weeks)

EGR Team Member: Amor

April 28, 2016 at 7:38 am

Hi David,

make it clear first if they are really togeher now
David

April 29, 2016 at 8:15 pm

So today we went to lunch and I told her I was sorry for my part of the breakup and told her I had made some changes she cried, then we went to lunch and we had a great time at lunch it was fun and enjoyable. we spent 3 hours together today. Then when I was headed to drop her off I said I was OK with her being with her new boyfriend which she confirmed then I said I loved texting her recently and enjoyed talking with her but I wasn’t ready to be her friend (she had invited me to an event next Saturday where th e boyfriend would be at). I said I wanted to stay in contact with her and take things slow and see what we could be and that maybe next year would be different. She cried at all of this and I said I wanted her to get to know the new me instead of me telling her I was different. How should I proceed considering the above?
David

May 1, 2016 at 9:33 pm

A bit of an update she told me she misses me and doesn’t know if she made the right choice, I told her I want her to be happy and I can’t tell her what to do. She said she is happy now but not as happy as she wants to be and she doesn’t know what is right.
EGR Team Member: Amor

May 2, 2016 at 1:08 am

that’s good… you should proceed to nc.. if you’re not comfortable tell her one last time that you’re giving her space before doing it..
David

May 5, 2016 at 7:05 pm

How long should I go no contact?
David

May 5, 2016 at 8:44 pm

I told her that I think we both need space and some other emotional things and she seemed kind of mad and said ok I dont know what to say then she left? Should I go no contact still and after no contact how should I reinitialize contact.
David

May 10, 2016 at 11:04 pm

I am three days into nc and have gone home for the summer. How long should I maintain nc this time?
EGR Team Member: Amor

May 12, 2016 at 11:23 am

it’s better if you can do it the whole summer, so that when you go back to school it will be a restart but if not.. aim to do at least 45 days
David

June 6, 2016 at 7:10 pm

Hi so I have dine almost 45 days of nc and she contacted me twice in the last 3 days I responded to the first text and only texted her back twice and have yet to respond to the other text. She is still with this other guy as far as I can tell and we are just past the 2 month mark of the breakup How should I move forward in this situation? Keep NC or LC? Or do I try to rebuild rapport? I dont want to get friend zoned and even if this other guy is a sleezeball I feel a little uncomfortable going after a girl who is taken.
EGR Team Member: Amor

June 9, 2016 at 8:41 am

basically you broke nc when you responded to her.. how are you talking to her? is it friendly, flirty?
David Sarkan

June 10, 2016 at 2:10 pm

They are friendly and she seems engaged and does the majority of the talking. Honestly I have generally ended the conversations before they were long enough to be flirty. She also asked if id be back in town before july to which I said maybe.

Should I reenter no contact? And do you think her asking if ill be in town before july, after which she is probably going to chicago, is her trying to set up a meet?

As far as I know she is still with the other guy. As a friend of mine apparently talked to her friend about her new bf at a party they were at.
EGR Team Member: Amor

June 12, 2016 at 2:21 pm

yeah, you should contnue now to build rapport with her slowly
David

July 2, 2016 at 6:52 pm

Hi so a bit of an update things have been going really well recently, I have been building rapport with her. Unfortunately she lost a family member several weeks ago. I was there for her and we have been talking and when I am in town we have been hanging out. She has even got to the point where she says she loves me and that she is interested in maybe getting back together. She pressed me to see how I felt as well. I was reluctant but eventually told her I might be interested. However, she had been with her rebound still but seeing as how me and him were both long distance from her most of the time it didn’t really bother me. However, a day or two ago she and her rebound broke up. She called a day after they broke up and told me she doesn’t know what she wants. She said she was wrong for saying what she did, even though she felt it and still fells that way about me. I’m just confused about what to do from here. She texted me today for small talk. She had even asked me out on a date when Im back in town at the end of July. Obviously that is in limbo now. How should I proceed going forward.
EGR Team Member: Amor

July 3, 2016 at 1:04 pm

Hi David,
try to rest for a week or two from talking so she can think and realize you’re.not waiting always

Jackie

April 25, 2016 at 12:16 pm

My girlfriend of 6 yrs broke up with me. She’s now in a relationship 2 days after leaving me with her best friend of 10 yrs. It’s been a month now, I have texted and talked to her trying to get her back. She texts me calls me tells me how she still loves me misses me not sure she wants to be with her best friend. I need help how to handle this situation. Is her best friend a rebound? Should I do NC?

EGR Team Member: Amor

April 28, 2016 at 12:07 am

Hi Jackie,

it looks like her best friend is a rebound.. have you talked again now? if she misses you why doesn’t she want to go back with you?
Jackie

April 28, 2016 at 1:21 am

No I stopped talking to her for 3 days now so she can figure out what she wants. I’m trying to see if doing NC for 14 or 21 days is best right now. We never stop talking after we broke up because I was begging and trying to get her back. She said she unsure of coming because she wants to make sure we don’t go thru the constant arguing and fighting that we can actually have decent conversation over the phone. I admit we been arguing since she been away because I’ve been frustrated she hasn’t returned to work on our relationship. Now I have this situation. My ex recently took a part time job out there as well. She told me it’s only because she need money to pay off things right now & to survive while she’s there. She left to go home because her family sick and needs her help. I’m just lost. I love her I just don’t know what to do. She told the mutual friend it’s killing her not talking to me in 3 days and that she doesn’t know if I want her back anymore. Should I continue NC and for how long?
EGR Team Member: Amor

April 28, 2016 at 8:37 am

well at least it helps for her miss you.. if she says she wants to get back, it’s ok to break nc

Anon

April 25, 2016 at 8:53 am

I’ve had an on and off relationship with this girl for two years. She was basically my girlfriend, but we never really had the title. I saw her as my lover, but sometimes I said I wanted to be just friends. It was due to me being unsure of what I wanted and afraid to commit. I admit I made a lot of mistakes. Last month we still liked each other very much, but after one day she went out with friends and she gained interest in another guy. After that day she’s told me she doesn’t feel the same way for me, even though she still let me massage her. She did say she’s afraid the other guy will get jealous, but she still let me. I was frustrated and I explained how I felt, but it only pushed her away more. She still wants to be friends. After days of constantly talking about how I felt and trying to get her back it just made things worse and now she doesn’t want to talk to me, and says she doesn’t love me. She’s seeing the guy, but I don’t think they’re boyfriend and girlfriend yet, but they definitely have something going on. The guy posted a picture of him wrapping his arm around her. I feel like she still has feelings against and is really afraid of going back with me because of what happened in the past and that she found somebody new. However I do think that she’s just in this new relationship right away leaving me so suddenly because she doesn’t want to leave that romantic feeling and she wants to fix her and our issues through this new relationship and that she wants to be provided with the things I couldn’t provide before with this new guy.

I really love her. She’s the love of my life. I want her back and treat her right, the way I should have before. I want to show her I love her and hold her whenever we’re together and be proud to have her around family, friends, and the world. I want make her happy again when she’s around me and make her laugh.

I’ve only been acting this way lately because she gave me a reason to become desperate and hold on to her. I know I should give her space, and that’s what I’m planning to do. I’m going to stop talking to her for two weeks and then text her again about how she’s doing.

I’m a better person than who I was before and am constantly improving. I’m applying to jobs and going to go back to school (I took the spring semester off college). She’s currently a senior in highschool and I’m a freshman in college. The other guy might move away for college so that might break them up, but fall semester of college doesn’t start until august and it’s april right now. I know we’re young, but I truly love her and I see her as someone I can have a future with and possibly marry one day. My older sister married at a young age too and she’s been with the same guy since highschool, my older sister is 26 now.

I really want my exgirlfriend back. That’s my plan, to wait two weeks and hope her new relationship doesn’t grow more, but if it does then I just have to not care. Then I text her again in two weeks to catch up and maybe get a lunch a future date and then slowly build her attraction back to me. Even though I’m texting her in two weeks, a few weeks after she’s going to prom and I asked her to her prom(since i’m no longer in Highschool) with a poster and flowers but she rejected me since she wanted to go with her new guy and she keeps bringing up that we already went last year. So I assume even if I text her in two weeks, a few weeks after she’s probably still going to prom with him and that’s another chance for them to get closer and maybe do things.

But yea that’s my plan, I really love her and want the love of my life back. Any other advice on what I should do? Please help, I really need advice on what I should do.

EGR Team Member: Amor

April 27, 2016 at 11:54 pm

Hi Anon,

since you already told her how you felt.. your plan is good.. and don’t use jealousy tactics for now,, just improve yourself

Steve

April 25, 2016 at 12:36 am

ok < we have been broken up for 17 days, I only went 12 days on the NC rule, she does have a boyfriend. we were at the same bar , when I saw her she asked me for a hug, I asked her if we could go out side and talk. when we went out side , we started hugging and kissing, she also said I looked good and that I was a great kisser. I did lose 10 pounds and started going to the gym I also told her some other positive things I have been doing and that I was doing good since the break up. she knows i am not sitting home depressed. she told me that she is still having a hard time . I was always available , he isn't . She also said I was a big part of her life. She also asked if I met anyone on Match .com yet. I told her I had a date today.

the 12 days ended last night. 4/23/16 So should I try to re do the 14 days or become her friends NOW?

thanks steve

EGR Team Member: Amor

April 27, 2016 at 10:54 pm

Hi Steve,

did you restart count in no contact? she said you were too available for her? If she said that, that means it’s better that you do at least 21 days and don’t chase her.. be really busy during nc, show her that you’re moving on.

bdun

April 24, 2016 at 10:12 am

Hi, i still have feelings for my ex but she has a new boy and when i ask her what i did, she just sayed nuthing but when i insisted she said that she wasn’t feeling our relationship. We sometime meet on the road and we act like everything is okey after some suprise meeting on the road one day she texted me and i replied back and after 1hr of conversation she told me abot her new boyfriend and told me that he is too young and he was just a Family friend but i dint care that much about her coz i knew she was lying but the disturbing part is that, there was this party we met with her and we hooked up she told me that when we met her feelings for me comes live that she feels in love with me but then she wants me to move on coz she love the new boyfriend making me be confused. Pleas advice me on what to do coz i want her back , pliz tel me how . I will highly apreciate it , thanks in advance.

bdun

April 24, 2016 at 10:16 am

Thanks in advance
EGR Team Member: Amor

April 24, 2016 at 10:28 am

Hi Bdun,

first stop the sex because that just makes her feel you’re not serious about her… for now, do you want to do nc?
bdun

April 27, 2016 at 3:59 pm

buh how will i get her back with nc
bdun

April 27, 2016 at 4:09 pm

coz its like one month i hve tried the nc
EGR Team Member: Amor

April 28, 2016 at 8:05 am

with nc.. you should be active in improving yourself.. not just stop contacting her.. if you weren’t active, you should do that first because that will help to give you emotional stability and to increase attraction back..and then after that you will slowly buold rapport and attraction with her through text, and then calls and then meet ups

Alexandr

April 24, 2016 at 8:21 am

I was thinking of asking her for her input on a condo I’m looking at because she studies environmental design. Is that an OK icebreaker?

EGR Team Member: Amor

April 24, 2016 at 10:16 am

yes, it sounds more natural
Alexandr

April 25, 2016 at 4:47 pm

Would you be able to suggest something else? I don’t want to screw up any further this is the first text after a week of her not responding to my last text. The other thing I was going to do was take a picture of this drink we both like and write a score on the message me:1 you:0 because we used to keep score on funny things like that when we first met. Lol. And leave it at that.
EGR Team Member: Amor

April 28, 2016 at 12:38 am

none, just stick to more natural and funny topics
Alexandr

May 3, 2016 at 6:46 pm

So we didn’t speak for two weeks and I was feeling a little better because I met two other girls and are planning dates with both. Something was telling me that when Monday comes around I will message her something. And the weekend before I told my friend I know she will contact me as soon as something starts to happen with either one of these girls.

And then that same day I was going to message her she sent me something about if I can help her design something for her a business card. Because she liked the one I made for my self and she needed it soon too. I told her let’s see what you got and we can work off that. I said I’ll see what I can do then she quickly said it’s OK, “I’ll see what I come up with and show you before I print” I said sure. She also printed a poster for her grad show and said “maybe you can come and see it”. She then just disappears from texting. Why would she ask for my help then say don’t worry about it. I am certain she is still with this other guy.

I dont know what to do now? I still desperately want her back, I know how to be with her, I know what went wrong I just need the chance to meet her and for her relationship to end.

Do I stay in contact with her still and be friendly? I’m sure he wouldn’t like it if we still talked.

I feel like all I can do is wait it out and it really sucks.
EGR Team Member: Amor

May 4, 2016 at 7:00 pm

that’s really how it is because she has a boyfriend.. you have to be present but none threatening.. so if she invites you to come and see her work, go. It’s an opportunity to bond, take it.

Dev

April 24, 2016 at 6:00 am

I’m in a difficult situation. I broke up with my girlfriend. She still loved me, but so much stuff was happening in my life I felt like I had to leave her. I had tons of anxiety and depression, but I never told her about that. We were extremely happy together. We would kiss a lot in public, and we were closer than most relationships. After a while I realized that we were not the same. We would argue and get mad at each other a ton, and that was pecking away at my mental state. Of course i had other things that was influencing my deteriorating state of mind, so I decided to leave her. My mistake was not realizing how much I still loved her. At this time someone else wanted to date me, so she took the opportunity. She told lies to my ex. She said that I told her that she would text herself ” i love you” via my stolen phone. That wasn’t the only lie, but that was the most potent. My ex then got a new boyfriend. I didn’t know, because July (the person who had a crush on me. not the real name) was deliberately making my ex hate me, who cut off all communications with me. The next thing I know, My ex was in the ER. She attempted suicide because of the lies July (not the real name) told her about me. I talked to her, in person, and we straightened things out. But this is when she called me Gabe. I didn’t know who this was. I asked, and she said “Oh… I have a new boyfriend.” This hurt me, really really bad. I asked about him, and she told me. She had done the same things we used to do, but with Gabe. This was only 1 month after we stopped dating. I got really jealous. Then I wanted her back more, for some reason. Now he is all over her Social Media. Snap chat, even Facebook. ( today I saw “In a relationship” posted on her timeline. That never happened to me. I fell like she likes him way more. I was never even mentioned on her Snapchat. Not once.) I started talking to her over facebook. I told her about why I broke up with her in person, worth pointing out. I want to tell her my feelings, but i feel like that wont end out well. Hell, My situation is well put out in the song “Breakeven” by the Script. Any advice?

EGR Team Member: Amor

April 24, 2016 at 10:39 am

Hi Dev,

cut all contact first with the July, when did you last talked to your ex?
Dev

April 24, 2016 at 4:17 pm

2 days ago. i would say was our last “Actual Conversation”.Last time we talked was yesterday

Brr

April 22, 2016 at 8:49 am

My Girlfriend left me after a 5 year relationship because she fell in love with someone else. She started texting him for a few weeks while still being with me. (i found this out later)
The day after she broke up with me she started dating the other guy..
I did the sobbing and crying the first 4 days and had 1 more conversation in person with her, i stayed neutral and just asked for some answers why she ended everything so suddenly and how she could throw away those 5 years just like that.

She said she was happy with me in those 5 years, but the relationship got boring and that she just out of the blue fell in love with that guy. She also mentioned she couldn’t stay with me because of “what if..” and it would destroy her if she would stay with me while she is in love with someone else. She also said “i can’t be with you anymore, the spark is gone and will not return”.
Im 1 week in NC and she texted me on day 4 – “how you doing” and the day after – “guess you dont want to talk to me” i ignored both things even though it was hard, 2 days have passed and she did not text anything else.
I’m confused why she texted me even though she already gotten in a new relationship. Does she genuinely care about me or just want to be supportive to ease her guilt?

My question is, should i stay 14 days of NC or go for the 30 days and then re-initiate contact by sending a text with a happy fun memory of the past we had when we were together?

Thanks.

EGR Team Member: Amor

April 24, 2016 at 7:38 am

YOu should do 30 days, and be active in improving yourself.. She’s in the grass is greener case, so make her see that she chose the wrong guy and make her miss you.. It’s ok that you’re not replying.. after what she did, she will think it’s because of that.

Alexandr

April 21, 2016 at 1:00 pm

Do I give the gift on her graduation or bad move? Flowers and card just saying congrats.

Alexandr

April 23, 2016 at 12:22 pm

Hi amor, curious whether I could send a text out to her, we haven’t spoken for the last week and was wondering if it’s a bad idea or do I have to wait for her?
EGR Team Member: Amor

April 24, 2016 at 7:15 am

you have to build rapport and have positive exchanges first before sending her gifts because it might get awkward.. so, yes, text her 🙂

tony

April 20, 2016 at 10:21 pm

Hi my name is Tony,

I was in a 6.5 year relationship with my girlfriend, she recently broke up with me. She said she was unhappy with me in the relationship randomly. Lets start from the beginning, she decided to join a sorority towards the end of Janurary, i was highly against this deep down, i always had a feeling it would be a bad idea. During her pledging we still did communicate but just barely, and it was harder for me because i cope with seperation differnetly and act a little more isolated. So our chats were short and not as sweet as i normally am. When she finished pledging after a month and a half we met for the first time again and it was different, i knew it right off the bat. Just recently she texted me randomly, shes unhappy… out of no where. She stated shes been unhappy for MONTHS. I was in shock, after her pledging we did hang out, it was great sure. We talked alot more than ever and i thought we were getting stronger if anything. Then she hits me with this…thats what gets me the most because i thought everything was working out perfectly. From my POV i believe shes replaced me with the sorority. Her reasons for leaving me due to unhappiness was because we fight alot(barely), things were routined, and that i wasnt as motivated as her. Things were only routined because she didnt want to do much, everytime we hung out we’d hang in my room and have sex. Sure great, but i get bored too, i always insisted on us going out doing stuff and she didnt really want to do anything i dont know. And motivational wise, shes only one year older than me and she is about to graduate college, im so behind because i just recently decided on what i want to do, so now im more motivated than ever. After the break up we still talked, we had sex one more time agreeing our feelings shouldnt get in the way. Seemed better than ever really. Then last weekend i got drunk texted her some mean stuff, personal stuff about life and it was rough. She blocked me on everything and i felt so empty, BLOCKED ON EVERYTHING. I had use my secondary email to contact her and she replied, shes still hurt and disrespected from what i said i knew i messed up. Keep in mind i treat her like my princess whenever i see her in person. I apologized to her, and now im not sure what position im in with her. What do i do?

EGR Team Member: Amor

April 24, 2016 at 5:37 am

Hi Tony,

Since you’re blocked in everything. Do nc, and actually I think, when you started to withdraw when she was joining the sorority was a factor too.. I think you thought about it too much and then it became a problem but you’re not all to blame ofcourse.. Joining the sorority may have made her realizes that she wanted more experiences,not just in her own life but with her relationship with you as well but she’s not getting it.. Improve yourself during nc.. do the things you’ve been putting off and be active in posting in social media.

Azul

April 20, 2016 at 4:04 am

I want my ex back of 6 yrs. She recently broke up with me because our past history of constant arguing fighting and feeling unwanted. She’s in a relationship a week later of leaving me. We text and talk a lot on phone. She still loves me not over me. She tells me she doesn’t knows if she wants to be with the new guy. I want to show her I changed. Please help. I’m lost on what steps to take of getting her back.

EGR Team Member: Amor

April 20, 2016 at 7:55 am

Hi Azul,

talk to her.. ask her what’s holding her back and then assure her.
Azul

April 20, 2016 at 1:14 pm

I have talked to her everyday or we’ve texted. She says she’s trying to believe I’ve changed. She’s also in a relationship but doesn’t know if she wants to be with him. She says she doesn’t love him like she loves me. She has strong feelings for me. When I have asked her to be single so we can just work on our relationship. She doesn’t want to do that. So I feel she does have some kind of feelings for him but she not being completely open with me. Some of her belongings are still at my place because we stayed together 6 yrs of our relationship. Shes out of town helping out her sick family but she recently told me she accepted a part time job as a server at a restaurant. She says it doesn’t mean she’s staying but she needs to make money while she’s there. She has been away from me for almost 4 months. Please help. I’m lost I love her so much. How can she see a change in me if she’s out of town? Do I just walk away or do No Contact? I don’t want to sit around waiting if she’s happy with him.
EGR Team Member: Amor

April 24, 2016 at 4:38 am

Hi Azul,

that’s right.. you won’t get anywhere just waiting for her.. It’s better if you start no contact.

micheal

April 15, 2016 at 9:58 pm

My x and I were together for 5 years we lived together and were discussing marriage. I dropped the ball though. long story short within a year she is already married but as of the last 3 or 4 months we have been corresponding and occasionally talking on the phone. She has even stated she regretted getting married so quickly. We have hung out alone a few times she has even come to my house a=once and is currently on here way here now. No physical lines have been crossed but im not sure how to handle the situation. We have discuused our faults, the good times, bad times and everything else. Can u help me get some perspective on this situation,

EGR Team Member: Amor

April 19, 2016 at 11:18 am

Hi Michael,

you have to keep distance.. because the truth is she’s married.. she’s about to cross the line, and it’s going to be complicated if you get involved while she’s married..

alexandr

April 15, 2016 at 3:46 am

the other day we actually talked alot cause she was worried she wasnt going to graduate and was telling me she was crying that day, and was so stressed out. I just reasurred her and told her things will work out and some advice on how to make sure she is or isnt failing for sure. She seemed to be better and actually thanked me. she then told me she will show me her latest project when done. and then sent me some random posts about something id find interesting , and told me she went to buy ice cream “the one that you’re mom really likes” and “youre favorite yogurt”. she said. her messages are getting longer in length. instead of the short answers she used to give me maybe a few weeks ago.

Alexandr

April 15, 2016 at 5:16 am

Also she tends to message me at night after 1am should I engage in conversation then, or respond the next day?
EGR Team Member: Amor

April 15, 2016 at 7:22 am

is that because that’s her only time to talk?
Alexandr

April 15, 2016 at 2:48 pm

I am not sure, I doubt it, she is always on her phone. She sends messages at other times maybe around 7 but more conversation in the later hours. She is always up late doing work. She also doesn’t like every post her current guy puts up but he likes all of hers on instagram. I’m not sure how to reattract her rn, all I seem to be doing is being that friend that comforts and reassures her of things. And being positive and supportive. I don’t know if continuing to be this way is helping or hindering my chances.
Alexandr

April 15, 2016 at 3:27 pm

Do I have to wait till things are not going right with her relationship before trying to ask her out? I’m gonna try and slip some more good memory texts next time and see how she responds to that too. And lately I just have this weird overwhelming feeling that I am actually gonna get her back some how, something in my gut, and I got this feeling when she was not responding recently and then she started texting a lot afterwards kinda funny. And I don’t feel as down anymore compared to before.
EGR Team Member: Amor

April 19, 2016 at 9:42 am

it’s the safest way because if you’re too forward, she might end being protective of her current.. you have to maintain attraction though by maintaining yourself and being interesting
Alexandr

April 19, 2016 at 11:38 am

So do I still continue to talk to her and be there for her if she is texting me? She texts me something just about everyday. But it’s just random things, like pictures of her project, or last time was check out this song, which the song clearly had to remind her of this show we watched together I know that had to be why she sent it. When I told her ya it reminds me of that show we watched together she just changes the subject and doesn’t acknowledge it. I’m feeling she is just seeing me as a friend rn and I’m just lost as to how to tap in further, any advice on how I can? Also her graduation is coming up and I wanted to send her a small gift and flowers is that a terrible idea? I so badly want to just send her a text telling her I know exactly where I went wrong and that I know how to be better if we can try again but I realize that has to be done in person right?
EGR Team Member: Amor

April 20, 2016 at 6:37 am

it’s better if it’s done person.. you need to create attraction. Be flirty, continue being busy and posting about it.. SHe needs to find you interesting in order for her to be attracted again, otherwise you will really be friendzoned.

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