3,060 thoughts on “How To Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back If She Has A New Boyfriend”

  1. Coop

    January 3, 2017 at 12:41 pm

    Hey

    We had an almost 3 years long relationship, broke up for the absolute wrong reasons – nothing happened that we couldn’t have figured out eventually but both of us got tired. When we broke up she asked me if this is for good and I said I don’t know. She started to chase me for a month but since I didn’t wanna lead her on I told her to stop, I just wasn’t sure about how I feel.

    She started to date a guy. He seemed awesome at the beginning but it turned out he’s abusive and controlling. We had like a 2 month span when my ex and I avoided each other – I think we can consider that as no contact lol, in that time I tried to analyze my actions and behavior and improve myself both mentally and physically. I started to do other things that I’ve never did before like playing the guitar and origami for example lol.

    Since then we talk every now and then, we had a good streak in october when we met more often and it seemed like she’s getting used to seeing me and having fun, some touches became natural again so it was good. Once she even called me in the middle of the night but I have no idea what she wanted to say – she wasn’t drunk dialing because she would’ve picked up the phone after I noticed she called me. Then they had a fight and ever since then she just ignored me even more and things like that.

    Yesterday I met her to give her a bday present (her birthday is on the 4th but I have to prepare for my exam to get my degree and I have to focus on that). It went all good until she mentioned her boyfriend – I started to call him a d*ck and things like that, I know it was a mistake and we already worked it out, I apologized and stuff. She explained that he’s changed and doesn’t hurt her anymore. I think she just made adjustments on her own so he has nothing to react to in a violent way anymore but I didn’t say it.

    What I found very interesting is that she explained how tough her spot is too. She said she stays in touch with me because she still cares about me and it’s really hard because she never stayed in touch with her exes before when her boyfriend didn’t like it – her boyfriend had forbidden her from talking to me, we talk on a dummy facebook account.

    I think it’d be the best course of action to cut off the talking about the boyfriend (like I promised her when I apologized), trying to comfort her and rebuild the bond in the way we did before november. I remember I didn’t do anything else just acted natural and encouraged her to do her things and I acted like my best self, the person she fell into years ago (it’s not hard, I made changes in my life and I feel like myself once again). I think that lead to that phone call but I when I asked her why she called me, she didn’t tell the truth.

    What are your thoughts on this?

    1. EGR Team Member: Amor

      January 4, 2017 at 10:29 am

      Hi coop,

      yeah, try what you did in November..dont be her emotional confidant regarding her bf because you dont want to be friendzoned

  2. Jess

    January 3, 2017 at 4:46 am

    Heyho,
    I don’t know if you remember my story.. but long story cut short: My gf of 4 years broke up with me almost 1 year ago for another girl. We blocked each other, had fights, blocked each other again and so on and so on.. So I had like 4 months of completely no contact now. I even have a new gf.. and now guess what.. My ex contacts my best friend, asking how I am doing and to ask if I am ready for a friendship with her.. So my best friend didn’t reply. And now I get a frikking happy new years wish from my ex..
    I am confused. I don’t know how to react exactly.. I don’t know if I want a friendship with her in the near future but I know for sure, that I don’t want any friendship if she has still her current gf (she broke up with me because of her) and I don’t know if I still got feelings for her. I would say no but I am really confused now and I don’t know IF I should text her back now.. cause well I dont see any sense in a friendship but I am triggered why she is texting me at all..

    Any advice? :/

    1. EGR Team Member: Amor

      January 4, 2017 at 7:10 am

      Hi Jess,

      you have to stick to your standards.. if she still with her current and you dont want that, dont talk to her.. because it would just get more complicated

  3. Kenny Lee

    January 2, 2017 at 6:02 pm

    Hi!

    *to make sure u guys understand the situation . I and my GF were in a secret relationship bec her dad only believe she can start dating at the age of 25 (we started when she was 20). My best friend and my GF and I runs a production company together. Yet he dk i and my gf were together before we broke up.

    This is going to be very complicated, and idk how to shorten my story. so here it is :

    My girlfriend broke up with me about a months ago and i went through a devastated week. Her reason for the break up is she felt i was too negative to her, she felt depressed and had too much worries for me. And think that i’m always guilt tripping. While the truth is i’ve alot of doubts about her behaviour recently. A few weeks before we broke up, she got drunk , and she hugged, hold my best friend hand and run together. Kissed his cheek and lie on my best friend’s chest for resting while my best friend took care of her in front of me. I buried all the emotion inside because he did not knew that i and my girlfriend was together for 4 years. After that drunk night where she apologize to me for her actions. i neglected her yet i forgive her and told her i need some space to recover especially i had so much doubts with her actions already. The following week she felt like she change into another person and ask for break up and started telling me all the reasons and say she wasn’t feeling love anymore. I break down and quarrelled with her. And say things i shouldn’t had said due to anger. She knew i was saying things because of anger but she eventually used it against me, all my words becomes a reasons for her decision to break up. I was struggling to accept it and thinking it was just a normal break up.

    However, i chanced upon my best friend’s laptop note and found he confessed to my GF a week after my break up. And all the short notes my GF been texting him behind my back. Even when she neglected and blocking me during her stress period before the break up , base on timeline, she was still chatting normally with my best friend and sending him inspiring readings or videos. And i immediately questioned her when i chance upon the note. I asked her whether she is contacting my our best friend before and during the break up. She deny and say no, till i’ve no choice but to screenshot and show her the evidence. She accuse me hacking into her privacy chat till i told it was a note that the best friend saved in his laptop. She told me there nothing going on between them. She was forced and had to tell the truth. And finally i found out she took LSD for the first time with my best friend in the studio and had a bad trip. And she told me it was through the “bad trip” then she realise the how much pain she was in a RS and how unhappy. But the fact was she knew she was depressed, she didnt share with me, and even chose my bestfriend to take LSD with, knowing im fucking against drugs usage to solve problems. My bestfriend knew my gf was depressed yet encourage to take LSD. When i research on the acid, people who had bad trips when they are depressed, it can usually lead to even more exaggerate depth of unhappiness when our RS problem was just not enough communication. And i felt she was left even more traumatised after the “BAD” trip.

    And because of that, i decide to be honest and so did i questioned my best friend who i was sharing the company with, the truth about me and my GF broke up. And ask him how he feel, he then told me he felt bad, and complicated, he understand how i feel. But my gut feelings is telling me that he knew my GF plan to break up and he is being selfish and want to take the chance to be closer to my GF. I couldn’t take the truth, and i had no one to talk to because it was a secret relationship. so i overdose myself with anti depression pills (14-18pills cant rmb) and nearly die if i didnt rush to the hospital and that night was my bday when i was hospitalize. What hurts me even more, was that after i told her i was in the hospital. She straight away told me thats how i wanna guilt trip her for breaking up, her worries and everything that this actions was the final straw. And she left me be in the hospital and left with my bestfriend. Two days later i discharged, they told me they started dating. So much for telling me they concern about me. They expect me to accept it before i could even breathe and recover. The bestfriend i trusted so much, tell me to accept it, and shouldn’t be selfish about them dating, when they think i cant wait till i’ve moved on then they can start dating. They never even consider my feelings, and what kind of motivation will i still have in the studio when i have to face them everyday. While my GF, still guilt trip me by telling me that i’m the one who want to leave the company, nobody ask you to, and i can still work there if i want. Totally no conscience.

    So here’s what frustrating me with, she now told me that she had fallen in love with my bestfriend, and told me she will never want to be with me again. When they didnt care about my feelings or give me time to recover and expect me to be okay with them in the same studio. How fucking hypocrite person they become. I just want to clear my mind and know from a lady point of view of such situation? 🙁

    (1) Do you think they cheating on me before the break up .
    or
    (2) My girlfriend too depressed and was under the influence of drugs that she only see the bad in every good of me. i just have to wait for her to recover.
    or
    (3) She simply really just moved on that quickly, 3 weeks after break up from 4 years RS.
    or
    (4) My best friend just become a rebound Relationship with her? They are getting very closely very quickly together though.

    Lastly ,
    Should i leave my company ? Every friends are telling me staying will be unhealthy for me…

    Should i still wait for her to recover ….though she told me there was no chance of us ever getting back together.

    i feel whatever reasons she come up with was to just cover her guilt and reasons of my anger and being hospitalize became an even better reason to break up. So many things she said don’t fit the holes she created. Making me feel i was the one disappointing her. Please Help 🙁

    1. EGR Team Member: Amor

      January 3, 2017 at 5:45 pm

      Hi Kenny,

      so, how old are you both now? It looks like a grass is greener case. She left you for him. If you can take a leave from the company, take a leave or if you want to resign from the company and start your own then better. it’s too awkward for the three of you and I’m sure you wont be able to focus with them there. If you’re going to do the no contact rule, do a 45 day one. Focus in healing and improving yourself..

    2. kenny

      January 15, 2017 at 6:27 am

      i’m now 25 this year and she will be 23. They eventually started dating and kinda become like a boyfriend and girlfriend thing with my best friend. I mentioned the idea of roping in another mutual friend into the company so i could still motivate myself to continue doing work there, but she selfishly said that i didnt consider how she would feel and how can she adapt to such environment to act like nothing happen in the company when she never even consider how i would feel staying there knowing they are dating or together.. but i have left the company already. just wanna know…
      Is this more of a rebound or “grass is really greener” for her…

    3. EGR Team Member: Amor

      January 15, 2017 at 7:23 pm

      it’s a grass is greener..

    4. kenny

      January 16, 2017 at 6:14 pm

      I’ve a few question :
      – What does grass is greener really meant?
      – Does that mean, she is definitely happier with the new guy?
      – Is her action consider cheating?
      – Does it mean i’m not good enough for her, so she found someone better than me , thats why she left ?

    5. EGR Team Member: Amor

      January 17, 2017 at 10:24 pm

      it’s more the last one..she thinks the new one is better one way or another.. it can be emotional cheating but if she broke up with you before getting in a relationahip with the other guy, techinically it’s not cheating..

    6. kenny

      January 18, 2017 at 11:21 am

      I’m sorry if im asking too much,

      so it means my best friend is a better man than me? And they got straight into RS 3 weeks after broke up.. isnt that too quick for someone to move on? Or you meant to say she already emotionally cheated before breaking up just to secure herself from the torture of breaking up?

    7. EGR Team Member: Amor

      January 25, 2017 at 6:03 pm

      well not better in totality, maybe in one way or another..and unintentionally she started wanting to be with the other guy over time

  4. Karl

    January 1, 2017 at 8:22 pm

    Hello,
    First of all I would like to thank you guys for all the amazing resources available on this website. They sure helped me much understanding my errors and how women think in general.

    I have been friend with a long distance girl for several years now. After some time she was okay about getting closer and closer, texting every day and decided to meet up for real as friends. We had a blast and obviously started to develop strong feelings for each other. As she had a boyfriend already, we decided to stay best friends and planned another trip together.
    Just before meeting again, she broke up with her boyfriend (she was thinking about that for a while now). And after talking it was clear that she was very much into me and wanting more. When we met, we offered each others gifts for Christmas. Though she realized that she wanted back with him. It was very brutal. Probably because I was starting to become too clingy… She texted me good bye after complimenting me a lot about the kind of guy I am. She un-friended me on Facebook but did NOT block.
    Now I realize my mistakes. I lost her as my best friend and I need her emotional support as much as she needs mine for her boyfriend doesn’t care about support.

    Considering her boyfriend doesn’t treat her well, I have no doubt she will want to come back to me again. For now:
    – I don’t want to let her go as we have so many things in common. Be it friends or more.
    – I want her AT LEAST as a (best) friend. We will see later if more is possible. I have started to look for a girlfriend in my region so it helps me rebuilding and I don’t “waste” my time.
    We haven’t had a real conversation for a month now. Except that we politely extra-messaged each other to exchange the pictures we took from our trip and then ignored. I believe she is not angry at all, just ignoring me to “protect” herself.

    1- I have stopped messaging her for a week, though can you tell when is the actual start of the NC considering the “extra” messages exchanged? How long to make it last? I was thinking of a good 45 days? I have already started to rebuild in every way possible.
    2- I am sure about how much important I was to her. Should I wait for her to miss me and text me first? Or should I rather wait the end of the NC and send her a personal letter/message with my apologizes and asking to be only friends?

    Big thanks!

    1. EGR Team Member: Amor

      January 3, 2017 at 1:43 pm

      Hi Karl,

      if you want to be just friends, then continue talking.. if you want a chance of her realizing she should choose you, then risk losing her for now and don’t put yourself in the friendzone.. if she really is happier with you then she has to feel that she could lose you for her to value you.. no contact period starts on the first day of total no contact. no extra messages, no replying to her, no liking, no social media stalking. Just focus in healing and improving yourself

  5. Billy the Kid

    December 28, 2016 at 6:34 am

    So my ex broke up with me, due to distance and other factors. This was early November before the election–and to be honest I think she met someone on the campaign trail. She’s an older woman, 25, I’m 23: and I feel like Dustin Hoffman’s lead character from The Graduate. I know the odds of getting back aren’t good, and I’ve begun moving on with my life and traveling more. She notice; texted back “Safe travels my friend.” At which point being friend-zoned put me in berserker-mode and I impulsively blocked her on social media. She texted, saying I was making her sad, but that she “hoped I was doing well :)” I responded, like an idiot and reassured her that I needed “processing time,” and that my break was due to “self-regulation.” I’ve been in NC since. (During this time I’ve traveled to chile, picked up boxing, and took a standup comedy class). Should I unblock her, re-add her once I heal? We’re both bookworms and I’m up for a literary discussion on the books she recommended me.

    1. EGR Team Member: Amor

      December 31, 2016 at 7:51 am

      Hi Billy the kid,

      yes you should, so you can rebuild rapport with her

  6. Hans

    December 19, 2016 at 4:37 pm

    Hi so i was in this relationship for 5 years were it was great now the last 2 years of the relationship were a lot of fighting and arguing over anything we tought we was the right match for each other. So about 6 months ago i went on a military deployment were we decided to take some space since we couldnt talk often and i was stress out all the time , we were talking on and off in the meantime. Few weeks later i notice she wasnt the same and i notice she was talking to another guy, even tho we werent together we were trying to talk and fix our issues and i was devastaded when i found that she was talking to another guy well eventually somehow she develop feelings for that other dide where she block me from everywhere we didnt talk whatsoever till one day she hit me up and we started talking again she was telling me she was confuse but she found a good guy and she wanted to move on i said allright all good even tho i was extremely hurt ever since then we been talking on and off she says she still got feeling but shes on a relationship with the other dude and she still text me and want me to keep it low key so nobody knows we still talk, when i get back from the tour she would like to meet up in the low key between us and keep it like that so her dude dont find out i know she still got feelings but im confused just like her and dont know what to do, maybe need some advice and find a solution to get her back

    1. EGR Team Member: Amor

      December 31, 2016 at 4:34 am

      Hi Hans,

      when are you going back from military? Do you want to try the advice above?

  7. George

    December 18, 2016 at 4:24 pm

    Hi Chris
    This is a strange one I hope you can help me please
    I have been in a relationship with my wife for 25 years it was a good relationship and we had a lot in common. My wife is a very attractive woman and at the time I met her I thought I got the fairy off of the mass tree so to speak. About five years ago we had a break up but never really parted as I would see her about 3-4 times a week. About 3 years ago she met a fella, but still kept on seeing me during that time they were together, the relationship with him lasted with him off and on about 18 months resulting in it breaking up just about a year ago

    I have been seeing my Ex now for the last 12 months, and spending a lot of time with her and staying over at her house 3-4 nights a week. I have always been very supportive of her taking her to hospital appointments, Doctors; etc and generally spending a lot of time with her even though she still dated the odd guy here and there. But because I wouldn’t commit sexually because of her dating other guys we didn’t really ever get back as a couple.

    I’ve been ok with the arrangement until about three weeks ago when I just felt a bit used and decided to do something about it. So I applied the NO CONTACT RULE to see if I could get her to miss me a little more and realize just what she had in me. Well all seemed to be going ok she was texting me and asking me to see her and I just played it cool .
    Then she asked me to pop in for a spot of lunch and I could see she wanted me to stay but I said I had things to do and left I could see the disappointment in her face and thought the next text was going to be begging me back. But 2 days later she texted me and said that her and the ex-fella had got back together and were giving it another go, I was gutted!!
    She says that she still loves me and always will and she is not dumping me and has made it clear to the other fella that she will still see me for coffee as we are good friends and she wants me in her life.

    At first devastated! I begged her told her that I loved her and wanted to get back with her , but she says she wants to give it a go with this fella. I have stopped making contact and just waiting to see what happens next.

    Any advice please
    G

    1. EGR Team Member: Amor

      December 31, 2016 at 4:30 am

      Hi George,

      how much are you actively improving yourself now?

  8. De-graft Opoku

    December 16, 2016 at 9:23 am

    hi. my ex broke up with me for about 3 months because of a misunderstanding between us that compelled me to slap her. I have done the nc, started building attraction through text and now we have started talking on phone. but the problem is she is having a new guy do I still have a chance to get her back? And what else should I do because I love this girl a lot

    1. EGR Team Member: Amor

      December 31, 2016 at 3:07 am

      Hi De graft Opuku,

      Do you want to try the advice above? And you have to avoid havibg arguments while you’re building rapport and are you still improving yourself?

  9. Neil

    December 12, 2016 at 10:24 pm

    Hi Amor,

    I met my ex at her cousin’s wedding. The thing is, we’ve been dating long-distance for a year now. A week ago, we broke up because a) she lost her feelings for me and only saw me as her best friend and b) she’s now dating a co-worker who has apparently been flirting with her for a couple of months before we broke up. A day ago, her best friend reached out to me and asked me to stay friends with her as much as possible. Her best friend told me that she needed time to be single and that she just wasn’t ready to be in a relationship now. Now the reason why she wants to stay as friends is because she felt comfortable with me and that’s pretty rare for her. So honestly, I’m a bit confused as to what to do.

    After the break up, we’ve spoken every few days, but it’s mostly been talking about what happened. I told her that I need space to sort things out for myself, especially since she was the one that broke up with me. Is the NC period strictly 14 days? I was thinking that I could take a 45 day NC but I’m afraid that would just push her more towards the other guy.

    Thoughts?

    1. EGR Team Member: Amor

      December 15, 2016 at 4:41 pm

      Hi Neil,

      when did you talk to meet? Was it a solid date or you can go about nc and not mention it again? Are you actively improving yourself?

    2. Neil

      December 16, 2016 at 2:08 am

      Hi Amor,

      We talked about meeting up around Dec. 26 but that was before we broke up. I guess one thing I forgot to mention was that when we last talked, she mentioned that she’s now dating her co-worker less than a week after we broke up. I’m pretty sure it’s a rebound because of the fact that she’s been posting their pictures non-stop since we broke up.

      So I’m working on improving myself during the NC period but the thing is, right after I arrived home from my last trip (before the breakup), I made arrangements so that she’d receive a gift on Christmas Eve. I have a feeling that she’ll reach out during while I’m in Vegas. So do I meet up with her if she messages me?

    3. EGR Team Member: Amor

      December 31, 2016 at 2:43 am

      Hi Neil,

      did you meet?

  10. Hank

    October 28, 2016 at 10:14 pm

    Hey,

    I’m Hank, 23 and my exgf is 22, she’s currently dating a 29 old guy.

    We were together from June 2013 until March 2016. We broke up for the wrong reasons and because I told her I need a month without her to get back to my former self which she fell into, if I would’ve felt like I have what it takes to put in effort we could’ve worked things out but at that moment I really needed that break and because of that I have no regrets. After our breakup she tried to win me back but she gave up after a month. When she gave up – I didn’t know – I felt like I’m ready again but I was like a mess, no friends, no purpose, nothing at all, I just missed her. I found out that she met a guy and I believed he is so awesome I’m never gonna have a chance to get my exgirlfriend back.

    It wasn’t long before she tried to reach out to me in a positive, intimate way when she met that guy for the first time. They’ve been together since then but they broke up once in July and yesterday. I suspect they’re back together again.

    When she rejected me in May I totally alienated her. We both tried to avoid each other for a couple months after that, feelings can’t heal so fast and because of the way she handled things really made me feel bad about her. I was really disappointed but it didn’t take so much to find out that all the negative emotions were sourced from the love I always felt for her ever since she came to that party and I opened the door for her. I never threatened her, never tried to cause trouble for her, never tried to harm her in any way even after our breakup.

    So in July I saw her on Tinder. I was surprised because I thought they were gonna be together forever. We liked each other – later she said she did it because that’s what she does with people she knows… I asked her out if she wants to meet and she said not really because she would probably give another chance for her boyfriend. I had no idea how terrible their relationship is.

    Things were a bit awkward after that still and one night we bumped into each other. There was this drama going on between her and her boyfriend. Turned out he not only abuses her verbally but physically as well. I stood up for her that night and tried to protect her. After that she tried to keep some distance from me because we’re not together anymore and stuff like that but we still are in touch on one of my fake facebook profiles and talk on that. She had to block me on facebook because her boyfriend had forbidden her from talking to me, she had to block me on instagram too. We met a couple times since that night and it seems like she’s really having fun around me and she interacts with me like we did when we were together – except there aren’t any intimate touches. She’s not afraid of me hugging her or greeting her with kisses on the cheeks though which isn’t bad I guess. I always hold her hips when we kiss each other’s cheeks.

    She always teases me and everything just like she did when we started dating and during our relationship too. But there’s something that irks me.

    She uses me.

    Last Saturday night we came to a point when she called me for the first time after two months. I couldn’t pick up because my phone didn’t ring and I was at a concert. On Monday she told me in person that she had a fight in public once again with her abusive boyfriend and she didn’t wanna go home alone because she saw a lot of people at one place in town which was in her direction. That day I asked her out to eat out on Friday and she kinda accepted my invitation but we didn’t go out after all, we just had coffee at her place and talked for about 45 minutes.

    When I arrived on Friday she was like “look, there’s a problem. I broke up with my boyfriend yesterday and he said he’s heading here now, etc”. I told her that I’m staying then, there’s no way I’ll leave, I’m gonna protect her. She said that it’s not cool because she was gonna meet her mom downtown and she can’t wait forever and it would be really bad if we left together. I understood but she didn’t tell me if the guy would come so I left anyway because she told me she was gonna leave soon too. After a little while I just knew it for some reason that they sorted things out and their break up didn’t last really long after I left her place which is weird because when I left I kissed her on the cheeks and we hugged each other.

    I love her, she’s the love of my life, I’m never gonna give up to get her back. But I’m getting to a point when I won’t be able to control myself and just burst out to her how I feel. Whenever she rejected my invitations because “we’re not together anymore” I always told her “it’s fine, I don’t want anything like that because of how you treated me after almost 3 years of dating”. And now she’s in this yo-yo relationship with the wrong person. I’m not saying I would be the right person for a yo-yo relationship, all I’m saying is I am the right man for this. I know everything about her, everything about what she loves and what she hates.

    I wanna tell her that I love her and I always have loved her from the second I saw her. I wanna tell her that even though I needed a break from her, I needed it so I would become the person she fell into years ago once again. And here I am, I am the person she used to love. I have friends, a purpose in life, goals to achieve again. Nothing happened between us that couldn’t have been sorted out. I’m here swallowing everything that comes with the thoughts of her being treated well and terribly at times by a person who has direct contact to her and doesn’t know any limits to his own actions.

    I’m never showing her how bad I’m feeling but it’s really hard to bear – sometimes I just crack a joke about her ignoring me for days, like I ask her if I’m writing a diary or something like that but it gets really frustrating.

    I just wanna tell her that I miss everything about her and with our experiences about each other, a nice, long and in depth talk would set us straight in the direction to a happy life. I wanna tell her that she doesn’t have to be afraid because I’ve already accepted the challenge to make things work between us again. And I wanna tell her how much it hurts me that I went from the most important person of her life to just a guy she uses when her boyfriend does something bad because I’m a lot better than that and I deserve a lot better treatment than that, I’m everything that she loves and I can give her anything she needs from a relationship.

    I thought about thinking about my thoughts and elaborating them and telling her everything I feel about this situation in a not needy way but like a man would do and just leave her like that to let her think or something. I thought about blaming her for treating me badly because I’m too good to her but I’m afraid I don’t mean much enough for her to feel sorry if I disappear.

    What should I do in this situation? I’m refusing to give up. Thanks for any advice in advance.

    1. EGR Team Member: Amor

      October 31, 2016 at 1:59 pm

      Hi Hank,
      those are all emotional moves.. it will just make you look like you’re chasing her.. it would be better to just do no contact, look like you’re moving on, improve yourself and the slowly rebuild rapport after no contact

  11. Ryan

    October 28, 2016 at 10:14 pm

    My ex and I had been together for over 3 years back in the end of July, all long distance. She ended up leaving me the beginning of this month because I was too clingy and she said she fell out of love with me. I’m certain it’s a rebound seeing as they haven’t even been together for an entire month yet; they got together the 1st and I found out the 5th. So she’s 18, I’m 19, she’s still in high school, graduates next year and he is 15. I’m not one to put some one else down, age is just a number, but she went in the exact opposite direction. He won’t graduate for 3 years, do i can’t figure out what she sees in him, they made it “official” on Facebook a week ago.

    I agreed to be friends with her, but I know to not offer her the support he’s supposed to or she’ll get the best of both worlds. I met her when she was 15 so I know what it’s like to be in a relationship with a teenager and it’s not easy nor particularly fun at times, so I don’t see what she’s thinking. Last week she said she missed me and I asked her what she meant and she said the good times then immediately brought up how my clingyness was a major turnoff. Everyone I talk to says it’s a rebound and he’s just using her.

    It’s kind of scary, but I think as much time as they spend together one will quickly get sick of the other, either way I’ve been talking to other women, making new friends, working on myself, but every day at least once a day doubt sets in. By the way I did the 14 day no contact that was recommended for rebounds. As crazy as it sounds she and I have never gone an entire week without talking or texting in over 3 years, whenever she’d say something during nc I’d be short with her, including explaining I need time to myself and stuff. I’m planning on moving where she lives at some point soon, I already was and I got really stressed out with trying to find a place and she kept telling me to not worry about it and of course that made me worry and even clingier. Anyway, I’m just taking it one day at a time, she had told me on the phone when she called to gloat about how happy she was that she was being called a pedophile, by who I’m not sure, probably friends teasing her. Wow I put way too much here lol Just really looking for some insight because she’s changed a lot since August and she pretty much stays offline and off her phone, seemingly spending all the time she can with him. It doesn’t help that all her passwords have some form of my name and she’s too lazy to change them.

    Okay so my question is, am I doomed, is it a phase, is she just using this kid as a companion, because she told me he makes her feel happy and safe, nothing in there about love. Is this a high school puppy love romance or should I cut my loses? Thanks a lot.

    1. EGR Team Member: Amor

      October 31, 2016 at 1:52 pm

      Hi Ryan,
      It looks like a grass is greener case.. check this one:
      My Ex Girlfriend Dumped Me For Another Guy…

  12. Peter

    October 27, 2016 at 6:36 am

    Hi

    Quick question, my ex gf of 4 yes left me for good because she thinks I cheated when we had a short split (I didn’t but I can see why she thinks I did). We got back together only a short time. She moved onto a new guy she met while he was on holiday for 2 weeks now they in ldr

    I’m now LD from her too but we chatted for 1st few months, I didn’t beg or plead then things took a downturn she started going on a bit so I got angry, she got angry and it ended in her blocking me on WhatsApp.

    I went nc for 1 month, sent her email saying I accept break up, right decision, apologized for what I did, wished her well and said of she ever needed help let me know. Back to nc

    Now there was no way to contact except email, she had not changed her profile picture on gmail for 1 year, sine my email she changed it 3 times in 10 days knowing I can see it. Pictures not happy just her selfy herself looking straight faced

    What this mean, she also looks my online status on WhatsApp daily we don’t use fb or any other social media

    She hasn’t contacted me I’m still blocked but all of a sudden these profile pics change regularly it can only be for me

    I’ve moved on already but still have her in my head a bit please explain why she is doing this

    Thanks

    1. EGR Team Member: Amor

      October 31, 2016 at 11:57 am

      Hi peter,

      she’s probably portraying that she is moving on ur wants to move on

  13. GR

    October 25, 2016 at 5:56 pm

    Also I´,ve done the no contact phase and know I dont know how to establish contact with her, last time i tried to talk to her (3 months) i got ignored

    1. EGR Team Member: Amor

      October 31, 2016 at 9:01 am

      Hi gr,
      even if you didn’t contact her in the past months, did you improve yourself? if she looks at your profile, would she think you have moved on? and check this one for texts:
      My Ex Girlfriend Doesn’t Reply To My Text Messages…. Why?

  14. GR

    October 25, 2016 at 5:53 pm

    Hey, im in a need of help..
    Me and my x broke up 8 months ago and i did a lot of very bad stuff and thats why she broke up with me, and after the breakup I did a lot of mistakes, I conctantly send her messages, did a LOT of pressure and what not, she got tired and blocked me, now she moved on and 3 months after the break up she got another date/// she now unblocked me, but idk if I still have a chance? and if I have what do I say to make her get interested in me again if shes dating another guy in the last 4 months or so? ah and also she sended a message to my number saying “who is this?” and i didnt answer
    Please help me, what do I say, how do establish a friendship with her again if she just cut all connections between us…

    1. Joe

      November 15, 2016 at 12:22 am

      The whole thing is you have to better yourself. Don’t sit and sulk. Hit the gym. Be a better guy than you were

  15. Michael

    October 21, 2016 at 1:54 am

    My girlfriend broke up with me after 2 and a half years of being together. The reasoning that she gave me was that she has fallen out of love with me. Now we share mutual friends and one of those friends is the person that she went to in which to air her grievances. After her conversation with our friend she told me how she was feeling the very next day and thats when she broke up with me (17th September 2016). 

    She mentioned to our friend that she’s been talking to another guy and has even had lunch with him, one of those conversations ended with him stating that he “doesn’t want to be a rebound” so I feel my ex was flirting with him. The few nights before she ended things were my brother’s and his fiancés bachelor/bachelorette party’s. There was a time in the night where I texted my gf and asked where they were because we all wanted to meet up, now our friend has since said to me that my ex contacted her that night after I asked where they were saying “He wants to know where we are, I don’t want to see him, touch him or kiss him at all.” Now my ex has since told me that she had temptations to talk to other guys and thats why she felt that she was falling out of love. 

    So to move on to my current situation, it has now been a month since the breakup and the last few days have been hard. My ex has told me that she has indeed moved on to someone else and has been “seeing him” for the last two weeks. Now this new guy is not the one that she was talking to before we broke up, she only met him a few weeks ago. Now it has broken me that she has moved on so quickly and i am afraid that she will end up falling for this guy. That conversation did not end well and ended up swearing at each other and calling each other every name under the sun.

    Her brother has been in contact with me and has mentioned to me that he still sees a future for me and her and that this new relationship of hers is only temporary which i guess is a good sign which is also why I have come across your site and have contacted you because I too feel that there still is a future for us. 

    Our last point of contact was Tuesday afternoon (18th October 2016). She asked me “what do I want in life” and after I answered she said “I just can’t be the person you want to be happy with”.

    1. EGR Team Member: Amor

      October 24, 2016 at 2:49 pm

      Hi Michael,

      aside from the advice above, I think you need to read this one too;
      My Ex Girlfriend Dumped Me For Another Guy…

      I know she didnt actually broke up with you for a specific guy..but that’s kind of like it is because she wanted to experience a new relationship..

      are you in nc now?

    2. Michael

      October 25, 2016 at 8:43 am

      Yes I’ve started no contact

    3. Michael

      October 25, 2016 at 11:16 pm

      Yes I’m in no contact now

    4. EGR Team Member: Amor

      October 30, 2016 at 3:11 pm

      that’s good.. you need to improve yourself.. let her miss you.. be different than the guy she used to know.. well not really totally different, just let her think you’re not going to chase her anymore

  16. PG8969

    October 20, 2016 at 8:52 am

    I was in a relationship with my colleague for about a year during which period i tried to stall our relationship twice because i was unable to balance my private family affairs(things were bad at home) and giving her the ample time and support she deserved. After we patched up for the 3rd time, she had felt that i’m not the same guy anymore, who worries a lot, over-analyses all situations and doesn’t feel the same way as she feels for me. During this same period, a mutual colleague started seeing her and she started developing feelings for him till one day she told me that we are over but didn’t inform me of her new found love. Initially i accepted it but a few weeks later i really started missing her badly in my life and wanted to make it up to her at all costs. But suddenly one day i got to know of her relationship through someone and felt terribly upset, frustrated and even emotional. To make matters worse, i argued with her on texts that she should have informed me and she is probably in a rebound and all those stupid remarks..I really miss her and want her back in my life but she seems to be enjoying her new life. I feel extremely happy for her but i am gutted at myself for having let her go..i am having trouble concentrating at work, avoid going out with my friends and am having emotional breakdowns every now and then…Any support would be appreciated

    1. EGR Team Member: Amor

      October 24, 2016 at 2:25 pm

      Hi Pg8969,

      that’s good that you’re going out with friends.. are you going to follow the advice above?

  17. Hayden

    October 19, 2016 at 4:53 pm

    my ex girlfriend and I broke up about 10 months ago after dating long distance (8 hours) at different colleges for a little over 2 years cause she said she wasnt in love with me anymore but she will always love me no matter what. we talked off and on for a few months, eventually hooked up a couple times over the summer. Then we both went on vacation and she came back having met someone and quit talking to me. We quit talking for about a month before she contacted me again saying she wants to be friends. She also told me that she wasnt kidding when she said one day we’ll end up back together. Turns out this guy she has been talking to has just started law school in his hometown which is 2.5 hours from where she goes to school. We talk as friends for a few weeks and she keeps telling me she doesnt know how far they are gonna go and how different they are but he treats her well. She also told me that i fucked her cause nobody has treated her as well as i did. Recently we just happened to be going back home to visit our families the same weekend as each other. So we agree to hang out again. When we were hanging out it was like it was old times and nothing had changed. I messed up and told her how i felt about a week later and how miserable seeing her with him makes me. She says that they are just “hanging out” but there is potential for them to fall in love. I asked her why she wanted to be friends and she said cause she felt like we left off in a good place and she missed me. She said she doesnt want to hurt me anymore and if not talking to her makes it easier on me then thats ok. I told her i wasnt sure what to do because i want her in my life but it kills me seeing her with him. She said take some time and figure it out. Did i mess up big time?

    1. EGR Team Member: Amor

      October 24, 2016 at 1:47 pm

      Hi hayden,

      i dont think you messed it big time.. Are you in nc now?

    2. Hayden

      October 31, 2016 at 7:50 pm

      yes i am in no contact now

    3. Hayden

      November 1, 2016 at 8:00 pm

      she just texted me after a week of no contact. “hey hayd. I hope youre doing well.” what should i do?

    4. EGR Team Member: Amor

      November 4, 2016 at 3:15 pm

      Don’t respond.. You should focus in improving and healing yourself.

  18. Zach

    October 17, 2016 at 3:19 am

    I was with her for a year and a half. I’m 24 she is 18. We obviously had to hide our relationship from her parents for most of the time, we made the best of our situation, initially the first 14 months we were madly in love, normal ups and downs mostly to hiding the relationship and not seeing each other as much as we would like. But I made it clear to her that “she is worth waiting for, she is everything I had been looking for in a woman, I’m the luckiest guy in the world and proud to say I’m your boyfriend.” Mind you she had met my whole family and closest friends. The remaining months were very rocky, highs weee extremely high and lows were worst arguments we’ve ever been in. One of my old exs facebooked messaged me and she saw that I replied with this exactly “yes” that’s it. She looked at this as cheating and was not okay. She dumped me and not even 3 days later she was “hanging out and seeing.” One of her guy friends that she claimed I didn’t have to worry about and I never did. I’ve started no contact (3 days in) the brake up happened 2 weeks ago and we had talked every other night until I started no contact. I do want her back but having trouble where to start

    1. EGR Team Member: Amor

      October 17, 2016 at 2:33 pm

      Hi Zach,

      what was the last thing you talked about? The guy is more likely a rebound. .

  19. mazurki

    October 16, 2016 at 2:12 pm

    OK so after reading my story you’ll probably think there’s definitely something wrong with me because I sure as hell feel that way.
    I’ll keep it short.

    I was together with my ex for 4 years and fell madly in love with her. We broke up when I was 22 and she was 20 and even though were young it was the real deal. I cut off from her for about 6 months after that coz I was heartbroken and thought it was the best thing to do. We did keep minimal contact here and there but I tried my best to hate her to make myself feel better. After about a year of minimal contact we started hanging out again. I knew it was more of a friends thing but it was good to have her back in my life. I decided that even though I still loved her and it was going to be hard to just be friends, it was better then not having her in my life at all. The years roll by and we keep a close friendship, meet up maybe once a month and hang out just the 2 of us. In the past couple of years we’ve been to weddings together, bars, movies, festivals and those kinds of things. We hooked up once when drunk but only once. So basically nowdays were ex’s that have a special kind of friendship that’s lasted longer then the relationship did. When we hang out its like old times and we have a great time, but I can’t look at her as just my friend and there’s always a part of me that still really loves her. So I’m 28 now and she’s 26. We talk at least a few times a week and hang out about once a month. I guess I want to keep her around because number 1 I want her in my life and number 2 I figure there has to be some reason we’re still close all these years later and maybe someday we’ll realize that it. This theory has been backed up by the fact that she’s hasn’t really had a boyfriend since me… until now. I jump of facebook earlier today and bang, there it is. she has a new bf. My heart sank. I mean it’s not like she hasnt hooked up with other guys just the same as ive hooked up with other girls, but her having a bf now seems like a big deal to me. Soo any advice please!! How stupid would it look if I just cut off her now?? Obviously she’d know why. I dont exactly want to be ”that guy” who cant seem to get over his gf from 6 years ago. It is possible that she has just seen me as a friend for the past few years?? Honestly, and I’m just not grasping at straws here, the way she interacts with me and and the looks she gives me really make me think that she feels theres something still there but its just easier keep on doing what we do, talk alot and be close friends.
    So its either I just casually start ditching her when she wants to hang out (she made plans with me 2 days ago) OR I pretend it dosnt bother me and we don’t talk about it OR I tell her us being friends isnt really going to work now with her having a bf OR I stick it out in the hopes that she’s realises shes always loved me and im the only one for her lol.
    But I would really like to know this. It is possible that she’s so over me and has been for ages that being close with me now is no differnt then being close to any other guy friend??
    Really wish I didnt love this girl, but cant seem to move the fuck on.
    Thanks for listening.

    1. EGR Team Member: Amor

      October 17, 2016 at 1:55 pm

      HI Mazurki,

      It looks like there is still something with the two of you but you were too slow for her.. How often do you see each in a month nowadays? And how often do you talk to each other?

  20. Michael

    October 15, 2016 at 3:11 am

    Hey guys,
    So this is kind of a sticky situation. So my girl, well ex now, have been together for nearly a year. She’s crazy, but the good kind and I honestly fell in love with it hardcore. At first we were great, everything was awesome. The dates, the adventures, and I lost my virginity to her. About halfway thru the relationship, we started fighting a lot but making up real quick because we knew fighting wasn’t worth our love. We broke up a few times, only twice for a very short time. But one of the times she met and made out with this guy. Just keep that in mind. Fast forward to august, we were finally at the same college together and our future looked bright, only one problem: I didn’t have many guy friends and I knew a fraternity was a good way to do so and I have friends who say they love it. But my girl didn’t like that and said if I did we’d break up. Well, I did it. I joined in hopes that I could keep her around and the fraternity. I joined because I lost a lot of close guy friends. But Nope. Only way to get her back was to drop the frat. Well now it’s been nearly a month since we broke up. And I’m dropping the fraternity because I don’t like it at all. And for her. And I’m dying for her back. I told her I dropped and everything but she said it might be too late because she’s now about to date that guy she met mentioned above. But he goes to school two hours away from us. She said she’s always gonna have a soft spot for me. We still see each other around school but I can feel the tension. I want her back so bad but I’m afraid I messed up big time. But I will do anything to get her back. I really see a future with her. She even said she can still see us getting married even though there’s a new guy. But I’m not banking on that obviously. I’m not giving up till I win her back. As mad as she is at me, I know there’s something there for me still. Any advice? I’m breaking down without her.

    1. EGR Team Member: Amor

      October 15, 2016 at 9:18 am

      HI Michael,

      do you want to do the no contact rule?

    2. Michael

      October 15, 2016 at 5:23 pm

      It’s been almost a week since no contact. It’s killing me. I want her back so bad. I saw them together last night and it tore me to shreds.

    3. EGR Team Member: Amor

      October 17, 2016 at 11:13 am

      Stay strong Michael.. and keep improving yourself.. Give the other guy a good competition

    4. Michael

      October 17, 2016 at 3:48 pm

      How do I give him a strong competition though?

    5. EGR Team Member: Amor

      October 19, 2016 at 8:52 pm

      Improve yourself.. You had memories together, so that’s your edge.. but you need to improve yourself in the health, wealth and relationships aspect of your life.. Work out, excel in your career or add on new skills and do new things to make new friends and widen your world.

  21. Dave

    October 11, 2016 at 4:13 pm

    Hey, I could use the help, I’ll jump right in.

    We had been dating for 2 years prior to this.

    2 weeks ago my ex broke up with me, The reason she gave me was that we never did anything together, I took her for granted. I can believe it, looking back, It was all roses and sunshine at the start and then I just stopped giving her the attention i should have. On top of that, she was becoming good friends with a guy she works with.

    Here’s where I think my problem lies.

    She is alot better at this than me, she seems cool, calm, collected and happy without me.
    I’m non of those things.

    Now when we broke up, we met in person, we both got upset, I asked for he back, pleaded a little, we decided to stay friends.
    Now fast forward a few days, we agreed to go to a fair together with a friend. we went, I’m terrified of rides but I went on all of them, she knows I have a fear of them, we had a great time, at one point when we got off a ride she took my hand and we walked back to our friend. during the time at this fair she was texting alot and on the way to the car she was in a rush, I thought about it and I figured she must be picking someone up from somewhere. Anyway. the next morning I woke from a nightmare at around 4am, couldn’t sleep so i walked to her house got there at around 6am, knocked but there was no answer so i tried the door, it was open so I let myself in(I was a fucking mess) Anyway I went upstairs and confirming my suspicions the guy she knows from work was in bed with her, Now obviously she was angry I let myself in, I tried to explain I was upset and I wanted to talk to her, I again pleaded for her back, she denied me obviously, told me she felt bad id come all this way, I told her i didn’t want to stay friends anymore because its painful, afterwards I went home and i haven’t spoken to her at all in around 4 days. I do have to go get mail from her house at some point in the next few weeks, My passport too(I left in a rush) Idk if I can fix this whole mess? But I do still want her back if at all possible, Any help is welcome. Thanks.

    1. EGR Team Member: Amor

      October 15, 2016 at 8:18 am

      Hi Dave,

      it’s ok to talk to her during no contact about your things, as long as it’s only about your things.. Focus in improving yourself for yourself.. so that whatever happens, you’re ok

  22. Rahul

    October 9, 2016 at 6:54 am

    Hi im rahul my ahe is 18.. my ex is bigger than by 2years..we dated for almost1 years…she love me truly so did i.. a good bond has been created beteen us… Like now she cant leave me at any cost… Nor do i.. bt suddenly a fight happened and we broked up…a gap took between us for 4 months… And den after few months she asked shoud i wait or move on… And i told to move on.. later she came to an relatioship with a guy in her college only… At first they were dating for 3-4 days nd she broked up with him by saying dat she loves me…bt again she came in relationship with him nd for 1month… Bt im like now jealous…i loved her truly… Nd i want her back i tld her…even she told me that she love me too bt now she have a bf… She told me dat she knows dat she doesnt have a future with him… Coz after 2months he will be gng to orrisa..and dat she cant keep long distance relationship with him… Nd she will broke up with him… Nd will be with me for sure… She is confused between me and her bf… Wen i tld her to leave him… She says what will everyone think abt her..dat shes a character less girl… ???? I tld her dat can we meet ..nd she told yes we can meet.. i tld her if he we start meeting again… I am sure you will be mine again…and she told yes ! Please Help me with this…. What should i do ? To win her back ?????

    1. EGR Team Member: Amor

      October 15, 2016 at 8:00 am

      Hi Rahul,

      how are you now?

  23. Jonas

    October 4, 2016 at 8:28 am

    Hello. me & my girlfriend broke up 2 months ago. we were in a long distance relationship for nearly 2 years. she never told me the reasons for the breakup, just that the distance killed it for her and that there was another guy.
    I found out recently that she is probably with that other guy now and broke up with me to start with him.
    She tends to initiate contact still, wants to know how i am, and also asks if we can skype from time to time (with cam) to catch up.
    Its confusing me, because she refers to the guy as her “friend”. it feels like she is trying to hide their possible relationship from me. they visit each other’s house, the guy’s parents know of her already, so it looks kind of serious, but she still hides it from me for some reason. to avoid drama? to not hurt me? she believes that i am over her and that there is no remorse so she can move on, yet she still likes to talk to me. she’s always happy to see me when we skype and we always have fun when we talk.
    I dont really know what she wants at this moment, and i dont think she really knows what she wants either. she wants to stay friends, but she is hiding things from me and i dont know why, since she thinks that there’s nothing between us anymore. there’s just mixed signals, she always laughs if i make jokes, and smiles whenever we say goodbye. she is most likely with the guy, but still wants to be in contact with me. is it really just to be friends or is it more? i know her true reasons that she lost interest in me, so im confused as to what she wants. i did some NC before, and after we fixed the communication between us a bit. i wont ask her yet to visit her, considering she might not like it since she is with the guy now. i dont know if i am building attraction to her again, is there any way to see this?

    1. EGR Team Member: Amor

      October 15, 2016 at 6:15 am

      Hi Jonas,

      if she wants to keep talking to you and.see you, that means you’re gaining attraction

    2. Jonas

      October 17, 2016 at 9:51 am

      Hello Amor, thank you for the feedback. What do you think would be the best idea to go on from here? right now we tend to stay in contact every few days (both initiating contact, but her more if i dont) and when she has time (because she is working in two jobs at the moment) she wants to skype. in order to build more attraction again, should i continue it like this and see how it goes with eventually maybe asking if i can come over to her? (other country)

    3. EGR Team Member: Amor

      October 17, 2016 at 3:13 pm

      yes, you should continue building rapport with her.. whenever you’re talking make it fun.. And whenever you’re not have fun in your own life, be active in social media.. That way you keep being interesting for her.

    4. Jonas

      October 24, 2016 at 7:44 am

      Hello Amor, unfortunately she does not check her social media very often, so the only real contact she has with me is through whatsapp or skype. I skyped with her last monday and we had alot of fun, and then there was silence until i initiated contact again yesterday, we texted a bit and told to each how we were doing the last days, and then she left for work. i sent another text later that night, saying that i forgot to tell her some things that i didnt say on that previous moment, but she didnt reply to it (she saw the message though). i need to keep building rapport with her, but how do you think i would be able to do that? since she does not check her social media often and doesnt seem to initiate contact again just yet.
      Should i just wait for her to initiate again? i dont know how i can keep being interesting for her if we barely know whats happening with each other.

    5. EGR Team Member: Amor

      October 24, 2016 at 5:17 pm

      well if that’s the case, it’s ok to talk in skype and whatsapp, it’s ok to initiate as long as you end it in high point.. when you said you forgot to twll something and she didnt reply, she is probably waiting for you to say it..

    6. Jonas

      November 12, 2016 at 12:30 am

      Hello Amor,
      It’s been a while, but i feel as though i havent been able to make alot of progress. we still talk every few days, sometimes there’s a rare occasion where we talk and skype a few days in a row (happened last week) and she is generally interested everytime we talk how i am and we tend to talk about random things. I followed some of your advice and when i had to be alone at home for a while, I started cooking and posted it on my facebook. during the week that i cooked for myself, she liked a few of the pictures i posted, so it seems i made her become interested in what i was doing. But that is not what concerns me though. in terms of making progress, the goal is to get her to show more interest in how i am doing in my life and keep building rapport and such, to which then the contact between us should increase? (just a thought) it hasnt yet, but am i able to see any more signs from this that she is getting more and more interested in me? she is kind of a hard nut to crack sometimes in finding out what she means or does. during the skype calls we laugh alot and tell each other how we are doing (as we pretty much do everytime) and towards the end of the conversations we greet each other goodbye and gives me a smile while i close the call.

      In conclusion: i feel there might be something deep down inside her still, but she does not want to commit, considering she might have a new relationship already or not, yet she shows small signs of interest everytime we do talk. i will keep doing what im doing, but i dont know when i can see that im making progress.
      Thank you
      Jonas

    7. EGR Team Member: Amor

      November 14, 2016 at 3:13 pm

      yes, you have to keep talking to build rapport but inorder for somebody to be interested in you, you have toshow interest or value in what they do and there has to be something about you or what you do that is great and interesting for her

    8. Jonas

      November 17, 2016 at 8:37 am

      I show interest in her life pretty much everytime we talk, and give her compliments when it is appropriate. she asks about my daily life aswell, so she is interested in how i am going through my days, and when i cooked those meals, she also looked very interested in that. so it is going better than it was a few months ago. imho it is harder to show that i’ve changed for the better to her since we are so far apart. i will keep building rapport like always and see how it goes, its just that the longer it goes on, the more i think about what i can possibly still change about myself that would interest her more. thinking of a relationship with her again, its going to have to be something about the distance between us again and how to deal with that.

    9. Jonas

      January 2, 2017 at 7:50 am

      Hello Amor, it’s been a long time since i last put something here, but i do so now because i feel miserable with what happened.
      Everything was seemingly going ok, we still talked very regularley, shared pictures and still skyped, and then the holidays came. We stopped skyping because she seemed to avoid it but we still talked through whatsapp alot, so i didnt really see if there were problems. new year passed and we wished each other another good year, but last night, when i was about to sleep, she texted me with the question of i still liked her. Ofcourse i was kind of shocked as to why she suddenly asked me this, so i asked her for the reasons she suddenly asked me this.
      Apparantly it turns out that she is getting in trouble with her boyfriend because we are still speaking. not because we are just speaking, but because we speak to each other in a “sweet” way, the way we ALWAYS talked to each other, before & after our relationship.
      she told me that she feels like she is giving me hope while she didnt really meant to do that.
      I remained honest and told her that i still liked her, and asked her what she really wanted from me. she did not reply for a bit, so i told her that i went to sleep and that i would hear it tomorrow.
      I have yet to receive an answer to that but later today i will ask to continue our conversation, since we did not finish it.
      What am I supposed to take out of this? I fear that because of her boyfriend, she might close off and not speak with me anymore because she will get trouble with him.
      She just continues to confuse me, because during the holidays when we texted, she told me places she went to and that “when i come over”, we could go there aswell. she keeps saying “when you come over”, giving out somewhat of a hint that she is interested in me coming over. However, i do not know what to think of that, considering if i really go there, i dont know what will go on between me & her boyfriend.

    10. EGR Team Member: Amor

      January 3, 2017 at 2:50 pm

      not to say that it was wrong that you told the truth, but expect her to distance herself now. Use this time to make her miss you.. if she doesn’t reply, improve more and date others

    11. jonas

      January 17, 2017 at 12:19 pm

      Hello Amor,
      so this is a small update on what followed after that night.
      The very next day she wanted to talk to me and explain what exactly was happening. We went on skype and we discussed that he had problems with the fact that i was still talking with her in a more friendlier way than it would seem. normally thats something that you would want, right? that there is friction between her & her new boyfriend. we discussed further and she said that she does not want to stop talking with me (because she likes to speak with me) and that he needs to respect that. she told me that she doesnt want me to disappear from her life. you would think that this is great news, amazing even, and i really felt like it, however, she continued, saying that even though she rlly liked to talk with me, she didnt like the fact that she maybe was playing with my feelings because (red alert) “she only sees me as a friend”.
      Ofcourse i am thinking to myself “she just told me she only sees me as a friend, so that means that all chances are over?”
      according to the guide written above, the best step is to become her friend again, although it feels like i’ve been friendzoned very hard.
      After the discussion we started talking about randoms things, how our families were doing and everything, so the mood settled a bit.
      We remain in contact of each other every few days again, asking how we are doing, though i mostly let her do the initiation, since she has to miss me in a way, and we still skype when contacting each other. Am i going back towards making more rapport, or do i have to take it in a different way because of her new boyfriend now?
      Thank you,
      Jonas
      (P.S.: they are together for about 2 months now, and she never told me because she felt like she would hurt me, so she believed not saying anything would be better, after finally confessing on that discussion that she had a boyfriend, i askedhow she felt. She said that she felt bad for saying it, because the one thing she doesnt want to do is hurt me.)

    12. EGR Team Member: Amor

      January 17, 2017 at 10:59 pm

      start dating others.. if she really friendzoned you be less available

    13. Jonas

      January 18, 2017 at 10:20 am

      Hello Amor,
      Just something off topic that i would want to know.
      She friendzoned me obviously, but if we skype, usually at the end of the call she tells me that it was good to see me again.
      Do you think she might be saying that to keep me around so i dont “disappear” from her current lifestyle?

    14. EGR Team Member: Amor

      January 25, 2017 at 5:46 pm

      can be.. because of course if she friendzoned that means she wants you around because that’s what she’s used to

  24. James

    October 3, 2016 at 1:02 am

    Hey
    Back in July I had to go on a month long trip and leave my girlfriend. While I was gone we broke up because of the time apart. When I got back I discovered she was dating someone new. She didn’t know him well and it confused me because of the great connection we had only days before. As time went on I gave her space and she would constantly ask me to hang out. At the same time we kept sleeping together even while she was in a relationship! When we hung out she would tell me about how she still has feelings for me and isn’t very comfortable with the new guy but that she still waned to give him a chance. This angered me but I did not show it and I started the no contact. After a week, she texted me and asked to hang in which I failed and responded with yes. It went well and she still talked about the feelings she had. But again I left without her and her still dating this new guy. I decided I would not break and I would start the no contact. It has been exactly two weeks and I haven’t heard from her and as usual I have doubts that aren’t true but are hard to control. I wanted to know if I should continue no contact until she breaks up with her boyfriend and comes back to me or should I start being her friend once again and see if we could start hanging out more and more until she is ready to break it off.
    Thanks
    James

    1. EGR Team Member: Amor

      October 14, 2016 at 6:28 pm

      Hi James,

      have you been talking again?

  25. Jason

    October 1, 2016 at 3:54 pm

    I have a really bad situation and I do not think it can be saved. Background, this girl was madly in love with me for four years. I held off on getting married because I was not ready, but gave exscuses. She got mad at that. Then I went to training for a new job and had to stop talking to her because she was dragging me down so bad and then training was hard. She then go tback with a high school boyfreind who had secretly got engaged to somone else and never told her until her dad told her of the engagement.
    She told me about him and I thought he was just a freind until I found a post on her facebook saying how he loved her. I was pissed and she took it down and said she was seeing him becasue he wanted to marry her. Since then we have been on and off and she cant decide. We still have not officially broken up.

    I am really pissed off about this, but I love her so much I dont want to lose her. I did a brief no contact of three days from another site that said to break it if she contacts you more than three times. She did that in like two days. She told me she loved me and misses me, but she waivers so much.
    She was mad at me because we didnt get married quick enough. This new guy is a old high school sweat heart who chose someone else over her. That marriage failed so now he wants her and is moving quickly. I just saw they are now engaged and when I was last at her place I saw she had prenatal vitamins. I know this is a worse case scenario. I live long distance as does this other guy. When we got together two days ago for dinner she was really happy and upbeat. I know its a risk for her to be out with me, she didnt hold my hand but she was walking close. Then when I spent the night at her place I slept in her bed with her. We didnt hook up, but still spooned and all. The next morning we fought about our relationship right before her work. Then I had a last minute change to my schedule that would have let me stay longer but she said no I had to go because she had plans with a friend who’s dad just died. On my drive home she texted and called often and we talked and laughed even though we fought badly that morning about our relationship. It feels very unsettled to me and I want to end it, but hate doing it over the phone because I have a lot to say. This guy is a total step down for her and I am shocked that its even a competition. Can I use our quasi state to my advantage? I have a feeling if I end it and go NC for a month that will drive her to him permanently. They are moving so fast but nobody in her family likes this guy and she has to give up so much for him. Thoughts?

    1. EGR Team Member: Amor

      October 14, 2016 at 12:17 pm

      Hi Jason,

      why is she taking prenatal vitamins?

  26. Mark

    September 28, 2016 at 11:03 am

    So it’s been 2 months since the break up and she was hot and cold towards me for weeks. So i did a 12 day NC and she reached out, said that she wanted me in her life and felt that it was awful not being able to write or call. I replied and we had a great conversation.

    One week later without any contact she removed me from all social media sites.

    One more week goes by and i reach out to her and asked her how everything could be this crazy between us. She called me 12 hours later, she was really upset, said that she wanted to text me the whole week but her new boyfriend of 3 weeks have been forcing her to cut all contact with me. She told me that they have been fighting alot. Said she didn’t have any real friends to talk to and was afraid how he would react when he knew she had been talking with me. We talked like we never had broken up, a deep connection. But the last thing she said to me was “i don’t know if you ever hear from me again” One hour later she texted “I have moved on, it’s best if we cut all contact. i hope you find someone who makes you happy, good luck with life”

    Do you think this is over? or can i make a comeback?

  27. Ashraf

    September 25, 2016 at 11:52 am

    Hi.
    i had 8 years relation with my girl she from russia we met first time after 3 years of our introducing . we were in strong love and we were planing to live togather after her son will be 17 years . i changed her life she was divorced when we introducing she said that i helped her to finish study and i took her from drak life to light then something happend and we could not meet for one year and half she always came to visit me in my country .she said that in first one brought her flower and gold ring and suddly she left me and introducing with man from russia but he lives far and she said she tired to be alone in russia she need man beside her . and brokeup with me and then she return back to me after 3 monthes she said he lie on her and did not come to live with her in her city she left him and back to me then we stay one year and i was planning to visit her and take her in trip to another country and in may 2016 she brokeup again without telling me i found out that she introducing with man from her city and blocked me on imo viber and not reply my sms . and one week ago i wrote sms about first date we met next day she back me on imo read my text and then delete it again . i tried to call her before did not answer but two days ago pickup my calling but i could not talk just listen to her voice. one woman said to me that maybe she did not love you during years she was act coz she wanted someone feel her she is needed and loved coz no one look to her in russia . and with frist one in her city try contact she left me if she loved me she was not leave me . is that woman right and is really woman can act love for 8 years ? and all this monthes i can not forget her always thinking and want to get her back . she not live with new man still live with her family . advice me what to do

  28. Kevin

    September 24, 2016 at 6:37 pm

    Just wondering if your program can help me. My Common law wife dumped me In the middle of August. It’s been six weeks now and we still live in the house together. She won’t admit to cheating on me with a guy that she works with and has been spending a lot of time with him. She tells me that they are just friends and I have caught her in many lies. She doesn’t come home much and staying somewhere that I don’t know of. One minute She will be nice and text me saying she won’t be home. Or to tell me something else. Then the next minute she treat me bad trying to start a fight. Or accusing of something that I didn’t do.
    We were together for six years and I still love her and want her back but we still live together. Can your program help me….thank you

  29. Manfred

    September 23, 2016 at 11:26 am

    Hi Amor (I think…),

    After 3 months of hard work on getting my ex back I am seeing huge progress. Lately I had two meet-ups with her. The first was a casual coffee, during which we talked about positive memories and the great things that happened to us in the months apart. The days after she did not stop texting me, and restarted conversation every time I let it stall. She started asking ‘what if’ questions, about what I had done if she did not have a boyfriend (rebound) and what I would do if she broke up with him. A few days later we got together for some work-related thinks, and decided to have a meal together. This time the conversation went to a more deep level: the ‘what if’ subjects. We really bonded and she told me that where she had so much in common with me, she has almost nothing with him.
    Long story short, I think I have reached the ‘confusion’ described in this article above. Though this is a good thing, I am not sure how to proceed now. How do I make myself look better than her new guy? And what your idea on how often I should text her now? While I have been able to find info on all of the fases of ex recovery on the internet, this part is really confusing and I can find near to nothing on it.
    Another thing: I might have admitted to her that I thought there would be a chance for us if she broke up with her boyfriend. Did I go to far there? She seems to keep searching for confirmation on that now over text, but I don’t know whether giving in to that is a good idea.

    Thanks in advance, and also a big thanks to you and Chris and the others for getting me this far in getting her back!

  30. Andrew

    September 23, 2016 at 4:55 am

    Hi wow I don’t even know where to start.. I’ve never been this sad ever. I was with my girlfriend for a little over two years in February she asked me for a break (I wish I would have found this website since then) she got a new job at that time and I began my own business she was having a hard time so I asked her to partner up with me during those months we obviously had many fights till we had a huge one where she actually said that she wanted nothing to do with me. We kept seeing each other and many things kept happening between us I kept seeing her family and she kept seeing mine she stayed over I stayed over etc. about a month and a half ago I finally found this website and decided on doing the no contact rule but that meant I had to fire her and I knew I had to let her go because we kept on fighting and it made no sense to work together I kind of felt used and on the other hand the business wasn’t going to well so I decided to let her go and begin the nc rule I actually took this decision because I was even more afraid of loosing thanks to a friend in common who told me that she felt nothing for me anymore and I was waiting for something that will never happen. I confronted her about it and she denied everything and I also realized that our friend was just causing trouble so back to the nc rule I did it and for a friends birthday we hung out and talked and everything was cool the day after that we saw each other again and there was so much chemistry at the end of the night she cried and I kissed her and she cried even more but she kissed me back when I asked about it through texts she said she felt sad, excited and scared the next day she was ignoring my texts and just plain weird so I stopped talking to her the next weekend she left on a trip ( with people I don’t really like) and this past Sunday was when I saw her again I asked her to have lunch together and we ended up spending the whole day together there was chemistry again and she would touch me a lot and hug me but continued to ignore my texts all week (i have only text her 2 times ) and today someone picked her up at practice (where we work out ) I’m kind of freaking out I don’t know how to handle this I don’t want to do the NC rule again but you guys are the experts I just want do the right thing I

  31. Richard

    September 22, 2016 at 6:02 pm

    Long distance Ex girlfriend broke up with me in may, we were dating close to 4 months, a month after she meets someone and they start dating shortly after. Its been longer weve been broken up than together and she is approaching the same time being together with the guy in proximity than we were together long distance. This doesnt seem like a rebound as facebook pictures and mutual friends indicate. She has reached out to me recently but only because she knows im upset, and the only reason she reached out was solely to check on my well being and wanted to reinforce that she is with someone now and I should move on and has no desire to communicate more with me because it is awkward for her boyfriend. She has indicated that the relationship meant little to her and that her feelings have changed, despite her being the guiding force behind our relationship in the first place. Do I have any chance?

  32. Harry

    September 20, 2016 at 10:33 am

    Amor,
    I was dating a girl for 11 months. We broke up almost 3 weeks ago and I’ve been doing no contact for 20 days now. I was talking to her best friend who is a mutual friend of mine as well. My ex sent her a text saying “f*ck relationships” yesterday and seemed like even after 20 days of nc, she was strong and didn’t care. I also found out that two months before the break up, she had started talking to another guy from out of state. I didn’t know about this until now. But I found out that now they talk everyday and call each other and have study sessions over the phone. I feel betrayed and cheated. How should I react and what should I do? I still love her and want her back.

  33. Kay

    September 17, 2016 at 8:37 am

    Hi. Here’s my story in brief
    -known her for seven years, dated for a total of six. It was on and off due to long distance.
    – I broke it off early summer because I had commitment issues and felt the need to play the field for a bit.
    – I stupidly strung her along for the next few months and we were in a fwb relationship
    – she has been in a new relationship for two months which she told me about about 3 weeks in
    – tried NC but we exchanged a few messages
    Last contact was two weeks ago. How much further do I wait?

  34. Jimi

    September 15, 2016 at 2:18 pm

    Hi!

    My girlfriend broke up with me about 4 months ago after she spent a couple of months abroad. We where together for one and a half year. When she came back she told me that she had fallen in love with another guy and fell out of love with me. I was depressed while she was there and this was also one of the reasons. So i went into no contact and improved myself greatly. First she told me there was no chance of us ever getting back together. After no contact we started hanging out and after a while she even told me she had feelings for me again and we hooked up. But, this was a week before she was about to go back abroad for a month. Again, no contact. When she came back she told me she fell in love with this guy again and now wants to try a long distance relationship with him. She wants to hang out “as friends”. Now i don’t know what to do. I’m really afraid that if i see her i will only worsen the pain of her having someone else. On the other hand i hope that if she sees me a couple of times, her feelings will come back and she will start to doubt her new relationship and give me another chance. I hope someone can help me. I truly love this girl and i want her back with all my heart.

  35. Jimmy

    September 14, 2016 at 11:27 pm

    Hey there
    So this is going to be long, but here it goes. About 2.5 years ago, the relationship that I had with my ex of 2.5 years ended. It started off really really well, it was almost as if we were made for each other. But near the end, things got really rocky. We started going to the same university for a year and things got stressful as neither of us where on campus, it was a 40 minute commute and we both worked part time. After a year of that, I decided to move on campus so that I could be nearer to resources that I needed for my degree completion. She stayed though. And it was really really hard for her, and me. She constantly expressed how much she wanted to move in together, asked why we couldn’t, and just pressured me to do these huge commitments that neither of us where ready to do (in my opinion). And, through that time, the stress and depression got so bad that I stopped initiating sex for a long time before the breakup. I wouldn’t shy away if she started to make advances, but i didn’t make any. After a while, I realized that I couldn’t be there for her like she needed me to be. So i lied. Over the phone one night, i told her I didn’t love her any more. She was devastated, and I was too. I blocked her from social media to try to ignore some pain. After a few months, I unblocked her and we started talking but I tried keeping it to more friendly talk, it was hard, but i did it. After a while she rebounded to this guy we both worked with. But they where on and off again for a good year and a half. This guy is known to fool around, he would move between my ex and this other girl he dated on and off for years, as well as talk to other women on the side. About a year ago, my ex got pregnant with his baby. But unknown to her, he was actually still dating his other girl, while leading her to believe that they where exclusive. Needless to say, she found out and it ended in hellfire. A few weeks later she miscarried. It was so traumatic she had to go to a mental institution for a while to cope and while she was there, apparently he visited a few times (this all happened without me knowing). She got out though and resumed life. A few months ago (in may) I initiated more serious contact with her, slowly. We stayed somewhat in contact all this time, but just off and on. It took a few months but I finally got the courage to tell her that I loved her and always loved her. She said she loved me too but that she had dug herself pretty deep into a shitty situation with the other guy, but he’s messed up so many times and hurt her so deeply that she didn’t know if there was any coming back from any of it. But she got pregnant again. By him. And for a good month I professed my love to her. I said i loved her, and she said she loved me too. I said I miss her, she said she misses me too. But she got pregnant and miscarried again, and she’s still with him although I can tell she’s not happy and its not a stable relationship. I’m here for her as a friend, giving her support that he doesn’t give her and trying to be as much as she’ll let me, but beyond that, idk how to win her back if she doesn’t act on the GIGS. Will it just take more time?

  36. isaac

    September 14, 2016 at 10:05 pm

    Hi Chris! Love your blog and your book (the texting bible) I have a quick question

    So me and my ex of three years broke up in june, she dumped me… she started seeing a new guy only three weeks after… all summer I would text her and she would be very cold to me and refuse to hang out… but last week she started sending out the texts and asking to see me and has been acting nice all of a sudden… today we had lunch together and caught up, she seemed very happy to see me and spend time with me then asked f I can walk her out of the mall. at the end I asked if shes still with the other guy she said yes… so my question is what was the purpose of meeting me? why would she want to see her ex BF if she has a new guy in her life?

  37. Joey

    September 12, 2016 at 10:46 pm

    Hey there,

    My gf and I split at the beginning of the year and the break-up was pretty messy. I gave her a lot of space and worked on hard on improving myself and even managed to start talking to her a lil bit. I find that when we talk though, she doesn’t seem very interested and recently I have found that she has blocked me again on all forms of social media, which seems odd because our chats are more hows things?, whats new? nothing threatening to her relationship or anything. Why would she remove me off all forms of social media? does she still think I am a threat to her relationship? Do I stop texting her now? What do you think?Thanks.

  38. Batman

    September 9, 2016 at 2:36 am

    So I was dating this girl for a month an a half. Connection like I’ve never had before. Right before we were going to go on our second long weekend together her ex/coworker told her they were on a break and not a break up. She went back with him after much consternation. We were talking constantly even till two days after she chose him. I went no contact because I want to let her miss me a bit. What should I do going forward? (other than give up and date other women, which I’m doing)

  39. Jared

    September 7, 2016 at 7:36 pm

    I dated this woman for three years two and half were wonderful. Then one day she said she did not believe I was going to move forward with the next phase. She left and we had contact every few weeks. We would talk and text but did not see each other. She then began dating a guy about a month after the break up. Well during this time I realized I could not live without her. I then did everything wrong, pushy begging you name it I did it. Well about three months into her new relationship she tells me she is serious about this guy and ready to marry him. Names were exchanged and we left it pretty bad. 10 days after no contact she found me and we talked about being friends. Texting started and became somewhat regular. Then we started talking on the phone and having a lot of laughter. Then she asked me to hangout as friends. It was great and that has led to three other hangouts. She is still seeing this other guy, but we talk everyday now for the last 4 weeks. The only thing is she was big on asking for space. So I try not to initiate any of the contact because things are good. I want her back but not sure if she is just happy being friends or if she is considering getting back. What should I do next?

  40. Greg

    September 7, 2016 at 9:18 am

    hi,

    I’ve commented on here once in a long long post. My last comment was that I hate her and I don’t wanna know about her existence. Things have changed in the last couple of weeks.
    To sum things up: we were together for almost 3 years and then things went south but nothing happened that we couldn’t have solved, I was just too tired. She wanted me back for a month but when I wanted her back she met a dude and now they’re together but they already broke up once and he’s an abusive, terrorizing… not so gentleman.

    Two weeks ago I went to a festival and a large group of friends gathered up, she was there too so we accidentally bumped into each other. She tried to avoid me and she made me nervous just by being there but we ended up talking and drinking together although some drama went on with his boyfriend all night long. We had fun and all so it was cool but she was really drunk. We split up and a couple hours later she called me to meet up with my friends and all but I couldn’t find my friends so I went alone. She was with one of her best friends and we had a beer at a place. Then her boyfriend showed up to let the drama continue in person. He knew who I am and he started to insult me and all. Before meeting him I got to know that he called her a whore and he said she’s having sex with multiple guys (with me too) while talking to him on Facebook. Those were absurd allegations.

    Couple minutes later she told us – her friend and me – that he usually beats her, she was unconscious once because of him. And I was so angry but I tried to stay calm, I just stepped closer to protect her. A couple minutes later this guy tried to attack me and grab my throat, all he achieved was to hit my ex girlfriend’s head into a tree close to us and then she started to cry. Later he tried to bite her and he put his hand on her shoulder in a not so friendly manner. I pulled his hand off of her shoulder and he “attacked” me. He shoved my arm and tried to push me but I was on the phone talking to someone and he still couldn’t beat me so I grabbed him at his chest and brought him to the ground with just one arm. My phone didn’t suffer any damage lol. That’s not the point though, I didn’t attack him or tried to escalate things in any way to get physical.

    So the situation currently is this: She had to block me on Facebook but we’re talking again after avoiding each other for almost 3 months, in secret, like good ol’ high school days lol. We actually met yesterday because she had my lighter and I wanted it back, it’s not working but I don’t care about my lighter haha (sidestory: she told me I’m gonna get it back if I offer her something she can’t refuse to and when I asked for examples of what she wants she said “we’ve been together for 3 years, make that time worth it” and she meant to say I should know it because I know her well, so I invited her to the zoo or the movies and I offered her a meal cooked by me because I started to learn to cook. She didn’t say anything but she gave my lighter back). And they’re still together and she has to update him on what he’s doing. I’m really afraid of her getting hurt by this guy sooner or later but it’s gutwrenching how I can’t do anything to protect her. And I also want to get her back but she seemed kinda neutral but very friendly yesterday. So what do I do now? I don’t even know why she would meet me tbh.

  41. Larry

    September 6, 2016 at 6:55 pm

    I’ve been talking to my ex girlfriend after no contact, started building attraction, and she brought up hanging out again (she has a new boyfriend), but said she was scared that if we hung out she’d fall in love with me again. How do I convince her that’s OK? The topic managed to change on its own so I didn’t have to respond right then but when it comes up again what do I tell her?

  42. Martha

    September 6, 2016 at 3:10 am

    Me and my high school sweetheart of 8 years broke up a week ago when I went long distance because I was jealous, and her family found out about our abusive past that we have gone through years of counseling for. She talked to my grandma on Saturday and said she still loved me but I would never change, and that hopefully we can be friends, and that she only has a restraining order because of her family. I sent her a book in the mail, and today she called and said that I’m just making things harder for the both of us, that I have to move on because she is, and then she cried and said she wished I would have changed years ago before it’s too late. She is the love of my life… What should I do? How do I fix this?

    1. Martha

      September 6, 2016 at 3:21 am

      Mind you, I’ve been struggling for the past couple years with my anger and abusive tendencies, when she started to get better. She still wasn’t perfect, but I definitely needed to change and try harder… Is there hope? Now that her family is involved and everyone is angry with me?

  43. Jess

    September 3, 2016 at 4:08 am

    Thanks Armor, how long should I do the NC? 2 weeks or more like a month? I kinda bought a new number so that I can text her if the time comes.. well yeah. Maybe its a lil bit creepy. Dunno. Also.. she said that it was like the last chance.. well she said it a few times before yesterday as well..
    aaand she is away for a month or so.. and then on a vacation with the new gf of her.. Oh man. I think I fucked up ûu
    Btw Armor you are a huge help, so thanks for that and all of your replys. You give me hope ^^

    1. EGR Team Member: Amor

      September 11, 2016 at 5:32 am

      as long as you’re blocked..so, you need to set a limit on until when you would wait

  44. Jess

    September 2, 2016 at 3:47 pm

    Well.. we had a huge fight. I am blocked again, she said that she doesn’t want to have any contact with me cause it doesn’t work and well.. she said that she and her new gf kinda moved in together, Dunno. I thnk I can’t do anything.. Restart NC? I don’t know!

    1. EGR Team Member: Amor

      September 2, 2016 at 10:40 pm

      oh nope, getting angry is not allowed during and while rebuilding rapport.. I know it’s hard but that’s just how you build rapport with another person, especially if it’s your ex. The more you do nc, the less the effect but if you’re blocked, that means it’s your only option.

  45. Ali

    September 1, 2016 at 2:34 am

    I’m not sure what to do in this situation and would like some help.
    My girlfriend and I had been going long distance on and off for about 4+ years. My job required us to be long distance and so when I had to move again at the beginning of the year, we broke up. I told her she wasn’t trying anymore, and she took that as I didn’t want to be with her. I was stubborn and let her go. Now that you have that background, know that we since that day, we had been talking to try and make it work. Last month I decided I needed to tell her I needed her back, but I didn’t want to force her into anything. This month, I said screw it and told her how I felt. Only to find out she has been seeing someone and was now moving in with this person. I was completely heartbroken. I told her to just give me a chance to compete with this guy for her and she said she loved him. She says it happened all in the span of three months. (Time while she and I were still talking). I’ve had some pretty dark days, but these past couple of weeks have been the worst I’ve ever experienced. I want and need her back in my life. Everything inside me says this is a pretty strong rebound for her, but that we still have a future. I failed at “no-contact” royally by doing everything I could to get a response from her, her friends, her family. I did “no-contact” again for about 10 days and just this week I get a text from her asking for no contact (text, call, email) because it wouldn’t be fair to him and her. I’m not sure where I go from here. I’m trying to better myself, but I don’t know what to look forward to if I can’t even send her an irrelevant text. Any thoughts?

    1. EGR Team Member: Amor

      September 1, 2016 at 11:45 am

      Hi ALi,

      restart the no contact.. improve yourself and make it seem that you’ve moved on.. SO, that when you contact her again, she wouldn’t be protective of her new relationship.

    2. Ali

      September 3, 2016 at 4:28 pm

      Thank you for the reply. I understand the no contact has to be re-established, but how long before the next contact.
      My fear is if I wait even three months, with how fast things are moving between the two, this man may propose. I don’t know she would say, but of course I have to assume the worst.
      I’m willing to “move on”, without moving on. I just don’t want to miss another milestone without doing something about it.

    3. EGR Team Member: Amor

      September 11, 2016 at 6:17 am

      you can do just 30 daya

  46. Tony

    August 29, 2016 at 7:18 pm

    My ex got back in contact with me and after two conversations she told me she has been seeing another man whose alot younger then me im 30 and shes 22 not sure how old he is but she told me they were dating for a week and a half and he already bought her a promise ring and is taking her on vacation. She then told me he comes from alot of money but doesn’t like that he brags about it and that the guys family seems to like her and that her family already met the new guy.

    She then started asking me questions about our relationship and I told her how I felt and she said why didn’t I tell her sooner and shes confused. I cut the conversation short and told her i’m not deal with the insanity and that i’m blocking her on fb and if she wants me she knows how to contact me. She said whatever she decides that she appericiates everything iv’e done for her and that I will have a special place in here heart. It’s been a little more then a week since we last spoke but I did this because I didn’t want to be friend zoned and be her dear abby. Did I do the right thing?

    1. EGR Team Member: Amor

      September 1, 2016 at 8:56 am

      Hi Tony,

      yeah that’s right.. You have to raise your value by not staying when you knew she has another guy

  47. Jess

    August 27, 2016 at 1:14 pm

    Thank you. Though she is not a big fan of social media I am gonna try it.. We are not firends on facebook anymore but she and my best friend are connected via Facebook, so I will need my best friend to upload pictures with me I guess..
    What about her birthday? Should I send her a text message or even buy her a present and send it via a package or just ignore it or congratulate her a few days after her original birthday?
    Thanks Amor 🙂

    1. Jess

      August 29, 2016 at 8:57 pm

      And I almost forgot.. Which book should I buy? The texting bible? And paypal doesn’t work or does it? Cause I don’t own any credit card :<

    2. EGR Team Member: Amor

      September 1, 2016 at 6:13 am

      unfortunately as of now, credit card is the only option.. Nope dont’ greet her..and even if you’re not friends in fb, she will still probably check it. So, it’s ok even if you’re friend isn’t involved.

  48. Jess

    August 25, 2016 at 9:20 pm

    Sorry Amor but now I am confused. How can I show her that I have moved on and stuff if we don’t communicate with each other? And what should I do to get her back? Establish a friendship? I don’t know. It seems it doesn’t really work out for me this way.. I don’t want a friendship like you probably know. I just want her back for good. Btw her birthday is coming up on 4th of September, should I congratulate her? And don’t text her till then? I’m really confused ._.

    1. EGR Team Member: Amor

      August 26, 2016 at 1:13 pm

      through social media..if she sees you’re moving on, living life, doing new things, having personal growth, and going out with friends, it could help establish that when you message, it’s just friendly..

      and you’re just going to start off friendly but you’re going to rebuild rapport and attraction along the way

  49. Ron

    August 24, 2016 at 7:42 pm

    she broke up with me saying she had no feelings for me and she had bad memories. we dated for almost 3 years and were best friends for 3 years before that. now she is dating a guy 4 years elder than our age and they are in a long distance relationship and she seems to be more than happy wirh him. but i cant let go these 6 years of my life and i badly want her back. what do i do ?
    i tried the nc rule but she aint responding well. whenever i ignore her she comes running to me. and whenever i try to rebuild friendship she ignores me.
    currently we are in nc
    and no positive signs of her missing me or wanting me as of yet

    1. EGR Team Member: Amor

      August 25, 2016 at 8:05 pm

      Hi Ron,

      when did you break up, what do you do during and after nc and what texts do you send?

    2. Ron

      August 26, 2016 at 2:11 pm

      we broke up in january this year but were very close till march.
      and then she strated liking that guy and they got into a relationship in july.
      while in no contact she tried to contact me and speak to me everyday. i tried to ignore her at the max and kept the contact to least.
      she started getting irritated by the fact that i was ignoring her and confronted me about it.
      now she is least interested in talking to me.
      what do i do

    3. Ron

      August 26, 2016 at 2:16 pm

      the guy she has been dating is playing with her mind and all of a sudden she has a negative image of me.
      they are in a long distance which is the only positive i have at the moment

    4. EGR Team Member: Amor

      September 1, 2016 at 4:05 am

      Hi Ron,

      are you talking to her now?

    5. Ron

      September 1, 2016 at 6:19 pm

      yes
      but not on a regular basis
      she is the one to initiate the contact always

      should i try and rebuild friendship and get close to her
      if yes then how
      if no then what should i do ?

    6. EGR Team Member: Amor

      September 2, 2016 at 9:21 pm

      yes you should! That’s good that she initiates! Start with texts, talk about the topics that she loves, when there’s enough rapport move to calls and then meet ups.

    7. Ron

      September 10, 2016 at 4:41 am

      at the moment she is really very much into that guy despite of the long distance relationship.
      how do i attract her. or bring back her feelings for me?

  50. Jon

    August 23, 2016 at 2:22 pm

    Hello, Im Jon. I dated my ex for about 7months. We are in the same class and she used to get really jealous when i talk to other girls in the class. She complained i was childish because i always had lunch with my friends(guys) not her. (I was always in her house after school). But i wanted spending time with my friends in school too. She saw a picture of a girl’s thighs i screenshot on snapchat(which i thought i deleted a year ago) but she said nothing about it. 1day i told her i was going to spend the whole day with her in school and then she was happy. the next day in school when we were together talking, 1 of our classmates came and asked me a question concerning her new phone. When i was replying this girl, my ex just stood up and left. After school i sent her a message why she just left me, then she started complaining that i dont make her a priority and i dont value her. i asked her what she meant and she started talking about how i had a picture of a girl’s thigh on my phone ( i had nothing to do with that girl). I checked my phone several times but dint see the picture. i told her there was nothing and prolly she saw pics of her thighs and thought it was another girl’s. she was so furious and said i was making her look crazy. i kept checking my phone everyday but saw nothing. i was angry too and dint talk to her, then she called after few days and said she wanted to c me. she came to my house and said we shud burry the hatchet. i told her that unless she apologised to me. she then stood up and said shes breaking up with me, i dint say a word bcos i was angry and fed up. Few days after i checked mmy phone and saw the picture! immediately i realised i was so wrong. i went to her house to explain and all but she wouldnt listen to me. i went back home, cried and got high and went back to her house in the night to beg her, but she would listen. she said maybe we would date in the future and all that. few weeks later she’s dating another guy. D same guy she used to tell me they were just friends and nothing was going on btw them. i got so jealous and stopped talking to her, she begged me to be friends with her but i refused, i told her i wasnt ready. then on my bithday she made me a birthday cake and we got into a big fight, and she sent me a long text that night saying she’s letting go of my finally and all. but i went the next day to her house to get the cake. then i invited her to my birthday party but she declined. came to my birthday party with her bf. i acted all cool but they just stayed few mins and left. She kept begging me to be friends with her but i kept declining. till rescently when she begged again and i agreed. we have bn friends and we talk in school and all. And i really want her back. What do i do?

    ps: her mom really approves of her new bf

    1. EGR Team Member: Amor

      August 24, 2016 at 9:12 pm

      Hi Jon,
      still friendzoned? are you in limited contact now?

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