What To Do When Your Ex Girlfriend Starts Dating A New Boyfriend

3,060 thoughts on “How To Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back If She Has A New Boyfriend”

Jack

April 24, 2017 at 5:53 am

So,I did all of those steps and she said it’s so hard to chose between us,but after that she said that there is not choice since she is with him.She also mentioned she’s afraid of me and she’s in love with me.We hang out multiple times and she came to my room and lied to her boyfriend that she will be somewhere else.We had some drinks,ended up having sex.She ways she will always love me but now its impossible to be with me.How should I treat her?What should I do?She says something, but her actions speak a diferent story.We were together for 2 years and after we broke up she went to this guy in less ot a week because she felt so sad,that’s what she told me.She never knew him before that.I dont know what to do.I want her.My english is not that great..sorry.

EGR Team Member: Amor

April 30, 2017 at 3:50 pm

you mean you already did the no contact rule? For how long?

Pete

April 23, 2017 at 11:55 pm

So we have been apart for a year or so. Were
together for 8. She is with new guy fo 9 momths or so. We met to catch up and feelings reignited. Managed to get to the “get her confused” part, but now she seems afraid to see me because of the strain it causes on new relationship, but also says she does not want me out of her life, even tho I told her I wanted her back. Not sure how to proceed next…

EGR Team Member: Amor

April 30, 2017 at 3:47 pm

try the no contact rule..

Kurt

April 23, 2017 at 1:41 pm

Hey, so me and my girlfriend met online and we did long distance for about 4 months before I decided to move to her because I had finished uni and could get a transfer from work, 2 weeks after I move she dumps me (because we were suddenly incompatible) we met more than 5 times in person over this time and I was sure that we had so much in common on levels like our future and ideals.2 weeks after that she is back with her ex who mistreated her, cheated on her, lied to her and made her feel like shit. I want to fix this but she said she has moved on from me and I don’t know what to belive because of all the stuff she has ever said to me.
My no contact rule of 21 days is about to end but I’m so stuck as to what to say to her to try and build attraction or even initiate first contact.
PLEASE HELP ME
I think I’m going insane

EGR Team Member: Amor

April 23, 2017 at 7:42 pm

If the past weeks was not focused in improving yourself, restart no and then use this one for initiating texts:
3 Secret Texts That Your Ex Girlfriend Cant Resist (Video)

Tyson

April 17, 2017 at 10:30 pm

Hi,
I have a question, my ex has a new boyfriend and unfortunately it seems to be going well with them enjoying time together. However I talk to my ex daily (she doesn’t tell her boyfriend). We have talked about our past and how she feels about our breakup and about me. It was a bad breakup where she thought I didn’t love her anymore and now she admits that she is unable to love someone or have those feelings for anyone ever again. Which tells me that this new boyfriend is more of just a distraction from actually dealing with things.

She still wants to be friends and talk regularly with me. However I have a very difficult time with the boyfriend situation and often get jealous and react towards her about it. How do you recommend putting those jealous feelings aside while trying to be friends with her and build attraction? I feel like I’ve been friendzoned in this situation and I try to claw myself out of it with her.

EGR Team Member: Amor

April 23, 2017 at 11:50 am

you are friendzoned.. if you want to increase your chances, start the no contact rule and then slowly build rapport after

Max

April 15, 2017 at 8:23 pm

Hi there,
Wow I’m so impressed that you are responding to comments – hat-tip to the team.
Here’s my story :
– Met the most beautiful girl 5 years ago and quickly she moved in with me and we were talking marriage. We’re both in our 30’s.
– She broke my heart after 9 months, and less than a year later we dated again for 4 months.
– For the last 3 years, we’ve remained best friends, even though I’m constantly chasing her. We talk amost every day, and we go for drinks, lunches and dinner a few times a week. Yet, its been 3 years and not a kiss, nothing, has happened between us. Neither of us has dated anyone seriously since the last breakup, and I wake every morning thinking about her.
– I’ve hugely helped her financially and emotionally (She shares all her worries and problems with me as they happen – she knows I care, I value her, and know her extremely well), and I’ve helped her launch a new business 3 months ago for which she needs me (I do online marketing and am an expert in the field of her new business)
Today, I bumped into her while she was on a date. I feel horrible 🙁
We’re supposed to work together at my place in a few days and possibly have dinner…
I’m looking at the 4 steps you put forwards, and I’m unsure about what my next move should be. Go into an awkward no-contact that might make me look jealous and reactive… or… what does one do during one of the hangouts on Step 4?

EGR Team Member: Amor

April 16, 2017 at 7:50 pm

What kind of work were you supposed to do? You’re friend zoned because you were always there..there was no distance..

jonathan

April 10, 2017 at 10:18 am

about a month ago me and my girlfriend broke up after being together for 6 months. she said she just wanted to be single and wasnt happy. the problem is that we work together and have to interact with each other a couple times a week. so for the past month we’ve still been talking(outside of work too), even though since we broke up ive done literally everything you’re not supposed to do like beg for her to take me back, acts of desperation, jealousy card, calling, texting, everything. i feel like shes sending mixed messages because even though she will refuse to hang out with me as a friend or take me back she will tell me she still loves me and when i see her we will act like nothing ever happened. despite this, i figured out that shes been dating this guy since a week after we broke up, and she finally told me that she thinks its going to be serious. i just told her i wanted to leave her alone and that im happy for her and that she should just block me from all social media and phone, but its been a couple days and she still hasnt, which im not sure what to think about it. we havent texted since she told me, but i saw her at work yesterday and of course she said hi to me and we we’re talking like good friends again. im just trying to keep the conversations short but not come off as rude. is the NC rule even effective if i still have to interact with her at work? will the fact that i work with her give me a better chance of getting back with her, considering that the new guy has to think about her working with me as her ex and the fact that we’re still on good terms, and considering that instead of texting as the first step after NC, i can make casual conversation in person?

EGR Team Member: Amor

April 10, 2017 at 10:13 pm

just keep the conversations at work professional. If she initiates small talk, be polite, short and direct.. and yes, you can start with small talk as building rapport after nc.

Golden

April 4, 2017 at 11:27 am

Hello there,

I came across this website by accident and wondering if it is even worth to ask about my case. I am 42, married, have a 6 year old kid. But I suddenly fell in love with a much much younger girl (26) who works with me during a business trip. She also did, knowing well my situation. First it was impossible to imagine but then we accepted our situation and started living together. I told all lies to my family to be with her most of the time. This went on for a year and we got very deeply involved with each other in all ways. To the point that I am now surrendered to the situation and ready to be with her in a legal way. While she doesnt want it because it will hurt her parents knowing what she has done (we come from different religions and different countries). So we started talking about separation. But it was not getting into reality as each time we tried to separate we came closer more. Now she decided to be another guy – just to be separated from me. So, we just got separated on Friday. But I am destroyed over the thoughts of losing her permanently – no pain or no feelings. I have nothing left in me. All I am thinking of is her. She is sending me messages asking how I am doing and telling me that she is also in depression. But I was not replying and instead I sent her a long email describing what she has done and how we were best together.

To this extent, I dont know how to deal with this. Either I will hate her forever or die. Please advise.

EGR Team Member: Amor

April 4, 2017 at 10:10 pm

Hi Golden,

Just to make it clear, the age and religion is the only challenges to the relationship right? But you’re legally single?

Justin

April 4, 2017 at 12:49 am

Hi,

So I was with my Ex for a whole year and we had almost everything in common. She was really in love with me and saw a future together. In almost all my relationships, I get to the 9th month when I start to back off and need space. It starts to affect my affection and backing off. This one was different though, cause I didn’t want to break up with her. It got to the point where I guess I pushed her away. She lied to me the night I broke up with her, that she was out with a Friend (which is now the guy she is with which was 2 weeks after we broke up). This breakup of ours was almost 3 months ago. She is still with him. Since we have broken up, she has not messaged, texted, or called me at all. Hearing from her coworker, she is happy with this guy and she knew him for years. At first, I was backing off because she jumped so fast into a relationship when she was in love with me. After a while, it started to bother me and I was missing her. I decided to reach out and got nothing. During this whole time, she has “liked” everything my family and friends post on social media. She even likes pics on instagram in which she never uses the app. And, she still has our pictures on there. So I decided I would pour my heart out to her 4 weeks ago, and all I got was “Thank you for saying this… I dont know what to say” and thats all the responses I would get. I find out the next day she is asking all her friends what should she do and what would they do. I even asked her a week later if we can meet and she said sure i guess but never heard from her. It’s now 3 weeks later, and still never got a response from her (either yes we can try or no I am staying with this current guy). The weird thing is she has not posted anything on Social Media involving this guy, not even a picture, but I do hear that she is happy with him. So here’s my question… I did the NC for 4 weeks… and I just today asked, since she never responded to me pouring my heart out, that if she wanted to be friends like she asked before… and the response I got was Yeah I would like that. So should I give up really? Or should I try going into the 2nd and 3rd Step of this topic? Thanks!

EGR Team Member: Amor

April 4, 2017 at 9:53 pm

HI Justin,

You were silent for a month, but was it focused in improving yourself? And also you rushed after it.. I’m not saying it’s bad to pour your heart out, but you did it at the wrong time.. You should have built rapport first.
Justin

April 5, 2017 at 1:30 am

Hi Amor,

Yes It was focused on improving myself… Ive lost weight and got back into exercising. She did say that she wishes I had said and done all that back when we broke up…. Should I just give up?
EGR Team Member: Amor

April 10, 2017 at 9:17 pm

try to restart nc and then slowly build rapport after.

chris

April 4, 2017 at 12:13 am

i met my girlfriend January, and we dated for 3 months, she recently broke up with me, though she is a hot tempered person, i offended her, she got so pissed off and quit, i begged her on two occasions, Thursday and Saturday to be precise, i even knelt down on the two occasions, i called people to beg her, because she threw my engagement ring back to me, and blocked me on Facebook, and blacklisted my line so i cant reach her, but after being talked to by her boss, she accepted to forgive and be just friend, and to unblock my line and add me back on Facebook, but she told me that she will never date me again and if i call and talk to her about relationship that she will bounce call on me, i love he with my life and i want her back, please do i have hopes of getting her back and how

EGR Team Member: Amor

April 4, 2017 at 9:14 pm

Hi Chris,

don’t rush things.. for now, try at least 21 days of no contact rule and during that 21 days focus in improving yourself and then take it slow in building rapport after. Don’t beg.

Jack

April 3, 2017 at 8:30 am

The situation is like this, me and my girlfriend have been together for 2 years and 1 month, and I have somehow decided to break up, out of blue, if you ask me why did I do that, I wouldn’t know. Yes, it wasnt all fun and games during the last few days before our break up, but I shouldn’t have ended it then, but it’s over now. Now I can just hope that you can help me get her back. It has been 2 months since we broke up, and in the first month we used to text regularly and we even saw eachother few times, we had a birthday of our mutual friend and that kind of stuff. After that first month I contacted her two best friends to ask about her, and she found out about that. I know that really hurt her, because it looked as if I stalked her and wanted to stay in her life, to know everything. I think that she lost some trust in me then. Shortly after that we met and I explained her that I didnt want any of that, it was just because i didnt want to remind her of our break up and mention it. She somehow understood me and forgave me, I can say. That time she told me that I shouldnt have broken up with her if i wanted us to be together. She also told me that she cries every night before sleep thinking of us. After that meeting I decided to start 21 day nc and after 11 days of nc i bumped into her with a guy that used to text her when we were together, even though she never responded to him then. She was gonna say hello to me, and with a smile on her face went in for a hug. But I just walked past her, like she is not there. After that we had a very big argument through texts. And after that i definitely know that she is pissed at me, disappointed and all that. She never expected me to do that, since I am believed to be a good guy. I lost her trust definitely, and she also is very pissed at me. I am feeling very guilty because I did that, she doesnt deserve to be treated like that. What do you think is the best aproach to my situation? I also want to mention that she might be seeing this guy, and I dont want that. I really miss her, and want her back, we had such a beautiful time together, we almost never fight, and I feel like part of me is missing. Thank you for your response, I really hope you will be able to help me get her back!

EGR Team Member: Amor

April 4, 2017 at 7:32 pm

The mistake to that encounter is actually the argument after.. Yeah, you might have been wrong to plainly ignore her, but it got worse when you fought about it.. The best approach is to explain and apologize and then wish her well, and then restart the no contact rule.. If you do bump into her again, be polite but short and then leave.. if she ignores you, let her be..
Jack

May 4, 2017 at 11:10 am

Hey, its me again, you have been very helpful to me, I want you to know that. ????
Just an update. After that encounter I tried 2 week nc and after it ended she was the one who made the first move. She texted me asking if I wanna come over. When I went to her place we first talked for a while and then we ended up kissing, making out and I spent the night at her place. She was the one who initiated a kiss and all that. And we talked about seeing eachother again. In a few days from now exactly. And it means that she will be cheating on her boyfriend with me. What should I do now to get her back?
Jack

May 4, 2017 at 12:16 pm

Should I ask her if she is with that other guy next time we meet? Or what should I do?
EGR Team Member: Amor

May 4, 2017 at 4:34 pm

Rest from seeing each other after the next meet.. Don’t ask her about the other guy for now
Jack

May 4, 2017 at 5:31 pm

Rest from seeing each other after the next meet.. I’m sorry, but, what do you mean by this? I dont really understand
EGR Team Member: Amor

May 5, 2017 at 5:38 pm

dont ask her again..if she initiates, reschedule it.
Jack

May 6, 2017 at 2:08 pm

How should my aproach be now then? Texts>phone calls>small meet up>romantic meet up? Even if there is this other guy she is dating? Is there any changes that I should make in this strategy? I should implement it the way you advise in articles such as How to get your ex back using text messages and articles like that… I’m truly sorry for bothering you this much, but I really dont have a clue what to do. ????
Jack

May 6, 2017 at 2:34 pm

How should my aproach be now then? Texts>phone calls>small meet up>romantic meet up? Even if there is this other guy she is dating? Is there any changes that I should make in this strategy? I should implement it the way you advise in articles such as How to get your ex back using text messages and articles like that… I’m truly sorry for bothering you this much, but I really dont have a clue what to do, you are my only hope ????
EGR Team Member: Amor

May 6, 2017 at 6:24 pm

that’s ok..go back to building more rapport through texting and calls even just for a week before meeting up again

Craig

April 3, 2017 at 2:50 am

I was with my girlfriend for about 3 months. It was very intense very fast and our connection was off the charts. As worth most things that start out intensely, the cool a bit. We still had a great time together and nothing was ever wrong. We talked for hours and that connection was still solid. She then came and said, that things were a bit different. I agreed but didn’t think that it was something to be terribly concerned with. She loved me and I loved her. Then she said that maybe we were just Friends. Maybe she wasn’t the person to make me happy. We stopped seeing each other for about a week then we talked and I asked here to keep an open mind. We did a few things together and still had amazing times but I think her mind has “Friend ” zoned me. I told her that we had this amazing connection that is so hard to find. She agreed but didn’t think that we were right for one another.
I have had NC for 21 days now. I think she might have a new guy but i’m not sure. How should I proceed? I simple text message as stated above and test waters or wait.

EGR Team Member: Amor

April 4, 2017 at 7:17 pm

I think you should extend to 30 or 45 days.
Craig

April 4, 2017 at 11:03 pm

Funny you should say wait till 3-45 days. Above Chris states that you don’t want the “new” guy to have too much time to ensconce himself. If I wait that gives him the upper hand without any word from me.
EGR Team Member: Amor

April 10, 2017 at 9:10 pm

yeah, but you already did that.. although it was just a week and then after that, she just said she thinks you’re not right for each other..

Marian

March 31, 2017 at 2:26 am

So, here is my situation(sorry if my english is a little bad) : me and my girlfriend broke up a month and a half ago after a long distance relationship that lasted 2 and a half years and she almost imediately started to see another guy (in a week). I admit, i have like 65% of the guilt. I don’t say that there where only happy times, but we never had a fight were we would end up not speaking with each other or break up, heck, we didn’t even closed the phone till we would reach an understanting and resolve this things by speaking. I have done like 20 days of no contact after which i liked a photo or two on her instagram and she almost imediatlely called me. since then we talked through messages but also phone calls. if i start the conversesion i text her but if she wants to talk to me she calls. i tried to follow the guid to the letter, not realy talking about the breakup (though there were one or to times we talked briefly about it), not talking about her new boyfriend, beeing upbeat and funny, only talking about fun memories we have, basically i tried to seem like the breakup was very good to me and i’m doing great (even though i surely am not). A couple of days ago, while talking with her on the phone (again, she was the one who called me), she told me that she started seeing this new guy to forget about me (basicaly admiting that she was in a rebound relationship) but that things were good between them but she also said that he is very possesive and gets jealous and he already had a fight (only in text) with one of her male friends, something i never did, i gave her the freedom she needed(not letting her cheat or something like that, just something normal). I told her that i almost did the exact thing but i prefered to concentrate on me, and changed the subject. After a lil bit of talking i told her what i miss most from our relationship and she started crying on the phone (not a furios cry, more like the sad, i miss you cry). After that i tried cheering her up and asked what she missed about the relationship and she said that she misses me. After, i changed the subject and continued on with our chat. Today, she called me again and while we were chating i told her i would be in town (were she lives) next friday because i have some business and she almost imediatelly asked if i wanted to hang out with her. I said that if she wants i have no probleme with it and she said that if she didnt she wouldn’t have asked. Now we need to pick an hour. What do you think are my chances and how should i proceed. I never told her that i still love her or that i miss her, only hinting that she is still important to me.

EGR Team Member: Amor

March 31, 2017 at 10:43 pm

Hi Marian,

you’re doing great.. keep going like that.. you have a high chance of getting her back
Marian

April 1, 2017 at 6:25 pm

Thanks for the reply, keep doing what you do, you are the best.
EGR Team Member: Amor

April 4, 2017 at 6:39 pm

Welcome 🙂 Thank you too!

Gerald

March 30, 2017 at 3:37 pm

MY EX broke up with me with a letter
she moved on and tried asking out another guy but her plan failed now in my class we have eye contact and she always looks at me when she gets the chance
i still love her and she is damn hot so wat must i do???

EGR Team Member: Amor

March 30, 2017 at 8:13 pm

Hi Gerald,

do you want to try to rebuild rapport or do limited contact and focus in improving yourself?

Eric

March 29, 2017 at 11:46 pm

Hi Amor, so me and my girlfriend of 2 and a half years since mid sophomore year of high school broke up 6 months ago. It was my fault I pushed her away thinking I wanted to live a party lifestyle in college, and didn’t realize how good I had it. I wasn’t going away or anything because I commute to a nearby university while she attends the county college. We maintained contact the whole time through texts and still do texts a lot. It was this past week I broke down and realized the awful mistake I made, but I’m too late. She already has a boyfriend who is a senior in high school. I went to her house and opened up to her and told her how sorry I am and have expressed multiple times I want a second chance, but she says she can’t because she likes her boyfriend and wants to see where things go with him. I’m honestly crushed. We agreed to be friends and she said I can talk to her anytime, even though her boyfriend doesn’t like it. I just told her I’m willing to be friends and that I hope at some point in the future I get another chance with her to make up for my mistake. I would do anything to go back and stay with her instead of push her away like I did, and I wish I realized my mistake a lot sooner. I just am not sure at this point what to do. Should I just avoid contact until this grief is over, and move on, and then try to be friends and wait until I get another chance with her? Or should I actively try to win her back slowly even though she’s told me that right now I won’t have a second chance because she likes her boyfriend?

EGR Team Member: Amor

March 30, 2017 at 7:56 pm

Hi Eric,

why not try the advice above first?

Eric

March 29, 2017 at 10:28 pm

Hi so about 6 months ago my girlfriend and I broke up after 2 1/2 years together. We were together from mid sophomore year of high school until the beginning of freshman year in college. We both went to county college so we didn’t have to leave each other but I thought at the time I wanted to be single and try to live a party life and essentially forced her to break up with me. I didn’t care for her like I should’ve and was mean for no reason. We broke up but continued to text and still do text. The only problem is I’ve just realized what an awful mistake I made and want her back desperately. She has a new boyfriend now whos a senior in high school but she still texts me back all the time even though her boyfriend doesn’t like it. I recently opened up to her both in text and showed up to her house and told her how awful I feel and I’m sorry and have expressed that I want another chance. She told me she feels bad that I’m upset and can talk to her anytime but that she likes her new boyfriend and wants to see where things go with him. I’ve just told her that this is hard for me but that I want to ne friends still and hope that in the future I can get another chance to make it up to her. I just want to know what I should do at this point. Should I try not talking to her until I’m over this grief and just try to be friends and hope that her new relationship doesn’t work out? Or should I keep actively trying to win her back? Any feedback is appreciated, thanks.

EGR Team Member: Amor

March 30, 2017 at 7:56 pm

Hi Eric,

why not try the advice above first?

Ed

March 28, 2017 at 4:28 pm

Me and my ex broke up a month ago. Last weekend we went out with two of my other mates to a carnival. (me and her had such a great time with good jokes and conversations. Our eyes would catch often when we werent next to one another). After we went to the carnival we all went clubbing. So we drank a bit too much. Me and her went to the dance floor and had such an amazing time, we used our jokingly dance moves whilest we were together. It came to a point where she licked my lip and kissed me. When I tried kissing her she moved back and shortly after that she changed so much, like she realized she did wrong. I took her back home afterwards. The next morning she changed her profile picture to her with another guy. On Facebook it stated that she went into an relationship the day after we had that amazing night together. Now a week has passed without speaking. so last night I went to her mothers art gallery opening and saw her there. it was one of the most awkwardest moments ever. What should I do? we just started speaking today but very basically.

EGR Team Member: Amor

March 29, 2017 at 3:44 pm

Hi Ed,

have you done the no contact rule? if yes, how long and how much did you improve yourself?
Ed

March 30, 2017 at 10:26 am

Hi Amor,

Yes I did for almost two weeks and I improved quite alot during that time. what should I do next, do another no contact rule for two more weeks? I just dont want to give her and her new boyfriend so much time together before it can maybe be too late.
EGR Team Member: Amor

March 30, 2017 at 8:10 pm

yeah, you went too fast.. its supposed to be a slow build up of rapport after the short nc.. now, she’s being protective of her current bf.. apologize, and tell her you understand but dont3 be a stranger and then do a 14 day nc, and then slowly build rapport after

Hector

March 27, 2017 at 2:00 pm

Hey Amor

I have a question. I am unclear on the advice between the two articles: 1.) My Ex Girlfriend Dumped Me For Another Guy… 2.) How To Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back If She Has A New Boyfriend. In article 2 Chris recommends an abbreviated NC and article 1 recommends the extra-long NC period. I am unsure how long to go.

I don’t want to type out my whole story. Basically, I was the rebound, me and my ex started hanging out before she had officially broken up with her boyfriend. After a few months, she broke up with me to try and get back together with her ex. That didn’t work out for her, (which wasn’t surprising to me because I don’t think he treated her well). I did a 21 day NC and started texting her again, my texts were well received. It seemed like things were going well and we met up, but then she seemed to change her mind again. I continued to maintain contact, unfortunately, she recently told me she does not want to date me or see me, and that she recently started dating someone else and needs to maintain boundaries. I know it doesn’t sound like good odds for me as the rebound, but we were much more connected then a typical rebound. I was wondering how long of a no contact you think I should use and any other modifications that would be relevant in this situation.

Thank you

EGR Team Member: Amor

March 28, 2017 at 12:44 pm

Hi Hector,
follow the advice on number 2, because you’re a rebound..She has to see you as the better option

Ben

March 17, 2017 at 12:00 am

what would you do if you got drunk and lashed out at both of them? My ex has a new boyfriend too, who was also our 3rd wheeler and her best friend. I said sorry the next day for what I said, but they didnt reply, as if they thought I was being sarcastic

EGR Team Member: Amor

March 27, 2017 at 2:42 pm

Hi Ben,

do nc after that..

Shawn

March 13, 2017 at 5:52 am

Me and my gf of 5 years broke up three weeks ago. she started seeing another guy almost immediately she says she has very strong feelings for this guy and she wants to see where it goes. 5years together how can she move on so quick its crushing my heart. What do i do i need to get her back she is the love of my life

EGR Team Member: Amor

March 21, 2017 at 9:02 am

Hi Shawn,

follow the advice on this one:
My Ex Girlfriend Dumped Me For Another Guy…
David Langley

March 27, 2017 at 3:45 am

I am going dealing with pretty much the same exact situation myself right now shawn. Only difference is we have a kid together. Anyways I’m about to apply this plan but with my own twist because of the kid. The only twist is that during the no contact rule i am going to respond to anything about the kid but nothing else. I went over several pages on this site and i agree with everything chris has said to help people. I put a lot of thought about how i’m going to go through with my plan which is integrated with chris’ instructions. keep your head up man

Matthew

March 12, 2017 at 3:40 pm

Me and my ex dated for 2.5 years. We broke up twice in that time span. December was the second time we broke up. I had become apathetic and not very emotional and I realize that I was the fool for not letting her in. We talked a little bit here and there, about getting back together one day and then, eventually, her responses became more of “maybe one day.” During December/January, I went to counseling and to my local church to figure out what was wrong. After some strong sessions, I realized I had walls built around my heart and after breaking them down, realized that my ex was the only woman for me. A week before we broke up, she wrote me saying how she felt destined to be with me and that there would never be anyone else for either of us. Then on Valentine’s Day, she told me she was dating someone and didn’t want me to be blindsided on Facebook. I was trying really hard before then to try and set up a time and place to meet so I could explain everything to her, and this was a week before she told me about this guy. Now she’s in Nursing school and is really busy and they’ve only posted one image online (he did) saying how he loves her. It hasn’t even been a month since they’ve started dating. I sent her a shadowbox filled with all of our movie ticket stubs, photos, baseball game tickets, and letters she had written me while we were together. I asked her to have the courage to pick one guy over the other. She told me she didn’t know what to say because she loved everything I sent her and it was everything she had been wanting to hear but just wished I had said it while we were together. I told her I was going to be distant on social media for a bit because I needed time to heal as well but that I was going to fight for her. She told me she couldn’t do this right now, that she’s still hurt from me breaking up with her because she tried to earn my love and I still broke it off. I have explained all the changes I’ve made and she said that she still needs time but that she still doesn’t know what tomorrow holds or where she’s going in life. Any suggestions for next steps?

EGR Team Member: Amor

March 20, 2017 at 7:21 pm

Hi Matthew,

are you doing the advice above as of now?

Pantalon

March 3, 2017 at 1:52 am

Here goes.

At the very start of last year, I met someone online. After about two weeks of talking, we started camming. We both instantly fell head over heels for each other. We were interested in the same kinds of movies and series, both love traveling, agreed on many things, love the same types of music and we could literally talk about anything. After a few weeks, we got into a relationship. This was a time in my life where I felt at my happiest, I thought I found the love of my life, something I before never actually believed in. Anyway, enough back-story, haha, I am sure you don’t actually care about that. Anyway, at some point we made plans to meet each other in person. It took a while, because I had to make several plans and she lives in a whole different continent. At some point, she couldn’t take it anymore. She was telling me she had no reason to trust me, that we lived in different continents and that she felt too young to be in a serious relationship. I already ordered my tickets by then, so kept talking sporadically online, until I went over to her. When I arrived, we IMMEDIATELY hit it off, it was unbelievable. We couldn’t stop talking, touching each other, joke around, it was Heaven. After 3 weeks, we both took an airplane back to the continent that I live on, because she was going to study abroad over there (not the same country). The first few weeks were perfect. We visited each other regularly and stayed in each other’s country for 1-2 weeks at a time. At some point, she went into the ”I feel that I am too young to be in such a serious relationship” phase again and that she wanted to meet other people ”romantically”. Having had experience with over-reacting in relationships before, I thought I could keep myself under control, but, down the line, I failed miserably. I became the clingy, jealous, obnoxious ex that would not stop contacting her. That would constantly ask for reasons as to why she didn’t want it. That would constantly try to get her to cam with me, or go and travel with me. Obviously, this all worked against me. Which made me act even weirder, opening up about EVERYTHING I felt, every other day. For a while she wanted us just to be casual, still hang out and when we meet up it could be amazing, but I am sure due to how I behaved, it went all downhill much faster. When she went out with people, I asked with who. When she needed emotional support, I became jealous because of what she would tell me. It’s always horrifying to read back what you said and how easily it all could’ve been avoided. Anyway, we decided to give each other some space at some point, after another one of my moronic outbursts. This only lasted for 4 days at first, where I started to talk to her again, where she acted very distant and got mad again. Then after that there was a week of no speaking, where I again started the talking and she opened up a bit more this time and we got to talk like normal again. This went on for a month or so, talking to each other every other day, until she mentioned that she had been dating someone (who didn’t want to be in a Long Distance Relationship with her), where I was being a dumbass again. I tried talking to her several times after that, but she simply told me that she doesn’t want to talk to me anymore, that I can’t randomly start conversations anymore, or else she’ll block or remove me. After that, I said nothing for about 37-38 days, essentially going into the NC phase. After that period, I decided (stupidly, but it was Valentine’s Day) to open up to her again. She took it somewhat well but didn’t address any of the things where I mentioned my feelings. Every since then I came across your website and started trying to get her interest by using your text tactics. Mention something that reminded me of her, let her respond, wait a while before I respond back, then not say anything for a day, etc. This went well. She was still very neutral and sometimes gave me 5 word responses, but here and there a 30 word responses. Until we got about a week and a half/two weeks in, where she, out of absolutely nowhere, we hadn’t mentioned our earlier relationship or anything similiar to it at all, said: ”And another thing that maybe you should know, I’m not even sure if so, but.. Probably, hehe. I’m not single anymore.”. In my mind I panicked, but started doing something else to calm down before I’d reply. I basically ignored it and went on talking about other things we were talking about. This happened yesterday. Obviously, I am feeling nauseous, I have no idea who this person is, where she met him (she’s back in her own country now) and for how long she’s been with him (did she meet him during Carnival, just a few days ago?). I didn’t ask any of these things, because that would make things only worse, I assumed. As I said, I basically ignored by replying with an ”All right”. So, my question is, what do I do now? I am still unbelievably in love with this girl, even after all that and even after all this time. What’s my approach from this point on, to get her interested in me again?

EGR Team Member: Amor

March 3, 2017 at 11:48 pm

Hi Pantalon,
Just like in this advice above, just keep going but it will take longer to build rapport because she has a boyfriend.
Pantalon

March 4, 2017 at 2:04 am

Thank you for the reply Amor. But, after she told me that, how do I continue? Where do I go now with our conversations? What is the next step I should take? (I tried to order the book, but at the moment, PayPal can’t be picked as an option and over here where I live almost no one uses/has a Credit Card, but instead of that a Debit Card, which you can’t pay with on here.) So, if you can give me solid advice until I find a way to buy the book, it would be much appreciated!
Pantalon

March 4, 2017 at 2:14 am

And what exactly does it mean, that she suddenly mentioned him like that? She did it in a bit of an odd way, as if she wasn’t sure she wanted me to know: ”And another thing that maybe you should know, I’m not even sure if so, but.. Probably, hehe. I’m not single anymore.”
EGR Team Member: Amor

March 4, 2017 at 8:53 pm

She probably thinks you’re trying to get her back, so she’s putting her guard up. Just continue building rapport because you have to act like you’re not doing that and just being friendly, eventually making her fall for you over time.
Pantalon

March 6, 2017 at 1:12 am

Makes sense, thanks again!

I still need the extra help though. Regarding the buying of the book and what next step to take/how to exactly built rapport. I send a mail through the contact page a few days ago, but haven’t heard back yet.
Pantalon

March 6, 2017 at 3:25 am

I accidentally used my real name on the post before this, can you somehow change it to Pantalon too? I’d rather have this be private. Thank you.
Pantalon

March 7, 2017 at 10:05 pm

Hey Amor, a strange development has occurred. When we started talking after NC, we were slowly talking more and more (which was since the 15/16th of February). On the 28th, she mentioned that she wasn’t single anymore, which I didn’t respond to. After that I tried to build up more rapport with her, but ever since then, she has only given me a one word response to one of the ”general connection” lines (we talk via Skype when we talk, not texts) and has completely ignored the two things I’ve said after that. How do I continue on from this point?
Pantalon

March 10, 2017 at 2:54 am

Hey Amor,

I could really use a reply right about now.
Thanks in advance!
EGR Team Member: Amor

March 18, 2017 at 7:05 pm

sorry for the late reply.. your name was changed and about the rapport building, how is it now? If it’s getting boring, rest for a few days.. be more focused in your actvities again.. about the book, which one did you want to purchase?
Pantalon

March 20, 2017 at 7:18 pm

That’s all right! Yes, I thought that would cause some complications, my bad.

I’ve given her a week of space and will start building rapport again tonight. It didn’t exactly get boring, we started to talk again, slowly more and more, until she mentioned this new person she’s dating, after which she only gave me one word answers (I only said ”all right” to her dating this new person and kept the conversation going about what we were talking about before that). I’ve talked about the interests we share, casually mentioned positive memories that got triggered because of things that happened to me irl, etc. I’m always focused on my activities though. I travel a lot, I work-out (but I already did before we broke up), I read lots, hang out with friends much more, you name it. The thing is, I don’t use social media.. AT ALL. Perhaps I should create either an FB or Instagram account, so I am able to casually show her how I ”moved on”. What would be the right step to take after all this?

Regarding the book; At first only the ”Ex Girlfriend recovery PRO” one.
Pantalon

March 21, 2017 at 10:37 pm

Again, a few days have passed. I tried to start a conversation again (about me watching a show and it reminding me of when we first met online and neither of us believing it was truly us on the pictures we shared, adding a joke to it). She immediately took a look at it (I can see, because it’s on Skype) and simply ignored it, for the second time in a row now. What can I do to get past this stage?
EGR Team Member: Amor

March 27, 2017 at 4:18 pm

have you gotten a reply in the email about the book? talk about her more.. you should really have a social media account

Jim

March 3, 2017 at 12:26 am

My situation is a good breakup, but there is a new boyfriend in the picture. Some of the details of my situation are a little out of the ordinary. I am hesitant to post them on a public forum. I would rather speak to someone directly. I haven’t seen anything on the website quoting a personal Skype session. How would I go about arranging that?

EGR Team Member: Amor

March 3, 2017 at 11:39 pm

Hi Jim,

We don’t have that yet,but if you want, you can send an email here:
Contact

Jake

March 2, 2017 at 4:58 am

Hello so I had a girlfriend for a year. We had a very off and on relationship. We broke up maybe 4 times and said meh its not right. The final time was a month ago. The first week or so was good but the last 3 weeks all i can do is think about her. She was hurting and i was there for her, but now she has moved on and doesn’t want to talk to me. She is posting things on Facebook targeting this new guy and saying things like “we need to do this @soanso”. She knows i care about her and she knows i want her back, but she thinks we aren’t right and never will be. Im trying to work on myself as best as possible, because i did not reciprocate love to her enough. I let my heart win and begged a week ago, which i shouldn’t have done but i did. I heard she go pneumonia earlier in the week and told her i hoped she got better and that i hope she’s safe from the storms we had. She reacted with a thanks so much! im fine! im thinking about you and im rooting for you (“to get better”) 3 hours later she posted something on Facebook similar to the initial one. Im wondering how do i get her back, if i can in the first place? And what kind of steps can i do to make myself not fall into the hole of begging or contacting her. Thanks

EGR Team Member: Amor

March 3, 2017 at 12:23 am

HI Jake,

do you want to try the no contact rule?
Jake

March 3, 2017 at 3:27 am

Yes, im trying. But im afraid i will lose her to the new guy for good. And she makes my world.
EGR Team Member: Amor

March 3, 2017 at 11:54 pm

All the more that you should focus in improving yourself. If you stay, you’ll look like you’re chasing and you can be friendzoned.

Jack

March 1, 2017 at 7:45 pm

Hello. I’ll keep this brief. We dated for a year, fell deeply in love. We were both going through a tough time financially which introduced calamity in our relationship. We broke up once before now, where we were living together for 10 months, we both went our separate ways to other states. She considered us separated and that she needed time to think. Well, she thought about it, and I ended up driving to see her, we had dinner, had sex, and I left. Not long after, she says she loves me and wants to be with me. Then a month after that, she met up with a guy she used to know when they were kids who she wanted to be with badly about 6 months before she met me. The guy is tall, but poor with no direction in life. He’s like 27 and works at a convenience store. He also has a daughter. She said he made her feel “incredible” and that ‘socializing’ gave her more introspection about what went wrong with us before. We had no new problems since she’d said beforehand she loved me and wanted to be with me. I told her my MO, I block and don’t talk to ex’s. So I blocked her for about a week. Unblocked her, but didn’t get all needy. I explained why things were the way they were, and the guy was in the background disapproving of her on the phone with me. We cut the convo a little short, and the next day she calls me and admits they argued and he felt insecure. While that might seem reassuring, there were no new positive developments since then. About 2 days later I tell her I want to talk again to decide if it makes sense to continue talking/being friends. She gets rude toward me in our texts about talking on the phone again. Nonetheless, we talk the next day. She reaffirms it would “suck” if I block and never talk to her again, and got her to apologize for how she spoke to me. Except she was adamant about keeping this together hoping I’d later hire her for a startup I’m working with as she is also broke. Anyways, I told her I still I loved her and respected her decision, and made it clear that I wasn’t the same guy I was before. I also added though that I myself wasn’t ready to get back into a relationship with her and had to think about this more. What I didn’t like though was her opportunistic approach of wanting to control our relationship now as a “business relationship” as she described it. Should I just go NC for awhile with leaving what I said as sort of a cliffhanger? I didn’t follow the exact approach you laid out but also didn’t get needy I felt.

EGR Team Member: Amor

March 1, 2017 at 11:57 pm

Hi Jack,

right now you’re in the chaser position because she knows you still have feelings for her. So, yes, it would be better to start the no contact rule and to focus in improving yourself.

GARRET

March 1, 2017 at 6:59 am

Me and my girlfriend of 6 yrs broke up about 2 months ago. In about a month she had a boyfriend, I was devastated. Im on day 30 of NC and I started talking to her today. She started saying how horrible of a guy he is. I started to feel a little better but I dont want to just say can we get back together. I really dont know what to do. Should I tell her I still have feelings for her?

EGR Team Member: Amor

March 1, 2017 at 11:10 pm

Hi Garret,

nope, don’t do that.. build rapport slowly

Devin

February 26, 2017 at 5:14 pm

Hey, it’s Devin, so here is the story. This girl and I had been together through a lot of stuff. I’ve know her for 5 years and we had been togother for three of those years. About two and a half weeks ago we were fighting really bad so I said why don’t we take a break? We took a one week break that lasted about 5 days and we were making really good progress after the break ended about a week later she said that we really needed to talk…right then and there I knew something was up. She came to me and said she no longer has the same feelings that she use to have for me and broke up with me. She found someone else within a week and I was devastated as I was trying everything possible to get her back. She said the reason for the break up was because of the break and it ruining her feelings towards me. She’s with someone now and says he makes her feel special and I’m happy for her but I want her back. The guy buys her just about anything and I’ve come to notice he’s very controlling and possessive as in he doesn’t want her to have contact with me nor any of my family nor even her close friend who’s like a sister. I am currently on day one of the NC and want some advice on this matter. I know she’s the one and I try to keep busy as possible but when I’m not the breakup devastates me inside. Is there any chance I can get her back at all or is this really over? I need to know about how to go further on in the steps towards getting her back and about how long I should expect this plan to last. I plan to rebuild the friendship and build attraction as well. As it turns out my parents don’t like her and hers aren’t too fond of me either but what we had was truly special and had I know the break would change her feelings I would’ve never put us there in the first place.

EGR Team Member: Amor

February 26, 2017 at 10:06 pm

Hi Devin,

Yes, try the advice above because chasing her is not going to help. The guy is probably a rebound so focus in improving yourself.
Devin

February 27, 2017 at 1:53 am

Thanks I’ll try the advice and post results in a few weeks
EGR Team Member: Amor

February 27, 2017 at 9:04 pm

Ok, you’re welcome!

Devin

February 26, 2017 at 8:28 am

I was with my girl for three years, and we broke up about a week ago. Two weeks before that I put us on a break because we we’re fighting a lot. Then after the break we got back together only to find out that she didn’t feel the same love for me. She said the break is what caused our relationship to end. She found someone else and has decided to date them. He constantly buys her things and treats her decent, yet he seems very controlling and possessive. I want to try and get her back. Is there any chance at all I might be able to win her back. I’m not the best boyfriend and I make mistakes but the break was one that cost me the most. I’ve tried to buy her something’s as well and even wrote letters. I may try the above mentioned and see if it works I just wanted your opinion in the matter.

EGR Team Member: Amor

February 26, 2017 at 10:06 pm

Hi Devin,

Yes, try the advice above because chasing her is not going to help. The guy is probably a rebound so focus in improving yourself.

Marcus

February 21, 2017 at 4:05 am

Long story short, ex-gf and I were together for two years. I did catch her cheating during our first year, we discussed it and decided to move past it. Things spiraled out of control shortly – lots of jealousy issues despite my best efforts to diffuse the situation. We end up breaking up (she did via text) about a month ago. I texted her once during NC, she throws rebound guy in my face with pictures of him and her out having a good time.

She texted on Valentine’s Day with an engagement picture of her and rebound guy.

So… what do I do now? I could go into details if need be, but let’s just say that through the ups and downs, I was actually making plans to be with her long term.

EGR Team Member: Amor

February 23, 2017 at 5:44 pm

Hi Marcus,

but she’s engaged.. although she’s not yet married.. If you want, you can still try the advice above?

ADAMs

February 21, 2017 at 3:34 am

Hi, I just broke up with my long distance gf of 3 years about 5 moths ago. She was upset with me because I treated her badly (more bad times than good times). We have so many common interests and even promise to stay loyal, trust without any doubt, and love each other to the moon and back. Due to the past experiences, she had fallen in love with someone else (a guy in the same campus). After 3 months (from break up) of struggling to get back with her, she agreed to fix our relationship and stop contacting the other guy. After two months (from Jan 1st) in rebuilding our relationship, she said she can’t forget the other guy because she felt something special when she with that guy. Within those 2 months, we’ve never argued or got into fights. She also said that I’m mean a lot in her life. At this point, I don’t know what to do anymore. Some of my friends asked me to find someone else. Some of them asked me to find another way to fix the issues.

I just hope that she remembered her promises, and see the changes and goods in me. I’ve lowered down my ego, listen to understand instead of trying to counter back, give birthday present and so on.

EGR Team Member: Amor

February 23, 2017 at 5:37 pm

Hi Adams,

do you want to try the advice above?

James

February 17, 2017 at 5:50 am

Hi. About 6 months ago my gf of 11 years broke up with me..she was devastated when she found out that I had feelings for a friend (which I didn’t intend to; I immediately cut communication with that person). During the period after our break up, i tried to be still there for her, and it was painful for me to see that she can’t move on from the hurt although she said she had seen me change and already forgiven me. Another guy “friend” offered support and eventually they began dating. They are together now , but we still constantly contact and see each other. She said she wanted be friends, but she always wanted to give her new relationship a chance while I stay in her life. She talks about that maybe we can work out in the future, but not now, because she really hasn’t move from the hurt.

I hope she sees that I have really changed. I am determined to stay still, and just respond to her when she initiates contact. She freed up time for us to see each other next week, but I don’t know if it’s the right thing to do..

EGR Team Member: Amor

February 17, 2017 at 10:24 pm

Hi James,

not really, that’s like putting yourself in the friendzone to stay friends at this time.

Nash

February 15, 2017 at 4:03 pm

My girlfriend broke up with me around 2-3 months ago. Prior to that she had told me that she wanted space. It was very frustrating to me as she had a week before wanting space told me that she loved me and always wanted to be with me. I tried to remain as calm as I could, sometime dropping a text to see what she was up to but she was being really cold. It went on for two months until I eventually lost it and told her I knew about some things she lied to me about. She ended up calling me a stalker, told me to never contact her again and told me to go start fresh with someone else, she even deleted me from facebook. Ever since then I haven’t contacted her, and I have found out that she is seeing someone else, but this guy is to my knowledge just taking advantage of her. The only thing I have done is yesterday, making sure that she sees me as happy. Other than that we haven’t talked or seen eachother for two and a half months now.

I really don’t know what to do to get her back, mostly because she told me to not contact her again. What can I do?

EGR Team Member: Amor

February 15, 2017 at 5:34 pm

Hi Nash,

even if you didn’t talk to each other for 2 months, were you active in improving yourself and in social media? Does it look like you’ve moved on? Would she be interested if she sees your posts?
Nash

February 15, 2017 at 8:14 pm

I’ve been starting to work out and picked up studying. As far as social media, my Facebook is pretty hidden, you can’t really see anything there unless you’re friends with me. Besides, I was never active in social media to begin with.
Nash

February 15, 2017 at 10:12 pm

Not sure if my last comment made it through so posting again.

I started to work out and have been improving my health, sadly I started a bit late on that because I was really demotivated for a long time to do anything, but I have been for about 2-3 weeks now. As for social media, she cannot see anything on my facebook as it is very limited, besides, I never use facebook to post things or post pictures, once in a while change profile picture but that’s it.
EGR Team Member: Amor

February 16, 2017 at 11:15 pm

that’s good that you’re improving.. but you need to make your posts public now.. and post a little more than before.. even just one or 2 posts a week… You have to be, because when she gets curious, she will check that whether through her account or a different one..
Nash

February 17, 2017 at 11:59 am

I will do that.

I’m worried about a few things though.

1. We were only in a relationship for about a month, and then she told me she wanted space which I didn’t fully understand what it meant because most of her answers were arbitrary and she told me to “just wait”. I was really worried that something had happened to her so I kept checking in from time to time to see how she was doing but she kept giving me the cold shoulder. Most of all I just wanted to have a face to face conversation with her on how she wanted to do things but she kept avoiding them and I kept trying to get her to say something. That went on for two months until she broke up with me. A major mistake I made during those two months was to show her how sad I was without her, and basically flat out tell her that I couldn’t get her off my mind.

2. She’s 8 years older than me (I’m 23 she’s 31, going to be 32 this year), and she has a daughter. I’m worried that she saw me as a waste of time, simply because I’m still living with my parents (getting an apartment in this country is stupid hard, however she knew that I was living with them even before the relationship started) and I didn’t really have a good job (we worked at the same place though, Burger King, I no longer work there). Fixing those two issues (moving out and getting a better job) will require a lot of time and I fear that by the time I manage to fix that, she will have moved on completely.

3. She is like I said, with another guy right now. However it seems that it’s both a rebound relationship (because it seemed to happen VERY quickly before/after she broke up with me, she didn’t tell me about it until I found out from a friend who saw her with another guy, and I can’t see that she has uploaded any pictures on facebook or changed her status about it) + the fact that the guy in question is just taking advantage of her. I’ve had this confirmed by people who know him. She hasn’t even attempted to contact me once during this period, and she specifically told me to not contact her again when she actually broke up with me for real. That was two days before my birthday and it really seemed like she hated me at that point, but to my surprise she actually wished me a happy birthday two days later, but in the same vein, delete me from facebook. Pretty much everyone tells me to not try to contact her because she was the one doing the wrong things in the first place, and that I should just let it go for the time being and let her come to me, but I’m worried that that time will never come, probably because I think she is embarrassed over a lot of things.

Another thing is that, people have basically told me that they really don’t recognize her anymore. She’s become really mean and “like a ghost”. She doesn’t seem happy at all. Last time I recall her as happy was when she was with me.
EGR Team Member: Amor

February 17, 2017 at 10:35 pm

If she has moved on by the time you improved, that’s ok.. treat it as a restart. I’m not sure what your concern is about number 1, but all of these just goes back to you needing to improve yourself first and if she’s not happy with her current relationship, then that will make things easier for you to get her back because all she can see with yours is that you kept improving while she isn’t.

l.l

February 12, 2017 at 1:10 pm

hey
so things were going well from the start as we dated for like 3 months, then after that i start to get “tired” or somewhat lazy, i was confused with all the negatives mindset thinking that im not good enough for her, or want to be single. she beg me to stay, but i still can give her a answer till then, as time goes pass, she start to lose feelings for me, i wish she could give me more time to figure myself out as by the time i figure it out, its too late alr, she seems to fall for someone else, and told me that i have no chance anymore. i was completely lost, it was really painful, i want her back, i really regret for not appreciating her and cherish her well enough. i really want her back, but i know i got myself to blame. but its so suffocating, i really dk what to do anymore. until i leave her then i realise how much i actually love her. do you think i still have the chance to get her back in the future?

EGR Team Member: Amor

February 15, 2017 at 2:30 pm

HI Ll,
try to do the no contact rule first. Improve yourself and then continue improving yourself while you’re slowly rebuilding rapport with her. If it doesn’t work out, then move on.

John

February 10, 2017 at 1:41 pm

Me and my gf have been broken up for two weeks now and we were together for almost 2 years I just graduated high school and she is a junior. She broke up with me bc she said that she wasn’t happy and she didn’t know where our relationship was going. And I have handle it really bad so far she has blocked me on everything but I know she loves me still bc she was really upset when she broke it off but I think she is talking to other guys now idk I just really love the girl and it’s eating me up bc we had a connection ive ever had with anyone and I think she blocked me bc of that any help or advise?

EGR Team Member: Amor

February 11, 2017 at 1:03 am

Hi John,

did she block you because of the other guy or because she got annoyed with you? Do you want to try the no contact rule?

Waylen

February 8, 2017 at 2:21 am

Hey so my ex and I had dated almost two years and we broke up a little over a month ago. It was mostly my fault and we kinda hashed out our feelings afterward. When I found out she had a knew boyfriend a week later I was NOT handling it well. I was very emotional and put a lot of those emotions on her eich ik did not make me look atractive. We are in highschool and after taking a break from her I could tell that she was becoming more and more responsive around me and things were lookimg better. I texted her yesterday for the furst time in a while and she didnt respond. I found out today that its because her knew boyfriend doesnt like the idea of her texting me. Since we broke up shes said that shes “over it”, but shes also set off a couple of times which leads me to believe that she isnt and she is using her knew boyfriend as a sort of baindaid so that she can ignore her problems. She has been blindly running to him to keep from getting hurt and she wont do anything to jeopardize her safery net. What do I do to fet her to text me if he wont let her and she’s completely fine with that?

EGR Team Member: Amor

February 8, 2017 at 6:31 pm

Hi Waylen

do the no contact rule first. at least 30 days.. Improve yourself, be very active.. Because if you’re just present even after the break up, it can make you friendzoned. Do that first, and then slowly build rapport after.. She will probably text you after because she missed you and she knows you’re moving on..

Mike

February 2, 2017 at 3:35 pm

Hey

I’m currently in junior high, and i’ve been with a classmate of mine since freshman year. It has been one of the “cutest relationships of the whole school” as described by friends. Unfortunately we broke up before the summer of 2016, we stopped talking of course, but then we re-open our friendship back in the middle of the summer. I’m one of her closest friends now, we both have been over the relationship and we talk every single day. But it’s now 2017 and I jokingly told her that in the near future I would take her out and see if we can open the relationship again. Later then she confessed that she has feelings for a “sweet” guy she just met from another school. That confession actually broke up a piece of my heart and made me realize how much I miss her. Daily conversations don’t feel the same anymore, but we are happy every time we get together in a class, but is not enough I just read this article and I’m actually convinced with the master plan to at least make her break up with, at least I think, her soon to be boyfriend. So I was wondering if you could describe me explicit details of the master plan described above and how much time do I need to complete the NC Rule, which will be a bit hard because we see each other everyday at school, but I will get it done. Please and Thank you for your support

EGR Team Member: Amor

February 3, 2017 at 12:27 am

Hi Mike,

do at least 30 days and then focus in improving yourself. Your looks, grades, join new clubs and make new friends, work out and then continue that routine while slowly building rapport with her
Mike

February 3, 2017 at 10:12 pm

Thanks for the reply Amor, but wasn’t I supposed to wait a maximum of 14 days of the NC because we wouldn’t give much time to for the couple to evolve. My lastest update about the matter is that she only likes him. Thank You
EGR Team Member: Amor

February 3, 2017 at 10:51 pm

Hi,

I replied in your other post..So, Ill just paste that here too ok?

Oh sorry.. I skipped typing a thought.. I mean you’re still classmates right? you always see each other everyday, so it’s actually limited contact because you can’t just disrespectfully totally ignore her.. you have to reply polite but short and direct.. that way she’s already reminded of your presence because you see each other everyday..She’ll probably be curious why you’re distant and feel regret because as you’re distancing you’re also improving..
Mike

February 4, 2017 at 2:39 am

Yes, we see each other everyday, but we only take one class together, which is chemistry lab and the seats are actually tables with four stools each. Problem is, we have assigned seats and for pure coincidence I seat literally in the stool next to her, and she sometimes ask me for my help in class. So it would be unpolite to just ignore her. So how should I reply without making a full conversation based on my replies and how long should I make the NC then
EGR Team Member: Amor

February 4, 2017 at 2:13 pm

see, you have direct contact with her.. you can reply just dont be conversational..dont start off topics. just reply nicely, calm and casual. The important thing is she notices you’re drifting away and improving because there would be no sense of losing you if you’re always friendly right? if you want to do just 14 days of nc, I understand. You can do it.

V.A

January 31, 2017 at 8:14 pm

So hey, it’s V.A again, and thank you guys for your support.
I did the NC, and now I’m one of her trusted friends. My ex constantly asks for my support when she have troubles, she wants to hang out with me every days for the last 5 days and she opened up a lot about what was wrong with our relationship, and about her reason for leaving me. She said she missed me a lot. She also said she was sorry because her new BF called while she was hanging out with me, which made me a little bit upset. She said that I was the better option than her new BF, and she still has feeling for me. But she still wants to play nice with her current BF and refuse to break up with him at the moment. (They fought a lot because she said she was spending time with me). Right now, I feel really confident because I am becoming a better person, even than her current BF. So what should I do next?

EGR Team Member: Amor

February 1, 2017 at 3:59 pm

Hi VA,

keep building rapport but dont be too available. be active in other things when you’re not with her

Gerg

January 30, 2017 at 9:42 pm

Hey,

My ex and I were together for almost 3 years. It was a mutual split but we broke up for the wrong reasons. Since then she’s been with a guy who turned out to be abusive so they’ve been together for like 9 months now.

We haven’t talked for about 2 months during the summer, that time was enough for me to understand my personality and develop both mentally and start new habits and hobbies, like playing the guitar. Can we consider that NC? Lol

Since august we talked on a daily basis again (in secret) and once she even called me in the middle of the night. She never told me why but she had a fight with her boyfriend that night. She became distant and cold with me but she still had moments when she showed she cares about me.

A week and a half ago I was at a bar with a coworker when she messaged me the following right out of the blue: “We can’t talk anymore because I started to miss you. I’m sorry.”
I didn’t respond and two hours later when we left the bar she stood there with her boyfriend. They immediately started to argue because of me (to be exact: because I was there without any of her knowledge) but nothing serious happened and I had to leave, I didn’t want things to escalate anyway.

The next day I sent her a message “yeah, I saw last night. Sad that you see it as the only option.” She immediately responded and that hasn’t happened in a long, long, looooooong time. She said she wanted to protect her relationship but “that asshole is irrelevant now anyway”. So I asked if she’d like to meet because I’d have some things to say. She said she’s busy. The next day she didn’t wanna meet anybody yet. In the meantime we liked each other on tinder.

And the next day (last monday) she went radio silent. I checked out the facebook profile of the boyfriend, I saw they’re in a relationship again which wasn’t public on my ex’s profile for another day.

I asked her if we came back to not talking again but she didn’t answer and I got tired of the waiting so I sent her a long message explaining my feelings and thoughts on the situation and deactivated my dummy facebook account which we used to talk to each other. I saw she immediately activated her dummy facebook account to check if I blocked her or deactivated myself.

On Sunday I decided to check out if she read it immediately or it was just an accident but facebook didn’t show that she read my messages. I was really disappointed because I thought I deserve that at least. So I took a piece of paper and wrote down the exact same letter. I put that through their letterhole on their door (they live in a condo) today and left her a kinda angry message which was a mistake saying I think she should consider herself lucky that I haven’t messed up her relationship even though I felt disrespected. Turned out she read it immediately and she hasn’t even deleted my message. But she wasn’t angry with me.

In my message I basically said good bye and didn’t confess love like I didn’t say I love her but I think she got the message. So I said fine, i got nothing more to say if you don’t have either. And she said “no, I’m sorry things worked out this way.” I said “yeah, I’m even more, bye” and deactivated my account. She hasn’t even unmatched me on tinder…

Is this the end now or can I come back somehow?

EGR Team Member: Amor

January 31, 2017 at 5:09 pm

Hi Gerg,

I think, if you really want a chance, but I admit it’s small..Stop trying.. you’re now looking like you’re chasing her.. if you did 2 months before, do 3 this time..but make it the last time..and take it slow..be more rational

Brendan

January 30, 2017 at 3:34 pm

Hello, i really need some help & advice as i have made a huge mess of a relationship. In short i have known this girl for over 16yrs, we both made a connection immediately & became best friends which in turn grew into more than a friendship but nothing happened as we were both in difficult positions. Fast forward to 2008 & we found each other again & those feelings were still alive & she admitted that she was in love with me, unfortunately we were both by now married to other people, so again nothing happened & we remained friends. 18mths ago her marriage broke up & i was her support, she then had a 12mth relationship that broke up because he cheated but also she said she was still in love with me even though i was married. In Summer 2016 my own marriage & business failed & i was a mess, she was single & was an absolute rock to me & we spent a lot of time together, she told me how she felt & things were physical between us now, however emotionally i was shutdown, i struggled to convey how i felt about her & pushed her away. She was hurt & met a guy she worked with for coffee, but she hated it as she felt she was cheating on me, i was hurt by this & stuipidly did the macho you cant hurt me & said “Well im not your keeper you should see where it goes”. This hurt her & so over Christmas she had a date & this has progressed to a relationship. I have sinced confessed my true feelings to her & she is angry at me as she had resigned herself that there wasnt going to be an us, but in truth i just needed time to process my emotions. Unfortunately she says that this guy has done nothing but treat her like a princess & is good for her. She has also confessed that she is angry as her feelings for me havent changed but shes learnt to control them & feels she has to pursue this new path & guy. She met his parents over the weekend & that went well, her two young kids have now met him & his parents etc. However we were talking last night & i mentioned that i had been taken out for tea by a friend & she had what i can only describe as a meltdown, saying that she is shocked i met someone so soon & have had a change of heart & that “Soon i wont need her once im better & feeling loved again”. Truth is i only want her & have done for a very long time, shes like my best friend, confidant & lover all in one & i need help, am i wasting my time in trying to win her affection, should i give up? or can i fight for her, im in for the long haul, she even says that i will always have her heart but i was just late coming out with my feelings…can you advise me please??

EGR Team Member: Amor

January 30, 2017 at 4:14 pm

Hi Brendan,

if it’s late, then at this point you’re friendzoned right?
Jay

February 4, 2017 at 8:02 am

Hi guys, thanks for your useful advise. I been dating my ex for 9 months and she never broke up but I found out she is back with her abusive ex bf. She has a child in another country and is a single mum. We are engaged and out of respect I allowed her to make a decision which she said would help getting her child to the uk. I done a 14 day on contact and we have met up twice for dates and kissed but nothing more. It’s driving me crazy because she doesn’t want to give my ring back but has clearly moved on with her ex again. It’s been two month and I have arranged to meet again but blows me out. Maybe because she’s back with the ex but it’s confusing because we always text. Is it better to get my ring back and share why? Would be happy for your advise. Thanks you, jay
EGR Team Member: Amor

February 4, 2017 at 2:29 pm

Hi Jay,

what do you mean by sharing the ring? do you want to start a 45 day nc?

Eric

January 29, 2017 at 5:26 pm

So here’s the short and dirty. My ex and I dated for 7 months and we recently broke up. As of right now she’s dating her friend who happens to be a girl. She doesn’t want to admit that they’re dating to me and gets mad when she finds out I’m dating other girls.

As of right now she wants to keep contact and if I ever even. Do the no contact rule will more than likely block me from all sites. Any advice?

EGR Team Member: Amor

January 30, 2017 at 3:43 pm

Hi Eric,

so she wants you to chase her or she wants to friendzone you. Either way, it’s not helping you get her back
Jay

February 6, 2017 at 5:09 pm

Hi Emor,

Thanks for getting back to me, I lost the page I was on and just went back now to look, I sent the message around jan 2017. We don’t share the ring but she still has it and has not given it back or spoke about it, when we did in December she said she still wants it but she a clearly moved on and the situation with her son abroad could be a reason to her actions, not sure if you guys have dealt with a situation like this before?. So it’s left me wondering does she want to be toghter? I done the 14days and has worked so far, we met twice and kissed and had a decent chat. However now she has moved quite far into am area where she cannot get transport due to she don’t drive, it seems like her ex is very controling and maybe it’s his way of gaining control which puts her into this scenario. We have spoken on the phone to arrange a hangout, but no date is confirmed only for next weekend for now. Should I build up attraction until then and is it worth brining up what we do with the ring? This situation is confusing and disturbing me because she’s so far. Would like your support please, thank you for being there for all us 🙂
EGR Team Member: Amor

February 6, 2017 at 7:57 pm

dont hold on just because she keeps the ring because what’s a fact right now is that she’s with another guy and being there always despite that, conveys you’re ok being friendzoned..I think 14 days is too short.. how would she regret losing if she doesn’t feel that she’s losing you.. I think you need to restart and do 45 days

Alex

January 22, 2017 at 8:18 pm

Hey,
So my ex-girlfriend broke up with me about 2 months ago. Didn’t start texting until a month ago. Found out she has a new boyfriend and she started seeing him about a week after she left me. Her reasons were unclear and didn’t make much sense but figured she just needed space before coming back, which she never did. Anyways, I asked if he made her happy (because that’s what I want for her) -and she said only a few days and they argue and when they are in bed she has to think of me in order to enjoy it. Pretty sure this dude is her rebound because when we hung out a few days ago she seemed to be interested in me completely and admitted to still having feelings for me. I took her out to a nice dinner to catch up and see if I could win her back. At the end of the night she kissed me, but not like a soft peck on the check, like make out status kissing. I told her good night and she told me to call her when I got home. When I did, over the phone she told me how much she missed me, and how she wanted more. But when I told her if you want more then she could have me and how serious I was about it because she didn’t believe me. I told her you say the words and I’ll make it happen. She said “you’re right, I want to so bad, I want you, no I need you” but she won’t leave her boyfriend she currently has… yet.

I just need some advice on the next steps. What do I do now? Do I be patient and keep doing what I’m doing? She wants to see me again soon and I’m thinking of bring flowers when I pick her up… I’m a hopeless romantic who still believes in chilvary and try to show her that while being confident. Is that too much or just enough?

EGR Team Member: Amor

January 25, 2017 at 9:29 pm

Hi Alex
how would she value you if she knows you’re just there?

Alex Cole

January 22, 2017 at 6:13 pm

Hello. I really need some help here and would appreciate everything. My ex and I had a beautiful relationship of a year and a half. I know we were both insanely happy. Our only 2 problems were my anxiety and the literal distance between us. She got into a new relationship two days after she broke it off because she cheated. I just need to know like what my plan should be… How long should the NC period be? Before or after Valentines day? Can I still get her back? I really just need a sense of direction. Thank you for your time.

EGR Team Member: Amor

January 25, 2017 at 9:23 pm

Hi Alex,

you should do nc right away because at this point you have to accept that she’s in a new relationship.. So, it doesn’t matter anymore if it’s before valentines or during valentines

deba

January 21, 2017 at 11:06 am

Hello..actually we broke up just before 10 day..and she is having a boy friend also nw.truth is all happened to my fault only.i treated her very badly.and also the distance separated us…but she is asking me for a long friendship..but I want her back as my gf..should I follow no contact rule

EGR Team Member: Amor

January 25, 2017 at 7:34 pm

Hi deba,

yes, you should do the no contact rule

Anderson Silva

January 18, 2017 at 6:33 am

Okay so basically me and my girlfriend of close to 4 years broke up on November 20th over a fight that was stupid even though i turned out to be right about what I suspected but anyway she did nothing wrong technically . But anyway after the breakup I really was desperate and needy and acting insecure but before the breakup I was going through a tough time with anxiety and depression and my best friend being killed. Anyway about a week after the breakup it kinda turned more into a “break” she texted me saying she missed me and that she wanted me to be with her and stuff and that she wanted me to get help and work on myself cause I’m like the most amazing guy ever but I need to fix my issues with my depression and insecurity and stuff . So instead of just doing that I did that but I still was super pushy and begging and stuff everyday for like 2 weeks even when I would see her and drive us to college together then she finally bought her own car and I felt like she would really leave me for good but I kinda had hope cause she told me that she loves me and likes me and how perfect I am and she really wants us to work out and she told me by accident after the music went of in my car that she “wants me to make her feel like she made a mistake by breaking up with her” after that I should’ve just went no contact and give her space but nope my dumbass self kept fucking being pushy and after that 6 days later she told me she just wants to be single for now and then a day later I found out she is seeing some new guy from work. We had a big fight that involved her best friend and other workers and I said some stuff I regret and after that she told me to leave her alone and she blocked me on everything. Then I checked myself into a Counsleing place for my depression the next day and she texted me before blocking me that she still loves me and cares about me but that life will go on . So after that I didn’t contact her, but I really had bought a ton of expensive Christmas gifts for her and made a collage of photos on a big poster board from the time we met till now and wanted to give it to her still so I left a huge box of gifts at her door Christmas Eve (yeah I know I did everything wrong for like a month) but anyway she texted me that same day and I didn’t respond till the next day on Christmas day and we had a great convo and she said she loved the gifts but felt bad for taking them and said that the picture collage meant a lot to her and the letter and she would keep it forever. Then she said she would let me know the results of the ancestry DNA test since I got that gift for her. After that she randomly just stopped texting me and I was so confused? So that’s went I went to this website and learned about no contact and what not to do. I relaiZed I basically for a whole month fucked up and pushed her away so after that Christmas Day Immediatley went no contact mood. It sucked and was painful cause she apparently had a new BF with this little kid who is like a loser no car no nothing. But during the no contact for like a month I worked out a lot and lost a lot of weight and got in shape and got new haircut and clothes and improved myself mentally I literally was pushed to the limit to finally make all these great changes I even went on a date I felt great my confidence felt great. Then on Facebook the whole time I was extremely positive and posting amazing status updates of motivation and inspiration and it was going well! Then I saw randomly after 22 days she deleted a negative status she made about me on Facebook I was feeling great thinking wow she must miss me then yesterday I went to go on her Facebook to show my buddy something and I saw she randomly unfriended me a day before my planned end to the no contact I was shocked and confused. I didn’t know why she would do that. Then the next day I was feeling confident and wasn’t sure if she was sil dating this other guy cause she never posted nothing about him on Facebook . Then I finally sent me breaking no contact text after following Chris advice and I was shocked she replied but she gave me like a uninterested neutral response kinda like she was mad at me about something when I went into the second text I apologized for now I acted and thins I said last month and again she seemed uninterested and didn’t seem happy? Like soemthing was bothering her cause I can tell when something is bothering her. After that I was planning on sending one more text before ending the convo on a high note. I sent a text asking about the DNA results if she got them back and then she just never replied back. And went ghost again…..I’m shocked cause last time we talked on CHRISTAMS it went well but this time she seemed mad. And tommorow we start our semester of college again and I BELIVEE we have two classes together . What should I do at this point should I go back to no contact..? Did I ruin my chances,?

EGR Team Member: Amor

January 25, 2017 at 5:40 pm

Hi Anderson,
I think you should slowly build rapport while in school and continuing to improve yourself as well..

V.A

January 17, 2017 at 5:57 pm

Hi,
If you are reading this then thank you for your time.
I desperately need your help on my situation.
Let me tell you my story,
I’m 24 years old and she is 24 too. Me and my ex spend 2 and a half years together and I’m ready to take another step further with her. But something happened. We both got jobs and somehow drifting apart from each others. So one day, she just told me that she felt lost, and she need a break to reconsider our relationship. She wanted some time and space to be alone. She told me that it was because of me, I’m not the same person that she was falling for, I lost my sense of initiative, so she wanted me to take some time to improve myself and be ready for our time to come. So she tried not to contact me, or let me contact her for nearly a month. I was freaked out and I do everything to show her that I was not giving up. I changed myself, both outlook and the inside for the better, I tried to think the way she was thinking. But by the time I talked to her, she was dating someone else. She tried to hide it from me, but I found out through her friend and the other guy’s Instagram.
When I felt calm and ready to talk with her in person, she admitted that she fell for the other guy just recently (by the time I sent this, it would be about 2 or 3 weeks). The other guy, as she said, is very similar to her (The way she think, the way she see the world) and 100% opposite me. She told me that she still missed the time we spent together, and she still missed me and still have strong feeling for me, but she still felt lost and she wanted me to move on. She wanted to followed me as a really closed person, but not as a couple.
At first, I made some mistakes, I desperately begged her back. But then I changed my strategy, I showed her that I accepted the way she is now, and okay to be her closed person, but not as a friend. I even show her that I’m dating some one new, but that’s all, I’m not into anything serious. Basically, I provide her emotion support, and help her with some works. She doesn’t hide the fact that she and the other guy are dating, but she’s still hanging out with me sometime, without the other guy knowledge. Although she said she still love me, we even hold hand and kissed, but that’s it, nothing more, she doesn’t want to back with me at the moment.
After some pretty bad breakup, now I desperately wanted her back because for me, she is the one. So I wanted to know what does she really want, and how can we be back together. For the record, I pushed myself so hard to change and now I’m a new person, I found all the thing she loved from me, and changed all the things she wanted me to changed, even she saw the changed in me, but it’s seemed not enough. I don’t know what to do right now to win her back. Could you help me with my problems?
Thank you in advance and looking forward to hearing from you as soon as possible.

EGR Team Member: Amor

January 17, 2017 at 11:09 pm

Hi VA,

if she kissed you but doesn’t want to get back with you then you have to be distant and focus more on other things..So, that you wouldn’t look like you’re just waiting fornher
VA

January 18, 2017 at 1:57 am

Thanks for replying, Amor.
For the detail, that kiss happened only one. But after that, she can hold my hand, let me hug her, can be really closed (like, touching body), but If I try to do anything crossed the line like kissing, she will denied it completely.
So your advice is tried to be distant? Maybe a series of 3-5 days of No-Contact, and focus on other things first? How about dating? I’m currently dating someone, and my ex accidentally saw my message while we were hanging out. I wanted her to know that I’m okay without her but I don’t want her to think that I moved on already.

Thank you.
EGR Team Member: Amor

January 25, 2017 at 4:23 pm

you dont have to do a.series of no contact but you have to be more active in other things than her

Aiden Pierce

January 14, 2017 at 11:54 am

My relationship was 8 years long. I met my ex when my daughters mother left us both alone. I’ve been growing up my daughter with my ex since the age of 2. When my mother’s daughter left I had alot of hate inside me so I could never really open up to my ex, we didn’t have a good start because of the things that happened on my previous relationship I hurt her alot never gave her… her place, never called her my girlfriend in front of any of my friends, the last 2 years together I didn’t take her out as much as I should’ve, never really paid attention to her. Didn’t say I love you as much as I should’ve either. I don’t know why I acted this way towards her even though I really do love her. Don’t get me wrong we did have many amazing moments together even though she tells me we never had any. She says she can’t remember the good moments anymore cause there are more bad ones than good ones. She was great in every way with me, gave me many amazing thoughtful gifts, and tried real hard to make me change. She did change me. Anyways she left with some other guy says she is really happy with cause she was not happy with me anymore. We have been broken up for 2 months now, I have been talking to her everyday pretty much. I haven’t fought with her. I haven’t told her to leave her new guy, I’ve just told her that I would like to start fresh, that I’m willing to let all of it go, everything that happened in the past wont matter anymore we would start with a clean slate. A brand new relationship. Ive told her this alot like a broken record but all she has said is she don’t love me anymore that she misses me but she doesn’t feel for me anymore. Now this past week, been trying to do the 14 day no contact but she keeps calling me or texting me about my daughter to see her to do something for her birthday and this is what I’ve told her about my daughter. I appreciate you wanting to take her out on Sunday for her birthday. But right now I want to give my daughter stability and more than anything I want her to heal from this. I talked to her teacher, and she’s not doing so good academically. They wanted to know if everything was good at home.
I know you mean well and all, but I want her to know that I’m her father and her only family is us.
I do thank you for the years you gave her a motherly figure. I will forever be grateful for that.
When she’s a little older, she will reach out to you I’m sure. But for now don’t make it harder on her.
She’s hurt, and we’re building each other back up again.

She responded can I call her on her birthday still. And I just didn’t respond back. I want to know if I follow the no contact rule for 2 weeks do I have a chance with my situation? What advice do you have if she keeps asking me for my daughter? They are not really related but they were like mother and daughter. My ex never saw the best of me I know I made many mistakes but I have learned from them all. I’m more ready now for her than ever… ive remodeled the whole place we used to stay in.. ive work out 2-3 times a day for the past week… been eating better… been a better father… in a way I thank her for the pain it’s helped me step up my game. But yeah I would love a second chance to make it all right so she can see the best of me. She really did teach me left me convinced that relationships truly are about chemistry and not biology.

EGR Team Member: Amor

January 14, 2017 at 6:17 pm

Hi Aiden,

the two weeks is more for exes who have just started a relationship with the new guy,.in your case.. I think you should do 30 daya but if she wants to call your daughter on her bday.. I think that’s ok..as long as that’s the last time for now..

Damian

January 14, 2017 at 11:02 am

Hi. Recently, I’ve broken up with my girlfriend of over a year. We were in a long distance relationship and we were going to meet in less than six months, and go to the same university together next year. (She’s 18, I’m 17). She said she can’t handle the distance and needs a physical connection in real life, but this has never been a problem before and every time her and I have discussed it, she said we’re worth the wait. Recently she’s started going out more with a group of “friends” but hasn’t specified if they’re male or female so I don’t know if she’s trying to rebound or find someone new. I’ve been doing no contact since the break up, which is admittedly only a few days, but she’s been asking mutual friends where I am as I haven’t been on any social media. Right before she went out last night, she was asking a friend if they had heard anything from me. I just don’t know where to go from here. It is a long distance relationship so a few weeks of no contact will probably be for the best. I really miss her a lot and her and we had already talked about what the future holds for us (despite us being this young). Any help would be appreciated.

EGR Team Member: Amor

January 14, 2017 at 6:10 pm

Hi Damian,

be active in improving yourself..follow the advice above and be active in posting too

Ej

January 10, 2017 at 10:48 pm

I bought the ex recovery pro but still have a problem on what to do My ex left me because she said she fall out of love and she fell for a guy. Hey, I’m a lesbian by the way. So yes, that’s what happened. She said she want to have a family and a child cause she’s already 28.

We agreed to be friends that’s why she’s still texting me and updating on what she is doing but deep inside me I want her back.

She said that she has a boyfriend already, the guy that I’m talking about. But it is so confusing that I didn’t see any picture of them together. I mean I can’t guarantee if they are really together already. But that is what she said and I know that their feeling is mutual. But still she’s texting me to keep safe, to eat my breakfast, etc. I’m really confused!

I’m not texting her back because I started 21 days NCR about 3 days ago. But she’s texting my father asking about me and she’s saying that she thinks she need to stop texting me so I can really move on. Hey, I don’t want her to stop texting me. What should I do? And by the way, we are LDR. So I really need your help here. Thanks.

EGR Team Member: Amor

January 11, 2017 at 2:43 pm

Hi Ej,

Right now, focus on what you can control, yourself.. Be active in improving yourself because she will compare you to him.. if she can see that you’re starting to move, she would probably take a chance on starting out as friends again..

Daren

January 8, 2017 at 10:17 pm

My ex of 6 years broke up with me in June last year,we stayed in contact and texted for a little while.then she just wanted to be friends with me,as she said she didn’t love me like she had before. I still keep in contact with her daughter, but since the end of November I have found out that she has met someone at work, big row on the phone lots of nasty things said. Since this I have apologised. I have texted her so many times with no reply now I even wrote her a letter no reply . So even though I new she had a boyfriend, I went to see her, she invited me in we had coffeee I tried to talk to her saying I missed her and loved her and all the rest of it. Was asking questions that I shouldn’t really ask and she was being very vague . I found it very hard too leave but eventually left. Me and her daughter text now and again I offered her daughter a tv for her room and my ex said that she could not except that and I got her daughter to clean my house for some money now my ex is saying that she would rather her daughter clean her house. What’s my next move if any. Thank you.

EGR Team Member: Amor

January 9, 2017 at 11:40 am

Hi Daren,

stop chasing. Accept that she has moved on and start improving yourself instead

Phillip

January 6, 2017 at 5:07 am

How come my comment doesnt show??

EGR Team Member: Amor

January 9, 2017 at 9:46 am

Hi Philip,

this comment? It auto sorted to the spam section..

Phillip

January 6, 2017 at 4:55 am

I used to despise writing my own stories on these boards regarding relationships, but here I am. Seems like I loved this person that much.
Interested or not, let me tell you guys a really scary but cool thing that happened to me recently.
I’ve dated a lot of new girls to move on after breaking up with my ex girlfriend. But no matter how many times I meet a new person, I just couldn’t stop thinking about my ex girlfriend who I dated about a year. We used to stay at my house together, and our memories were great. But after our break up, my thoughts of her in love with a new person has been killing me until today. Of course she has the right to meet a new person, but doesn’t mean I should be happy. But after months, we were able to meet again, and she wanted to come back to me. That’s what I’ve been wishing for all along. But I couldn’t stay with her, I had to go back into the states. I knew I couldn’t take care of her since I won’t be near her. I hated the fact that she should be happy with someone else since I will be gone, but I had no choice.
Here comes the scary and cool part.
As much as she trusted me, she hated me for leaving her again, changed her number, blocked me off from everything. I had no way to figure out how and what she was doing. I tried to meet new people in the states, but just couldn’t forget about her. But one day I woke up from a dream, as if someone spoke to me in my sleep. When we were going out, she used to go to a fitness center, where a personal trainer helped her out with her exercise. She once told me that her knees hurt because the trainer made her lift heavier than she can. But I don’t even know who the hell or where this guy is. And in my dream, someone told me, shes going out with that trainer who trained her long time ago. She even dated another guy (not the trainer) after our break up (before we met again after months) so there was no way I could assume or hint that she may meet this trainer. But just one day, I woke up from this dream that she’s going out with that trainer. I had no way to check with her, since she broke off all connections from me. Recently my grandma got sick, so I had to come back to Korea. I wanted to have dinner with my grandma and someone that I loved the most in my life, so I contacted her through her workplace. We still remembered our voices of course. I asked her if she was meeting anyone. She said yes, so I told her about a dream I had in the states. She was so surprised, asked me if I had supernatural powers, and asked me how did you know. I was surprised too. The dream was true, and the time I dreamed this and the time she started meeting this person was similar too. Fortunately, she also asked me “out of all the times, how the heck did you contact me when I am about to break up with this person.” I told her, it seems like you are that precious to me, as if I really obtained a supernatural insight due to my love for her. But like stated on this website, she’s a good girl. Though shes at a break up stage, she said she still has a boyfriend, so it’s wrong and will be hard to meet me even once. And even though she breaks up with him, she wanted to focus on her work from then, so meeting again will be hard. So I told her, you do your thing, but I just want to keep in touch with her as her friend, someone who could be there for her whenever shes having a hard time. It’s hard for me to not think that she is my soulmate now, and will do everything to wait and bring her back. Do I have a chance?

EGR Team Member: Amor

January 9, 2017 at 9:45 am

Hi Philip,

yeah, I think you have a chance but I think if you ever get back together, she wantd you to make an effort for her even if the relationship is ldr..

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