By Chris Seiter

Updated on April 24th, 2022

Lately I have been noticing a scary trend among the men here at Ex Girlfriend Recovery.

Care to guess what that trend is?


Any guesses?



Well, it’s not twerking.


And no, it’s not planking.

planking tiger

Oh god, and it’s not vadering.


I swear, you guys come up with the worst guesses.

Anyways, that alarming trend that I was talking about above is this idea that your ex girlfriend is always going to come back to you.

Hmm… perhaps I should expand on that a bit more.

A few days ago i was talking with a visitor of this site through email (something I rarely do anymore) and he seemed to be very interested in my thoughts on his case.

So, I gave him the advice I normally give to men who are clueless at what to do.

That’s when he said something that got my attention,

“Oh well, even if I do everything wrong she will still probably come back to me.”

This got me thinking,

“I wonder how many other men out there think this?”

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Girlfriend Back?

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Turns out a lot.

So, I decided to put this little article together to not only answer that question but to also show you how to improve your odds of making her come back to you.

The Purpose Of This Page

purpose meme

The truth is that when I look at this page there are really two purposes to it.

Care to gue…

Actually the last time I let you guess you came up with ridiculous answers so why don’t I take this one all by myself.

Purpose One = Give you insight into the way a woman thinks after a breakup

It goes without saying that I will be answering the question on whether or not exes always come back to their exes after a breakup but I want to give you something more than just that. I want to give you useful insight into your girlfriends brain post breakup. After all, knowledge is power.

Purpose Two = Help you improve your odds when it comes to getting your girlfriend back

I have always been a big believer in percentages.

You see, when most people look at relationships and breakups they think the normal breakup things that you are supposed to think,

“Oh, poor person A”


“Poor person B they are so sad.”

I don’t think that.

Instead I see a percentage.

I often think to myself,

“Ok, this couple has a 30% chance of reconnection”


“This couple has a 70% chance of reconnection”

As it turns out, there are certain things you can do to improve your odds of success and I intend on showing them to you in this article.

Ok, now that we have that out of the way lets move on.

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Girlfriend Back?

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The Small Flaw With This Page

flaw meme

It’s not like me to admit that there are flaws on this website.

The truth is that I strive to have the best content on the web when it comes to getting an ex girlfriend back.

I like to think that I go above and beyond when it comes to articles like these.

However, I must admit that there is a small flaw with them.

They aren’t “all encompassing.”

Do you know what I mean by that?

They don’t take you from start to finish when it comes to what you are supposed to do to get your ex girlfriend back.

They just pick up at a certain point.

For example, this article is only talking about if you can expect your ex girlfriend to come back and what you can do to get her to come back. In other words, it’s talking about general topics and not the in-depth ones you probably want.

No worries though, I have created something that does take you from start to finish when it comes to this entire process.

I like to call it my PRO system.

Think of it like the ultimate step by step guide for getting an ex back.

If you have a question about any part of the process it’s likely that the answer can be found there.

Now that we have that out of the way lets move on and answer the burning question that has been in our minds,

Will An Ex Girlfriend Always Come Back To You?

love me

There are really two answers to this question.

The long version…


The short version…

Which one would you like to hear?

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Girlfriend Back?

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How about both?

Ok, I guess we can first start with the short version.

Short Version


Long Version


I have always wanted to do that and I figured now was the perfect time.

Above in the “short version” I mentioned that an ex girlfriend will not always come back to you.

It seems like common sense, right?

Well, you’d be surprised at how many men are too arrogant or overconfident to realize this fact.

Your ex girlfriend isn’t guaranteed to come back to you after a breakup, ok.

I want you to get that fact through your head.

When it comes to relationships women are motivated by a number of factors. These special factors determine how likely an ex is to return to a relationship with you.

What I would like to do for you now is take a moment and teach you about these factors so you can understand what is going on in her mind.

Factor One: The Connection


I put this one first because for women it is probably the most important factor.

Ok, lets pretend that your ex girlfriend gets pregnant.

I know…

I know…

Don’t freak out though this is only a fake example, remember?

So, she has this little baby growing inside of her body and she begins to develop this really powerful connection with it.

Every day (for the next nine months) it’s in her belly and this connection grows deeper and deeper and pretty soon she has convinced herself that she is willing to do anything for her child.

Lets fast forward a few years when her child is 4 years old.

By this time her kid is walking around and causing all kinds of havoc (but in a good way.)

With all the time she has put in to caring for the child the connection between her and her child has grown so powerful that nothing can rival it.

Well, one day she is taking her child for a walk down the road and her little tyke notices something in the street.


It’s a tennis ball.

road tennis ball

All of a sudden the kid has a gollum moment where it wants nothing more than to hold that tennis ball.

My precioussss…

No, just kidding.

Anyways, the child notices the ball in the street and without thinking runs to go grab it.

At that moment a car full of wild teenagers comes barreling down the road.

The music is loud…

The liquor is prevalent…

And attention is not very high…

In fact, they don’t even notice that your ex girlfriends child is standing in the middle of the road trying to get this tennis ball.

So, the teenagers are racing at a very high speed towards the child who has a deer in the headlights look.

Now, your ex girlfriend notices all of this and in a split second makes a decision that will forever change her life.

She races to save her child’s life and luckily is able to get there in time to save him…

But not herself…

The teenagers hit the mother going 60 MPH and kill her.

So, your ex girlfriend has sacrificed her life for her own child.

I guarantee you that if this was someone else’s child that sacrifice wouldn’t have been made.

Nope, it’s only made because of the unbreakable connection that she has with her own child.

Now I have a question for you.

Do you have this type of connection with your ex girlfriend?

My money is on the fact that you don’t.


Well, for one you broke up with one another so the connection she is feeling with you is a little spotty at best at the moment.

But you can turn things around but more on that later.

I need you to understand that for women having a connection with their boyfriend or significant other is very important. In fact, I think it can be argued that it is the most important factor. Of course, there are other factors out there.

Lets take a look at those now.

Factor Two: The Future

refrence yet

Lets take a step back and try to view this situation like your ex girlfriend would.

Now, I don’t know each of your situations personally.

To be honest I wish I did because I feel like I would be a much more effective “get your ex back” coach if I did.

But I can’t really deal with 10,000 situations a day so I am stuck speaking to you guys as a whole.

Anyways, from what I have seen the average age of your ex girlfriends is usually between 24 and 26 years old.

Again, this is the average age.

There are a wide variety of men who come to this site who are dating women much younger or much older than the 24 – 26 year old mark that I have set. Nevertheless, on average this is the average age of an ex girlfriend from a visitor of this site.

So, I am just going to go out on a limb here and say that your ex girlfriend is 26 years old.

Keep that in mind because I am going to switch gears for a minute here.

Do you have any idea what the average age of a woman who gets married in the United States is?

Between 26 and 27.

Here’s the funny part.

A decade ago women used to get married even sooner.

Anyways, what’s the point of me telling you all this?

Well, assuming that your ex girlfriend is 26 years old she has just entered the age where most women out there are getting married.

Her friends are getting married…

Her parents are pressuring her to get married…

Heck, she is probably tired of dating deadbeats who won’t commit so she even wants to get married.

Don’t think women care about this?

A few days ago my wife invited one of her friends over to our house.

Now, usually when she brings her girlfriends over I do my best to stay out of their way and let them talk about the things that women talk about. However, this time I had just gotten done with a workout and I really had no way of distracting myself so I hung around them.

Would you like to know what my wife’s friend talked to her about pretty much the entire time?

The fact that she wants to get married to her boyfriend more than anything.

Yup, she wants her boyfriend to make that lifelong commitment to her and she feels time is slipping away for them.

Women are very into the future.

Don’t think that your ex girlfriend isn’t.

If she doesn’t see a future with you then she isn’t as likely to come back to you.

Don’t worry though, I am going to teach you about the future a little later.

For now, lets move on to our next factor.

Factor Three: Looks

good looking

As many of you know I own two websites in the “get your ex back” niche.

This one helps men get back with their ex girlfriends.

My other one helps women get back with their ex boyfriends.

Would you like to know the biggest difference between the two websites?

It’s the fact that men (yes you) are much more swayed by a woman’s looks as opposed to women being swayed by men’s looks.

For example, in my book, Ex Girlfriend Recovery PRO, I talk a lot about something called the no contact rule. More specifically I talk about what you need to do during the no contact rule to improve yourself into version 2.0.

What do you think it is that women focus on most?



Because they know that it will have the biggest impact on their ex boyfriends.

Of course, men take the opposite approach.

They are under the impression that looks don’t matter as much to women.

And they are right.

BUT I will say that women can be swayed by looks.

Let me give you an example.

Lets say that a woman meets two men.

We will call them Jim and Joe.

So, Jim and Joe essentially have the same personality.

They talk the same, act the same, have the same principles and do everything the same.

The only difference between them is their looks.

Joe is very average looking,


While Jim looks like this,

neal caffrey

Now, taking into account that these two men have the same personality, beliefs and even talk the same which one of them do you think a woman is going to pick?

The good looking one, right?

So, looks do matter to women.

They may not matter as much as they do to men but they still matter and it can’t be discounted.

Factor Four: How Alpha You Are

alpha male

I can’t tell you how often I have heard other experts out there peddling the good ole “Alpha Male” theory.

The truth is that those experts are right, kind of.

What do you think I mean by that?

Most experts like saying stuff like,

An alpha male has X characteristic or Y characteristic.

The truth is that there are all types of alpha males that women are drawn to.

For example, when most men think of an alpha male they think of some buffed up dude who looks like this,

super buff guy

But what if a super buff dude like the one above is super shy and doesn’t know how to talk to girls?

Is he still an alpha male?

Of course not.

Being an alpha male is about a lot more than just looking great.

Believe it or not but I actually got this example from a real life experience.

I met my wife in Daytona Beach which is one of the more wild places during spring break (which is the time of year that I met her.) I remember there was one day in particular that we decided to go out to a local pool and when we got there the spring breakers had taken it over.

College kids were partying and having fun and both my wife and I were a little annoyed because we wanted some quality alone time.

Anyways, I noticed that there was a guy sitting in a hot tub with a group of spring breakers.

This guy was super buff.

I mean, he literally looked like a body builder.

But that wasn’t what I noticed.

Ok, maybe that’s not true. I did notice that he had a good physique of which I was a little jealous of but in truth he seemed incredibly shy.

Now, where I come from men who have super physiques like that try to overcompensate and act like they are the most confident people in the world. But this guy was different.

Instead of all the girls gravitating towards him like you would expect they gravitated towards a skinny looking kid who seemed to be rather charming.

In the hot tub it seemed like the skinny kid was the alpha male and the buff one was just there to watch.

(Of course, I was the true alpha male there but you don’t want to hear about that do you 😉 .)

I guess the point of telling you this story is that there are all types of alpha males out there.

So, when I personally think about an alpha male I don’t think about who looks buff and who is good at talking to girls.

The truth is I look for the attitude.

What Is An Alpha Attitude?

I am glad you asked.

When it comes to women beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

What I mean by that is that women are drawn to all sorts of qualities in men.

Some like humor while others like cockiness.

It’s part of what makes falling in love so fulfilling.

I guess what I am trying to say here is that every single woman is unique in what she prefers.

BUT there is one universal trait that every woman I have ever met finds attractive.

Care to take a guess at what that trait is?


How often have you heard a woman tell you that she is attracted to confidence?

My money is on the fact that you have heard a woman tell you that quite a bit.

Well, having an alpha attitude ties directly in with this.

Lets pretend that you woke up tomorrow and you suddenly had ONE BILLION dollars in your bank account.

All of your worries in life are over.

You can do what you want when you want to do it.

You can buy anything.

You can have anything.

You are as confident as a king.

You walk into every single room and think to yourself,

“I am the most powerful person here.”

You are very confident talking with women because you know that even if you get rejected by them you have a fortune to fall back on.

This is the best way I can describe having an alpha male attitude.

You essentially become so confident that nothing can touch you.

Making An Ex Girlfriend Come Back To You

love me

At the beginning of this article I did what I usually do when I write something long like this.

Do you remember what I did?

Any guesses?


I did a quick rundown of what the entire article would be covering, remember?

I basically said,

“Here is what this article is going to cover and then I proceeded to cover it.”

Anyways, the title of this article is,

“Do Ex Girlfriends Always Come Back?”

To be honest it’s a straightforward question that can be answered with a single word, no.

However, answering things with a single word is never my style.

I wanted to go above and beyond for you.

So, when I told you what this article was going to cover I obviously said that I was going to answer the question that this article’s title poses but I also mentioned that I was going to show you what you needed to do to raise your chances of making your ex girlfriend come back to you.

Now, you are obviously here because you want your ex girlfriend back.

I mean, the fact that you have read this far down the page is very telling.

We spent most of last section talking about the factors in men that women are attracted to. I think it goes without saying that currently you rank very low in all of these factors with your ex girlfriend.

For example,

Factor 1- The connection you and your girlfriend have is hurt due to the fact that a breakup occurred.

Factor 2- What future can you possibly have with someone when you aren’t together with that person?

Factor 3- Maybe the way you and your ex left things causes her to diminish how good looking you are (I will tell you about that in a second)

Factor 4- Alpha… More like Beta

Look, you are here because you want your ex girlfriend back.

I get it.

In fact, I am going to help you improve your odds right here and now but in order for me to fully help you I need you to do something.


Do you understand?

What I am about to teach you is so powerful that if you implement the things I talk about your chances of reconnecting with your girlfriend will be substantially higher.

But you have implement them no matter how challenging they may be to you.

Get it?


Increasing Your Chances Of Making An Ex Girlfriend Come Back To You Is Actually Quite Simple

theres a chance


That’s a pretty controversial statement, huh?

It’s the truth though.

Increasing the odds of success when it comes to getting your ex girlfriend back is actually quite simple.

It’s simply a function of understanding the game and leveraging that understanding.

Getting a girlfriend back is a lot like playing chess.

It’s very strategic and requires patience on your part.

However, just like chess ex recovery is like a game.

If you have a vast understanding of the way that game works then you will be successful more often than not.

What have you learned about the game so far today?

Well, you’ve learned that you can’t expect an ex girlfriend to always come back to you.

You’ve learned that there are certain factors that dictate whether or not a woman will come back to you.

Oh, and that if you can leverage these factors you can be successful.

That’s really the key to this whole game.

Finding a clever way to leverage the factors that I talked about.

So, that’s what we are going to spend the rest of the time talking about.

Leveraging the factors to your advantage.

In case you forgot there are four big factors.

  1. Connection
  2. Future
  3. Looks
  4. Alpha Male

What I am going to do now is go down the line and explain how you can leverage them to your advantage.


Lets switch gears here for a moment and talk about connection in general.

I want you to think about your life and the things that you feel very connected to excluding your ex girlfriend because I already know that you feel connected to her.

After you have taken some time to think up all the things you feel connected to I want you to take out a piece of paper and write those things down.

I have found that human beings in general are connected to things that speak personally to them.


How can I explain this.

We all have a way of being.

It’s what makes us unique.

Some of us like rap music for the lyrics while others like rock music for the beat.

Some of us like the Yankees and some of us like the Red Sox.

Every one of us have very unique connections to different things but the reason for those connections is always the same.

We connect with things because there is something in our personality that those things speak to.

Take the Yankees and Red Sox example I gave above.

When it comes to Baseball these two teams represent opposite ends of the spectrum and have some of the most rabid fans in all of sports.

But why are people fans of these teams?

My money is on the fact that at a very young age watching the Yankees or Red Sox did something for them.

Maybe they were having a tough time at school and were getting picked on but coming home to watch baseball proved to be an amazing escape for them.

The point I am making is that if you really want to understand what a human being will connect with you need to understand their personality.

This is important to know because it is going to be how you reconnect with your ex girlfriend.

Seriously, I want you to take a step back and ask yourself something,

“Do I really understand my ex?”

If you don’t then you need to because it’s essential.

What To Do When You Have A Full Understanding Of Your Ex

About 5 years ago I watched a 90’s movie.

There was nothing too remarkable about it but there was one quote in the movie that stuck with me all the way to today.

Why did it stick with me?

Because I sat back and thought to myself,

“Wow, that’s actually true.”

I’m a bit of a nerd like that.

So, what is the quote?

When it comes to dating what really matters is what you like, not what you are like.

Now, I hesitate to say that this quote is 100% true but there is a lot of truth to it.

We are connected to things we like plain and simple.

You know that phrase opposites attract?

While it is true sometimes it isn’t as powerful as the phrase “like minded individuals attract.”

Connection with your ex works in the same way.

If you have a vast understanding of how your ex is then connecting with her is simply a matter of aligning yourself with her beliefs.

You will find that you can reconnect with her much easier this way.

The Future

Above I talked about the fact that women are attracted to men who they can envision a happy future with.

Well, your ex clearly doesn’t feel that way about you right now.

So, the battle you are facing is how can you get your ex girlfriend, who sees no future with you right now, to see a future with you.


It is quite the conundrum.

But I think I have a pretty clever idea for you.

The simple act of envisioning a future with someone is a daydream.

It’s something that hasn’t actually happened but that you want to happen.

Your ex girlfriend isn’t going to daydream about someone who she has no connection with (which I talked about in the section above.)

So, before you even talk about a future with your ex you need to make sure you re-establish a strong connection with her.

Getting her to imagine a future with you isn’t that hard (as you will see in a second.)

But getting her to daydream about a happy future is.

It requires timing.

So, when is the correct time to hit her with the future talk?

Again, when you re-establish a strong connection with her.

But lets talk about what you can do to talk about the future with your ex.

I want you to send her this simple text,

Screen Shot 2015-06-29 at 1.02.18 PM

The text seems pretty simple but it’s actually a little evil in how well it works.

By alluding to a future together where you go to Hawaii (one of the most beautiful places in the world) you will cause your ex to daydream about the paradise with you by her side.

That’s pretty powerful.


Improving your looks is the one thing that you have full control over.

Actually, let me take that back.

It’s the one thing that you have some control over.

Obviously your genetics determine how you look but you determine how good of shape your body is in, your hygiene and your facial hair.

So, why not maximize these three factors,

  1. Shape
  2. Hygiene
  3. Facial Hair

Lets go down the list and talk about what women generally like when it comes to these three factors.

Of course, before I get started I do want to warn you that when it comes to women beauty is in the eye of the beholder. This means that not everything I say below is going to hold true 100% of the time for your situation. Nevertheless, these are the general things that women like in men and these are the things that I would strive towards if I was you.

Your Shape


How can I put this.

You need to be in the best shape of your life.

I am not saying that getting in incredible shape is going to solve all of your problems but generally speaking women are more drawn to men with aesthetically pleasing bodies as opposed to men without.

For example, when my wife sees an overweight person she turns to me and gives me this face,

ew face

Don’t make your ex give you the ew face… please.


What’s the first thing you think of when someone talks to you about hygiene?

Your teeth or how your breath smells, right?

While you certainly want to be brushing your teeth consistently you want to take things a step further.

Women are very drawn to smells.

Particularly things that smell good.

I mean, why do you think they flock to Bath & Body Works?

(Hint Hint: It’s not because of how pretty everything looks.)

So, what if that every time you see your ex she associates you with something that smells good?

Something tells me that she will become even more attracted to you then.

Oh, and even though you wouldn’t think it women are wildly attracted to men that smell good.

Facial Hair

Take a look at the picture below,

brad pitt beard

Do you know who this person is?

It’s Brad Pitt who is arguably one of the most attractive men on earth.

Well, at least the guy on the left is one of the most attractive men.

The guy on the right looks like a homeless person begging for change on the street.

Now, here is my question to you.

Which one of these versions of Brad Pitt will a woman be more attracted to?

(Hint Hint: It’s not the version on the right.)

Women like their men clean shaven.

It’s as simple as that.

Alpha Male

How does one become an alpha male and prove it to their ex girlfriend?

It’s an interesting question.

My best piece of advice is to focus on the health, wealth and relationships aspect of life.

In my book, Ex Girlfriend Recovery PRO I talk about this phenomenon I like to call,

The Holy Trinity

The trinity as you may have guessed is comprised of three aspects of a persons life.

And yes, those three aspects are,

  1. Health
  2. Wealth
  3. Relationships

The trick of becoming a true alpha male is to find a way to balance these three aspects.

I know it sounds really simple but the truth is that it’s not.

In fact, I have found that balancing all three aspects is very challenging. So challenging in fact that most men never accomplish it in their own lives.

But I would be happy to teach you how to balance the holy trinity in your own life and show you how to become an alpha male.

There’s just one problem…

It’s kind of a complicated process and I hate repeating myself since I have already covered it in great detail in my E-Book. So, I am going to recommend you check that out,	

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