Do Ex Girlfriends Always Come Back?

Lately I have been noticing a scary trend among the men here at Ex Girlfriend Recovery.

Care to guess what that trend is?


Any guesses?



Well, it’s not twerking.


And no, it’s not planking.

planking tiger

Oh god, and it’s not vadering.


I swear, you guys come up with the worst guesses.

Anyways, that alarming trend that I was talking about above is this idea that your ex girlfriend is always going to come back to you.

Hmm… perhaps I should expand on that a bit more.

A few days ago i was talking with a visitor of this site through email (something I rarely do anymore) and he seemed to be very interested in my thoughts on his case.

So, I gave him the advice I normally give to men who are clueless at what to do.

That’s when he said something that got my attention,

“Oh well, even if I do everything wrong she will still probably come back to me.”

This got me thinking,

“I wonder how many other men out there think this?”

Turns out a lot.

So, I decided to put this little article together to not only answer that question but to also show you how to improve your odds of making her come back to you.

The Purpose Of This Page

purpose meme

The truth is that when I look at this page there are really two purposes to it.

Care to gue…

Actually the last time I let you guess you came up with ridiculous answers so why don’t I take this one all by myself.

Purpose One = Give you insight into the way a woman thinks after a breakup

It goes without saying that I will be answering the question on whether or not exes always come back to their exes after a breakup but I want to give you something more than just that. I want to give you useful insight into your girlfriends brain post breakup. After all, knowledge is power.

Purpose Two = Help you improve your odds when it comes to getting your girlfriend back

I have always been a big believer in percentages.

You see, when most people look at relationships and breakups they think the normal breakup things that you are supposed to think,

“Oh, poor person A”


“Poor person B they are so sad.”

I don’t think that.

Instead I see a percentage.

I often think to myself,

“Ok, this couple has a 30% chance of reconnection”


“This couple has a 70% chance of reconnection”

As it turns out, there are certain things you can do to improve your odds of success and I intend on showing them to you in this article.

Ok, now that we have that out of the way lets move on.

The Small Flaw With This Page

flaw meme

It’s not like me to admit that there are flaws on this website.

The truth is that I strive to have the best content on the web when it comes to getting an ex girlfriend back.

I like to think that I go above and beyond when it comes to articles like these.

However, I must admit that there is a small flaw with them.

They aren’t “all encompassing.”

Do you know what I mean by that?

They don’t take you from start to finish when it comes to what you are supposed to do to get your ex girlfriend back.

They just pick up at a certain point.

For example, this article is only talking about if you can expect your ex girlfriend to come back and what you can do to get her to come back. In other words, it’s talking about general topics and not the in-depth ones you probably want.

No worries though, I have created something that does take you from start to finish when it comes to this entire process.

I like to call it my PRO system.

Think of it like the ultimate step by step guide for getting an ex back.

If you have a question about any part of the process it’s likely that the answer can be found there.

Now that we have that out of the way lets move on and answer the burning question that has been in our minds,

Will An Ex Girlfriend Always Come Back To You?

love me

There are really two answers to this question.

The long version…


The short version…

Which one would you like to hear?

How about both?

Ok, I guess we can first start with the short version.

Short Version


Long Version


I have always wanted to do that and I figured now was the perfect time.

Above in the “short version” I mentioned that an ex girlfriend will not always come back to you.

It seems like common sense, right?

Well, you’d be surprised at how many men are too arrogant or overconfident to realize this fact.

Your ex girlfriend isn’t guaranteed to come back to you after a breakup, ok.

I want you to get that fact through your head.

When it comes to relationships women are motivated by a number of factors. These special factors determine how likely an ex is to return to a relationship with you.

What I would like to do for you now is take a moment and teach you about these factors so you can understand what is going on in her mind.

Factor One: The Connection


I put this one first because for women it is probably the most important factor.

Ok, lets pretend that your ex girlfriend gets pregnant.

I know…

I know…

Don’t freak out though this is only a fake example, remember?

So, she has this little baby growing inside of her body and she begins to develop this really powerful connection with it.

Every day (for the next nine months) it’s in her belly and this connection grows deeper and deeper and pretty soon she has convinced herself that she is willing to do anything for her child.

Lets fast forward a few years when her child is 4 years old.

By this time her kid is walking around and causing all kinds of havoc (but in a good way.)

With all the time she has put in to caring for the child the connection between her and her child has grown so powerful that nothing can rival it.

Well, one day she is taking her child for a walk down the road and her little tyke notices something in the street.


It’s a tennis ball.

road tennis ball

All of a sudden the kid has a gollum moment where it wants nothing more than to hold that tennis ball.

My precioussss…

No, just kidding.

Anyways, the child notices the ball in the street and without thinking runs to go grab it.

At that moment a car full of wild teenagers comes barreling down the road.

The music is loud…

The liquor is prevalent…

And attention is not very high…

In fact, they don’t even notice that your ex girlfriends child is standing in the middle of the road trying to get this tennis ball.

So, the teenagers are racing at a very high speed towards the child who has a deer in the headlights look.

Now, your ex girlfriend notices all of this and in a split second makes a decision that will forever change her life.

She races to save her child’s life and luckily is able to get there in time to save him…

But not herself…

The teenagers hit the mother going 60 MPH and kill her.

So, your ex girlfriend has sacrificed her life for her own child.

I guarantee you that if this was someone else’s child that sacrifice wouldn’t have been made.

Nope, it’s only made because of the unbreakable connection that she has with her own child.

Now I have a question for you.

Do you have this type of connection with your ex girlfriend?

My money is on the fact that you don’t.


Well, for one you broke up with one another so the connection she is feeling with you is a little spotty at best at the moment.

But you can turn things around but more on that later.

I need you to understand that for women having a connection with their boyfriend or significant other is very important. In fact, I think it can be argued that it is the most important factor. Of course, there are other factors out there.

Lets take a look at those now.

Factor Two: The Future

refrence yet

Lets take a step back and try to view this situation like your ex girlfriend would.

Now, I don’t know each of your situations personally.

To be honest I wish I did because I feel like I would be a much more effective “get your ex back” coach if I did.

But I can’t really deal with 10,000 situations a day so I am stuck speaking to you guys as a whole.

Anyways, from what I have seen the average age of your ex girlfriends is usually between 24 and 26 years old.

Again, this is the average age.

There are a wide variety of men who come to this site who are dating women much younger or much older than the 24 – 26 year old mark that I have set. Nevertheless, on average this is the average age of an ex girlfriend from a visitor of this site.

So, I am just going to go out on a limb here and say that your ex girlfriend is 26 years old.

Keep that in mind because I am going to switch gears for a minute here.

Do you have any idea what the average age of a woman who gets married in the United States is?

Between 26 and 27.

Here’s the funny part.

A decade ago women used to get married even sooner.

Anyways, what’s the point of me telling you all this?

Well, assuming that your ex girlfriend is 26 years old she has just entered the age where most women out there are getting married.

Her friends are getting married…

Her parents are pressuring her to get married…

Heck, she is probably tired of dating deadbeats who won’t commit so she even wants to get married.

Don’t think women care about this?

A few days ago my wife invited one of her friends over to our house.

Now, usually when she brings her girlfriends over I do my best to stay out of their way and let them talk about the things that women talk about. However, this time I had just gotten done with a workout and I really had no way of distracting myself so I hung around them.

Would you like to know what my wife’s friend talked to her about pretty much the entire time?

The fact that she wants to get married to her boyfriend more than anything.

Yup, she wants her boyfriend to make that lifelong commitment to her and she feels time is slipping away for them.

Women are very into the future.

Don’t think that your ex girlfriend isn’t.

If she doesn’t see a future with you then she isn’t as likely to come back to you.

Don’t worry though, I am going to teach you about the future a little later.

For now, lets move on to our next factor.

Factor Three: Looks

good looking

As many of you know I own two websites in the “get your ex back” niche.

This one helps men get back with their ex girlfriends.

My other one helps women get back with their ex boyfriends.

Would you like to know the biggest difference between the two websites?

It’s the fact that men (yes you) are much more swayed by a woman’s looks as opposed to women being swayed by men’s looks.

For example, in my book, Ex Girlfriend Recovery PRO, I talk a lot about something called the no contact rule. More specifically I talk about what you need to do during the no contact rule to improve yourself into version 2.0.

What do you think it is that women focus on most?



Because they know that it will have the biggest impact on their ex boyfriends.

Of course, men take the opposite approach.

They are under the impression that looks don’t matter as much to women.

And they are right.

BUT I will say that women can be swayed by looks.

Let me give you an example.

Lets say that a woman meets two men.

We will call them Jim and Joe.

So, Jim and Joe essentially have the same personality.

They talk the same, act the same, have the same principles and do everything the same.

The only difference between them is their looks.

Joe is very average looking,


While Jim looks like this,

neal caffrey

Now, taking into account that these two men have the same personality, beliefs and even talk the same which one of them do you think a woman is going to pick?

The good looking one, right?

So, looks do matter to women.

They may not matter as much as they do to men but they still matter and it can’t be discounted.

Factor Four: How Alpha You Are

alpha male

I can’t tell you how often I have heard other experts out there peddling the good ole “Alpha Male” theory.

The truth is that those experts are right, kind of.

What do you think I mean by that?

Most experts like saying stuff like,

An alpha male has X characteristic or Y characteristic.

The truth is that there are all types of alpha males that women are drawn to.

For example, when most men think of an alpha male they think of some buffed up dude who looks like this,

super buff guy

But what if a super buff dude like the one above is super shy and doesn’t know how to talk to girls?

Is he still an alpha male?

Of course not.

Being an alpha male is about a lot more than just looking great.

Believe it or not but I actually got this example from a real life experience.

I met my wife in Daytona Beach which is one of the more wild places during spring break (which is the time of year that I met her.) I remember there was one day in particular that we decided to go out to a local pool and when we got there the spring breakers had taken it over.

College kids were partying and having fun and both my wife and I were a little annoyed because we wanted some quality alone time.

Anyways, I noticed that there was a guy sitting in a hot tub with a group of spring breakers.

This guy was super buff.

I mean, he literally looked like a body builder.

But that wasn’t what I noticed.

Ok, maybe that’s not true. I did notice that he had a good physique of which I was a little jealous of but in truth he seemed incredibly shy.

Now, where I come from men who have super physiques like that try to overcompensate and act like they are the most confident people in the world. But this guy was different.

Instead of all the girls gravitating towards him like you would expect they gravitated towards a skinny looking kid who seemed to be rather charming.

In the hot tub it seemed like the skinny kid was the alpha male and the buff one was just there to watch.

(Of course, I was the true alpha male there but you don’t want to hear about that do you 😉 .)

I guess the point of telling you this story is that there are all types of alpha males out there.

So, when I personally think about an alpha male I don’t think about who looks buff and who is good at talking to girls.

The truth is I look for the attitude.

What Is An Alpha Attitude?

I am glad you asked.

When it comes to women beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

What I mean by that is that women are drawn to all sorts of qualities in men.

Some like humor while others like cockiness.

It’s part of what makes falling in love so fulfilling.

I guess what I am trying to say here is that every single woman is unique in what she prefers.

BUT there is one universal trait that every woman I have ever met finds attractive.

Care to take a guess at what that trait is?


How often have you heard a woman tell you that she is attracted to confidence?

My money is on the fact that you have heard a woman tell you that quite a bit.

Well, having an alpha attitude ties directly in with this.

Lets pretend that you woke up tomorrow and you suddenly had ONE BILLION dollars in your bank account.

All of your worries in life are over.

You can do what you want when you want to do it.

You can buy anything.

You can have anything.

You are as confident as a king.

You walk into every single room and think to yourself,

“I am the most powerful person here.”

You are very confident talking with women because you know that even if you get rejected by them you have a fortune to fall back on.

This is the best way I can describe having an alpha male attitude.

You essentially become so confident that nothing can touch you.

Making An Ex Girlfriend Come Back To You

love me

At the beginning of this article I did what I usually do when I write something long like this.

Do you remember what I did?

Any guesses?


I did a quick rundown of what the entire article would be covering, remember?

I basically said,

“Here is what this article is going to cover and then I proceeded to cover it.”

Anyways, the title of this article is,

“Do Ex Girlfriends Always Come Back?”

To be honest it’s a straightforward question that can be answered with a single word, no.

However, answering things with a single word is never my style.

I wanted to go above and beyond for you.

So, when I told you what this article was going to cover I obviously said that I was going to answer the question that this article’s title poses but I also mentioned that I was going to show you what you needed to do to raise your chances of making your ex girlfriend come back to you.

Now, you are obviously here because you want your ex girlfriend back.

I mean, the fact that you have read this far down the page is very telling.

We spent most of last section talking about the factors in men that women are attracted to. I think it goes without saying that currently you rank very low in all of these factors with your ex girlfriend.

For example,

Factor 1- The connection you and your girlfriend have is hurt due to the fact that a breakup occurred.

Factor 2- What future can you possibly have with someone when you aren’t together with that person?

Factor 3- Maybe the way you and your ex left things causes her to diminish how good looking you are (I will tell you about that in a second)

Factor 4- Alpha… More like Beta

Look, you are here because you want your ex girlfriend back.

I get it.

In fact, I am going to help you improve your odds right here and now but in order for me to fully help you I need you to do something.


Do you understand?

What I am about to teach you is so powerful that if you implement the things I talk about your chances of reconnecting with your girlfriend will be substantially higher.

But you have implement them no matter how challenging they may be to you.

Get it?


Increasing Your Chances Of Making An Ex Girlfriend Come Back To You Is Actually Quite Simple

theres a chance


That’s a pretty controversial statement, huh?

It’s the truth though.

Increasing the odds of success when it comes to getting your ex girlfriend back is actually quite simple.

It’s simply a function of understanding the game and leveraging that understanding.

Getting a girlfriend back is a lot like playing chess.

It’s very strategic and requires patience on your part.

However, just like chess ex recovery is like a game.

If you have a vast understanding of the way that game works then you will be successful more often than not.

What have you learned about the game so far today?

Well, you’ve learned that you can’t expect an ex girlfriend to always come back to you.

You’ve learned that there are certain factors that dictate whether or not a woman will come back to you.

Oh, and that if you can leverage these factors you can be successful.

That’s really the key to this whole game.

Finding a clever way to leverage the factors that I talked about.

So, that’s what we are going to spend the rest of the time talking about.

Leveraging the factors to your advantage.

In case you forgot there are four big factors.

  1. Connection
  2. Future
  3. Looks
  4. Alpha Male

What I am going to do now is go down the line and explain how you can leverage them to your advantage.


Lets switch gears here for a moment and talk about connection in general.

I want you to think about your life and the things that you feel very connected to excluding your ex girlfriend because I already know that you feel connected to her.

After you have taken some time to think up all the things you feel connected to I want you to take out a piece of paper and write those things down.

I have found that human beings in general are connected to things that speak personally to them.


How can I explain this.

We all have a way of being.

It’s what makes us unique.

Some of us like rap music for the lyrics while others like rock music for the beat.

Some of us like the Yankees and some of us like the Red Sox.

Every one of us have very unique connections to different things but the reason for those connections is always the same.

We connect with things because there is something in our personality that those things speak to.

Take the Yankees and Red Sox example I gave above.

When it comes to Baseball these two teams represent opposite ends of the spectrum and have some of the most rabid fans in all of sports.

But why are people fans of these teams?

My money is on the fact that at a very young age watching the Yankees or Red Sox did something for them.

Maybe they were having a tough time at school and were getting picked on but coming home to watch baseball proved to be an amazing escape for them.

The point I am making is that if you really want to understand what a human being will connect with you need to understand their personality.

This is important to know because it is going to be how you reconnect with your ex girlfriend.

Seriously, I want you to take a step back and ask yourself something,

“Do I really understand my ex?”

If you don’t then you need to because it’s essential.

What To Do When You Have A Full Understanding Of Your Ex

About 5 years ago I watched a 90’s movie.

There was nothing too remarkable about it but there was one quote in the movie that stuck with me all the way to today.

Why did it stick with me?

Because I sat back and thought to myself,

“Wow, that’s actually true.”

I’m a bit of a nerd like that.

So, what is the quote?

When it comes to dating what really matters is what you like, not what you are like.

Now, I hesitate to say that this quote is 100% true but there is a lot of truth to it.

We are connected to things we like plain and simple.

You know that phrase opposites attract?

While it is true sometimes it isn’t as powerful as the phrase “like minded individuals attract.”

Connection with your ex works in the same way.

If you have a vast understanding of how your ex is then connecting with her is simply a matter of aligning yourself with her beliefs.

You will find that you can reconnect with her much easier this way.

The Future

Above I talked about the fact that women are attracted to men who they can envision a happy future with.

Well, your ex clearly doesn’t feel that way about you right now.

So, the battle you are facing is how can you get your ex girlfriend, who sees no future with you right now, to see a future with you.


It is quite the conundrum.

But I think I have a pretty clever idea for you.

The simple act of envisioning a future with someone is a daydream.

It’s something that hasn’t actually happened but that you want to happen.

Your ex girlfriend isn’t going to daydream about someone who she has no connection with (which I talked about in the section above.)

So, before you even talk about a future with your ex you need to make sure you re-establish a strong connection with her.

Getting her to imagine a future with you isn’t that hard (as you will see in a second.)

But getting her to daydream about a happy future is.

It requires timing.

So, when is the correct time to hit her with the future talk?

Again, when you re-establish a strong connection with her.

But lets talk about what you can do to talk about the future with your ex.

I want you to send her this simple text,

Screen Shot 2015-06-29 at 1.02.18 PM

The text seems pretty simple but it’s actually a little evil in how well it works.

By alluding to a future together where you go to Hawaii (one of the most beautiful places in the world) you will cause your ex to daydream about the paradise with you by her side.

That’s pretty powerful.


Improving your looks is the one thing that you have full control over.

Actually, let me take that back.

It’s the one thing that you have some control over.

Obviously your genetics determine how you look but you determine how good of shape your body is in, your hygiene and your facial hair.

So, why not maximize these three factors,

  1. Shape
  2. Hygiene
  3. Facial Hair

Lets go down the list and talk about what women generally like when it comes to these three factors.

Of course, before I get started I do want to warn you that when it comes to women beauty is in the eye of the beholder. This means that not everything I say below is going to hold true 100% of the time for your situation. Nevertheless, these are the general things that women like in men and these are the things that I would strive towards if I was you.

Your Shape


How can I put this.

You need to be in the best shape of your life.

I am not saying that getting in incredible shape is going to solve all of your problems but generally speaking women are more drawn to men with aesthetically pleasing bodies as opposed to men without.

For example, when my wife sees an overweight person she turns to me and gives me this face,

ew face

Don’t make your ex give you the ew face… please.


What’s the first thing you think of when someone talks to you about hygiene?

Your teeth or how your breath smells, right?

While you certainly want to be brushing your teeth consistently you want to take things a step further.

Women are very drawn to smells.

Particularly things that smell good.

I mean, why do you think they flock to Bath & Body Works?

(Hint Hint: It’s not because of how pretty everything looks.)

So, what if that every time you see your ex she associates you with something that smells good?

Something tells me that she will become even more attracted to you then.

Oh, and even though you wouldn’t think it women are wildly attracted to men that smell good.

Facial Hair

Take a look at the picture below,

brad pitt beard

Do you know who this person is?

It’s Brad Pitt who is arguably one of the most attractive men on earth.

Well, at least the guy on the left is one of the most attractive men.

The guy on the right looks like a homeless person begging for change on the street.

Now, here is my question to you.

Which one of these versions of Brad Pitt will a woman be more attracted to?

(Hint Hint: It’s not the version on the right.)

Women like their men clean shaven.

It’s as simple as that.

Alpha Male

How does one become an alpha male and prove it to their ex girlfriend?

It’s an interesting question.

My best piece of advice is to focus on the health, wealth and relationships aspect of life.

In my book, Ex Girlfriend Recovery PRO I talk about this phenomenon I like to call,

The Holy Trinity

The trinity as you may have guessed is comprised of three aspects of a persons life.

And yes, those three aspects are,

  1. Health
  2. Wealth
  3. Relationships

The trick of becoming a true alpha male is to find a way to balance these three aspects.

I know it sounds really simple but the truth is that it’s not.

In fact, I have found that balancing all three aspects is very challenging. So challenging in fact that most men never accomplish it in their own lives.

But I would be happy to teach you how to balance the holy trinity in your own life and show you how to become an alpha male.

There’s just one problem…

It’s kind of a complicated process and I hate repeating myself since I have already covered it in great detail in my E-Book. So, I am going to recommend you check that out,


Written by EGR team mate

Chris Seiter

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109 Comments on "Do Ex Girlfriends Always Come Back?"

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Broken up for 10 months. Probably the most dramatic breakup ever. Blocked me and changed number because she was over me and I had mental issues at the time. She loved me more than anything and we had a unique relationship. Has not talked to me since even though I reached out to her every two months through email the only thing she didn’t block me from (first 2 months begged to an extreme amount). So question is, do they ever come back after a 6 month nc after something so extreme like our breakup? Doing 6 months because I… Read more »

I bought a gift for her birthday. Is giving it to her breaking the NC rule? Someone else would be giving it to her though

EGR Team Member: Amor
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi John,

Yep, it is..

I got dumped by my girlfriend almost a week ago, who said she does not want to continue this relationship anymore. Her reasoning being that it was hard for her, because she saw no future together. We are different ethnicity, have different religion, and our thought process was very different. I tried to make it work, being my first relationship and her third serious one. We had a talk about our future together, but both agreed on it being a very low chance of getting married, and even if we do get married, we will get a divorce within a… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
EGR Team Member: Amor
Hello it’s been a about a month since my girl freind told me she didn’t want a relationship anymore things were pretty bad towards the end of your relationship we dated for almost two years we would break up sometimes in between and then get back together again the next day but this frequency increased towards the end. The reason she gave me was she couldn’t handle a relationship (her Med school was starting, her parents don’t want her dating, she can’t come out often) but after the breakup initially even I had agreed thinking I was going out of… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
EGR Team Member: Amor
My girlfriend left me a week ago and started seeing her ex again, the issue here is that she didn’t see a future with her ex before and her family wasn’t too fond of him. Mind you my girlfriend and i were happily/madly in love together for 3 years and she lost her v to me. So she is now with her ex, who lives in another country, but might fly down to make the relationship work. During the breakup, my ex girlfriend also told me that we weren’t right for each other because we would always bump heads and… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
EGR Team Member: Amor

she found her ex as a grass is greener option..check this one:
My Ex Girlfriend Dumped Me For Another Guy…

Hi there, I have commented on this site about a month ago to a different article but my situation has since changed and am looking for advice. My ex girlfriend and I dated for over 4 years. In February(just over a month ago) we broke up because my previous ex sent her nasty emails disguising herself as me and making it look like I wanted her back, my now recent ex believed it since it looked convincing and said she couldn’t trust me anymore. I made the mistake of begging and pleading right after the breakup and for about a… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Brian,
if your ex didn’t do that, would she have broken up with you still? If yes, she did cheat emotionally. If not, that means the guy is probably just a rebound.. Right now, your chances of getting her back will only be higher if you build rapport slowly and continue to improve yourself at the same time..

Thank you for your reply, I am not sure if she would have still left me. She said she loved me right up until our breakup and we of course had our problems in the relationship but I felt we were happy. She seemed a little distant and it was after our breakup I noticed her and her “friend” now boyfriend, flirting on social media a month prior. I’m 45 days of NC and she hasn’t reached out and seems happy with him now. I’m also blocked on all forms of contact so I don’t know how to build a… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
EGR Team Member: Amor

set a limit until when you would wait before moving on

I got to say female exes do come back on my experience my first two girlfriends came back how did this happen well after I got dump with the first one nothing happen tho until I got dump by the second one that very first day we’ll actually a month later my first ex contacted my with a Big Bang let’s get married she actually proposed to me she was really convincing I won’t go to much in details for it would be a long comment we’ll I denied the marriage proposal after a week of hard consideration, then my… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Leon,

what’s stopping you from getting back with your 2nd ex?

Hello, after a 5 year relationship my ex fiance broke up with me saying its not going to work out anymore, we tried to work things out but her willingness was absent. I did the begging and pleading but it was no use and it was worthless. We probably broke up because her friends kept telling her that she needs a drastic change in her life and she can do better and dont trust a bad phase because relationships should not have any bad phases. we initially broke up in November and kept slight contact she stated she wants me… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Tiqo,

5 years is hard to forget, the next relationship would probably be a rebound. For now, did you improve yourself in the past 3 weeks? Since you begged, I think you should do 45 days and if you didn’t improve yourself in the last 3 weeks and weren’t active in posting in social media, you should restart the count.

Currently in a situation that I need help with. Thank God I found this site! So, first off. Things between the gf and I ended at the end of November after 5 1/2 months of being “official” and nearly 8 months of seeing each other exclusively. She was the first relationship I’ve had coming off of a divorce. But this one stings pretty hard. She was dealing with a full plate (just starting in a career, balanced with full-time school) and the death of her grandfather a few months back. That was the first time she has ever dealt with… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Jim,

yes, you broke nc when you gave a gift..If you are not improving yourself during nc, you have to restart the count.. because you have to improve yourself during and after nc..if you work together, it’s ok to be polite with her if you need to talk about work stuff..but only make it about work stuff

Adam Byrd
Hi, I’ve wrote to this website before with regards to my ex gf who left me and then came back to me this yr and said she was pregnant with another mans child, we were on/off for about 3-4 months when she asked me to go to the abortion clinic with her which I did. I supported her and took care of her and everything and even offered her a place to stay which she considered. She told me she was talking to someone else and I cut contact, then I found out recently she got married, I think it… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Adam,

it can be because she started to move on long before you knew.. You have to move on too.. She married without love…later on she’ll probably regret that

Hi, I am a avid fan of your website and I really appreciate your work. My situation goes like this……. I was with this girl for six months and we enjoyed the best of times together. She was really happy with me and would enjoy my company a lot. We shared a strong bond together. She even once told me that I was her most precious possession. One day we got into a slight argument (not too major and that too over her ex boyfriend), and I being a bit egoistic stopped talking to her for about 10 days. But… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Patrick,

you mean you fought over her ex, and then after you broke up she went back to that ex? It looks like you were a rebound. But if you really want her back, give her a chance and talk to her

Vish Dureja
Hello. I want you all to know that my Ex gf left me for another guy. Our relationship lasted for 2 and a half years almost. I can’t move on in my life. I really need her back in my Life. The Story is as follows: It was almost 35 days we didn’t meet. Every Saturday some or the other problem arises due to which we didn’t meet up. One week prior we met up I noticed that she used to be busy always on WhatsApp and used to reply me late. I asked her that with whom is she… Read more »
Hello. I want you all to know that my Ex gf left me for another guy. Our relationship lasted for 2 and a half years almost. I can’t move on in my life. I really need her back in my Life. The Story is as follows: It was almost 35 days we didn’t meet. Every Saturday some or the other problem arises due to which we didn’t meet up. One week prior we met up I noticed that she used to be busy always on WhatsApp and used to reply me late. I asked her that with whom is she… Read more »

she left me without any reason saying she doesnt want any relayion with anyone .,,can she come back please help

EGR Team Member: Amor
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Faisal,

how long qas your relationship? are doing active nc nowm

My ex gf and I were very close. Inseparable did everything together and had just a blast doing it. We were together for 6 years and I struggle with depression. The entire time she was there for me picking me up. But the last year of our relationship I went through a massive bout of depression and nothing she did helped. It wasn’t her it was the fact I had no job and she did. I couldn’t provide for her and we lived with her mom and step dad. There was problems with them and I never left our room… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Korey,

now is the best time to imprive yourself and get your life back together because it would all be your effort.. you won’t feel indebted to her.. do that first and then reach out to her as a friend at first and then slowly rebuild rapport

Great article as always Chris. My ex and I have been broken up a year. I chased and did all the stuff that pushes girls away in the beginning and never gave her enough time to pursue me without me messing it up. Anyway she has been with her ex bf, who has emotionally and physically abused her in the past, for about 6 months now. They have fancy dinners, go to each others family events, and travel. She is only 20 years old but still i feel the same rules apply. I want to know the best way of… Read more »
hi me and my girlfriend break up due to miss understanding and miscommunication. I tried to make her calm and things work out since a month through texting. we exchange our stuff and gifts and she pressed charges against me for the unwilling enter in home, harassment and dangerous driving. Our relation was great and she still love me but she said she is not going to come back. I have court appearance date in next month. i still want her back in my life so help me man what should i do. she still keep those loving post on… Read more »
Chris, I really need your help man. If you are real and this whole site isnt some con then Im begging you man, help me out. I just broke up with my girlfriend of 11 months and she hates my guts. For 11 months we were madly in love, very much so up until the very last day. We were engaged and had so many plans for the future. She would be so caring and devote all her attention, care, effort and even her god damned life to my happiness, and I did the same for her… or so I… Read more »

I really want to make it up to her, I want to fix myself and remind her of all the good times we had, because there were SO many good times, I cant believe shes replacing me


When I try to talk to her she talks to me like Im some kind of nuisance, some stranger, like the past 11 months never happened. She looks much happier and when I ask her how or why shes replacing me already she tells me its none of my business


Shes gone completely insane, shes lost her values and is uploading pictures of her breasts online and is publicly insulting me and saying very very hurtful things . What the hell is she trying to do?

Hey Chris. My girlfriend broke up after a year and a half of dating where we had a very healthy relationship but with occasional agruements. But she broke up and said she doesn’t want to be with me anymore and it won’t work. She thought I was over protective and I didn’t get along with there family. I have on my own talked to all her family and they enjoyed having me around with no problems. And she that ought I was over protective which I have been working on since I thought I wasn’t good enough for her so… Read more »
Hey Chris . I can say it hands down that your site gives the most insight to anything related to the subject without biting words. I respect that. I have a doubt regarding my situation. Just a brief background. 1. My relation lasted for 11 months , when it was good , it was really good like she would have jumped off a building if i asker her to (not that i even think about it). 2. She says she was never this close to anybody in her whole life (21). 3. We would fight often, towards the end they… Read more »
Thanks for the reply Chris. Just a kind update 1. Day 20 into no contact , she hasn’t contacted me . 2. Pain is less , enjoying life with buddies . (Lost a lot of weight , Started work on a tech startup apart from work). 3. Still miss her , she is at the back of my mind when i am not having fun. I really appreciate your help , your like a buddy (cant share this with anybody around me ). I just wonder sometimes will i ever be as happy as i was before the breakup if… Read more »
Hi Chris, I’ve had a very rough time with this. My girlfriend and I had an unbreakable bond. We started out as best friends and then we started dating after I took her to a Tim McGraw concert. She has had problems with exes in the past who are clingy and get into her head. She hates them but some reason they bully her enough to control her. Me and her have really been through a lot. She’s very unique and has all the traits I want in a girl. She loves me more than life itself. She went to… Read more »

Hi Chris, I’ve had a very rough time with this. My girlfriend and I had an unbreakable bond. We started out as best friends and then we started dating after I took her to a Tim McGraw concert. She has had problems with exes in the past who are clingy and get into her head. She hates them but some reason they bully her enough to control her. Me and her have really been through a lot. She’s very unique and has all the traits I want in a girl.


Tried text with I have to tell you something She responded in 5 minutes then I went with message after no contact, which she ignored again (2 days today). I have to tell you I admire her resistance.

Hi Chris, I have been reading SOOOO much on your website. I’ll be short instead of the whole story (or try). My girl and me have been together for 9.5 years. And I started feeling after things that happened, that soon, it will be over and indeed it did. I felt it that se was going to leave me eventually and nothing I could do to stop it. I even changed a lot in the last months. The thing is, she keeps saying, you can call me whenever you want, we can still do things together, but I don’t see… Read more »
Additional info about the facebook thing, is that it drives me crazy to see her coming online. But I hear facebook is a good strategy to make her jealous. But I’m scared to see things I don’t want to that will hurt me. (since she added that grass-is-greener-guy again, as he is part of her active life still where she lives and he asked, why dont you add me again. I did ask her, did it took a long to decide to add him again? she said yes, about 2 weeks. Did you know shit would happen again? she said… Read more »

And one important detail: I’m her first boyfriend ever (and also her first, you know what…) (17 till 26 together) (i’m 33 now 🙂 )
Not sure how important that is 🙂 and how that counts for a girl.

Hi Chris, i was dating my gf for almost 5 years, at the beginning of the relationship i broke up with her twice the first time for a couple of weeks and the second time for 6 months. now she has dumped me years later, i have gone 1 month NC with her, she blocked me from social media, blocked my number and erased all of our pictures together. she said “she needed to do this for herself”. i asked her if she loved me, she said yes that its not another guy or anything but she needs time to… Read more »

I talk a lot with her best friend and currently I am on Gamescom as a press. In about 2 hours I am attending conference about Fallout 4, her favourite gaming franchise. Do you think I might try the strategy with good news and instead of she blocked me say she is ignoring me?

I have been reading through your site and i felt like i needed to talk to you to try and understand what is really going on. my girlfriend of 2 years and 2 months (which was my first serious relationship, i am 20 and she is 21 as of right now) ever since i moved to calgary from lethbridge (only because i took a job to provide us more money and a new place to start our life in calgary) we still visited each other every 1 weeks or rarely 2 weeks. then when she moved in with me, she… Read more »
I forgot to mention, we would always think alike and somehow we always knew what we want for each other or what we need. Same thoughts, same time. I love her more than ever. The craziest thing tho is that she has never had a best kind of support that i gave her. Her parents are sometimes or more often harsh with her and they always argue and worry about money, like the money is the top priority concern to them and they inflicted that onto her and somehow she worries about money alot she hates being broke but i… Read more »
Hi, my ex and I had been together for just under three years, we met hit it off immediately and soon after had a kid together. Throughout the relationship there were two big lies that caused her to leave. After we split we still lived to get her for months and she began to become more secretive about her day to day. I found out that she had been seeing someone since March. She recently moved out about a month ago and I have tried NC, now I’m determined to get her back but I feel like she is wrapped… Read more »
I was 2 weeks into NC and she texted me when she was drunk saying she misses me. Didn’t answer her three texts or her phone call then she texted “alright then this is our last hope…” (That’s a good sign even though she was drunk right). I answered her and was short but I felt like a gained a little bit of control. Unfortunately the next day I texted her and she was being short with me and then I started ranting doing the desperate needy thing. It didn’t end well but I am now a week into the… Read more »
Thank you so much for responding. Did NC for a week. Saw each other out at the bar. Kept exchanging looks and she mouthed “I miss you”. Long story short we went home together. Although she was drunk she did say she’s still in love with me and misses me and knows well eventually get together again. Said it all the next morning and said she meant it but she doesn’t know when we will get back together. She kept saying I love you and calling me babe and caught herself saying it but said it felt right and that… Read more »
Hey Chris, I have read just about every article on this website and have found it to be great information. My girlfriend broke up with me because she simply “didn’t feel it anymore” and “were too different.” We dated for a year and a half and it was AMAZING. No fights or anything. So I went 30 days NC and she contacted me a few times and I ignored. After no contact I reached out in the manner you have talked about and eventually 3 weeks into doing this I got a date with her, and she even hooked up… Read more »

Not to mention I did change a lot for the better during NC and after about a month of talking again promised her things would be different and that I’m not interested in being friends.

She did say she wanted to take it slow but to be honest I dont really know what that means when an ex says that. when you say this time do you think I should wait longer to talk to her again? I’ve gone about a month now without talking to her and no she did not. she said it was simply because she wasnt in love anymore and she couldent see herself with me in the long run. Obviously i have to re attract her but I think I might have to really walk away for a while to… Read more »
Hey Chris, My girlfriend and i broke up because at this moment she does not want a relationship generaly. A couple of years ago she had a relationship but her ex pushed her and controlled her too much. From that time she tried to make a relationship with someone else but she ended it. She told me that for the first time she wanted to try a relationship with me. Now is the time where she is having her internship and is something new to her. She also stressed that she doesnt want us to stop communicating and for all… Read more »
Hey Chris, First off I want to say that your book is a great read. A little about me. I was dating my ex girlfriend for about 7 months. I thought things were great. Her family and friends loved me. She would constantly tell me I was the best thing that ever happened to me. Then she ended up breaking it off last April. It was very sudden and everyone was surprised. I think she got scared she was in a real relationship. I know she has dated some jerks in the past and she was single for about a… Read more »
Hey Chris thanks for the response. She is not with anyone new and if I had to guess she is making decisions based off of past experiences. I know people were asking her at work why we broke up and general questions about us. Since everyone knows she broke it off with me and no one saw it coming, I would imagine it only been more pressure on her and hurting my cause of getting her back. Im giving her space but its been over three months now and unfortunately I don’t see any want from her to patch things… Read more »
Hey Chris. Long story short, I was in a relationship with a woman for 20 years and three kids. We have been apart since April 17th and now she has said she’s dating other guys. NC has been kind of hard due to dealing with the kids. FF to July 9, she asked me come over to her apartment while they were installing her internet. I told her that I’m done going around and around with her about us. When I got ready to leave she grabbed my hand and asked me why I was saying those things. I explained… Read more »
I would like some advice please. I know it’s a lot of text, but I am at a loss on what I should do in my situation. So I am 21 and I have had an on off relationship with this girl for give or take 3 months this is my first relationship. We ended up dating for the first 2 weeks and she broke it off, just to come back a week later wanting me back. Since then she went to another state for the summer and we were texting, skyping, watching netflix together, etc. After a while she… Read more »

Hi Chris so would he then wait only 21 days? If you think she is seeing someone else what should he do?!

Hey Chris. Here’s my situation. We broke in March because she thought I didn’t trust her going to a college party w her sister. The past 4 months I would never reach to her first unless she reached to me. She always reached to me like every other week. A month ago we didn’t talk for like 3 weeks. She recently texted me asking things about me and my love life. She later told me about a dream she had about us being together married living in house cuddling. She asked me to get food and hangout with this week.… Read more »
Thanks for you feedback Chris! You mentioned a test message?not certain as to what that would consist of. Let me give you some insight as to what happened. We were what you’d call a “power couple”,both good looking,people were in awe of our relationship.we were planning our future together. One year in I started to slip up,I wasnt happy with my job,I had slacked on gym,became bitter and she sensed it,a few leading factors towards the break up were trust issues,and me not being there for her emotionally. Long story short,she became cold,distant,spoke to me like crap,started going out with… Read more »

Sent the message and it’s been a week and no reply.
I’ve accepted the break up and pretty sure she isn’t looking back,
as sad as it is.
I know it sounds selfish but I wish there was a way to make her just come running back to me,
And if there is would you say “success is the best revenge”

John White
Hey chris i used to be with this girl for 3 years, i ended up breaking up with her because she was of a different religion and we could barely see each other and meet up with her parents and religious pressure holding her back, but we still kept contact and while her parents helped her get over me, i didnt overcome my feelings. Later she told me she didnt feel the same way when i wanted to get back, mostly because the circumstances made it impossible to get close, but she wanted to stay friends and keep talking. I… Read more »

Hi Chris,,,,,,simple and forward.
If she does not contact you at all during nc,and is clearly having a good time without you,would it be safe to call it quits?
I’d love nothing more than her to just contact me….but she hasn’t.
Give it another month?or text her?


I submitted a comment detailing more on how our relationship ended,hope it shows ?
A test message?an example would be greatly appreciated thanks bud!

Hey Chris! Well, I think that I handled my situation in a wrong way, and I’d really like your opinion on what I should do. My ex-girlfriend and I broke up 7 months ago. The thing is I couldn’t even think anything else apart from getting her back. I begged her and things like that. That was going for 2 months, until I was tired and i wanted to apply NC, so I told her that we should stop talking. Theoritically she agreed, but after 1 to 1,5 weeks of NC she started texting me, but I didn’t reply. Then… Read more »
Well, she wanted to meet me last week. We did meet. We talked for about 2 hours. She said that she really would like to say “Yes, I’d like another chance to us”, but she doesn’t feel the same way she did months ago. Then I told her that she needs to let me go then. She was sad when I told her that, and she asked me to let time pass and when something change to either of us, we should let each other know. Anyway, a week passed without talking and I suddenly met her yesterday downtown. She… Read more »
Hi, Good article but I’m in a unique situation. I treated my obsessive gf well but was cold and could have treated her a lot better. I flirted with girls behind her back because I was immature (both at uni). Now she’s going to return to her home country in a few months, has already started seeing someone (2 weeks after we ended) and now is going to another country with him and claims she made the second biggest mistake of her life being with me, she claims she was never truly happy and now she is. The fact is… Read more »
Appreciate the response, At the start of our relationship (6 months ago not long I know) she basically fell for me in 4 weeks. I said I didn’t want a relationship/not sure yet and she cried on me a few times in the computer labs at our school/university. She would text me and if I didn’t respond in 5 minutes she’d send another until I did. She would accuse me of liking other girls for no reason other than that I looked at them once or twice (I usually look around a lot). Got angry at me for my past… Read more »

My ex-girlfriend of 1 year is moving in with her new boyfriend of only 3 months.. Ive done the no contact rule and weve connected on a deeper level she told me she’s still in love with me but now this.. what now? Do I give up or should I keep going?


we broke up March and she started dating him the next month

Chris, this is truly incredible. I have been glued to your site for the last three days ever since I found out my girlfriend of 4 years, who broke up with me two months ago, has been “seeing” other people. I know you are probably saying “two months? Dude, let it go” but she’s been telling me once a week for the last two months that she misses me and wants to get back together at some point… Well, now I know she wants to have her cake and eat it too, so I started NC about five days ago… Read more »
Mark MacOwl
Hi I really like your work especially your meme. I used to date wonderful women you know bla bla bla. She said its over and I didnt said a thing and made 30 days NC then I contact her and she replied after 8 hours with positive answer asking about Why am not catch up with the show I was texting her about …. I texted her I am bussy …., but later I would be glad to text about that show. After 2 days I texted her but she didnt reply back. I still had 3 of her favorite… Read more »
mark macowl
Thank you for your answer. Anyway i did nc then send her opinion question about topic we used to talk for hours before se were a couple. She ignored me so I decided to write her a message about I used to date a great girl but I lost a perfect person to talk, but I understand her decision . She likes a viking culture so I ended up with viking blessing. Anyway, thank you Chris for your work I really hate giving up, but thanks to your book I think i have done everything i could have and I… Read more »

Chris I must say in real life we would be definietly friends. I like your style, memes and I dont give up thing. Very nice. I don´t know what to do you. Honestly, I love this girl. With some other ex girl I would just remove her from my friend list, block her phone number and be done with it, but not this one I don´t want to loose her.


21 days? And after? I am not sure if she will reach, you know I don´t recognize her anymore. I don´t know, why she is ignoring me so hard, we used to be good friends before dating so atleast I tried to save our friendship. Is she so insecure with her new BF (if she had one) or I don´t know.


Tried text with I have to tell you something She responded in 5 minutes then I went with message after no contact, which she ignored again (2 days today). I have to tell you, I admire her resistance. (sry about commend in wrong section missclick)

Finally its over me, tried to text her one last time and she ignored me again so I thought why I am pursuing this girl, who does not respect me. I said goodbye to her on FB and removed her from my friend list and the funny thing is she responded in 20 minutes even apologized something I have been to work. The message was pretty angry and negative saying That she does not believe in friendship with ex because somebody always wants more and that she made her clear breakup just saying “ok its over” and PS said that… Read more »