So she has left you and you are wondering how on earth are going to get her to come back to you. Getting your ex-girlfriend back can be very challenging under normal circumstances. Imagine if your situation is one of those complicated relationship breakdowns. You are probably going to need a lot of help to optimize your chances of getting back in the good graces of your girlfriend. The truth of the matter is that you are probably going to fail unless you have a very solid, well thought out plan.
Now, I am not saying that it is impossible to attract her back to you. On the contrary, if you play your cards right then you can drastically improve your chances of winning her back.
Of course, with the way you are probably doing things right now… well, it is going to be a tough road.
How do I know all of this?
Let’s be honest here. You have probably tried all kinds of things to get her back. You wouldn’t be here unless you have already run up against struggles in trying to convince her she has made a mistake and should return to you.
I am not saying this to sound presumptuous or arrogant. I am just saying this because I know where you are coming from. You desperately want your ex girlfriend to give you another chance. I get it.
So, I am going to make you a promise.
Solving the Puzzle Of Getting Your Ex Girlfriend
Look, all that anxiety and desperation you are feeling in trying to get your ex girlfriend back…you need to let go of it.
I promise you that this page is going to blow you away with it’s insight and actionable steps. Take it from someone who has helped thousands of people with their exes… this desperation you are feeling is not helping you, it’s hurting you.
So, here is my promise to you.
I promise that if you follow the advice on this page then your chances of getting your ex back will increase. Now, I do want to point out that I can’t guarantee that your girlfriend will come back. Ultimately the final decision on whether or not you two should be a couple again lies with her.
However, if you do everything on this page then hopefully it will be her who begs to be back with you.
So, what is this epic guide on getting an ex girlfriend back going to cover?
I am glad you asked.
What Are The Key Steps For Convincing Your Ex Girlfriend To Come Back Into Your Life
I put a lot of work into this page. Yup, I have been helping men get their exes back for over a decade. I know that sounds a little insane but it’s something I enjoy doing.
Throughout the past decade I have been continuously improving and refining the information which has resulted in this massive guide.
In the beginning, I remember literally thinking to myself.
“If I were to create the best guide in the world on getting an ex girlfriend back what would I say?”
Well, this guide is the result of that question. It has been updated over the many years. It includes things like:
- Three areas of life that you have to succeed at.
- The criteria women use to choose men.
- The types of behaviors you need to avoid.
- The no contact rule.
- What to do during the no contact rule.
- A step by step game plan to getting an ex girlfriend back.
- What to text an ex girlfriend.
- What to say during a call with an ex girlfriend.
- What to do on a date with an ex girlfriend.
Oh, and before we really get started I just want to let you know that this guide is going to be very long. In fact, it may be the longest guide on getting an ex girlfriend back online right now. It was designed to be this way because I don’t want to leave anything out given this is a very complex subject.
Consider yourself warned!
Lets get started.
For Men Trying To Get Their Ex Girlfriend Back: Find the Balance
Right now your life is out of balance. Your heart has been broken and there are probably moments throughout the day where you just sit and find yourself wondering,
“Will this pain of losing my ex girlfriend ever go away?”
Believe me I have been there. I remember I once got so upset about a girl that I sat alone in my room for about an hour just staring into space wondering if I was destined to be alone.
When things like this happen it only means one thing, your life is out of balance.
As you will learn in Ex Girlfriend Recovery PRO life can generally be divided up into three different categories.
Your Love Life
I would like to take a moment and explain what each of these “areas” are.
This refers to things like your overall health and how good of shape you are in.
So, lets say that this area of your life is out of balance. This could mean a lot of things. Maybe you are a chronic smoker and get lung cancer. Perhaps you are considered to be obese. Maybe you have an acne problem and it causes issues with your confidence.
The point is that if this area of your life is out of balance most women won’t find you attractive.
Don’t believe me.
OK, try this on for size.
Imagine for a moment that you smoke and are really obese. If I were to put you side by side by a man who doesn’t smoke and is not obese and gave a very beautiful woman the choice between the two of you which person do you think she will choose?
Food for thought?
This one is pretty self explanatory.
How financially secure are you? What kind of job do you have? Do you have any goals for your future? What kind of car do you drive? Do you have “status?”
All of this stuff is included in the “your wealth” category.
It’s interesting, I was actually watching a documentary on Netflix the other day called “The Science of Sex Appeal.”
In that documentary they performed a very interesting experiment. They took about ten men and got a bunch of women to rate their attractiveness on a 1-10 scale.
The point of the experiment is to see how much a job title or having a certain “status” matters to women. Each of the men who were rated were given an imaginary job title and salary figure. That information was placed on a piece of paper with their picture.
The actual experiment then took place on the street where random women were surveyed and asked to rate the men in the pictures.
The experimenters took the man who was rated as the worst looking “in the lab” and assigned him a high power job and a very high yearly salary. Suddenly a “4” turned into a “10.” Then the experimenters decided to take the man who was rated as the best looking “in the lab” and assigned him with a bad job and a very low yearly salary. The man who was originally an “8” suddenly turned into a “4” just because of this low job title.
So, your job title and status definitely matters to women. Now, I am not saying that all you need to do to get your ex back is to get a super high paying job. No, there is a lot more to re-attracting a woman than that.
I am just pointing out that this stuff matters. Besides, something tells me that you are going to have a lot more confidence walking into a room if you have a reasonable degree of financial security.
Lets take a look at the next area of your life which has definitely taken a hit.
Your Love Life and Relationships
When I say love life what do I mean? Am I only talking about potential sexual partners? No, your love life extends beyond that. It can include things like family, friends, business relationships, etc.
Of course, it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that when I talk about your love life on this site I am usually referring to the relationships with your potential sexual partners (your ex girlfriend.)
Here is an interesting question.
What do you think happens when your love life begins to suffer but the rest of the aspects of your life are pretty good ( physical and wealth?)
If this happens that will usually mean that your mental health is going to be compromised. In other words, you are going to get really depressed and stare into space for long periods of time (like I told you I did.)
I guess the point of me telling you this is that all three of these areas of your life intersect with each other.
Applying These Three Aspects Of Your Life To Getting Your Ex Girlfriend Back
So, the big question you are probably wondering to yourself is,
“Well, all of this is very insightful and all but how the heck is it going to help me get my ex girlfriend back?”
I can’t say this is will be the case for every single person reading this guide but usually if a breakup occurs between you and your ex it can put these three major areas in your life in turmoil.
For example, if your ex girlfriend breaks up with you then that means the “love life” aspect of your life has just taken a hit. Maybe after this happens you decide that you don’t have the drive to work hard at work anymore (wealth.) You also become very depressed and in this state of depression you pack on a few pounds (health.)
As you can see, the first step to getting your ex girlfriend back is to sit up and realize that these three areas need to be restored to their former glory.
So, from this point on I want you to focus on improving your health, wealth and love life.
Lets move on to a very important topic, what NOT to do.
Behaviors You Need To Avoid To Get Your Ex Girlfriend To Bite
Listen up because this is an important section. I am going to do my best to list all of the behaviors that you need to avoid if you want to have the best chance of getting your ex girlfriend back.
Now, before I really dive in I want to make something clear. If you have committed any of the “sins” I am about here this doesn’t mean that you have no chance of getting her back. It just means you have a little extra work ahead of you.
With this in mind lets begin!
Bad Behavior 1- Gnatting
One of the phrases that I coined for my book, The Texting Bible is a text gnat.
What is this?
Have you ever been outside and had a gnat fly around your head? Well, if you have then you know it can be extremely annoying because no matter where you go this stupid gnat will follow you around. No matter how many times you swat it away the gnat will come back.
Are you getting where I am going with this?
In this analogy YOU are the gnat.
One of the biggest mistakes that I see men make when trying to win back their ex girlfriend is that they don’t know when enough is enough.
Winning an ex girlfriend back is all about projecting this “alpha male” type of persona. Well, nothing kills that persona more than a guy who constantly texts and leaves himself too available for a woman.
You know what is worse than this?
A guy who constantly calls when a girl doesn’t want to talk to him. You know how you can tell if a girl doesn’t want to talk to you?
SHE WON”T PICK UP THE PHONE!
Nothing screams insecure more to a girl than seeing a guy blow her phone up with 10 missed calls.
Don’t be a gnat…
Just don’t do it.
Bad Behavior 2- Neediness
Have you ever heard that quote “neediness is the opposite of attraction?”
Aint that the truth!
Don’t get me wrong. Women do like a certain amount of neediness BUT there is a difference between the neediness they like and the neediness and insecurity that you are displaying.
So, what is the type of neediness that women like and what is the type of neediness that they don’t like?
Well, lets start with the good type of neediness first.
Would you like to know the reason most women cheat on men? Unlike men, it isn’t because they get horny (though I am sure there are exceptions to that rule.)
No, it is usually because they feel under appreciated or like they weren’t NEEDED enough.
A little neediness is OK for most women. They like feeling wanted and needed by you. However, when your neediness becomes excessive and insecure it can become a problem.
What is an example of insecure neediness?
Imagine for a moment that during your relationship with your ex girlfriend you were always very nervous about her talking to other men. So, every time you would catch her texting another guy innocently you would throw this big temper tantrum.
While I suppose this can be classified as jealousy and not neediness it highlights the insecurity I am trying to capture here.
Insecurity and neediness isn’t going to be a winning formula for winning back your ex girlfriend. Trust me on this.
Qualities That You Need To Obtain (Becoming The Alpha Male)
One of the most important aspects to getting your ex girlfriend back is becoming the alpha male (more on that later.) For now, what I would like to focus our attention on are the qualities that you need to obtain in order to become an alpha male.
Remember, we are talking about your ex girlfriend here so at one point you were considered an alpha male to her (because lets be honest all women want to date the alpha male.) However, now that the two of you broke up you lost your standing as the alpha male and it is up to you to regain it.
So, how do we construct an alpha male?
Well, I think the best way to do that is to work backwards and look at how almost every single woman in the world chooses a man.
Below I have listed all of the qualities that women consider when choosing a potential mate. Some of these qualities mean more than others and some are completely out of your control. However, most women consider these qualities when they look at you. The idea is to maximize as many qualities as you can to give yourself the best chance to re-attract your ex.
Ahem… ahem… you might want to write a few of these down.
Lets do a fun exercise.
I think we can all collectively agree that most women think Brad Pitt is good looking.
Alright, here comes the fun part.
If I were to put you and Brad Pitt up against a wall and have your ex girlfriend choose someone based on looks solely something tells me that you may not be chosen.
Whether we like it or not looks will play a role into how women choose men. However, the main point I want to make here is to not put too much stock into the looks quality.
Lets say that you are just an average looking guy. You aren’t terrible looking but you aren’t great looking either. If you were to rank really highly in the rest of the qualities in this section your looks wouldn’t really matter as much to women.
The point I am trying to make here is that women are more than happy to date someone who isn’t as good looking as them as long as they can bring other good qualities to the table.
Don’t believe me?
About a year ago I went out to lunch with a few friends (3 girls to be exact.) Of course, when you are the only guy among girls the conversation eventually turns to dating. I don’t remember exactly how it happened but someone brought up the question of looks.
“Wow, I would NEVER date a guy better looking than me. I did it once and felt horrible about myself.”
Did you get that? These girls actually all agreed that they preferred men who weren’t as good looking as them.
So, trust me when I say that while looks matter they don’t matter as much as you would believe. And any way, beauty is indeed in the eye of the beholder.
This is another one of those qualities that you really have no control over.
Some women may prefer a taller and better looking man.
But the thing I really want to talk about with this quality is the fact that just because you are tall it doesn’t mean that you are guaranteed to get your ex girlfriend back.
It is going to take a lot more than good looks to re-flip the attraction switches within your ex girlfriend and therein lies the dilemma for good looking and tall men.
I have a pretty good looking friend (who also happens to be tall.) Every time I used to go to the bar with him I was amazed at the amount of women that hit on him. Of course, with me being the jealous person that I was I started studying exactly what he was doing to get these women to flock to him.
I watched him pick up women left and right and I still couldn’t figure out what he was doing.
So, I did what I should have done in the first place, I asked him.
“Why are all these women always hitting on you?”
He gave probably the most honest answer I have ever heard in my life,
“Look around… I don’t want to sound arrogant or anything but do you see a better looking guy at the bar than me?”
“To be honest man… no I don’t” I said.
The point of his response was that every time he walked into a room it was like all the women stopped and stared. He didn’t have to try to get girls because from the moment he hit high school (I was friends with him there) all the women flocked to him.
It was a bit unfair but his looks and height had one big downfall.
Those characteristics wouldn’t be enough to get his ex girlfriend back. You see, when you have a real relationship with someone it goes far beyond looks and height. You need to do a lot more.
So, if you are tall or good looking my point here is that you can’t assume that those aspects alone will be enough to get a girl back.
Quality- Health & Hygiene
Women often find a man who is fit more attractive than a man who has let himself go. In fact, one of the many reasons a girl may have broke up with you is because you stopped taking care of yourself.
Now, I am not saying that you have to get in Olympic level shape or anything like that. What I am trying to tell you is that if you can just get fit looking it is going to help you so much in your quest to get your ex girlfriend back.
There isn’t much more to say about the “health” quality so lets move on to the hygiene one.
When I was in College I sat next to one of the most interesting men I have ever met. This guy was good looking, tall and the more I got to know him the more I thought to myself,
“This lucky guy must have women flocking to him like white on rice.”
That was when I smelled it…
BO (body odor.)
Do you know what poor hygiene says about a person?
They don’t take care of themselves.
Yellow teeth and horrible smells coming from your body is a huge red flag to a girl.
Don’t be the bad smelling guy… be the good smelling one.
I want to stick to this type of thinking for a moment.
You know, the not taking care of yourself type of thinking.
I would also say that grooming falls into this.
I am not saying you can’t have a little scruff but it needs to be “under control.”
In other words, it needs to be obvious that you take care of yourself and are well groomed.
I want you to imagine something for a moment.
Lets say that the best looking man in the world walked into the bar full of women. Now, this guy is so good looking that all he has to do is walk in and sit down and women immediately swoon. Every single girl he ever attempts to go after he gets.
Now, lets take the best looking man in the world and dress him like a homeless person. His clothes smell, they are covered in dirt and it literally looks like he lives under a bridge.
Something tells me that if this version of the best looking man in the world walked into a bar he would not have the same effect on women.
Whether you like it or not fashion matters to women, even your ex girlfriend.
I am not saying that you have to dress like a Hollywood actor or anything like that but you do need to look nice every time you see a girl (especially your ex girlfriend going forward.)
Quality- Being Comfortable
Have you ever gotten a woman so comfortable with you that she can be herself?
In my experience, women are some of the most guarded creatures in the world.
Think about it from their perspective for a moment. A drop dead gorgeous woman has to almost question every mans intentions with her. She probably gets hit on multiple times a day so she has her guard up.
If you are able to get a woman to lower her guard and let you in then you have accomplished one of the hardest tasks in the world.
Usually being comfortable and “letting someone in” go hand in hand. So, if you can make a woman completely comfortable with you then she is more likely to let you in.
Of course, we are dealing with your ex girlfriend here so while you may have at one point gotten her comfortable with you the fact that you are no longer dating her probably causes her to leave her guard up.
Quality- Actually Having A Life
Would you like to know the approach that almost all successful ex recovery people take to getting their exes back?
They actually have a life outside of their relationship with their girlfriend.
If your entire world right now revolves around your ex girlfriend then you probably aren’t going to do well when it comes to getting her back.
Why do you think that is?
I mean, an argument can be made that someone who is hyper targeted on an ex can devote more time and attention to her and yield more successful results.
The biggest fact I use to combat this argument is actually pretty simple.
Have you ever been hyper targeted on a girl before?
Speaking from experience it isn’t really that enjoyable. Every single text, word or action that, that person takes is dissected and it can literally drive you nuts.
If you are on the edge of your seat for every text, response or call then you aren’t going to do well because you don’t want to rush this thing. Instead, you kind of want things to unfold naturally (more on this later.)
Getting Your Ex Girlfriend Back Often Starts With the No Contact Rule
(To learn more about the no contact rule and what to do after it read Ex Girlfriend Recovery PRO.)
The no contact rule is going to be an essential part of getting your girlfriend back. The premise is actually very simple and yet with that simplicity in mind it is probably one of the hardest things to successfully get through.
Before I get into anything too serious lets take a moment and go over what a no contact rule is.
The No Contact Rule- A period of time where you are not allowed to talk to your ex at all. You can’t pick up your phone if she calls, texts or Facebooks you. To add on to that you are also not allowed to reach out to your ex at all during the no contact rule.
(Learn more about the no contact rule with Ex Girlfriend Recovery PRO.)
This brings us to the million dollar question. How long are you supposed to stay in the no contact rule?
When I first started to research NC (no contact) I compiled all of my research and discovered the length of time that many of the experts agreed was ideal, 30 days.
Now, I run a fairly large website and have literally seen people go through the no contact rule thousands of times. Experience has taught me that 30 days should be more of a guideline to follow. Sometimes circumstances cause you to end it sooner or extend it beyond a month.
So, what I have done is compiled a list of guidelines that you should follow when you implement your own no contact rule.
The thing you have to remember is that NC is only effective if you let a good amount of time pass. Anyone can ignore someone for a day but it can have an entirely different effect if you were to ignore someone for a month.
Do you kind of see what I am talking about?
In my opinion, there are three lengths of NC that you should consider implementing.
The 21 Day No Contact
This is the shortest span of NC that I would recommend.
Why 21 days?
Women can have a lot of different types of responses to a no contact rule. A common response is that they will go batsh*t crazy when you start ignoring them. While this is kind of good because it means that they still care for you deep down we also don’t want them to suffer.
You see, one of the biggest risks of doing no contact is the fact that if you let it go on for too long it will make your attempt to get your ex girlfriend back harder than it needs to be. The idea is to time no contact perfectly so that they are literally hungering for you to message them.
I have found that for women who get extremely emotional/needy/angry/upset during NC you don’t have to complete the full 30 days since 21 days should do the trick.
The 30 Day No Contact Rule
Not every woman is going to act super upset or angry that you aren’t contacting them. That doesn’t mean that they aren’t feeling it inside it just means that they are doing a good job of hiding it on the outside.
The 30 day no contact rule is perfect for women who maybe contact you once or twice during NC and then sort of “get the hint.”
I would also say that 30 days is perfect in some cases where a woman doesn’t contact you at all during NC (which can happen.)
If you were to ask me personally which one of these three no contact time periods I would choose I would definitely say the 30 day rule is the best one.
However, the next rule also has some interesting aspects to it.
The 45 Day No Contact Rule
There will be a certain type of woman that is very stubborn. It doesn’t mean she doesn’t care it just means that she is really set on this idea that the guy is the one that has to make contact first.
This is completely OK.
Just because she believes that it doesn’t mean that the no contact rule isn’t working it just means you are going to have to extend the NC rule a bit to amp up its affect on her.
45 days is the highest amount of period that I would recommend going on a stubborn woman who doesn’t contact you during the NC rule.
Other NC Factors to Consider When Getting Your Ex Girlfriend Back
There are a few more things about no contact that I feel we need to discuss before we can move on.
The first thing are the cases where it is OK to break NC. Off the top of my head I can think of two scenarios where NC has to be broken.
The first scenario is when a child is involved.
NC When Children Are Involved
You can’t really complete a full NC rule if you and your ex have children. Instead, I would recommend you start a limited contact rule. This is essentially the same exact thing as no contact except you are allowed to break the NC for conversations that are only about your kids.
For example, you can’t talk to your ex at all about your previous relationship or where things stand right now. However, you are allowed to talk to them about who picks up the kids from school or things like that.
The other scenario where it is OK to break no contact has to do with living situations.
NC When You Live With An Ex Girlfriend
In the rare event that you live with your ex girlfriend you can’t really do no contact without seem like a total D-Bag. So, I recommend you take the following approach:
Too often do I see ex couples get in shouting matches where someone yells something unforgivable and then a lamp gets thrown.
Instead of doing that I want you to handle this breakup with class. Sure, your heart may be broken on the inside but when you are in a room with your ex I want you to hold your head high. I want you to be nice and kill her with kindness.
Now, I don’t want you to engage her in any long and meaningful conversations yet. Wait until your 30 days are up for that. Instead, keep any conversations you have with her very short but pleasant. The idea is that when you leave the room she has to think to herself:
“Is this real? Is he really doing that great without me?”
What You Are Supposed To Do During NC To Optimize Getting Her Back?
In this section I am going to teach you exactly what you need to do during the no contact period to give yourself the best chance to succeed in getting your ex girlfriend back.
For a more extensive look at what you need to be doing during NC take a look at Ex Girlfriend Recovery PRO.
Right off the bat probably the best advice I can give you is that the reason most people fail at getting an ex back is because they are misinformed on how best to get their ex back. Look, I can’t guarantee that you are going to succeed at this but I can guarantee that if you work hard you are going to make positive progress and that is probably more than you can say right now.
I think probably the best way to start this is to talk about the importance of working smart during the no contact rule.
You Have To Work Smart During The No Contact Rule If You Want Her Back
I gave you three possible no contact rules to follow. Lets take a moment and refresh our memories on what those three rules were:
1. The 21 Day NC Rule
2. The 30 Day NC Rule
3. The 45 Day NC Rule
Whichever no contact rule you choose to do I feel it is really important for me to mention that this is not a vacation and this isn’t going to be easy.
In fact, you are going to be tempted so many times to contact your ex that at times you will probably get depressed but whatever happens DO NOT DO IT!
Stick to your allotted time and focus on what I talk about in this section.
Another thing you need to understand is that implementing No Contact alone will not be enough to get your ex girlfriend back. Trust me it won’t be. You are going to have to do more (which I will be covering.) Think of the no contact rule as the first big stepping stone to success.
This leads us to what I really wanted to talk about.
I know no matter what I say here some men will read this and go right into no contact rule. Of course, the big mistake that they make is the fact that consider the no contact rule to be a vacation and they won’t do anything during it.
The no contact rule is a time where you have a lot to do. You pretty much need to consider every single day during your no contact period as a day where you can slowly improve your situation (but mostly yourself as I will talk about in a moment.)
So, the big revelation I want you to take from this section is the fact that I am going to put you to work during your no contact rule but I promise it will pay off in the end BIG TIME!
Now, lets take a look at what you are going to be doing during your no contact period.
The Alpha Qualities For A Guy Wanting His Ex Girlfriend Back
I want you to take a moment to revisit the sections on “The three areas where you need to succeed in life” and “The alpha male qualities.”
Those sections are crucial because what you are going to be doing during the no contact rule is going to tie directly into them.
Actually, it is kind of interesting. Every single one of the alpha male qualities will tie directly into one of the three areas of life that you need to succeed.
For example, the “hygiene” alpha male quality ties directly into the “health” area of life. Do you kind of get it?
Whatever we are moving on.
What I am going to do now is give you some action items that you need to complete. The main goal here is self improvement and the best way you can do that is to fulfill the potential of all your alpha male qualities.
Don’t worry, I am going to hold your hand like a toddler throughout the entire process so lets get started.
NC Alpha Quality- Looks
How do you work on your looks?
I mean, lets be honest here. Not all of us are Brad Pitt and therein lies the problem.
I have given advice out to men before where I told them to “use the no contact rule to improve.” Well, they automatically assumed that I meant they weren’t good looking enough and ripped me a new one.
How they arrived at that conclusion I have no idea.
The thing I want to point out here is that you don’t need to be Brad Pitt to get your ex girlfriend back. I was walking around the mall the other day and I happened to see one of the most beautiful women there walking with a total dork.
I mean, this guy was overweight, balding and he was not a very good looking dude. Yet here he was holding hands with the most beautiful girl at the mall.
So, what is going on here?
Could it be that he is totally loaded and she is just some gold digger?
Well, it is possible but there is an even better explanation than that.
I want you to take a good hard look at all of the alpha male qualities on this page. While some of the qualities are certainly more important than others to women no one quality will be enough to win back your ex girlfriend.
So, lets turn our attention back to Mr. Bald Fat Guy and his beautiful girlfriend.
This girl was willing to go out with him because his other qualities (whether it be wealth, comfortability or height) were all high enough to trump his looks quality. So, when the woman was deciding whether or not to date him she weighed all of these qualities and made her decision.
Your action item during the no contact rule when it comes to looks is to not get enamored with them. Realize that if you don’t feel you are good looking your other qualities can make up for it. Trust me on this.
NC Alpha Quality- Your Overall Health
Do you watch the UFC?
Out of all the sports I have ever watched in my life I think that mixed martial arts has to be the most physically demanding.
Sure, football is demanding (and dangerous.) Tennis (which I am very fond of) can be a grind but there is something that UFC has over all of those sports.
It is very rare to find an athlete in the UFC that is out of shape. Though trust me they exist (see Roy Nelson.)
I want you to get in the best shape of your life.
Seriously, I don’t care if you think you are already in good shape.
GET IN UFC SHAPE.
Not only will your physical appearance improve but working out will do something else incredible for you.
There are going to be a lot of moments during the no contact rule where you are going to struggle. Sure, you can make it one day without contacting her but can you make it 21-30 days?
There will be some days that you are going to wake up and your whole body will hunger to call her. So, instead of being a loser and breaking NC what you can do is use your UFC type of workout as an outlet to let your stress out.
Essentially you will kill two birds with one stone. You can improve your health and resist your urges to talk to your ex at the same time.
Looks like a win/win to me!
NC Alpha Quality- Grooming
Yes, I am going to give you advice on shaving.
I know it sounds so ridiculous for a guy to be telling a bunch of other guys how they have to look but it’s happening so deal with it.
A few months ago I got curious about whether or not women like beards.
So, what did I do?
Well, I asked ten of my “girl” friends which of the following looks they preferred.
Clean Shaven- This is basically a guy who has no beard at all. He is clean shaven… I really don’t know how else to put it other than that.
Some Stubble- This is a guy who has a little bit of a beard coming in but not a full blown beard just a little bit of stubble.
Bearded- I don’t have to explain this one do I? This is a guy with a beard.
When I asked my ten “girl” friends which one of these looks they preferred the results were actually pretty interesting.
Six women chose the “clean shaven” look.
What was their reasoning?
Simple, a guy who is clean shaven obviously knows how to take care of himself. Even if he doesn’t really take care of himself a clean shaven man appears like he is.
Which way did the other votes go?
Well, the other four women voted for the “some stubble” look.
Two main points here.
Firstly, NO ONE voted for a full bearded man. Did you get that? NOT ONE WOMAN I asked said that they preferred a man with a beard.
That means if you are planning on coming out with a bearded look after your no contact period that would be a bad idea.
Secondly, when I asked the women to expand on why they chose the “stubble” look one thing became clear. Not every guy out there can pull this look off.
However, if a guy can he should definitely rock it!
What does any of this have to do with getting your ex girlfriend back?
The big takeaway that I want you to get from this is that you have to look like you take care of yourself. The second that you stop looking that way is the second you appear less attractive than you really can be.
What I want for you is that when you finally do see your ex girlfriend in person I want her to be blown away by how good you look. I want her to seriously think to herself “maybe I made a mistake.”
NC Alpha Quality – Being Comfortable
I want you to get comfortable talking to people.
Have you ever noticed that whenever you talk to someone one on one (usually a girl) the two of you can have trouble looking each other in the eye?
What usually happens is you start a conversation with a girl and you take these quick glances at each other throughout the conversation.
I don’t want that happening. What I want happening is that when you start a conversation with a person and that person looks into your eyes THEY have to be the first one to look away.
I want you to be that confident in yourself that you can do that.
I really want you to be considered an alpha male by everyone who you come in contact with. Do you want to know how you can do that?
With practice of course!
From now on whenever you talk to someone (ESPECIALLY other women) I want you to make it your goal to make them completely comfortable.
If you can get a girl to be comfortable with you then you have done a very impressive thing because 90% of men out there are idiots who can’t do it.
This begs the question.
How do you make a woman comfortable?
Well, that can actually be a complicated question and quite frankly I don’t have the time or patience to explain it to you so let me just give you the most important aspect of being comfortable.
Whenever you are talking to a woman imagine me standing right next to you. Every time you think about any of the following:
- Having sex with the woman.
- How pretty she is.
- Looking at her t*ts
- Or thinking about anything else remotely physical on her body.
Just imagine me slapping you really hard upside the head.
Look, you want to know the key to women.
Seriously, when a woman talks to you, you need to listen to what she says. Then once you have listened to what she has told you I want you to UNDERSTAND what she has told you. Oh, and I am not talking about that fake understanding stuff where you really didn’t listen but you just nodded your head every once in a while. I seriously want you to listen and understand what she said to you.
After you have done those things you are allowed to give her a response.
If you do those things trust me a woman will get comfortable talking to you.
This brings me to my next point.
NC Alpha Quality- Going Out On Dates
The best way to get comfortable talking to girl is to go out on dates with them.
Now, I get that the only reason you came to my website is because you want your ex girlfriend back. Trust me I get it but you know what. Right now you are single and rather than sitting around the house and moping around I want you to take the opposite approach.
Did you know that 9 out of 10 Facebook users check up on their exes after a breakup.
That means there is a pretty good chance that your ex girlfriend will be checking up on you.
I have a vision for you.
I have this vision that one day your ex runs into you at a coffee shop. You give her a charming smile and wave at her. She gives you a smile back and waves at you and then you do the inevitable, you talk.
The talk isn’t anything special but she begins to notice a few things. First, you are really fit now. When you were with her you weren’t exactly anything to write home about. But it was really the confidence and pleasant way of talking with her that she really took note of.
In fact, after your little talk she decided to check up on you on Facebook.
To her horror she was greeted with pictures of some other girl and you on a date. Ahh… now the jealousy is really flowing and she is beginning to revisit those feelings of wanting you back.
Going out on a date with other people can do three things for you.
Firstly, it is going to give you confidence and the ability to practice making a woman comfortable enough to talk to you.
Secondly, it might spark a little jealousy on her end.
I deal with a lot of women every day over at Ex Boyfriend Recovery. Let me tell you that the most jealous women I have seen are the ones who spy on their ex boyfriend going out on dates.
Jealousy can be a bad thing but I think in this case, if you go on a HARMLESS date, it can be a good thing.
Finally, breakups really hurt and going on a date with someone new will prove to you that you are well liked with women.
Sometimes it is just nice to get noticed by other women and that date can be that for you.
Now, I do want to mention that I don’t recommend you lead on anyone you take on a date. If your heart is with your ex girlfriend don’t be an idiot and get involved with someone new. Not only are you going to hurt your ex girlfriend by moving on so fast but you are going to hurt the new girl you date because your heart really isn’t with her.
What To Do After The No Contact Rule To Lure Your Ex Girlfriend Back?
(If you want a step by step method that will teach you to get your ex girlfriend back read Ex Girlfriend Recovery PRO.)
Ah, now the fun really starts to begin.
So far we have gone over what women find attractive and what you need to be doing during the no contact rule. In this section we are going to be talking about everything that goes on after the no contact period.
In other words, this would be the part where you actually attempt to get your girlfriend back. However, before I can start getting into specific steps I feel it is important to lay out the “big picture game plan” for you first.
Don’t worry, we will get into the smaller stuff like what to text her or what to say on the phone but before we do that you need to understand the broader picture.
The Big Picture Ex Girlfriend Back Game Plan
I can help you get your ex girlfriend back probably better than anyone out there. Sure, that may be a little arrogant of me to say but I prefer to see it as confidence.
Here is the deal though. I don’t want to help jerks. Women have enough problems with men in the world and I have no intention of adding on to them.
So, if you are only here so you can get laid or to do a quick one night stand with your ex then this is not the Program for you.
The following method I am about to outline for you should significantly improve your chances of getting your ex back. I can’t guarantee it will work 100% of the time but this is by far the most effective method I have ever seen and you are about to get it for free!
A few things to note before I start getting into this.
This game plan is meant to be a long term game plan. In other words, the only men I want reading this are the ones that are very serious about establishing a long lasting relationship with their ex if they can get them back.
OK, now that we have that out of the way lets look at big picture game plan that you have to implement to get your ex girlfriend back.
Step 1: Texting
(See The Texting Bible.)
After your no contact period is up why do you think you text your ex girlfriend as opposed to calling her?
Well, texting is usually viewed as non-threatening and it will also give you one distinct advantage that you won’t have when you call her, the ability to THINK!
I am a big fan of texting because you can think through every single word before you hit that “send” button. Of course, the trick when it comes to texting is getting her to respond but more on that later.
Step 2: Re-attract During Texting
If you do everything right you should be able to get to a place where you and your ex girlfriend will text more frequently.
I like to call this the “re-attraction” phase when it comes to texting. Essentially what you are doing here is rebuilding the broken connection with her.
As you can probably already tell we are slowly baby stepping our way to a phone call and hopefully a date.
Step 3: Phone Calls
Your ex girlfriend will respond to escalation and as you can see we are slowly rebuilding it here. The texting rebuilt some attraction but now it is time to use the phone to really kick things up a notch.
Obviously the next step in this process is to Segway from your texts into talking on the phone.
However, there is a specific way that I want you to do it (to kind of maximize your chances.) Of course, I will get into how to do that a little later. For now, lets just stick to advancing our big picture game plan.
Step 4: Re-attract During Phone Calls
Are you kind of seeing where I am going with this?
If you can get a woman to stay on the phone for you for over an hour then you have done something really impressive.
Your goal here is to rebuild your connection even more. In fact, you want to rebuild it so much that seeing each other in person is inevitable.
Oh, and it just so happens that a date is the next part of this process.
Step 5- Getting The Date
This is really your time to shine.
Once you get the date it is all up to you to really make her feel for you. By the time the date ends if she is left with this feeling of happiness and excitement then you really did your job and you are well on your way to getting her back.
What You Need To Know About Texting
In this section I am going to teach you a lot of what you need to know to text your ex girlfriend. However, I go into much more detail in my book, The Texting Bible.
Lets take a look at the big picture here for a moment.
You have just finished your no contact rule. You have read the big picture game plan so you know what you need to do. Well, this section is all about HOW you are going to implement that game plan.
What was step 1 in the BPG (big picture game plan?)
It was texting.
Now, before I can give you examples of specific text messages to use we have to go over a few of the rules.
The “Rules” Of Texting
When you date someone you are pretty much given a free pass to break all of the texting laws that I will outline here.
However, since we already know that you are no longer dating your ex there are certain rules that you have to abide by.
I would like to take a look at a few of those rules right now.
Rule 1- Don’t Be THAT Guy
They talk more than you can imagine about everything you can possibly think of.
About 3 years ago I got invited to tag along on a lunch date after a college class with three women. When we arrived at the restaurant the conversation that I witnessed was very eye opening.
Specifically, one of the women had a man who was texting her desperately. Sometimes he would send 4-5 texts back to back if he didn’t get a response.
The women just laughed at him and how pathetic he was (he kind of was.)
I don’t want that fate for you. I don’t want your ex girlfriend to show her closest friends your pathetic texts that:
- Beg for her back.
- Showing them a string of 8 texts back to back.
- Showing them texts where you get too emotional too soon and say something really dumb.
Please, don’t be THAT guy.
Rule 2- Be Aware Of Word Count (On Both Sides)
OK, imagine that you are texting your girl.
You text her a 20 word text message and she responds with a 2 word text message. Throughout your conversation (through text) this trend continues.
Now, lets try another example.
Imagine you are texting her and you send your 20 word text message but she responds with a 15 word text message and that trend pretty much continues throughout your conversation.
Which do you think is better?
A 2 word response from her suggests that she isn’t as interested in what you are saying as opposed to a 15 word response.
It is important to be aware of the word count of both of your text messages. Ideally, you are shooting for a word count that is close on both your end and hers.
Understanding The Four Different Outcomes
This is pretty much common sense.
However, sometimes common sense eludes men when they get emotional.
There are four different outcomes when it comes to text messaging. In order to get your ex girlfriend back I want you to understand each of these outcomes and what they mean. Lets look at them for a moment.
Outcome 1- A Positive Response
When you text your ex girlfriend getting a positive response from her is essential.
So, what is a positive response?
(For more example text messages I suggest you check out my Texting Bible.)
Any type or response that can make you feel good is a positive response. Take a look at the example above.
The question that this particular person asked was,
“Hey, how are you doing?”
The response to that was very positive as you can see. Ultimately, getting happy responses like these when you text your ex girlfriend is the goal.
Lets move on and take a look at the next type of response.
Outcome 2- A Neutral Response
Have you ever been texting a girl and things are going great. You are invested in the conversation and she is invested in the conversation.
It’s almost like you can do nothing wrong. You keep getting positive response after positive response and then all of a sudden you are met with a neutral response like this:
(See The Texting Bible for more example texts.)
A neutral response is basically the type of response where someone responds to you but they don’t seem very invested in the conversation anymore.
What is going on here?
Are they just getting bored talking to you?
Most men freak out when they text a girl and all of a sudden get a neutral response. However, the truth is that it is impossible to get a positive response every single time you text someone. Every once in a while a neutral response is going to find it’s way into the conversation.
Women can do this for any number of reasons.
Maybe they are just really busy and didn’t have the time to compose a well thought out response. Maybe they sensed YOU were starting to get neutral and returned the favor.
However, in my opinion most women send neutral text messages as a way to test you to see just how much you like them.
Here is what they are thinking in their minds:
“I wonder just how much he values me? I think I am just going to send a really short text to see if he will respond.”
Most guys make the mistake of seeing a short text from a girl and automatically assuming that she isn’t interested. While that may be the case (as I am about to explain) it could also be that she is using it as a way to test you to see just how interested you are in her.
Now, what do I mean when I say that sometimes short neutral text messages can be a sign that she isn’t interested in you.
If every single text message you send is greeted with a neutral response that is probably not a good sign. It probably means that she is just too nice to not respond to you.
Outcome 3- A Negative Response
Everyone is scared of a negative response when it comes to text messaging. Especially the men trying to get their exes back.
All the experts advise you to handle texting situations with kid gloves.
OK, most of the time a negative response is triggered by something you have done in the past. Since we are dealing with ex girlfriends here you are going to be much more prone to this type of a response.
But how are you supposed to deal with a negative response?
Many men fall into the trap of starting an argument with a girl. To me, if you handle negative responses with dignity and class you come out so much better in the end.
So, if you get a negative response I just want you to repeat this in your head over and over:
“I will be as classy as I possibly can to her.”
Don’t start an argument.
Don’t get overly upset at the things she said to you.
Don’t let it affect you to the point where you can’t focus the entire day. Just text her very calmly and be as classy as you possibly can.
Outcome 4- No Response
I don’t really need to explain this one to you do I?
Essentially, what happens with this one is you send a text and there is no response to it.
I guess the question on the table here though is what does it mean when she ignores you?
Since we are dealing with ex girlfriends here I am going to assume that you are wondering what your ex is thinking rather than the general population of girls because trust me there is a difference between an ex ignoring you and just some girl you are “talking” to.
Why is there a difference?
At one point you convinced this girl to date you. That means for a certain segment of time in her life she probably obsessed about you every single day. This means that she formed an emotional attachment to you and she does care about what you think.
Usually when an ex girlfriend ignores you it means that she is upset with you over something.
So, does this mean you pry and fix the problem immediately?
Most men fall into this trap.
Here is what you should do. If she is ignoring you accept that she is upset with you. However, also accept the fact that somewhere deep down in her mind she kind of wants you to “fight for her forgiveness.”
You don’t want to do this right away.
Eventually you do want to fight for her forgiveness but you want her to respond to you right?
The better approach is to leave her alone for a few days. It will be tough but if you do it she will probably be left thinking to herself:
“OMG… he is not going to fight for me 🙁 .”
Why do you want her to think this?
Well, because when you do fight for her she is going to be overcome with some serious positive emotions and those emotions will cause her to respond to your texts.
How To Build Attraction When You Text Your Ex Girlfriend
Now that you kind of know the rules behind texting lets talk about what you need to do to build attraction.
When you look to build attraction with a girl when it comes to texting you can’t immediately come out of the gates and send some super emotional text message. I mean, I suppose you could but don’t expect to get your ex back with that strategy.
Women love to be romanced and romancing a woman the proper way takes time, effort and a bit of strategy.
I am going to go over exactly how you can properly “romance” your ex girlfriend after the no contact period.
First things first though, what do you think your ultimate goal is when it comes to text messaging?
I want you to take things slow and only aim to get on the phone with your ex girlfriend. In other words, your main goal here is not to get a date but rather to just simply talk on the phone with your ex.
Remember how the progression goes:
Texting/Attraction = Phone/Attraction = Date/Attraction.
The First Text Message After No Contact
How do you think you are supposed to approach the first text message after the no contact period has concluded?
Most men make the mistake of “going for it all” right off the bat. That is a HUGE mistake. Remember, this entire process isn’t meant to be completed over the course of a day but rather the course of weeks or months.
The same can be applied to the first text message you send after the no contact period. Rather than going for it all I would actually recommend that you make the entire interaction very brief and end the conversation first.
Here is a textbook example taken from my book, The Texting Bible:
There are a few things that I want you to take note of.
Firstly, I want you to notice how the initial start of the text, the “I saw “Psych” and thought of you” was very interesting. Your goal here is to come up with a text message that is so interesting that it will be impossible for her to not respond to it.
Secondly, check out how quickly the conversation ended. The person sent the initial text, got a positive response and then ended the entire conversation with a “I’ll text you later.”
The theory behind this is that you want to prime the girl for another text message. By saying “I’ll text you later” she will be constantly checking her phone thinking to herself,
“When is he going to text me?”
That’s a good question actually. When do you text her next?
Wait a minimum of 24 hours and a maximum of 48 hours before you get back to her. I know waiting sucks but you want her to be really excited to hear from you again.
Diving Into General Memories
When it comes to attracting an ex girlfriend through text messaging there are really only two memories that matter.
1. General Memories
2. Emotional Memories
Obviously this section is going to be focusing on the general memories that you can use in your favor to get your ex girlfriend back.
I have a question for you though. Why do you think I chose to talk about general memories as opposed to emotional memories first?
In my experience it is best to slowly prime a girl to talk about emotional stuff.
I want you to imagine something for a moment.
You and your ex girlfriend are texting. However, instead of following any of my advice you come right out and start getting down to the “emotional” stuff. This causes a snowball effect that eventually leads to a fight and you are right back at square one.
Now, this negative outcome could have been avoided if you had primed or tested to see if your ex was ready to dive into more emotional things.
The key is to use POSITIVE memories that the two of you had together that aren’t very emotional.
Good examples include:
- A fun hike that the two of you had together.
- An inside joke that only the two of you would understand.
- A movie you saw together.
- You get the idea 😉 .
Here is a good example using hiking.
The idea here is to use the positive memory of the hike to sort of get her to associate those positive feelings she gets when she thinks about it with you.
Now, I have talked a lot about priming or “testing” in this section.
Let’s say that hypothetically you pull off the general memory text and get a lot of positive responses. Well, the positive responses are an indicator that she is primed to jump into more emotional stuff right?
Remember, this process is very delicate and one misstep can screw everything up entirely. The smarter play would be to end the conversation on a high note and get to the emotional stuff another day.
Diving Into Old EMOTIONAL Memories
Emotional memories are really where you are going to make most of the headway on getting your ex girlfriend back.
Women are emotional creatures.
A few years ago I met this girl who I really liked. At the time, I considered her to be the most intelligent woman I had ever met before and at the time (she isn’t anymore) she definitely was.
The entire time I talked to her she kept telling me how she wasn’t emotional at all and how she always based her decisions on logic and like an idiot I took the bait.
Seriously, I remember thinking to myself:
“I believe her.”
Never in my life have I met a more emotional girl than this one. The funniest part was that when I called her out on it she went into denial. This girl was super emotional and she was in total denial about it.
The morale of the story is this.
99% of women make major relationship decisions based on their emotions. So, it only makes sense that one of the best ways to get your ex girlfriend back will be to tap into her emotions and you are going to do this three ways.
The first way is going to be right here through text. The next way is going to be over the phone (which I will talk about in a minute) and the last way is obviously going to be in person.
But first things first, how do you tap into emotional memories over text messages?
I want you to think back to your relationship with your ex. I am assuming that the two of you had some highly POSITIVE emotional moments.
Oh, and I am not talking about anything sexual.
Yes, sex is a HUGE part of a relationship but how do you think it’s going to go over with your ex if she thinks you just want to become friends with benefits with her?
The answer is not well.
Rather, I want you to think back to every conversation that you have ever had with her. Now, girls are talkative so chances are high she would have let you known when you did something that meant A LOT to her.
I will give you a personal example.
An ex girlfriend of mine always used to tell me how much she appreciated me sending her a sweet text in the morning.
Since I know for a fact that is an “emotional” high point for her I would probably say something like this in a text message:
(Check out more examples of texts with The Texting Bible)
Now, obviously you have to come up with your own emotional text to send. However, once you do make sure you commit to it.
Too many guys wuss out on opening up to girls and it’s a shame because often times the greatest rewards comes from doing the things that scare us the most.
Transitioning From Text Messages To Phone Calls
There are many different ways to transition from texting to a phone call.
There is obviously the “I don’t care I am just going to call instead of text” method. This is basically where instead of texting a girl one day you just decide to call her up.
However, I am not a fan of this method for a few reasons.
For one, if you call her when she isn’t “ready” to talk to you it can kind of hurt your ego to not have her pick up. Secondly, what if she is in the middle of a class or meeting? I would rather you not put that kind of unnecessary pressure on her.
Instead, I am going to teach you the PERFECT way to transition from a text to a phone call so listen up.
The way this works is simple.
Lets pretend that the two of you are texting each other and you are having a really good conversation together.
You are responding to her and she is responding to you. Somewhere in the middle of this interaction you find yourself thinking that the two of you are talking a lot.
This is good.
When this happens it is time to transition into a phone call like this:
Now, obviously you are going to have to figure out an interesting little anecdote to share with her but that is easy and it doesn’t have to be anything big.
Ex Girlfriend Rules For Talking On The Phone
It doesn’t take a genius to realize that talking on the phone is very different than texting.
In this section I would like to make you aware of a few of the guidelines that you should follow when you do finally take that step to talking on the phone with your ex girlfriend.
I think the best way to start this off is by talking about something I feel a lot of men fail to realize about women on the phone.
What To Say On The Phone
Women will always have men beat in one area when it comes to communication.
That area would be in listening.
You see, most men fail to realize that women are listening VERY CLOSELY to every little thing that they say on the phone.
So, when you do get on the phone make sure you make that time count.
I guess the question on the table now is:
“How do you make the most of your time on the phone?”
It is a good question and that is what I plan on talking about here.
The Awkward Silences
Every time you talk on the phone with someone you really like there are going to be awkward silences where neither person can think of something to say.
Usually, this is when your mind starts racing to fill those gaps in with words.
Now, too much awkward silence is never a good thing because nothing can get done if no one is saying anything so this section is all about how to deal with the awkward silence.
The smartest thing you can do is to come up with a list of things to talk about so you always have something to say to fill in the gaps.
I am not saying you have to write down the entire conversation you plan on having on a piece of paper but I am saying to write down a few things on a “cheat sheet” so you can glance over a list of ideas to talk about when the awkward silences set in.
For example, lets pretend that you and your ex girlfriend start talking on the phone and you encounter an awkward silence. Rather than sitting for a minute wracking your brain for something to talk about you could glance at your cheat sheet and know immediately.
The Idea Of Leaving A Conversation At It’s High Point
Without a doubt the hardest thing to do when it comes to talking on the phone is ending a conversation when you are really enjoying it.
When I am falling for a girl I can talk on the phone for hours with her. Maybe I glance at the clock and see that I have something else to do in about 30 minutes and internally I tell myself:
“Ok, in 30 minutes I am going to end this conversation.”
However, 30 minutes later I find myself saying:
“Ok, just 10 more minutes.”
I liken it to hitting the snooze button on your alarm clock in the morning. Pretty soon, you look up and see an hour or two has passed and you don’t know where the time went as you were just enjoying the company of someone else.
While it is an amazing feeling to get caught up in the moment it can also make saying goodbye extremely difficult.
Most people will tell you that the “snooze button” example I gave above is a very good thing when it comes to building or in your case rebuilding a relationship.
I mostly agree with those people.
However, we are in this for the long game right?
Well, one of the negatives of carrying on a conversation for that amount of time is that you don’t leave a person wanting more. Sure, if the conversation was amazing they may call back the next day. However, what if I told you that there was a surefire way to leave your ex girlfriend wanting more.
Imagine this for a moment.
You are talking to your ex on the phone and the conversation is going great. Awkward silences are left to a minimum and you can tell she is very responsive. Maybe the two of you talked about something that was funny or emotional and both of you reacted very well to it.
Well, rather than trust your heart which will tell you:
“KEEP TALKING TO HER!!!”
Trust your brain and end the conversation prematurely in a very nice way. This will do a few things.
Firstly, you will be on her mind for the rest of the day GUARANTEED!
Secondly, you will leave her wanting more and that feeling will cause her to text you, call you and even raise your chances of seeing her in person.
Seeing Your Ex Girlfriend In Person
(Check out my book, Ex Girlfriend Recovery PRO to learn how to get your ex girlfriend back.)
The main purpose of everything on this page is to help improve your chances of getting your ex girlfriend back.
Obviously you can’t get her back if you aren’t able to see her in person. So, getting to see your ex in person on a REAL date is essential to this process.
I would like to take a moment and talk about how you can accomplish that.
Getting A Date With Your Ex
Getting a date with your ex is all about building up positive “points.”
What do you think I mean by that?
Women often have this internal tally of points in their head when they are determining whether or not to go on a date with a guy. Now, most women aren’t even aware of this because it all happens so fast in their own minds.
For example, lets say that a random girl meets a guy at a bar. She immediately sizes up the following:
He is good looking = +1 Positive Point
He has a good job = +1 Positive Point
He can make her laugh = +1 Positive Point
His personality is great = +1 Positive Point
The point is that if you build up enough of these positive points (and avoid the negative ones) you should be able to get a date.
There is just one problem. What are you supposed to do if she has already “sized” your positive points up?
Well, there is good news and there is bad news.
The bad news is that no matter what a breakup is going to hurt your chances of going on a date again. Usually bad things are said during a breakup that can hurt any “positive points” you may have build up for a date.
The good news is that it is entirely possible to re-build those points.
You can do this through building positive rapport with her through text messages or on the phone. While you are building that rapport you want to do your best to remind her what she loved about you in the first place without actively reminding her (if that makes any sense.)
If you do a good job of building up those points again getting a date should be simple.
Tips For When You Are On The Date
Up until this point this Ex Girlfriend Back “Guide” has been over twelve thousand words. I am telling you that because I could literally write a guide of the same length to cover EVERYTHING you will need to know about going on a date but I don’t really have the time or patience to do that (though maybe one day soon I will.)
Anyways, what I plan on doing is giving you the one BIG tip that can really go a long ways when it comes to your ex girlfriend.
It just so happens that this tip is really easy to understand but hard to put in action.
Seriously, all I want you to do is really focus on listening during your date with your ex. It’s such a simple concept isn’t it?
And yet, time after time men find it so hard to put into action.
Hey, I get it. There have been times where I have been on dates where I literally couldn’t think anything other than:
“Whoa…. look how pretty her eyes are!”
But a date is not a time for you to stop and stare. If you do your job right then you can have plenty of time for that later. A date is all about listening and understanding exactly what your ex is telling you.
If you do that then you will have more than a fighting chance.