How To Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back

You are going to fail.

I know that is a very strange way to start a page entitled “how to get your ex girlfriend back” but the truth of the matter is that you are going to fail.

Now, I am not saying that it is impossible to get her back. On the contrary, if you play your cards right then you can drastically improve your chances of winning her back.

Of course, with the way you are doing things right now… well, you are going to fail.

How do I know you are going to fail?

Lets be honest here, if you are desperate enough to type “how do I get my ex girlfriend back” into Google then you definitely need help.

I am not saying this to sound presumptuous or arrogant. I am just saying this because it is a fact, you desperately want your ex back.

So, I am going to make you a promise.

My Promise To You

Look, all that anxiety and desperation you are feeling, let go of it.

I promise you that this page is going to blow you away with it’s insight and actionable steps. Take it from someone who has helped over 20,000 women with their exes (see my sister site Ex Boyfriend Recovery) that this desperation you are feeling is not helping you, it’s hurting you.

So, here is my promise to you.

I promise that if you follow the advice on this page then your chances of getting your ex back will increase. Now, I do want to point out that I can’t guarantee that your girlfriend will come back. Ultimately the final decision on whether or not you two should be a couple again lies with her.

However, if you do everything on this page then hopefully it will be her who begs to be back with you.

So, what is this epic guide on getting an ex girlfriend back going to cover?

I am glad you asked.

What This Guide Covers


I put a lot of work into this page (half a year to be exact.) Yup, I have been planning on helping men get their exes back for over half a year. I know that sounds a little insane but I am actually a pretty busy guy so it was all really a matter of finding the time to finally put this project in motion.

Throughout that half year I have been slowly compiling information to include in this massive guide.

I remember literally thinking to myself.

“If I were to create the best guide in the world on getting an ex girlfriend back what would I say?”

Well, this guide is the result of that question. It is going to include things like:

  • Three areas of life that you have to succeed at.
  • The criteria women use to choose men.
  • The types of behaviors you need to avoid.
  • The no contact rule.
  • What to do during the no contact rule.
  • A step by step game plan to getting an ex girlfriend back.
  • What to text an ex girlfriend.
  • What to say during a call with an ex girlfriend.
  • What to do on a date with an ex girlfriend.

Oh, and before we really get started I just want to let you know that this guide is going to be very long. In fact, it may be the longest guide on getting an ex girlfriend back online right now. It was designed to be this way because I don’t want to leave anything out and this is a very complex subject.

Consider yourself warned!

Lets get started.

The Three Areas Of Life Where You Need To Succeed


Right now your life is out of balance. Your heart has been broken and there are probably moments throughout the day where you just sit and find yourself wondering,

“Will this pain ever go away?”

Believe me I have been there. I remember I once got so upset about a girl that I sat alone in my room for about an hour just staring into space wondering if I was destined to be alone.

When things like this happen it only means one thing, your life is out of balance.

As you will learn in Ex Girlfriend Recovery PRO life can generally be divided up into three different categories.

Your Health
Your Wealth
Your Love Life

I would like to take a moment and explain what each of these “areas” are.

Your Health

This refers to things like your overall health and how good of shape you are in.

So, lets say that this area of your life is out of balance. This could mean a lot of things. Maybe you are a chronic smoker and get lung cancer. Perhaps you are considered to be obese. Maybe you have an acne problem and it causes issues with your confidence.

The point is that if this area of your life is out of balance most women won’t find you attractive.

Don’t believe me.

Ok, try this on for size.

Imagine for a moment that you smoke and are really obese. If I were to put you side by side by a man who doesn’t smoke and is not obese and gave a very beautiful woman the choice between the two of you which person do you think she will choose?

Food for thought?

Your Wealth

This one is pretty self explanatory.

How rich are you? What kind of job do you have? Do you have any goals for your future? What kind of car do you drive? Do you have “status?”

All of this stuff is included in the “your wealth” category.

It’s interesting, I was actually watching a documentary on Netflix the other day called “The Science of Sex Appeal.”

In that documentary they performed a very interesting experiment. They took about ten men and got a bunch of women to rate their attractiveness on a 1-10 scale.

The point of the experiment is to see how much a job title or having a certain “status” matters to women. Each of the men who were rated were given an imaginary job title and salary figure. That information was placed on a piece of paper with their picture.

The actual experiment then took place on the street where random women were surveyed and asked to rate the men in the pictures.

The experimenters took the man who was rated as the worst looking “in the lab” and assigned him a high power job and a very high yearly salary. Suddenly a “4” turned into a “10.” Then the experimenters decided to take the man who was rated as the best looking “in the lab” and assigned him with a bad job and a very low yearly salary. The man who was originally an “8” suddenly turned into a “4” just because of this low job title.

So, your job title and status definitely matters to women. Now, I am not saying that all you need to do to get your ex back is to get a super high paying job. No, there is a lot more to re-attracting a woman than that.

I am just pointing out that this stuff matters. Besides, something tells me that you are going to have a lot more confidence walking into a room if you were making six figures a year as opposed to something lower.

Lets take a look at the next area of your life which has definitely taken a hit.

Your Love Life

How do I know that your love life sucks right now?

Well, something must be out of sorts if you are reading a page like this (no offense.)

When I say love life what do I mean? Am I only talking about potential sexual partners? No, your love life extends beyond that. It can include things like family, friends, business relationships, etc.

Of course, it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that when I talk about your love life on this site I am usually referring to the relationships with your potential sexual partners (your ex girlfriend.)

Here is an interesting question.

What do you think happens when your love life begins to suffer but the rest of the aspects of your life are pretty good ( physical and wealth?)

If this happens that will usually mean that your mental health is going to be compromised. In other words, you are going to get really depressed and stare into space for long periods of time (like I told you I did.)

I guess the point of me telling you this is that all three of these areas of your life intersect with each other.

Applying These Three Aspects Of Your Life To Getting Your Ex Back

getting an ex back

So, the big question you are probably wondering to yourself is,

“Well, all of this is very insightful and all but how the heck is it going to help me get my ex girlfriend back?”

I can’t say this is will be the case for every single person reading this guide but usually if a breakup occurs between you and your ex it can put these three major areas in your life in turmoil.

For example, if your ex girlfriend breaks up with you then that means the “love life” aspect of your life has just taken a hit. Maybe after this happens you decide that you don’t have the drive to work hard at work anymore (wealth.) You also become very depressed and in this state of depression you pack on a few pounds (health.)

As you can see, the first step to getting your ex girlfriend back is to sit up and realize that these three areas need to be restored to their former glory.

So, from this point on I want you to focus on improving your health, wealth and love life.

Lets move on to a very important topic, what NOT to do.

Behaviors You Need To Avoid

ex gf

Listen up because this is an important section. I am going to do my best to list all of the behaviors that you need to avoid if you want to have the best chance of getting your ex girlfriend back.

Now, before I really dive in I want to make something clear. If you have committed any of the “sins” I am about here this doesn’t mean that you have no chance of getting her back. It just means you have a little extra work ahead of you.

With this in mind lets begin!

Bad Behavior 1- Gnatting

One of the phrases that I coined for my book, The Texting Bible is a text gnat.

What is this?

Have you ever been outside and had a gnat fly around your head? Well, if you have then you know it can be extremely annoying because no matter where you go this stupid gnat will follow you around. No matter how many times you swat it away the gnat will come back.

Are you getting where I am going with this?

In this analogy YOU are the gnat.

One of the biggest mistakes that I see men make when trying to win back their ex girlfriend is that they don’t know when enough is enough.

Winning an ex girlfriend back is all about projecting this “alpha male” type of persona. Well, nothing kills that persona more than a guy who constantly texts and leaves himself too available for a woman.

You know what is worse than this?

A guy who constantly calls when a girl doesn’t want to talk to him. You know how you can tell if a girl doesn’t want to talk to you?


Nothing screams insecure more to a girl than seeing a guy blow her phone up with 10 missed calls.

Don’t be a gnat…

Just don’t do it.

Bad Behavior 2- Neediness

Have you ever heard that quote “neediness is the opposite of attraction?”

Aint that the truth!

Don’t get me wrong. Women do like a certain amount of neediness BUT there is a difference between the neediness they like and the neediness and insecurity that you are displaying.

So, what is the type of neediness that women like and what is the type of neediness that they don’t like?

Well, lets start with the good type of neediness first.

Would you like to know the reason most women cheat on men? Unlike men, it isn’t because they get horny (though I am sure there are exceptions to that rule.)

No, it is usually because they feel under appreciated or like they weren’t NEEDED enough.

A little neediness is ok for most women. They like feeling wanted and needed by you. However, when your neediness becomes excessive and insecure it can become a problem.

What is an example of insecure neediness?

Imagine for a moment that during your relationship with your ex girlfriend you were always very nervous about her talking to other men. So, every time you would catch her texting another guy innocently you would throw this big temper tantrum.

While I suppose this can be classified as jealousy and not neediness it highlights the insecurity I am trying to capture here.

Insecurity and neediness isn’t going to be a winning formula for winning back your ex girlfriend. Trust me on this.

Qualities That You Need To Obtain (Becoming The Alpha Male)

alpha male

One of the most important aspects to getting your ex girlfriend back is becoming the alpha male (more on that later.) For now, what I would like to focus our attention on are the qualities that you need to obtain in order to become an alpha male.

Remember, we are talking about your ex girlfriend here so at one point you were considered an alpha male to her (because lets be honest all women want to date the alpha male.) However, now that the two of you broke up you lost your standing as the alpha male and it is up to you to regain it.

So, how do we construct an alpha male?

Well, I think the best way to do that is to work backwards and look at how almost every single woman in the world chooses a man.

Below I have listed all of the qualities that women consider when choosing a potential mate. Some of these qualities mean more than others and some are completely out of your control. However, most women consider these qualities when they look at you. The idea is to maximize as many qualities as you can to give yourself the best chance to re-attract your ex.

Ahem… ahem… you might want to write a few of these down.

Quality- Looks

Lets do a fun exercise.

I think we can all collectively agree that most women think Brad Pitt is good looking.

Alright, here comes the fun part.

If I were to put you and Brad Pitt up against a wall and have your ex girlfriend choose someone based on looks solely something tells me that you wouldn’t be chosen.

Whether we like it or not looks will play a role into how women choose men. However, the main point I want to make here is to not put too much stock into the looks quality.

Lets say that you are just an average looking guy. You aren’t terrible looking but you aren’t good looking either. If you were to rank really highly in the rest of the qualities in this section your looks wouldn’t really matter as much to women.

The point I am trying to make here is that women are more than happy to date someone who isn’t as good looking as them as long as they can bring other good qualities to the table.

Don’t believe me?

About a year ago I went out to lunch with a few friends (3 girls to be exact.) Of course, when you are the only guy among girls the conversation eventually turns to dating. I don’t remember exactly how it happened but someone brought up the question of looks.

“Wow, I would NEVER date a guy better looking than me. I did it once and felt horrible about myself.”

Did you get that? These girls actually all agreed that they preferred men who weren’t as good looking as them.

So, trust me when I say that while looks matter they don’t matter as much as you would believe.

Quality- Height

This is another one of those qualities that you really have no control over.

Many women will prefer a taller and better looking man over a shorter and uglier one. This is just common sense.

But the thing I really want to talk about with this quality is the fact that just because you are tall it doesn’t mean that you are guaranteed to get your ex girlfriend back.

It is going to take a lot more than good looks to re-flip the attraction switches within your ex girlfriend and therein lies the dilemma for good looking and tall men.

I have a pretty good looking friend (who also happens to be tall.) Every time I used to go to the bar with him I was amazed at the amount of women that hit on him. Of course, with me being the jealous person that I was I started studying exactly what he was doing to get these women to flock to him.

I watched him pick up women left and right and I still couldn’t figure out what he was doing.

So, I did what I should have done in the first place, I asked him.

“Why are all these women always hitting on you?”

He gave probably the most honest answer I have ever heard in my life,

“Look around… I don’t want to sound arrogant or anything but do you see a better looking guy at the bar than me?”

“To be honest man… no I don’t” I said.

The point of his response was that every time he walked into a room it was like all the women stopped and stared. He didn’t have to try to get girls because from the moment he hit high school (I was friends with him there) all the women flocked to him.

It was a bit unfair but his looks and height had one big downfall.

They wouldn’t be enough to get his ex girlfriend back. You see, when you have a real relationship with someone it goes far beyond looks and height. You need to do a lot more.

So, if you are tall or good looking my point here is that you can’t assume that those aspects alone will be enough to get a girl back.

Quality- Health & Hygiene

The only fat people I know that get beautiful women are CEO’s of Fortune 500 Companies.

If you are fat then this is your wake up call.


Women will always find a man who is fit more attractive than a man who has let himself go. In fact, one of the many reasons a girl may have broke up with you is because you stopped taking care of yourself.

Now, I am not saying that you have to get in olympic level shape or anything like that. What I am trying to tell you is that if you can just get fit looking as opposed to fat looking it is going to help you so much in your quest to get your ex girlfriend back.

There isn’t much more to say about the “health” quality so lets move on to the hygiene one.

When I was in College I sat next to one of the most interesting men I have ever met. This guy was good looking, tall and the more I got to know him the more I thought to myself,

“This lucky guy must have women flocking to him like white on rice.”

That was when I smelled it…

BO (body odor.)

Do you know what poor hygiene says about a person?

They don’t take care of themselves.

Yellow teeth and horrible smells coming from your body is a huge red flag to a girl.

Don’t be the bad smelling guy… be the good smelling one.

Quality- Grooming

I want to stick to this type of thinking for a moment.

You know, the not taking care of yourself type of thinking.

I would also say that grooming falls into this.

Look, the only two people that can pull off a full grown beard are Santa Claus and The Most Interesting Man In The World.

Since I know for a fact that you are not either of those men you might need to rethink your gandalf beard.

I am not saying you can’t have a little scruff but it needs to be “under control.”

In other words, it needs to be obvious that you take care of yourself and are well groomed.

Quality- Fashion

I want you to imagine something for a moment.

Lets say that the best looking man in the world walked into the bar full of women. Now, this guy is so good looking that all he has to do is walk in and sit down and women immediately swoon. Every single girl he ever attempts to go after he gets.

Now, lets take the best looking man in the world and dress him like a homeless person. His clothes smell, they are covered in dirt and it literally looks like he lives under a bridge.

Something tells me that if this version of the best looking man in the world walked into a bar he would not have the same effect on women.

Whether you like it or not fashion matters to women, even your ex girlfriend.

I am not saying that you have to dress like a hollywood actor or anything like that but you do need to look nice every time you see a girl (especially your ex girlfriend going forward.)

Quality- Comfortability

Have you ever gotten a woman so comfortable with you that she can be herself?

In my experience, women are some of the most guarded creatures in the world.

Think about it from their perspective for a moment. A drop dead gorgeous woman has to almost question every mans intentions with her. She probably gets hit on multiple times a day so she has her guard up.

If you are able to get a woman to lower her guard and let you in then you have accomplished one of the hardest tasks in the world.

Usually comfortability and “letting someone in” go hand in hand. So, if you can make a woman completely comfortable with you then she is more likely to let you in.

Of course, we are dealing with your ex girlfriend here so while you may have at one point gotten her comfortable with you the fact that you are no longer dating her probably causes her to leave her guard up.

Quality- Actually Having A Life

Would you like to know the approach that almost all successful ex recovery people take to getting their exes back?

They actually have a life outside of their relationship with their girlfriend.

If your entire world right now revolves around your ex girlfriend then you probably aren’t going to do well when it comes to getting her back.

Why do you think that is?

I mean, an argument can be made that someone who is hyper targeted on an ex can devote more time and attention to her and yield more successful results.

The biggest fact I use to combat this argument is actually pretty simple.

Have you ever been hyper targeted on a girl before?

Speaking from experience it isn’t really that enjoyable. Every single text, word or action that, that person takes is dissected and it can literally drive you nuts.

If you are on the edge of your seat for every text, response or call then you aren’t going to do well because you don’t want to rush this thing. Instead, you kind of want things to unfold naturally (more on this later.)

The No Contact Rule

(To learn more about the no contact rule and what to do after it read Ex Girlfriend Recovery PRO.)


The no contact rule is going to be an essential part of getting your girlfriend back. The premise is actually very simple and yet with that simplicity in mind it is probably one of the hardest things to successfully get through.

Before I get into anything too serious lets take a moment and go over what a no contact rule is.

The No Contact Rule- A period of time where you are not allowed to talk to your ex at all. You can’t pick up your phone if she calls, texts or Facebooks you. To add on to that you are also not allowed to reach out to your ex at all during the no contact rule.

(Learn more about the no contact rule with Ex Girlfriend Recovery PRO.)

This brings us to the million dollar question. How long are you supposed to stay in the no contact rule?

When I first started to research NC (no contact) I compiled all of my research and discovered the length of time that many of the experts agreed was ideal, 30 days.

Now, I run a fairly large website (Ex Boyfriend Recovery) and have literally seen people go through the no contact rule thousands of times. Experience has taught me that 30 days should be more of a guideline to follow. Sometimes circumstances cause you to end it sooner or extend it beyond a month.

So, what I have done is compiled a list of guidelines that you should follow when you implement your own no contact rule.

The thing you have to remember is that NC is only effective if you let a good amount of time pass. Anyone can ignore someone for a day but it can have an entirely different effect if you were to ignore someone for a month.

Do you kind of see what I am talking about?

In my opinion, there are only three lengths of NC that you should implement.

The 21 Day No Contact

This is the shortest span of NC that I would recommend.

Why 21 days?

Women can have a lot of different types of responses to a no contact rule. A common response is that they will go batsh*t crazy when you start ignoring them. While this is kind of good because it means that they still care for you deep down we also don’t want them to suffer.

You see, one of the biggest risks of doing no contact is the fact that if you let it go on for too long it will make your attempt to get your ex girlfriend back harder than it needs to be. The idea is to time no contact perfectly so that they are literally hungering for you to message them.

I have found that for women who get extremely emotional/needy/angry/upset during NC you don’t have to complete the full 30 days since 21 days should do the trick.

The 30 Day No Contact Rule

Not every woman is going to act super upset or angry that you aren’t contacting them. That doesn’t mean that they aren’t feeling it inside it just means that they are doing a good job of hiding it on the outside.

The 30 day no contact rule is perfect for women who maybe contact you once or twice during NC and then sort of “get the hint.”

I would also say that 30 days is perfect in some cases where a woman doesn’t contact you at all during NC (which can happen.)

If you were to ask me personally which one of these three no contact time periods I would choose I would definitely say the 30 day rule is the best one.

However, the next rule also has some interesting aspects to it.

The 45 Day No Contact Rule

There will be a certain type of woman that is very stubborn. It doesn’t mean she doesn’t care it just means that she is really set on this idea that the guy is the one that has to make contact first.

This is completely ok.

Just because she believes that it doesn’t mean that the no contact rule isn’t working it just means you are going to have to extend the NC rule a bit to amp up its affect on her.

45 days is the highest amount of period that I would recommend going on a stubborn woman who doesn’t contact you during the NC rule.

Other Factors Of NC


There are a few more things about no contact that I feel we need to discuss before we can move on.

The first thing are the cases where it is ok to break NC. Off the top of my head I can think of two scenarios where NC has to be broken.

The first scenario is when a child is involved.

NC When Children Are Involved

You can’t really complete a full NC rule if you and your ex have children. Instead, I would recommend you start a limited contact rule. This is essentially the same exact thing as no contact except you are allowed to break the NC for conversations that are only about your kids.

For example, you can’t talk to your ex at all about your previous relationship or where things stand right now. However, you are allowed to talk to them about who picks up the kids from school or things like that.

The other scenario where it is ok to break no contact has to do with living situations.

NC When You Live With An Ex Girlfriend

In the rare event that you live with your ex girlfriend you can’t really do no contact without seem like a total D-Bag. So, I recommend you take the following approach:

Too often do I see ex couples get in shouting matches where someone yells something unforgivable and then a lamp gets thrown.

Instead of doing that I want you to handle this breakup with class. Sure, your heart may be broken on the inside but when you are in a room with your ex I want you to hold your head high. I want you to be nice and kill her with kindness.

Now, I don’t want you to engage her in any long and meaningful conversations yet. Wait until your 30 days are up for that. Instead, keep any conversations you have with her very short but pleasant. The idea is that when you leave the room she has to think to herself:

“Is this real? Is he really doing that great without me?”

What You Are Supposed To Do During NC

what can you do

In this section I am going to teach you exactly what you need to do during the no contact period to give yourself the best chance to succeed in getting your ex girlfriend back.

For a more extensive look at what you need to be doing during NC take a look at Ex Girlfriend Recovery PRO.

Right off the bat probably the best advice I can give you is that the reason most people fail at getting an ex back is because they are flat out lazy. Look, I can’t guarantee that you are going to succeed at this but I can guarantee that if you work hard you are going to make positive progress and that is probably more than you can say right now.

I think probably the best way to start this is to talk about the importance of working during the no contact rule.

You Have To Work Hard During The No Contact Rule

work hard

I gave you three possible no contact rules to follow. Lets take a moment and refresh our memories on what those three rules were:

1. The 21 Day NC Rule
2. The 30 Day NC Rule
3. The 45 Day NC Rule

Whichever no contact rule you choose to do I feel it is really important for me to mention that this is not a vacation and this isn’t going to be easy.

In fact, you are going to be tempted so many times to contact your ex that at times you will probably get depressed but whatever happens DO NOT DO IT!

Stick to your allotted time and focus on what I talk about in this section.

Another thing that really annoys me about you guys (yes I am talking to you) is that you think this no contact period alone will be enough to get your ex girlfriend back. Trust me it won’t be. You are going to have to do more (which I will be covering.) Think of the no contact rule as the first big stepping stone to success.

This leads us to what I really wanted to talk about.

I know no matter what I say here some men will read this and go right into no contact rule. Of course, the big mistake that they make is the fact that consider the no contact rule to be a vacation and they won’t do anything during it.


The no contact rule is a time where you have a lot to do. You pretty much need to consider every single day during your no contact period as a day where you can slowly improve your situation (but mostly yourself as I will talk about in a moment.)

So, the big revelation I want you to take from this section is the fact that I am going to put you to work during your no contact rule but I promise it will pay off in the end BIG TIME!

Now, lets take a look at what you are going to be doing during your no contact period.

The Alpha Qualities

I want you to take a moment to revisit the sections on “The three areas where you need to succeed in life” and “The alpha male qualities.”

Those sections are crucial because what you are going to be doing during the no contact rule is going to tie directly into them.

Actually, it is kind of interesting. Every single one of the alpha male qualities will tie directly into one of the three areas of life that you need to succeed.

For example, the “hygiene” alpha male quality ties directly into the “health” area of life. Do you kind of get it?




Whatever we are moving on.

What I am going to do now is give you some action items that you need to complete. The main goal here is self improvement and the best way you can do that is to fulfill the potential of all your alpha male qualities.

Don’t worry, I am going to hold your hand like a toddler throughout the entire process so lets get started.

NC Alpha Quality- Looks

How do you work on your looks?

I mean, lets be honest here. Not all of us are Brad Pitt and therein lies the problem.

I have given advice out to men before where I told them to “use the no contact rule to improve.” Well, they automatically assumed that I meant they weren’t good looking enough and ripped me a new one.

How they arrived at that conclusion I have no idea.

The thing I want to point out here is that you don’t need to be Brad Pitt to get your ex girlfriend back. I was walking around the mall the other day and I happened to see one of the most beautiful women there walking with a total dork.

I mean, this guy was overweight, balding and he was not a very good looking dude. Yet here he was holding hands with the most beautiful girl at the mall.

So, what is going on here?

Could it be that he is totally loaded and she is just some gold digger?

Well, it is possible but there is an even better explanation than that.

I want you to take a good hard look at all of the alpha male qualities on this page. While some of the qualities are certainly more important than others to women no one quality will be enough to win back your ex girlfriend.

So, lets turn our attention back to Mr. Bald Fat Guy and his beautiful girlfriend.

This girl was willing to go out with him because his other qualities (whether it be wealth, comfortability or height) were all high enough to trump his looks quality. So, when the woman was deciding whether or not to date him she weighed all of these qualities and made her decision.

Your action item during the no contact rule when it comes to looks is to not get enamored with them. Realize that if you don’t feel you are good looking your other qualities can make up for it. Trust me on this.

NC Alpha Quality- Your Overall Health

Do you watch the UFC?

Out of all the sports I have ever watched in my life I think that mixed martial arts has to be the most physically demanding.

Sure, football is demanding (and dangerous.) Tennis (which I am very fond of) can be a grind but there is something that UFC has over all of those sports.

It is very rare to find an athlete in the UFC that is out of shape. Though trust me they exist (see Roy Nelson.)

I want you to get in the best shape of your life.

Seriously, I don’t care if you think you are already in good shape.


Not only will your physical appearance improve but working out will do something else incredible for you.

There are going to be a lot of moments during the no contact rule where you are going to struggle. Sure, you can make it one day without contacting her but can you make it 21-30 days?

There will be some days that you are going to wake up and your whole body will hunger to call her. So, instead of being a loser and breaking NC what you can do is use your UFC type of workout as an outlet to let your stress out.

Essentially you will kill two birds with one stone. You can improve your health and resist your urges to talk to your ex at the same time.

Looks like a win/win to me!

NC Alpha Quality- Grooming

Yes, I am going to give you advice on shaving.

I know it sounds so ridiculous for a guy to be telling a bunch of other guys how they have to look but it’s happening so deal with it.

A few months ago I got curious about whether or not women like beards.

So, what did I do?

Well, I asked ten of my “girl” friends which of the following looks they preferred.

Clean Shaven- This is basically a guy who has no beard at all. He is clean shaven… I really don’t know how else to put it other than that.

Some Stubble- This is a guy who has a little bit of a beard coming in but not a full blown beard just a little bit of stubble.

Bearded- I don’t have to explain this one do I? This is a guy with a beard.

When I asked my ten “girl” friends which one of these looks they preferred the results were actually pretty interesting.

Six women chose the “clean shaven” look.

What was their reasoning?

Simple, a guy who is clean shaven obviously knows how to take care of himself. Even if he doesn’t really take care of himself a clean shaven man appears like he is.

Which way did the other votes go?

Well, the other four women voted for the “some stubble” look.

Two main points here.

Firstly, NO ONE voted for a full bearded man. Did you get that? NOT ONE WOMAN I asked said that they preferred a man with a beard.

That means if you are planning on coming out with a bearded look after your no contact period that would be a bad idea.

Secondly, when I asked the women to expand on why they chose the “stubble” look one thing became clear. Not every guy out there can pull this look off.

However, if a guy can he should definitely rock it!

What does any of this have to do with getting your ex girlfriend back?

The big takeaway that I want you to get from this is that you have to look like you take care of yourself. The second that you stop looking that way is the second you appear less attractive than you really can be.

What I want for you is that when you finally do see your ex girlfriend in person I want her to be blown away by how good you look. I want her to seriously think to herself “maybe I made a mistake.”

NC Alpha Quality- Comfortability

I want you to get comfortable talking to people.

Have you ever noticed that whenever you talk to someone one on one (usually a girl) the two of you can have trouble looking each other in the eye?

What usually happens is you start a conversation with a girl and you take these quick glances at each other throughout the conversation.

I don’t want that happening. What I want happening is that when you start a conversation with a person and that person looks into your eyes THEY have to be the first one to look away.

I want you to be that confident in yourself that you can do that.

I really want you to be considered an alpha male by everyone who you come in contact with. Do you want to know how you can do that?

With practice of course!

From now on whenever you talk to someone (ESPECIALLY other women) I want you to make it your goal to make them completely comfortable.

If you can get a girl to be comfortable with you then you have done a very impressive thing because 90% of men out there are idiots who can’t do it.

This begs the question.

How do you make a woman comfortable?

Well, that can actually be a complicated question and quite frankly I don’t have the time or patience to explain it to you so let me just give you the most important aspect of comfortability.

Whenever you are talking to a woman imagine me standing right next to you. Every time you think about any of the following:

  • Having sex with the woman.
  • How pretty she is.
  • Looking at her t*ts
  • Or thinking about anything else remotely physical on her body.

Just imagine me slapping you really hard upside the head.

Look, you want to know the key to women.


Seriously, when a woman talks to you, you need to listen to what she says. Then once you have listened to what she has told you I want you to UNDERSTAND what she has told you. Oh, and I am not talking about that fake understanding stuff where you really didn’t listen but you just nodded your head every once in a while. I seriously want you to listen and understand what she said to you.

After you have done those things you are allowed to give her a response.

If you do those things trust me a woman will get comfortable talking to you.

This brings me to my next point.

NC Alpha Quality- Going Out On Dates

The best way to get comfortable talking to girl is to go out on dates with them.

Now, I get that the only reason you came to my website is because you want your ex girlfriend back. Trust me I get it but you know what. Right now you are single and rather than sitting around the house and moping around I want you to take the opposite approach.

Did you know that 9 out of 10 Facebook users check up on their exes after a breakup.

That means there is a pretty good chance that your ex girlfriend will be checking up on you.

I have a vision for you.

I have this vision that one day your ex runs into you at a coffee shop. You give her a charming smile and wave at her. She gives you a smile back and waves at you and then you do the inevitable, you talk.

The talk isn’t anything special but she begins to notice a few things. First, you are really fit now. When you were with her you weren’t exactly anything to write home about. But it was really the confidence and pleasant way of talking with her that she really took note of.

In fact, after your little talk she decided to check up on you on Facebook.

To her horror she was greeted with pictures of some other girl and you on a date. Ahh… now the jealousy is really flowing and she is beginning to revisit those feelings of wanting you back.

Going out on a date with other people can do three things for you.

Firstly, it is going to give you confidence and the ability to practice making a woman comfortable enough to talk to you.

Secondly, it might spark a little jealousy on her end.

I deal with a lot of women every day over at Ex Boyfriend Recovery. Let me tell you that the most jealous women I have seen are the ones who spy on their ex boyfriend going out on dates.

Jealousy can be a bad thing but I think in this case, if you go on a HARMLESS date, it can be a good thing.

Finally, breakups really hurt and going on a date with someone new will prove to you that you are well liked with women.

Sometimes it is just nice to get noticed by other women and that date can be that for you.

Now, I do want to mention that I don’t recommend you lead on anyone you take on a date. If your heart is with your ex girlfriend don’t be an idiot and get involved with someone new. Not only are you going to hurt your ex girlfriend by moving on so fast but you are going to hurt the new girl you date because your heart really isn’t with her.

What To Do After The No Contact Rule

(If you want a step by step method that will teach you to get your ex girlfriend back read Ex Girlfriend Recovery PRO.)

I wait

Ah, now the fun really starts to begin.

So far we have gone over what women find attractive and what you need to be doing during the no contact rule. In this section we are going to be talking about everything that goes on after the no contact period.

In other words, this would be the part where you actually attempt to get your girlfriend back. However, before I can start getting into specific steps I feel it is important to lay out the “big picture game plan” for you first.

Don’t worry, we will get into the smaller stuff like what to text her or what to say on the phone but before we do that you need to understand the broader picture.

The Big Picture Game Plan


I can help you get your ex girlfriend back probably better than anyone out there. Sure, that may be a little arrogant of me to say but I prefer to see it as confidence.

Here is the deal though. I don’t want to help jerks. Women have enough problems with men in the world and I have no intention of adding on to them.

So, if you are only here so you can get laid or to do a quick one night stand with your ex then I am here to tell you to get off of my site.

I am writing this to help the MEN out there, not little boys who think they can take advantage of women.

The following method I am about to outline for you will be guaranteed to drastically improve your chances of getting your ex back. I can’t guarantee it will work 100% of the time but this is by far the most effective method I have ever seen and you are about to get it for free!

A few things to note before I start getting into this.

This game plan is meant to be a long term game plan. In other words, the only men I want reading this are the ones that are very serious about establishing a long lasting relationship with their ex if they can get them back.

Ok, now that we have that out of the way lets look at big picture game plan that you have to implement to get your ex girlfriend back.

Step 1: Texting

(See The Texting Bible.)

After your no contact period is up why do you think you text your ex girlfriend as opposed to calling her?

Well, texting is usually viewed as non-threatening and it will also give you one distinct advantage that you won’t have when you call her, the ability to THINK!

I am a big fan of texting because you can think through every single word before you hit that “send” button. Of course, the trick when it comes to texting is getting her to respond but more on that later.

Step 2: Re-attract During Texting

If you do everything right you should be able to get to a place where you and your ex girlfriend will text more frequently.

I like to call this the “re-attraction” phase when it comes to texting. Essentially what you are doing here is rebuilding the broken connection with her.

As you can probably already tell we are slowly baby stepping our way to a phone call and hopefully a date.

Step 3: Phone Calls

Your ex girlfriend will respond to escalation and as you can see we are slowly rebuilding it here. The texting rebuilt some attraction but now it is time to use the phone to really kick things up a notch.

Obviously the next step in this process is to Segway from your texts into talking on the phone.

However, there is a specific way that I want you to do it (to kind of maximize your chances.) Of course, I will get into how to do that a little later. For now, lets just stick to advancing our big picture game plan.

Step 4: Re-attract During Phone Calls

Are you kind of seeing where I am going with this?

If you can get a woman to stay on the phone for you for over an hour then you have done something really impressive.

Your goal here is to rebuild your connection even more. In fact, you want to rebuild it so much that seeing each other in person is inevitable.

Oh, and it just so happens that a date is the next part of this process.

Step 5- Getting The Date

This is really your time to shine.

Once you get the date it is all up to you to really make her feel for you. By the time the date ends if she is left with this feeling of happiness and excitement then you really did your job and you are well on your way to getting her back.

What You Need To Know About Texting


In this section I am going to teach you a lot of what you nee dto know to text your ex girlfriend. However, I go into much more detail in my book, The Texting Bible.

Lets take a look at the big picture here for a moment.

You have just finished your no contact rule. You have read the big picture game plan so you know what you need to do. Well, this section is all about HOW you are going to implement that game plan.

What was step 1 in the BPG (big picture game plan?)

It was texting.

Now, before I can give you examples of specific text messages to use we have to go over a few of the rules.

The “Rules” Of Texting


When you date someone you are pretty much given a free pass to break all of the texting laws that I will outline here.

However, since we already know that you are no longer dating your ex there are certain rules that you have to abide by.

I would like to take a look at a few of those rules right now.

Rule 1- Don’t Be THAT Guy

Women talk..

They talk more than you can imagine about everything you can possibly think of.

About 3 years ago I got invited to tag along on a lunch date after a college class with three women. When we arrived at the restaurant the conversation that I witnessed was very eye opening.

Specifically, one of the women had a man who was texting her desperately. Sometimes he would send 4-5 texts back to back if he didn’t get a response.

The women just laughed at him and how pathetic he was (he kind of was.)

I don’t want that fate for you. I don’t want your ex girlfriend to show her closest friends your pathetic texts that:

  • Beg for her back.
  • Showing them a string of 8 texts back to back.
  • Showing them texts where you get too emotional too soon and say something really dumb.

Please, don’t be THAT guy.

Rule 2- Be Aware Of Word Count (On Both Sides)

Ok, imagine that you are texting your girl.

You text her a 20 word text message and she responds with a 2 word text message. Throughout your conversation (through text) this trend continues.

Now, lets try another example.

Imagine you are texting her and you send your 20 word text message but she responds with a 15 word text message and that trend pretty much continues throughout your conversation.

Which do you think is better?

A 2 word response from her suggests that she isn’t as interested in what you are saying as opposed to a 15 word response.

It is important to be aware of the word count of both of your text messages. Ideally, you are shooting for a word count that is close on both your end and hers.

Understanding The Four Different Outcomes

4 panel memes

This is pretty much common sense.

However, sometimes common sense eludes men when they get emotional.

There are four different outcomes when it comes to text messaging. In order to get your ex girlfriend back I want you to understand each of these outcomes and what they mean. Lets look at them for a moment.

Outcome 1- A Positive Response

When you text your ex girlfriend getting a positive response from her is essential.

So, what is a positive response?

(For more example text messages I suggest you check out my Texting Bible.)

Any type or response that can make you feel good is a positive response. Take a look at the example above.

The question that this particular person asked was,

“Hey, how are you doing?”

The response to that was very positive as you can see. Ultimately, getting happy responses like these when you text your ex girlfriend is the goal.

Lets move on and take a look at the next type of response.

Outcome 2- A Neutral Response

Have you ever been texting a girl and things are going great. You are invested in the conversation and she is invested in the conversation.

It’s almost like you can do nothing wrong. You keep getting positive response after positive response and then all of a sudden you are met with a neutral response like this:

neutral response

(See The Texting Bible for more example texts.)

A neutral response is basically the type of response where someone responds to you but they don’t seem very invested in the conversation anymore.

What is going on here?

Are they just getting bored talking to you?

Most men freak out when they text a girl and all of a sudden get a neutral response. However, the truth is that it is impossible to get a positive response every single time you text someone. Every once in a while a neutral response is going to find it’s way into the conversation.

Women can do this for any number of reasons.

Maybe they are just really busy and didn’t have the time to compose a well thought out response. Maybe they sensed YOU were starting to get neutral and returned the favor.

However, in my opinion most women send neutral text messages as a way to test you to see just how much you like them.

Here is what they are thinking in their minds:

“I wonder just how much he values me? I think I am just going to send a really short text to see if he will respond.”

Most guys make the mistake of seeing a short text from a girl and automatically assuming that she isn’t interested. While that may be the case (as I am about to explain) it could also be that she is using it as a way to test you to see just how interested you are in her.

Now, what do I mean when I say that sometimes short neutral text messages can be a sign that she isn’t interested in you.

If every single text message you send is greeted with a neutral response that is probably not a good sign. It probably means that she is just too nice to not respond to you.

Outcome 3- A Negative Response

Everyone is scared of a negative response when it comes to text messaging. Especially the men trying to get their exes back.

All the experts advise you to handle texting situations with kid gloves to avoid these kind of responses:

negative response

Ok, most of the time a negative response is illicited by something you have done in the past. Since we are dealing with ex girlfriends here you are going to be much more prone to this type of a response.

But how are you supposed to deal with a negative response?

Most men are idiots and they fall into the trap of starting an argument with a girl. To me, if you handle negative responses with dignity and class you come out so much better in the end.

So, if you get a negative response I just want you to repeat this in your head over and over:

“I will be as classy as I possibly can to her.”

Don’t start an argument.

Don’t get overly upset at the things she said to you.

Don’t let it affect you to the point where you can’t focus the entire day. Just text her very calmly and be as classy as you possibly can.

Outcome 4- No Response

I don’t really need to explain this one to you do I?

Essentially, what happens with this one is you send a text and there is no response to it.

I guess the question on the table here though is what does it mean when she ignores you?

Since we are dealing with ex girlfriends here I am going to assume that you are wondering what your ex is thinking rather than the general population of girls because trust me there is a difference between an ex ignoring you and just some girl you are “talking” to.

Why is there a difference?

At one point you convinced this girl to date you. That means for a certain segment of time in her life she probably obsessed about you every single day. This means that she formed an emotional attachment to you and she does care about what you think.

Usually when an ex girlfriend ignores you it means that she is upset with you over something.

So, does this mean you pry and fix the problem immediately?


Most men fall into this trap.

Here is what you should do. If she is ignoring you accept that she is upset with you. However, also accept the fact that somewhere deep down in her mind she kind of wants you to “fight for her forgiveness.”

You don’t want to do this right away.

Eventually you do want to fight for her forgiveness but you want her to respond to you right?

The better approach is to leave her alone for a few days. It will be tough but if you do it she will probably be left thinking to herself:

“OMG… he is not going to fight for me 🙁 .”

Why do you want her to think this?

Well, because when you do fight for her she is going to be overcome with some serious positive emotions and those emotions will cause her to respond to your texts.

How To Build Attraction When You Text Your Ex Girlfriend


Now that you kind of know the rules behind texting lets talk about what you need to do to build attraction.

When you look to build attraction with a girl when it comes to texting you can’t immediately come out of the gates and send some super emotional text message. I mean, I suppose you could but don’t expect to get your ex back with that strategy.

Women love to be romanced and romancing a woman the proper way takes time, effort and a bit of strategy.

I am going to go over exactly how you can properly “romance” your ex girlfriend after the no contact period.

First things first though, what do you think your ultimate goal is when it comes to text messaging?

I want you to take things slow and only aim to get on the phone with your ex girlfriend. In other words, your main goal here is not to get a date but rather to just simply talk on the phone with your ex.

Remember how the progression goes:

Texting/Attraction = Phone/Attraction = Date/Attraction.

The First Text Message After No Contact

How do you think you are supposed to approach the first text message after the no contact period has concluded?

Most men make the mistake of “going for it all” right off the bat. That is a HUGE mistake. Remember, this entire process isn’t meant to be completed over the course of a day but rather the course of weeks or months.

The same can be applied to the first text message you send after the no contact period. Rather than going for it all I would actually recommend that you make the entire interaction very brief and end the conversation first.

Here is a textbook example taken from my book, The Texting Bible:

First text message

There are a few things that I want you to take note of.

Firstly, I want you to notice how the initial start of the text, the “I saw “Psych” and thought of you” was very interesting. Your goal here is to come up with a text message that is so interesting that it will be impossible for her to not respond to it.

Secondly, check out how quickly the conversation ended. The person sent the initial text, got a positive response and then ended the entire conversation with a “I’ll text you later.”

The theory behind this is that you want to prime the girl for another text message. By saying “I’ll text you later” she will be constantly checking her phone thinking to herself,

“When is he going to text me?”

That’s a good question actually. When do you text her next?

Wait a minimum of 24 hours and a maximum of 48 hours before you get back to her. I know waiting sucks but you want her to be really excited to hear from you again.

Diving Into General Memories

When it comes to attracting an ex girlfriend through text messaging there are really only two memories that matter.

1. General Memories
2. Emotional Memories

Obviously this section is going to be focusing on the general memories that you can use in your favor to get your ex girlfriend back.

I have a question for you though. Why do you think I chose to talk about general memories as opposed to emotional memories first?

In my experience it is best to slowly prime a girl to talk about emotional stuff.

I want you to imagine something for a moment.

You and your ex girlfriend are texting. However, instead of following any of my advice you come right out and start getting down to the “emotional” stuff. This causes a snowball effect that eventually leads to a fight and you are right back at square one.

Now, this negative outcome could have been avoided if you had primed or tested to see if your ex was ready to dive into more emotional things.

The key is to use POSITIVE memories that the two of you had together that aren’t very emotional.

Good examples include:

  • A fun hike that the two of you had together.
  • An inside joke that only the two of you would understand.
  • A movie you saw together.
  • You get the idea 😉 .

Here is a good example using hiking.

hiking example

The idea here is to use the positive memory of the hike to sort of get her to associate those positive feelings she gets when she thinks about it with you.

Now, I have talked a lot about priming or “testing” in this section.

Let’s say that hypothetically you pull off the general memory text and get a lot of positive responses. Well, the positive responses are an indicator that she is primed to jump into more emotional stuff right?


Remember, this process is very delicate and one misstep can screw everything up entirely. The smarter play would be to end the conversation on a high note and get to the emotional stuff another day.

Diving Into Old EMOTIONAL Memories

Emotional memories are really where you are going to make most of the headway on getting your ex girlfriend back.

Women are emotional creatures.

A few years ago I met this girl who I really liked. At the time, I considered her to be the most intelligent woman I had ever met before and at the time (she isn’t anymore) she definitely was.

The entire time I talked to her she kept telling me how she wasn’t emotional at all and how she always based her decisions on logic and like an idiot I took the bait.

Seriously, I remember thinking to myself:

“I believe her.”

Never in my life have I met a more emotional girl than this one. The funniest part was that when I called her out on it she went into denial. This girl was super emotional and she was in total denial about it.

The morale of the story is this.

99% of women make major relationship decisions based on their emotions. So, it only makes sense that one of the best ways to get your ex girlfriend back will be to tap into her emotions and you are going to do this three ways.

The first way is going to be right here through text. The next way is going to be over the phone (which I will talk about in a minute) and the last way is obviously going to be in person.

But first things first, how do you tap into emotional memories over text messages?

I want you to think back to your relationship with your ex. I am assuming that the two of you had some highly POSITIVE emotional moments.

Oh, and I am not talking about anything sexual.

Yes, sex is a HUGE part of a relationship but how do you think it’s going to go over with your ex if she thinks you just want to become friends with benefits with her?

The answer is not well.

Rather, I want you to think back to every conversation that you have ever had with her. Now, girls are talkative so chances are high she would have let you known when you did something that meant A LOT to her.

I will give you a personal example.

An ex girlfriend of mine always used to tell me how much she appreciated me sending her a sweet text in the morning.

Since I know for a fact that is an “emotional” high point for her I would probably say something like this in a text message:

emotional message

(Check out more examples of texts with The Texting Bible)

Now, obviously you have to come up with your own emotional text to send. However, once you do make sure you commit to it.

Too many guys wuss out on opening up to girls and it’s a shame because often times the greatest rewards comes from doing the things that scare us the most.

Transitioning From Text Messages To Phone Calls

There are many different ways to transition from texting to a phone call.

There is obviously the “I don’t care I am just going to call instead of text” method. This is basically where instead of texting a girl one day you just decide to call her up.

However, I am not a fan of this method for a few reasons.

For one, if you call her when she isn’t “ready” to talk to you it can kind of hurt your ego to not have her pick up. Secondly, what if she is in the middle of a class or meeting? I would rather you not put that kind of unnecessary pressure on her.

Instead, I am going to teach you the PERFECT way to transition from a text to a phone call so listen up.

The way this works is simple.

Lets pretend that the two of you are texting each other and you are having a really good conversation together.

You are responding to her and she is responding to you. Somewhere in the middle of this interaction you find yourself thinking that the two of you are talking a lot.

This is good.

When this happens it is time to transition into a phone call like this:

transition message

Now, obviously you are going to have to figure out an interesting little anecdote to share with her but that is easy and it doesn’t have to be anything big.

The Rules For Talking On The Phone


It doesn’t take a genius to realize that talking on the phone is very different than texting.

In this section I would like to make you aware of a few of the guidelines that you should follow when you do finally take that step to talking on the phone with your ex girlfriend.

I think the best way to start this off is by talking about something I feel a lot of men fail to realize about women on the phone.

What To Say On The Phone


Women will always have men beat in one area when it comes to communication.

That area would be in listening.

You see, most men fail to realize that women are listening VERY CLOSELY to every little thing that they say on the phone.

So, when you do get on the phone make sure you make that time count.

I guess the question on the table now is:

“How do you make the most of your time on the phone?”

It is a good question and that is what I plan on talking about here.

The Awkward Silences

Every time you talk on the phone with someone you really like there are going to be awkward silences where neither person can think of something to say.

Usually, this is when your mind starts racing to fill those gaps in with words.

Now, too much awkward silence is never a good thing because nothing can get done if no one is saying anything so this section is all about how to deal with the awkward silence.

The smartest thing you can do is to come up with a list of things to talk about so you always have something to say to fill in the gaps.

I am not saying you have to write down the entire conversation you plan on having on a piece of paper but I am saying to write down a few things on a “cheat sheet” so you can glance over a list of ideas to talk about when the awkward silences set in.

For example, lets pretend that you and your ex girlfriend start talking on the phone and you encounter an awkward silence. Rather than sitting for a minute wracking your brain for something to talk about you could glance at your cheat sheet and know immediately.

The Idea Of Leaving A Conversation At It’s High Point

Without a doubt the hardest thing to do when it comes to talking on the phone is ending a conversation when you are really enjoying it.

When I am falling for a girl I can talk on the phone for hours with her. Maybe I glance at the clock and see that I have something else to do in about 30 minutes and internally I tell myself:

“Ok, in 30 minutes I am going to end this conversation.”

However, 30 minutes later I find myself saying:

“Ok, just 10 more minutes.”

I liken it to hitting the snooze button on your alarm clock in the morning. Pretty soon, you look up and see an hour or two has passed and you don’t know where the time went as you were just enjoying the company of someone else.

While it is an amazing feeling to get caught up in the moment it can also make saying goodbye extremely difficult.

Most people will tell you that the “snooze button” example I gave above is a very good thing when it comes to building or in your case rebuilding a relationship.

I mostly agree with those people.

However, we are in this for the long game right?

Well, one of the negatives of carrying on a conversation for that amount of time is that you don’t leave a person wanting more. Sure, if the conversation was amazing they may call back the next day. However, what if I told you that there was a surefire way to leave your ex girlfriend wanting more.

Imagine this for a moment.

You are talking to your ex on the phone and the conversation is going great. Awkward silences are left to a minimum and you can tell she is very responsive. Maybe the two of you talked about something that was funny or emotional and both of you reacted very well to it.

Well, rather than trust your heart which will tell you:


Trust your brain and end the conversation prematurely in a very nice way. This will do a few things.

Firstly, you will be on her mind for the rest of the day GUARANTEED!

Secondly, you will leave her wanting more and that feeling will cause her to text you, call you and even raise your chances of seeing her in person.

Seeing Her In Person

(Check out my book, Ex Girlfriend Recovery PRO to learn how to get your ex girlfriend back.)

see you

The main purpose of everything on this page is to help improve your chances of getting your ex girlfriend back.

Obviously you can’t get her back if you aren’t able to see her in person. So, getting to see your ex in person on a REAL date is essential to this process.

I would like to take a moment and talk about how you can accomplish that.

Getting A Date With Your Ex

Getting a date with your ex is all about building up positive “points.”

What do you think I mean by that?

Women often have this internal tally of points in their head when they are determining whether or not to go on a date with a guy. Now, most women aren’t even aware of this because it all happens so fast in their own minds.

For example, lets say that a random girl meets a guy at a bar. She immediately sizes up the following:

He is good looking = +1 Positive Point
He has a good job = +1 Positive Point
He can make her laugh = +1 Positive Point
His personality is great = +1 Positive Point

The point is that if you build up enough of these positive points (and avoid the negative ones) you should be able to get a date.

There is just one problem. What are you supposed to do if she has already “sized” your positive points up?

Well, there is good news and there is bad news.

The bad news is that no matter what a breakup is going to hurt your chances of going on a date again. Usually bad things are said during a breakup that can hurt any “positive points” you may have build up for a date.

The good news is that it is entirely possible to re-build those points.

You can do this through building positive rapport with her through text messages or on the phone. While you are building that rapport you want to do your best to remind her what she loved about you in the first place without actively reminding her (if that makes any sense.)

If you do a good job of building up those points again getting a date should be simple.

Tips For When You Are On The Date

12,840 words…

Up until this point this “guide” has been over twelve thousand words. I am telling you that because I could literally write a guide of the same length to cover EVERYTHING you will need to know about going on a date but I don’t really have the time or patience to do that (though maybe one day soon I will.)

Anyways, what I plan on doing is giving you the one BIG tip that can really go a long ways when it comes to your ex girlfriend.

It just so happens that this tip is really easy to understand but hard to put in action.


Seriously, all I want you to do is really focus on listening during your date with your ex. It’s such a simple concept isn’t it?

And yet, time after time men find it so hard to put into action.

Hey, I get it. There have been times where I have been on dates where I literally couldn’t think anything other than:

“Whoa…. look how pretty her eyes are!”

But a date is not a time for you to stop and stare. If you do your job right then you can have plenty of time for that later. A date is all about listening and understanding exactly what your ex is telling you.

If you do that then you will have a fighting chance.

Good luck!


Written by EGR team mate

Chris Seiter

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3044 Comments on "How To Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back"

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So my ex pretty much skipped all these phases and asked to meet up after like texting her back after a month of NC(2 since the breakup) I haven’t been able to re attract her at all. And I sort of played it cool and said we could work something out even though I’ve been busy. Should I keep texting her or just wait until the meetup?

Hi there, so I went through NC, she contacted me a couple of times (missed me, had to let go of us), nothing about reconciliation so I responded with short very nice responses. I have worked on myself, I have lost 5 kgs, gone on some dates, I put up stuff on social media about positivity, I meditate everyday, I feel so much more confident. So after 34 days I sent the elephant in the room text, I apologised for my role, I was vulnerable and I said how I’m improving myself. I got no response. So one week later… Read more »
Hi, I am considering working with the Ex-Girlfriend PRO program but am not sure if it will actually help me given my situation. My girlfriend broke up with me after a month of back-and-forth where I was “trying to figure myself out” but instead was doing hurtful things to her and lying about them (no cheating). We’d been together a little over six months and things had been serious. We had many talks about marriage and kids and things got rocky when I felt my insecurities and immaturity whisper in my ear that she was taking freedoms away from me.… Read more »
Hey Guys ! great stuff here 😀 but im in a but of a pickle … basically im all confused about how my ex is acting … long story short , I did NC .. texted and all that stuff … asked her to meet and she said yes , we had a good meeting and had fun … couple of days later i asked her for another meeting and she agreed again (we are setting a date) … I am confused because through all of this she seems very responsive to me however a bit distant and short worded… Read more »
I am gonna tell you my situation. We had been dating for 3 years since we were 19 years old (me) and 16. We were really in love and was our first love of course. During the second year, she left me because I was taking her too much for granted and didn’t give her attention. After that there was an improve and went back together in a week (so it is not a true break-up) and went together since this october when my grandmother died. I started to close myself social and emotionally and she asked me for changes… Read more »
I have a huge problem, my girlfriend [ broke up with me for not choosing between her and my girl best friend of 5 years. Now here’s where I fucked up, in the beginning of our relationship when I told her about the existence of that female friend of mine we fought because of it and since I was (and kind of still am) a weak stupid guy and since I really didn’t want to lose her (Heck i think i was already in love with her at that point) I started hiding our VERY NORMAL conversations after that fight… Read more »
My instagram account is public and always has been. The fact that she unfollowed me, doesn’t that mean something? Like she’s over me and just doesn’t want to see what I’m up to and doesn’t want my posts coming up on her instagram feed? I noticed her cousin unfollowed me as well. I’ve lost all hope of getting my one and only back and I’m in such a dark place right now and have been for the past 2 months since the breakup. I’ve tried working on myself and working on my passions. I achieved so much with her love… Read more »
Hi, me and my gf broke up just over a week ago. A lot has happened in between that. First, I begged since i was in pure panic. I told her I was sorry and did not text her after. Meanwhile I made a letter and sent it to her with like apologies and a question if she wanted to meet me sometime to talk about eveyrthing. I heared from her friend she received it thursday and I did ask about it. But, then when I was out in town on the staurday I ran in to her accidentally. Because… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
EGR Team Member: Amor

HI Bas,

did you mean you texted your ex that was before her about her? If yes, stop doing that. Don’t talk to her friends about getting her back too.. Start the 30 days nc rule.. Be active in improving yourself and in posting and if you ever bump into common friends, don’t talk about her.. if they start it, be indifferent.. play it casually.


Oh yeah and the reason we broke up was just that I wasn’t interesting and became needy and insecure day after day. Only if I knew then..

EGR Team Member: Amor
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Ted,

how active and how much are you improving yourself?

Well, i had a hard time with the break up and thought that she did me wrong. So I just focused on my school work at first. So basically whenever my ex saw me I was studying. Then as time passed I realized that I was the problem for I wanted her all by myself and kept trying to make our relationship deep. I am 100% sure that it turned her off. So recently I refreshed my mind and worked on my confidence. Now I feel great and I know this time I can do better with anyone. I just… Read more »

And how active? Well, at school i was always quite and I dont do SNS. So.. I’m probably not that active

EGR Team Member: Amor
EGR Team Member: Amor

sorry, I meant how active are you in posting in social media? Because your posts are your indirect way of showing your other activites and fun times and improvements.


I don’t do social media. I used to, but I quit it. To be honest I don’t want to do it again.


Hi, i had my first girfriend. We go to the same school, so we basically see each other everyday. We broke up after a 3month relationship.

I contact her once after the break up asking if she liked things better now, and she did not response.

After we kept ignoring each other at school(haven’t talked and just hide) and she didnt really seem like she missed me.

I guess my 30days of no contact is over, but i’m not sure if sending her a text is a good idea.


She just unfollowed me on instagram, so how is she meant to see what I’m up to with my stories etc.? What’s the point of posting so much if she can’t see them?
I’ve lost her forever. She’s going overseas with her cousins soon. If she hasn’t met anyone already, I’m sure she’s will when she’s overseas. I no longer have any hope of her wanting me back. 🙁 this really hurts

EGR Team Member: Amor
EGR Team Member: Amor

don’t do the stories.. do posts that just stays there unless you remove them.. that means you have to make your account public.

I am so glad I found your website. I have been very guilty of begging and pleading after a breakup. This site has given me encouragement to avoid doing that ever again. My ex gf just ended it a week ago saying that she was forcing her feelings for me. I don’t really buy that. She broke it off over text and I played it cool (mostly). Then two days later I texted her and challenged her to tell me in person, to my face that it’s over. I told her I would be at certain place for a certain… Read more »
So my ex dumped me a week ago. Before she dumped me she told me she liked another guy, she has something she wanted me to have. So basically her new BF is her expected version of me. After we broke up we still maintained a friendship for a few days, but because I have been so emotional towards her when she smiled at something(next text from her new BF thats what she said). She has stopped contacting and replying and blocked me since 5 days ago, she said because of her new bf dont want her to contact me.… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Albert,

what if she doesn’t want you to know because she’s afraid you would contact her bf and cause a problem? And if she doesn’t, that means she’s just making it up for you to stop chasing her.. Do at least 30 days of nc.


So what is she really has a new BF, how many days of NC do I need?

EGR Team Member: Amor
EGR Team Member: Amor

you can try the advice on this one if you want:
My Ex Girlfriend Dumped Me For Another Guy…

So my ex dumped me a week ago. Before she dumped me she told me she liked another guy, she has something she wanted me to have. So basically her new BF is a her expected version of me. After we broke up we still maintained a friendship for a few days, but because I have been so emotional towards her when she smiled at something(next text from her new BF thats what she said). She has stopped contacting and replying and blocked me since 5 days ago, she said because of her new bf dont want her to contact… Read more »

How many days of no contact should I make this time, or should I still at least send her one bible reading everyday with my person reflection? Do you think she really has a new BF? The fact is she is so introvert, cannot talk or face to anyone properly, light depression, and no friends.


I accidentally sent my ex girlfriend a heart on instagram messenger. It’s right on the text part and I was just going through messages and accidentally pressed it with my fat finger. What do I do? I accidentally broke the NC period ???? I’m so frustrated and stressed out about it! Do I apologise and say sorry it was a mistake or just leave it or reset the 45 days now? It’s been 19 days so far. FML. Why did instagram put a heart where it’s so easily pressed??

EGR Team Member: Amor
EGR Team Member: Amor

I’m saying approach it like she has moved on.You don’t have to say anything just restart nc, just go back on your messages, so that it doesn’t happen again.


I accidentally sent my ex girlfriend a heart on instagram messenger. It’s right on the text part and I was just going through messages and accidentally pressed it with my fat finger. What do I do? I accidentally broke the NC period ???? I’m so frustrated and stressed out about it! Do I apologise and say sorry it was a mistake or just leave it or reset the 45 days now? It’s been 19 days so far. FML. Why did instagram put a heart where it’s so easily pressed?

Hey, So my situation in a nutshell. We were together for a bit more than a year. Everything was fine, we were both in love. Then at some point she had some changes in her life and started “feeling low”. We started meeting less and her otherwise high libido basically disappeared. She assured me she’s felt like this before, and it passed in two weeks. This time it didn’t. It went on for almost 3 months when finally she suggested a “short break”, so she’s at least not stressed out by not being able to be there as a girlfriend.… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi John,

do at least 45 days, take it as restart. Accept that she has moved on so, that after nc you’re goal is to make her fall for you again slowly. Be active in improving yourself and in posting in social media during and after nc.


Thanks! I will do exactly that! I have been actively improving myself since day 1 of NC (actually even before) as advised in the guide. 🙂

Last week I reached day 53 of NC and it was her birthday. So I finished NC by sending her a happy birthday text. She replied with a thank you. Naturally neither of us continued the conversation. I have since learned that she was already dating a month after she told me she needs a short break ’cause she’s feeling down. A friend of hers was complaining to me about my ex that even now she cancelled their meeting in the last minute because of a date. Not sure how serious it is with the latest guy, but my jealousy… Read more »


I have some questions about the no contact rule: In case she sends a text ” how are you doing?” Do I need to ignore this completely?
I think she will get angry and won’t react on my text (when the 30-45 days NC will finnish).

2 weeks ago I celebrated my Birthday. I received a very long text from her and my reaction on this text was 5 days later (because it didn’t feel right to answer…). So the NC -period start from my last reaction I think?

Ps; The break up was on the 20th of January.

What do you think?

EGR Team Member: Amor
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Jans,

Yes you have to ignore it. You even ignored her greeting, by now she will understand that you’re not going to reply. Be active in improving yourself and in posting. Yes, the first day of nc starts a day after you last initiated and replied.


I have a question about the no contact rule: in case she sends me a text “how are you doing”, than i need to ignore this? She will be angry I think if I do this? Maybe she will ignore my text if I send her a text when the 30-45 days nc is finnished?

What do you think? 🙂

Good day, My gorlfriend broke up with me laast week but i realy love this girl with everything if got. She made the dissision prair tje breakup that she needs space and befor n knew it she ended things! Pledded for us to fight for each other but to know prevail. Befor the she asked for space and the breakup i hacked her Facebook account. She then stated she does not trust me no more as i broke her heart. I understand that what i dit was wrong and have apologized to her and she was forgiving related to that.… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
EGR Team Member: Amor

HI Benjanmin,

why did she break up with you?


So you’re saying she has moved on already?
So I have lost her forever then, & there’s no chance of getting her back?

Or has she moved on from the negative memories of me?

I’m sorry if I’m misunderstanding what you’re saying.


So i sent that clean slate text message that you said that I could send and she replied to my text a couple hours later. She said:

” Good to hear. Hope all is well with you too. Good luck with all your future endeavours”.

What does she mean by this? Does this now mean I’ve got no chance now or am I overthinking?

So now do the 45 day no contact?

I’m afraid that I’ve lost her forever. 🙁

EGR Team Member: Amor
EGR Team Member: Amor

Let’s say she has moved on. Then take this as a restart. That means after nc, it would be ok if you start contacting her.


So you’re saying she has moved on already?
So I have lost her forever then, & there’s no chance of getting her back?

Or has she moved on from the negative memories of me?

I’m sorry if I’m misunderstanding what you’re saying.

Hi, thanks for your advice so far. I hope I do have a chance as you suggested if she felt guilty. By any chance would you advise that I send her this text? “Hey! I want to apologise for my behaviour and acting so irrationally over the past month. I was very emotional and not myself. I know that this break up is a good thing in the long run. I want to thank you for all the great times we spent together. I’ve learnt a lot from our relationship, and I’m moving on. I hope that we can still… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
EGR Team Member: Amor

Yup, you can send that as a clean slate text. And yes, do 45 days.. 🙂

Hey everyone.I dated a girl for 18 months and we had break ups in this period cause I was very insecure of her talking to guys.We got back for the 6th time and I was very possessive about her being with some guys. All the 6 times I went back convincing her but she never asked me even once although we both did some mistakes.She told me not to worry and our relationship was going well. Suddenly she breaks up with me and I get to know she started talking to a new guy. I begged pleaded did everything ,… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Faizan,

Stick to nc of at least 30 days and this time, start a new routine in your life that you will maintain after nc while slowly building rapport.

Hey everyone.I dated a girl for 18 months and we had break ups in this period cause I was very insecure of her talking to guys.We got back for the 6th time and I was very possessive about her being with some guys. All the 6 times I went back convincing her but she never asked me even once although we both did some mistakes.She told me not to worry and our relationship was going well. Suddenly she breaks up with me and I get to know she started talking to a new guy. I begged pleaded did everything ,… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Faizan,

Stick to nc of at least 30 days and this time, start a new routine in your life that you will maintain after nc while slowly building rapport.

Hey ! I am a big fan of yours from India. I dated a girl for 18 months and we had break ups in this period. We got back for the 6th time and I was very possessive about her being with some guys. She told me not to worry and our relationship was going well. Suddenly she breaks up with me and I get to know she started talking to a new guy. I begged pleaded did everything then read your articles which taught me value. I did no contact and she was dating that guy at that time… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Faizan,

Stick to nc of at least 30 days and this time, start a new routine in your life that you will maintain after nc while slowly building rapport.

Found my ex on a dating site. So she lied about wanting to be alone for a while. I guess woman do that. I made a huge mistake by confronting her about it, but told her I was ok with it. I gave back a Valentine’s Day gift with a letter to her that she made me with photos of us as well. She said it made her feel guilty. Wasn’t my intention. Told her I was letting her know I’m letting go. So, just do the 45 day no contact like you suggested to me earlier? Also is there… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
EGR Team Member: Amor

Yup do 45 days, and if she felt guilty, then it looks like you have a chance

Steve Adams

I lost my girlfriend dec 28th due to commitment issues I desperately want her back she met someone new jan 5th I did all the wrong things tues 16th I discovered your web page and started to 30 day no contact rule sat 20th her two friends have made contact with me please help me win back the women I love and wish to spend the rest of my life with

EGR Team Member: Amor
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Steve,

what did her friends say to you? How active are you in improving yourself and in posting?

Update: I caught up with my ex girlfriend recently and she told me she doesn’t love me anymore and she was quite clear and her feelings faded a while ago and she was just in the relationship for me, not for her. She doesn’t want me anymore and I’m obviously depressed. This is the girl I wanted to marry. I don’t think any amount of no contact is going to help my situation at all as she said she wants to be alone for a while and is ok with being single the rest of her life. What do I… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
EGR Team Member: Amor

you’re not supposed to add her, just unblock her…she has to think you’re moving on and not chasing


ok,I successfully scaled through the no contact rule,I initiated contact,we where getting along,I texted her three times and on the third I told her “am busy we will take later” she got pissed,what should I do now?

EGR Team Member: Amor
EGR Team Member: Amor

just let her cool down.. and then make the intro in your next text a short, casual explanation.. like,
“got caught up real fast by my boss’ demands! then insert your topic.” and end the next text in a more polite way.


Hi, I need help. Can someone please help me with getting my ex girlfriend back?
I am a member. I just need some perspective with why my girlfriend broke up with me when i did nothing wrong and I’m confused.


EGR Team Member: Amor
EGR Team Member: Amor

HI Captain,

don’t block her.. Just start the nc rule.. be active in improving yourself and in posting and make your posts publi.. focus on that instead of worrying. I think you should do 45 days.. If she doesn’t contact you in it, that’s good because you’re not supposed to reply. You can initiate after nc.

Well, i tried adding her back on Facebook 5 days ago, but she hasn’t accepted. she told a mutual friend that she doesnt want to add me because she doesnt want me to think that there is something still between us. So she wouldnt be able to see any of my posts anyway. So basically she wouldnt be watching my facebook as you guys have suggested that she would. its been 11 days so far and no contact. I’ll continue to 45 days in total then. I’ve already lost all hope as she told that mutual friend of ours that… Read more »
Well I tried adding her back on Facebook about 6 days ago and she hasn’t accepted. She told a mutual friend that she doesn’t want to accept and doesn’t want me to think that there’s still something there between us. Also she said that she was done with the relarionship but kept changing her reasons to the mutual friend. She has also deleted a lot of “couple photos” of us and has changed the description from “my man and my baby” to just nothing. It seems as though she’s trying to erase me out of her life. She also told… Read more »

OK I finished with the no contact rule then I intitated contact,I followed the procedure in texting then she got angry for saying “we would talk later am busy” am kinda confused what should I do now?

Hi, I’m in a bit of a panicky mood at the moment so I apologise in advance for the size of those comment. I’m 29 and my girlfriend of 4 years recently broke up with about a week ago. I’d say it was a strong relationship being there for each other with each others ups and downs. She told me she was no longer in love with me, but loves me, just not in that way anymore, and she told me that she’s only hurting me and herself by staying with me. Needless to say, I was shocked, stunned, blind… Read more »
What can I do when my ex won’t talk to me much? It’s been months and she’s mad at me but she won’t tell me why. We travel in similar circles but she won’t initiate contact or answer questions when I ask why she’s so upset. If something is wrong with me she’ll be there for me in a heartbeat but she will not speak to me unless I speak to her and she will not communicate with me why she’s mad. I do not speak to her all the time or constantly text her but I can’t get a… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
EGR Team Member: Amor

it sounds like she’s avoiding talking to you because she thinks you haven’t moved on… because if she’s angry about something, she would be frustrated about it and then she would confront you.. but it looks like she’s irritated…


So what do I do just move on and forget all about her?

EGR Team Member: Amor
EGR Team Member: Amor

frankly, either you move on or it means you improve to the point that you have your own life and that you genuinely changed in a level that would pique her interest.


After the first message, how do you start off the second conversation you are gonna have with her? Do you go right ahead and send her the general memory?

EGR Team Member: Amor
EGR Team Member: Amor

I also forgot to mention December 4 is when she said it was done for the second time and we have been talking since then ie. me asking her to reconsider what she’s giving up if she really is finished with me and today I decided I needed help to ever get her love back !

EGR Team Member: Amor
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Cowboy,

Do you want to try the no contact rule?


Will that be my best bet I’d like to get her back before someone else takes her away ?

EGR Team Member: Amor
EGR Team Member: Amor

it’s better than chasing and rushing things.. it’s not a guarantee that it will work but it helps increase your chances because you’re going to be focused in improving yourself and starting a new routine in your life that you will maintain after nc while slowly building rapport.. And be active in posting in social media too.

Good day I was dating my ex-girlfriend for about 1.5 years I truely am Inlove with her and we share so much in common love of rodeo , long story short most people I know that knew us have said “wow I can’t belive it you two were the perfect match “ we lived together in my house and there was naturally arguments on and off the last couple weeks of our relationship there was no fighting. Then she decided after working all day and we talked about the night before (sex) and she decided she was finished with me… Read more »
It’s been a little over three months since my ex and I broke up. I’ve completed no contact, given her space , never begged or been pushy did the right moves based on advice given on here and other places. She’s still will barely talk to me and will barely reply to text messages. Back in September I purchased a Christmas gift for her and even though we broke up I still sent it to her. She replied thank you for the gift. You didn’t need to. Merry Christmas. Attached to the gift was a clean slate letter. She made… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Angelo,

the clean slate message is supposed to be sent or said before nc so that she would think you are moving on and not chasing her anymore.. and don’t ask if you can be friendly because that looks like chasing.. right now, continue doing what you’re doing and maybe initiate slowly building rapport after 21 days.. make this your last nc..

We’ve been a bit more talkative with one another lately but nothing substantial. I’ve tried texting her about clearing the air but she didn’t reply back. She told me a few weeks ago she was mad at me for things I said to someone but she didn’t tell me who or what and I honestly don’t know what I said. She made a point to mention that she wanted us to remain friends and that the look on my face indicated that I didn’t want that as an option. She ended the convo by saying that she thought it was… Read more »
My girlfriend hit me out of the blue on Sept 17th with I realized it this week while you were away that I am needing my space. We talked, i asked her what she was saying, was she saying good bye. There was a pause and then she said I need you to take a big step back, it has to be really casual and I will call you. We agreed. I saw her for most of the day on Oct 1st. a few days later when we were texting she said she really needed to focus n her girls,… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Greg,

you can initiate contact now so you can slowly rebuild rapport.

Hello, my ex girlfriend of just over two years just broke up with me over the phone a week ago, to me this was completely out of the blue, but she said she had been mulling it over for a month or so. Her explanation was a couple things. One was that she felt I deserved better than her because I was such an awesome person and that I put in 110% into the relationship and she did not. Which is not true because I could not ask for any more than what she was. The second was that she… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Jim,

you already tried talking to her,so now what’s your plan? Are you going to do the nc rule?

I am going through a rough patch. I am not going to lie. Right before Christmas she broke up with me because she said the following; – she was losing love for me due to having negative feelings from a fight and argument we had a couple days prior to our break up. -Said she was still reeling emotionally from an argument we had in August that I did not know about till she disclosed to me on the day we broke up that she was still somewhat bothered by it. -Some of her friends and her family have been… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Jay

that means you need to restart the count after meeting her

Hi, my ex girlfriend broke up with me two months ago, we were together for 10 months. I tried to beg her back, then we agree on NC. In the first 2 weeks it was impossible to accomplish couse I had to move out, and my stuff was all over the place, it took me time and she kept texting about my stuff. The last time I was there, we talked, and I managed to invite her to lunch, as a date. I’m pretty busy in general, that’s why the date was a week after that. We texted each other… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Danny,

stick to at least 30 days first.. be active in improving yourself and in posting, and then slowly rebuild rapport after that.. if it doesn’t work, move on..

Lee Y

Should I create a social media account to help the NCP be more effective?

EGR Team Member: Amor
EGR Team Member: Amor

Yes, you should..

Jans I

Can NC work without posting on social media?

EGR Team Member: Amor
EGR Team Member: Amor

it can but it will be more effective for you if you did..


Hi AMOR, previously you mention to me that it’s normal for my ex-girlfriend to unfollow my instagram especially she is the one to break up with me. May I ask what’s the reason for that?
Anyway I have been doing positive stuffs on myself such as going for courses for my career and gym. But I still miss and think of her every night before sleep.

EGR Team Member: Amor
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Eric,

it’s to stop herself from looking at your posts.. by human nature, she will still miss you even if she’s the one who broke up with you..


Thanks! I’m not sure whether is she still missing me now. I realise she might be seeing someone now who is actually her Friend for few years. I just recently make a Christmas card and mail it to her house. The card that I write doesn’t show any needy words like ‘I miss you’ or ‘I still love’. It’s just purely a simple Christmas wish for her. Will you please advise me that am I doing the right thing? Thanks!

EGR Team Member: Amor
EGR Team Member: Amor

Nope, don’t do it..


Finally she contacted back after NC. She said she is fine and she will be back but still need a bit more time for herself to recover. Her name is aparna and i love her. Thanks for your help AMOR. Couldn’t do it without you.

EGR Team Member: Amor
EGR Team Member: Amor

You’re welcome

Matt Sjkei
Hi there, So my ex girlfriend and I are both 19 years old. We had an amazing relationship, we were each other’s best friend, and I would describe our relationship as very intimate and loving. Since being in college though, I noticed that she was beginning to feel stressed from school, and she told me that she needed to take a break to “breathe.” A week later, she broke up with me and her reasoning was because she felt that I would not have time for her since I am going to university next year. It has been 21 days… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Matt,

If you were not active in improving yourself and in posting, restart the count and do another 21 days and then initiate contact

Lab Z

My ex wife cheated on me and she is in a relationship with the same man, one day in a date with our daughter she said, “i really don’t want you to leave my life, but i can’t break the relationship im in, i really like my partner, i can’t love you”

EGR Team Member: Amor
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Lab z,

Do you want to try nc?


Hi, I think I rather foolishly applied a 21 day no contact rule instead of the full 30. There weren’t any harsh words at the breakup, but I was clingy for several days after. After making gentle contact again I got no response. It’s now been 11 days since. I’m lost as to what my next move should be.

Thanks for your help

EGR Team Member: Amor
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Matt,

How active were you in improving yourself and in posting?


Hi there! It’s been 30 days since i called. She tried to contact me in between i tried not talk but the condition was inevitable so had to. Should i contact her now or wait for more as she contacted !
Second thing is has unfollowed me everywhere and blocked me as well except on text or call.
What should i do?

EGR Team Member: Amor
EGR Team Member: Amor

How much did you improve yourself? And even if you’re blocked, you can post just make it public