What We'll Cover
Est Read Time - 36 Mins
Have you ever been jealous before?
No, I am seriously asking you.
It’s like this dark feeling that you get in your chest when you see your girl talking to another guy. Logic tells you to remain calm, “he’s just her friend.” Ah, but then you see him initiate a hug with her. This is where your emotions chime in and your mind immediately goes into “worst case scenario” mode.
“She might be cheating on me with this fool,” you think to yourself.
Of course, you being jealous only makes you realize how much you care for your girl. Now, imagine if you could do this to your ex girlfriend.
Jealousy can be a powerful emotion and if used improperly can cause a lot of damage not only to you but to your ex girlfriend as well. You see, I am not a fan of using jealousy to hurt people. I think that is a shameless thing to do. However, I am completely fine with using a small amount of healthy jealousy to progress your campaign to win your ex back.
Before We Begin I Need To Tell You Something Important
Many men come to this website wanting to get their ex girlfriends back.
But there’s a problem with this line of thinking….
Getting an ex girlfriend back generally isn’t a simple process. It requires a lot of thought, strategy and even a little bit of luck.
The truth is that I can’t tell you everything that you absolutely need to know about getting your ex girlfriend back in this article.
For me to say that I can would be a lie.
Luckily, I have created something that can tell you just about everything you absolutely need to know to get your ex girlfriend back.
You can learn more about it by clicking the button below,Get Relief FasterWith Tactics I Can't Put on the Blog...
Some Jealousy Can Be Healthy
Before I really get going I do want to point out that I am not some licensed psychologist who knows everything there is to know about jealousy (though I do know a lot.) So, the views that I am about to express here are my own.
I want to ask you a question.
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Do you think women like it when a man gets jealous?
Think about it for a moment before you blurt anything out.
The true answer is that they absolutely love it when a man gets jealous. However, there is a line that can be crossed from healthy jealousy to unhealthy jealousy and once that line is crossed women will start to despise a man for it.
Healthy Jealousy- Showing jealousy in a calm way on rare occasions. You don’t linger on the jealousy too much and it doesn’t affect the future of your relationship but your significant other can definitely tell you are a little jealous.
Unhealthy Jealousy- Showing jealousy in almost a violent way. You constantly think about the jealousy and always assume the worst (you are being cheated on.) The jealousy affects how you treat your significant other and you are suspicious every time they do anything that you perceive as a situation where you think you can be cheated on.
In other words, when it comes to jealousy both men and women essentially have the same views.
As men we love it when a girl gets jealous because it means that she really cares about us. I mean, it probably wouldn’t be a good sign if she was ok with us kissing someone else that wasn’t her (which is essentially being ok with us cheating.)
However, we really hate it when a girl can get so jealous that she essentially tries to control our lives. Where she watches our every move and her actions say that she has no trust in us (aka unhealthy jealousy.)
The point I am trying to make here is that if you came here trying to get your ex girlfriend to exhibit unhealthy jealousy you will have essentially opened Pandora’s box and trust me when I say you won’t like what you find. What you want is to have your girlfriend show healthy jealousy towards you. This leads me to my next point.
Don’t Rub It In Her Face
Getting an ex girlfriend to exhibit healthy jealousy is like a subtle art.
If you decide to take the “rub it in her face” approach the Pandora’s box will be opened and you won’t do yourself any favors when it comes to progressing your campaign to get her back.
I want to explain my Pandora’s box reference since it is important that you understand the consequences that go along with it.
Right now I am making one big assumption about you. That assumption is that you want your ex girlfriend back. So, explain to me how it would be a good idea to create unhealthy jealousy within her and potentially cause a fight between the two of you that will drive you further away from your ultimate goal?
How in the world is that a good idea?
Oh, and believe me that when guys think to themselves,
“Hmm… I think I am going to make her jealous.”
They immediately go out and try to make her jealous by making out with another girl and rubbing it in her face.
Yes, tactics like:
- Making out with another girl in front of an ex on purpose.
- “Accidentally” sending a dirty text message meant for another girl to your ex.
- Sending pictures of another girl to your ex.
These are literally the dumbest ideas on the face of the earth. While in some cases you can succeed in making your ex jealous most of the time all you will accomplish is driving your ex away from you because you basically reinforced the idea that you are a total jerk to her.
Now, lets say that you do “rub the jealousy in her face.” Lets say that you successfully make her jealous. Well, the type of jealousy that you will have extracted won’t be positive. Instead, it is going to be unhealthy.
Remember, the name of the game here is to extract jealousy from her that is positive.
This is the type of jealousy that won’t make her go on a rampage of rage in public but a rampage of rage in her own head and ultimately arrive at the conclusion that she has to have you back. Lets talk a little more about this type of jealousy.
The Type Of Jealousy From Her That You Want To See
(Want to learn how to get your ex girlfriend back? Check out Ex Girlfriend Recovery PRO.)
When you read this particular section I want you to look at it as a way to understand the effect that the right type of jealousy can have on an ex girlfriend. In other words, if everything goes right and you make your ex girlfriend jealous in the right way, what is talked about in this section will occur.
In order to get the most out of this section I have divided it up into two main categories.
- What Goes On In Your Ex Girlfriends Mind (During Healthy Jealousy)
- What Your Ex Girlfriend Will Do In Public (During Healthy Jealousy)
Lets start first with what should be going on in your exes mind if you are successful in extracting healthy jealousy from her.
What Will Happen In Your Ex Girlfriends Mind
I have always found it interesting that when you are in a relationship with someone for a long time you start to be able to gauge how the other person is feeling without even saying a word. Maybe all it takes is a certain look or a certain feeling before you know for a fact that everything isn’t right with your significant other.
Jealousy is one of those types of feelings that is easy to spot on a person. Usually all you have to do is look at their face and you can know within seconds if they are jealous or not.
Since you are obviously here to figure out how you can make your ex girlfriend jealous in the right way you probably know exactly what I am talking about with this type of nonverbal realization that your significant other isn’t alright.
Ok, I want you to file that away in your memory for a moment because it is going to be important in a second.
Lets pretend that you are trying to make your ex girlfriend jealous in the right type of way (like I discussed above.) While it wasn’t easy and it took some time you were able to succeed.
The question you are probably wondering is,
“What is going on in her mind?”
This is a bit of a complicated question because I guarantee you that she isn’t thinking just one thing. No, she is probably thinking 100 different things (FYI, I am dead serious.) While you don’t have the time and I don’t have the patience to list those 100 thoughts I have decided that I am just going to talk about the most common thoughts she is going to be having.
Thought 1- I Can’t Let Him Know That I Am Jealous
I told you to file away a piece of information in the beginning of this section. Do you remember what it was?
(It was that non verbal realization that something is not quite right with your significant other.)
Pretty much everyone who has ever been in a relationship has experienced this. Your ex girlfriend (since she has experienced this) will think to herself,
“I can’t let him know that I am jealous. I can’t even let him sense it.”
Girls are clever. They are much more clever than men. They know that if we sense that they are jealous we will be satisfied because lets be honest, we all love to be loved by women. So, an ex girlfriend who deep down knows that we will gain satisfaction from her being jealous is going to do everything in her power to hide the fact that she is jealous.
Thought 2- I Am Better Than This
I can’t tell you how many first dates I have been on where I have heard a woman say,
“Oh, I am not the jealous type.”
Any woman… no any HUMAN who says this is a liar.
Take me for example. I like to think that I am a very confident man who rarely gets jealous. However, I guarantee you that if I saw a girl I was dating constantly hugging, dancing or being flirty with other men I would without a doubt begin to get a little jealous.
While my ego tells me that I am a secure man the jealousy will work its magic to make me a little insecure.
The same type of thing will probably happen to your ex girlfriend if she begins to get jealous. In her mind she will probably think something like,
“I am better than this, I don’t get jealous.”
Of course, while she is saying that she will be jealous. This thought ties back into what I was saying above on how she doesn’t want to appear too jealous to give you, her ex boyfriend, the satisfaction that she is indeed jealous.
Thought 3- Maybe I Still Have Feelings For Him
I am going to put this the simplest way I can think of.
When it comes to relationships if you get jealous it means you still have feelings for the person. So, if your ex girlfriend gets jealous of you being with another girl or something of that nature it definitely means that she still has feeling for you.
“Wait, can an ex girlfriend have feelings for you after a breakup?”
Of course, where the hell have you been all day?
It goes like this.
You and your girlfriend have broken up. A few weeks have passed and your (now) ex girlfriend is starting to regret her decision. She misses how affectionate and caring you were. She starts to realize that maybe she didn’t have it as bad as she thought when she was with you.
Ah… now comes the jealousy.
She has been Facebook stalking you and she happened to notice that you have been hanging around with a really pretty girl. Her mind begins to race with possibilities,
“Are they dating? Has he kissed her? I NEED TO KNOW!!!”
Her becoming jealous has only intensified the feelings she was already having (you know, how it wasn’t so bad being in a relationship with you.)
This is where she begins to regret her decision of leaving the relationship since she is still realizing that she has feelings for you. At this point I think it would be fair of you to ask me how in the world I could possibly know that a jealous woman goes through this process in her mind?
It’s a fair question since I am a man and I am certainly not a mind reader. However, I do have one incredible resource at my fingertips.
You see, before I created this site I created one called Ex Boyfriend Recovery. In other words, the female version of this site. I have literally talked to 30,000 jealous women because of that website. So, if you are reading this and thinking to yourself,
“How in the world does he have this much insight into women?”
Trust me, I don’t. I am an average guy just like you. However, what I do have is experience in watching thousands of women be jealous so I know exactly what goes on in their minds and trust me when I say we haven’t even scratched the surface yet.
Lets turn our attention to what an ex girlfriend will do in public if she begins to exhibit healthy jealousy.
What Your Ex Girlfriend Will Do In Public
(Admit it… you saw this meme and got jealous.)
Now we are getting to the good stuff. Until now all we have been focusing on is what is going on inside your ex girlfriends head. Now we get to talk about what actions she may take if she starts getting jealous in a healthy way. It is best to view this section as a guide on the warning signs that she is jealous.
For example, if you use the tactics I discuss later on in this page to make your ex girlfriend jealous you may start to notice that the things that I discuss in this section may come to fruition.
Lets take a look at some of those things right now.
Jealousy Sign 1: She Facebook Stalks You
Here’s an interesting statistic.
According to a study done by a student of Western University, 88% of Facebook users who have gone through a breakup in the last year will keep an eye on their ex (so long as they are still Facebook friends.) This makes Facebook an incredible tool for using jealousy to your advantage (which I will talk about later.)
My point is that an ex girlfriend who is jealous is going to Facebook stalk you numerous times throughout the day.
Facebook Stalk- The act of continually checking on someones Facebook profile to keep an eye on them.
The more you update things on your Facebook profile the more likely it will be that your ex will get jealous. It’s as simple as that. I know it sounds crazy but even the smallest little updates can make someone jealous.
(Women are a little crazy after all 😉 .)
Here is the bad news.
There is no way you can know for sure if she is Facebook stalking you. Well, let me rephrase that. There is no way of knowing if an ex who is jealous, but quiet about it, is keeping tabs on you. I am sure there will be some cases where an ex girlfriend may blow up your Facebook profile with likes, comments or messages but for the most part, women tend to be very hushed about their Facebook stalking.
Jealousy Sign 2- She Will Start Texting And Calling You More Frequently
This is something that I teach in my book, The Texting Bible.
An ex girlfriend who gets jealous can have a very interesting mindset.
As I stated above, some women will fight with every fiber in their being to hide their jealousy. Of course, there will always be those women who aren’t good at holding their jealousy in. Lets do a little role playing to illustrate this point.
You and your ex girlfriend have broken up.
Now, immediately after the breakup you did everything you possibly could to get her back but she rejected all of your advances. After months of trying to reconnect you decide to give up. You take some time and eventually come to the conclusion that you are ready to date again.
There is just one problem.
Your ex girlfriend has been keeping tabs on you the entire time. She has witnessed you getting back out there and this stirs some feelings of jealousy within her. Her mind constantly screams,
“Oh my god… I think I still have feelings for him.”
Eventually she gives in to those feelings and decides to text you and call you much more frequently than you are used to. Her inability to remain calm is causing her to lose control of that little voice in the back of her head saying,
“I can’t let him know that I am jealous.”
This brings us to a very interesting question.
Could it be possible that your ex girlfriend is just trying to be nice by texting or calling you and she isn’t jealous at all?
Actually yes… it is possible.
This is why I want to teach you a method in which you can vet her calls and texts so you can determine if she is jealous or not.
Ok, the first sign that your ex girlfriend could be getting her feelings for you back as a result of jealousy has to do with how engaged in the texts or calls she is. Let me give you an example. Lets say that your ex girlfriend texts you every once in a while but the conversation never lasts more than 5 texts.
This is what I would call someone who is disinterested.
Now, lets say that when your ex girlfriend texts you the conversation always lasts more than 50 texts.
This is what I would call someone who is interested.
Do you see how the engagement works?
The next factor you can look at to determine if your ex girlfriend is jealous has to do with other women in your life. For example, if you catch her asking you something like,
(More more texts like this check out The Texting Bible.)
If an ex girlfriend ever asks you about other girls I would say that it is a good sign because it means that she is trying to figure out if you are seeing anyone. Since jealousy in this case usually involves other women it is safe to say that your ex is jealous if she starts asking about those other women.
Jealousy Sign 3- She Will Touch You A Lot In Person
Lets say that you work the magic jealousy moves on this page on your ex girlfriend and you happen to see her in public.
The two of you have a lovely chat and decide that you want to catch up so you decide to go to a restaurant across the street. As you are walking across the street you notice these subtle little touches from your ex.
Her hand brushes up against yours…
She playfully shoves you..
She says something, smiles and then proceeds to carefully place her hand on your back…
After a while you realize the truth, she is flirting with you. She is smiling at you a lot and constantly looks into your eyes. Jealousy has a way of making people realize how important their significant other is. It could be possible that if you are successful in making your ex jealous she may start to be more playful and “touchy” with you when you see her in person.
So, keep an eye out for this.
Jealousy Sign 4- She May Try To Seduce You
A friend of mine once told me a very interesting story about his ex girlfriend.
Apparently his ex girlfriend broke up with him because she was losing feelings for him. Now, my friend is a pretty cool guy so he accepted what she said and decided to move on with his life. He did just that as a few months later he started dating his future wife.
Unfortunately for him, his ex was keeping tabs on him (see jealousy sign #1.) All of a sudden, once she saw him with someone else, she began to get jealous and decided that she wanted him back.
She began texting him (jealousy sign #2) but he didn’t respond to any of her texts (he was perfectly happy with his new girlfriend/future wife.) This must have made her mad since she upped her advances to calling him (jealousy sign #2) but just like the texting he didn’t pick up on any of her calls.
Then she got really crazy.
At the time my friend was living on his own in an apartment (remember he had just started dating his new girlfriend so they weren’t living together yet.) Well, his ex girlfriend knew where he lived and decided it would be a good idea to approach him there.
Imagine his surprise when he heard a knock at his door and saw that it was his ex.
My friend made the mistake of letting his ex in the apartment so they could talk (so he could give her some type of closure.) Unfortunately (or fortunately,) his ex didn’t want closure. She played her final card, sex. When he rejected her she was furious and stormed out of the apartment.
Crazy story huh?
That is the power of jealousy. It can literally make women so desperate that they will try to seduce you to get you back.
How To Make Your Ex Girlfriend Jealous
(If you want to get your girlfriend of wife back you need to read Ex Girlfriend Recovery PRO.)
I want you to remember the next few words I say very carefully because the entire game plan for making your ex girlfriend jealous revolves around them.
There is brilliance in subtlety
I have already spoken about how I am not a fan of rubbing jealousy in an exes face. Well, I just wanted to reinforce that point since making an ex girlfriend jealous the right way is going to require you to master the art of subtle jealousy.
Luckily, I am going to show you exactly what you need to do in order to be very subtle about your jealousy. First though, lets take a look at the overall game plan that you need to implement in order to make your ex jealous.
This can be a complicated game plan if you don’t understand what’s going on. So, don’t worry if it doesn’t make sense right now because I assure you that after you read this entire page it will be like second nature. What I am going to do now is go through each of the 5 steps outlined in graphic above.
Lets start with the no contact rule.
The No Contact Rule And Jealousy
If you don’t know what the no contact rule is don’t worry I wrote about it extensively here.
Of course, I know that you are all lazy and won’t take the time to click on that link 😉 so I am just going to go ahead and tell you what it is.
The no contact rule is basically a period of time (that you designate) where you aren’t allowed to have any type of communication with your ex girlfriend at all. On Ex Girlfriend Recovery I recommend that you choose from three different no contact time periods.
- A 21 day period.
- A 30 day period.
- A 45 day period.
Which one should you pick?
Well, click on that link I gave above and find out (you didn’t think I was going to give you all the answers did you?)
Why The No Contact Rule Is Important For Extracting Jealousy
If you really want to make your ex girlfriend jealous in a subtle way you have to attack her mind from three different angles.
What are these three angles?
- Letting her mind do some of the work for you.
- Through living well in your own life.
- Through actually making her jealous.
Which one of those three “angles” do you think the no contact rule does really well?
If you guessed,
“Letting her mind do some of the work for you.”
then you guessed right.
Of course, a case can be made for the other things on that list as well but really letting her mind becomes jealous on its own is what I want to focus on here.
I want to take you through a scenario. Yes, we are doing more role playing. Sorry if you are getting sick of it but giving examples to illustrate my points will help you learn the material faster so listen up.
Imagine that you implement a 21 day no contact rule on your ex girlfriend. Throughout those 21 days you get text message after text message from her but you are smart and ignore them completely (remember, 21 day NC.)
Every time you ignore her messages she begins to think to herself,
“I wonder if he met someone else?”
Her mind races with all the possibilities.
“What does she look like? Is she better looking than me? How long did it take him to date her after he broke up with me?”
The truth is that you aren’t dating anyone at all (though maybe going on a few dates wouldn’t hurt but more on that later.) The point I am trying to make here is that sometimes silence is the best way to make your ex girlfriend jealous because her mind is going to go crazy trying to figure you out.
Trust me, I have seen it happen first hand.
Self improvement is something that I preach a lot in my EGR PRO guide. So that tells you right there how important it is.
Let me ask you something.
Hypothetically, if you were to go to the park and run into your ex girlfriend right now what do you think she would say about you?
Would she say,
“Wow, he looks really great.”
“Wow, he looks terrible.”
Well, right now one thing that I know for a fact about you is that you aren’t doing too well. Why do I say that?
Because you are on the internet looking for a way to make your ex girlfriend jealous. I am sorry to say this but anyone who is in that position is not doing ok. Ideally, what you want to have happen in the hypothetical situation I presented above is you want your ex to think,
“Wow, he looks incredible.”
Why do you think you want that to happen? What does any of this have to do with jealousy?
Well, if you want to understand it is probably best to take a trip into the mind of a woman, a truly scary place.
Women have this funny way of wanting to believe that they were the best you ever had. They want to believe that they gave you the best relationship, sex, etc of your life. No woman wants to be told that she wasn’t the best or that someone else was better.
How do I know this?
Try telling a girl you are dating that she wasn’t as good as someone else in a certain aspect of your relationship and then run for your life because you will have just unleashed the Kraken.
In your ex girlfriends mind she was the best girlfriend ever to you. So, she is probably expecting you to be sulking around or going crazy without here.
(Actually, now that I think about it this isn’t just an ex girlfriend thing. Ex boyfriends (for girls) do this as well. Maybe it is just human to want to be the best relationship that the other person had? Food for thought?)
Anyways, the second she sees that you aren’t sulking around or crying yourself to sleep at night is the second she has this grand realization that maybe she wasn’t the best girlfriend ever to you because the best girlfriend ever would cause a guy to sulk around like a baby.
Your ex will be filled with anger and even a little jealousy that you are doing so well after the breakup when she is still hurting a little bit.
My main point here is that self improvement is another important fact for adding that extra layer of jealousy.
So, what type of self improvement are we talking about here? When do you start “self improving?”
Well, you want to improve both mentally and physically and you should start right away. Actually, the no contact rule is a perfect time to really put the focus on yourself. So, if I was in your position I would start doing the following things,
- Getting in better shape.
- Taking care of hygiene.
- Learning to use logic as opposed to emotion.
- Determining if your ex girlfriend and you can sustain a long relationship.
Lets take a moment and look at why each of these things are important.
Getting In Better Shape
I don’t care if you are a body builder I want you to get in the best shape of your life. Look, there are two big reasons why I want you to do this. The first is that it is going to improve your physical appearance. So, if you do happen to run into your ex (or when you finally do see her) she will be more likely to think to herself,
“Wow, he looks incredible.”
The second reason getting in great shape is important is that it can be a tremendous confidence builder.
Right now your confidence isn’t that great.
(You know I am right.)
Getting in great shape is going to rebuild that confidence and it will give you an outlet to let your anger out on how messed up your love life has gotten. Believe me, I have been in exactly your situation before where I have been heartbroken and doing something like a really hard workout is a bit of a break from all the worry and stress that goes along with that heartbreak.
Taking Care Of Hygiene
Ok, I am not going to point any fingers at anyone specifically but I will say one thing.
Men who are in a position like yours tend to let themselves go a little bit.
What do I mean by that?
Well, they don’t stay in shape, they eat everything in sight and go on month long Netflix binges (hey, I have nothing against Netflix.) Unfortunately, there is one nasty little detail that is like adding a disgusting cherry on top. They have some serious body odor.
A few years ago a friend of mine described the worst date of her life.
Her friends set her up with a guy that had just broken up with his girlfriend. He showed up to the date very uninterested which is understandable as he just broke up with his girlfriend. Unfortunately, there was one detail that was impossible for my friend to overlook. Her date had some horrible B.O.
My friend words exactly,
“Chris, the body odor was so bad I literally saw plants dying as we walked past them.”
Look, we have already talked about getting in good shape above but taking care of yourself is also essential. Things like,
- Being clean shaven.
- Smelling good (ALL THE TIME.)
- Dressing like a sophisticated male.
Are all important because they will force you to take care of yourself and you won’t ever have to be the guy with body odor on a date.
Learning To Use Logic As Opposed To Emotion
If there is one thing I have learned about exes it is that they have a way of making you super emotional and clouding your judgement. Well really, anyone who you have feelings like that for has a way of doing that.
Let me give you an example.
Lets say that you and your ex decide that you are going to talk on the phone tonight. Both of you agreed that around 9 PM you were going to have a conversation but your ex girlfriend insists that she is the one to call you. You are pretty excited about this and quickly agree to her terms. In fact, you are so excited that you decide to clear your entire schedule for the night.
It is 8:55 PM and you are pumped to talk to her. Time ticks away and soon it is 9:05 PM and you think to yourself,
“Hmm… maybe she is just a little busy. She will get back to me.”
Anger begins to build as the clock hits 9:30PM and the call from her still hasn’t come. Your mindset quickly shifts with your anger.
“God, she is so flaky. She was always like this when we dated. I can’t stand that b*tch.”
Finally at 9:45 PM your ex calls you. Turns out that she took a long bath and lost track of time. It’s too late though. The anger of her not holding to her word of calling you at 9 PM has angered you so much that you start a fight with her.
Again, this is a made up example but lets pretend that you were in this exact situation and you really wanted your ex girlfriend back. Explain to me how starting a fight with her over her calling 45 minutes late is going to get you closer to your goal of getting her back?
The answer is that it won’t.
What we have here is a situation where you have gotten highly emotional over something stupid (she did end up calling you right?)
If you were to just use logic you would have avoided this fight altogether and be that much closer to getting her back. Look, if you want to make your ex girlfriend jealous in the right way then that means that eventually you will have to talk to her.
So, make sure that by the time you do you are able to remain mature and logical as opposed to immature and emotional.
Can You And Your Ex Sustain A Long Relationship?
I want to stay with train of thought of thinking logically.
I want you to ask yourself a very hard question.
Is she worth it?
The information on this page can help you get your ex girlfriend back. Heck, this entire site was created for that reason. But I didn’t create Ex Girlfriend Recovery so you can just get your ex back. No, I created it because I want you and your new girlfriend (previously your ex) to have a long lasting relationship.
Look, I am not saying that I want all the couples that end up getting reunited to get married. However, I would like there to be a positive future for them where marriage is at least a possibility.
Therein lies the problem.
I know I may catch some flack for this but a lot of couples that break up aren’t right for each other.
They will either fight too much, not communicate enough or simply not be mature enough.
Relationships aren’t all fun and games. The ones that last long are the ones where both people (you and your ex in this case) are willing to work through any problems that pop up. Lets say that you do get your ex girlfriend back. Lets say you follow everything I say on this page to a T.
Do you honestly believe that the two of you can make it work a second time around? Are you willing to put in the work? Is she?
Emotionally you want to believe with all your heart that you can make it work. However, I want you to take emotion out of the equation entirely. I want you to think with your head instead of your heart for once. Be honest with yourself.
Can you and your ex girlfriend make it work if you do get back together?
If you think you can then take out a piece of paper and list out how you are going to make it work. I know it sounds corny but it is important. What is going to change this time around? What are you going to do differently?
Will you communicate better? Will you not be as jealous when she talks to her guy friends?
List out exactly how things will be different this time.
Because if you can’t then you have a much bigger problem. Look, there is no doubt in my mind that you have the ability to win back your ex girlfriend whether it be through jealousy or some other obscure tactic. What I am trying to get at is if she is even worth your time.
If she isn’t then you owe it to yourself to move on.
These are the types of things you need to be asking yourself during no contact and the self improvement period.
(Ex Girlfriend Recovery PRO can teach you how to go beyond jealousy to get your ex back.)
Lets get back to jealousy since I know I went on one of my long boring “don’t waste your time on something that won’t pan out in the long run” speeches.
Indirect jealousy can be one of the most effective methods in making your ex girlfriend jealous. Unfortunately, you have to be very careful with indirect jealousy since if you do it wrong you might only make your ex girlfriend extremely angry and she may have an epiphany where she says to herself,
“I think it’s time I moved on.”
The first method of indirect jealousy revolves around Facebook.
How To Use Facebook For Jealousy
Now would probably be a good time for me to tell you that I am not a fan of unfriending your ex after a breakup.
So, lets start there.
How can you use Facebook if you or your ex girlfriend have defriended each other?
Well, the first thing I want you to understand is that your ex girlfriend has eyes everywhere. Even if you aren’t Facebook friends anymore she is probably keeping an eye on your profile through scouts.
An interesting woman told me a very interesting story late last year. You see, her and her ex boyfriend had broken up and were no longer Facebook friends. She obviously wanted him back but she was very clever about not letting him know that. In order to keep an eye on what he was up to through Facebook she got a few trusted mutual friends to report on what was going on, on his profile.
In other words, she got spies to go across enemy lines and tell her exactly what was what.
You don’t think that happens?
I actually have a story that tops that one when it comes to spying.
One girl actually paid a beautiful friend of hers to hit on her ex boyfriend to see if he would “take the bait.”
He did if you are wondering.
(He asked for the beautiful friends number.)
My point is simple. Don’t ever assume that your ex girlfriend doesn’t have eyes on your profile. She always has eyes on your profile. ALWAYS!
Of course, if you and your ex girlfriend are still Facebook friends then you had better bet that she is keeping an eye on you. So, why not use this to your advantage to incite some jealousy?
Facebook Jealousy Tactic- Your Life Just Become AWESOME!
Isn’t it annoying how all these people on Facebook seem to post pictures of their lives and funny links?
Well, you just became one of those people.
- Any interesting links you find online, share them.
- Any cool pictures you take on your phone, share them.
- Anything interesting happening in your life, share it.
Your ex girlfriend was a big part of your life at one point. She used to be the first person that you would share this kind of stuff with (I hope.) So, when she sees that you are sharing that valuable information to the world as opposed to her she is going to be a little jealous.
Now, I do feel it is important to point out that you can’t overdo it.
Remember, this is supposed to be subtle. If you are updating things on your Facebook wall 2-3 times every day that is way too much. If it was me I would go on a schedule of posting something interesting every other day.
Facebook Jealousy Tactic- Your Dating Again 😉
I am going to say something that may be a little shocking.
I want you to go on a date with someone else. In other words, someone who isn’t your ex girlfriend.
Now, I realize that a lot of you may be hesitant to do something like this but trust me there is a method to my madness. I guarantee you that the second your ex girlfriend hears that you are on a date with some other girl she will begin to get a little jealous.
Still hesitant about going on a date with someone else?
First off, you aren’t dating anyone right now you are single. Secondly, there is nothing wrong with going out with someone as long as you don’t rub it in your exes face (more on that later.)
Unfortunately, there are a few things that you do have to watch out for on your date.
I don’t think you should kiss your date unless you really feel a connection with her. If you kiss her for the sake of kissing her that is essentially giving her hope for something that you don’t really feel. This means you are simply using her to further your own goals and this is wrong.
Just go out with a girl “friend” and have a good time. It’s as simple as that. Be honest with her about what you feel and don’t lead her on.
Of course, there is one controversial thing that I am going to ask you to do. During your date I want you to stop and ask a stranger for a picture of you and your date. I don’t want this picture to be anything flashy where you are making out with your date. That isn’t the purpose of this.
Maybe I should give you an example of how this picture should look.
(I can’t believe I just used that guy from the Jersey Shore as an example.)
Ok, I just picked this random picture up off the internet to describe the type of picture that you should take with your lady friend 😉 . Notice how there isn’t anything too controversial about the photo. They aren’t making out or touching each other in an “inappropriate way.” It is just a normal photo.
If you were to post a photo like this on Facebook I guarantee you that it would be more than enough to make your ex girlfriend jealous.
Some guys think that photos where they are kissing a girl or making out with her is the way to go to make their ex jealous. But remember, there is brilliance in subtlety and kissing someone is not very subtle.
A picture like the one above is all it will take to get the job done. Trust me.
Jealousy Text Messages
Lets move on to the text messages.
Pretend that you have completed your no contact rule, you have worked on becoming a better version of yourself and you have sprinkled in some indirect jealousy. Well, the next step in the jealousy progression would be to add in some jealousy text messages.
What are jealousy text messages?
They are SUBTLE (there’s that word again) text messages that incite jealousy in your ex girlfriend.
Here is where you walk a fine line because if you overdo it, it will be obvious to your ex that you are trying to make her jealous. Remember, women are very smart so don’t ever underestimate them. The key is to be subtle when your text your ex girlfriend.
Lets start with a fairly simple jealousy text. I like to call this one the “interesting conversation jealousy message.”
The Interesting Conversation Jealousy Message
(Want more text message examples like this? You know where to go.)
The part that is supposed to incite jealousy is the mention of your friend “Martha.” Ideally, what is supposed to happen is your exes mind starts to wonder how good of a friend she really is. Oh, and it might be important for me to mention that “your friend” needs to be a woman that your ex has never met or heard of before.
The genius part of this text message is that it also offers a compliment to your ex, the “it made me think of you” part. This compliment will contradict the jealousy and make your girlfriends mind go wild.
“Wait, who is this Martha? Is he dating her? Why haven’t I heard about this? Well, maybe he isn’t dating her because he is still thinking about me when he is talking to her. But who is she? I need to know!!”
The second type of jealousy message you can use on your ex is called the “do you remember jealousy message.”
The Do You Remember Jealousy Message
Sending this text message is a much riskier proposition because it is more obvious that you are trying to make your ex girlfriend jealous. Nevertheless, this can be a very effective text message if you want to create some jealousy within your ex.
The way this text message works is simple you pick a movie you know for a fact you didn’t see with your girlfriend.
Then you send a text message saying something like,
“Hey do you remember when we saw (that movie that she never saw?)”
Your ex girlfriend will most likely respond to it with something like,
This is where you dive in and say,
“Oh, it must have been with someone else.”
At this point your work is done. Your ex girlfriends mind should do the rest. You want her mind to be flooded with questions like,
” Did he see that movie with one of his friends or on a date? Why would he ask me about that movie?”
The second she starts thinking about you seeing the movie with another guy is the second that she begins to get jealous and you have her right where you want her.
Jealousy Phone Calls
The last step in the jealousy progression has to do with phone calls. Specifically, how you approach talking to your ex on the phone.
Look, I can give you all kinds of advice about how to talk on the phone with your girlfriend but the truth of the matter is that I didn’t write that guide for this. So, what I am going to do is focus on one specific aspect of talking to your ex on the phone, how to make her a little jealous.
The beautiful thing about talking on the phone as opposed to text messaging is that you can kind of hear the reactions of the other person.
For example, if you were to say something that hurt your exes feelings you would probably be able to tell since you are on the phone and can hear an immediate reaction. This is perfect for telling if your ex girlfriend is getting a little jealous since you might be able to feel her reaction out (to anything you say that could make her jealous) over the phone.
This begs the question, how can you make your ex girlfriend jealous if you talk to her on the phone?
Well, it is actually a lot like making her jealous through text messaging.
Your best bet is during the conversation you should tell a story or make a comment where you mention a friend of yours that is a girl. Your story or comment should be interesting and relevant but it should also sprinkle in some jealousy. Something like this should do the trick,
“It’s so interesting that you say that. I was hanging out with my friend Ashley the other day and we were talking about just that very thing.”
Lets break this comment down. Specifically, the “hanging out with Ashley” part.
After you say something like this I want you to listen very closely to how your ex girlfriend responds. If there is a mood change or an extended silence that means she is jealous or her mind is working towards it. It means she is probably thinking something like,
“He never hung out with Ashley when we were together? She always had a crush on him. I wonder if he is sleeping with her?”
When jealousy enters the equation the human mind usually goes over the worst case scenarios and that makes us even more jealous/worried.
Let your exes mind do all the work and you should be in good shape.