It’s your greatest fear…
You are barely hanging on after the breakup. In fact, it takes everything you have not to open up Facebook and do the customary “ex check up.”
Ex Check Up: That would be Facebook stalking my brother 😉
Of course, we all know that you are one text, one call, or one report from a friend away from /checking that Facebook.
When you inevitably break down and check her Facebook profile you are horrified by what you see,
It’s some other dude making out with your girl… ahem I mean ex girl.
That sums up your greatest fear right now, right?
Now, I am betting that most of you reading this article haven’t had this happen to them yet.
Most of you are probably still reeling from the breakup and you are counting on the fact that your ex girlfriend is too.
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And in all honesty she probably is.
But what if there was something that you could do to prevent her from dating someone else?
Would that even be possible?
Hmm… that is a great question.
It’s also a very complicated one.
Here Is The Truth
It’s impossible to fully prevent your ex to start dating someone new.
I mean, unless you had some sort of powers of mind control. But even then you would probably put your mind control powers to a different type of use,
So, while it’s impossible to fully prevent your ex from dating someone else there are things that you can do to drastically decrease her chances.
And that’s why I put together this
little massive article for you.
Ok, the logical first step to this article is to tackle this myth of rebounds that our society has.
What Is The Myth Of Rebounds?
For the longest time I was under the impression that going on the rebound was a good thing for your chances.
I, like most people, thought that rebounds rarely stand the test of time.
Of course, when I actually tried to prove that hypothesis I was greeted with an alternate truth that shocked me a bit.
What was this truth?
I’ll tell you in a second.
First things first, it is true that rebounds rarely stand the test of time. Yes, it is possible for your ex girlfriend to go on the rebound, fall in love and eventually marry her new guy.
Is it common?
Now, there is a common belief in society that one of the worst ways to handle a breakup is to go on the rebound. However, what if I told you that society is dead wrong?
How would you feel if I did that?
Well, society is dead wrong.
According to recent research released in a study. One of the best ways to get over your ex or resolve your feelings over your past partner is to enter into what is called “a rebound relationship.”
Now, I realize this goes against everything you have probably believed growing up.
But I think the results are undeniable.
Look, I am going to level with you.
And I realize that this may sound a little arrogant but it’s something that you need to hear.
There are maybe only a handful of people who are more qualified to talk about exes than me.
- I have dealt with thousands of situations.
- I have helped hundreds of people get back with their exes.
- I have helped hundreds of people move on from their exes.
- I have conducted independent research trying to find the correlations between what works and what doesn’t work.
And one of the findings that I have stumbled across in my research is that men who have an ex girlfriend who has moved on to a new guy have a consistently harder time getting their exes back than men who have ex girlfriends who haven’t moved on.
The research I cited above might explain why.
It’s probably because moving on to someone new facilitates the growth one requires to move on from an ex.
Now, does that mean that this is always what is going to happen?
Absolutely not, there is always the grass is greener syndrome to think about. Nevertheless, it is in your best interest to do everything that you possibly can to prevent your ex girlfriend from moving on to someone else.
Because it will definitely hurt your chances of getting her back.
And yes, even if it’s deemed a rebound.
Of course, at this point you are probably sitting there wondering,
Chris, what can I even do to prevent her from moving on to some new guy?
I am glad you asked.
There is a very specific plan I want you to follow.
The Game Plan
I have this theory.
Well, maybe theory isn’t a strong enough word.
I have this very strong hypothesis that if your ex girlfriend is still fascinated by you then she isn’t going to start dating someone else.
Instead, she is going to do what I recommend that all of my female clients DON’T do.
She is going to waste her time obsessing over you.
You see, I am in a very unique position where I can give you insight into how men and women act.
Well, on top of being the mastermind behind this beautiful website I am also the mastermind behind, Ex Boyfriend Recovery. It’s there that I work with female clients who tell me their deepest darkest desires relating to their exes.
So, I am in a position where I can actually step into the mind of a woman going through a break up because I deal with them all day long.
The Final Result: You get better advice on what works.
And what works is staying relevant in your exes mind by holding her interest.
Now, there are three ways you can do this,
A few days ago I stumbled across some really amazing research where scientists were trying to determine what the most important factors were to make someone fall in love with you.
Ultimately they settled on 12 things.
Now, when I stumbled across this research I literally had a mini panic attack of excitement,
However, the thing to keep in mind here is the fact that the situation that you are in is a bit different. I think it stands to reason that it’s easier to make someone fall in love with you the first time around as opposed to the second time.
So, out of the 12 factors that scientists identified I took out all the ones that probably weren’t applicable to your situation.
Ultimately I was left with three factors.
Of course, these three factors are essential to preventing your ex from going out and dating someone else.
In fact, if you can successfully implement these three factors I would go out on a limb and say that your chances of having her move on to someone else are extremely low. Of course, no one said that implementing these factors was going to be easy.
Let’s take a look at each of these factors now.
I have thought for a very long time on how I wanted to describe similarity to you.
In fact, I even started typing up a paragraph but no matter what I tried nothing seemed good enough.
And that’s when I remembered it.
A long time ago I watched this really interesting movie called High Fidelity.
And in it the main character mutters a phrase that kind of stuck with me throughout the years,
It’s what you like, not what you are like.
Here, in today’s day and age with YouTube at our fingertips I am sure that I can find the clip somewhere.
Here we go,
It’s funny how a film that is complete fiction can weave such truth into it. Anyways, the exact quote from the movie is,
I agreed that what really matters is what you like, not what you are like… Books, records, films – these things matter. Call me shallow but it’s the fu**in’ truth.
But when scientists identified that similarity was a component in falling in love were they only talking about things as trivial as books, records and films?
Actually yes… and no…
How similar your “likes” are to your partner definitely matters. However, scientists also identified things like attitudes, values and personality traits.
I’ll give you an example,
Your ex girlfriend is going to connect more with you if both of you are really big on having kids as opposed to only her being big on having kids.
Human beings are wired for connections.
We find meaning in them.
I’ll give you an even deeper example.
I am a huge fan of that show Game of Thrones.
In other words, my brain is wired for that connection. So, if you were to walk up to me and strike up a conversation on game of thrones I would connect to you a lot easier due to that fact.
What I want you to do is take out a piece of paper and write down things that you have in common with your ex.
Every time someone says,
“Take out a piece of paper”
I roll my eyes too.
However, this is serious business.
I want you to list your similarities out.
But I want you to do this in a very clever way.
You are going to divide this list up into three different categories,
In fact, I’ll do this little exercise with you. Now, I am a married man so I am going to list out how my wife and I are similar throughout these three categories,
Again, I want to reiterate that we are looking at similarities here.
For example, if you determine that you have a positive outlook on life and your ex has a negative outlook then that would not be a similarity.
Of course, I still haven’t answered what you do with these similarities once you have identified them.
Well, that’s where things get really interesting.
You are going to strategically place them in your conversations with her.
I’ll give you an example.
Let’s say that I am texting my wife and I want to slip a similarity into our conversation. I would probably go with something like this,
Do you see where the similarity is?
Well, if you took the time to read the list I put together then you would notice that my wife and I are both big fans of tex mex restaurants. Therefore, I found a way to cleverly slip that into a text message.
This is the kind of thing that I want you to constantly do to your ex.
Now, don’t go overboard with it.
Sprinkle them in throughout your conversations.
You’ll find that it actually will make her open up to you a bit easier as well.
This is really where we hit the meat of this article.
Without a doubt hitting on the arousal component of this strategy is the most likely to make sure that your ex girlfriend stays interested in you and doesn’t stray.
I suppose I should start this article off by saying that scientists have actually proven that,
Any type of situation that affects us emotionally increases the chance of falling in love.
Have you ever heard of this concept called, misattribution of emotions?
Well, the concept is fascinating.
MIT behavioral economist, Dan Ariely, did a study once where he took an audience who was listening to a band play and asked them to rate their attractiveness level before the band actually started playing. Of course, after the band played their songs the audience members were asked once again to rate each band members attractiveness level.
The results were staggering.
Each band member received a gigantic boost in attractiveness level after the songs were played.
So, why did this happen?
Well, Ariely, claims it’s due to “misattribution of emotions.”
“Sometimes we have an emotion and we don’t know where it’s coming from, so we kind of stick it on something that seems sensible.”
In other words, the audience members became aroused and emotionally affected by the songs the band was playing and stuck those emotions to the band members. Therefore, the band members appeared to be more attractive.
Now, here is where things get really interesting.
Dan Ariely, wasn’t the only scientist to discover this misattribution of emotions idea.
Ori Brafman and Rom Brafman wrote a book, Sway: The Irresistible Pull of Irrational Behavior where they conducted a very similar study,
Men would end up having to cross a bridge. At the end of the bridge there was a female researcher who handed out her number to the men to follow up with.
The study looked at how many men would end up calling the girl.
The study seems kind of silly, huh?
Well, where it gets interesting is that the men were divided into two groups and each group had to cross two different types of bridges.
Group One had to cross this bridge,
Pretty simple, right?
Well, it gets interesting when you look at the bridge group two had to cross,
Now, out of the two groups which one do you think called the woman for a follow up discussion more?
By far, group two.
Here is an excerpt from the original scientist who conducted the study describing why they called more,
But for the men who crossed the rope bridge, anxiety and adrenaline translated into a heightened romantic interest in the assistant. Their physiological reactions affected their perceptions. …The bridge’s ability to enhance the men’s romantic attraction earned it the moniker “the love bridge” within the psychological community.
Again, this plays into the idea of misattribution of emotions.
But how can we make this concept work for us.
Well, the way I see it the misattribution of emotions theory always has a catalyst.
The Catalyst: Something has to happen to affect someone on an emotional level.
Now, from all the research I found it appears like the catalyst can be anything.
It can be a song…
It can be a movie…
It can be a freaking suspension bridge…
The key is that it has to affect someone on an emotional level.
Now, why is it important for someone to be affected emotionally.
Well, if they are affected emotionally then they are going to push those emotions towards you and ultimately make you more attractive.
So, how can we use this towards your advantage.
The Catalyst Theory
This may sound a little weird but I want you to have a list of catalysts.
Of things that you can do…
Situations that you can put your ex in…
Movies you can make her watch…
That will affect her emotionally.
Oh, and generally the more positive the emotions she feels the better.
Well, you are essentially going to inception her feelings for you using arousal to your advantage.
You’ve seen that movie inception, right?
The gist of the movie goes like this.
You basically plant an idea into someones dream to ultimately get them to take a desired action that you want them to take in real life.
Well, that’s what you are kind of doing here.
You are basically giving your ex girlfriend an experience that will arouse her and you are taking a leap of faith that she is going to associate that arousal with you.
However, it’s vitally important that you have a strong catalyst.
Remember, this has to affect her emotionally.
I’ll give you a few examples of great catalysts.
Halloween just ended so it’s still fresh on my mind but there is one thing that is very popular during halloween.
Care to take a guess at what that one thing is?
What a great catalyst.
Let’s pretend that you convince your ex to go to a haunted house with you.
While you go on this little outing you both have ghouls, goblins, ghosts and all sorts of other scary things jumping out you.
What can affect a human woman more than that?
In fact, you may find that she constantly relies on you to protect her.
Well, when it’s all said and done she will misattrbute her emotions into you and you will appear more attractive to her.
You see, the main problem I see men having is they try to get their ex back from a logical point of view.
The only problem with this is that love isn’t logical.
Hey, I’m not judging.
I am the same type of way.
I often have to remind myself that the key to getting an ex back is tapping into the raw emotions of love within an ex.
And I have never found any better way to do that than this one.
What’s the worst date you have ever been on?
Because I will put my bad dates up against anyone’s any day of the week.
Honestly, when I think back on my worst dates there are two that really stand out.
Of course, they both stand out for very different reasons.
On one of the dates my foot literally did this,
Ok, maybe it didn’t snap in half like good ole Anderson Silva up there (any UFC fans in the house?) But my foot did break on a date once and it made the date one of the most excruciating experiences of my life.
Instead of thinking about how I could charm the girl all I was thinking when she would talk to me was,
“Shut the he** up. Let’s finish this date so I can go home.
Ya, that date didn’t go well.
Nevertheless, even that horrifying experience wasn’t the worst date I have ever been on.
No, that honor goes to… wait, I forgot her name.
Ah, I can’t remember.
This literally happened 8 years ago so cut me a break.
It was a blonde girl. I remember that much.
Now, back then I didn’t get excited for dates that much.
Because it seemed like every girl I went out with was a disappointment.
But I remember I was very excited to take this particular girl out on a date.
She was by far one of the prettiest girls I had been on a date with and I could actually visualize a future where I could call her my girlfriend.
Now, usually before dates I don’t get that nervous.
However, on the off chance that I do then that means that I really like the person I am going on a date with.
And I was nervous for this date.
I remember I picked her up at her apartment and off we went on the date.
About midway through I realized that this girl was nothing but a stick in the mud.
I would tell a joke… she would barely crack a smile.
I would tell an engaging story… she would nod her head looking very bored.
I would prime her to open up about her life… she would give me minimal details.
What the hell was going on?
Well, I was putting a good effort in to connect with her but she wasn’t reciprocating that effort.
The result meant that we ended up on completely different wavelengths.
It turned into the worst date of my life.
I have been on a lot of dates in my life and never had this happened to me.
It leads me to my ultimate point about your ex girlfriend.
Reciprocation is important.
Take a look at this graphic,
When scientists looking into how love was formed they found that reciprocation was key. However, the funny thing about reciprocation is that it has to go both ways.
In the graphic above I clearly depict this.
So, any time your ex says or does something to prove her love to you then you need to reciprocate that love.
And this is where things get tricky.
Any time you say or do something to prove your love to her then SHE needs to reciprocate that love.
And that’s really what I want to talk about,
You see, I have no doubt that you can reciprocate your exes love.
However, I do have doubts that she will reciprocate your love.
And I think you do to.
So, what’s the best way to get her to reciprocate.
Well, I realize that this is going to sound extremely cliche but I have already given you the answer. Do you remember the graphic above I put together for you to explain how to prevent your ex from moving on to someone else?
If you don’t then here is a quick refresher,
There were three main components to this “plan.”
Did you pay any attention to the order they were in?
Because that actually matters, a lot.
As long as you perform these actions in this order you should have no problem getting your ex to reciprocate.