You are obviously here because you are interested in your ex girlfriend. Thus, I can assume that you miss your ex girlfriend. You probably miss her so much you are willing to walk through fire to get her back. I understand how you are feeling because I deal with so many men and women that go through your situation on a daily basis.
I wanted to create a guide that can teach men how to make their ex girlfriends miss them the way that they miss their ex girlfriends.
Except I want this guide to become something special.
I want it to literally become the “go to” guide for anything relating to an ex girlfriend and the feeling of “missing” someone. I spent two weeks compiling research and prepping for how I want this guide to be set up and I feel I have enough to say about the topic to get some amazing results for people.
I suppose the best way to start this thing is to talk about the feeling of missing someone.
The Plan To Make Your Ex Girlfriend Miss You
(For a more complete plan on getting your girlfriend or wife back make sure you check out Ex Girlfriend Recovery PRO.)
Before I give you the actual plan to make your ex girlfriend miss you lets talk about what the overall goal of this page is.
You see, I realize most of the men who visit this site want their ex girlfriends back. While this page can certainly help in that regard it isn’t the main purpose of it. The main purpose of this page is to spark the non verbal missing emotion and drive your ex girlfriend crazy with thoughts of how much she “misses” you.
If you want a clearer game plan on how to get your ex girlfriend back I suggest you read my monster guide.
So, the game plan that I am about to unveil strictly focuses on one thing, figuring out how to make your ex girlfriend miss you.
Ok, enough talking from me.
Here is the plan I put together for you to follow to make your ex miss you.
- Tap into her non verbal missing emotion
- Use a 21 day no contact rule
- Build attraction through text messaging
- Make her miss you through phone calls
- Use the theory of misattribution
- Create a competition
- Set up a date
Let me start by saying that if any of this makes sense to you then you are a genius.
The infographic above isn’t meant to make sense. Though I promise you after you read this page it will. Every single step outlined above is a small stepping stone that will increase your chances of making your ex girlfriend miss you.
It’s my job to teach you how to get the most out of all those steps.
Now, I have written a lot of content for this site already so one of my greatest fears is repeating myself and not giving you enough valuable insight into how you can improve your situation. So, I am going to be doing my best to bring a fresh perspective throughout this guide.
However, if you sense that my stuff is too generic please make me aware of it in the comments section and I will do my best to improve my writing in the future.
Ok, enough of that. Lets dissect that infographic.
We have all been in relationships here so we all understand what it’s like to miss someone. What I would like to explore is what this emotion means and how you can use it to your advantage.
This may sound a little strange but I feel it is very accurate with how relationships work now-a-days.
In relationships I often look to get my significant other to say two things to me.
The first thing is,
“I love you.”
The second thing is,
“I miss you.”
If I can get my partner to say these things then I know I have made an amazing impact on their life and I like this fact. I love being wanted by someone. Obviously, since this is the guide on “missing” we are going to be focusing on what it means when your partner (or in this case, your ex girlfriend) says she misses you.
If a girl actually verbalizes that she misses you then it means that in that moment she is indeed probably missing you. Like I said above, I personally love hearing stuff like that. However, the problem with a girl verbalizing that she misses you is that she is talking specifically about that moment in time.
There is actually a more powerful “missing” emotion that women have that goes much deeper than when she says actually verbalizes that she misses you.
I like to call it the non verbal missing emotion.
What Is A Non Verbal Missing Emotion?
The non verbal missing emotion is something I made up based on my own experience with missing someone.
It is a little complicated to explain so it is probably best if I give you a live example.
Ok, lets pretend that I am dating a girl and I have really fallen for her. I am constantly thinking about her throughout the day. She is the first thought on my mind when I wake up and it literally feels like I am obsessed with her. Every time I text her I am constantly looking at my phone for a response. I would liken it to a drug addict looking for a fix.
Except my fix is her.
Whenever I am away from this girl I miss her on a deep level. I never actually verbalize this because it is almost too powerful to verbalize. I simply understand on this deep level that I miss her.
This is the non verbal missing emotion.
This type of missing emotion is much more powerful than someone saying a generic “I miss you” because while they do miss you it may not be on that deep level yet.
This leads us to an interesting question.
Isn’t it possible that NVME (Non Verbal Missing Emotion) is what causes people to say “I miss you?”
Yes, the NVME can cause people to say “I miss you.” I like to look at NVME as what comes before the “I miss you.”
Here is the interesting part about the non verbal emotion though, it is literally so powerful that it can’t be described with a simple “I miss you.”
This emotion literally never goes away until you are with that person and the second that you leave them the emotion lingers and doesn’t go away until you see them again.
Do you kind of understand?
NVME And Your Ex Girlfriend
We are talking about your ex girlfriend here. That means that probably at one point of your relationship with her she has already felt this non verbal missing emotion for you. Since the two of you are no longer together do you think she feels this level of “missing” for you?
I think that is an interesting question to dissect.
It really depends on the girl.
Some women get used to the routine of having a man in their life.
Let me give you an example.
Lets say that your ex girlfriend got used to the routine of texting you every morning and every night. Well, after the breakup this routine or habit was completely stripped away from her. She may go through this period where she misses you like crazy.
Have you ever heard of the universally cited “habit rule?”
Well, according to a study done by Maxwell Maltz, a cosmetic surgeon, it takes 21 days to form a new habit.
If we apply this information to what we already know about your ex girlfriends interrupted routine we can assume that after 21 days it is possible that she won’t miss you as much. So, it is up to you to do things during this 21 day period to make sure she misses you continuously.
If you do a good enough job you can cause that NVME to come back in a big way.
Of course, there will always be those girls out there that are ready to move on immediately after a breakup. For the men of this site these are probably the most challenging women to try to get back. These are also the type of women who you will have to work very hard to make miss you.
So, this begs the question,
How can you give a woman like this the NVME?
The thing you have to understand about women and relationships is that most of them aren’t very logical when it comes to their relationships. I am not saying this to be sexist or anything like that (I am probably more of a feminist than anyone you know.) No, I am saying this because it is the truth.
For example, we all know that couple that walks by you and makes you go,
“Why in the world is she with that loser?”
Well, the truth is that, that loser was able to make her feel something. He was able to tap into her emotions and make her choose him over any other guy out there.
This page is designed to do just that.
Forget about how hard you think it will be to make your ex girlfriend miss you for a moment. Forget about all the baggage you two have…
Let me break things down to their simplest form for you….
As long as you are able to tap into her emotions you have the ability to make her miss you. Now, that doesn’t necessarily mean you will get her back but it is a start.
A few sections ago I talked a little about the “habit rule” created in Maxwell Multz.
If you have a horrible memory then here is a quick refresher,
The Habit Rule- Studies have shown that it can take up to 21 days to form a new habit.
Now, there have been plenty of studies also refuting this habit rule but lets take a leap of faith and assume that it is correct. Generally speaking it isn’t that hard to make your ex girlfriend miss you if you know what you are doing. However, it is possible that if you wait too long to put your plan into effect her habits will change and she will have forced herself to not miss you as much.
Let me explain that a little bit better.
Lets say that your girlfriend broke up with you yesterday. Well, even if she broke up with you I guarantee you that she will be feeling some pain. As the days progress she discovers that she kind of misses you but she feels kind of bad about it since she was the one who broke up with you.
In fact, she feels so messed up that she tries to force herself not to miss you as much.
So, here we have a habit (her missing you) that your ex wants to change (to not missing you.)
If we assume that the 21 day habit rule is true (which we are assuming it is.) It would take 21 days for your ex girlfriend to not miss you anymore.
This means that during that 21 days it is up to you to do things that forces your ex to remember that she misses you.
This brings up an interesting question though.
Is it possible to make your girlfriend miss you if she has forced herself to move on from you via the habit rule?
I thought a lot about this predicament when I was researching the stuff on habits and I came to one simple conclusion.
It is very possible to make your ex girlfriend miss you after she has “moved on.” However, the percentages of making it happen drop drastically. Allow me to explain that.
So, right after a breakup your ex girlfriend will think of you constantly. However, eventually she is going to move on. She isn’t dumb. Your best bet of making her miss you is during that short time frame (21 days immediately after a breakup) where her mind is constantly on one thing, YOU!
While making her miss you after she has moved on is very possible the percentage of being able to pull it off drop.
Still a little confused?
Ok, I will speak to you like a caveman.
- First 21 days after a breakup = easier to make her miss you.
- Days 22+ after a breakup = harder to make her miss you.
The No Contact Rule Conflict
I want you to do me a favor.
I want you to go to Google and type in, “how to make your ex girlfriend miss you.”
After you do this you are going to be greeted with 10 organic results (on the first page) from my peers trying to teach you their own methods of making your ex miss you. I took the liberty of going through each of these results to see just how many of them recommended the no contact rule as a way of making a girlfriend miss you.
Oh, maybe before I move on I should briefly explain what the no contact rule is.
There are actually a lot of versions of the no contact rule out there. Each version is unique to the teacher teaching it. However, the one thing that all of us experts agree on is that the no contact rule is a period of time where you aren’t allowed to talk to your ex in any way.
For example, if your ex were to call you ten times in a row you wouldn’t be allowed to pick up on any one of her calls until the time period of the rule is completed. The same goes for texting or Facebooking. Any time you receive messages through these mediums you will not be allowed to respond until the time period is completed.
Lets talk a little bit about the time period now.
I did say that each no contact rule “expert” often has a different definition of what the no contact rule should be. Well, those differences often come in the form of how long the actual time period of the no contact rule is. For example, some ex girlfriend experts swear by a 90 day no contact rule while others will live and die by the 60 day no contact rule.
So, what is the correct time period of the no contact rule?
The answer is that it depends on your particular situation.
I have a lot of experience dealing with ex boyfriends and ex girlfriends since I run two websites dealing specifically in these situations. Experience has taught me that 60 – 90 day no contact rules are too long. Not to mention they give your ex girlfriend plenty of time to get over you and lower your chances for making her miss you.
On Ex Girlfriend Recovery I have pushed three different types of no contact rules,
- The 21 Day Rule
- The 30 Day Rule
- The 45 Day Rule
I know what you are thinking.
Which one is the best for me?
Well, unfortunately I can’t tell you. You are going to have to trust your gut on this one since you know your specific situation much more intimately than I ever could.
Of course, there is one thing I think you need to take into account if you want to maximize your chances of making your ex girlfriend miss you.
At the beginning of this section I talked about how I went to Google, typed in, “how to make your ex girlfriend miss you” and located all the results on the first page that talked about the no contact rule.
Of the 10 results on the first page, 7 experts talked about utilizing the no contact rule to make your ex girlfriend miss you. That’s a whopping 70% of experts who say that NC is essential for making a girlfriend miss you. Well, you can count me as another expert who thinks it’s a good idea.
Of course, I like to think that I try to be a bit more insightful than the average expert out there.
You see, when I was brainstorming for this page I realized that there is a bit of a dilemma that you can potentially face if you use the no contact rule.
Take a moment and re-read my thoughts on the “habit rule.”
(Gosh, so many rules are being thrown out there today, huh?)
With the habit rule I hypothesized that if your ex girlfriend wanted to she could potentially get over you in 21 days which will drastically decrease your chances of getting her back and making her miss you.
The real dilemma here is that sometimes the best way to make an ex girlfriend miss you is to ignore her for a little bit via the no contact rule.
This puts the two rules at odds with one another because if you are ignoring your ex aren’t you technically giving her time to get over you via the habit rule?
Therein lies the dilemma.
How can you make an ex girlfriend miss you if you aren’t even allowed to remind her that you are there (with NC?)
The Solution To The Dilemma
There is a bit of insight on the habit rule that I have held back on purpose.
I am sure that when you read about the habit rule you automatically assumed that immediately after a breakup the habit rule goes into effect. This is almost never the case.
Lets think about it from a woman’s perspective for a moment.
95% of women don’t immediately think, “I think I am going to stop trying to miss him,” right after a breakup. No, that point can sometimes come 10 – 30 days later. How do I know this? Look, I feel I can bring you a unique perspective that almost no other “get your ex back” expert can since I have dealt with so many women via Ex Boyfriend Recovery (the sister site to Ex Girlfriend Recovery.)
Trust me when I say that women don’t want to stop missing you until some time after the breakup.
However, that isn’t the solution to the dilemma I showed you above. While that knowledge is certainly interesting there is more we can do with it.
I showed you what I consider to be the three best timelines of the no contact rule. Well, if you are asking my opinion on which timeline you should choose to best maximize your chances of making your girlfriend miss you I would say that the 21 day no contact rule is ideal.
Now, while this would be incredibly rare and probably won’t happen in your situation lets assume the worst case scenario occurs and your ex girlfriend tries to break her habit of missing you immediately after the breakup. Of course, you want her to miss you more so you decide it would be a good idea to implement a 21 day no contact rule immediately after the breakup.
What are you supposed to do if she is trying to miss you and you aren’t able to contact her?
Well, the smartest thing you can do is to do things during NC that you know for a fact will remind her of you. The tricky part is that you have to do them without actually talking to her.
It just so happens that this is the next step of our plan!
What To Do During The No Contact Time Period
Before I get started I do want to point out that there is a lot more to “what to do during the no contact period” than what I am about to cover here.
The reason I won’t be going into all of the detail that the no contact rule requires is that I am just going to be focusing on what you can do during the no contact rule to make your ex miss you. If you would like more information on the full details of what you are supposed to be doing during the no contact rule I suggest you visit this page.
Alright, so let me set the stage here.
Right now lets pretend that you are in the midst of a 21 day freeze out with your ex girlfriend (the 21 day no contact rule.) It is your job to do subtle things during this time to remind your ex girlfriend that you are still out there.
Can you pick out the keyword in that sentence that I want you to live by?
If you guessed subtle then you just won a brand new car!!! (not really.)
Lets talk a little about the importance of being subtle using the first reminder method.
First Reminder Method – Facebook
I talked about this extensively in my guide about properly making your girlfriend jealous.
Now-a-days, we live in the social media age. I often make a funny joke to those closest to me that a relationship isn’t “official” until Facebook says it is. The joke is funny to people because it’s true. Facebook is at the top of the food chain when it comes to social media and we are going to use Facebook to our advantage.
I don’t know if you and your ex are still Facebook friends after the breakup but I sure hope you are. If you aren’t then don’t worry you can still use this stuff to your advantage. So, this section is worth reading no matter what.
It is a widely known fact that people often Facebook stalk their exes after a breakup.
88% of people to be exact (according to cnet.com.)
So, its not a stretch to assume that your ex girlfriend will be keeping an eye on your Facebook profile. Lets use this to your advantage.
I want you to be posting new pictures of your life every once in a while. These pictures need to be interesting and eye catching. If you are going on a trip somewhere soon don’t be afraid to post about it. I know it can be a little annoying to post pictures on Facebook but bear with me for a moment here.
Imagine you went on a vacation with your family and you happened to see swimming pools that looked like this,
I guarantee you if you posted something like that on Facebook your ex girlfriend would sit up and notice.
Heck, she may think something like,
“I was supposed to go on that trip with him…”
That one little thought can grow in her head and spark her NVME into overdrive.
Oh, and this doesn’t just work with generic pictures of your life. It can work on things like,
- Profile picture updates.
- Pictures of you out having fun with your friends.
- Pictures of you and a friend who happens to be a girl.
I want you to always remember that the chances are very high that your ex is looking at your profile. So, make sure you make it seem like your life is great. You want her to want to be right there next to you having fun. In other words, you want her to miss being with you 😉 .
Second Reminder Method – Her Best Friend
Women tend to be extremely social creatures.
For a long time I have peddled the theory that women had to make up for their lack of physicality by learning to be more social. One of the things I found very interesting about my other site, Ex Boyfriend Recovery, was the fact that the word of mouth was incredible.
I would get emails or comments every day from women saying something like,
“Wow, I can’t believe how insightful this website is. MY BEST FRIEND told me about this site and I am blown away by it.”
Women talk amongst each other and share everything.
You are going to use this knowledge to your advantage when you are trying to remind your ex girlfriend that you are still out there. I want you to go to your exes most trusted confidant, her best friend.
Because I guarantee you that, that best friend is going to go running to your ex girlfriend and give her all the precious little details of the interaction. So, if your ex girlfriend is trying to get over you as a result of the habit rule and her best friend comes running to her with something like,
“You’ll never believe who just texted me.”
She is going to have no choice but to think of you and as long as you are on her mind it will increase your chances of making her miss you.
So, this leads us to the ultimate question.
What do you talk about with her best friend?
I have found that the smartest way to approach this situation is to be a little vague and confusing. When your exes best friend reports back to her you want them to sit for hours dissecting everything trying to figure out why you even texted the best friend in the first place.
Oh, and when you add in the fact that you are doing the no contact rule it could make your ex feel a little upset that you ended up contacting her best friend as opposed to her.
Why is she upset?
BECAUSE SHE MISSES YOU!!
At this point it might be a good idea for me to explain how you can kind of be vague and confusing which will ultimately cause your ex and her best friend to dissect your discussion.
So, lets pretend that you decide that you are going to text your ex girlfriends best friend. Your goal here is to start off with a strong statement. Something like this should do,
Rather than dancing around the breakup you are going to make it front and center.
Because the best friend will probably say something about the breakup and this is exactly what you want to happen. Good or bad, whatever she says relating to the break up I want you to simply duck out of the conversation and not respond.
Because this will confuse her and she is going to go running to her best friend (your ex girlfriend) and they will try to dissect the following things,
- Why you chose to message the best friend.
- Why you chose to message the friend as opposed to your ex girlfriend.
- Why you haven’t responded yet.
- What you even wanted.
The more confused you can make your ex girlfriend the better because she will probably run to the internet and read a million advice columns trying to figure out what you were doing.
The underlying point I am trying to get at here is you are forcing her to think about you continuously thus interrupting her habit change.
3. Build Attraction Through Text Messages
(For more examples of text messages and other strategies check out my book, Ex Girlfriend Recovery PRO.)
Before I dive into this section lets do a quick recap of everything that is supposed to have occurred before this point.
- You need to be well aware that your ex girlfriend could have the 21 day “habit rule” in effect.
- You need to be aware of the conflict between the 21 day “habit rule” and the no contact rule.
- You need to be doing things during your no contact rule to constantly be on her mind (Facebook, Best Friend.)
Eventually your own no contact rule is going to come to an end and that is when you can start communicating with your ex to re-spark that non verbal missing emotion. Of course, I am always a fan of taking things slow as opposed to fast when it comes to stuff like this so I think the next step in the logical progression is to text with her a little bit first before you try to ask her out or call her.
This section is going to be dedicated to teaching you exactly what you can do through text messages to maximize your chances of making your girlfriend miss you.
I suppose the first thing I need to teach you has to do with patience.
Patient Text Messages
I have found that when you are talking to someone you are in love with (and make no mistake about it you are probably in love with your ex girlfriend still) it is very hard to remain patient.
The second that you receive a response to a text message from someone like this you probably want to respond to it within seconds. While this can be good for keeping a conversation fast paced the main goal we are trying to accomplish here isn’t being able to keep a conversation going quickly.
No, it’s to make your ex girlfriend miss you and that is going to require patience on your part when it comes to text messaging.
Lets say that you send your ex girlfriend a text message and she responds to it 5 minutes later. Well, if you respond to her response within a minute it isn’t giving her a lot of time to miss you is it? No, instead of thinking,
“I wonder if he is ignoring my text message?”
she will probably be thinking something like,
“Wow, he is really invested in this.”
Part of the allure of missing someone is wondering if they are missing you back. Well, if you are responding super quickly to text messages then that is a strong statement that you are missing her back and while that can be a nice feeling for some women, deep down most of them won’t be adding anything to their NVME.
What you kind of want to have happen is to take her on a roller coaster ride.
For example, lets say that you text your ex girlfriend and she responds within 5 minutes. Well, if you are patient and wait 25 minutes to respond she will be thinking a lot of thoughts during those initial 25 minutes.
- The first may be something like, “Thank god he texted me.”
- As some time passes she will be checking her phone wondering when you are going to text back.
- As more time passes she is going to be getting impatient that you haven’t texted back.
- After 20 minutes she will have convinced herself that you aren’t ever going to respond to her text.
- When you finally do respond she is going to be filled with joy.
Do you see how the roller coaster works?
Joy to Pain to Joy
The key underlying principle to achieving this roller coaster effect is by having the patience to spread your text messages out, to not be too available for her.
In other words, give her some time to miss you and worry that she will have lost you from the conversation.
What She Needs From You To Miss You
Now we are getting to the fun stuff.
In this section I am going to go over a few of the text messages that you can send to your ex girlfriend if you want to make her miss you.
The truth of the matter is that if you really want your ex girlfriend to miss you, you have to earn that right. You see, as much as the gurus out there want you to believe that there is a magic text message that you can send to suddenly open your exes heart the truth is, is that it is going to take a lot more than one text.
Rather, it is going to take a combination of many text messages to hit all the right emotional buttons.
Lets talk a little bit about the emotional buttons you need to hit for your ex to have the NVME and then work our way down from there,
- A woman needs to feel cared for.
- A woman needs to feel happy.
- A woman needs to be able to laugh.
- A woman needs to feel incomplete without you.
- A woman needs to feel sad (without you or course.)
I think you get the picture.
Really what I am trying to drive home here is that if you really want an ex girlfriend to miss you then you almost have to master her emotions. In other words, be able to take her on an emotional roller coaster that she will enjoy.
Sure, there are a lot of men out there that can make her laugh and probably make her very happy.
However, if you can drive her emotions absolutely wild (make her laugh, make her sad without you, make her happy, make her sad, make her feel cared for.) If you have the ability to do that, well, then no one is going to be able to compare to you.
An emotional roller coaster like that for a woman feels amazing. That’s what its like to feel “in love” and women love to be “in love.”
So, your goal when you text your ex girlfriend is to take her on a POSITIVE emotional roller coaster. Hit all of her emotional hot buttons.
How do you do that?
Well, I am glad you asked.
Emotional Roller Coaster Text Messages
In this section I am going to show you the exact type of text messages you should be sending to your ex to make her miss you.
Now, before I get started it is important for me to mention that I am focusing specifically on the type of messages that will make a girlfriend miss you. I am not following the strict protocols I put in place in my texting guide.
Ya, you know. Stuff like how to approach an ex after the no contact rule and how to space texts out.
If you don’t know any of that I suggest you read my texting guide before continuing on here.
Alrighty, now that we have that out of the way lets focus on some roller coaster messages. Lets start with something light that will make your ex girlfriend laugh.
The key to pulling this message off is that it has to be utterly ridiculous.
Seriously, the more ridiculous the funnier the reaction. Take my bigfoot story above for example. That is an absolutely ridiculous story but I bet you it makes a lot of girls laugh. Remember, all that matters here is that you want your ex girlfriend to be tapping into her emotions. In this case that emotion is the one that produces laughter.
Lets move on to something that might make her happy to hear.
This message kind of kills two birds with one stone.
It is obviously going to make your ex girlfriend happy that you are thinking about her and that you are still reading her “notes.” However, the compliment you said of her being “really sweet” is going to make her feel cared for.
Those are two very powerful emotions that you are touching and believe me that even if she doesn’t seem like it’s affecting her, it is.
This is one of the most challenging messages to pull off because our goal here really isn’t to make her sad. It’s to make her feel sad without you.
In other words, you have to find a way to make her feel that her life really sucks without you in it.
What is the best way to do that?
Well, it’s to take a risk and talk to her about something that will force her to want to care for you. Women are very maternal. They like to care for things. So, lets take a risk and see if she will care for you.
This is a bit of a risky message because it is a little sappy but if you have done a good job of giving her that roller coaster ride of course she is going to want to be there next to you and care for you.
If you can successfully make her feel like she wants to take care of you that is a very good sign because it means she wants you in her life.
Once again, you are tapping into her emotions and that is never a bad thing.
Jealousy can be a very powerful emotion and while it’s not absolutely perfect for making someone miss you it is perfect for the emotional roller coaster that leads to someone missing you.
The key to a successful jealousy message is to not be too obvious about it.
Take the message above as an example. Technically it is an innocent text message. There is nothing really controversial about it. The key to it though is that it lets your ex girlfriend do all the jealousy work. She begins to wonder about that Martha girl and takes another trip on the emotional roller coaster.
Miss You Message
This is the riskiest text message you can send.
Because you can either live by it or die by it.
Let me give you an example. Lets say that you send this text message to your ex girlfriend and she absolutely loves it. In fact, she loves it so much that it sparks an amazing conversation between the two of you for the next few hours.
(Your Living By It.)
Of course, there is always that chance that she can respond really negatively to you saying “I miss you” to her. Heck, there is always a chance that she may not even respond.
(Your Dying By It.)
So, by the time you actually send this text message make sure you know for a fact that your ex girlfriend is ready to hear it.
4. Making Her Miss You Through Phone Calls
You didn’t think your work stopped at text messages did you?
No, the truth is that talking to your ex on the phone can be one of the most effective ways to make her miss you.
I have been thinking a lot about how to explain this best and I think I figured it out.
When I have fallen for someone I always feel more when I talk on the phone as opposed to texting. Women are the same way. You can touch them on an emotional level so much easier when you talk on the phone as long as you play your cards right.
Therein lies the problem though, playing your cards right on the phone is extremely challenging.
Well, let me put it to you like this. If you have read this far down the page then one thing I know for a fact is that you want your ex girlfriend back really badly. That means that when you do finally advance to a point where you can talk to her on the phone and thing start going well you aren’t going to want to get off the phone.
Did you know that there is such a thing as overstaying your welcome when it comes to the delicacies of getting your ex back?
And trust me when I say that it is very easy to overstay your welcome on the phone.
The Graph Theory
Lets pretend for a moment that we outlined your entire phone conversation with your ex girlfriend on a graph.
This graph in particular,
Now, I understand that this graph is for financial analysis and not for talking to your ex on the phone but it actually illustrates the point I am trying to make perfectly so I chose it.
(Yes, I was too lazy to make my own graph go ahead and butcher me in the comments I don’t care.)
When you first talk to your ex on the phone it is going to feel amazing. The two of you will probably have a lot to talk about and it may almost feel like you two are dating again. She is answering all of your questions and you are answering all of hers. Both of you are laughing and it feels like old times.
Unfortunately, as I stated above, it is possible to wear out your welcome on the phone and with the pace and intensity that the two of you were going at, at the beginning of your conversation it is going to be impossible to maintain forever.
Eventually the conversation is going to hit a high point and slowly decline from there.
Look at the graph above.
Do you see the high point?
Well, that is where the conversation was at it’s best. The decline that comes after that is going to be slow but it signifies that the conversation won’t ever be as good as it was during the high point.
Your job is to find the high point of the conversation and end it there.
What will this do?
Well, it’s going to not only make both of you happy that you had an amazing conversation but it’s going to act like a drug that your ex constantly thinks about.
“Wow, that was an amazing conversation! I think I want to do that again.”
Continually ending the conversation at the high point is going to really tap into your ex girlfriends non verbal missing emotion and trust me when I say that things become much easier from here on out.
5. Utilize The Theory Of Misattribution
Are you familiar with the Illiad?
It’s an epic poem by Homer?
You ever see Troy with Brad Pitt?
If not, you are missing one of the most epic fights ever,
The story is one of the great epics of our history and there is one moment that is always remembered.
The trojan horse!
The Trojans and the Greeks had been fighting in an insane 10 year way. Not wanting to continue fighting in a war the Greeks decided to try something that hadn’t ever been attempted before.
They created a gigantic horse and hid a few of their most trusted men in it.
They also decided to pretend to sail away in defeat.
The horse was meant to be a gift to the Trojans.
Sounds a little fishy from the Trojans perspective, right?
Well, the idiots decided to pull the damn thing into their impenetrable city and then at night when everyone was asleep the greeks hiding in the horse came out and opened the gates to the army that had supposedly fled.
And that was the end of the great city of Troy.
So, why would I tell you this story and what does it have to do with making your ex girlfriend miss you?
What if I told you that I could teach you to do something similar to what the Greeks to the Trojans with your ex.
I could teach you to plant an idea in her head and have it grow to the point that she won’t only miss you but associate you with warm and fuzzy feelings.
Utilizing Misattribution Of Emotions
Yesterday I was on a coaching call with a client when a brilliant idea came to me.
What if you could get your ex girlfriend to do something so powerful that she would naturally place those powerful emotions on to you?
Sounds too good to be true?
Well, if you know me then you’d know that I am all about having research to back up my claims so I’d like to introduce you to something called the theory of misattribution,
Basically when human beings “get the feels” we tend to attach those emotions on to what makes the most sense to us.
In the videos case above it was the band making the music but this can be applied to all kinds of different scenarios.
Well, what I’d like to do is create a trojan horse utilizing the misattribution of emotions.
The Trojan horse
I don’t live near my family anymore.
My wife and I live quite a ways away so I only get to see them in person every once in a while. However, without a doubt I am happiest when I do get to see them.
I really miss them….
Anyways, last year my brother came to visit me and for the next three days we did nothing but go out to eat, watch movies, play games and acted like little kids.
Eventually my brother, god bless his soul, felt a little bad that I was footing the bill for our little spree so he wanted to get me something.
“Come on man, let me buy you a book.”
Now, initially I was thinking,
“That’s really nice but I am not going to read a book at all…”
Nevertheless, I wasn’t going to look a gift horse in the mouth and say no. So, he picked out a book and bought it for me.
That book was, Red Rising,
The premise sounded pretty cool but ultimately I knew I wasn’t going to read it.
So, it just sat on my bookshelf for months until I eventually got bored one day and said,
“What the hell, this book sounded interesting I’ll give it a try.”
15 pages into this thing I knew I was hooked.
I stayed up until 4 AM every night plowing through this thing.
Without spoiling anything it had such awesome moments like,
The book was epic!
And the crazy part is that even one year later every time I think about this book I think fondly of my brother.
Because he recommended it to me.
Now, I want you to take a moment and think about the act of reading a book.
Each time you turn a page you are making an investment into the story. The more and more invested you become the more likely you are to feel something.
Once you feel something that’s pretty much game over.
Can you imagine if you had your ex undergo this process?
Can you imagine if you recommended something to her that made her feel the way I felt about Red Rising?
Can you imagine what she would think of you then?
That’s my trojan horse!
A Quick Recap
- Recommend or buy a book that will give your ex “the feels”
- Find a way to subtly make sure she reads it
- Enjoy the benefits of theory of misattribution as she attributes her good feelings to you
6. Find A Way To Create Some Competition
A few weeks ago I had a success story call with a woman named Sophia.
It was a really unique call because typically when I have calls like these the person who got their ex back knows exactly what caused the success.
This particular woman admittedly told me before we started recording,
“Chris, I actually have no idea why he came back.”
To which I replied,
“Well, maybe we can figure it out together.”
So, when we started recording I noticed something fascinating about her situation.
From the point of the breakup she was doing horribly when it came to getting her ex back. She would make progress and then make a mistake which would set her back to square one.
She kept doing this dance for months until one specific incident occurred.
And once this incident occurred her progress started to really pick up to the point where she took a guy who literally told her,
“I want you to know we aren’t getting back together…”
“Ya… I didn’t really mean that when I said it.”
What is this incident that made this happen?
Well, her ex actually showed up to her house, unannounced and witnessed her on a date with another guy.
In other words, the second that her ex realized that he had competition his game started to pick up.
Have you ever heard of my sales theory before?
My Sales Theory
Sales theory is comprised of three concepts,
- Fear of Loss
Often you’ll find that when expert salesmen are trying to make a sale they will find a way to combine these three things.
Take a common sales tactic like,
“3 Day Sale””
There is a lot going on here.
That statement alone finds a way to hit on fear of loss, scarcity and urgency.
It implies that if you don’t act within three days you are going to lose out on the sale.
Fear of loss and urgency is implied here and once those are implied you begin to imagine a future where you show up late to the sale and everything is gone.
Ah, there’s scarcity!
So, how does this relate to my story of the interview with the woman above?
Well, the second her ex saw her with another man it tapped into his fear of loss which made him realize that if he didn’t act then sooner or later she will be taken (urgency and scarcity.)
Here is my point.
Sometimes the smartest thing you can do is find a way to create a competition by utilizing my sales theory.
7. Making Her Miss You On A Date
Seeing your ex girlfriend in person is an excellent way to make her miss you.
What do we know about missing so far?
Well, we know that there is a non verbal missing emotion that women have to have in order to miss a man on a deep level. We also know that the only time that this emotion can develop is actually when she is not around the man (or you in this case.) This is all pretty much common sense really.
However, it also highlights the fact that every moment you do spend with her in person is that much more important because what you do in that time is going to be a springboard for how powerful her NVME is.
The Key To Making Her Miss You On A Deep Level In Person
I want you to understand something.
What affects women on a deep level is often different than what affects us men. Look, any time we get intimately physical with a woman we feel a connection with them. Women are way more emotional than us and I am not talking about them crying or acting crazy during that time of the month.
No, I am talking about how the majority of them are looking for something deeper than a physical connection.
They want an EMOTIONAL connection.
So, lets say that you end up getting a date with your ex girlfriend. This is your opportunity to shine and you aren’t going to do it by immediately going in for the kiss, trying to cop a feel or go for the grand slam. No, what I want you to focus on is so much more than any of that.
The only thing I want you to touch is her organ between her ears.
Focus on creating an amazing emotional connection with her. Talk about interesting things, be confident, be happy but most importantly BE SMART.
If you really want her back take advantage of the fact that you have a better emotional connection with her than anyone she can think of. Seriously, after the date if she goes home and thinks,
“Wow, I don’t think I can feel the way I feel with him with anyone else.”
You better believe that she is going to miss you.
She is going to miss you like she has never missed anyone before.