What To Do When Your Ex Girlfriend Starts Dating A New Boyfriend

3,060 thoughts on “How To Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back If She Has A New Boyfriend”

Chris

August 22, 2016 at 11:00 pm

Hi there,

My story is a little messy but will be brief.

Me and my ex moved in together 3 months after we starting seeing each other. 6.5 years in and she wanted to move 2 doors down, at this time we were a little off she is on anti depressants and hadn’t been intimate with me for 12 months as a result. I stated I think it best I stay and we see each other still but with distance. This continued for 12 months and we still stayed over with each other regularly, went to weddings together and called, saw and messaged each other all day, nothing really changed at all, her love for me was always strong and I was her world still.

One night we were at the end of a night in our local pub and I was asking her to come home, she declined saying she wanted to stay out then made a weird action of jumping up to hug and kiss on the cheek good bye to one of my pub friends (who was wasted at the time we weren’t), we argued and I went home early. Next day she said she couldn’t see a future without me and we needed to talk, 1 day later again she ended up saying she couldn’t see a future right now but would love for us to be together again in the future, days later she drunkedly kissed my pub friend and he told me and said he was really sorry and couldn’t remember, she said it was just a drunk moment.

2 weeks passed where I showed my ex an engagement ring I had bought to show her I was ready to move forward and stated I needed a timeline for us to formally breakup or move forward, she waited 2 days and said for now we need to break up. 2 weeks passed and in this time while I was away she text me to say she had started to spend time with him and that she thought it best coming from her, since then she has arrived at the pub with him and been with him in a group of our shared friends with him being seen with his hand up her back stroking her.

I am 30 my ex is 35, this guy is 26 has no job, lives in his dads house, no driving licence for drink driving and spends most of his time drinking in the pub. I am really at this staged confused, this is obviously a rebound of sorts but it hurts so much that she lives 2 doors down, has done this with an ex friend of mine and its all happening in our town.

I started no contact from the day they came to the pub together after telling her noone respects what is happening and that she should remember what we had (he is the opposite to me, is a meat eater we’re vegetarians, he has dogs, she hates them and has cats etc etc) She hugged me asked if I missed her and told me she was lonely and it was just company she’s seeking, she’s not on the pill still so i doubt they have slept together but who knows.

I am nearly 1 week into no contact and have ignored a message from her wishing my mum a happy birthday and asking how we should skip her remaining things.

Could really do with an insight as to what is going on and what do do 🙁

EGR Team Member: Amor

August 26, 2016 at 7:07 am

Hi Chris,

he’s a dose of variety in her life.. just continue in no contact..improve yourself and heal..do no contact for 30 days and continue those activities while reconnecting with her
Chris

August 27, 2016 at 10:35 am

Hi Amor,

Unfortunately no contact was stopped as she messaged again asking for a belonging she needed and I had to reply, I have since been injured in sport and bed ridden for 3-4 days where she has been asking if i’m ok, she said she was sorry she couldn’t care for me anymore and I said it’s ok I do miss that though, she then said she thinks we tried for years and its best we are friends, I replied saying there is too much history, love and attraction for that to happen and time will give us clarity she then text back saying hope you get better soon i know what you mean.

Thing is that night whilst in bed I heard them both coming from the pub to hers, outside they chatted whilst he was again drunk and she really didn’t seem that interested in the conversation he was the only one talking really, could hear the occasional kiss on the lips then she said i’m going to bed and he proceeded to do his 4 mile walk home.

I guess this proves this is more attention, a bit of closeness and not much more?

I’m giving them space as noone around girls especially can see what she sees in him physically and mentally let alone is other short comings.

Do you really think space will lead her to see me again her best friend, her soul mate and partner for the last 7.5 years to be that special person again?
EGR Team Member: Amor

September 1, 2016 at 6:08 am

Yes, space creates mystery and then mystery creates desire

Jax

August 22, 2016 at 5:40 am

Hi there, I’m back again. Last time I commented, my ex had come back for a weekend from school 3000 miles away. We had been talking and getting along great but the second she came back, everything changed and she went back to her boyfriend and totally ghosted me. She went back to school and I went into 2 weeks no contact. She contacted me basically right as NC was ending so I responded. We texted lots and called on the phone regularly and built up a good rapport again with me offering emotional support and she didn’t mention anything ever about her new boyfriend. That was in the middle of July. A couple weeks ago, I figured we had built up enough rapport so I sent her a handwritten letter explaining my feelings for her still. She told me it was so nice she started crying. She then told me that she wasn’t really in love with this new guy and that her family still hates him and will never approve of him since they still love me. She did say that she values their opinion. Fast forward a week or so and we were talking again about how things are going and she told me that she wants to sit down and talk to me sometime and tell me everything that is going on with that situation. I asked if it meant that she made a decision to quit talking to me and she said it has nothing to do with that and she said we get along great and she wants to keep talking.
Another couple days go by and she changes her Facebook profile pic to just her from a pic of the two of them. Now we’re getting close to the time she is going to come home for a week for her school break. I asked if it was gonna be like last time and she apologized for the last time and said she will be busy with stuff but she does want to see me…although she doesn’t want to make anyone mad (i.e. Him).
She just came home on Saturday and the first thing she does is go to a wedding with him. Now today she’s being really grumpy with me for no reason and I found out that she is basically staying with him this week instead of with her family like she said she wanted to spend more time with this time. It is like the second she is back and sees him, everything changes.
I texted her today asking if she still wanted to talk and she said yes but not to rush things because she’s still not ready. I’m trying to set up a hang out just to catch up with her. She’s told me multiple times she doesn’t exactly know what she’s thinking or doing with this situation but I feel like she needs to examine every single option to see if things will work out with him before she finally cuts him loose. I told her tonight that it’s up to her if she really wants to see me and talk. I’m just waiting for a response. Any other advice would be great.

EGR Team Member: Amor

August 26, 2016 at 12:18 am

Hi Jax,

looks like the other guys knows how to do push pull theory.. anyways, did you talk?
Jax

September 5, 2016 at 5:22 am

We didn’t talk in person when she was home. We discussed a couple things while she was home and she spent a lot of time with her family. I did flat out tell her that I was sick of the run around all the time when she’s with him and that she really needs to make up her mind. I told her that if her choice was to be with him exclusively, to stop stalling and just tell me. She told me she couldn’t talk about that while she was home. She has been back in school for a week now and she has been texting me a lot more than usual, including a lot more personal stuff about what is going on with her life. She’s also told me that she’s been looking back on old pictures, watching shows her and I use to watch together and talking about our similar interests. I’m so cautious right now and don’t want to show too much interest and have her back off again. I’m hoping she decides she wants to talk about the situation and tells me soon.

Jess

August 19, 2016 at 4:31 pm

Well, I am back. I don’t know if you remember my story.. but to rewind it very shortly.. my gf broke up with me cause of another woman. That was January, they are still together.. Soo we had NC for like 6 weeks now, I texted her shorty, told her about an accident I had and we texted a bit. Weeell, I told her that I kinda want her back, but couldn’t do it.. I don’t know how to describe it and I said that I wanted to give a friendship a go. (BTW. She unblocked me, I was blocked, texted her from a friends phone)
Well, she doesnt want to have a friendship with me because she thinks I won’t be able to handle it..
Now she is ignoring my texts, even if they are platonic like hell, but has me unblocked and said that she doesnt want to block me again!
So I dont know what I am supposed to do! I really dont! i mean, hell, if she doesnt want to have to do anything with me, she should just block me again, hell.
And ofc, I want her back, but she doesnt need to know that this is the main goal if we have a friendship..
So any ideas?

EGR Team Member: Amor

August 25, 2016 at 8:15 pm

Hi Jess,

because she knows that you still want her back.. you have to show, not tell.
she has to see that you’ve really moved on

Ron

August 19, 2016 at 4:54 am

she broke up with me saying she had no feelings for me and she had bad memories. we dated for almost 3 years and were best friends for 3 years before that. now she is dating a guy 4 years elder than our age and they are in a long distance relationship and she seems to be more than happy wirh him. but i cant let go these 6 years of my life and i badly want her back. what do i do ?
i tried the nc rule but she aint responding well. whenever i ignore her she comes running to me. and whenever i try to rebuild friendship she ignores me.

EGR Team Member: Amor

August 25, 2016 at 8:05 pm

Hi Ron,

when did you break up, what do you do during and after nc and what texts do you send?

Zack

August 14, 2016 at 8:31 am

Hey

I was with my ex girlfriend/high school sweetheart off and on for over 9 years. We have a 9 year old daughter. We moved in together about 1 year and a half into the relationship after she got pregnant. Unfortunately, I cheated on her 1 year later with an old friend. She forgave me, but when she had suspicions of me talking to another girl months later (an old ex girlfriend that called me out the blue when my ex was present) she ended up talking to one of her coworkers. I found out by listening to one of their phone conversations. I was furious and yelled at her for lying to me. She said she wanted to get caught to get my attention and that she would never do that to me, that it was all talk. Out of anger I told her how great the girl I cheated on her with was from months ago which was obviously a stupid thing to say. I broke up with her and the next day, she admitted to sleeping with her coworker just hours before she told me. She cried and said she was sorry and that she only did it because she didn’t have the courage to leave me so she wanted to give me an excuse that would make it easier for me to want to move on. I felt emotionally destroyed. I still wanted to make things work out because I really loved her and so we got back together, but I just couldn’t truly forgive her. And the fact that she was still working with that guy was literally driving me insane. Alot of drama happened (Luckily the guy got suspended and let go from his job about a month later which literally saved his life but thats a different story). We ended up having a long distance relationship when I moved away for school. I was very paranoid of the thought of her cheating on me while I was away. I visited every weekend though and sometimes 1-2 weekdays per week. Then I took a quarter break and moved back in with her for a few months. I repeated this process for a while. About 2 years later I ended up cheating with a coworker just to feel empowered when I considered what my ex did to me since I just couldn’t let it go. My ex found out and was extremely angry but got over it fairly quickly. But I eventually stopped caring about being faithful for the dumbest reason. All the girls I had sex with I settled for which gave me some weird sense of low self esteem, and so I did not want to stop cheating until I finally had sex with a girl that I could be proud of as the very last time before I marry my ex. I know I should have just broke up with her out of respect if promiscuity is what I wanted, but at the same time I did not want to leave my ex over a girl that meant nothing to me. I guess I just had a twisted form of logic. Although the chemistry that I had with my ex was amazing, we had serious jealousy issues which caused so many problems. We broke up alot but still had sex. Then we’d get back together but barely notice the difference. We were basically just lying to each other about what we were, and I know it all had to do with finding a loophole for me to mess around while my ex could still rationalize with keeping me around like that. She was basically waiting for me to get serious and yet I still behaved so selfishly. Then I caught her talking to someone online which she immediately stopped doing. While we were together again she went through my phone and caught me talking to other girls who knows how many times. The final straw was when my ex read some text messages that resembled a romantic relationship with some girl I met online. Me and this other girl were not together but we did flirt alot. Me and my ex continued to see each other, but not long after I was caught, I went through her phone and saw that she was also talking to someone else. I was very angry at her but this time, she left me for good. I begged and pleaded but she gave up on me. At first she said it was just a friend but they quickly started dating and he moved into her apartment just a few weeks later. I tried very hard to get her back. I texted everything I could think of to express my love to her, I tried the no contact rule at least 2-3 times but I would eventually come off too strong with my feelings which would mess everything up. I bought her gifts, flowers, I wrote her letters and poetry, I even tried to sing to her a song I wrote on guitar (and I don’t even sing or play guitar) but she avoided me. I see pictures on facebook of her, the new boyfriend and my daughter as if they’re a happy family. It really messes me up inside. All of these games that I played was not worth losing my family over. What started off as her rebound relationship is now a serious relationship since they’ve been together for 2 years and a half now. I even read on fb that her boyfriend calls her his wife now. I don’t believe they are married because I haven’t seen any pics or announcements to support this but still, the fact that he’s comfortable enough to claim that says alot. As far as my daughter goes, my ex will rarely let me see or talk to her on the phone. I fought for visitation rights which was working out at first but the stipulations that I agreed on became a loophole that screwed me in the end. She put me on child support more than 2 years ago even though I was willing to give her money no matter what. That situation just barely got resolved. My finances were really bad at one point when so many other things happened to me at once. Ultimately, when it comes to my ex I know I messed up, I know I was wrong, but one thing I know with all my heart is that no one can love that woman more than me. No matter what negative thing she throws at me, I just can’t stop loving that woman. I tried to talk to other girls but it just doesn’t feel right. I hope its not too late to get her back. I learned my lesson in the worst way and I just want her to know that I miss her and my daughter so dearly. I haven’t called or texted my ex for over 2 weeks. Last time she texted me was on the 4th of July when I asked how my daughter’s doing in which she texted, “fine”. I feel like I’ve said everything I could have possibly said. I’m officially stuck and don’t know what to do. I feel so bad. Do you have any advice please?

EGR Team Member: Amor

August 25, 2016 at 12:16 pm

HI Zack,
do you get to visit or go out with your daughter personally? When you do that, does she come along too?

Karijade

August 13, 2016 at 12:09 am

My situation is quite on this topic except that my exgirlfriend goes back to her old boyfriend by 5 years They are LDR right now, because of her bf’s job as a seaman. Clealy I’m the new guy or the rebound if you may notice.

A bit of back story 3 months before we got into the relation, back when were so called friends with benefits. I know 3 months before we became friend they broke up by her bf now. She is young and sexy. I’m 34 but I have a disability (mild cerebral palsy, disturb walking and talking), she’s 24. She wanted us to be more than friends despite of my disability. She told me her ex at that time, treats her like a queen and she was somewhat a spoiled. Well, I’m not going that route because, of my past relationships I got burned by putting a “woman on top of the pedestal.”. She said that she enjoys having sex w/ me more than her ex she said. Maybe because despite of my disability, I’m quite a good looking and athletic, gym built stamina. I really didn’t spoiled her by gifts or buy her what she wanted. I acted like her emotional support.

Bragging aside, but being spoiled by her ex. She broke up with me after 3 months and goes back to him when he finally got home. She told me she like being a Princess, and women must be treated as queens. Funny, right? Well, I applied NC for 10 days and restarted it for more 21 days why I restarted. Because during the 10 day, she contacted me because she wanted to return something, she borrowed. Just the business we met and I go home. Funny, she contacted me after and told me I slimmer (like the author said when you need to meet, be a change man) Time passed during by 21 days, she contacted me 3x in facebook but I didn’t replied. The n on 22nd day, I contacted her. She wanted me to hang out, but I refused. After a week, I contacted her again. We HOOK UP, sex was great that night. BUT she is still with her boyfriend who is out in the sea again.

She is sending me mixed signals. Seducing me, teasing me. But I presumed she friend zoned me. But its quite insulting when we are together she talks mainly of her boyfriend and what gifts he send.

I been reading your site I applied it what’s fits the bill in my current situation during my struggle.. thank you, and moe power to your site.

EGR Team Member: Amor

August 24, 2016 at 9:26 pm

Hi Karijade,

I dont like what her actions show.. it looks like she’s using you as physical replacement with her bf..
KariJade

September 24, 2016 at 2:29 am

I really thought that my situation wouldn’t been post and I didn’t got a reply. BUT I REALLY APPRECIATE THIS!

Anyway, here’s the update. I forgot to mention that I was blocked and unfriend by her after the break up on facebook but reverse it when she contacted me before the hook up thing happened

Amor, I really doesn’t like it either. After the I posted, I immediately 21 NC again. but she contacted me a little bit early on the deadline in facebook by a bad news that her phone was stolen, got pick pocketed. But, replied after a half day. She said She was with her bf walking (so now they were together). I’m in dark because I’m not spying on her profile, it is quite confusing. BUT somehow they were together when that happened. She was really upset. I don’t know if she got upset with her man not watching her back. I was told her bf was laughing at her after the incident. I was calm but wow. I told her that I’m glad it was just a phone and nothing terrible happened to her and her bf.

She just ask me how am I doing and do you have gf . I told her I was busy in the gym ( if she is looking at her notification she knows it). She responded “you are so predictable, I know you will tell that.” I done NC again. But now she block me from messaging her. I don’t why but i have the assume it because of my being not tech savvy in a new phone. I accidentally miscalled her, several times in facebook, I don’t know if it ringed or not. Maybe that’s it.

Thinking, She block me after the break up, added again, still she keeps me on her facebook. I still don’t know if the authors strategies are working right for her. But I think I’m doing well, improving myself. I want those abs. I’m becoming more attractive to women on the gym, hahaha (But most of them are moms, shame). Bragging as side. Abs are hard to achieve. But I’m obviously overweight when we first dated. I even more fitter now after she last saw me a month ago. If she is keeping an eye of me on facebook she knows it because my friends take a lot of pictures tagging me and I was taking a lot of pictures too.

Regards to you and the author.

Chris breeze

August 8, 2016 at 9:42 pm

So i was with my girlfriend for 6 years, lived together 4 3. She was madly in love with me, i loved her but took her for granted. She used to get real jeallous with rage. She always thort i was to good for her. We had terrible arguments and decided to move out but try and continue out relationship. It never worked, she broke up with me. Said she didnt feel wat she uses to and couldn’t trust me and that im moving to slow 4 what she wanted b4 ie marriage kids
A month later she told me she was with someone else. I was gutted, we spoke 4 7 hours the 1 night i got told and told her i wanted all the things she wanted now etc, i think she like it but her new guy had just introduced her to his kid which was a emotional strain especially that the childs mom had died. Tragic i know. So me knowin my ex like i do, i know that means something big to her. Then i get a text basically askin how i was and that she missed me. I said the same, we went away the nxt day, real nice day, had sex in the car etc. Then i text her holiday photos if where i would like to take her etc. Lookin back i shudd just been more calm and did NC. Then we had an argument that weekend and she said we would ever work. I was gutted again sent messages the usual stuff. Then we went out on my bday, and got into sn argument because she wanted to see a pic of the girl i was kinda seein, and i showed on and the bird was glammed up. I then went to devon with work colleagues came back after 3 days, asked to meet up. We met up, then 4 a gud 3 weeks we was meetin up 2 to 3 nights a week. Then we had an argument on the sunday as i was bein a bit to touchy feely in a place where she might get caught. I prob was but tbf we had sex in my bed prev week. So then she said we kinda need to tone it down and move on with our lives. So i did, told her i care and wanted to be there etc but enjoy ur life. Then i met her this week after a week of not seein her, i told her i got a girl who wants more but i just wanna be friends etc and i came across just happy and content, i dropped her off her she sent me messages sayin she missed me and was upset how everythings turned out. Then the next day she text me to see wat i was up to. I met her she invited me into her moms house while she was asleep we watched a movie and had sex again. Then i didnt speak to her the next day but did the day after. We met up came to mine, we chilled, it was late so we was both tired, did the whole hugging and little kisses eyc
etc. Dropped her off but showed sadness that i didnt wanna sho cuz she was goin on holiday with her fam today and I’ll miss her. But i wish i played it a little cooler tbh. Now shes away today i havent text her and aint sure weather i shud at somepoint or not or shall i still make her feel im happy doin my own thing etc

EGR Team Member: Amor

August 22, 2016 at 6:51 pm

Hi Chris Breeze,

how are you now? Is she still with the other guy?

Don

August 6, 2016 at 3:20 pm

I just broke up with my girlfriend. We still keep in contact for awhile after breaking up. But right now she wouldnt talk to me like she dont reply me or doesnt bother to continue the conversation. We broke because she say her feeling faded but was seeing someone else after we broke up. I did not do the no contact rule yet. How do i get her back ? I really love her

EGR Team Member: Amor

August 6, 2016 at 9:27 pm

Hi Don,

you said you didn’t no contact yet, are you going to do it now?
Don

August 7, 2016 at 1:40 am

Yes i might be doing a 21 days. But she did say she wont be getting back with me no matter what.:(
Don

August 7, 2016 at 10:33 am

She left me because she say her feeling faded and wanted to give the guy a chance. Is it still worth it to get her back ?
EGR Team Member: Amor

August 8, 2016 at 4:36 pm

Make her want to come back with you.. Influence the way she thinks by forgetting the past relationship.. improve yourself.. I think you need to do at least 30 days.. and then just focus in yourself and then slowly reconnect with her.. she has to think you’re moving on so she would be open on starting as friends again.
Don

August 9, 2016 at 12:48 am

Should i start now or later ? Cause i would be going for training at sep for 35 days where communication is impossible. Should i start when i go oversea or now ?
EGR Team Member: Amor

August 22, 2016 at 7:13 pm

sorry for the late reply don. how’s the situation now?

Elliot

August 4, 2016 at 11:46 pm

It’s me again my ex just messaged me asking if hanging out the other night was to much for me because I normally message her back… Idk what to do I don’t want to lose any future contact with her or any chance to be with her because I’m ignoring her what do I do?

Elliot

August 5, 2016 at 2:03 am

I broke the no contact rule by telling her my phone is messed up she read it and didn’t respond what do I do?
EGR Team Member: Amor

August 6, 2016 at 7:55 pm

Hi Elliot,

actually I think it’s too early to do no contact.. but honestly, I do see you using it if you can’t make her fall for you again by slowly rebuilding rapport and attraction now..

Subham

August 4, 2016 at 5:23 pm

She is talking to that person from more then 2 months ..is this a rebound? She tells it’s so much fun to be with him!plz help me to get her back

EGR Team Member: Amor

August 6, 2016 at 7:57 pm

nope, it looks like a grass is greener case.. try out what Chris advised above

Elliot

August 4, 2016 at 4:43 pm

Hello my name is Elliot and I really could use some help… I’ve known my ex for over 4 years in that time we’ve dated briefly a couple times fought when we weren’t together but always made up and we’re friends… Then last year we finally got it down and dated for 5 months never fought never had a problem in the relationship other than seeing each other since we were in a long distance relationship but I screwed up and broke up with her (regret it to this day) we fought after the break up I kept texting her and got to pushy she blocked me but every once in awhile we would text each other or hang out she dated a few guys with in that time… She’s been dating her boyfriend she has now for over 8 months now and he’s been in basic training for the marines for a month now and still has 2 months left and a couple days ago she reached out to me and we talked for a bit then she said we should hang out so we did we ended up driving around in my truck for 4 hours or more and just talking about a lot of stuff like what we’ve been up to what we plan to do she talked about her boyfriend some and asked if I had been takin to any girls or if I just gave up I told her no (i didn’t tell her the night before I went on a date with another girl but I didn’t see it working out) stuff like that then the next day she messaged me a bit and we talked a little then I found this cite and I’m tryin the NC rule for the past 3 days and what I’m wondering is if I’m doing everything right so far? Have I screwed up big time? Or am I just totally screwed in general?
Subham

August 3, 2016 at 1:55 am

Plzz help .. its been 4 months since we breakup .me and my ex where dating for more than 3years .at first it was gud we use to fight and then come back .. then last year I moved into another city. The fights between us increase. So I broke up with her. Then things went wort. She came behind me . But then she stopped. When I realized how much I love her I begged her to come back . But she said she moved on and hates me. She tells new bf treats her so well .she moved on after 2 months of breakup. And they are dating for 2 months . I have tried the no contact but she txt or call me in every 10-12 days and I break into tears and start begging again . Can the no contact still work?if yes how long ? Or I should try to be frnds? And is this a rebound or something serious is going on?plz help

EGR Team Member: Amor

August 4, 2016 at 3:09 pm

Hi Subham,

i think you should try one last no contact because being friends with her will most likely put you in the friendzone.. do 45 days and stick to it and just focus in improving yourself

John Reed

August 1, 2016 at 1:34 am

OK, EGR the truth hurts….

…but I want your honest opinion. My Ex and I just broke up last week. I’ll try to give you a brief rundown. We dated for a year and during that period we had a couple brief breakups ( all of them her deduction) but she always came back. During one of which she dated someone else for about a month before she came back to me.

She is very hard to please, she craves attention and feeds off it. She is very self centered and her ego is huge. She loves to post provocative pics online to get comments from random people (men and women) which only feeds her ego. She can be manipulative and controlling and she knows this. She feels bad for the way she treats me at times, yet this is who she is and she has difficulty changing or controlling it. I’m telling you this so you can better understand her and thus, see the situation a bit more clearly.
Most everyone reading this is probably thinking, ” why on earth would you want some one who treats you so poorly ? ” And the fact is, I don’t. Nobody wants to be treated poorly. But for whatever reason, I love her unconditionally. I knew who she was when we met and I am madly in love. Nothing can seem to change that. So…..

. We have been experiencing some bumps in our relationship over the last month. Admittedly I was the root cause. I fell on hard times. I was hit by a car while riding my bike, which caused me to rack up medical debt. Had to cut back my work hours due to injury, and this led to me becoming quite depressed. I adopted this ” feel sorry for me, pitiful, boohoo” mentality. And it became difficult for her to want to be around me because I was always so down in the dumps. I was agitated all the time and very emotional. I also began abusing the pain meds I was prescribed for the accident. Which only made things worse.

Two weeks ago she started a second job, and thru one of her co-workers, she met a new “friend”. Our fighting got worse and we took a break but continued talking and sleeping together, though we were no longer official. A few nights ago I had that gut feeling you get when you know your partner is up to something. I asked her if there was someone else, she said no, of course. I went to her house only to find out there was someone else. And basically my world fell apart.
She was quite open and admitted that she had been seeing this guy for about a week or two. When we split he was there to comfort her and one thing led to another. She said that this last month she has been confused about how she felt about me. Obviously i had become needy, and depressed and gloomy. I wasn’t the strong confident man she fell for. But she felt so bad for me that she couldnt leave me. Then she let herself become involved with this guy, she convinced herself they were just friends but after they had hung out 4 or 5 times she realised they had passed that point. She said they had not had sex, but they had been intimate, and bottom line is she shared parts of herself that I thought were reserved for me. Whether we were official or not. And she lied when I asked about it.

She apologized but asked me to leave. And this is were it gets bad EGR. I had a major melt down. I really lost my cool. I was yelling , screaming , I thru a glass against the wall, called her every name in the book… ugh. It was awful. I was so ugly. I’m ashamed of myself. That was 5 days ago and ever since then she has not spoken to me or returned any of my attempts to reach out. I made the mistake of calling, texting and even sent an email. All of them loaded with the “donts” I begged. Cried. Pleaded. I apologized for my actions. Everything. If I wasn’t already appearing sad, lonely and pathetic,. Well I certainly am now.

Today has been the first 24 hours of no contact. I don’t know how serious she is with the new guy. I know I have to remain without contact for as long as possible if I ever want her back. Which most of your will probably say is not a good idea. But idk what to say other than I love her I care for her and we had a connection unlike any we have ever had. We were best friends. And I treated her better than she had ever been treated..

EGR what are your thoughts. What should I do and what do my odds look like to you. I know my identity had become that of a weak and sorrowful person, which most def caused her to lose attraction on a subconscious level. Which led to her open to meet someone else. I am going to change that identity back to that of a strong confident man during the NC period. Any other advice ?

Please help.

John

EGR Team Member: Amor

August 2, 2016 at 10:27 am

Hi John,

you should do at least 45 days.. and that’s right you should focus on yourself.. she has to think you’re not going to chase anymore

Regreg008

July 29, 2016 at 8:07 am

Hi,

Me and my ex broke up around 2 months ago (I’m the one who initiated the breakup). For around 2 weeks after the breakup, she still messages me about random stuff and wanting to get back together. After that, she just suddenly stopped. A week after, I found out that she and another common friend of ours are getting close to each other (and it seems like they’re dating now) and my emotions just burst out. I called, messaged, bugged her for a few days (yes, I was desperate and that was really stupid). I proceeded to No Contact afterwards because I’ve read online on what I should do. I also made quite a few positive changes to myself like dieting and a few new hobbies.

It’s now around the 3rd week of NC and I’m planning to talk to her soon through a text message. I don’t know how would I start the first contact again with her. What should I say? What should I avoid talking about? What should I do to at least become friends with her again?

Thanks in advance to anyone who will reply.

EGR Team Member: Amor

July 31, 2016 at 11:34 pm

Hi Regreg008,

use a topic that she always loves talking about.. and no to any negative or heavy talk

Corey

July 29, 2016 at 2:55 am

Hello, my ex gf has a new bf and she keeps trying to contact me to be friends. Why does she try so hard to keep contact? She seems happy with her new bf but so it doesnt make sense talking to me. It has been 7 months since we last slept together and ended everything.

Sincerely, Corey

EGR Team Member: Amor

July 31, 2016 at 11:27 pm

hmm.. there’s a possibility that she wants to keep you as an option
Corey

August 6, 2016 at 6:03 pm

You read my mind, the actions behind that sounded like wanting me as an option. She only contacts me once and a while now after I told her I don’t talk with an ex that has a BF out of respect. When she does contact me I am very vague and dont say much to keep conversation

Mr. Guy

July 25, 2016 at 9:31 pm

My situation is a little tricky tbh. So my ex is dating a new guy. I’m fairly certain my ex wants to be with me, but I won’t be in the same country as her for another few months. We talk on the phone and she always wants to talk to me again, however being long-distance does make me nervous. I’m not sure how long she’s been dating this guy, but she flirted with me pretty hard about a month ago. We’ve always had a very physical relationship and that’s where distance just kills me. I do honestly love her and miss her, but I feel like if she dates this guy for a few months I might be in bad shape.

EGR Team Member: Amor

July 30, 2016 at 6:33 am

Hi Mr Guy,

so, she’s using the guy as rebound? try what Chris advised and then be present by texting her after nc

RoyPorter

July 25, 2016 at 3:26 am

To give the facts,

We were together 5 years. During those 5 years we adored each other. We would often talk about how lucky we were to have found each other. We virtually never fought. She would frequently tell me that I meant the world to her, and I would tell her how precious she was to me.

She got upset that we were not moving forwards. Understandable. I wasn’t good at doing things like giving gifts on time, but I always worked to make time for her. But then, it was over. Dropped it like a bomb. Never saw it coming. I thought she had felt uneasy for a time, but nothing we couldn’t talk about.

For about a month, I called every third day or so. I drastically altered my habits for the better, lost a lot of weight and got a better job. On the second month, she started calling me to go out on dates with me. We would make out on some of those dates.

Then, crash. She is “in a relationship” with another man, after two months, and after I thought things had been getting better.

I broke social media contact with her, her family, and her friends (except some whom I was fond of). I am very deeply hurt at having lost someone whom I thought was my best friend and partner, through thick and thin.

EGR Team Member: Amor

July 25, 2016 at 6:06 am

Hi Roy Porter,

do no contact for 30 days and just keep on improving yourself

Mike

July 17, 2016 at 7:47 am

Hi.
My girlfriend and I broke up a little over two months ago. I tries everything to win her back, but nothing seemed to work. Then I found out that she’s been dating someone else almost immediately after we broke up. And no it looks like things are getting pretty serious very fast, they are so open and public with their relationship too.
Last week we agreed to be friends, so we still talked and she asked me to help with some stuff. So I had my hopes up, but last night I had a moment of weakness after accidentally seeing pictures of them together. So we had a talk and almost an argument, she suggested that we stopped all contact cause she felt that we weren’t ready to be friends yet. I feel like I blew any chances I had with her… But I still want her back. What should I do?

EGR Team Member: Amor

July 24, 2016 at 6:00 am

Hi Mike,

perfect time to start being in no contact.. are you now?

Christian

July 14, 2016 at 7:22 am

Hey….I need some help Im interested in purchasing a book but I don’t know which one to get honestly lol but here is my situation My girlfriend and I have been dating for 7 months now…and I deeply fell in love with her…to the point where I made her my everything…Of course reading a few other books I now realize thats where I messed up on…I had nice guy syndrome I put her on a pedestal bought her plenty of gifts I made her the center of my happiness…so within 6 months she moved in with me for a couple of months before she went on to her new job…we had little fights but in the end we made up before her new job…She works at a camp counselor so she was gone around 5-7 days at a time and coming home for a day or two…it was fine she was telling me all her stories. She doesn’t have a car so I would drive her and pick her up for all her sessions I made sure I had time to do it no matter how late..she began telling me that she was the prettiest one there, that guys liked her, and such I never thought much of it I trusted her and she knew I would be devastated if she cheated on me….as the month went on she decided to hangout with her friends there and go camping exploring so I told her to go for it and I would post pone my plans…soon she never wanted to come home…she met a guy there, she told me not worry about him…throughout the month I felt lonely and had a depression attack and tried to commit suicide thank the lord it didnt work and Im fine now Ive been taking therapy classes and such…for awhile she wanted to break up with me but she didnt because she worried about my safety pretty soon she just told me its over and within a week she came over and we had a talk to end things civil (Not my choice I didnt want to break up) but she told me she was dating tom now and told me how he pushes her to her limits, they argue, basically a man I wasn’t with her…she spent the night twice however because a lot of her stuff is still at my house which I agreed it is fine to keep her until school starts where she would be moving out…During the month she was at camp it was hard to text her because she only had service like once a day so thats where I knew we lost connection and she connected with this guy….she told me she didnt see us romantic anymore but she still cares for me…like I said Im not suicidal anymore but Im scared that she’s only saying that cuz she fears my safety rather really meaning it…she even left me a not saying “Im content on how things ended, Im always here for you lav ya” Dated it and everything…she told me she wants to try this guy out and she enjoys everything about him he even got her a internship he seems like the better version of me in every way shape and form…literally this is all happening within a month we’ve only been officially broken up for about 14 days….at first I poured out heart to her and she gladly listened…she said she still wants to be friends again and said maybe when the semester starts we can try again…like I said Im not sure if she really means it….good news is that this guys is going back to school at the end of summer to the east coat (I live on the westside) but she told me she wants to try a long distance relationship with him….bad news is that he may transfer to our school and he does fly to the west coast every couple of months…he is rich takes her out on expensive dinners like I wish I could do that but Im a poor college student yet this kid is my age and is able to do it….I don’t know what to do…I have anxiety all the time because I do miss her…I started going to a boxing gym everyday to gain confidence and combat my anxiety but still Im scared that she may never come back…so this is why I am here…Everybook I read said as a man you should get what you want and I want her and Im willing fight and give her everything I have for her…This girl is the love of my life and I need advice…the last time I spoke to her was on the 12th and now she is on vacation with her family for 10 days….shes coming back to my house after to get a few things then leave I’m unsure if she is staying over…when we did talk to end things she even slept in the same bed as me but of course we didnt cuddle and gave each other space… we did that two nights in a row and she told me her current boyfriend doesn’t know she comes to my house…she tells me he is very jealous so I don’t know I have hope but the fear of it never coming true scares me this is why I need your help what do I do?? I want my love back..

EGR Team Member: Amor

July 15, 2016 at 5:09 am

hi Christian,

you should start with yourself first..stop comparing yourself to him and then degrading yourself.. if that’s how you would like it, the only good thing I can make out of your comparison is it makes your ex appear less of a worthy girl because she’s superficial.. it’s like she has less substance for choosing him for the reasons you said..focus in improving yourself, having a new routine,.meeting new people and dating others

Steven

July 14, 2016 at 3:37 am

I am 21 years old in college and my ex and I broke up in December 2015. My ex and I broke up after our 3 year relationship due to stress, as well as the fact that she didn’t think that we could grow together as a couple. I didn’t really fight for the relationship because I suspected that she might have cheated me one night a week or two before the breakup. (Our relationship was always much more fun while we weren’t in school because of the lower levels of stress)

We go to the same college so we thought it might be easier for us both if we became friends with benefits, which was her suggestion at the time. I basically misunderstood some of the signals she was sending me during that time and I ended up exploding during a texting conversation one night in May.

I spent 40 days of not talking to her after I blew up. I blocked her number and removed her from my social media. Recently, I have discovered that I still love her. I texted her last month to just catch up and the conversation was pleasant and she seemed engage and willing to communicate with me. About a week ago she came over to get some of the stuff she had left at my place, and when she came over we ended up talking for about an hour and a half. It felt like conversations we used to have while we were in a relationship.

I was just told by one of my friends that she is seeing another guy. I don’t know if they are dating or not. My friend saw him at her house like a month ago but she told him not to tell me about it. I am pretty confused about what I am supposed to do going forward. I don’t want letting her go be something I regret later in life. Any advice that you could give me will be appreciated very much.

Thanks,
Steven

EGR Team Member: Amor

July 15, 2016 at 4:55 am

Hi Steven,

if she doesn’t want you to know, that’s good.. continue to build rapport with her slowly

Ahmed

July 12, 2016 at 2:33 pm

so I am not really good at this (explaining). we were together for about two years, we broke up a year and a half ago because she cheated on me after she moved to a new country. our relationship was kept a secret the entire time, it was just closed places due to community restrictions where I live, that’s not the case though.
what happened is that we planned to be together after separating with her husband, and she left the country to start a new life, and wanted me to come along, however I had unfinished business back home, things started to cool down, less talking, less texting, less skyping. then suddenly on new years eve she told me that she wants to end it, after a long talk I got her to say why, and she told me that she cheated on me… I lost it and ended the whole thing, we got back together after she told me she made a big mistake, then she wouldn’t end the friendship she had with the guy she cheated on me with, and that drove me crazy.. her new BF facebook messaged me and threatened a lot of shit, we went back and forth then the whole thing got me pissed, so I ended it the whole thing and blocked both of them, ever since my life has been shit, most of the things in my plan got fucked and I have been hung up on this for the past year, not being able to meet anyone new, or finish anything that I start, I don’t know what I am doing with my life right now, and all my plans seem to be pointless without her since she was my everything.. that’s the tip of the ice-burg, can you help?

EGR Team Member: Amor

July 13, 2016 at 9:44 am

Hi Ahmed,

do you want to try to start active no contact?

Aaron

July 11, 2016 at 6:46 am

Hi, i have been dating a woman for 3 and a half years. over the time i accepted becoming the father of her two sons. when i had met them the youngest was 3 months and the eldest a year and 3 months. the father is actually out of the picture due to him being not the best person in the world. over the years we were together my ex would not really like me having any friends that were girls and didnt really like me going out at all. i would offer to have her come with me but she would say that she didnt want to leave the kids alone. over time she had some breakdowns asking me to find someone “whole” as she was in a traumatic life changing tragedy. she had not finished her full therapy so she had some problems at times. i would always comfort her telling her im here for her and nobody else. and we would be good. we ended up talking about marriage because i grew very close to the family and i love and care for the boys like my own. i consider them my sons.. well. in january she had a random moment when she broke up with me telling me that she couldnt love me how i loved her and that she needed time to find herself and love herself. and she was also looking for therapy at that point.. i made a fighting effort to keep my family together and i moved in with her.. it ended up working out for a few months until june 6th when we broke up again. this time she would first tell me that she didnt love me like i loved her.. that she loved me like a best friend. i would continue to fight it for the week that i was there until i moved out.. over that week i continued to tell her i knew she had love for me and she told me after a while that it had to do with january and the fact that i had lied to her about getting out of work late.. i actually took a good friends sister home that i grew up with to pick up her son that lived a couple of miles down a country road. during the winter it gets foggy and i was worried for her.. so anyways she told me she hadnt forgiven me. after a few days within the first week she started to get irritated of my begging and crying and i couldnt stop.. i was fighting for my family that i loved.. i finally had to move out. but i still was trying to keep contact and tell her that i cared and wanted to be around.. i come to find out she was talking to a guy from her gym and she told me it wasnt serious. that she honestly just wants to be alone. that she does have a crush on him but she didnt see herself being with him because shes not a whole person and she didnt want anyone. i accepted it as it was since we broke up but i told her i still loved her. and weirdly enough i told her that i would always love her for the person she is.. she gave me a quick kiss randomly.. anyways.. through the weeks i had kept contact and watched the boys and they stayed with me a night. it was great having the boys around as i love them so much but it felt like anytime i wanted to be around her she would get extremely irritated with me being around due to me being sad. so i changed my attitude and i started to show i was happy and talkative again. it started to work and on july 3rd we hung out for the first time. no talking about relationships or anything like that just a nice day hanging out with the boys and playing games in her room. the night came and i told her i would come back the next day to see the boys for 4th of july.. as i got off work the next day i decided to get fireworks and beeer. me being a person that doesnt drink beer often it was a bad mistake.. the day started out nice and we were talking about taking a vacation together with the kids and it was good. but as i got more into the beer i started to make dumb mistakes.. i ended up provoking her to get mad just by joking about a gift i had given her.. she wouldnt accept my apology even though i just wanted her to be happy with me.. after i was already drunk she had gotten mad at me because i was trying to light fireworks with the kids and i had calmed him down cuz he was crying while i was inside.. when she took him away from me i got really afraid of losing them because i thought she was thinking im a horrible person.. i quickly followed her to her room and begged for her not to take them from me.. she told me she wanted to hit me because i was being dumb and i ended up taking my anger that i NEVER have out on her wall.. i broke the wall and i tried to apologize but i was basically kicked out and not welcome to come near the house or around the kids… my ex blocked me on everything possible.. facebook snapchat. instagram even blocked messages and phonecalls.. after all had been done i messed up and i was desperately wanting to fix what i had messed up… so the next day i walked back to pick up my car and i talked to her telling her how i want just the boys around in my life because they are basically my sons and i had raised them. im all that they know. and she just continued to tell me i lost them. i ended up getting her to at least tell me that she would unblock me from instagram but she was returning my cellphone i had purchased her… so i ended up getting the phone back a couple of days ago. when she had came into my work she sent someone in to give me the phone.. i went outside to see her cuz i needed the charger.. i desperately wanted to see the boys but of course i didnt want to push my luck so i got the charger and got out. when i went back inside i txted the mutual friend who delivered the phone and she had told me that my eldest was calling out daddy in the car and his mom quickly turned around and said “that isnt your daddy he didnt even say hi to you” but after that she had a moment of sadness and sat her head on the wheel like she was going to cry.. i quickly messaged her asking her to bring them back so i can say hi to them but she didnt read it for hours past… but for some reason her friend texted me saying she was coming back to look at watches and as soon as i seen the boys i ran to them and they jumped in my arms calling me daddy saying that they miss me… and how much they love me.. and i kept telling them the same as i was happy to see them. when she had returned she just quickly told them to leave with her because they were going.. as i said goodbye to my eldest i asked if i could see them again and she said no. as much as it hurt i just said okay. as they were leaving the youngest looked at me sad being pulled by his mother and i told her to let him go to say goodbye.. he quickly ran into my arms and laid on my shoulder… it hurt because he never hugged me that much and with that much grip. it felt like he truly missed me.. even when his mother called his name to go he didnt move.. it truly felt like he wanted me around.. i had to tell him to be strong and told him i loved him and i will see him again, he just said okay. i love you. and thats the last i seen. that was yesterday. i really want my ex back and but most of all i want my sons back.. please help me.. im willing to do what i need to so i can have my family back.

Aaron

July 11, 2016 at 6:47 am

im sorry for the long post but i felt the need to express everything. i am deeply hurt by not seeing the kids around anymore.. and im hurt by not seeing her either. i want them all back
EGR Team Member: Amor

July 11, 2016 at 11:31 am

Hi Aaron,

I’m sorry to hear that.. I think you should one last message, in any way you can that you understand her and you’re giving her space but that you would want to continue being the father your sons as soon as she is ready and ok with that and that to reach anytime about it.. it would just be about the boys and you would respect her space… and then start limited nc

LeChloe

July 10, 2016 at 12:57 pm

Hi
i was in a long distance relationship for just over 3 years, 2+ years there were times i saw here less than once a month, the last 9 months i saw here more than twice a month.
We broke about 11 months ago, i did a no contact period of 60 days and then contacted her again.
we got back together but she requested we keep it quiet for a while. We eventually kept it quite for the hole 9months, although all our friends were expecting it we never admitted anything, that I think was a big mistake.
She broke up with me about 2 weeks ago after i found out she was cheating on me, when we broke up I told her she hurt me very much but I do forgive her and she should work on forgiving herself, I think she broke up with me because she felt really bad for cheating. The reason she gave me was because I wasn’t a christian although I find that hard to believe. Throughout the breakup conversation she kept saying that she is really unsure and just doesn’t want to hurt me and I need to move on
When we broke up I asked her to not just disappear and still talk to me, after about 2 days i realized how stupid this request was and started a no contact period. it’s been a week now.
Today i see some pictures of her on fb with her new boyfriend……
What now?

EGR Team Member: Amor

July 11, 2016 at 11:05 am

Hi Lechloe,

you have to come from a perspective that she has already moved on from you with him and also, maybe the distance is the real problem..

for now, improve yourself and follow what Chris said above

Raphael

July 10, 2016 at 8:52 am

Hi, im 22 years old and my ex is 17, we were together for about 9 months, we had for the first 6 months the best relationship i ever beed in my life. But then i started to be a bit distant she loved me so much and she showed it. But i was cold sometimes and when she tried to figure things out i never told her whats wrong with me. Then breakup came, i thought about my mistakes but the last 2-3 months i was contacting her too much, she always said that she needs time and space alone but i continued… She always said that she loves me but she cant right now start a relationship with me or see me and we are not done yet as a couple… I didnt stopped and the last 3 weeks she is dating someone that she went with on our hometown when we first met and had our best memories…Before that she asked me when i will go and i pushed her to tell me about his existance…She felt really bad about the way i felt when she told me about him and she said that we are not done yet (again) as a couple and she needs to test herself. I said many times that i will be there to wait for her but the last time i sent her a messege that for me its over. She didnt reply to my last messeges because she is with the other guy on holidays. When the guy leaves we will see each other almost every day (our hometown is small), and somehow we said that we will figure out things in person.. She is updating pictures with him in instagram and checkins in facebook. I did so much beg and plead in the past and i feel so bad about myself. I really need that chance to make things right and i told her that but she said that we cant right now. I dont know what I should do. Its beed 3 days since the last messege i got from her (i always contact first) that she said that ”whatever happens now our past is still there and we must not forget about this”. And she had great time with me when we were together. Its possible that this relationship is a rebound? I was her first boyfriend that slept with and the first boyfriend that she trully loved and cared about. There is any possibility for her to just ”play” with me? Gimme some advice please im really heartbroken and i really need her back to show her my changes and that i can be a good man for her.

EGR Team Member: Amor

July 11, 2016 at 10:37 am

Hi Raphael,

dp you want to try what Chris advised?
Raphael

July 11, 2016 at 12:03 pm

Im trying to start the no contact rule, but i will see her (accidentally) in about a week. Dunno how i must interact. I have to ignore her? I have to talk to her? And how many days of no contact would be nice to my situation? And after no contact what? I’ve already said her that if she wants to meet me in the future she must contact me if not, goodbye. She said that she will tell me when the time comes…I dont know what to think about what shes thinkin.
EGR Team Member: Amor

July 12, 2016 at 8:51 pm

just be light, civil and polite to her..try to do 30 days and focus in improving yourself..you can initiate contact after nc but what’s more important is you improve yourself and continue doing so even after it

Luke

July 7, 2016 at 3:57 am

Help please! Okay so I’ve successfully done NC and she finally reached out. We pretty much skipped texts but talked on the phone a bunch and hung out today! She’s got a new boyfriend… but still hung out alone with me. Saying that we shouldn’t pursue a relationship but I can tell she still likes me. He left her alone on 4th of July and she called me a bunch. She was REALLY eager to hang out with me today and we were really supportive and positive to each other – while maintaining boundaries. I haven’t reached out to her since this evening and am going to give it a couple of days to build up suspense. What do I do now?

EGR Team Member: Amor

July 7, 2016 at 7:38 pm

Hi Luke,

yep that’s good..give a little distance for now, so that you avoid being friendzoned or being strubg along… she has to realize that you’re not going to just wait for her
Luke

July 13, 2016 at 3:04 pm

Okay, update on the situation. I left it alone last week after the meet-up and she started hitting my phone up Sunday night after the weekend with her rebound. I waited til Monday to respond and be supportive of her class presentation. We were communicating really well all Monday until she texted me that night saying she still had feelings for me and would rather not communicate so she could work on her new relationship. I called her to see what was up and we talked for a bit until she asked me about the girls I was talking to (just talking by the way) and then she hung up. She called right back but I declined the call and shot her a text saying I cared about her and was going to give her the space she asked for. What do I do now? She has been seeing this guy for a month so “honeymoon” phase is over which is probably why she reached out and wanted to see/talk to me. Oh yeah, this new guy said he didn’t mind if she talked to me or saw me so what does that tell you about his level of care?? Her FB relationship status/photos still nothing about him. So should I do a short NC? How many days? Then reach out via text/calls again? Chris really should write a book with steps of what to do with rebounds because I’m sure this happens a lot.
EGR Team Member: Amor

July 15, 2016 at 4:31 am

you mean with the guy? hmmm.. it’s good news that sh
he doesn’t care but actually the only thing you have to do relating to him is to not be too forward with her so that he won’t be protective…
and then whenever you talk to your ex, make it fun and then continue maintaining yourself and being active in social media to pique her interest

what about this article?
Is Your Ex Girlfriend In A Rebound Relationship? Let’s Find Out!

Andrew

July 6, 2016 at 9:07 am

Hello.

Now it,s my turn, I suppose. Me and my ex were in a long distance type thing for almost a full year without ever even touching each other. Not one finger. We aren’t that far apart, but due to age and issues with money and transportation we were never able to actually meet physically. The main reason she dumped me is for what I assume to be my more.. Unstable state of mind. Basically, if you were to take a look into my head it’d be a god damn maze to navigate. Plus we disagreed on three major points: religion (she belives in God and has religious-based OCD, while my faith is on again off again), bearing a child (I wanted to have one, but she would not go for it. I accepted that already, however). And certain activities being saved until marriage (Something I apparently didn’t like because I can’t keep it in my damn pants). As of now she’s sorting out some issues involving her medication and other things she has not told me about and I cannot contact her in any way. She promises a return though. She’s currently interested in another man and while I don’t THINK they are together at the moment, I fear they may be soon enough. It seems like I have too much working against me, so I’m pretty sure I know the answer (she’s even writing erotic fiction involving her and her new crush and constantly googling things involving him, wondering if he will take her, and it does seem likely, which scares me.) Also I apologize for any grammatical errors or if the way I typed everything out is a little difficult to understand.

EGR Team Member: Amor

July 6, 2016 at 1:05 pm

Hi Andrew,

so she’s not that religious if she’s writing erotic fiction… I think your real challenge is the distance.. do you have a solution for that now?

Peter joe

July 5, 2016 at 2:47 pm

I still feel real love for her,I try hard to let go of her and I seem to be in pains in the end….She’s dating the guy now…She never said anything good of him before but she ended up choosing him and telling that after we broke up the first time she came back because of pity. I asked her the other time why she came back to me she said that she has many reasons of being with me of which she can’t tell me that am her own…. Why is she gone now….Will I ever get her?(NC for 14days now and am miserable can I brake the NC now?).Many things she told me,gets me mad to extreme I can’t believe she left me…

EGR Team Member: Amor

July 5, 2016 at 4:21 pm

Hi Peter,

that’s more reason not to beeak nc.. because if you’re going to break it just to chase her and then you would make the situation worse.. extend it to 45 days.. you need to heal and improve yourself first

Peter joe

July 5, 2016 at 2:32 pm

I broke up with my ex two weeks ago and I’ve not contacted her since then as advice.Before the brake up she told me series of things(She wanna focus,because of her mum,her friends and sis doesn’t like me cause am poor) the big issue here is that she had feeling for a guy which she ended up saying yes to and she confused to me and said she doesn’t love him that anytime she’s with me I give her joy that am what she needs but when she broke up she told me she loves him more than me.I was so uncomfortable knowing she was keeping me and him and I asked her to choose she choosed him and told me she’s tired…Am so confused.. Does she even love me? I mean I was the perfect guy for her like she used to say but why this?

EGR Team Member: Amor

July 5, 2016 at 4:21 pm

Hi Peter,

that’s more reason not to beeak nc.. because if you’re going to break it just to chase her and then you would make the situation worse.. extend it to 45 days.. you need to heal and improve yourself first
Peter joe

July 5, 2016 at 9:11 pm

But what bothers me is does she even love me? Considering all she said before and all this excuses and then jumping on another guy… I mean I gave her enough time yo leave the guy but it wasn’t going the way I thought… Will I ever get her back I still love her or I should let her go(is really hurting me) we vowed not to leave each other we made covenants I mean she was so lovely and always told me she’s proud to have me even the eve of the brake up she still told me that!!.. I think is because I don’t have money as they say but I’ve sworn to be wealthy to the extent that they will know I deserve respect!!
EGR Team Member: Amor

July 6, 2016 at 11:54 am

honestly if she really loves you, being wealthy shouldn’t be a requirement..

PANIC

July 4, 2016 at 5:35 pm

Hi!

Me and my ex had been together for seven years before we broke up. in that span she lived with me under the same roof for like 4 years. The main reason we broke up is that she caught me cheating. she tried to fix it but after months of trying to be better and forget what has happened, she eventually left my house and asked for time and space. i gave her the time she was asking but i saw her going out of town, meeting new people which made me panic and think that she is trying to meet a new person to replace me. I came up with the decision of breaking up with her which i think is the biggest mistake. after the break up we are still going out but she always tell me that she has a new boyfriend which i did not take seriously. Now it is confirmed that she has a new guy and what she said is that that guy is trying to get her pregnant and build a family which is exactly opposite of me. because when she asked me to have a baby i declined and told her we are not yet ready to have a baby since we are still not financially stable. I told her to make it right this time and said Im ready to settle with her, but she told me she love her new guy and does not want to leave him. she told me she wanted to be friends and we’ll see each other sometimes.

I tried NC before and prompted her to contact me. however, when she contacted me and ask me if i want to go out with her i always say yes because of how i miss her so much. I really need an advice regarding this matter. i feel like im running out of time and she might get pregnant which will end my plans on getting her back.

thank you for taking time to read this

EGR Team Member: Amor

July 5, 2016 at 4:08 pm

hi Panic,

did you improve yourself during that nc and are you still actively doing that?

Jax

July 4, 2016 at 5:21 am

Hi, I’ve been asking for some advice before but unfortunately nothing has really changed. My ex left me and then went directly to another guy who is known around my town as a bad guy who just tries to sleep with girls. My ex told me he changed and he is actually super sweet and they do all these great things together and he’s so thoughtful. I know how bad guys act to get girls though, they act thoughtful and caring to get sex… Not gonna sugarcoat it.

Anyways, my ex left 2000 miles away from both me and her new boyfriend for school a couple months ago. Over the time she was away, I built up rapport. We would text lots and have great conversations, we’d even phone and talk 1-2 times a week and laugh and chat for an hour or two. She phoned me crying one night saying she had these problems but didn’t really wanna talk to me about stuff about him… Fair enough.

Well that was about 3 weeks ago. This past weekend she decided to come home for the town fair and to “surprise her family”. Well she ended up seeing her family for 4 hours total and then ended up spending the entire rest of the weekend with him. She barely even acknowledged me while she was home, and then posted all these pictures of them hanging out on Facebook. I know that he hates me and he’d likely get mad at her if he knew I talked to her as much as I do. Which is likely why she didn’t text me this weekend while she was with him.
She never use to be like this. She use to love her family and want to spend time with them. Now she just abandons them for the fun times with this guy. Any advice or should I just wait and hope this relationship comes to an end when he shows her his true colors eventually?

EGR Team Member: Amor

July 5, 2016 at 3:39 pm

hi Jax,

it’s better if you just let time show what the guy really is and then use this time to improve yourself
Jax

July 6, 2016 at 2:16 pm

Thanks, Do you suggest another shortened No Contact period? I really feel like she can talk to me better than she can talk to him and that I do understand her better. Problem is that she is very stubborn and backs away anytime I try to build up attraction. This past weekend when I texted her, I told her I felt used because she talks to me all the time and abandons me when she’s home. She told me it’s not like that, that it’s complicated, and that she still really values me as a person and loves talking to me.
Her family is very upset with her and this new guy and they have made that known to her. They even refuse to meet him. However, she is the type to rebel and say she’s doing her own thing if they give her advice. I know that her entire family still loves me like a son too.
EGR Team Member: Amor

July 7, 2016 at 6:30 pm

yep, do another nc

Jim Thomas

July 3, 2016 at 2:46 am

Hi,
I am 21 years old.
When I was 16, I dated my first girlfriend who I literally believed (and still do believe) to be perfect for me.
We dated for the summer, but broke up partially because it was long distance, partially because she wanted to focus on other parts of her life… partially (Mostly) because I was immature, inexperienced, and clingy. Oops…
Although it had been 5 years since I saw her last, I suggested we catch up this summer. I drove out to see her yesterday and we chilled with a few friends / went to a party together.
Now, two things… 1) I didn’t plan on trying to establish another romantic connection with her. 2) she has had a new boyfriend for two years, anyways.
However, we did get along really well, just like we used to. I couldn’t help but be reminded of why I liked her SO DAMN MUCH.
So now I’m sitting at home, confused about what to do.
I know this girl is a once in a lifetime opportunity. Honestly would do anything for her.
As much of a bad guy I feel like for wanting to steal her back from her new boyfriend… I would totally do it.
Advice? Please?
THANKS:)

EGR Team Member: Amor

July 3, 2016 at 2:12 pm

hi Jim,

if she’s really happy now then just let her be but if not, build rapport with her first

Paul

June 30, 2016 at 8:01 pm

Hi!

I did the No Contact rule and went on a Date with my Ex. It really went well and we ended up kissing and having sex, after which she tod me “i still love you”.

Problem is she is in a rebound relationship and in the past 4 weeks i became a bit clingy (learned with her, let her talk/complain about her new boyfriend) an i think i am now in the friendzone. She tod me the last time, she can’t have sex with me anymore. (she promised her new boyfriend)

I decided to cut off the contact again for some time, but whats your recommendation? I bought your guide and it is great, but i am a bit lost after the great first date.

Thanks!

Paul

June 30, 2016 at 8:09 pm

And how long should a second no contact period be? Thanks!
EGR Team Member: Amor

July 2, 2016 at 6:31 pm

Try just 21 days.. continue the activities you do during nc even after it, and then after the first day, don’t always be too available.. maintain yourself. The first date should be light only, so you can level up the second date.. the third date should be most romantic

Tyler

June 30, 2016 at 5:43 am

Hi Chris,
My name is Tyler, and I just started having any form of a relationship with a girl this year. I’m 15 years old, so I know that not everything in my life that happens right now is permanent, however I want to ask for a realistic evaluation from you about a certain girl that I would like to get back (as you could probably tell from me being on your site). I’ll start from the beginning, and hopefully by the time I finish, you can tell me what my chances might be with this girl in the future.
I just finished my freshman year of high school very recently, and in the beginning of the year, the first day I walked in I saw a stunningly beautiful girl. Her name is Julia and I immediately knew that I wanted to have a relationship with her. The first time I worked up the courage to ask her out, we were on a field trip. It was merely hours before I had planned to ask her out that I saw her kissing her newfound boyfriend (I had found out from some friends of hers that she was single only a few days prior, so it was definately a new boyfriend). I went to my hotel room heartbroken (we were staying in a hotel because it was a field trip, I wasn’t trying to get a room with her, this was before we knew each other very well). Several months passed and there was no growth in our relationship, as she had a great time with her boyfriend. She dated him for about six months, before he broke her heart. When I heard about that about a week later, I texted her, not in an affectionate way… Yet, just as friends. I asked her if she was OK, and was very polite, but not trying to win her in any way yet. I started texting her from an amusement park i was visiting with my family, abouy how i wished she was there (and i really did). We texted back and forth, and soon our conversation was mixed with small flirts and such. When she said that she had had a crush on me ever since the first few weeks of school, I finally asked her on a date, almost 7 months after I had originally planned to. She actually canceled the first date, because she was sick, not because she didn’t want to go. When we finally did go out, it was fun and we both had a good time. We began to grow quite close, and I asked her to be my official girlfriend (that was after pussying put 3 times prior because I was a little nervous, she was my first real potential girlfriend). She said that she would be happy to be my girlfriend. About a week later, I found out that she still loves her ex boyfriend, the one who had ruined my plans on the Washington trip. She didn’t hide it, she talked to me about it, after I had told her that she could be comfortable talking with me about anything. We talked and I decided to let her try again with this ex boyfriend of hers (believe me, literally the HARDEST thing I have ever done in my life, letting her go because I knew she was happier with especially because I happen to think the guy was a big douche, which he proved later when he “accidentally” let it slip that he didn’t love her anymore, and that he was just messing with her and the couldn’t ever get back together). I wasn’t mad at her at all, its very hard to stay mad at the one person you love the most, but I was still upset as any man would be in this situation. I later found out that her ex boyfriend didn’t want to get together, and that he was toying with her. I was understanding (and quite frankly, happy as hell) when she came back to me apologizing, she said that she wasn’t sure if she wanted a boyfriend, because she didn’t know if she could place trust in another boy, and I said that that was fine, because it would give her time to fall out of love with this ex boyfriend who repeatedly hurt her (she was MADLY in love with him, like when I was “friend zoned” with her she talked about him ALL THE TIME), so I agreed that we could just hang out. After a few days of this we went to a friend of both of ours birthday party. We kissed there, and we began to grow close again. After we kissed, we continued to hang out, and soon school ended. We had more free time on our hands, and I was surprised to find that we hung out less, even though we had more free time (this is almost up to date, I began to notice this around last week). We still weren’t officially dating, so once again I was saddened and not angry, when she texted me last night and said that she was talking to someone else, and put me back into the “friend zone” (which isn’t terrible, because that means I’ve skipped right to that step of getting your “ex girlfriend back if she’s with another man”,yet it still is a terrible feeling to be only friends with someone that you love). I don’t know who it is that she’s talking to, but she is now talking to me as strictly friends, which I was informed of earlier tonight, meaning that she wants him to be her boyfriend, even though she specifically said that I was one of the kindest people she had ever dated, even if it was only briefly. I really did try to put her needs before my own, and she specifically said I was a great boyfriend, except kissing, which she said I wasn’t very good at. Other than kissing, she specifically told me that I was a great guy, kind, understanding, willing to pay for her (at restaurants and such, and she was right I was happy to buy her things to make her happy) along with several other things. (She mentioned all of those, that’s not coming from me). The only thing she ever complained about with me was kissing, which I mentioned earlier (she was my first girlfriend and first kiss, although she had had a few boyfriends before me, and knew what she was doingwhile I did not, so she understood why I wasnt great at it, and knew that was the reason she was a better kisser than me) other than that, she didn’t ever compain, but she suddenly stopped talking to me as a portential boyfriend, and only as friends. She is now quite dangerously close to being his girlfriend, and I really don’t want to have to have to go through the pain of watching her love another man again. I want her to be happy, so if she is happy then that’s good enough for me, but I would love to be the one making her happy, and I really am asking your help to make me a person who is special to her, as I once was.
Sincerely
~Tyler

EGR Team Member: Amor

June 30, 2016 at 2:40 pm

Hi Tyler,

I think this is what you really need to read How To Make Your Ex Girlfriend Attracted To You Again

Raj kamboj

June 29, 2016 at 2:09 am

i was in relationships with my girlfriend from last 3 year few day ago i have hurt her for a nonsense reason i have not talk to her for 10 days she have posted sad status on Facebook and missing me but i have not go back after 10 days when i miss her feel need of her i massage her but she said me she have a new boyfriend and happy with him she said she have no feeling of love with me and can live without you.
i have lots of cry for her i have feel my guilty saying sorry to her from 3 days i wana get her back i can’t live without her she say to me she is just flirting with her new boyfriend, just for time pass he will not long with her last night i told to her plz come online early morning wana talk to you she text me back in midnight she say now don’t except anything from me she regularly hurting me but i have lot of need her i can’t forget her she is my own world how i can get her back? help me I’m nothing without her I know she loves me alot but i have hurt her many time i was not lover of her i was enemy of her now I’m feeling lot of guilty for her
I’m suffering from lot of depression i have lot of continously headache n thinking about her regularly if she will not come back my mind will be blast I’m not felling well but I’m saying to her regularly i will not hurt her again will not leave her anytime alone forever just give me last and she gave me please help me ????????????????????

EGR Team Member: Amor

June 30, 2016 at 2:08 pm

Hi Raj,

time to start active no contact to improve yourself and to stop chasing her

Raj kamboj

June 29, 2016 at 1:58 am

i was in relationships with my girlfriend from last 3 tear few day ago i have hurt her for a nonsense reason i have not talk to her for 10 days she have posted sad status on Facebook and missing me but i have not go back after 10 days when i miss her feel need of her i massage her but she said me she have a new boyfriend and happy with him she said she have no feeling of love with me and can live without you.
i have lots of cry for her i have feel my guilty saying sorry toh her from 3 days i wana get her back i can’t live without her she say to me she is just flirting with her new boyfriend, just for time pass he will not long with her last night i told to her plz come online early morning wana talk to me she text me back in midnight she say now don’t except anything from me she regularly hurting me but i have lot of need her i can’t forget her she is my own word how i can get her back? help me I’m nothing without her i she she loves me alot but i have hurt her many time i was not lover of her i was enemy of her now I’m feeling lot of guilty for her

EGR Team Member: Amor

June 30, 2016 at 2:08 pm

Hi Raj,

time to start active no contact to improve yourself and to stop chasing her

lover

June 25, 2016 at 5:19 am

we stopped our relation maybe for 2 months we stayed in contact and she told me many times it’s over. i felt that she has new person in her life( i’m really confused not thinking clearly) sometimes i feel she wants me back sometimes i don’t
any ideas or advice?

EGR Team Member: Amor

June 30, 2016 at 12:44 pm

Hi Lover,

do you want to do active nc?

lover

June 25, 2016 at 5:18 am

hi
i’m a married person who has problems with my wife and i work in a different country living alone i met a lady through my work she’s married and has almost same problems. her husband is older than her around 20 years stubborn jobless and a big liar. to cut the long story we started as friends than things happened we fell in love. she always felt guilty and doing wrong. i always pushed to stay cause she meant a lot to me she made me a better person and she treated me as human being respect love and lot more. one day we agreed that it’s done and we stayed friends even she introduced me to her husband she’s opening a salon and i’m the one who’s helping her in it (she even didn’t accept gifts from me she wasn’t with me for the money) i became good friend with her husband. one day we were joking the three of us. after they left she texted me she told me it’s better even to stop messaging each other. i thought for that day. the next day i texted her she replied aggressively (u don’t get it or u don’t want to stop texting me) and she changed suddenly she even traveled to her sister the day of our 1st anniversary (all her sisters knows me and i met them in person she introduced me to them) i was stupid i begged her to comeback i even changed my place to be close to her work so she can pass i bought a sim card so she will be the only one who contact me on. i loved her so much i know i did lot of mistakes and was so pushy but i will never hurt her and i will do anything just i want her to be happy, i’m lost without her i want her back and i don’t know what to do. my work with women i know lot of them and prettier than her but she touched my heart. i know i’m stupid and crazy but if i can extend the happiness in my life even for one day i will. i was so happy with her. any ideas or solution? (whatever people want to say about me it’s ok i deserve it but at least i’m not lying and i’m sure that there are millions have the same problem but they don’t say it)
i was even doing the things that he supposed to do and he was careless she compared how good i was and how bad he was
we stopped our relation maybe for 2 months we stayed in contact and she told me many times it’s over. i felt that she has new person in her life( i’m really confused not thinking clearly) sometimes i feel she wants me back sometimes i don’t
any ideas or advice?
Toby Isaac

June 24, 2016 at 7:21 pm

I’m in one of the toughest situations i’ve ever been in. Me and my ex girlfriend broke up just over a month ago, we were together for 1 year and 3 months, it was mainly me that broke up with her because there was a girl that kept talking to me and texting to me and even though i loved my ex girlfriend more than anything ( and still do ), i got attracted to this new girl in a way. My girlfriend at the time told me to get rid of her and to stop talking to her because she could see what was happening, but i merely told her that nothing will happen and that i had no interest in her. This new girl came round mine twice while i was with my girlfriend at the time, but nothing ever happened we just walked and talked. Me and my ex live 2 minutes walk away in the countryside and i remember my ex spying out the window when this new girl had left. The new girl spoke badly about my girlfriend at the time, making jokes about her and not being nice or saying anything nice about her, which sort of pushed me away from my girlfriend. The next couple days me and my girlfriend weren’t that happy due to this new girl, we would argue about it and my girlfriend would cry to me about it but i’d just say its fine nothing will happen because i have no feelings for her, which was in part a lie because i sort of did. We broke up about a week later because we kept talking about breaking up because of this, or having a break for a bit and then getting back together. Almost every night we would walk together to the orchards near us, we’d walk in there and talk about splitting and that we would tonight but we never did and it actually took 4 days of saying “today we will split up/go on a break”.
The night we did, it was awful and emotional, and i regretted it so so much and still do even more now, we walked our separate ways back to our homes while turning around and looking at each other. I mainly did it because of this new girl, she made my girlfriend at the time seem bad and horrible.
A couple weeks go by and me and this new girl get close and eventually start going out which was a major rush, it lasted 5 days and it just ended last week. I didn’t love her it was just a distraction from my ex, but she’s been talking to a new boy since we broke up and its been killing me. She did cheat on me twice in the same week at a camp thing were she kissed another boy and flirted etc, and that was awful for me when i found out but i did forgive her for it. But i wasn’t treating her as well as i should of been so i think thats what drove her to do it. She blocked me on everything though after we broke up and i was silly and kept trying to contact her but she got angrier each time, saying that she never wants us again and that she doesn’t want to talk because she wants to get over me and move on, and how she doesn’t want to give me hope. Her and this boy text 24/7 and tell each other they love them and how they’re going to come round each others houses and make out etc… Her imessage was still logged in on my macbook and i never realised so it was a huge shock to me. She said they’re going to see what happens and if they get together it will be in a couple months time and they’ll take it slow, but they’re already texting like a couple calling each other babe and baby etc, thats what i saw before i logged her imessage out a couple days ago. I know its not my problem or business but i know we have something special even though it is first love and we both did everything together for the first time.
I met my ex girlfriend today as i asked to meet her and we did after a good month of not seeing each other, as soon as she saw me she tried not to smile but she did and it looked like she was really happy to see me inside. She said she met me because she wanted to apologise for being a bitch to me after the break up, if i ever contacted her she would just tell me to get lost or leave her alone. We hugged twice and it felt great seeing her and hugging her, and i ended up saying that i love her with all my heart, but she never responded to it. I was able to say a lot of things that were on my chest, like how i was sorry about the way i treated her, how i regret it all and how i love her, but she felt so awkward as if she wanted to say it back and wanted to just get back to how we were. I could tell she had missed me because of the way she hugged me but she told me she doesn’t want me getting hope as she’s not coming back anymore. i asked her to unblock me and she did when she got home. Also when we started walking back home i turned round and she was turned round too looking at me but quickly spun back round. But now we’ve started texting again sort of, just casually laughing at memes we’re sharing. I try not to text back instantly so i don’t look too desperate, and i’m trying to stay away from talking about anything dodgy like getting back together or the boy she’s talking to. I really want her back, more than anything ever. I miss her so much its mental, its become an addiction constantly checking her instagram for posts or whatever that comes up i just can’t help myself. We’ve broken up 3 times now, but each time has been the same almost, her friends and family influence her heavily not to talk to me, contact me, meet me or get back to me, and she listens to them a lot, each time we broke up she also started speaking to another boy like she is now, she told me she hates me like she did, and each time she looks like she doesn’t care about the break up. Because she’s got the other boy there i think thats taking her mind off me a lot, she said that she feels like she’s doing really well getting over me but i don’t want her to! Its her birthday soon and i don’t want to not be there for it but i know i obviously won’t! She also starts at the same college as me in september, so i’ll see her every morning as we drive past each other again as thats how we met when we first got together. I feel like i’ve made progress here as now we are texting again and theres potential that we can meet up too because of how close we live. Her family don’t like me and don’t want her to have anything to do with me and her friends don’t either even more, but this happened last time we broke up and that didn’t stop us from eventually getting back together and sneakily meeting up without anyone knowing haha! I think if i ask her to meet me again in a couple days she’d say no or at least be very unsure and probably decline.
Sorry about how LONG this is but i guess my question is how can i start it all off again while she’s talking to someone else and while all her friends hate me even though i haven’t actually done anything wrong to her? I don’t want to do the NC month because i feel like her and the boy she’s talking to will just get closer because she’ll forget about me easier, plus i tried it for about half a month but gave in eventually as it was too hard. I feel like if the new boy wasn’t in the picture i’d have a great chance of getting her back but… I can tell she still really cares about me and might still love me but do i just try to be chill with her and act like i don’t care or do i show her i care and love her but discreetly so it sort of ruptures what she has with the new boy and makes her remember me more and miss me? I’m completely stuck here so PLEASE help me out! i understand it could take months but i don’t even care i just want her back in my life! She’s just left school and that was our weakness when we were together, all our arguments were about her at school but now she’s left school it would be so much different, and college is starting in 3 months and we always said we’d be together for college as it all works out so perfectly for us. I want to be able to sort of build it all back up over text and be able to meet her occasionally for a walk or a run so she doesn’t forget me and starts to love me again! Please help me get her back! Sorry about the length of this post!

EGR Team Member: Amor

June 30, 2016 at 12:38 pm

Hi Toby,

how are you now?
Toby Isaac

June 30, 2016 at 7:06 pm

Hey, we text basically every day and for most of the day, i feel like i should cut it off sometimes rather than keep talking to make her miss me but i don’t want to give her more time to get more attached to this new guy! We met a couple days ago and we went round hers and ended up kissing and that led to us doing other stuff… But she said she doesn’t love me and doesn’t want to be with me? If i rarely ask about it over text she will say that she’s not ready to be with me, and thats understandable but i just kinda feel in limbo. Her and this new guy text and call 24/7 and they call each other babe and say that they love each other, i found out when i saw her phone a couple days ago and obviously this hurts me but i know if he wasn’t in the picture we would be getting closer again. I’m pretty sure its just a rebound what they have as they started talking the day we broke up, but i feel if i stopped talking to her for a bit or just didn’t reply to her texts, she’d just be happy to carry on talking to the other boy. Last time we met we held hands and hugged a lot, and had a laugh, but then after we got back home she was really blunt to me and acted like it didn’t happen! I got annoyed at one point when we had met and said that what she has with this new boy isn’t real and won’t sum up to anything because its just a rebound and i know i shouldn’t of said that but i just keep having the urge to tell her to get a grip and get rid of him which i obviously can’t do. We’re meeting tomorrow to go on a big walk, just us and i’m not really sure how to act. It sounds bad but how can i get this guy to go away? He was told about me and my ex doing stuff only a couple days ago so whys he still talking to her?! How can i get her to see that i’m better than him i guess?
Toby Isaac

June 30, 2016 at 7:09 pm

Oh and shes told me she doesn’t love him she just has feelings for him. But she has feelings for me still and cares about me, and i know she must more than him.
Toby Isaac

June 30, 2016 at 8:12 pm

not sure if you got my reply
EGR Team Member: Amor

July 2, 2016 at 6:26 pm

yes, I did Isaac 🙂 well, you can only control yourself so don’t focus on the other guy.. Focus on how you can influence how she would think and feel about you? DO you look your best when you’re together? Do you the push pull theory? Do you make her want more or she just knows how much you like her then that causes her to be complacent around you?
Toby Isaac

July 3, 2016 at 11:34 am

Thanks for the reply Amor, when i’m with her we get along really well and have a laugh and act like a couple, but as soon as I go she just goes back to texting and calling the other guy as if nothing happened between us! I try to look my best but I think she’s got me wrapped round her finger as I sometimes say that I love her and tell her how much I just want another chance which isn’t good I know. I don’t want to let her keep getting closer to this other guy but it feels like I can’t win here as I feel like no matter how i play this out she’ll just end up getting with him! I feel like I have no hope of getting her back and I don’t know how to play this out to get her back! I haven’t ever used the push pull theory but I think if I did she just wouldn’t be phased. I need a way of making me look like a better option than the other guy she keeps meeting and talking to! what do I do?!
EGR Team Member: Amor

July 3, 2016 at 2:14 pm

the only that that happens is if you improve yourself, stop chasing her and aim to be the alpha male

Eric

June 21, 2016 at 9:26 am

I was with a girl for 5 years and recently we broke up because she hid something from me and i got angry and rushed into a breakup, then she begged me and i told her give me time and to move on and i will find her when I’m done so after a month i started seeing her again and we were talking and she wanted to get back with me, so after a while we did and 2 weeks into the relationship i found out she was cheating on me, she met someone after the breakup and continued sleeping with him after we got back and after i found this out, i was hurt so we broke up so she can sort her head out and continued talking, i told her i will forgive her but now a few weeks have gone by, she is telling me to move on and she wants to be with him and not me anymore. What do i do??? i need this girl back in my life, she meant everything to me and for 5 years she was crazy about me and we lived together for the past year or so and now all this! how can i get her back??? while she wants to be with him and not me??

EGR Team Member: Amor

June 30, 2016 at 9:45 am

Hi eric,

do active no contact.. when did you last talked?

Zachary

June 20, 2016 at 12:44 am

Hey
I wanted to ask what you think and do you think we can work it out. Me and my girlfriend met online about a year ago and we were great not problems. After 3 to 4 months I picked her up from her house where her mom and dad had her forced to marry someone else and I saved her from that. She moved in with me and we had a great time for the first 3 months then she turned 21 and she was drinking all the time. She wanted to party but I was first under 21 and I dont like to party that much. Now I know I should have gone out with her sometimes but I never did. Then at work she found someone new and she emotionally cheated on me. It hurt alot but we worked it out and it took sometime but I started to trust her again. She changed jobs and starting to go more again. She started to go out everynight and I would not see her for days at a time and she would sleepover a friends house. I thought it was a girl but I was wrong it was a guy named jeff and she started to like him. Now before I go on I want to say that I asked her to take a break because she was going out all the time. She said with in 2 mins of me saying that she wanted to. After 20 hours she was back because we could not deal with out each other. So we said we had to start talking more and working everything out and I did but she did not. SHe wanted to do more stuff and she wanted to go out more so we want to movies and dinner and arcades because we were gamers. But then when I was in the ER room with a kidney stone she break up with me and would not tell me why. I asked her if we could work it out but she said there was no way we could work it out. More or less left me and got her stuff and moved in with the jeff guy. It has been about a week and she was talking to me and wanted to work it out in about two weeks. But then my sisster stole stuff from her when she was moving her stuff and she told me “I am done with you, We are done”. I was so upset so I did not talk to her for 2 days and so asked me for help with her PC and I help her being the nice guy I am and I keep trying to get her to tell me why she broke up with me. She would tell me many things and I would tell her how I thought she was wrong and she would agree with me. So I asked her what is the real reason and she said she does not know. That is what she would keep saying “I dont know” so right now I have not idea what she is thinking. I have not talked to her for about 3 days and not going to for a while but right now she is living with his jeff guy and she said she cant talk to me because “jeff may want to date her and he does not work her talking to me”. She has know this guys for less then a month and me for a year but she goes with him and wont talk it out with me or aleast tell me what is wrong. I want to know what you think is happening and can I fix it? Thanks

EGR Team Member: Amor

June 30, 2016 at 6:15 am

Hi Zachary,

does she still live with Jeff?

Praman

June 15, 2016 at 10:41 am

Hey there, writing after a months, many things happened within this month. We meet often we were close on our meet. She is still with her, but I can see how much I mean to her, she cant see me hurt or any harm on me. She was about to move in with her new BF, but when i asked she decided not to move in. I think the signs are positive… I am really looking forward to be with her my entire life. Thank you Amor for the suggestions.
Massimo

June 14, 2016 at 7:05 am

Hello I would like to share my story a please get help I was two am now nearly 3 months apart with my girlfriend. The 2 months was for the final school exams when we finally finished she told me she doesn’t trust me in fact she never did because in our 3 year relationship in the first year I was flirty with other girls because so many guys tried to talk to my girlfriend an I was so jealous so I wanted to try if I can get attention how she did then the first summer I realized my mistakes and I said to alla the girls I was speaking to stop because I want only my gf the next to years with my girlfriend when she found out where very abusive no female friends and after no friends at all only her and she did the same she wanted from me to give her my fb password she gave me and hers so fast forward this months se told me she wanted to make the things I have done to work out this relationship (she never done anything wrong in this relationship I was to blame for all her bad behavior and her trust issues) then a few weeks back she started talking with the guy to hang out 1 time like I did in the past but they didn’t she kept tickling to this guy and now she said he is treats her better and yeasterday she told me it’s over you can’t do anything about this I was devastated I still feel so bad so yeastarday I want crazy mode I was so hurt with so little answers she told me they went out in beach but the dint do anything except from hugging I told her if they hooked up an she told me no yet so I went crazy mode as I said an spammed her with messages that I loved her to not leave me for him and that kind of stuff as she did the last weeks she didn’t respond (for a month and half now I wasn’t able to see her fb she changed her pass) so yesterday I found a way to get to her profile and I saw all her messages with the other guy…( this guys was trying 3 years to be with her never succeeded) and I saw their chat in the first she was mentioning me se was clear to him tha she wa thinking about me but the other guys told her to not speak about me and this kind of stuff and I saw the conversation from a friendly out to be more serious they where talking like I was in start with her and they basically where like a couple but without done anything yet because he tried one time but she denied him but now I doubt she will because they like each other need less to say i was an I am hurt broken I haven’t eat and I cry all day I beg her and try to say to her about us but she is very clear to what she wants now everything started to balance the realationship and now very soon she will be with the other guy (I am 17 soon 18 she is the same age and the guy basketball player 21) what I should do all this happend this 3 weeks I feeling so bad right now please help me I am so heartbroken I have suicidal thought I want just to sleep and never wake up tell me can I get her back ? (I know somewhere there deep she wants me I was with her 3 years we felt in 2013 it was so powerful but this perfect thing was dame he’d again and again over time but we done everything together I was and she was my first we had a realationship so unreal) please help

Massimo

June 14, 2016 at 7:06 am

Sorry for my bad English or grammar I am from Greece as I said but please help me… Please
EGR Team Member: Amor

June 14, 2016 at 4:17 pm

it’s ok 🙂
EGR Team Member: Amor

June 14, 2016 at 4:17 pm

Hi Massimo,

you have to help yourself first by doing nc.. you’re too emotional right now.. but that’s normal with your age.. so, focus on yourself first… all of what’s happening is really part of growing up.. it’s your first challenge as you enter manhood.. so, practice on handling it maturely by stopping to chase her while slowly healing by improving yourself and going out with friends and doing new things to get to know yourself.. focus on that for 30 days.. if you need to extend that’s ok.. What’s important is you become more emotionally stable before you try to rebuild rapport again..

Devin

June 11, 2016 at 6:39 am

Hi there,

My relationship was going through a rough time. It was filled with break ups and constant fighting. The other day she told me that she had enough and that she wanted to end the relationship.
During my space and time away from her I’ve realised where everything went wrong.
I don’t blame anyone else but myself for my lack of competence in dealing with problems.
It haunts me everyday, I know I’ve done a lot of things that have hurt her and I’m finding it difficult to forgive myself and a part of me just wants to apologise and beg for her back but I know that’ll just push her away even further.
So prior to our break, she got closer to her best guy mate. She associated with him more than she did with me and I understand why and it was because he was a much more positive influence on her than I was at that time because all her and I did was fight. I was no longer the light in her life, it was him. He motivated her to be a better person and started setting goals for her etc. Things that I should’ve done as her boyfriend. Therefore she started getting closer and closer to her best mate more. She would go gym with him and go for dinners. I felt extremely uncomfortable about this.
So the other day when we broke up, she told constantly told me to move on. She told me that she wants to find herself a rebound and force herself to like someone else so that she does not run back to me like all the other times she did when we broke up. It hurts me to hear her say all these things. And she also implied that her best guy mate could potentially be next in line for her because they’ve been talking a lot and she’s found comfort in him.
I felt devastated and I’m unsure of what to do next. A part of me wants to get over her and move on which I’m finding it extremely difficult to do but another part of my brain is telling to get her back.
Can you please tell me what I can do in this case to get her back?
Is all hope lost because she’s seeked comfort in her best mate and he did all the things that I failed to do as her boyfriend and that he may be her potential partner next?

EGR Team Member: Amor

June 12, 2016 at 4:50 pm

Hi Devin,

her best friend is actually a grass is greener case for her.. if she needs a rebound to stop her from going back to you then that’s a good sign that she’s not totally over you..she got tired.. so, focus on doing active no contact and in improving yourself and being active in posting it, so, you can increase the chance of making her miss you
Devin

June 15, 2016 at 1:14 pm

Thanks for replying,

She called me last night but I didn’t pick up but I’m curious to know why she just called me out of the blue.
There’s also been a rumour going around that she’s seeing her best mate now.
What do I do?
EGR Team Member: Amor

June 15, 2016 at 3:55 pm

stay strong on improving yourself.. and if the call was important, she’ll text what it was..

Shubham Sharma

June 10, 2016 at 5:23 am

My name is shubham sharma and i was in a realtion of about 4 years nd 6 months and few days back i got to know she was with some other boy and i read chats snd i didnt told her even now cuz i love her sooo muchh and cant see her without me i always helped her and still she said me that i dnt give her space i always control her and she is not interesting in me now. So please tell me what to do m so helpless ? Will she come back? Do she really miss me ? And all those 4 years we had together .Are these things still on her mind? Please tell me Cuz i still want to be with her. she was my first priority and now too she is my first i did everything for her and will do also but please tell me how to get back her she has blocked me too she daily message me something either to fight or ask what u wanna say and yeah must not be imp. Much

EGR Team Member: Amor

June 10, 2016 at 5:46 am

HI,

I actually answered your first comment. I’ll copy paste it here.

Hi Shubham Sharma,

you need to improve yourself and heal emotionally too. That’s the more important part of no contact. You need to change first and you have to avoid any jealousy moves too. I just want to make it clear, when did you actually break up and who initiated the break up?
Shubham Sharma

June 10, 2016 at 6:12 am

Mam she did the breakup just for 5 days boy who was just d stranger now i am having patience and she have unblocked me from everywhere and she told me too about how was our relation and wrote a long message too i dont know what whole it is as i have not read it yet.Please help me out
EGR Team Member: Amor

June 10, 2016 at 7:34 am

I think you should read it first.. what if it’s a confession? And you should talk to her sincerely and calmly about what you knew..don’t blame her.. be calm and it’s better if it’s done in personal.
Shubham Sharma

June 10, 2016 at 11:50 am

Yes i think and i read it and its been written like this realtionship was soo good i loved u all 3 years but last year u broken up . Actually i told u mam what happened last year she tested me from Facebook by creating a fake id and talking to me and that time i flirt but not like this what she has done in this time she was just cheating me rigorously i saw that and i didn’t told her she was sharing benefits kinds of things with that boy i saw all still i didn’t said any word and noe what she said me is this..
Dear Shubham,
4years and 6 months with someone is not an easy thing… It includes everything you can think of investiging from time to your own self bieng… It’s not just a relationship …at least for us it was more then that…it was a feeling we lived… Every relationship has problems… Every relationship does it…but it’s easy to get over wen both are involved… Wen one person is singly involved in something… Tb bht mushkil ho jta h…dekhna sunna bnd ho jta h…it has happened with me…I loved u with all my heart 3years …I truly did… No one can deny that…though still people said that Shubham loves u more…I didn’t bothered I still did.. With greater intensities n much extreme power… Till u broke me down to a million pieces… I pulled up…I still stood…last few months seemed blooming for us… But it wasn’t for me…I couldn’t sleep at nights… Nor at days…I pushed myself to thoughts.. I pushed myself to agony….even wen u hugged or kissed me…I uses to be somewhere else…relationship don’t work like that… I lied u since an year that I was fine…I wasn’t… M still not fine…but I choose this way…I didn’t left u cause of Vaibhav… He is temporary like everyone else in my life…he is just my support dese days…but I left u cuz of you only….I am heartily sorry… Try to forgive and forget me
Thanks for making me believe in love
Take care of you and your family
You are a wonderful person
God bless you
-apoorva

And moreover I am unblocking you from everywhere cuz I want to face it without keeping any grudges .

U don’t wanna say anything?

Definitely I hve left u shattered n speechless… But u know always the one we love the most hurt us the most
Always…

N I guess I should block u only..I dnt want to give any false hopes

so these all messages she sent me i just saw them and she blocked me again.so by seeing this what u can say mam?. Cuz till now m not replying her anything.
Shubham Sharma

June 11, 2016 at 3:06 am

Please mam revert back. Its so urgent.I dnt know its been 3 or 4 days but m not able to do anythng without her please mam. .I am really jn trouble without her.
EGR Team Member: Amor

June 12, 2016 at 2:00 pm

ok.. you need to focus on healing and improving yourself. I understand that it hurts because of course it does. But you won’t be able to improve if you’re too emotional. And you won’t increase your chances of getting her back if you don’t improve.. because you need to attract her back and it starts with you healing first and then improving yourself.

YOu should read these two other posts too because it will help you to be the alpha male.

HOW TO GET YOUR EX GIRLFRIEND BACK
HOW TO MAKE YOUR EX GIRLFRIEND CHASE AFTER YOU
Shubham Sharma

June 12, 2016 at 3:13 pm

Yesterday she said me she moved on and said me to move on too And please forgive her .And i can say whatever i want but i didnt replied as i think to use no contact from 7 april. So what shud i basically do ?
EGR Team Member: Amor

June 13, 2016 at 3:57 am

continue on no contact to improve yourself.. it’s good that you didn’t reply.. instead of saying anything, just show her what she will be missing.. don’t put anything in your posts that it’s for her or for her to get back.. just be busy and happy..
Shubham Sharma

June 13, 2016 at 4:13 am

Yes i am busy a bit but she’s always on my mind And yes i wont reply to her And one more thing is it this much easy to move on in just few days over a true love of more than 4 n half years.
EGR Team Member: Amor

June 13, 2016 at 5:46 am

it’s normal that you still think of her.. no, it’s not that easy but if she started moving on when she was still with you, then that’s when it appears that it’s too fast for you after you broke up.. It appears fast for but for her, she has long started moving on even before she broke up with you..
Shubham

June 13, 2016 at 9:21 am

And one more thing that may i tell her that i saw her chats and made her realise look what u have done and am still wanna be with you. So shud i tell her dat or i shud follow no contact .
EGR Team Member: Amor

June 14, 2016 at 10:37 am

nope.. don’t make her feel bad intentionally.. just continue on with no contact

Brandon

June 8, 2016 at 8:37 pm

Me and my ex of 2 and a half years broke apart around 3 months ago, I did the whole begging and pleading and blowing up her phone thing for the first 2 months, we were still “dating” but not official, but since I was scared and needy I looked through her phone a few times and all that did was basically make her lose a lot of respect for me and piss her off. That’s when she ended it for good. In this past month she reached out to me every few days because she missed me and even said she kinda wanted to get back together, but since she didn’t really believe I had changed she changed her mind. She randomly stopped contacting me for about 3 weeks and I found out she had a new boyfriend. she finally reached out to me telling me shes sorry for how she treated me but I asked if we could meet up and she said although she really misses me and loves me and wants too, she cant go behind her boyfriends back to meet up because he doesn’t want her too.
I talked to her a day ago and we talked for a few hours and when I mentioned that I know I’ve changed she said she believes me now but wants to see how it goes with her new boyfriend. She was even sad when I said I have to get off the phone.
I’m not sure where to go from here, I want to ask her in the future to meet up again but I’m not sure when the right time is or anything around those lines.

Advice? thanks.

EGR Team Member: Amor

June 10, 2016 at 2:17 am

Hi Brandon,

don’t ask her yet.. You have to establish that you’re not just there waiting for her. You have your own life too and if she chose to go into a new relationship instead of giving each other space to heal individually then you should give her the space now to think about you and to let the honeymoon phase fade too and of course to continue to work on yourself. You could tell her you need to have space from everything to heal but don’t tell her until when and then be active in your life and active in social media before reaching out and starting out as friends again.. don’t ask her out right ahead. Build rapport first.

Robin

June 8, 2016 at 12:35 pm

Me and my girlfriend was togheter 1 year and the last month we fight the whole month, then she told me she loved me, 2 days after she told me that she told me that she didn’t have any feelings for me and she had moved on and stuff like that, i started texting her for about a month but she tolt me the same thing over and over and sometimes she didn’t even answer, then my cousin died and i tolt her that and she feelt bad, but 2 days after he died i stopped writing to her 3 weeks, but she didn’t even text me asking me how i’m doing or nothing, then it was our 1 year day, i wrote to her she answered 1 text than stopped answer me, and it has gone like this in the past 3 months, then about a week ago i called her and asked her to come out with me she told me that you have a girlfriend and stuff like that why do you wanna see me? i tolt her no i don’t have a girlfriend and i wanna see you to hang out, she told me it’s a bad idea beacuse you will thing of it as a date and think it will be better between us and it’s a way back togheter i told her no i just wanna hang out, and we did, we was haning out the whole week and she looked at my phone every time i took it up and asked who i was writing with and stuff like that, she always looked at me when we were out with here friends and was always happy, then on the last day,(friday) whe saw each other 2 times that day we got back home started texting 6a’clock in the morning and we both said that we are going to hang out tomorrow to, than when i woke up she hadn’t called me so i called her the whole day, then i saw on a guys instagram, he had done a V❤ and she tolt me that they only were friends before and they havent even known each other more than 2 weeks, rhen when she came home i asked her why she haven’t picked up? She told me i don’t wanna see you alone, so i asked her how loong then have been going on togheter she told me rhey aren’t togheter they just talking so i wrote so much bad thing’s saying i wish you’re going to die i want you to be dead and stuff like that, she told me they are going to be togheter then she tolt me they just talking, then the next day i told her i wanna see her talk to her and know why she was out with me (her ex) then the next day beeing with another man, she told me that she could see me and talk about it, then after an hour she told me that the guy don’t want her to see me and stuff like that, i called him and asked him why he told me beacuse you said bad things to her, i told him it was beacuse she was with me yesterday and the whole week and now she’s with you, so he said i wanna know to why she did it so we were gonna see her all 3 of us, then he just texted me, she don’t wanna see you, and 2 days later they are togheter in a relationship, and i just found out that she hasn’t even let him kissed her yet, she’s been with 2 guys in her life, me and her ex, and it took me 3 months of talking to her just to get her to come out and hang out with me, and 4 months to get in a relationship with her, she has some problems, she has adhd, borderlain and depression i dond’t know if it can push her to do stupid thing’s, beacuse this isn’t her she would never ever be in a relationship with someone she’s only known for 3 weeks and she only was writing with him 2 days before they got in a relationship, and why dosen’t she let him kiss her if they are in a relationship, is it beacuse she dosen’t like him or beacuse she thinks of me? Or that she knows that this isn’t her and it’s wrong she have never done this before she was always the girl who pushed people away whrn they got close to her bow she’s in a relationship with a guy she’s known for 3 weeks but she hang out with me the last week then the last day i found out she started talking to him and they only talked 2 days then got togheter can her borderlain and the other stuff make her feel something different?

EGR Team Member: Amor

June 10, 2016 at 1:49 am

Hi Robin,

ok.. You need to stop texting her now. It’s making things worse for you because she’s protecting her current relationship. Whether they’re serious or not, she still doesn’t want to talk so it’s better to start no contact. But you have to apologize first about what you said to her and then tell her that you agree that you both of you needs space from each other and then do no contact process.. Be more focused in building a new daily routine and improving your life, so that you regain balance.. I think you should do it for 45 days and then slowly rebuild rapport with but you should start as friends only because if she sees that as an attempt to get her back then she probably wouldn’t reply to you.. So, you have to appear like you’ve moved on through your posts..

Lukas

June 8, 2016 at 6:18 am

Hello EGR team,

My Ex and I broke it off in November of last year. At first things between us were incredibly rough, but after a few months we got back on talking terms. We would chat off and on throughout the weeks just kind of friendly wise, but then around a month and a half ago we started chatting daily. And things began to seem like they were going great, we were even hanging out quite frequently. And I redeveloped feeling for her. Then about two weeks ago she went out of town to visit family, and I didn’t hear from her much. When she got back, I went over to her place to tell her how I felt and she turned me away saying that she was really tired and wanted some alone time. So I left. Then the next day, we barely talked much, and I felt like sometime was off. Then when I saw her the next day, she told me she was going on a date with someone else… Hearing this crushed me. After that we stopped texting for a couple days. Then today I went back to her place begging for another chance, but she shot me down. Saying she was more interested in the other guy, and wasn’t interested in me. She also she that there no chance for us anymore, but she would like to stay friends. I’m devastated, and don’t know what to do… Can you help??

EGR Team Member: Amor

June 10, 2016 at 1:22 am

Hi Lukas,

Try to do no contact. Start no contact now, and then start to be more productive. Improve yourself. Have a make over, meet new people, go to the gym and go out more with old friends and then be active in posting those activities in social media.Try to do it for 30 days before texting her again and slowly rebuild rapport while continuing what you started during nc.
Lukas

June 10, 2016 at 4:41 pm

Okay I have started NC. But she is already starting to seriously talk to that guy. Will 30 days no contact be too long?
EGR Team Member: Amor

June 12, 2016 at 3:23 pm

you would appear like you’re chasing her after you knew that.. So, it’s better if you start nc and improve yourself, so you have a fighting chance.
Lukas

June 14, 2016 at 2:02 am

My ex and I also aren’t friends on Facebook. Should I add her as a friend but never contact her through it? That way she’ll be able to see all my active posting?
EGR Team Member: Amor

June 14, 2016 at 3:42 pm

not during no contact.. just make your posts public for her to see if she checks your profile

Adam H.

June 7, 2016 at 7:27 am

There’s a lot to my relationship/breakup. We dated on and off in high school and then were together for 4 1/2 years straight. For the last year or so, I treated her really badly. Became abusive, mostly emotionally, mentally, and verbally, but also a bit physically. Anyway, for a long time we planned on getting married, talked about raising kids, etc. We lived together for almost all of our relationship. I knew that I was hurting her for the last few months, and was working to improve myself and the relationship. When she broke up with me on March 31st, she said just lost the desire to keep trying in our relationship. I did not take it well at all when she broke up with me(she almost broke up with me 2 weeks prior, but I begged her into letting me change). I begged and blew up her phone, got angry and spiteful, etc. We continued to live together though for logistic reasons and tried to be friends. She told me she needed to figure out who she was and stuff. She hasn’t not been in a relationship for more than about a month since she was 13 or 14.(she’s 23, I’m 22). We lived together for 2 weeks post breakup, until I went crazy one day and got arrested. A few days before I got arrested, she told me that she had had three way sex and a relationship with her best friend(a girl, who she had been hooking up with for a couple months while we were together, but we were polyamorous so that wasn’t a problem) and the friends boyfriend(they dating/dated for as long as me and my ex). A week into the triad relationship, her girlfriend ended it bc my ex and her boyfriend were getting too close. Well, my ex kept having sex with and dating the boyfriend for a week after that. During that week, my ex revealed that the best friend had had another girlfriend for 7 months and that the best friend was sleeping with my ex too. She revealed this to the boyfriend, and he had no idea it was going on. My ex said he was “devastated”. The best friend had been cheating on him. Anyway, the thing with my ex and the boyfriend stopped bc my ex felt bad about it. So, a few days after she stops having sex, I got arrested. Since that day, April 17th, to now, my ex has been living with that guy, the boyfriend. She is now dating him and having sex with him a lot. Idk when they started hooking up again, but I know that her best friend is not cool with it. Worse, not only are they 2 living together, they are talking constantly, saying “I love you, I miss you, when are you coming home/I’m coming home” already. It’s barely just been over 2 months since we ended our over 4 year relationship. I know my ex was unhappy for a long while, but still, we were very serious and for a long time also very deeply in love. I don’t know what to make of her new relationship. And it being so serious? This new guy is very different physically(I’m in better shape than him) and in personality than me. My ex said she doesn’t want to talk to me or have me in her life “now or ever, depending where [she’s] at”. We were only talking to work out logistics(accounts, possessions, dog). Said its “not safe for [her] to see me in person for multiple reasons”(but not physically unsafe, she specified). What’s that mean? I asked her 2 separate times if she was happy now and she didn’t acknowledge my question. What’s that mean? She said she doesn’t want me to try to get back together with her, but she still cares about me and my well being. Also, she dropped off our dog the other day while I was gone, I had left her a small gift bag with a picture I colored for her and a couple things she had been mentioning she wanted(nail polish and a gameboy). i was surprised to see that she actually took my gift to her. I feel like I’m getting mixed messages, but I’m also worried i’m reading into small things too much. What should I think? Is it weird that she’s already playing house with a new guy? Even though they’re acting head over heels for each other? She is pansexual and STRONGLY prefers women over men. Is it crazy to think that she’s trying to replace me(and our dog) with this new guy? To fill the relationship/love/attention/etc void? And to displace her post breakup pain?

EGR Team Member: Amor

June 9, 2016 at 11:53 am

Hi Adam,
it is really complicated because I’m not really familiar when how and how a polyamorous relationship becomes serious.. because, I don’t want to offend you but if it really a polyamorous relationship, why can’t you join their relationship?

ok let’s sag she got tired of you.. then the greater possibility you have is to do no contact and improve yourself emotionally, socially and physically
Adam H.

June 14, 2016 at 4:39 am

I have been doing no contact since last Sunday, so it’s been just over a week. On Thursday she emailed me about an account we share and at the end thanked me for the present she picked up from me on last Sunday. Said “you didn’t have to do that and it was very nice.” Does that sound like it invites a response? I did not respond. How long should I do NC without giving her too much time with the new BF?
EGR Team Member: Amor

June 14, 2016 at 3:53 pm

I think you should still do 30 days.. because right now, it’s not about her having more time with him because she already chose him.. It’s about how she would regret leaving you and you healing and improving yourself.. So, do 30 days.. and make the most out of it for yourself.. The more you improve yourself, the greater your chance of making her realize she misses you.

Stephen

June 7, 2016 at 3:19 am

I recently went through a breakup of my girlfriend of a year and a half because of an incident I had with depression and bad thoughts where I threatened myself. She during that week following was indecisive about what she wanted, I am seeking help for my problem now and want her back because I love her more than anything. She hooked up and began dating her long time friend no less than 24 hours after her breakup with me(they talked while we were deciding what we wanted). This comes at the end of the semester, when we are back in school in 3 months. Should i give her the 3 months as the NC period because once we are back in school we see each other every day. Or do you think 3 months is too long of a time to wait. The guy seems to be moving quickly but idk if its a rebound.

EGR Team Member: Amor

June 9, 2016 at 11:00 am

Hi Stephen,

how long were you deciding about your relationship? was it months? But I think he’s a rebound..unless they have long been fallig for each other.. I think three months is too long.. I think you should either do 21 or 30 days.. you have to work on being more emotionally stable and having your own life..so that she wilk see that you managed in your own and your past being depressed

Tyson

June 6, 2016 at 4:20 pm

Been a rough day a mutual friend just text me so did you see the new guy on her Facebook Paige instantly I jumped on and saw the photos. My heart pretty much broke. I gathered myself and read this over again. I don’t know if any of it will work but just reading your advice calmed me and thank you for that. He’s only a couple weeks old probably 6 dates in so it is what it is. Sucks but going to do my best to stay calm. Only 4 days in on no contact and she had wrote twice. Did like a pic of hers wile I was there just to remind her I’m here. Hopefully didn’t mess it up.

EGR Team Member: Amor

June 8, 2016 at 3:46 pm

Hi Tyson,

it’s better if you stick to no contact and don’t like her pics again.. make her miss you, and make her realize you’re not always there to wait while she can’t make up her mind.. focus on improving yourself and being active in posting social media

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