How To Make Your Ex Girlfriend Attracted To You Again


The action or power of evoking interest, pleasure, or liking for someone or something.

It’s a powerful force.

So powerful in fact that I am willing to bet that if you can master it you can take a huge step in winning your ex girlfriend back.


How rude of me.

I haven’t even introduced myself yet.

My name is Chris Seiter and I am the founder of Ex Girlfriend Recovery,

Jennifer Chris W-020 copy

Now, most of you are probably already aware of who I am but for those of you who aren’t I am probably the most important person that you will stumble across in the next few months.


Because I am going to act as your personal guardian angel for getting your girlfriend back.


Whenever you have a question about your ex girlfriend I am going to pop up on your left shoulder like this,

guy standing

And guide you through the situation.

How am I going to do that you ask?

Simple, through this website and my E-Book.

Whenever you have a question pertaining to anything related to your ex I want you to come here and find the answer because it is here.

But enough of that.

Let’s get to the good stuff.

Lets talk about attraction.

What This Page Covers

This page is all about attraction.

Specifically, how to use attraction to get your ex girlfriend back.

Look, I don’t think it’s any secret that right now you are not your ex girlfriends favorite person in the world. My hope is that you can use this page to move from a position where your ex girlfriend feels little or no attraction towards you to a position where your ex girlfriend feels A LOT of attraction towards you.


Maybe I should put together another cool little graphic for this.

attraction graphic

Ok, you see how the graphic above has two faces on it?

  1. A disgusted/angry looking face
  2. A happy/in love face

Did you also notice how these two faces each have labels?

  • Point A
  • Point B

Do you see where I am going with this?

My hope is that you use this page to go take your ex girlfriend from Point A which is supposed to represent how she feels right now to Point B which is supposed to represent how she is going to feel about you after you implement the strategies on the page.

In other words, like I said above, you are not your ex girlfriends favorite person at the moment.

However, after you implement this guide there is going to be a strong chance that you will be.

Now, in order for that to happen you are going to put in some work.

Are you prepared to do that?

What Kind Of Work Will You Have To Do To Make Point B A Reality?

Well, that’s where the meat of this page comes into play.

I redid my fun little graphic for you so you can get an idea of the work that is required.

attraction graphic

You probably saw that graphic and went.


Don’t worry, I am going to explain everything to you.

Do you see all those words and phrases in between Point A and Point B?

That is basically all the work you have to do to make your ex girlfriend UBER attracted to you again.

  • Understanding The Levels Of Attraction
  • Settling The Age Old Debate Of Looks Vs. Personality
  • The Story Telling Effect
  • Balancing Health, Wealth And Relationships

Sounds pretty simple when you put it like that, huh?


Sorry to burst your bubble but it’s anything but simple.

In fact, finding a way to master all of these things is quite challenging and will probably take me something crazy like 7,000 or 8,000 words just to explain the basic principles.

Now, for those of you looking for a shortcut or a way to master each one of these tactics in record time I suggest taking a look at my system,

Ex Girlfriend Recovery PRO

And for those of you who aren’t interested in the system brace yourself because this is going to be a long one.

The Different Levels Of Attraction

The first thing I want to talk to you about isn’t really a tactic that you can implement.

I know that sounds weird since I just want on this huge rant about how you have to do all of these things to go from “Point A” to “Point B” but I need you to understand that there are different levels of attraction.

Hmm… since I am on fire lately with the infographics I figured I would make another one.

Here you go!

attraction scale

This is what I like to call my scale of attractiveness.

Above I gave you what the definition of attraction was.

Do you remember it?

The action or power of evoking interest, pleasure, or liking for someone or something.

I guess what I am trying to get at here is that you can be attracted to something and not be head over heels in love with it.

Do you get what I am saying?


Ok, well that’s kind of why I created that scale.

Lets go over that now.

Basically there are five levels of attraction with each level meaning different things. As you can see I put different faces to represent what the level means.

Notice that there is a huge difference between the faces of level one and level five.

Level One: Anger… Hate… The Dark Side

meme face 1
This one isn’t that hard to describe because it’s what you are experiencing now.

You want your ex girlfriend back she doesn’t want to take you back.

You try to apologize to her and she isn’t having it.

Heck, you may have even tried a big grand gesture to get back on her good side and that failed.

What’s the best way I can explain this?


Ok, I can’t believe I am about to admit this to you but lately my wife and I have been watching that ridiculous show “The Bachelor.”

Well, on this show there is a contestant who fell in love with a guy but the guy wasn’t feeling the same way.

All I remember is that the guy just kept saying,

“I feel like you are way ahead of me… I am behind… I am behind.”

I have never seen a girl go from being so in love to actually saying,

“I hate him… I hate him…”

So fast.

I mean, this literally happened within minutes of him breaking up with her.

In fact, I even think she made that face…


So, that’s level one.

Let’s move on to level two.

Level Two: Indifference… I Couldn’t Care Less


Ah, the face of indifference.

I think it can be argued that level two of the scale of attractiveness is the worst to get because it can mean one of two things.

Thing One: I Don’t Really Care About Him Anymore

In other words, your ex girlfriend has gotten over you completely and doesn’t see any type of romantic connection with you at all in the future.

When she thinks about you she just can’t imagine herself with you.

In my opinion this is the kiss of death when it comes to getting your girlfriend back.

HOWEVER, I will say that it is rare for a woman to completely get over you immediately after a breakup so you always have that going for you.

Thing Two: I Am Just Going To Act Like I Don’t Care About Him Anymore

Why would a woman do this?

Simple, she wants to see how you are going to react.

Is it a bit childish?


Do men fall for it.


There is the idea that a woman is going to get in her mind after a breakup. She is going to say,

“He is going to fall over himself trying to get me back because I was the best thing that ever happened to him.”

Pretty presumptuous of her, huh?

So, her way of testing her little idea out is to act like she doesn’t care about you when in fact she does.

Now, this begs an interesting question.

How can you tell if she is faking it or she really does mean it?

Usually someone who fakes like they don’t care about you can do really well at the faking at first but over time they can’t do it anymore.

In other words, wait and see if she holds up the charade.

Level Three: Friends… You Mean Friend Zone


Are you starting to see how the attractiveness scale works?

How every single level slowly amps up the attractiveness?

Well, what we are trying to accomplish here is to take you from level one to level five and in order to do that you have to work the levels one by one.

A lot of men are able to reach this level.

The friend level or when you look at it in romantic terms “The Friend Zone.”

It always drives me nuts when I read through the comments here on Ex Girlfriend Recovery and find a comment from a guy that ends like this,

Look, all I want is to be friends with her. I just want to get back to that level.


So your telling me that your end goal is to be in the friend zone?

That doesn’t sound very good to me.

Look, I have this theory.

I think when people set very high (yet achievable) goals they strive towards greater things. In other words, if you set your goal as being just getting your ex girlfriend to be friends with you then you probably won’t aim much higher than that.

But look at level five on the attractiveness scale.

Look at the love pouring from those eyes (pun intended.)

If you set your goal as that then you are going to strive to break way out of the friend zone.

Heck, you probably won’t stop trying to get your ex girlfriend to be more attracted to you even once you do have her back.

Level Four: More Than Friends

little kid happy


The more than friends level.

How can I describe this one to you?

Lets say that you and your ex girlfriend are talking to each other for a few months after the breakup and things are progressing nicely.

There is flirting from your side…

Flirting from her side…

Flirting all around!

As a result of this flirting attraction is being built and your ex girlfriend considers you to be more than friends.

Think back to the moment before you started dating your ex girlfriend.

Do you remember what it was like?

The time before the two of you were considered “official?”

It’s that nice little limbo land where both of you look at each other and know that the potential to date is definitely there but the two of you haven’t progressed things to that level.

When I look at this level of attraction from a birds eye view I can’t really find much wrong with it. In other words, advancing to this level is a good thing. However, if I were to take a good hard look and try to find a flaw with it, it would be the fact that things aren’t official.

Something about titles can make all the difference.

I think there is a case that can be made to say that it’s a mentality thing but I think when you look at women they are attracted to commitment.

Lets look at this from an evolutionary perspective.

Women are given the task of giving birth to a child. Once they give birth to this child it can be extremely hard to do things alone so they would probably prefer to be in a family unit.

(You know, it’s that whole survival in numbers bit.)

So, as a result women like to put titles on things and these titles hold attraction value.

Think of it like this.

Generally speaking a woman is going to find her boyfriend more attractive than a normal guy that she knows. Oh, and this can get even bigger.

A woman will find a husband more attractive than a boyfriend.

Lets stay with this line of thinking as we move on to our fifth and final level.

Level Five: In Love

love meme face

This is the fifth and final level of the attraction scale.

I am sure that this isn’t going to require a lot of explanation from me BUT I like being thorough so I am going to explain this in detail.

Being “in love” encompasses a lot of things.

The love a woman feels for a boyfriend…

A husband…

A child…

A movie…

A TV show…

Yes, it is very possible for a woman to feel love for something that’s not a person.

Now, obviously we are focusing on the “in love” feeling women get for people, specifically you.

So, what’s the difference between level four and five?

Well, while your ex girlfriend is feeling a lot of attraction in level four it pails in comparison to the attraction felt in level five.

Think of a mother who has a newborn child.

That mother will do absolutely anything for that child.

Heck, she will risk her life in some cases.

THAT is the type of love we are dealing with here.

Looks Vs. Personality (The Age Old Debate)

looks vs personality

Looks get you in the door but personality keeps you in the room.

This is my favorite quote about this particular topic.

So many men out there think that all they have to do to attract a woman is to become more attractive in their outward appearance. While I cannot deny the fact that most woman will prefer a good looking man it isn’t all it’s made out to be.

As many of you know, I am the founder for both Ex Girlfriend Recovery and Ex Boyfriend Recovery.

I find myself constantly telling women that when it comes to men it’s around 60% looks and 40% personality. In other words, you can be dating the most beautiful woman in the world but if she has the personality of a doorknob then eventually you will lose interest.

Granted, the rate you lose interest will probably be less the more attractive the girl is but you are a human being and even you have your limits.

Well, that’s how we look at looks and personality as men.

But how do women look at it?

Are they different?

Is it 60% looks and 40% personality with them?


Women put more emphasis on the personality portion of a human being. After all, women are more likely to be looking for a long term relationship as compared to men. However, you can’t discount the fact that looks do matter to women.

So, if I were put the looks vs personality debate on a percentage scale for women I would put it at 50% looks and 50% personality.

Now, a lot of you may be wondering where I came up with that number.

The truth is that I did what I always do when I don’t know something, I asked my wife.

My Wife’s Opinion Of The Looks Vs. Personality Debate (For Women)

Sometimes when I am writing one of these massive articles and I want to get another opinion on things I turn around in my chair and ask my wife.

Now, I feel I have a pretty good gauge on how men think since I am a man but sometimes the mind of a woman is beyond me. Luckily I am married to one. Anyways, the looks vs. personality debate was something I thought I would get her take on.

She had some pretty interesting insights that I would like to share with you.

But first…

I am not naive.

I realize that some of you may be sitting there and thinking,

“It’s ok to ask a woman but how do we even know what she’s talking about? What if you are lying about your wife being beautiful?”

Ah, I thought we might hit this little snag.

Since I do understand the mind of a man and I do understand that you are probably more likely to listen to a beautiful woman as opposed to an ugly one let me give my wife’s qualifications to you,

She used to be a model,


She looks great in white,

Screen Shot 2015-09-10 at 11.34.59 AM

Oh, and she married this doofus,


Ok, now that the qualifications are out of the way lets get to the insight that she can bring to you about the looks vs. personality debate for women.

When I asked her to give me a percentage of looks vs. personality when it came to women she gave me a simple answer.

Every woman is different.

UGH don’t you hate that?

Don’t worry fellas I asked her to dive deeper.

“Lets pretend we are stereotyping all women and you had to give one answer.”

In typical woman fashion she gave two,

“Hmm… I would have to say that it’s either 50% looks vs 50% personality or 40% looks vs. 60% personality”

She did make sure to re-iterate the fact that every woman is different so you can’t just count on the stereotyped answer that she gave but no matter how you slice it personality is a much bigger factor for women than it is for men.

I suppose it makes sense if you really think about it.

I mean, all you have to do is walk around the mall one day to see that.

It’s not uncommon to see unattractive men walking around with attractive women but is there any other insight that my wife can bring to the table?

Let’s ask her.

“Sure, I think age is a factor. The younger the women the more emphasis they put on looks. The older the woman the more emphasis they put on personality. However, looks will always play a role even for women.”

This statement falls in line with my theory on age and maturity.

Basically it works like this.

As a woman gets older she begins to learn what she wants out of a relationship (and what she wants almost never aligns with a better looking guy.) In fact, in most women’s experience it’s the better looking guys that treat them poorly.

Again though, you have to understand that looks will always be a factor even for women so it’s not like we can completely discount it.

Anyways, above I mentioned that for women it’s a 50% looks vs 50% personality split.

However, after thinking on it a bit I think I would like to amend that a tiny bit to make way for that age factor that my wife was talking about.

I want to make 15 years old our starting point for this since I know we do have some high schoolers reading this site for advice.

Lets say that from 15 years old to 22 years old the looks versus personality is split for women at 50/50.

However, from 23 years old on that looks versus personality split changes from 50/50 to 40/60.

Do you get it?

  • 15 years old – 22 years old = 50% Looks Vs. 50% Personality
  • 23 years old+ = 40% Looks Vs. 60% Personality

So, this begs an interesting question.

What do you work on?

I mean, we are here to learn how to become more attractive for our ex girlfriends so what do you spend your time working on?




What Do You Work On? Looks or Personality?


How about both?

I like to use the analogy of tennis a lot since I am really big into tennis and it’s such a complicated sport which makes it perfect to use this analogy for.

You will hear tennis players talking a lot about their own personal “game.”

For example, if we were playing a tennis match and you beat me and I walked up to you and said,

“Man, my game needs a lot of work…”

What do you think I mean by that?

Well, I would be talking about the way I played. More specifically, the tennis tools that I have in my tennis toolbox.

For example, you have the,

  • Serve
  • Return
  • Forehand
  • Backhand
  • Volley
  • Overhead
  • You Get The Idea

A professional tennis player is always looking for a way to have a complete game or a game that is so strong that it has no weaknesses and the only way to achieve that is give an equal amount of time to mastering every aspect of the game (I listed off the basic ones above.)

Well, tennis analogy aside I want you to be a complete person.

In other words, I want you to dedicate time improving not just looks as opposed to personality but both.

How can we do that though?

Well, the obvious answer is to focus on the holy trinity and no I am not talking about anything biblical here I am talking about health, wealth and relationships but I talk about that extensively in the Ex Girlfriend Recovery PRO system and I cover it later on in this article.

What I want to do for right now is give you specific instructions on how to improve your looks (to a woman’s liking) and personality (again, to a woman’s liking.)

Lets start with looks.

How To Improve Your Looks

I always like talking about improving looks because it’s actually quite easy if you have one thing on your side, determination.

Determination will never betray you.

Besides, when you are dealing with an ex girlfriend there are a lot of things that are out of your control. However, looks is NOT one of those things. You are the master of your fate when it comes to your looks and since I am married to a pretty good looking gal who has set me down the path of righteousness when it comes to looks and women I feel I can add some good insight to this conversation.

Ok, now the thing you are going to learn about me is that I have no problem making a fool out of myself so while most experts out there would be scared to tell you something like this I am not.

Before I met my wife I didn’t really pay much attention to how I dressed.

In fact, if you want to see a picture of what I looked like before I met here take a look below,


Pretty pathetic, huh?

Yup, I totally took a selfie… in my room… trying to look cool.

Not very sophisticated.

Ok, now I want you to take a look at how I dress now due to my wife’s influence,

Jennifer Chris W-010 copy

Do you see the difference?

This is the kind of transformation that I want you to have.

So, there are a few things that we need to talk about in order to make this possible.

Lets talk about the most basic concept of looking good.

Getting In Shape

What’s that famous phrase?

When you look good, you feel good and when you feel good, you do good.

I think Arnold Schwarzenegger once said that.

I can’t believe I just quoted “Tha Ahnold.”

As sad as that is there is definitely truth to that little phrase.

So, here is what I want you to do. I want you to get in shape but not just any type of shape I want you to get in the best shape of your life. I always find that these type of things work better when you have a goal so lets set one for you.

What is the one part of a body that women find the most attractive?

The chest?

The shouders?

The arms?

The abs?

What’s your guess?




(Geez your not very talkative)

tyler durden

Since we are all men here who have problem seen the movie “Fight Club” I figured it would be fitting to put in Tyler Durden’s abs because I know when I saw that movie I literally thought to myself,

“Dude this guy is RIPPED. I want to be as ripped as him one day.”

So, here is my fun little challenge to you.

I want you to get Tyler Durden’s abs. I want you to get in that good of a shape.

Let’s make that our goal.

Ok, let’s move on.

To Beard Or Not To Beard… That Is The Question

Just as looks versus personality has it’s endless debate there is also another huge debate raging.

Beard versus no beard.

Hey, I’m not going to lie some guys can pull off the bearded look.

This guy…

This guy…

this guy 2

And this guy…

man beard

All have what it takes to pull off the bearded look. However, did you notice anyting interesting about the three pictures I posted above?


Anything at all?

How about the fact that none of these men had a full grown Hagrid beard,


You see, when it comes to the beard vs. no beard debate I have it on good authority that most women do not like beards. HOWEVER, they do find a bit of stubble attractive (if the guy can pull it off.)

In other words, more often than not they are always going to prefer a guy without a beard over the guy with one.

Just to make my point I figured I would post a few pictures of you so you can see for yourself,

Jim carrey leto beard wolverine

I think you get the idea.

Lets talk about our next big thing when it comes to looks, your wardrobe.


Sophistication is the name of the game when it comes to dressing yourself up.

Take a look at the two pictures I posted of myself above…

Actually, you know what?

I will just post them side by side for you below to save you some time from scrolling up.


Ok, so look at what I am wearing on the left compared to the right.

BIG difference, huh?

In the picture on the left I look I am wearing what someone who lives in a trailer park would wear. In the picture on the right I look like I am wearing something a model would wear.

Now, am I saying that you need to go out and buy a suit to get your ex girlfriend back?

No, but I am saying that you need to start dressing like a man who looks like a sophisticated member of society.

So, will you need to buy new clothes?


But what’s that old phrase?

Clothes make the man

As much as I hate to say it I honestly feel more confident when I know I am dressed well and you will too.

Lets take a look at a few men who have great style.

well dressed 3 well dressed 4 well dressed

This is the kind of look that women find attractive and trust me when I say that she will be blown away when you show up for a date (use the PRO guide to get the date) looking like this.

Ok, so now that I feel I have covered looks to a pretty in depth extent lets turn our attention to the personality portion.

How To Improve Your Personality

Improving your personality…

I suppose the first step to improving ones personality would lie in understanding what personality is.

The dictionary defines personality as,

The combination of characteristics or qualities that form an individual’s distinctive character.

So, lets have some fun with this and create an avatar of the perfect personality that a woman would want.

Remember, all a personality is are characteristics or qualities that you posses. So, if we were to create “the perfect man” what kind of qualities would his personality have?

well dressed

That’s a lot of characteristics, huh?

So, we have,

Good listener

  • Funny
  • Good with people
  • Family Oriented
  • Charming
  • Dependable
  • Faithful
  • Generous
  • Passionate
  • Confident (but not arrogant)
  • Positive
  • Mature
  • Integrity
  • Respectful
  • Smart
  • Thoughtful
  • Kind

My question to you is this.

Are you all of these things?

Do you make her laugh?

Were you good with people around her?

Did she see a future with you due to how family oriented you are?

Did you charm her?

Could she depend on you?

Were you faithful?



How about confident? Were you confident without being arrogant?

How positive were you? Was she overcome with how negative you could be sometimes?

Did you handle the situations you found yourself in as a couple in a mature way?

How about integrity? Did you always do the right thing?

Were you respectful of not just her but her friends, family and other people?

Did she view you as smart?

What about thoughtful? Did you remember her birthday?

Finally were you kind to her?

If you can say yes to all of these questions then congratulations, you are the perfect man.

However, since the two of you broke up I am betting that you weren’t the perfect man. In fact, I am betting that your personality could use some work.

But how?

How can we convince an ex girlfriend that you are all of these things?

Well, before we get to that you have to actually BE all of these things.

So, what I want you to do is write down the qualities above that you are lacking and I want you to do things that will give you credibility in all of them.

I will give you a few examples.

Lets say that you read the list above and determine that you are really lacking in three qualities,

  1. You aren’t very funny
  2. You aren’t very generous
  3. You aren’t very positive

So, in order to become those things you decide to do three things.

  1. Take a class to become a comedian
  2. Donate to a charitable cause
  3. Read a book about looking at the world in a more positive way

I know it sounds goofy but doing these things are going to help us in a very big way due to what I am about to teach you next.

The Story Telling Effect

boom meme

I want to stick with these three things that we are going to improve upon in your personality and ask you a simple question.

How are you going to let your ex girlfriend know that you are different this time around?

Well, you are going to do this by subtly working them into an interesting story.

Have you ever noticed that people always seem to respond to stories as opposed to you just telling them things.

Why do you think the movies are so successful?

TV shows?

Here is the simple fact. Women like stories and if you are able to master the art of telling stories then you hold a very powerful skill because at the end of the day when a woman is going to bed it’s the stories from her days that she can recall and if you can somehow hijack her mind to think of the story you tell you are going to get her to think about you.

So, what does all this mean?

Well, it means that you are going to have to master the art of telling stories. But more than that you are going to have to master the art of telling a story and working in positive things about yourself.

How do we do that?

Look above at the three things in your personality that you were supposed to improve upon,

  1. Being more funny
  2. Being more generous
  3. Being more positive

You took some pretty drastic steps to improve upon those three things and that will make for a good story.

But how can you work them into a story and make the story interesting.

Watch and learn,

A few weeks ago I was talking to my brother and I happened to make a joke that he didn’t laugh at.


“What’s wrong?” I asked.


“Dude, I love you to death but you are not funny.”


Now, the thing you have to understand about my brother and I is the fact that we have always be competitive. Even from a young age I can remember challenging him to a push up contest (which I won) so I decided that I was going to make him eat his words.


“I will bet you $100 that I can make you laugh. Name the time and place” I said.


“Ok, how about next week. I will give you exactly 5 minutes to try to make me laugh. Not a smile… not a snicker… I have to actually laugh my ass off” he replies.




So, I had exactly one week to come up with the best joke of my life. I did research online…


I recalled some of the things that made me laugh but nothing really made a huge impression on me.


Days went by and I started worrying that I was going to be out $100 so I made a drastic decision.


I was going to go to comedian camp…


You see, I had found this stand up comedy class that I could go to for an hour that only charged $89. I figured that after this class I would come up with the funniest joke of my life.


So, I went into class taking notes and ready to learn and I really think I learned some good stuff in that hour that I thought I could use to make my brother laugh his butt off.


The moment finally came.


The week was up and it was time to tell my brother the joke.


So, I told it…


All I got was this face….


“Are you serious? You don’t find that funny?”


“Nope… is that the best you got?” he says.


“Jesus… I went and took a class for this and everything.”


“Wait… you took a class for this?”






I won myself $100… though I suppose the comedy class was $89 so I only ended up winning $11 but it was totally worth it so now I can make the claim that I am officially funny!

Do you see how this story was interesting, engaging and worked in the fact that you are funny?

This is the kind of story that you need to tell your ex girlfriend to display your personality.

If you want to be perceived as being smarter then tell a story that paints you in a smart light.

If you want to be perceived as more generous then tell the story of how you donated to a charitable cause.

You get the idea.

The Health, Wealth & Relationships Balance

So, I am going to give you a play out of my playbook but be prepared because this play is quite possibly the most powerful thing that I have in my arsenal.

In fact, it’s so powerful that I was able to get this woman to adore me,


I like to call it the health, wealth and relationships balance.

You see, in my time on this earth I have learned one thing about life.

It’s the fact that I am never happy if my life is out of balance.

What do I mean by that?

There are three main aspects that you can divide the most important things in life into.

  1. Health
  2. Wealth
  3. Relationships

Now, I have talked exclusively about the “holy trinity” in Ex Girlfriend Recovery PRO so if you want to learn more about how to master the holy trinity (health, wealth and relationships) I suggest you look there. What I want to talk about today is the idea of balancing these three aspects.

A while ago I learned that if you can find a way to balance these three aspects in your life you will be much more attractive to the others around you.

Let me give you an example.

Imagine that you are in the best shape of your life (and it shows with your new six pack.) On top of being in the best shape of your life you get a promotion at work and now earn around $240,000 a year. You have also cultivated a lot of relationships with friends and have a great relationship with your parents.

All in all when a woman looks at you she isn’t going to go.

“Ew he is a bum…”

She is going to go,

“Whoa… he is a catch.”

This is the power of balancing health, wealth and relationships.

So, how do you go about doing that?

Well, it’s all about dedicating an equal amount of time to each aspect of life.

In other words, you need to dedicated 33.3333333% of time to health….

33.3333333% of time to wealth…

And 33.3333333% of time to relationships…

Let’s make a pie graph to illustrate this,

graph 3

That’s pretty much it.

If you can find a way to balance these three things then it’s the equivalent of striking oil.

Oh, and I assure you it’s a lot harder than it sounds.


Written by EGR team mate

Chris Seiter

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84 Comments on "How To Make Your Ex Girlfriend Attracted To You Again"

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So we dated for 5 months and she broke up with me sayings mean things. Our last fight she stated “i don’t want to tak to you. ever.” This was right before her birthday so i had one of her gifts i couldn’t return, so i mailed to her she called me happy that i remembered and said it was nice of me. A few days later i messaged her and got a positive response. A day later we talked and she told me she was going to the Yankee game with a guy friend i never heard of, but… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Mark,

why not try the no contact rule and the advice above?


sir, my gf want to do brkup now, but i dont want do brkup with her she told me that now, i dont love u sir plz help me to get my gf back…….plzzzzzz its a request

EGR Team Member: Amor
EGR Team Member: Amor

I’m going to assume you’re already broken up now.. are you going to do the advice above?

Hi Chris, My Girlfriend and I fought before about a week. After that I pleaded her and said that I can’t live without her and all. She said she don’t feeling anything for me. She says she feels bad for me, I treat her very well now, wait for her message at night, and she said she feel guilty when I treat her good and still she couldn’t feel love for me. I said I will wait for you take your time. But I am afraid that she will be busy in her work/job and will not get time for… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Om,

do you want to try the advice above?

I’m wanting to start the journey back into a relationship with my “ex” and need some suggestions about the daunting roadblock ahead. I made a few mistakes right after “the break” began by trying to get her back right away. In hopes she’d come around, I decided to give her space. (unknowingly instituting the no contact rule) During this time I became more active and social, which got my mind off things. She was doing the same and became really driven about that. Now 4 months down the road and after both of us dating other people, I finally feel… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Michael,

did you greet her last Christmas?

Hello, I have been with my fiancee for about 4 years. 9 months after we met i enlisted into the navy to get a better grip on my life and improve my self for school. She was supportive about it but didn’t like the idea of being away from each other and was fearful of so much moving and long distance. We stuck it out long distance beginning late sep 2013 till we finally moved together on the east coast(we are both from the west coast so it was a big move for her) in sept of 2015. Over the… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi James,

so you’re not coming back in the navy anymore? I think that’s the real issue. But that’s good that you’re being nice, continue that.

Hello. I was dating my ex for 3 years we had broken up for 3 weeks when her parents called the police for me going to her house to speak with her. I did 3 weeks no contact rule and we started speaking. It led to us sleeping together and speaking all day like old times. I happened to run into her and her family after a month of constant contact and seeing eachother once a week like old times. Her parents weren’t very nice to me and it’s been two weeks of her trying not to speak with me… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Nic,

why doesn’t she want to get back with you?

Hey chris, Pretty sticky situation here. Ill start with the fact that I broke up with my ex about a month ago, and tried to reconcile after about 2 days. She didnt want that at all, she wasn’t sure. I did not know about any of these guides and stayed in contact with her when she wanted and hung out all the time. She told me she loves me, but also hates me. One day, I went out to the bars alone and ran into her and her friends. I immediately walked out, she started texting me being jealous and… Read more »

Also, It has been a week since the cop incident happened. If i see her when i leave my apartment she doesn’t even look at me whatsoever

EGR Team Member: Amor
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi grant,

you have to do at least 45 or longer no contact

am Peter'

my girl just broke with me because she in interested in another guy be the person have money more than me but have no personality more than me what i do

EGR Team Member: Amor
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Peter,

she broke up with you because the other has more money than you? That’s not even a proper reason to break up.. For me you should move on from her..

joe marquet
Hey Chris, love your article. Im in need of some guidance. My ex (gf of 4 years) broke it off almost a month ago, we still live in the same house for the next month so its tough. I’m trying to win her back over time but i feel like its hopeless. Within a week she had already got in bed with another guy, and is looking at other guys and is excited to be single, moving on, and is already planning to move across the country in a year. Im trying to do no contact but its hard bc… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
EGR Team Member: Amor

it won’t change anything but just keep at what you’re doing because it’s better than doing nothing.. and besides she will compare you to her new ones, especially when you’re apart.. so, continue to that you’re improvements will either make her remember the good times or get attracted to the new you

joe M
Chris, Great article! really insightful. Quick question, My ex broke it off after 4 yrs about 3 weeks ago, we live together and I bugged her a lot after the break up which I now realize is pushing her even further away bc she just wants to get out. She has a new place lined up and will be out in about a month. Ive started sleeping in another room, and trying to do NC as much as I can, being nice to her, but also trying not to give her anything in hopes that it will make her wonder… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Joe M,

you don’t have to restart count..kust extend it until you feel you have to

rehmat khan

actuaaly he support my gf…..he knws each other within 1 mnth…….

rehmat khan

actually sir 20 days ago i slapt my gf for sme misundrstndng…..nd then she was brokeup with me nd blocked me……bt really luv her so much plzzz help me how can i get back……her in my lyf

rehmat khan

my ex gf taking interest in someone other and trust on them mre than me…..wt can i do ….i really love her so much??????

rehmat khan

Commentnd she is blocked my contact and she dnt want to meet me…….

EGR Team Member: Amor
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Rehmat,

when did you last talked to her and why does she trust him more than you?

Need serious help me and my girlfriend of 5 years split a month ago we have a child together the relationship was great the first 4 years then I took a new job and over worked myself in doing that I neglected her, disrespected her I was miserable and and unhappy with my self . She said she doesn’t love me no more The first 3 weeks I contacted her about getting back together because she said she wasn’t sure in the u the future but for now it’s over she didn’t want me to hold on to hope we’ll… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Barry,

Are you still in nc now? because if not, try to rebuild the friendship.. talk, have fun, walk outsode together, then later ask her out

Hi Chrisy Chris Chris, I know you probably have gotten this thousands of times, Let’s start with me and girlfriend are at univeristy together since 20th September 2015, we are both 19 years old, we live about 10 minutes away from each other and there’s a high chance we would see each other around. I should mention that before uni we always spent our time together, usually it was routined to every weekend we were together. However, as soon as we went to uni, it all changed, we never properly saw each other anymore, she was always busy due to… Read more »

Apologies for the bad typing! And also we were together for 2 years 3 months, and we really did love each other. At first there was the idolisation of each other but we really did grow into a proper relationship and I feel that maybe a lack of communication ever since the beginning of uni made it crash?? And that’s also part of the reason I feel she won’t contact me during NC as she would have nothing to miss????
Thank you Chris, peace!!

Hi Chris, My girlfriend left me just under 2 months ago right before I was going on a holiday with her and her family. I feel like she didn’t really give any solid reasons other than ‘it’s not going to work’ and ‘I’ve been feeling this way since January’. At first I was distraught but I started to see the holiday as an ideal no contact and in that time I realized that things had gotten stale between us. I could understand that she had lost feelings as I didn’t like talking about the future (BIG MISTAKE) We were together… Read more »
Just an update, Turns out I was lied to the whole time. She got a new job towards the end of our relationship and someone started showing her attention. She obviously got excited at the prospect of something new so she left me for him. The reason she didn’t want me on the holiday was because she was texting him the whole time. What makes it worse this new guy is 38 years old! She is 20. He can’t drive and he really isn’t good looking. A downgrade in every sense. I tried to justify chasing her but I am… Read more »

Had some time to let my emotions process and despite all of this I still love her. I am now going to become a better person to grab her attention and I wont show any big signs of interest so that she doesn’t string me along but actually is interested in what she can’t have whilst seeing this older guy.


Hi Chris,

I have been reading around and I can’t find any decent articles on girls who are suffering ‘grass is greener syndrome’. It would be fantastic if you wrote an article on that and on your views to if it is a real mentality or something made up by dumpees to comfort themselves.

Keep up the great work. I know I felt heaps better after reading your site!

Hi Chris, Your posts are very insightful and genuinely really interesting – thank you! I was 18 months into a relationship and my ex broke it off a couple of weeks ago, she was very open about it and gave reasons such as wants me to be more involved with her life and hobbies, just doesn’t love me anymore, wants to go travelling (which I’m restricted to with work) etc. We’ve been in touch (text, phone and face to face) several times over the past couple of weeks and done some fun activities that she loves. Things were looking on… Read more »
I’ve just bought and read your book, great stuff and most of it makes sense but I’ve had some developments and I’m interested in your thoughts as to how best to proceed. So we met again a couple days ago and she made her decision final. She said she didn’t want to give false hope and that whilst she likes spending time with me she just can’t see her getting the feelings back and that her mind is up and down and she dosn’t know what she wants. I know there is another bloke fishing around and she’s likely comparing… Read more »

And to add to this, I know she met up with this bloke this weekend and she ended our relationship on Facebook after the weekend. Is this a lost cause and not worth bothering pursuing?

Hi Chris Back in March, I dated a girl who is studying in the same college as mine. We were very close and happy. We even traveled together and slept together, basically, we spent most of our time together. At first, she perceived me as her best friend only, however, she accepted to be my girlfriend and we officially were in a relationship for 4 months (from May to September). We broke up more than a month ago because she said to me that “I don’t deserve you”, “the longer this relationship is, the more I will hurt you”, “I… Read more »
Long story short (I’ll email you the long story): 4 months ago, my ex and I broke up. 10 days later she started dating this guy that had been chasing her for nearly a year. They’ve broken up multiple times in the past 4 months. The break up was because of broken promises to see her due to military service. Her Birthday is tomorrow. We talked off and on and every time we made headway, douchebag showed back up and since I am far away, he was convenient. With her birthday, what should I do? I haven’t talked to her… Read more »

I’m thinking of saying for her Birthday:

Happy Birthday, I hope you are queen for the day.

She always talked with me about being treated like a queen.

Any feedback would be appreciated.


We talked. It was friendly, but her ex I found out is still in the picture. Seems like he didn’t do much for her birthday, but I’ll ask her about her gifts next time we chat.

I need to figure out how to make her realize I am the better man. The hard part is he is close and I am far due to military service.


Sorry, not her ex, but her rebound.


Two hours ago I responded to the text she sent in the morning. Nothing. Is that a bad sign? Back to NC?

Hello, how are you? My name is David. Hope you’re doing fine. Here’s the case, I’ve been separated with my GF for almost 3 months. And about our relationship, maybe I’m a bit of perfection, I know nothing’s perfect but deep in my heart I always wants her to be perfect at all times, maybe one of the reason why she left me because of that, I’m asking too much of her. We did sleep together, multiple times and she don’t hate it, what she hate is doing it too often and whenever she rejects me I always feel down… Read more »

Hi chris,

I just found out that she lied to me and isn’t in a relationship at all, do you still recommend 30 days NC? She leaves for this job in 8 days.

If she doesn’t contact my before she goes should i take that as a sign that she’s moved on?

So long story short Ex girlfriend broke up 5months ago in a relationship for 4 years due to allegations of me cheating only got the chance to prove I didn’t 2 months later in which she was happy but still thought there was more so finally went into contact and then she put me into the friend zone after no contact then I told her I couldn’t be her friend as nice as possible and walked away around two weeks she asked to meet up in which we did she kept asking if I was dating again and I let… Read more »
Hey Chris, I read all your posts and articles and they have been somewhat helpful, but some dont fully apply to my situation. So the thing is I have been abroad in a long distance relationship for the past year or so, and right before I quit my job and leave to go back home, my gf broke up with me… We have never gotten into any arguments or anything and she told me the reason why she needed to break up was because it was very difficult for her and now didnt feel the same way about me. This… Read more »
After 2 months of NC i heard from a mutual friend that my ex was asking about me. I took this as a sign, initiated contact. She stayed up 2 hours past her bedtime talking to just me (judging by the rapid, meaty replies). The next day she initiated contact twice talking about her headaches and how she was in pain. Day after I initiated contact asking her how she was. So far things seem good, the replies are quick, often a few sentences, shes initiating contact. But what should I do now? Should I start to back off again… Read more »
Ok Chris so me and my ex were patching things up for some months and things were going great up until school started at least! We talked from time to time during school and it was going good and then one day she did something that made me a little jealous so I was a little upset and petty! So I would throw little childish comments here and there about it but some days later I let it go! The only reason I yoked it on was because she had told me that I would of done the same thing… Read more »
Peter D
Hey Chris So, my girlfriend broke up with me about a month ago by now. Our relationship had been a little rough over the last four months. I had gotten more passive, maybe a bit needy and I think it frustrated her. I wasn’t as happy as I used to – in fact, I was sad and angry. Not at her. Just at life. A month ago, she went on a seminar where she met another man. She kissed him and left me when she came home. After some begging and broken emotions, I went into no contact. We live… Read more »
Ben M
hey Chris, my girlfriend left me two days ago because i cheated on her, but the same day i cheated on her she wanted to take a break with me and said that she has no feelings for me. But when she found out that i cheated on her that night she cried and said that i broke her heart and she left me. Now i have sent him one deep apologize and he still cant forgive me, she wants to stay friends with me. But she stills had wrote that he wish that i had not cheated on her… Read more »

So she basically left me for another guy that had come back into her life. After over a month of no contact, i finally contacted her, and she replied, and has been replying to me during the day. However, whilst she is answering with fairly long messages, she does not ask me any questions, and i feel as if she hasn’t missed me at all.

What do i do?

Rodney Spears
I’m in a delimma me and my ex broke up a couple weeks ago we go to different colleges and we were together for a year and a half I was trying to visit her but I kept having car problems I couldn’t make it this past weekend cuz I got into a car accident she started crying that night but the next morning she broke up with me cuz she said she wasn’t ready to be in a serious relationship after saying we loved each other I pleaded with her and accepted that I’ll be friends with her she… Read more »
Hey Chris I bought the book and it’s been helping me a lot. Well my girlfriend broke up with me because she felt we were too different. But a week later she came back but I was talking to another girl and I had to chose between the two so I went on a date with the new girl and it didn’t work out. But that made my ex leave again. But she never stopped saying she loved me. Now I’ve realized how great she was to me and I want her back but now she’s talking to a really… Read more »

Now she told me today she thinks she has to let me go when just last night she was gonna give me a chance and she kissed me a lot. And the guy she’s talking to isn’t her type he’s really nice but he’s not her body type and idk she could be intimate with him. I’ve started no contact and she’s texted me twice saying she hope not mad at her decision

Did it for a week properly but then she kept saying she wanted me and trying to see me. We “dated” for a week had sex and were normal. Then she got the idea to try new people. She says I’m the love of her life and she doesn’t think she can be intimate or be as comfortable with another guy after me. And the guy she talking to is very nice but she’s know about him for a while because he’s a local and has never been attracted to him and that’s he’s not even close to her type.… Read more »
Jake B
Chris, My girlfriend left me two months ago and I have been trying my best to improve my life and confidence ever since then. she broke up with me through a text message which I admit is pretty cowardly but I also think it’s because she felt seeing me in person would make it too hard to leave. This gives me hope that there is another chance to be with her, if she hated me she would have no problem coming to see me and cus me out. we haven’t spoken or seen each other since two days before we… Read more »
joe montano
Hi Chris this will be a long one, I’ve brought your book but it doesn’t really cover my situation. So i was with my ex for 1 1/2 years and she left me about 2 months ago now. The reasons she left was because of the way i was, basically i suffered from depression for a long time i had no self confidence or self esteem (She only found out about this when i told when i first met her after the split). We where amazing together but i wasnt happy with myself so couldnt make her happy i made… Read more »
Hey I’m having a lot of problems with my ex fiancee of two years and maybe I could get some advice basically she was the one who left me and after about two weeks I rebounded and dated someone else, anyways my ex decided to message me again and she pretty much told me that she promised me she’d always come back to me and that she had never moved on and that it was my choice to move on. Any ways we started to talk again but it seemed like she was stepping on glass just to talk to… Read more »
Christian B
Ive done the mistake of keeping in contact with her she seems to think ive changed. As for the ring i dont think she wears it anymore also she said if i cant handle being friends to just leavs again i asked her about why she said anything about her promise to come back and she still makes it seem like it’s my fault im not believing her i feel like with no contact shed get extremely angry with her it was either be there and her feel suffocated or not then she’d feel like she was being ignored. Ive… Read more »
Christian B

Also to add to this all she told me i was the only thing making her pissed in her life why would she even care if we were friends or not when im the source of all of her frustrations?

Hey Chris I guess my last update on here ! So i followed Text your ex back module till Best of relation and got either neutral responses over the course of two weeks and recently got a negative response to a best of relationship. I would just like your suggestion on the last action i am going to take. I followed the NC rule she didn’t contact me once. I went for Across the Bow (two in a week) got a polite and the most curt response almost like being polite to a complete stranger. Tried Best of relation first… Read more »
Hi Chris, so my girlfriend and I broke up 2 weeks ago because things weren’t going that well and she ‘lost’ her feelings. The next two days she felt very miserable and sad.. but both of us agreed that we needed some space and time which lead us to NC. After the two days of feeling sad she started to feel good and happy without me (that’s what she said to a good friend who told it to me).. Yesterday she contacted me with a text message asking if we want to talk after the 2 weeks of NC. Thanks… Read more »
I am confused right now with my situation with my ex girlfriend. Together for almost 2 years. We broke up about 2 months ago, both 23. She broke up with me over a text. I tried going to see her that same night to talk about it in person because I felt after being together over a year, we deserve more for each other than to breakup over a TEXT! this broke my heart, and I felt powerless. so I went no contact. after 2 weeks she contacted me to get her things back from my place, and i quickly… Read more »
Great article Chris, I’m currently at level 3,5 even though it’s been just 3 days since I ended the NC (yeah I know things went pretty fast and I don’t know if it’s a good thing), she has shown signs of interest, she flirts with me indirectly, she wants to talk the whole time (word count and everything else is fine) and she even asked for a picture of me without a shirt on, however I’m afraid she’s just being nice and giving me fake signs so I don’t know what to do next, I make sure I follow your… Read more »
Hey it’s me again, my ex has been giving me more signs lately and we started to exchange pictures of us and she even told me that she wants to take a picture of me so I thought maybe she wants to go out with me but I guess I was wrong as she rejected me 3 times with the excuse ”maybe later”, okey maybe she’s busy but then she told me how this old male friend of her offered her a puppy and she’s going to meet him today. I’m really confused it makes me think that she was… Read more »
Jake B

To answer your question, we brokeup for miscommunication and more frequent arguing because of the miscommunicating. We both are still very much in love. Please let me know my next steps. I saw from another comment you told someone a letter is a really bad idea… I already sent my ex one as it says in my last post so can anything be done to reverse this? Still havent seen or talked to her. Want to make things right. I know in my heart she loves me still. Thank you