The action or power of evoking interest, pleasure, or liking for someone or something.
It’s a powerful force.
So powerful in fact that I am willing to bet that if you can master it you can take a huge step in winning your ex girlfriend back.
How rude of me.
I haven’t even introduced myself yet.
My name is Chris Seiter and I am the founder of Ex Girlfriend Recovery,
Now, most of you are probably already aware of who I am but for those of you who aren’t I am probably the most important person that you will stumble across in the next few months.
Because I am going to act as your personal guardian angel for getting your girlfriend back.
Whenever you have a question about your ex girlfriend I am going to pop up on your left shoulder like this,
How am I going to do that you ask?
Simple, through this website and my E-Book.
Whenever you have a question pertaining to anything related to your ex I want you to come here and find the answer because it is here.
But enough of that.
Let’s get to the good stuff.
Lets talk about attraction.
What This Page Covers
This page is all about attraction.
Specifically, how to use attraction to get your ex girlfriend back.
Look, I don’t think it’s any secret that right now you are not your ex girlfriends favorite person in the world. My hope is that you can use this page to move from a position where your ex girlfriend feels little or no attraction towards you to a position where your ex girlfriend feels A LOT of attraction towards you.
Maybe I should put together another cool little graphic for this.
Ok, you see how the graphic above has two faces on it?
- A disgusted/angry looking face
- A happy/in love face
Did you also notice how these two faces each have labels?
- Point A
- Point B
Do you see where I am going with this?
My hope is that you use this page to go take your ex girlfriend from Point A which is supposed to represent how she feels right now to Point B which is supposed to represent how she is going to feel about you after you implement the strategies on the page.
In other words, like I said above, you are not your ex girlfriends favorite person at the moment.
However, after you implement this guide there is going to be a strong chance that you will be.
Now, in order for that to happen you are going to put in some work.
Are you prepared to do that?
What Kind Of Work Will You Have To Do To Make Point B A Reality?
Well, that’s where the meat of this page comes into play.
I redid my fun little graphic for you so you can get an idea of the work that is required.
You probably saw that graphic and went.
Don’t worry, I am going to explain everything to you.
Do you see all those words and phrases in between Point A and Point B?
That is basically all the work you have to do to make your ex girlfriend UBER attracted to you again.
- Understanding The Levels Of Attraction
- Settling The Age Old Debate Of Looks Vs. Personality
- The Story Telling Effect
- Balancing Health, Wealth And Relationships
Sounds pretty simple when you put it like that, huh?
Sorry to burst your bubble but it’s anything but simple.
In fact, finding a way to master all of these things is quite challenging and will probably take me something crazy like 7,000 or 8,000 words just to explain the basic principles.
Now, for those of you looking for a shortcut or a way to master each one of these tactics in record time I suggest taking a look at my system,
And for those of you who aren’t interested in the system brace yourself because this is going to be a long one.
The Different Levels Of Attraction
The first thing I want to talk to you about isn’t really a tactic that you can implement.
I know that sounds weird since I just want on this huge rant about how you have to do all of these things to go from “Point A” to “Point B” but I need you to understand that there are different levels of attraction.
Hmm… since I am on fire lately with the infographics I figured I would make another one.
Here you go!
This is what I like to call my scale of attractiveness.
Above I gave you what the definition of attraction was.
Do you remember it?
The action or power of evoking interest, pleasure, or liking for someone or something.
I guess what I am trying to get at here is that you can be attracted to something and not be head over heels in love with it.
Do you get what I am saying?
Ok, well that’s kind of why I created that scale.
Lets go over that now.
Basically there are five levels of attraction with each level meaning different things. As you can see I put different faces to represent what the level means.
Notice that there is a huge difference between the faces of level one and level five.
Level One: Anger… Hate… The Dark Side
You want your ex girlfriend back she doesn’t want to take you back.
You try to apologize to her and she isn’t having it.
Heck, you may have even tried a big grand gesture to get back on her good side and that failed.
What’s the best way I can explain this?
Ok, I can’t believe I am about to admit this to you but lately my wife and I have been watching that ridiculous show “The Bachelor.”
Well, on this show there is a contestant who fell in love with a guy but the guy wasn’t feeling the same way.
All I remember is that the guy just kept saying,
“I feel like you are way ahead of me… I am behind… I am behind.”
I have never seen a girl go from being so in love to actually saying,
“I hate him… I hate him…”
I mean, this literally happened within minutes of him breaking up with her.
In fact, I even think she made that face…
So, that’s level one.
Let’s move on to level two.
Level Two: Indifference… I Couldn’t Care Less
Ah, the face of indifference.
I think it can be argued that level two of the scale of attractiveness is the worst to get because it can mean one of two things.
Thing One: I Don’t Really Care About Him Anymore
In other words, your ex girlfriend has gotten over you completely and doesn’t see any type of romantic connection with you at all in the future.
When she thinks about you she just can’t imagine herself with you.
In my opinion this is the kiss of death when it comes to getting your girlfriend back.
HOWEVER, I will say that it is rare for a woman to completely get over you immediately after a breakup so you always have that going for you.
Thing Two: I Am Just Going To Act Like I Don’t Care About Him Anymore
Why would a woman do this?
Simple, she wants to see how you are going to react.
Is it a bit childish?
Do men fall for it.
There is the idea that a woman is going to get in her mind after a breakup. She is going to say,
“He is going to fall over himself trying to get me back because I was the best thing that ever happened to him.”
Pretty presumptuous of her, huh?
So, her way of testing her little idea out is to act like she doesn’t care about you when in fact she does.
Now, this begs an interesting question.
How can you tell if she is faking it or she really does mean it?
Usually someone who fakes like they don’t care about you can do really well at the faking at first but over time they can’t do it anymore.
In other words, wait and see if she holds up the charade.
Level Three: Friends… You Mean Friend Zone
Are you starting to see how the attractiveness scale works?
How every single level slowly amps up the attractiveness?
Well, what we are trying to accomplish here is to take you from level one to level five and in order to do that you have to work the levels one by one.
A lot of men are able to reach this level.
The friend level or when you look at it in romantic terms “The Friend Zone.”
It always drives me nuts when I read through the comments here on Ex Girlfriend Recovery and find a comment from a guy that ends like this,
Look, all I want is to be friends with her. I just want to get back to that level.
So your telling me that your end goal is to be in the friend zone?
That doesn’t sound very good to me.
Look, I have this theory.
I think when people set very high (yet achievable) goals they strive towards greater things. In other words, if you set your goal as being just getting your ex girlfriend to be friends with you then you probably won’t aim much higher than that.
But look at level five on the attractiveness scale.
Look at the love pouring from those eyes (pun intended.)
If you set your goal as that then you are going to strive to break way out of the friend zone.
Heck, you probably won’t stop trying to get your ex girlfriend to be more attracted to you even once you do have her back.
Level Four: More Than Friends
The more than friends level.
How can I describe this one to you?
Lets say that you and your ex girlfriend are talking to each other for a few months after the breakup and things are progressing nicely.
There is flirting from your side…
Flirting from her side…
Flirting all around!
As a result of this flirting attraction is being built and your ex girlfriend considers you to be more than friends.
Think back to the moment before you started dating your ex girlfriend.
Do you remember what it was like?
The time before the two of you were considered “official?”
It’s that nice little limbo land where both of you look at each other and know that the potential to date is definitely there but the two of you haven’t progressed things to that level.
When I look at this level of attraction from a birds eye view I can’t really find much wrong with it. In other words, advancing to this level is a good thing. However, if I were to take a good hard look and try to find a flaw with it, it would be the fact that things aren’t official.
Something about titles can make all the difference.
I think there is a case that can be made to say that it’s a mentality thing but I think when you look at women they are attracted to commitment.
Lets look at this from an evolutionary perspective.
Women are given the task of giving birth to a child. Once they give birth to this child it can be extremely hard to do things alone so they would probably prefer to be in a family unit.
(You know, it’s that whole survival in numbers bit.)
So, as a result women like to put titles on things and these titles hold attraction value.
Think of it like this.
Generally speaking a woman is going to find her boyfriend more attractive than a normal guy that she knows. Oh, and this can get even bigger.
A woman will find a husband more attractive than a boyfriend.
Lets stay with this line of thinking as we move on to our fifth and final level.
Level Five: In Love
This is the fifth and final level of the attraction scale.
I am sure that this isn’t going to require a lot of explanation from me BUT I like being thorough so I am going to explain this in detail.
Being “in love” encompasses a lot of things.
The love a woman feels for a boyfriend…
A TV show…
Yes, it is very possible for a woman to feel love for something that’s not a person.
Now, obviously we are focusing on the “in love” feeling women get for people, specifically you.
So, what’s the difference between level four and five?
Well, while your ex girlfriend is feeling a lot of attraction in level four it pails in comparison to the attraction felt in level five.
Think of a mother who has a newborn child.
That mother will do absolutely anything for that child.
Heck, she will risk her life in some cases.
THAT is the type of love we are dealing with here.
Looks Vs. Personality (The Age Old Debate)
Looks get you in the door but personality keeps you in the room.
This is my favorite quote about this particular topic.
So many men out there think that all they have to do to attract a woman is to become more attractive in their outward appearance. While I cannot deny the fact that most woman will prefer a good looking man it isn’t all it’s made out to be.
As many of you know, I am the founder for both Ex Girlfriend Recovery and Ex Boyfriend Recovery.
I find myself constantly telling women that when it comes to men it’s around 60% looks and 40% personality. In other words, you can be dating the most beautiful woman in the world but if she has the personality of a doorknob then eventually you will lose interest.
Granted, the rate you lose interest will probably be less the more attractive the girl is but you are a human being and even you have your limits.
Well, that’s how we look at looks and personality as men.
But how do women look at it?
Are they different?
Is it 60% looks and 40% personality with them?
Women put more emphasis on the personality portion of a human being. After all, women are more likely to be looking for a long term relationship as compared to men. However, you can’t discount the fact that looks do matter to women.
So, if I were put the looks vs personality debate on a percentage scale for women I would put it at 50% looks and 50% personality.
Now, a lot of you may be wondering where I came up with that number.
The truth is that I did what I always do when I don’t know something, I asked my wife.
My Wife’s Opinion Of The Looks Vs. Personality Debate (For Women)
Sometimes when I am writing one of these massive articles and I want to get another opinion on things I turn around in my chair and ask my wife.
Now, I feel I have a pretty good gauge on how men think since I am a man but sometimes the mind of a woman is beyond me. Luckily I am married to one. Anyways, the looks vs. personality debate was something I thought I would get her take on.
She had some pretty interesting insights that I would like to share with you.
I am not naive.
I realize that some of you may be sitting there and thinking,
“It’s ok to ask a woman but how do we even know what she’s talking about? What if you are lying about your wife being beautiful?”
Ah, I thought we might hit this little snag.
Since I do understand the mind of a man and I do understand that you are probably more likely to listen to a beautiful woman as opposed to an ugly one let me give my wife’s qualifications to you,
She used to be a model,
She looks great in white,
Oh, and she married this doofus,
Ok, now that the qualifications are out of the way lets get to the insight that she can bring to you about the looks vs. personality debate for women.
When I asked her to give me a percentage of looks vs. personality when it came to women she gave me a simple answer.
Every woman is different.
UGH don’t you hate that?
Don’t worry fellas I asked her to dive deeper.
“Lets pretend we are stereotyping all women and you had to give one answer.”
In typical woman fashion she gave two,
“Hmm… I would have to say that it’s either 50% looks vs 50% personality or 40% looks vs. 60% personality”
She did make sure to re-iterate the fact that every woman is different so you can’t just count on the stereotyped answer that she gave but no matter how you slice it personality is a much bigger factor for women than it is for men.
I suppose it makes sense if you really think about it.
I mean, all you have to do is walk around the mall one day to see that.
It’s not uncommon to see unattractive men walking around with attractive women but is there any other insight that my wife can bring to the table?
Let’s ask her.
“Sure, I think age is a factor. The younger the women the more emphasis they put on looks. The older the woman the more emphasis they put on personality. However, looks will always play a role even for women.”
This statement falls in line with my theory on age and maturity.
Basically it works like this.
As a woman gets older she begins to learn what she wants out of a relationship (and what she wants almost never aligns with a better looking guy.) In fact, in most women’s experience it’s the better looking guys that treat them poorly.
Again though, you have to understand that looks will always be a factor even for women so it’s not like we can completely discount it.
Anyways, above I mentioned that for women it’s a 50% looks vs 50% personality split.
However, after thinking on it a bit I think I would like to amend that a tiny bit to make way for that age factor that my wife was talking about.
I want to make 15 years old our starting point for this since I know we do have some high schoolers reading this site for advice.
Lets say that from 15 years old to 22 years old the looks versus personality is split for women at 50/50.
However, from 23 years old on that looks versus personality split changes from 50/50 to 40/60.
Do you get it?
- 15 years old – 22 years old = 50% Looks Vs. 50% Personality
- 23 years old+ = 40% Looks Vs. 60% Personality
So, this begs an interesting question.
What do you work on?
I mean, we are here to learn how to become more attractive for our ex girlfriends so what do you spend your time working on?
What Do You Work On? Looks or Personality?
How about both?
I like to use the analogy of tennis a lot since I am really big into tennis and it’s such a complicated sport which makes it perfect to use this analogy for.
You will hear tennis players talking a lot about their own personal “game.”
For example, if we were playing a tennis match and you beat me and I walked up to you and said,
“Man, my game needs a lot of work…”
What do you think I mean by that?
Well, I would be talking about the way I played. More specifically, the tennis tools that I have in my tennis toolbox.
For example, you have the,
- You Get The Idea
A professional tennis player is always looking for a way to have a complete game or a game that is so strong that it has no weaknesses and the only way to achieve that is give an equal amount of time to mastering every aspect of the game (I listed off the basic ones above.)
Well, tennis analogy aside I want you to be a complete person.
In other words, I want you to dedicate time improving not just looks as opposed to personality but both.
How can we do that though?
Well, the obvious answer is to focus on the holy trinity and no I am not talking about anything biblical here I am talking about health, wealth and relationships but I talk about that extensively in the Ex Girlfriend Recovery PRO system and I cover it later on in this article.
What I want to do for right now is give you specific instructions on how to improve your looks (to a woman’s liking) and personality (again, to a woman’s liking.)
Lets start with looks.
How To Improve Your Looks
I always like talking about improving looks because it’s actually quite easy if you have one thing on your side, determination.
Determination will never betray you.
Besides, when you are dealing with an ex girlfriend there are a lot of things that are out of your control. However, looks is NOT one of those things. You are the master of your fate when it comes to your looks and since I am married to a pretty good looking gal who has set me down the path of righteousness when it comes to looks and women I feel I can add some good insight to this conversation.
Ok, now the thing you are going to learn about me is that I have no problem making a fool out of myself so while most experts out there would be scared to tell you something like this I am not.
Before I met my wife I didn’t really pay much attention to how I dressed.
In fact, if you want to see a picture of what I looked like before I met here take a look below,
Pretty pathetic, huh?
Yup, I totally took a selfie… in my room… trying to look cool.
Not very sophisticated.
Ok, now I want you to take a look at how I dress now due to my wife’s influence,
Do you see the difference?
This is the kind of transformation that I want you to have.
So, there are a few things that we need to talk about in order to make this possible.
Lets talk about the most basic concept of looking good.
Getting In Shape
What’s that famous phrase?
When you look good, you feel good and when you feel good, you do good.
I think Arnold Schwarzenegger once said that.
I can’t believe I just quoted “Tha Ahnold.”
As sad as that is there is definitely truth to that little phrase.
So, here is what I want you to do. I want you to get in shape but not just any type of shape I want you to get in the best shape of your life. I always find that these type of things work better when you have a goal so lets set one for you.
What is the one part of a body that women find the most attractive?
What’s your guess?
(Geez your not very talkative)
Since we are all men here who have problem seen the movie “Fight Club” I figured it would be fitting to put in Tyler Durden’s abs because I know when I saw that movie I literally thought to myself,
“Dude this guy is RIPPED. I want to be as ripped as him one day.”
So, here is my fun little challenge to you.
I want you to get Tyler Durden’s abs. I want you to get in that good of a shape.
Let’s make that our goal.
Ok, let’s move on.
To Beard Or Not To Beard… That Is The Question
Just as looks versus personality has it’s endless debate there is also another huge debate raging.
Beard versus no beard.
Hey, I’m not going to lie some guys can pull off the bearded look.
And this guy…
All have what it takes to pull off the bearded look. However, did you notice anyting interesting about the three pictures I posted above?
Anything at all?
How about the fact that none of these men had a full grown Hagrid beard,
You see, when it comes to the beard vs. no beard debate I have it on good authority that most women do not like beards. HOWEVER, they do find a bit of stubble attractive (if the guy can pull it off.)
In other words, more often than not they are always going to prefer a guy without a beard over the guy with one.
Just to make my point I figured I would post a few pictures of you so you can see for yourself,
I think you get the idea.
Lets talk about our next big thing when it comes to looks, your wardrobe.
Sophistication is the name of the game when it comes to dressing yourself up.
Take a look at the two pictures I posted of myself above…
Actually, you know what?
I will just post them side by side for you below to save you some time from scrolling up.
Ok, so look at what I am wearing on the left compared to the right.
BIG difference, huh?
In the picture on the left I look I am wearing what someone who lives in a trailer park would wear. In the picture on the right I look like I am wearing something a model would wear.
Now, am I saying that you need to go out and buy a suit to get your ex girlfriend back?
No, but I am saying that you need to start dressing like a man who looks like a sophisticated member of society.
So, will you need to buy new clothes?
But what’s that old phrase?
Clothes make the man
As much as I hate to say it I honestly feel more confident when I know I am dressed well and you will too.
Lets take a look at a few men who have great style.
This is the kind of look that women find attractive and trust me when I say that she will be blown away when you show up for a date (use the PRO guide to get the date) looking like this.
Ok, so now that I feel I have covered looks to a pretty in depth extent lets turn our attention to the personality portion.
How To Improve Your Personality
Improving your personality…
I suppose the first step to improving ones personality would lie in understanding what personality is.
The dictionary defines personality as,
The combination of characteristics or qualities that form an individual’s distinctive character.
So, lets have some fun with this and create an avatar of the perfect personality that a woman would want.
Remember, all a personality is are characteristics or qualities that you posses. So, if we were to create “the perfect man” what kind of qualities would his personality have?
That’s a lot of characteristics, huh?
So, we have,
- Good with people
- Family Oriented
- Confident (but not arrogant)
My question to you is this.
Are you all of these things?
Do you make her laugh?
Were you good with people around her?
Did she see a future with you due to how family oriented you are?
Did you charm her?
Could she depend on you?
Were you faithful?
How about confident? Were you confident without being arrogant?
How positive were you? Was she overcome with how negative you could be sometimes?
Did you handle the situations you found yourself in as a couple in a mature way?
How about integrity? Did you always do the right thing?
Were you respectful of not just her but her friends, family and other people?
Did she view you as smart?
What about thoughtful? Did you remember her birthday?
Finally were you kind to her?
If you can say yes to all of these questions then congratulations, you are the perfect man.
However, since the two of you broke up I am betting that you weren’t the perfect man. In fact, I am betting that your personality could use some work.
How can we convince an ex girlfriend that you are all of these things?
Well, before we get to that you have to actually BE all of these things.
So, what I want you to do is write down the qualities above that you are lacking and I want you to do things that will give you credibility in all of them.
I will give you a few examples.
Lets say that you read the list above and determine that you are really lacking in three qualities,
- You aren’t very funny
- You aren’t very generous
- You aren’t very positive
So, in order to become those things you decide to do three things.
- Take a class to become a comedian
- Donate to a charitable cause
- Read a book about looking at the world in a more positive way
I know it sounds goofy but doing these things are going to help us in a very big way due to what I am about to teach you next.
The Story Telling Effect
I want to stick with these three things that we are going to improve upon in your personality and ask you a simple question.
How are you going to let your ex girlfriend know that you are different this time around?
Well, you are going to do this by subtly working them into an interesting story.
Have you ever noticed that people always seem to respond to stories as opposed to you just telling them things.
Why do you think the movies are so successful?
Here is the simple fact. Women like stories and if you are able to master the art of telling stories then you hold a very powerful skill because at the end of the day when a woman is going to bed it’s the stories from her days that she can recall and if you can somehow hijack her mind to think of the story you tell you are going to get her to think about you.
So, what does all this mean?
Well, it means that you are going to have to master the art of telling stories. But more than that you are going to have to master the art of telling a story and working in positive things about yourself.
How do we do that?
Look above at the three things in your personality that you were supposed to improve upon,
- Being more funny
- Being more generous
- Being more positive
You took some pretty drastic steps to improve upon those three things and that will make for a good story.
But how can you work them into a story and make the story interesting.
Watch and learn,
A few weeks ago I was talking to my brother and I happened to make a joke that he didn’t laugh at.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
“Dude, I love you to death but you are not funny.”
Now, the thing you have to understand about my brother and I is the fact that we have always be competitive. Even from a young age I can remember challenging him to a push up contest (which I won) so I decided that I was going to make him eat his words.
“I will bet you $100 that I can make you laugh. Name the time and place” I said.
“Ok, how about next week. I will give you exactly 5 minutes to try to make me laugh. Not a smile… not a snicker… I have to actually laugh my ass off” he replies.
So, I had exactly one week to come up with the best joke of my life. I did research online…
I recalled some of the things that made me laugh but nothing really made a huge impression on me.
Days went by and I started worrying that I was going to be out $100 so I made a drastic decision.
I was going to go to comedian camp…
You see, I had found this stand up comedy class that I could go to for an hour that only charged $89. I figured that after this class I would come up with the funniest joke of my life.
So, I went into class taking notes and ready to learn and I really think I learned some good stuff in that hour that I thought I could use to make my brother laugh his butt off.
The moment finally came.
The week was up and it was time to tell my brother the joke.
So, I told it…
All I got was this face….
“Are you serious? You don’t find that funny?”
“Nope… is that the best you got?” he says.
“Jesus… I went and took a class for this and everything.”
“Wait… you took a class for this?”
I won myself $100… though I suppose the comedy class was $89 so I only ended up winning $11 but it was totally worth it so now I can make the claim that I am officially funny!
Do you see how this story was interesting, engaging and worked in the fact that you are funny?
This is the kind of story that you need to tell your ex girlfriend to display your personality.
If you want to be perceived as being smarter then tell a story that paints you in a smart light.
If you want to be perceived as more generous then tell the story of how you donated to a charitable cause.
You get the idea.
The Health, Wealth & Relationships Balance
So, I am going to give you a play out of my playbook but be prepared because this play is quite possibly the most powerful thing that I have in my arsenal.
In fact, it’s so powerful that I was able to get this woman to adore me,
I like to call it the health, wealth and relationships balance.
You see, in my time on this earth I have learned one thing about life.
It’s the fact that I am never happy if my life is out of balance.
What do I mean by that?
There are three main aspects that you can divide the most important things in life into.
Now, I have talked exclusively about the “holy trinity” in Ex Girlfriend Recovery PRO so if you want to learn more about how to master the holy trinity (health, wealth and relationships) I suggest you look there. What I want to talk about today is the idea of balancing these three aspects.
A while ago I learned that if you can find a way to balance these three aspects in your life you will be much more attractive to the others around you.
Let me give you an example.
Imagine that you are in the best shape of your life (and it shows with your new six pack.) On top of being in the best shape of your life you get a promotion at work and now earn around $240,000 a year. You have also cultivated a lot of relationships with friends and have a great relationship with your parents.
All in all when a woman looks at you she isn’t going to go.
“Ew he is a bum…”
She is going to go,
“Whoa… he is a catch.”
This is the power of balancing health, wealth and relationships.
So, how do you go about doing that?
Well, it’s all about dedicating an equal amount of time to each aspect of life.
In other words, you need to dedicated 33.3333333% of time to health….
33.3333333% of time to wealth…
And 33.3333333% of time to relationships…
Let’s make a pie graph to illustrate this,
That’s pretty much it.
If you can find a way to balance these three things then it’s the equivalent of striking oil.
Oh, and I assure you it’s a lot harder than it sounds.