Is Your Ex Girlfriend In A Rebound Relationship? Let’s Find Out!

Do you know what a rebound relationship is?

“They are defined as a relationship that occurs shortly after a significant one in which you were in love.”

Seriously, that is the official definition according to a divorce support website I stumbled across. So, if we are to look at this definition then that means that a rebound relationship can only occur if the person was in a very serious or super loving relationship first.

For example, if your ex girlfriend was deeply in love with you and the two of you dated for something like 3 years then the next relationship your ex girlfriend gets into is a rebound relationship right?

Hmm…

Well, it doesn’t work exactly like that.

Take it from someone who has dealt with a lot of women who have told him their stories of how they were feeling when they went on the rebound. There is a lot more going on behind the scenes to dictate if a woman is going on the rebound or not.

You see, women are complicated and so are relationships by definition.  And if your ex girlfriend is drawn into a rebound relationship, then there may very well be a number of reasons that cause that to happen.  Now what exactly makes your ex girlfriend tick and causes her to gravitate to some other guy can be a bit tricky to diagnose.

So let’s dive into the deeper side of this question.

Why Is My Ex Girlfriend Determined to Strike Deep Into My Heart?

some other guy chasing her down

 

So you are probably wondering why some other guy is chasing your woman down and she is falling for it.  He may be pulling out all the stops, bring her flowers and trying all the romantic angles.  Why is she on track to screw things up even more.?

Is it something you did to her recently that incentivizes your ex to try and strike an arrow through your heart?  Is that what is going on in her mind?  Or could it be your ex girlfriend’s desire to get some payback and hurt you to the core?

Could it be the memory of you and all those wonderful times you both use to enjoy that makes her ache for a connection with someone that can help her find those kind of feelings she treasures so much?

Has her anger grown so much that she now hates you and wants you to suffer for the pain you put her through?

If such was the case (and one can’t rule out this possibility), then it would seem emotions have overtaken her.  But let’s not be too quick to jump to conclusions because may experience in coaching men and women on matters pertaining to their rebound episodes is that it is rarely just one thing that leads to your special girl giving it up to another guy.

So you say to yourself, what if the love of my life has actually fallen out of love with me?  Could that have actually happened?  Is my ex girlfriend so fickle with how she spreads her love that she can easily just drop or suspend her feelings for me and bounce right on over to some other guy she meets.  Is it that easy for women to drop their boyfriend, then pour their heart into another guy?

Gosh, for your sake, I sure hope that is not what is happening here!

And if you think it is, then let me tell you that particular occurrence is actually a pretty rare event.  Women and for that matter men as well, don’t just simply hopscotch their way from guy to guy, leaving one love behind and spreading their love to the next man.

Your ex girlfriend is not like a bumble bee buzzing from one flower to the next.  This certainly is not the definition of a typical rebound relationship.  Not even close.

You see, love has a magnetic pull on all of us.  When your ex invests a good amount of time in being with you, loving you, experiencing life’s pleasures with you; that does not simply evaporate.  Even after the breakup, the love she has for you, while she may not be fully connected to it at times, is still resonating in her heart.

It is better to understand this phenomenon of a rebound relationship when you frame it in terms of physical needs and psychological catalysts meet up with certain circumstances.

When I speak of circumstances I am referring to things like your ex girlfriend possibly being in an especially vulnerable state and then meets up with someone by happenstance.  Maybe an old boyfriend comes back into the future.  Maybe your ex’s friends set her up with some other guy and there is a spark that leads to an attraction and then somehow they are in bed making love.

Hey, never mind that making love stuff….we don’t want to think that way right now.  I won’t do you any good.

So, yes, things are far more involved than most realize.

Possibly, you may think to yourself that the trigger of your particular lady’s behavior is a reaction to her body aching for companionship.  And to be honest with you, one should not rule out the possibility of their woman jumping quickly to be with another man due to an imbalance or deficit of certain hormones.

For clarity sake, this is not some kind of unusual condition.  Indeed, it is a natural way in which men and women react after a breakup.  It doesn’t happen most of the time, but it sure is not unusual.

It is true that when we are in love, our brains are flooded with a cocktail of chemical and when a breakup occurs, guess what happens inside your girlfriend’s brain?  At first stress hormones come out to play.  Then she experiences a deficit in hormones like dopamine  and oxytocin which are in short those feel good chemicals that are produced to make her feel pleasure and closeness and all the rest of those wonderful feelings she use to have with you.

But you are not there anymore.  That good part of the relationship is missing and she may be looking to replace it with a substitute.  Never mind it may be a terrible idea in the long run.  It happens.

So as you see, this whole business of a woman rebounding is full of complexity driven by both the individual circumstances of the breakup, her feelings about you and the future that you might be able to offer her, as well as the raging chemical bath her brain might be experiencing.

So when you ponder such questions of what drove her to this madness and whether your ex girlfriend will come back to you after a rebound relationship, things can get confusing.

Let me give you a sampling of what I have heard from men and women in the past about their particular rebound situation so you can be assured you are not alone.  What is going on with your girl is not some strange affliction.  It is far more commonplace than people realize.  And I know you have a ton of questions and thoughts running through your mind. In fact, it might feel like you are going a little bit crazy knowing she is out there with some fricken guy.

Men and women are telling me and asking me…

Chris, does an ex rebound relationship no contact strategy work for my woman.  She just quit us and now has taken up with an old boyfriend.   I’m telling you, this guy is crap for her.  Then she tells me he is not the only one. Yep, all the classic rebound relationship signs happening here.  Emotions, crazy needs, stupid drunken nights around bars and guys.  

 Hey there Man, I got to know if I have a chance with her.  I think she is seeing some guy.  Does a rebound relationship last? I am not even sure if she is in one.  Do you have some kind of ex in a rebound relationship quiz.  I need to take it and see if its worth trying to get her back. I am not sure if I want her if she has been with another.

This whole thing is crap.  She runs out on me and goes back to her earlier boyfriend.  I don’t know if this is a bounce or whatever you call it or she never thought we were going anywhere.    

So at the top of this article, I gave you the traditional definition.  As you can see, it really is lacking and I don’t think most of the stuff you read out there, that only skims the surface on this subject, will help much.

In other words, what I am trying to get at here is that you shouldn’t use the “official” definition my peers are peddling out there when it comes to rebound relationships.

I think we need to take a deeper dive into this whole business of guys and gals and what goes on after the breakup!

Before We Begin I Need To Tell You Something Important

Many men come to this website wanting to get their ex girlfriends back.

But there’s a problem with this line of thinking….

Getting an ex girlfriend back generally isn’t a simple process. It requires a lot of thought, strategy and even a little bit of luck.

The truth is that I can’t tell you everything that you absolutely need to know about getting your ex girlfriend back in this article.

For me to say that I can would be a lie.

Luckily, I have created something that can tell you just about everything you absolutely need to know to get your ex girlfriend back.

You can learn more about it by clicking the button below,

Get Relief Faster With Tactics I Can't Put on the Blog...

 

What A Rebound Relationship Really Is

rebounds everywhere

There are a lot of factors that go into making up a rebound relationship.

What I am going to do for you is discuss all the factors that go into them so you can hopefully apply them to your own situation and determine if your ex girlfriend is in a rebound relationship. Now, I am assuming you are reading this page because your ex girlfriend just entered into a new relationship with someone else and you are trying to determine whether or not that new person is being used as a rebound by her.

If you are then you definitely came to the right place.

I do want to state that this guide isn’t meant to help outline the steps that it will take to get your ex girlfriend back. If you want that then I suggest you take a look at my book, Ex Girlfriend Recovery PRO. Rather, this guide is meant to help you determine whether or not your ex girlfriend has indeed entered into a rebound relationship with her new guy.

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Ok, enough of that.

Lets get to the meat of this page.

In my opinion there are three main factors that go into a rebound relationship.

  1. Your past relationship with her
  2. How fast she moved on
  3. How long she has been with the rebound candidate

What I would like to do is talk about each of these three factors in depth. However, before I really dive into that I would like to talk a little about the purpose of a rebound relationship.

What Is The Purpose Of A Rebound Relationship?

(To learn more about how to get your ex girlfriend back click this link.)

whats the point

Lets say that you determine that your ex girlfriend is in a rebound relationship (we haven’t determined that yet but play a long for a minute.)

What is she trying to accomplish by this?

Actually she is trying to accomplish a lot.

Women are extremely emotional creatures and sometimes they get a bit of the grass is greener syndrome. Basically this is a syndrome where a woman believes she can do better than her current boyfriend (you.) So, when they enter a new relationship with someone who they think may potentially be better than you they are going to expect him to be able to take away all the pain they experienced with you.

For example, if you cheated on your ex girlfriend (not saying you did) then she may be looking for her new boyfriend to take some of her pain away.

Get it?

Of course, women, being the complex creatures they are, won’t stop there with rebound relationships.

They can also use rebound relationships to serve as a major distraction from facing the pain of getting over a relationship. Now, most men may scoff at this and think it’s dumb but have you ever truly tried getting over someone you have loved more than anything?

It’s kind of hard.

Look at you.

You are here because you want your ex girlfriend back more than anything. You are having trouble facing the pain too.

So, what a woman who is in a rebound relationship may be doing is using the rebound to prevent her from facing the pain that follows a breakup. It’s a nice little distraction that will make her feel good for a little bit but ultimately she will realize that she can’t hide forever.

This sparks an interesting question.

Can A Rebound Ever Turn Into Something More Serious?

I am not into living in a fantasy world where I tell you everything you want to hear.

No, I am just going to tell you like it is.

The truth is that some rebound relationships can last. I have encountered situations where the re-bounder has actually married the rebound and found a lot of happiness with them. Of course, you do have to remember that this is a rare occurrence. In my professional opinion most rebound relationships don’t last. In fact, if you were to push me for statistics, off the top of my head I would say that 80% of rebounds don’t last and 20% do last.

Ok, know that you know a bit more about rebound relationships lets take a look at what goes into making them.

The Three Major Ingredients For A Rebound Relationship

(To learn more about how these three ingredients can help you get your ex girlfriend back check out my book, Ex Girlfriend Recovery PRO.)

three twins

I have found that there are three major ingredients that go into making a rebound relationship. In this section I plan on exploring each and every one of those ingredients. Now, you may be wondering why these ingredients are important.

The truth is that these ingredients are everything when it comes to deciphering whether or not your ex girlfriend is in a rebound relationship with her new boyfriend.

What are the ingredients?

  1. Your past relationship with her
  2. How fast she moved on
  3. How long she has been with the rebound candidate

Now, the strength of these three qualities are going to have a direct correlation to the strength of the rebound relationship.

Confused?

Hmm..

How can I put this in a way that you will understand.

Ok, if your ex girlfriend has all the “rebound signs” that I am going to point out to you with these three qualities then the chances of her being in a rebound relationship will be likely. Of course, on the flip side if your ex girlfriend doesn’t show many of the “rebound signs” within these three qualities in her next relationship then the chances of her being in a rebound relationship will be lowered.

Get it?

Good!

How I Intend To Point Out The “Rebound Signs” With The Ingredients

This may be a little complicated so if there was ever a time where I required your undivided attention it would be now. What we know so far is that there are three major ingredients that go into making a rebound relationship. Of course, it’s not as simple as just looking at those ingredients and determining whether or not your ex girlfriend has them. No, unfortunately you are going to be required to look a lot deeper within the ingredients.

What I mean by that is that within these ingredients there are going to be “rebound signs” and “non-rebound signs.”

“Rebound Signs” – Signs that are indicative of someone who is on the rebound.

“Non-Rebound Signs”- Signs that are indicative of someone who is NOT on the rebound.

I feel it is important for you to understand both sides of the coin so you can know what to look out for. In the sections that follow, the ones where I talk about the ingredients of a rebound relationship, I intend to write to two areas.

  1. “Rebound Signs”
  2. “Non- Rebound Signs”

In other words, in the section below this one entitled, Your Past Relationship With Her, I am going to be pointing out the rebound signs that go with it and the non rebound signs that go with it.

Ok, enough of that. I mean, this is getting ridiculous. Lets just get to the good stuff!

 Rebound Ingredient 1- Your Past Relationship With Her

the past

Lets jump into a quick little role play here.

Lets pretend that two versions of yourself dated your ex girlfriend.  For this role plays sake we are going to call them,

  • Version A
  • Version B

Lets pretend that version A was the model boyfriend. I mean, this version of you did absolutely everything right. You were sweet, romantic, good in bed and had a lot going for you.

Version B on the other hand was another story entirely. Lets pretend that this version of you was a horrible boyfriend. You did absolutely everything wrong. You were mean, constantly argued, cheated and pretty much did a hatchet job on your relationship with your ex girlfriend.

Now, here is my question to you.

Out of these two versions of yourself which one do you think your ex is more likely to miss?

My money is on Version A.

Why Your Past Relationship Matters To Your Ex Girlfriend

A rebound relationship in my mind usually refers to a relationship that isn’t going to last. It’s a distraction to prevents you from facing your true feelings. Of course, I have noticed that an interesting phenomenon occurs in rebound relationships.

What is the phenomenon?

A comparison will get made.

Look, eventually your ex girlfriend is going to start comparing the new guy to you and whoever wins this comparison is most likely going to win her heart. For example, lets say you were Version B of yourself in your relationship with your ex and her new boyfriend (the guy you are hoping is a rebound) is more like Version A. Well, chances are pretty high that he is going to win the comparison contest over you. This would ultimately lower your chances of him being a rebound.

Rebound Sign With This Ingredient

In my opinion, this is probably the ingredient with the easiest rebound/non rebound signs.

So, what is the major rebound sign to look out for here?

Simple, in order to look towards the future on whether or not your ex girlfriends new man is a rebound we must first look to the past. Your past more specifically.

How did you treat your ex girlfriend during your relationship with her?

Were you good to her?

Did you fight her a lot?

My point with this is pretty simple. If you were the definition of a good boyfriend then you are probably going to win that comparison contest versus the new guy and raise your chances of her thinking she is on the rebound.

Of course, if you weren’t the model boyfriend…

Non-Rebound Sign With This Ingredient

I have made one things pretty clear with this ingredient.

At some point of her new relationship with her new boyfriend she is going to do a comparison to see how he stacks up against her past. Lets think about this from her perspective if you were a really bad boyfriend to her.

You are your ex girlfriend and you are looking to fall madly in love with the man of your dreams. You just started dating a new guy and he is treating you incredibly well. However, experience has taught you that there is such a thing as a honeymoon period so you wait a little bit before you knight him as prince charming.

As time goes on the new boyfriend is still treating you incredibly well. So well in fact that he puts all your other boyfriends to shame.

The comparison between you and the new guy was just made and you lost.

Thus, her chances of going back to you and labeling that new guy a rebound are lowered.

Rebound Ingredient 2- How Fast She Moved On

life moves fast

What is the general perception of a rebound relationship?

Well, when I just generally think of a rebound relationship I think of someone who just got out of a relationship, moves on to someone else really fast and then ends that relationship shortly thereafter.

Notice that I bolded a phrase in the statement above.

One thing is abundantly clear when it comes to your ex girlfriend rebounding, she is going to move on very quickly to someone new. Heck, in some cases she may have already lined up a prospect while the two of you were dating.

Thus, when you are trying to determine if your ex girlfriend is in a rebound relationship you really have to take a look at how fast she moved on to her new relationship.

Rebound Sign With This Ingredient

If your ex girlfriend moved on very quickly after her relationship with you then you can take that as a rebound sign.

Now, I suppose the question you are wondering at this point is,

“What time frame determines an ex girlfriend moving on quickly?”

Well, that depends on a lot of factors. For example, if you dated your ex girlfriend for 5 years then her moving on in two months may be considered quick. As a general rule, the longer your relationship with her the more time it will take her to move on.

Below, I have put together a table to show you how long it can take women to “be ready” to move on,

1420818432

If you can’t quite figure out how this table works then allow me to explain.

The numbers on the left show how long you have dated her for and the numbers on the right are indicative of how long it will take her to move on.

So, lets take the very first number on the left, 1 month.

If you only dated your ex girlfriend for one month then it is probably only going to take her 2 weeks to move on from you.

So, to put this table in action you have to use some basic math skills. Basically you need to determine how long you have dated your ex girlfriend for and how fast it took her to move on.

For example, if you dated your ex girlfriend for over a year and she moved on in 3 weeks then that would be an action that is common for someone who went on the rebound.

Why?

Because, it usually takes women three months to properly get over a relationship that is that long.

Non-Rebound Sign With This Ingredient

Once again I would like to refer you to the table I created above entitled,

“How Long Will It Take For Her To Get Over You?”

Like I mentioned above, women can’t just jump from relationship to relationship. Sure, there are some exemptions to that rule but generally speaking your ex girlfriend isn’t going to be built that way. So, what does this mean? Well, it means that in order for them to truly move on from you a certain amount of time has to pass.

Lets take another example from the table graphic I created above.

Lets pretend that your ex girlfriend dated you for 3 years and she moved on to someone else an entire year later.

Well, if you look at the graphic above you will notice that it should only take her six months to get over you. So, her moving on a year later would not be indicative of someone who is going on the rebound since enough time has passed for her to properly heal.

Rebound Ingredient 3- How Long She Has Been Dating The Rebound Candidate

been dating

This final ingredient is an important one to grasp so make sure I have your undivided attention here.

If you could dream up a nightmare scenario when it comes to your exes rebound relationship it would probably go something like this,

Your ex girlfriend breaks up with you and immediately moves on to someone new. Now, you being the incredibly intelligent person you are kind of cheer on the inside for a bit because as you just learned, an ex who moves on fast is typically in a rebound relationship. Unfortunately, as time slowly ticks on your ex girlfriend and her new boyfriend don’t break up. In fact, all signs are pointing to the fact that they are stronger than ever.

What does it mean if your ex girlfriend starts dating a rebound candidate and they end up together long term?

Well, I am sorry to break it to you but if your ex girlfriend dates her new boyfriend for a long time then he is no longer a rebound.

Below, I have created another graph for you to explain this phenomenon,

Rebounds
Don’t let this graph confuse you because really it’s not that confusing.

Basically, it shows that the longer a rebound candidate dates your ex girlfriend the lower his chances become of him actually being a rebound. For example, if your ex girlfriend moved on immediately after you to someone new and they only lasted a month then there was a 100% chance that, that particular guy was a rebound to her. Of course, on the flip side if your ex girlfriend has been dating her “rebound” for an entire year then that relationship has moved far from rebound territory and has set up shop in serious relationship territory.

The graph above is meant to show you when this point occurs (usually some time after six months.)

Rebound Sign With This Ingredient

Again, I would like to reference the chart I made above.

Notice that the longer that your ex girlfriend dates her rebound the less percentage of a rebound he becomes and usually after month six of them dating they begin to get more serious. So, I would have to say that the rebound sign that goes along with this particular ingredient has to be that if your ex girlfriend hasn’t been dating her new guy very long then there is a high probability that she views him as a rebound relationship deep down.

Of course, the longer she dates him the more likely he is to become a non rebound.

Non Rebound Sign With This Ingredient

If your ex girlfriend has been dating her new boyfriend for quite some time (7+ months) then the chances are very low that the new guy is going to be considered a rebound by her.

I am really sorry to break it to you but this is just the way it works in a relationship. The longer she dates him the more you start to fade away and the more she begins to view him as her night and shining armor. So, make sure that you understand this if you are going to attempt to get her back.

Wrapping It Up

(If you’d like to learn more about how to get your ex girlfriend back if she is in a new relationship check out this article.)

OK, so you ought to have a better idea how to navigate the troubled waters of a breakup if your ex girlfriend has decided to get pulled into a rebound kind of relationship.

But we are here to try and help in all kinds of ways.  So if you have some questions about your unique situation or observations that might be of help to others, then please weigh in via the Comment Section below.

		

Written by EGR team mate

Chris Seiter

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454 Comments on "Is Your Ex Girlfriend In A Rebound Relationship? Let’s Find Out!"

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Chris
Guest
I have bought your book and would just like advice on the game plan best for me. My ex and I were together and lived with each other for 1 year and a half, we broke up a day after Halloween due to a party we threw where I let my insecurities believe she cheated on me at the party. It made her extremely upset and that was the last straw for her since she was unhappy in our relationship the last 6 months due to me not putting forth as much effort as I did in the beginning of… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Chris,

With that message I think you should do 21 days, and then after that, slowly rebuild rapport.

bob
Guest
so my ex and I were dating about for about 1.5 years , we never had any major fights but we did have a lot of issues with our relationship, our family didn’t know cause we both were from different religion and race. that was the only thing we really were worried about but we worked that out and wanted to move forward and said we can work through that. I of late haven’t been making her my priority and making my family come first and she didn’t really like that as I didn’t really spend that much time with… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor
Kaveri
Guest
So we dated for 1.5 years. We really loved eachother and were best friends for 2 years prior. We did fight but we also had a deep love and connection. As soon as I left for college I started getting nervous about her loyalty and I accused her of cheating and she was upset and broke up with me. I then spent 3 months of constant begging and pleading and asking for her to take me back. She ended up getting fed up with me. I recently found out that she has been with one of the friends she made… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Kaveri,

The second guy might be a rebound. It’s not a guarantee that it will work in any situation but it helps increase your chances..

Kaveri
Guest
I don’t know how to tell if he’s a rebound. I can still talk to my ex whenever and she likes my pictures on social media but we both agreed we would take some time apart to rebuild our friendship in the future. I told her our friendship was more important than a relationship. It’s been almost 4 months since we broke up. I haven’t talked to her in 2 weeks since we agreed we would give eachother space. When I asked her if she ruled out a chance of getting back together in the future she responded with “I… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

that means you’re ok in being friendzoned.. I hope at this point, you have been very active in improving yourself and in posting.

Anestis
Guest
Hello! So here is my story,i will try to be quick. We broke up for the second time. At first she broke up with me on May 2016,i did the no contact rule and she called me after 10 days,we talked for 6 months and she diagnosed with type 1 diabetes due to sadness and stress.She told me this happened cause she wanted to get back with me but was very selfish and stubborn and didnt wanted to forgive me. Now we broke up again and this time cause she found some emails me talking about another girl that i… Read more »
Anestis
Guest

Im also her first man i wanted to say 🙂

Anestis
Guest

Also we broke up entirely on 15 December,actually is the day she went to her dad and told me we are finished.

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Anestis,

there is a chance that she will sleep with him because she’s already talking to him.. she’s already talking to other guys even if she’s in a relationship.. are you going to move out?

Anestis
Guest
Well here is the thing,i dont think she slept with him yet,cause she is a hard person and does not trust easily but maybe she did it already who knows. Also she told me that if im gonna sleep with him i will force my self in order to forget you,she really act desperately.I was thinking to move to another country in order to shock her,i dont know if this is a good idea though,im afraid she is gonna take it like a sign that we are truly finished an move on. Im also shocked that she acted like that… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

You dont have to move to another country.. But it would be better if you have your own place

Anestis
Guest
Ok i see,but what i aim is two birds with one stone. Moving to another country for 6 or 8 months gather some money then come back,in the meantime i will give her the impression that she is gonna lose me forever, but i will not block her on social media. Besides, i can return in few months if it goes well with her. When i told her that im moving to another house she was shattered and beged me not to leave, imagine if she learns that i moved to another country. Also i mentioned that im thinking to… Read more »
Mark
Guest
Hi, I met my ex when she was 19. We got a dog together our 5th year together and then I got a vasectomy. But I started struggling being in FL. She met another guy that is just like her, narcissistic and uses others to boost himself. He left his girlfriend right after meeting mine. I trusted her to be just friends with him though so they hung out closely for a year while I was still her boyfriend and living together. Hell, 8 months ago she told her mom we were getting married in their backyard in Maine. But… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Mark,

Nope, he’s not a rebound.. If she is narcissitic, it’s not healthy to go back with her

Terry Geiger
Guest
Hi, I have found your discussion of rebound interesting. I had been dating my gf for 5 years and living with for 4 years, looking at the breadcrumbs in the last 4 months she wasn’t happy and I didn’t listen to her. I was working a lot and not paying much attention to her. I was also legally married but separated for all this time. She asked me to give her space and she went to visit her moms. Over that weekend I moved my stuff out of the apartment. The apartment lease is in her name and we shared… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Terry,

Did they met before you and her broke up?

Milton
Guest
I ended up my relation after a year, she contacted me asking me if we could work things out but I told her I didn’t feel that way, that maybe we could try later. After about 5 month I reached out to her and asked her if she still wanted to work things out, but she said she didn’t feel that way anymore, that she was over me. I found out that she has been chatting all day long with a friend of mine for about 3 months, and told a mutual friends that she’s interested in him but wouldn’t… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

HI Milton,

he can be.. but he can also be a grass is greener. If you want to get her back, try the no contact rule, improve yourself and be active in posting during and after it and then slowly rebuild rapport after nc while continuing improving yourself.

Xander
Guest
Hi Amor, We’ve been almost 4yrs, first 2 yrs we’re togethe, the rest is LDR. I once lived with their family and also she lived once with mine. We used live together once also. Our relationship is so serious and deep. Usually we fight and argue but no physical contact. We have plans for the future. She moved to other country to work until now so the situation became LDR. We communicate most of the time using video call. Lately, most of the time we fought, argue and exchange some bad words. Without proper break up, I blocked her on… Read more »
Mario
Guest
So i dated my girlfriend for a year and 1 month. There was no cheating, lying, or any serious fights. However, there were small disagreements that could have been just conversations but over time began to turn into small, annoying arguments. The things we would argue about is her and her mom have a co dependency relationship with each other. Her mother relies on her everyday all day, they will talk on the phone about 10 times a day, she has tried to put up boundaries with her mom, but she is co dependent on her mom as well and… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

maybe..but you should be focused in improving yourself and being active in posting..

Law
Guest
Hi, It’s been 2 months since I broke up with my girlfriends. 4 days after that and she already has a new relationship with her seatmate in the office which that guy has a thing for her. During our relationship we are very sweet to each other although we had a lot of arguments, but I can be sure that she loves me until I got angry and broke up with her which shattered her heart. I’m now doing no contact rule for almost a month although it’s very hard given that we are in the same room in the… Read more »
Yih
Guest
Hi Amor. So this is what happened to me and my ex girlfriend. We had a good and loving relationship for 6 years. We have been LDR for 6 years. Whenever we were seeing each other in person (that means she comes back from university for summer break of 2-3 months), we rarely argued and we loved each other intimately. However, this recent year (i would say 1 starting one year ago) we had lots of arguments over the phone when we were in LDR (when she was in university and we didnt meet each other). And i know that… Read more »
Yih
Guest
And another 2 things, she has removed herself as an admin in two of my FB business page and all of our photos on her FB and Instagram. but the relationship status on FB she still hasn’t change, it still says in a relationship with me. But the relationship status has set privacy setting, only me and her can see it (maybe she forgot about this, i don’t know). and, i’ve done the 2 weeks of NC right after 4 June 2017 (the time when she said we break up and don’t continue as couple anymore) Please tell me Amor,… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

if they started talking even before the break up and developed feelings since then, that means it’s a grass is greener case

jon
Guest
I was in a 9 year relationship and living together. We did split 3 times and each time she ran off and slept with someone, i had not. She is 36 and I am 33. During the last year of the relationship (year 9) we were broken up and still living together (sex and cooking and sleeping in same bed at times) and there were heated arguements and she said she can’t forget the fact that I told her “i don’t love you anymore” — after she went out for a weekend to music festival i was looking to work… Read more »
jon
Guest

she had also said that i didn’t compliment her enough, or make her feel wanted. but i was a great guy other than that, and has said on seperate occasions “i want to be friends” or “we need a break” and also “two things can happen: we get back together, or we become friends” — she has emotional dependency issues

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Jon,

i’m actually surprised you’re surprised she slept with someone else because it’s not the first time that she slept with someone else..You said she always did that every break up..are you going to do the no contact rule?

Charles
Guest

What if she leaves to go back to a dysfunctional ex aftet a 2+ year relationship in which i was the “perfect boyfriend”

Charles
Guest

He treated her terribly by all accounts, they constantly broke up and made up but as soon as he came back around afyer 4 years apart she left me for him cuz the “spark” for me was gone despite loving me and me being “perfect”.

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

whatever perfect means for her, she went to her ex because she thinks he’s better..

Andy
Guest
We have been together for 5 years, she is nearly 20 now and I am 24. Three of these years we have been living in a long distance relationship since we are both from different countries. However 2 years ago we moved together to 1 place in between of our home countries, so she is studying now while I took up a job. We have always have been extremely happy together, we called us soul mates, best friends and a couple who will never give up fighting for the love which we shared. We always supported each other in anything… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

are you in the no contact period now? how much are you improving yourself and in posting?

ricardo
Guest
My ex girlfriend broke up with me one month ago after 11 months of dating. Im still actively trying to get her back, and doing no contact. The reason for her breaking up with me was unknown, and i honestly didnt think there was anyone else in her life. But i just found out that recently within the last few weeks, she got really close to one of her guy friends, (Which she already knew since me and her dated) but she had never showed any kind of interest in him. But now all of a sudden, she seems to… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

do you want to try the advice above?

ricardo
Guest

Yes, im trying the advice. But i’ve heard from our mutual friend that everytime she asks her about me, she ignores the questions and she also denies having anything to do with this other guy, but i doubt that she’s telling the truth. I know theres is probably something going on, but im willing to forgive and forget about that if she just gave me another chance. Should i do 30 days no contact like you suggested before this new guy came into the picture or keep or do less time so he doesnt get too close to her?

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

if she denies it then act like there’s no other guy and do a full 30 day nc.. you have to slowly build rapport and attraction after it.. improve yourself so that whether there’s a new guy or not, you’re different. You can’t build attraction if you don’t improve and if you focus on her dating other guys..

ricardo
Guest

Yes, im trying the advice. But i’ve heard from our mutual friend that everytime she asks her about me, she ignores the questions and she also denies having anything to do with this other guy, but i doubt that she’s telling the truth. I know theres is probably something going on, but im willing to forgive and forget about that if she just gave me another chance. Should i do 30 days no contact like you suggested before this new guy came into the picture or keep or do less time so he doesnt get too close to her?

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

if she denies it then act like there’s no other guy and do a full 30 day nc.. you have to slowly build rapport and attraction after it.. improve yourself so that whether there’s a new guy or not, you’re different. You can’t build attraction if you don’t improve and if you focus on her dating other guys..

ricardo
Guest

My ex girlfriend broke up with me one month ago, we dated for 11 months. I found out through a mutual friend that one of her guy friends that she already knew while we were dating (but showed no interest in) is trying to get her to be his. Her friend said that it seems that she is actually falling for him, and i feel like they’re getting too close. Its been only one month since the breakup and we dated for 11 months. Is she using him as a rebound? What should i do?

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

can be.. do you want to try the advice above?

Martin
Guest
HI im 25 and my exGF is 23, i was with my girlfriend 1,5 year and we lived together for 9 months. 5 days before we broke up, she met her friend that always told that he wants her. She started dating him 7 days after our breakup. I really dont understand because she always said that she want, tall man, with darker hair and facial hair and all her boyfriends before were like that including me, and she hated when someone smoke weed. This one is small and smoke weed, but this guy is the best friend of her… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

are you going to do the no contact rule?

Aaron
Guest
So dated this girl i grew up with after re-kindling it yrs later, she was my sisters friend.We dated just short of a yr and broke up cause she had a kid and i live 3 hrs away and neither thought we could move to each other. Sad for us both. We stay in constant communication just havent seen each other for a month. i come to realize i want to move home and want to figure this out with work. So i reach out to her and ask yo spend a weekend together she agrees she would like that.… Read more »
Aaron
Guest

so we have been broken up 7 weeks total but 3 weeks ago i started trying to get back to her but she must have just started dating this guy

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

looks like a grass is greener.. are you going to do the no contact rule?

Tony Le
Guest
Hi there, I need some help with my relationship. Recently, I discovered my girlfriend having an online emotional cheating on me with another guy from another state on Skype for 1 month. First, I confronted her but she kept denying. I decided to break up with her and walk away. She tried to hold me back and asked “can we be friend? I still want you in my life”. I said no and been using No Contact method for a week. However, I came back to her house to ask her back. She said no and she does not seem… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor
Mike
Guest

So my ex girlfriend and I were together for almost 4 years. I broke up with her in late february this year. 1-2 months later has a new boyfriend, younger than her, kinda looks like me…but she is buying him expensive sneakers and saying she LOVES him all over instagram. Is it possible that This situation is still a rebound? He does not seem to publicly state on social media that he loves her back either.

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Yes, it’s possible that he’s a rebound

Jim
Guest
Hi What if with in the 30 days she goes on dates and finds another boyfriend I’m guessing it’s still another rebound for her to jump in to if so to deal with the pain, not sure, my question is will that hinder my chances if once I start contacting her again if she is with someone else even if it’s a fling or few weeks dating, is hope all lost or is the best course of action still the same, what do I have to do there and I’m still confused on how to show her I have changed,… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

The important thing is that she gets interested in you again..If she is in a rebound, then all the more that you should focus in improving yourself so that she will think you’ve moved on and won’t hesitate on being friendly again

Steve
Guest
I have been with my ex girlfriend for 4 year this March. March was the hardest month ever in my life. We are both in our final years of college and we met during the first month of Freshman Year. First, I liked her as a friend than I told her I really enjoy her company and want her to be my girlfriend. We dated for a month than she broke up with me during winter break of our Freshman year. Than she start seeing another guy in Feb to March in the spring of next year. Than she leave… Read more »
Steve
Guest

Should I try the no contact rule for 30 day?

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Steve,

Nope, that’s a grass is greener.. Check this one:
My Ex Girlfriend Dumped Me For Another Guy…

Steve
Guest

what does that mean?

Steve
Guest

The 21 day no contact?

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Yes, you can try the 21 days.. it means she finds the other guy better in some way..

John
Guest
I bought your texting guide and the full ex girlfriend recovery guide. It has been 4 weeks (we dated for 3 half months) since us breaking up, and it has been 22 day of NC. She went back to online dating two weeks ago and has started to talk to this guy for two weeks. I messaged her today and I got a two good positive response, then I implemented the day ones strategy of ending the text. Her last text seems neutral but more negative as she said “This is all incredibly out the blue and little confusing.I just… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi John,

what was the text you sent?

John
Guest
I texted her, “You said that you hoped I would move on so that we could be friends several weeks ago. Well I am ready to be friends now, but it looks like your circumstances has changed. I understand and respect this, but if you like someone to talk to, or go to the cinema, give me a text”. I know she went on a first date today with this guy she started to talk to two weeks ago. I’m going to a mini one week NC and give her a text to see how she is. Other than that… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

dont ask to be friends, nor ask permission about something, just be friendly

John
Guest

Hey. So my girlfriend and I went out for three months and she broke it up 3 weeks ago. I went into NC with her two weeks (13 days ago) and I had received a text 4days in to NC that she misses talking to me (not the same as I miss you I don’t’ think). Anyway, my friend found out that she is back doing online dating again! Isn’t this bit too fast?

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi John,

what was the text you sent?

Lisa
Guest
sI have a question now this is a bit complicated. I have a best friend who’s daughter was friends with my son known each other for 20 years and hung out. When her daughter moved to another state she had a relationship with someone else for 4 years, they broke up. She got back in contact with my son and they started a relationship. She tried to slow things down and eventually just wanted to be friends but will get back together in the future. Secretly though they were still together. Then they officially broke up, she sai he was… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Lisa,

sorry, I just want to make it clear. Who was secretly together? and did she say your son is a rebound to your son or to you? Honestly it’s hard to say from your point of view because we don’t know what they really talked about. But if she’s telling the truth, does your son want to try the no contact rule?

Lisa
Guest
My son was secretly still together with this girl after they told family they had broken up, she wanted the pressure off from family. My son was the rebound apparently after she broke up with her ex within a few weeks. She would tell me she was falling for my son but then when they officially broke up told me he was a rebound, she made a mistake and didn’t know what she was doing. I was very confused as they have known each other for years and the way they communicated, looked at each other seemed real. She would… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

well, it’s up to your son.. It’s his decision. I’m sure he knows a lot that you don’t. You have to let this go and let him decide about it.

AL
Guest
I have one for you that’s complicated, and I want some input. I dated and lived with my ex for 1 year and 4 months, after we broke up, we continued to live together for the next 2 years, due to us being in a lease together, In those 2 years we still were intimate, and I still felt like I was in the “relationship” (Foot rubs, cooking dinner, sex…etc.) But to her we “were not together”. But she would accuse me of talking to other women, which I was not doing while we were broken up and would give… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Al,

how long has it been since you moved out? Do you want to try the no contact rule?

AL
Guest

I moved out on Jan, 11th and I don’t know how well no contact will work because of the child that is involved.

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

that means you have to do minimal contact. You can only talk to her about the child other than that focus in improving yourself and don’t initiate small talk.

Al
Guest

I can try that, but I also had been going to see a therapist to deal with the depression, he said just to move on because it’s obvious that she has already and was done with the relationship a long time ago. I almost feel like throwing in the towel

AL
Guest

I also had picked up a copy of PRO and I noticed that there isn’t a section in there on how a strategy for getting back if you share kids AND they started seeing someone else. I’ve seen the two separate topics but nothing yet to the point of both of them together

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Take it like that. If she moved on, she has to think you are too for her to be open on starting over as friends again. Don’t ask to be friends, just be friendly and continue improving yourself even after nc. This link is from the exboyfriend recovery but you can still use the advice in it:
Get Your Boyfriend Back If You Have A Child Together

AL
Guest

Does that also apply if she is already in another relationship? I would love to re attract her, but I just don’t think it’s possible because of her new guy

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Yeah, you have good memories, they don’t. So, focus in improving yourself because that’s what helps.

Jonas
Guest
My ex-gf of 2.5 years broke up with me a month ago, and I’m currently in week 3 of NC. For the last year we had issues in the bedroom after a night of partying and her initiating sex that she didn’t remember. She says she felt like I took advantage of her. She got a new boyfriend two weeks ago, and she doesn’t have the same bedroom hangup issues with him as she did with me. She’s a chronic relationship jumper, but all over her relationships have been over a year. However, she’s 22 and he’s 17. What are… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Jonas,

he’s probably a rebound but how is he winning, in what way?

Jonas
Guest
Hey Amor, thanks for getting back to me. She likes that he’s tall and white, whereas I’m her height, and asian. She’s comparing me to him sexually in a lot of ways, saying she’s more comfortable doing things with him than she was with me, or that she’s never been so aroused by someone before. Or saying that he actually stops when she asks him to, unlike me, which is untrue. The biggest comparison is that she’s surprised they’re having sex at all, since for the last six months of our relationship her libido was way down. I’m at the… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

that’s probably just because they’re in the honeymoon phase. That’s physical.. so keep working out but also work in your self esteem

Jonas
Guest

Okay, thanks. Should I reach out at the 21 day mark or wait until until the end of their honeymoon period? I want to wait for her negative feelings and resentment to subside but I don’t want to give them too much time together either.

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

dont just wait..give the other guy a good competition by your improvements.. I think you should do 30 days and then slowly rebuild rapport after..

Daniel
Guest
Hey so I’m a rather weird situation. I wasn’t in love with my girlfriend so I dumped her after a year and a half. I treated her like a queen but was consistently alpha and honestly I gave her an amazing time and she was head over heels for me. So much so she told me she was in love with me like twice. ALSO we lost our virginity to each other which was a beautiful intense experience for me thus why I still think about her. Does that give me bonus points? Anyways I dumped her for other girls… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Daniel,

Yup, it looks like you made a lot of good memories, and she loved but who does she trust more? You or the new guy?

Raffi
Guest
Hello, So my girlfriend and I recently broke up after being together for 4 years. The relationship has been rocky from the beginning with disagreements but we never broke up constantly and got back together, I always tried to make things right. From the beginning I would say I rushed her into the relationship and she gave in and wanted to test it out. So time goes and we both met each others families and got really close to each other, or at least thats what it seemed like. Throughout this relationship i’ve had friends and family constantly tell me… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Raffi, My Ex Girlfriend Dumped Me For Another Guy…

it can be a grass is greener case.. Check this:

Cal
Guest
Hi – About 2 months ago my girlfriend broke off a 2 year relationship. I fully admitted to all of the troubles I had caused and understand the parts I played in the demise. However the situation became very confusing and even as she has moved on and is with somebody else, I still hold this strange sense of loyalty to her and feel bad even thinking about another person. I have tried to see reason and get over it but in my head I know it’s not right. Recently a close family member noticed the change of relationship to… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Cal,,

Maybe the guy is a rebound.. Do you still want to try the no contact rule before building up rapport?

Darryl
Guest
I was in a 3.5 year serious relationship with my daughters mother. One day we had a argument she told me to pack my stuff and leave. We managed to meet up a few days later to discuss the visitation schedule for our child who’s 3 years old. Well, since our break up on April 2016, she started dating an old BF she had in high school. I have been in contact with my baby momma the entire time we’ve been apart and im still madly in love with her. I asked her a few times to go out on… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Darryl,

try thr no contact rule.. Stop chasing her and start improving yourself

Ace
Guest
Hello, First of all, thanks for writing this for all us hopeless romantics. It really does help. I’m having a hard time wrapping my head around my past, I think I know the answer deep down but maybe your words may make it more clear. I was dating someone for the past 2 years, it was on and off and she was always having commitment issues with me. But our relationship was good when it was alive. I was that good boyfriend, the one who got her flowers, took care of her dog, took care of her etc. She told… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Ace,

looks like she was using her ex as fall back.. but right now, do you want to try the no contact rule?

Rapha
Guest
So my girlfriend and I had been together after 2 years in a relationship. around 2 weeks ago she broke up with me. I began no contact however it’s hard since we have the same friend group. Recently I found out through a mutual friend that she has “Kinda” (her words) had a thing with a new guy for about a week. They had been good friends for a couple years and had only about a week ago apparently developed this connection. Do I still have a chance and is this just a rebound? and if so, any advice? thank… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Rapha,

you said they had been good friends for years, if she broke up with you because of him, it’s a grass is greener case. check this one:
My Ex Girlfriend Dumped Me For Another Guy…

Navid
Guest
First of all tnx for all of this article, but i really would like to hear ur opinion about my situation. So I’ve dated with my GF about 4 years and we loved each other so so much but then a few months back I got some problems in my business and I couldn’t pay much attention to her and time by time she just got cold with me and then before a week I just found out that she was dating with someone else and she had feelings for him, but when I said I’m letting u to be… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Navid,

Go for the second option and try doing the no contact rule.

Rick
Guest
Ok here we go so I was with my ex gf for roughly 2 and a half years after about 1 year she seen a txt message on my phone from another girl a few weeks later she kind of broke up with me but kept talking to me for me later to find out she had stayed at a guys house twice I never did find out what happend anyway I took her back all was good we got engaged last Christmas then June of this year I cheated on her for a month she found out everything left… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Rick,

try doing no contact again and stick to 30 days.. dont date for now and focus in improving yourself

Robbie
Guest
Earlier this year I had a gf of 2 years leave me. I have PTSD and she would occasionally mess with me over it (As in make me have freak out episodes on purpose). I guess she thought getting a reaction out of me was fun or something. She would also make fun of me for it and constantly tell me to man up and get over it. Eventually she told me that she didn’t need that in her life and a relationship with me just wasn’t worth it. She moved on maybe 3 weeks later (but some friends say… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Robbie,

are you in therapy now? Honestly, she’s not healthy for you. It’s not right to make somebody freak out on purpose

Robbie
Guest
Yeah I’ve been getting help since then and I’ve really improved compared to how I used to be. I know she really isn’t very good for me (as all of my friends have told me lol) but I can’t help but miss her. We shared a lot of the same interests and it seemed like we she was someone that finally understood me. We planned on moving in together when I transfer to another college and I actually planned to propose once I finished school up (had a ring selected, way I was going to do it and everything). I… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

You don’t have to go on a date.. but you do have to do new things.. do things that you have been putting off.. Join classes or volunteer. Those are more meaningful and you get to meet people with the same interest. It’s not to find a new partner.. But to make new friends.. Those friends can help you have a different perspective and to widen your world.

Robbie
Guest
I think I’m mostly wondering just how she moved on almost immediately. None of it really makes sense and its like a switch just flipped. I wanted to work on things but she flat out refused saying it was impossible. Then everyone says her personality did a complete 180 to fit the guy she’s dating now (who even her friends say is horrible.) Nobody seems to think it makes any sense when they see how we were and then how she treated me when it ended. Even her friends have told me she acted horribly but nobody actually said anything… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

it’s probably a grass is greener syndrome..there’s something about him that she thinks is better, that’s why it looks like she moved on quickly..

Bobby
Guest

My ex and I broke up 1 month ago. We worked together and she now dating one of my co-workers. She has been hiding it from me. I noticed it about two weeks ago. So she started seeing this guy 2 weeks after we broke up. She is now completely avoiding me and everything. She will not even give some
Of my stuff back that I left at her house. I am so confused about this.

Frank
Guest
My Ex broke up with me about 3 weeks ago after 3 years together, her reasoning’s were confusing but from reading between the lines she was missing the newness of the honeymoon period of the relationship. The breakup took me totally by surprise, the last couple of month has been a little boring as we were saving money and spending our weekends renovating our house, but apart from that I was happy and she seemed happy too. I found out that she had starting talking to a dude 2 weeks before we broke up and was with him 3 days… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

HI Frank,
it’s a grass is greener case.. When is she going to move out?

Frank
Guest

I tried having the talk with her about moving out and she got very aggressive about me trying to kick her out. I stayed totally calm and told her I’ll try talking to her again when she calms down. She has been at his place for the past week only returning home to get changes of clothes.

Frank
Guest

Also I know you are supposed to act cool and like you don’t care about your ex being with someone else. But surely her trying to bring him home after such a short period of time is crossing some line, some rule that should need to be said?

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor
Of course, That really needs to be addressed because it’s very disrespectful of her. That’s still your home. She shouldn’t have done that. Are you actively improving yourself? Be active in improving yourself and go out as much as you can. It’s good that you’re staying calm with her. I don’t know how she manages to face you and stay there while she goes to the house of the other guy every time she’s out, but don’t be like her. Take the high road. Don’t bring home a girl or make her jealous in using a rebound. You can go… Read more »
Frank
Guest
I have been very active in in proving myself. Since her reasons for dumping me was very unclear, I had to try and read between the lines. I have take the mistakes I made and made steps to address them. I have increased the amount I got to the gym and have signed up to do a Triathon in Decemeber I am actively seeking activities after work and in the weekends Making new friends I have managed to get a promotion at work I guess these are things I should have done while we were together, but no one can… Read more »
Frank
Guest
Well she’s moving out this week, she finally decided to ask me to talk about the living situation and she agreed to my solution I offered a few weeks back. It went surprisingly easy, even though it was a serious talk I had her laughing at my jokes and didn’t even mention the relationship. Now the big question, lets say I still want her back, the last month hasn’t been the best for No contact, though I did my best, living together made it difficult and hard to disguise that I was trying to ignore her(ie. avoiding the communal living… Read more »
Frank
Guest
Update: A couple of days ago she came home crying. I dont like to see her cry so asked her if she was ok. She said it was just life, The death of her grandad and her brother just had a lump removed and also she said what we were going through. I avoided the “us” discussion and just talked to her about the other 2 things, managed to cheer her up and got her laughing. The next day a common friend told me that she and the new dude had a pretty messy break up, so it seems over… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Well, I think you already comforted her.. continue to be a little distant and improving yourself and then be nice before she moves

Frank
Guest

So I helped her move out yesterday. I’m really not sure of what to do next.

James
Guest

Can you tell us what happened in the end please?

tom
Guest
Exgf cheated with multiples during last year of 4 year Rs..got drunk weekly that last year hurling abuse during her drunkeness.. “Truth comes out when drunk” she says to me then I cop this lot “Your not worth the financial convenience” “I can’t believe I had to pay rent” (her idea when she moved in) “Your going to be a short fat old man” (now in Rs with one of the cheaters a 300lb reasonably wealthy 100k year 57yr old man 7 years older than me 11 more than her..I’m only 150lbs..and yes he earns twice as much as me… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Tom,

people who love dont day those words.. do the things you love, and join groups who do the same thing so, that you’ll meet the right woman for you

tom
Guest

Tried the things suggested and it’s not working 2.5 years still single @51 I’m loosing hope of ever finding the one let alone trusting one again..I’ve been cheated on twice in a row feel very damaged like something is wrong with me that makes me cheat

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

the good thing about being guy, is that age doesnt matter that much.. dont give up

JT
Guest
I have been in a relationship for 8 years, have two kids, one is 7 and one is 15 months. Things over the years were pretty good, then right when she had the baby, and also took over the hair salon she was working at things got tough. I had started my own business 6 -8 months prior and it has been tough to get going. Anyway this led me to drink and often, she got tired of it and we had a pretty big fight in mid march. I left the house and she said not to come back… Read more »
JT
Guest

She has also stated that there is no chance of us ever getting back together again. The entire time before June though she was up and down, sending songs and such to keep me interested.

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi JT,

I’m just going to copy paste my reply to your first comment ok?

HI Jon,

sorry for the late reply.. It’s ok if you talk about the kids but only about the kids.. how are you now?

Jon
Guest
I have been in a relationship for 8 years, have two kids, one is 7 and one is 15 months. Things over the years were pretty good, then right when she had the baby, and also took over the hair salon she was working at things got tough. I had started my own business 6 -8 months prior and it has been tough to get going. Anyway this led me to drink and often, she got tired of it and we had a pretty big fight in mid march. I left the house and she said not to come back… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

HI Jon,

sorry for the late reply.. It’s ok if you talk about the kids but only about the kids.. how are you now?

Jon
Guest
Well she ditched the other guy, pretty quickly in fact. She got jealous when she saw a photo of me with another girl. I went on a NC for one week, then I brought my son home one night and one thing led to another and we ended up sleeping together. Now over the last couple of weeks we have been on the FWB routine. I am trying to go thru another NC period but with school, and kids getting sick it seems almost impossible. I know she still wants me in her life but she seems to be keeping… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Jon,

nc loses it’s effect if it’s repeatedly done.. why not try to have a calm serious talk

Jon
Guest

It’s been back and forth still, this month has been a busy one, she had a few wedding and I have had events and my gallery so its been hectic. She thinks I’m talking to other girls when I’m not at home and things just seem to turn into little arguments often. Not sure what I should do now, I’ve let her know how I feel, seems like this last week she has just shut down for the most part and isn’t really texting or giving me the time of day.

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

that means you have to avoid making her think she is right. So, don’t date.. You have to be calm when she initiates an argument.

JT
Guest

So she seems to be keeping distance and rarely texting expect for things about kids and such. Seems odd that everything changed so quickly, I’m curious if the rebound guy is trying to get back in the picture. If she is just stringing me along or if she doesn’t know what she wants. I thought things were going pretty well, not perfect but nothing is. Not sure what to do about it now, suggestions?

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

the only thing you can do is to be consistent on your actions, so that whatever she is going through, whether she’s confused about you, or if there’s another guy, she will not be able to deny the fact that you just kept improving and you’re not playing with her and that she’s the only one initiating arguments..

JT
Guest

I think she is just playing mind games with me currently, I’m falling right into the trap. I’m guessing just ignore it and it to will pass. Reading the FWB page makes me feel like things aren’t going to go well. She has been hot and cold as well, so hard to read. she keeps telling me I need to do counseling and work on myself, I’m starting counseling Monday. I feel I need to keep distance too, with having the kids involved it has made this so complicated.

Mike B
Guest
Good afternoon. I ordered the pro recovery system today but am wondering what gameplan i should follow. The ex and I dated for 8+ years and we have a son together. It was up and down but we had alot of great times. Near the end as my career had stalled and the dreams we had seemed like an eternity away i become lazy and uninspired. I pushed her away and was clingy at the same time. I found out she had had drinks with an ex and i became insecure and needy until one day she said we were… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Mike B,

wait, are you in limited no contact now?

Henry
Guest
Everything was fine, great even, for 18 months. Yes, she was much younger, that’s always risky, but it was working. I’m 28. She’s 20. Rarely fought. Got along great. Had fun. Took trips. The works. One month before we leave for a trip out of the country, I say something SOOOO stupid. “Please don’t get your hopes up, I’m not going to propose on this trip.” Keyword: “This.” About two weeks later (a week before we leave), she talks to me teary eyed and says she’s not ready to get married. I say “Me neither.” For the next week she… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Henry,

the question is how much you’ve improved and how much your life had changed? Do you have a new routine now?

Henry
Guest

I ran into at an event, and she smiled, had open body language, she seemed nervous about continuing the conversation. I texted her a few days later (stupidly), then laughed it off when we ran into each other again. I’ve since gone NC again. Any additional advice?

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

just be consistent with your activities.
and continue those activities even after nc

laghid
Guest
hi please i need some help. i was dating a girl for about 1 year, after that i broke up with her because i was not seeing her the same way. I am 23 and she is 18. we stayed in contact for about 8 or 9 months during this time she was trying to fix the relation but I had too many problems with my studies and other issues so couldn’t make that and I was always telling her that she has to “move on”. 3 months ago all my problems disappeared and i was trying to reach her… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Laghid,

I answered your comment in exboyfriend recovery. I”m just going to copy paste it here.
Hi Laghid,

when was the last time you talked? Do you want to try active no contact?

chromatin
Guest
I was with my ex for 2 years and everything was great until the end she was under a lot of pressure and i wasn’t understanding enough to help he do her chores that she needed. We broke up and got together but it only lasted 2 weeks. I tried all the wrong things asking for her back. We even went on a few dates but she said the feeling was “weird” we sometimes talk on the phone for 5 hours. But when i started NC i find out from a common friend that she is dating her ex again.… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Chromatin,

he might a rebound.. focus on improving yourself instead

Glodi
Guest
Hi Chris me and my ex have been in a relationship for 6 years , the first 3 we were inseparable but the last 3 became hard as she finished uni before me and I moved back home , we would see each other from time to time and broke up due to this. But the recent breakup was because she found her losing attraction to me , she claimed I didn’t excite her anymore , never took charge , never planned anything and didn’t know if I could look after her ! Come to find out that she had… Read more »
Glodi
Guest

Plus she’s keeping this new guy a secret from me but a mutual friend has told me that they are seeing each other. Wow this is sounding like she’s moved on

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Glodi

if you’re in nc, you shouldn’t be chasing but improving yourself

Vlade
Guest
Hi, sorry for bad English, I will cut story short My ex girlfriend and I were together for 2.2 years…Our relationship was great. We get alone 2 well. But I never bring it up on another level, didn’t talk about our future to much, it was my fault I admit, i didn’t try enough at that matter. So after 2 years we broke up…it was 45 days ago. She told me it’s best not to text or talk coz we just hurting each other. She cut me off completely. I knew she wouldn’t answer my calls and I didn’t call… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Vlade,

are you in active no contact now?

Vlade
Guest
After this what I told you up, I have sent her letter, and tell her fu*king everything, how much I’m in love with her…etc…not in pathetic and needy way. She didn’t respond, but she red it. Couple days after she text me to ask me did our mutual friend gave me some party invitation. OK, she knows my feeling, earlier she told me to forget about her, but she texting me, and she don’t give me some signs…I’m not in active no contact, but I’m not contacting her everyday or spamming her with texts or calls. Can you suggest me… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

you should be in nc so you can improve and heal and for her to miss you too

Vlade
Guest
But It’s not late for NC? I tried, she knows everything how I feel and that I want her. I will try no more, I give up trying. She Ignore my messages in which I tell her my feelings toward her. She told me “Please forget about me” after I send her something cute. After that she initiated contact with me with some not so important stuff. Every time I tell her something about us she ignores now, but she text me some not important stuff. So you suggest me to go full NC, if she text me some not… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Nc is to help you get out of the friendzone.. and also so that you can change what she thinks about you.. since you always ask for her back, that makes you the chaser.. yes, stop replying to her when you start nc.. nc means not initiating and replying, no greetings and checking her.. just focus on your inprovement

Vlade
Guest
hey thank you very very much… Please answer me this, I just find out that my ex is seeing that guy, I know who he is, I just got the information that he is junky, taking and selling drugs. He is the worst of the worst, real scumbag of the earth. My ex moved in that place near him, maybe 4 month ago, she met that girl there, she knows her from highschool, they never hang out, till now, and that girl have a brother, and she is junky also, my ex doesn’t know about, my ex seeing that guy… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

if it comes from you, you would just appear to be trash talking the other guy.. it has to be someone she trusts..and that person needs to make his/her own research so that it wouldn’t seem that you just passed the news to that person

Marquise
Guest
Ok, so I was in a 5 year relationship with a girl & she broke it off with me in Feburary of this year. After the break up she was confused on if she wanted a break or just a break up so I have her space for about a week. I took my thighs from her house & we had space. We then started talking again after that space but not about the relationship it was more just flirting, talking late on the phone, seeing each other, etc. we were doing that from March to the end of April.… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Marquise,

are you still talking now? you should end the convo in high note every time you talk and did you continue the activities you started during nc?

Tyler
Guest

Ok so I just got outta a 3 year relationship I was the bad one by not showing her love and affection. We ended because I caught her talking to another man. I’ve talked to her recently to see if we could work it out for our child and that we discuss changes to be made. She gave me a answer that she wants to see if her rebound relationship can work out first and if it doesn’t then she’ll consider getting back with me. What should I do?

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Tyler,

Woah.. that’s not a good decision.. it’s like she wants to be safe.. so, if it doesn’t work out with the rebound, she goes back with you like nothing happened? sigh.. ok, give her time. Let her be for now and take this time to improve yourself and to spend more time with your child.. have fun together.. if she sees you’re having fun with her child without her, she might miss having a whole family and think about working it out.

Andrew
Guest
Hey Chris, So I was recently involved with this girl. We weren’t official just yet, and just as I was about to make it official, that same week things went south. It was a combination of various things that made the situation worst. She was upset that I took too long to ask her out and make it official (about a month), I made a comment she didnt like and only mentioned it bothered her when this whole thing came up. Up to this point, right before things went bad everything between us was fine, other than the fact that… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Andrew,

so, it’s been almost week since you last talked and you only had one month together right? that means you can only do two weeks max…just let her cool off for now and then apologize for what you said

Andrew
Guest

Once the two weeks are done and I make first contact with her I’m guessing i should follow the texting guides you guys have on the site, right?

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

yup 🙂 choose a topic that she loves.. if there’s something current, choose that to sound more natural