Can you do me a favor?
Ok, I want you to close your eyes and picture something for me.
Picture that your ex girlfriend, the girl who despises you right now, is chasing you. No, lets take this a step further and say that she is infatuated with you. She is constantly texting you messages like,
Oh, and did I mention that she is blowing your phone up with voice mails too?
Well, she is.
Heck, even the other day she showed up at your doorstep trying to get you to come out with her for a drink (which you declined of course because your time is much too valuable.)
Now open your eyes.
Does the “fantasy scenario” I just described sound like your reality right now?
I would be shocked if it did. I mean, you are reading an article on how to get your ex girlfriend to chase you.
Welcome To “Chasing With Ex Girlfriends 101”
I feel like I am teaching a college class here 😉 .
So, what I want to do for you now is teach you a method in which you can turn your current reality into the fantasy situation that I described above.
In effect, I want to take you from point A to point B.
Point A = The depressing reality where your ex girlfriend wants nothing to do with you.
Point B= The future in which your ex girlfriend becomes obsessed and infatuated with you.
The purpose of this page is relatively simple.
I am going to teach you what you need to do to get your ex girlfriend to chase you and I am going to be doing that by following this game plan,
Now, if you don’t understand any of what I wrote about there don’t be too freaked out.
This method is rather complex and it takes this entire page to get through.
Of course, before I can really dive into dissecting this game plan there are a few important things that I need to discuss with you.
What I Consider To Be “Chasing”
This entire page is premised around the idea of getting a woman (your ex girlfriend) to chase after you.
But what does that mean?
How are we supposed to define “chasing?”
Well, that’s what I’d like to talk about right now.
Gender roles always dictate that it is a mans job to court the woman.
He typically courts her by buying her flowers, saying nice things and making big romantic gestures.
Hey, just take a look at pretty much all romantic comedies now-a-days.
When was the last time that you saw a woman court a man in one of these?
How about never?
Ok, there may be one or two instances in which it’s the woman who courts the man but generally speaking you just don’t see that in the movies anymore.
So, what is the point of me telling you all of this?
Simple, society has dictated that it’s a man’s job to chase after and get the woman and not the other way around.
In other words, courting = chasing.
Anything that is considered courting is what I consider chasing.
- Buying flowers… chasing
- Big romantic gestures… chasing
- Saying nice things through text messages… chasing
- Saying nice things on the phone… chasing
- Asking someone out on a date… chasing
So, the point of this article is to flip the gender roles and get your ex girlfriend to start chasing you instead of the other way around.
- Instead of you buying your ex flowers she would buy you flowers.
- Instead of you making a big romantic gesture your ex would make the gesture
- She would say the nice things to you in text messages
- She would say the nice things to you on the phone
- Oh, and how could I forget that she would be the one to ask you out on a date
Why Your Ex Girlfriend Isn’t Chasing You Right Now
Your ex girlfriend isn’t chasing (courting) you right now is she?
I think I might know why.
You’ve heard of the phrase “GNAT” before, right?
Well, if you haven’t “GNAT” is a very clever acronym for “Going Nuts At Texting.”
It basically describes an overly needy and desperate ex boyfriend who is trying to get his girlfriend back.
This is the type of guy that quite literally goes nuts at texting.
For example, he would very desperately send these types of text messages to his ex girlfriend,
Do you see how desperate and pathetic this was?
I have often described “GNAT” as the type of gnats that fly around your head and never leave you alone.
Do you know what I am talking about?
It’s like no matter how many times you try to swat these things away they never leave. Well, that’s what your ex girlfriend probably feels when she thinks of you if you were a “GNAT” to her.
Oh, I do feel it’s important to mention that even though “GNAT” does stand for going nuts at texting it doesn’t just extend to texting. A person can be a “GNAP” and a “GNIP.”
GNAP – Going Nuts At Phoning
GNIP- Going Nuts In Person
They are basically the same thing as a “GNAT” except instead of the medium being through texting they are through phone calls and in person encounters.
The main point I am trying to get at here is that if you are a “GNAT,” “GNAP” or “GNIP” to your ex girlfriend then she is going to do the opposite of chase you, she is going to to run from you.
So, the question you are probably wondering now is how do you stop from being a GNAT?
PART ONE: Getting Your Ex Girlfriend To Chase You Through The No Contact Rule
Ah the no contact rule.
One of the most popular strategies here on ex girlfriend recovery.
For those of you who are wondering, the no contact rule is the part of our game plan with a star on it,
The no contact rule is essential if you want your ex girlfriend to chase you.
Above I mentioned one of the biggest mistakes that men make after a breakup (being needy, GNAT, GNAP, GNIP and all that good stuff.) Now, I realize that you may have done everything perfectly after the breakup but lets just assume that you didn’t.
Let’s assume you ventured into the “crazy ex boyfriend” realm with your neediness and desperation.
Your ex girlfriend isn’t going to be drawn to you if you are crazy.
So, rather than trying to salvage the situation by reasoning with her you should take the opposite approach and let time salvage it.
Look, if you were a GNAT to your ex then she is going to form certain assumptions about you. In order to shake these assumptions you are going to utilize something I like to call the no contact rule.
What Is The No Contact Rule (And How It Can Help)
I have written about the no contact rule a lot on this site and have featured it heavily in my book,
But for those of you who don’t know what it is I would like to give you a quick crash course.
Here is the formal definition of NC (no contact)
The No Contact Rule- A period of time in which you DO NOT contact someone on purpose.
Here is how Ex Girlfriend Recovery defines it,
The No Contact Rule- A period of time between 21 days, 30 days and 45 days in which you completely freeze out (do not talk to) your ex girlfriend.
That’s basically it in a nutshell right there.
Now, I realize that some of the readers who are new to this concept may still be a little confused as to what the no contact rule entails and some of the purpose behind it. If that is you and you would like more of an explanation as to how it works I recommend reading the in-depth guide I wrote about the no contact rule here.
Ok, now that I gave you a quick crash course lets turn our attention to the reason for why you are here.
Helping you understand why the no contact rule makes your ex girlfriend chase you.
How The No Contact Rule Can Potentially Make Your Ex Girlfriend Chase You
The no contact rule really helps to make your ex girlfriend to chase you in two ways.
The first way is actually pretty simple.
You remember the hypothetical situation I was going on and on about above where you were a GNAT to your ex girlfriend and she would want nothing to do with you? Well, if you were to implement a no contact rule you are going to reshape what your ex girlfriend thinks about you.
Assuming you were GNATTY she is going to be conditioned to think that you are going to be the one chasing her.
However, once you implement the no contact rule you are going to be doing the exact opposite of what she is expecting. Remember, she is thinking that you are going to continue to blow up her phone with text messages and phone calls.
Of course, since the no contact rule strictly forbids you from doing that the phone calls and text messages that she is expecting will never come.
“Hmm… that’s strange” she will think to herself.
This is when something very interesting happens and it also happens to be the second way in which the no contact rule can help you to make your ex girlfriend chase you.
It is human nature to feel wanted and loved by others.
For example, while I think I have a pretty good head on my shoulders even I love to hear how great I am from people from time to time (hey, no holds barred honest right here.)
I am betting you would love nothing more than having this girl,
Walk up to you and tell you how great of a human being you are.
No seriously, if this woman walked up to you and gushed about how incredible you were right now you would walk around feeling like a million bucks.
Well, your ex girlfriend is no different.
She wants to feel wanted in loved in a relationship just like every other woman walking this earth.
Of course, what happens to us all when we feel wanted and loved by the same person too much?
We grow complacent.
Your ex girlfriend is probably very used to feeling wanted by you after the breakup. She is so used to it in fact that she has probably grown complacent with what it really means.
However, when you take all that attention away via the no contact rule something very interesting begins to happen.
All of a sudden she misses you chasing her.
She misses feeling wanted by you.
And what happens when someone misses something?
THEY START CHASING AFTER IT!
PART TWO- Understanding The Chase Factors
The no contact rule alone isn’t enough to get your ex girlfriend to chase you. No, it is going to take a lot more than that to accomplish this task.
I like to tell men that they have to understand the certain “chase factors” that women look for in men.
What are these chase factors?
Think of it like this.
Women are drawn to certain things in men.
If a man has enough to these things she will actively chase after him.
Hmm… how can I put this in an easier way to understand?
Oh, I know!
Ok, this is maybe going to sound a little weird to you but bear with me here. Lets take a look at a few celebrities who have women going crazy for them.
One Direction (The Silly Boy Band)
When you look at these three celebrities/celebrity entities what do all three of them have in common?
All three of them hit on a lot of chase factors that attract women.
Take Brad Pitt for example.
- He is good looking
- Considered an “Alpha Male”
- Extremely challenging to win over
- He’s interesting and sophisticated
- Oh, and he is probably one of the biggest celebrities in the world.
All of these are the chase factors that women are looking for in a potential mate and they are all something that all of the celebrities above have in spades.
Take Justin Bieber for example.
Now, I am definitely not a fan of this little *****. Nevertheless, I won’t deny that he is extremely popular and does an amazing job of getting the little “tweens” to chase him.
Again, Bieber is,
- Good looking
- An Alpha Male to the women (though I don’t think he is)
- Challenging to get
- Very interesting
- A huge celebrity
Are you seeing the trend yet?
Now, for those of you who are sitting there rolling your eyes and thinking that the celebrity factor is the only reason that these types of celebrities have thousands of women chasing after them I want to introduce you to a celebrity that is arguably more talented than everyone on that list that no woman chases after.
Meet Steve Buscemi
Buscemi is without a doubt one of the most talented actors walking this planet.
Anyone who has seen him in “Reservior Dogs,” “The Big Lebowski” and “Boardwalk Empire” will know what I am talking about.
The guy is just an amazing actor.
However, he doesn’t have hordes of women chasing after him.
Because, he doesn’t do a great job of hitting on all the chase factors that women have.
- He isn’t good looking
- He isn’t perceived by women as an “Alpha Male”
- He isn’t perceived as challenging to get
- Not many women want to picture a future with him
So, while Buscemi is considered a celebrity he didn’t really do a great job on hitting on the chase factors that attract women.
If that doesn’t explain the importance of chase factors to you then I don’t know what will.
What Are The “Chase Factors?”
So, now that you understand the power of chase factors lets turn our attention to understanding what they are one by one.
Below I have compiled a list of the major chase factors that cause women to chase after men.
- Things they don’t have
- Alpha Males
- Social Value
- Financial Value
- Genetic Value
That’s a lot of chase factors, huh?
Well, lets go down the list one by one and really get a good grasp of what each of these are.
We will start with
Things Women Don’t Have
Tell me if this story sounds familiar.
Two children (gender doesn’t matter) are sitting in a playpen.
One of the children is playing with an amazing toy while the other child doesn’t have any toys to play with.
Now, the child with the toy is extremely happy.
The child without the toy is extremely unhappy.
What do you think happens now?
Well, the child with the toy will most likely try to take the toy from the child with it.
Does this sound familiar?
Try this one on for size.
You are walking down the street one day and you notice an orange bar lying in the road. All of a sudden someone comes up to you and tells you that there is no way you can jump over it. You look at the bar and think to yourself,
“What is this person talking about? I can totally jump over that.”
So, you go and do it.
What’s the point of me telling you these two stories?
People don’t like to be told they can’t have or can’t do something.
When they are told that they aren’t capable of accomplishing something they will most likely take the necessary steps to prove you wrong.
Take our example of the celebrities above.
Common sense tells us that a woman can’t have Brad Pitt.
However, even though most women understand this they are wildly turned on by it.
As a result, he has millions of women chasing after him.
I have written about alpha males a lot on this site and on my E-Book,
I will leave it to you to check out that resource on alpha males (and how to become one.)
What I would like to do in this section is talk about why women chase them.
Think of the alpha male in a wolf pack.
He makes all the decisions for the pack.
Where they go…
What they do…
What they eat…
The survival of the pack is his number one priority.
He provides for them…
And does everything to ensure their survival.
(It’s vicious out there in the wild.)
Now lets turn our attention to what women want in a man outside of the obvious romantic things.
A woman wants a man to protect her (just like an alpha wolf)
She wants a man to provide for her (again, like an alpha wolf)
She also wants a man to lead (JUST LIKE AN ALPHA WOLF)
When a woman sees a man that can bring these characteristics to the table she is not only going to be immediately turned on but she will actively chase after him to win him over.
What’s that famous quote?
“A woman that can be bought isn’t worth having at all.”
It turns out that the same is true of men, just in a different way.
“A man who isn’t challenging isn’t worth having.”
One of the biggest mistakes that I see men continually make after a breakup with their ex girlfriend is the fact that they are way too available for them. What’s challenging about a man who is readily available for a woman?
We have all heard the generic “nice guys finish last” quote.
Well, I don’t buy in to that fact.
Nice guys don’t finish last. In fact, a lot of them finish first once they figure out what men who aren’t nice are doing.
What are they doing?
THEY AREN’T READILY AVAILABLE.
They provide a woman with a challenge and someone who is challenging is worth chasing.
This is something that I bet you would never think of.
When I talk about social value I talk about the popularity factor.
As much as I can talk about the celebrities above having women chasing them because of the “chase factor” one fact remains, they are celebrities. That in and of itself is a chase factor.
Women are drawn to shiny objects and what’s shinier than a man who is a celebrity?
Of course, I am not expecting you to become a celebrity so I am going to dumb this down to a level that us regular guys can achieve.
Imagine that you are on a date with a girl and you go out to a restaurant. At this restaurant you start bumping into a lot of people you know.
The hostess knows you…
The waiter knows you…
The manager knows you…
The couple sitting a few table overs knows you…
Now, to you this may not seem like much but to your date this is massive.
In her head she is probably thinking something like,
“Who the heck is this guy? He knows everyone. People must love him.”
Lets spice things up a little bit more and say that before all these people you know started coming up and saying hi to you at the restaurant your date didn’t seem that into you. However, after you exhibited your social value to her she started warming up.
Showing that you have social value is important because it creates this interesting “celebrity effect” where you are a celebrity in a woman’s mind.
And what happens with women and celebrities?
THEY CHASE THEM!
Whoever said personality doesn’t matter?
It is definitely not true.
I have this theory.
Looks get you in the door but personality keeps you there.
It’s easy to impress a woman with your looks (you really don’t have to do anything) but looks only take you so far.
Your intelligence, humor, beliefs, ego, openness, compassion and logic are really what can keep a woman interested in you.
Of course, I have often wondered what would happen if someone had an amazing personality but was lacking in looks. Would he still be able to get a woman to chase after him.
For example, would a man who was a 5 out of 10 in looks,
Be able to get a girl who is a 10 out of 10 on looks to chase him based on his personality?
Well, in order for that to happen he would have to really have an interesting personality that would be out of this world.
I guess it is possible..
Personality for the win!
I had a gentleman email me today asking me a question about how he could get his girlfriend back.
Now, based on the sheer volume of questions I get on a daily basis I find it hard to respond to emails but something about this particular mans email made me want to read it.
Maybe it was the fact that he was scrambling for an explanation of what the heck happened with his girlfriend.
As I read through his story one thing became clear.
His ex wanted a future with him.
However, his inability to fully commit to her or at the very least do something to show her that he wanted a future with her too caused his demise.
For those of you who are reading this please take what I am about to say very seriously.
MOST WOMEN WANT A FUTURE WITH THE PERSON THEY DATE.
The prospect of being alone scares most people half to death.
Your ex girlfriend isn’t any different.
She is more likely to chase after a man she sees a future with than one she doesn’t.
Don’t ever forget that.
If there are any women out there reading this then I apologize if I am about to offend you.
Women like men with money.
As much as people debate it, it’s a proven fact.
According to an article from the Huffington Post since the beginning of time women prefer men with resources and in today’s day and age resources are equal to money.
How can I put this in an easy to understand way?
Oh, I know.
Ok, lets imagine that we cloned you. So, instead of just one version of you there are two versions of you.
This cloned version of you is a carbon copy.
Nothing is different.
Well, almost nothing is different.
You have the same personality, looks, beliefs, blah, blah, blah.
The only difference between you and your clone is the fact that your clone is filthy rich.
He makes $1,000,000 a year.
Now, here comes your ex girlfriend who we are going to pretend hasn’t dated you yet. In fact, she is in the process of picking who to date.
She meets you and then she meets your clone.
The two of you are exactly the same except the one big difference between you is that your clone has money and you don’t.
Who do you think she will pick?
Your clone, of course.
She is going to pick the guy in the Ferrari not the guy in the beat up Pinto.
Women chase after money… that’s just the way it is.
This one is fairly obvious.
Anyone who tells you anything different is probably lying.
It’s not often that you see an ugly guy being chased down the street by a million women. However, it is more likely to happen if a guy looked like this,
(That’s me by the way.)
Ok, all kidding aside a man who isn’t considered “good looking” is going to have a lower chance of potentially being chased by a woman than a man who is considered “good looking.”
Is it impossible for a man who isn’t “good looking” to get a woman to chase him?
No, it just means he is going to have to hit some of the other chase factors a little bit harder.
Speaking of hitting the other chase factors lets talk about what to do with them now that you understand what all of them are.
PART THREE- Become The Chase Factors
Part three of this guide is really where everything I have been talking about up until this point comes together.
It’s really where you increase your chances of having your ex girlfriend chase after you for a change.
For those of you who don’t know part three is going to be focusing in on this part of the “chase process,”
What do you think the graphic means when it advises you to “become the chase factors?”
This might require some explaining on my part.
What Does “Become The Chase Factors Mean?”
I listed the chase factors above to show you the types of qualities that men have to have in order for a woman to chase him.
Now, since we are dealing with an ex girlfriend and figuring out how to get her to chase you would think that the rules might need to be altered…
Women are hardwired to chase men in a certain way.
Just because your ex girlfriend dated you at one point doesn’t mean her hardwire has changed.
What does this mean?
Well, it means that in order to increase the odds of getting your ex girlfriend to chase you, you have to hit on the chase factors above (her hardwrie.)
That’s what I mean by “become the chase factors.”
Imagine for a moment that after the breakup instead of sulking or becoming a GNAT you focused specifically on the following,
- Becoming more challenging to win over
- Working hard to become an alpha male
- Building your social value
- Improve your looks (as much as you can)
- Doing well at work so you can get a promotion
- Showing your ex that she can have a potential future with you
- Improving your personality by becoming more intelligent, witty, philosophical and compassionate
Well, you will have just hit on every single one of the “chase factors” above.
You would have essentially become everything that your ex girlfriend could ever want in a man causing your odds to go up that she will chase you.
Sounds too good to be true, doesn’t it?
I mean, it can’t be that easy to get an ex girlfriend to chase you, right?
The Trap Most Men Fall Into
You know what you need to do.
You need to BECOME the chase factors.
If you can hit on every single one of the chase factors I mention,
- Things they don’t have
- Alpha Males
- Social Value
- Financial Value
- Genetic Value
You will most likely see a dramatic change in the dynamic of things.
Your ex girlfriend will be drawn to you like she never has been before.
It’s not supposed to be that easy, right?
And therein lies the trap that most men fall into.
Somewhere right now there is a man reading this, rolling his eyes and exclaiming,
“There is no way that this works. There is no way that getting an ex girlfriend to chase you is as simple as just hitting on those silly “chase factors.””
But it is…
Most men are just too afraid or lazy to do it.
Make no mistake about it, hitting on the factors above is going to take some work.
But before you scoff and move on to the next article in your internet search I want to ask you something.
Is she worth it?
If she is then isn’t this worth a try?
I promise you that you will be hard pressed to find someone with more experience or better credentials than me in the digital romance space.