How To Flirt With Your Ex Girlfriend

Jane Eyre once wrote,

“Flirting is a woman’s trade, one must keep in practice.”

While I am sure there is some truth to that quote it’s a bit sexist because us men need to keep in practice too.

So, that is what I am going to teach you to do today.

Actually I am going to do a lot more than just teaching you to flirt with your ex girlfriend.

The truth is that it is my ambition that after reading this article you will become a professional flirt.


That actually sounds pretty bad.

Maybe I should step back and explain what I mean by that.

You are here because you probably want your ex girlfriend back.

At least, that is the assumption I am operating under.

So, this guide is going to teach you how to properly flirt with your ex girlfriend so you raise your chances of getting her back.

In other words, you are going to be a professional at flirting with your ex girlfriend in the context of getting her back.

Get it?

Here is a quick rundown of everything that I am going to be covering today.

  • The Art Of Flirting
  • Flirting With An End Goal In Mind
  • Three Types Of Flirting With An Ex Girlfriend
  • How To Flirt With Your Ex Girlfriend

I know at first glance this doesn’t seem like it covers a lot but trust me when I say that this is going to be the most comprehensive guide on flirting with exes you will find online today.

I fully expect this article to be a minimum of 5,000 words and each one of those words is going to be teaching you something valuable about the art of flirting.

Speaking of the “art of flirting..”

The Art Of Flirting

hello dog flirt

Flirting is an art form.

At least, that’s what I need you to believe if you are going to be trying to get an ex girlfriend back.

Have you ever sat back and wondered.

Why are some men good at flirting and others look like a fool when they flirt?

It’s because the men who are good at flirting treat it like an art form.

Now, what do you think I mean by that?

How can flirting be an art form?


I think I can best explain this by giving you an example.

You like tennis, right?

I am sure you have heard of someone that goes by the name of Roger Federer, right?

Well, Federer is someone who treats tennis like an art form.

Every shot he hits has purpose.

Every serve he hits looks like it was graced with perfection.

I mean, for gods sake the guy is so good at tennis that the talking heads of the sport say this about his game,

  • “Roger can produce tennis shots that should be declared illegal”
  • “He’s the most gifted player that I’ve ever seen in my life. I’ve seen a  lot of people play. I’ve seen the (Rod) Lavers, I played against some  of the great players – the Samprases, Beckers, Connors’, Borgs, you name  it. This guy could be the greatest of all time. That, to me, says it all.”
  • Evolution of the game, “First, there was tennis, then there is Roger Federer.”

Federer is someone who treats tennis like an art form.

Now I want you to take a look at a recreational tennis player.

You know, someone that would play at a much lower level at a local tennis club.

This is someone who does not treat tennis like an art form.

They miss every other shot they swing at.

Their serve is equivalent to that of a moon ball

Oh, and at the end of the day people don’t say anything about them. They make fun of the way they look when they play.

A recreational tennis player is not someone who treats tennis like an art form.

So, when I say flirting is an art form I am talking about the fact that if you want to become a “master flirter” then you need to treat it like an art form.

Every look you give your ex has to have purpose.

Every text you send her has to be well thought out.

Every time you talk to her on the phone you need to be on your game.

Don’t play around when it comes to stuff like this.

So, now that I have shifted your paradigm about flirting a bit lets take a moment to define what flirting actually is.

The Definition Of Flirting

flirting or nice

Have you ever looked up the definition of flirting before?

To be honest it’s a little frightening how many interpretations there are.

To “flirt” with danger.

To show interest in an idea without committing fully.

Perhaps the most widely accepted definition of flirting is,

Doing something to get the attention of someone you like.

But even that definition is a little flawed.

The truth is that none of the definitions I could find for flirting were exactly what I wanted when relating to exes. So, I figured I would just wing this bad boy and create my own definition just for this site.

How does that sound?

Ok, here goes nothing.

Ex Girlfriend Recoveries Definition Of Flirting = Expressing interest in your ex in a way that sets you apart from any other man she has ever encountered. You will use all kinds of methods to achieve this. Seduction, passion, chemistry, wit and humor.

You see, the problem with all those other definitions is the fact that they are too general.

They are the recreational tennis version of flirting if you will.

What I intend on teaching you about today is the pro version of tennis.

Notice how in my definition I talk about how true flirting sets you apart from any other man that your ex girlfriend has ever encountered in her entire life.

Think about that for a moment.

For the rest of her life she won’t find someone who can ignite the passion within her that you can.

She will be lying on her deathbed and be thinking to herself,

“Gah… that one guy was so smooth.”

So, the obvious question that you are wondering at this point is how can you acquire this superpower.

Well, before we get too far ahead of ourselves lets take a look at the situation you are in.

Flirt With An End Goal In Mind

bill gates flirt

I am not teaching you to flirt just for the sake of flirting.

Do you understand?

You have to have an end goal in mind.

For many of you reading this your end goal will revolve completely around getting your ex girlfriend back. However, that’s not what I plan on talking about today.

Now, I know what you are thinking.


Just hold your horses before you start lashing out at me.

While this article can help you with getting your ex girlfriend back it’s not the end goal of flirting.

The end goal of flirting is actually quite simple.

To build attraction.

Think of it like this.

Lets pretend that I pull out a 1 – 10 scale.

1 - 10 scale

Now, there is nothing too out of the ordinary about this scale originally but lets pretend that I label each end of the scale with “unattracted” and “attracted.”

1 - 10 scale

Do you see where I am going with this yet?

Initially after a breakup your ex girlfriend isn’t going to be as attracted to you as she was when you were in the honeymoon period of your relationship.

In other words, after a breakup she is going to be unattracted to you.

1 - 10 scale

Since she is so unattracted to you, you know that you need to do something fast to turn the tables in your favor if you are going to even have a chance of getting her back.

That’s when you stumble across Ex Girlfriend Recovery and you learn about the proper way to flirt with her.

So, you start sprinkling in some flirtation and all of a sudden the scale slowly starts moving up.

1 - 10 scale

Then you sprinkle some more in and the line moves up again.

1 - 10 scale

And some more…

1 - 10 scale

Eventually you have sprinkled in so much flirtation that you find that your exes overall attraction towards you has risen to a point where she is agreeable to going out with you, kissing you and potentially even taking you back.

1 - 10 scale

This is the purpose of this page.

It’s not to actually get her back (that comes later) but to build up so much attraction with her through flirtation that she is starting to feel the chemistry between the two of you again.

To take her from point A (where she is unattracted to you) to point B (where she is attracted to you.)

But how?

How do you do this?

Well, before I can teach you that I have to teach you about the three types of flirtation categories with an ex girlfriend.

The Three Flirtation Categories

three plans

When it comes to flirtation there are really three categories that everything can fall into.

What are these three categories?

They are quite simple really.

  • Text Message Flirtation
  • Phone Call Flirtation
  • In Person Flirtation

All types of mediums of flirtation fall into these three categories.

For example,

Text Message Flirtation

  • Text messages on the phone
  • Text messages through apps
  • Messages through IM
  • Messages through social media

Phone Call Flirtation

  • Phone calls
  • Skype calls
  • FaceTime calls

In Person Flirtation

  • Any type of “in person” interaction

So, if you are a little confused as to how this all works let me give you a quick crash course. If you were to be texting and flirting with your ex girlfriend then that means that you would be flirting under the text message category.

If you were flirting on the phone then you would be flirting under the phone call category.

In person… falls into the in person category.

Get it?

Pretty simple, right?

Well, here is where things get a little more complicated.

The Categories Need To Be “Flirted” In Order

What if I told you that in order to raise your chances of getting your ex back you need to flirt the categories in order.

Would that confuse you?

Do you have any idea what I mean by “flirt in order?”

Well, in order to explain this I am going to have to use McDonalds as an example.

McDonalds is famous for making sales in a certain way.

It might shock you to hear this but McDonalds makes almost no money at all on their hamburgers. Seriously, any time they make a sale on a hamburger they end up just making a few cents. They end up making most of their money on the upsells. The extra large fries and the coke.

The flirtation categories work in the same way.

You are going to be moving your ex girlfriend up the value chain.

You aren’t going to have your ex girlfriend super attracted at first but by the end, after you moved her through the value chain, you are going to make her attracted to you.

Take a look at the graphic below.

3 ways

Ok, there is a lot going on here so I am going to take a moment to explain exactly what this graphic is all about.

You will notice that our three flirtation categories are found on this graphic.

You will also notice that there are arrows that are found within the graphic pointing from one flirtation category to the next.

Oh, and I should also mention that each of the flirtation categories have a number above them.

  1. Texting
  2. Phone Call
  3. In Person

The numbers above the flirtation categories are meant to represent the order in which the category should be performed.

The arrows also show this for some of our number challenged readers.

So, according to this graphic.

You start by texting —-> You move to phone calls —> You move to in person tactics

It’s a pretty simple graphic to grasp but there are still a few unanswered questions that you probably have, huh?

Probably the first one that comes to mind is,

“What dictates moving from one category to the next?”

Well, in order to move from one category to the next you have to build enough attraction in the current category you are working on.

For example, if you are currently building attraction in the texting category enough attraction has to be built in that category before you can successfully move on to the next category. Get it?


Ok, lets go back to our McDonalds example for a bit.

If you remember above I stated that McDonalds doesn’t really make much money on their hamburgers. They make most of their profit on the upsells of the coke and fries.

So, we have three things here.

  1. The Burger
  2. The Coke
  3. The Fries

Hey, that’s kind of cool. We also have three flirtation categories what if we used a McDonalds analogy.

  1. The Burger = Texting
  2. The Coke = Phone Calls
  3. The Fries = In Person

So, if you are at McDonalds selling a burger you know you aren’t going to make that much money on it but you do know that you have to sell that burger to even offer the upsells (where you are going to make most of your money.)

In flirting you aren’t really going to maximize your chances of attraction through text messaging but you have to do the text messaging in order to get to the next step of the process.

Once you have sold a burger through McDonalds then you can offer the coke and the fries to the customer and make your big bucks.

Well, in relationships when you successfully build as much attraction as you can through flirting in text messages then you can advance to a phone call, build attraction there and then ultimately the date where a lot of stuff can get accomplished including winning your ex back.

So, going through this process in order is essential.

How essential you ask?

Let me put it this way. Most of the successful relationships I have repaired have flirted the categories in order. Most of the unsuccessful relationships I have failed to repair have not flirted the categories in order.

Ok, so now that we know what are three categories are and the order in which they should be flirted in lets talk about some category specific flirtation methods.

Flirting Methods For Text Messages


Flirting through text messaging with an ex is not as complicated as it may seem.

In this section I am going to be giving you my three best methods for “text message flirting.”

Now, the thing you have to remember is that we aren’t trying to go for the gold just yet.

What do I mean by that?

Simple, we are not trying to flirt our way to a reunion just yet. Like with anything, the art of flirting requires you to be very patient and start off slow. I mean, if you start flirting 0 to 60 right off the bat there could be some issues.

Instead, we are going to take a slower approach.

0 to 5

5 to 10

10 to 15

And so on and so forth.


Now that I think about it I just though of a great way to explain this.

Take a look at the graphic below.


I am sure you took notice to the 0 to 5, 5 to 10, etc, writing under each of the three categories of flirtation.

Lets pretend that these number values represent the MPH you should be going at.

Notice that under the texting section you aren’t going anywhere near the 60MPH mark.

This perfectly describes the move up the ladder we are trying to achieve.

Anyways, above I mentioned that in the texting section I am going to be giving you my three best flirtation techniques for texting. Well, the reason I went through this super long explanation about the MPH is to explain why these flirtation techniques aren’t too sexual.

Remember, we have to move up the ladder for that.

Ok, without further ado here is the first technique.

Texting Technique #1- The Ridiculous Opinion Text

Hey, I need to get your opinion on something.

Yes I am talking to YOU. The guy reading this.

So, I have been thinking of quitting this site and trying to fulfill my dream since I was a kid.

What’s my dream you ask?

I want to become a professional ballerina!


Ok, not really.

But I bet it made you laugh and that’s the beauty of it.

So, the way this works is that you text your ex girlfriend out of the blue and ask for her opinion on something.

You start off with a very serious text message and then you try to get her opinion on something ridiculous and clearly fake like quitting your job to become a ballerina.

Here is an example of the way this would look in a text message.

ballerina bob

The idea here is to appear humorous.

Women like a man who is funny and since the two of you have recently broken up you could both use some time to lighten up and this is the perfect way to do that. Oh, and if you really wanted my opinion on what to do to make that text message even funnier.

If I was in your shoes and was planning on sending the ballerina text message above I would send a picture of a funny guy in a ballerina outfit to follow the text about becoming a professional ballerina.

It just adds more humor to the situation and makes your ex realizes you are just lightening the mood.

Texting Technique #2- Re-Framing

Ok, lets pretend that you are texting your ex one day and the conversation is going at a pretty good clip and then the two of you start talking about your favorite show, Game of Thrones.

jon snow

During your talk about Game of Thrones the two of you have a friendly disagreement.

Actually the truth is that your ex is some sort of expert in Game of Thrones and you made a statement that was false and she was disagreeing with you/ trying to make you realize you were wrong.

Well, what you can do is use this little disagreement to your advantage.

Take a look at the text below,


Do you see what happened here?

When your ex disagreed with you, you turned it to your advantage by using some wit but also alluding to a future where the two of you can potentially reunite.

Why is this so clever?

Simple, because while you are alluding to that future together with your ex it can also be looked at as if you are joking.

It’s like a slow way of feeling her out and figuring out what she would think about a potential reunion without actually coming out and saying,

“Hey, what would you think if the two of us were to get back together?”

Texting Technique #3- Turning It Around On Her

Lets pretend that you and your ex are in the same college class and it’s Friday night and your ex forgot what the homework for the class was for the weekend.

So, what does she do?

She decides to ask you.


You get this text from your ex.

homework text

At this point you have two options.

You can be serious and tell her what it is or you can use some funny flirting to your advantage.

I’ll take funny flirting please!

flirting text

I like this text for a few reasons.

Firstly your ex is super serious when she asks you about the homework and you totally take that seriousness and use it to your advantage. I also like the fact that it kind of puts you in a position of power in that your ex is going to have to come up with a witty response to say back.

In other words, the opportunity for her to flirt back is there.

Flirting Methods For Phone Calls

phone call

Ah, so we have finally made it to the phone call section.

If you recall, the phone call section is category number two of flirtation.

Only after you have built enough attraction in category number one can you move on to this category.

So, just to set the stage for you a bit here. The phone call section I am about to talk about consists of things like talking on the phone, FaceTime and Skype.

Of course, generally speaking most of the time a phone call is going to consist of a… well, a phone call. So, that is where I am going to spend most of my time.

The idea on phone calls is that you are allowed to ratchet up the flirtation just a little bit.

I like to think of it like a knob with three settings.


  1. Low
  2. Medium
  3. High

Care to take a guess at what setting we are at right now with category two?

The medium setting of course.

In other words, we are going to really build attraction on the phone as much as possible without actually going as far as having phone sex or something crazy like that.

But before I start giving you specific steps to follow on the phone I want to make one thing clear.

The Purpose Of The Phone Call Flirtation

You are here to get your ex girlfriend back.

It’s as simple as that.

I can talk about flirtation all day long but the truth is that you want your ex back and you probably aren’t going to be able to accomplish that goal through text messages or phone calls. Really where most of the work can be done is in person.

Where you can see how she reacts to the things you say.

Where you can touch her…

Hold her…

Love her…

You get the picture.

Of course, as I have explained numerous times throughout this article you can’t just show up and force an in-person interaction with your ex. You have to earn it and texting and talking on the phone are your best bet to do that.

But this begs an interesting question.

If an in-person interaction is the be all end all what is the purpose of talking on the phone with an ex girlfriend?

Good question.

The purpose of talking on the phone with your ex is to build enough attraction over the phone to force an in-person interaction.

If you do this right you can literally have your ex girlfriend BEGGING to see you in person.

Don’t believe me?

Well, allow me to tell you a little story.

Every day I get hundreds of emails from men asking for my advice on how to get their exes back and every once in a while I get a few success stories sprinkled within those emails.

Yesterday I got a pretty awesome success story from a guy named Michael.

I took the liberty of taking a screenshot of the story for you,

Screen Shot 2015-07-08 at 8.53.44 PM

Basically Michael was able to perfectly flirt with his ex in the texting stage (category one) that she was begging to move on to the next stage in phone calls (category two.)

The same principle applies to what we are trying to do here with the phone calls.

We are trying to make your ex BEG to see you in person.

Lets talk a little about that now.

ABI… What Is It?

There is an acronym that I want you to get really familiar with when you are talking to your ex over the phone.

What’s the acronym?

ABI- Always Be Interesting


How can I explain this in a way that will make you understand?

Oh, I know!

Ok, this is going to sound super weird but just roll with it because I promise there is a point to this.

I am a big fan of Batman.

Yes, Bruce Wayne…

I am a big fan of his story.

How his parents got killed in front of him as a child. How he used that horrifying experience as motivation for cleaning up Gotham. How he used his own fear of bats to strike fear in the hearts of criminals.

While I must admit Batman has an interesting back story would you like to know what I think makes him the most interesting comic book superhero today?

It’s the villains that he has to face.


Two Face…

The Riddler…

Mr. Freeze….


These villains are arguably the most memorable out there and they all belong to Batman’s story.

But even out of all of those villains there is one that stands out.

The one I didn’t mention.

The one that you were probably expecting me to say first but I didn’t.

The Joker…

What an interesting character.

He’s a psychotic clown killer that has absolutely no rules.

He just likes chaos.

He just likes trying to make Batman break his rule of “not killing anybody.”

You have to admit that any time you watched a batman movie you were just captivated when he had a scene.

Immediately the movie that is coming to mind is The Dark Knight.

Heath Ledger portrayed The Joker and literally won an academy award because of it.

His performance was so interesting that at one point of the movie I was thinking,

“Get Batman off the screen… I want to see The Joker.”

While he is a weird example to use The Joker is definitely an example of the Always Be Interesting acronym.

Now, am I saying that I want you to turn into the clown prince of crime?


But I want you to become as interesting as him.

Especially on the phone.

I can’t tell you how many times I have coached someone through this site and told them to be interesting and they sit on the phone with their ex girlfriend in silence.

That’s not cool. There is nothing interesting about awkward silences.

Besides you aren’t going to be able to successfully flirt with your girlfriend if you don’t have anything interesting to say.

So, I am going to teach you a little technique that should be able to tap into your inner joker and interest the hell out of your ex girlfriend.

Sound good?

The Phone Call Story Board

If there is one universal truth about human beings it’s that we all love stories.

In fact, the entire movie and television industry is based on stories.

Well, when you are talking on the phone with your ex girlfriend an excellent way to flirt with her and build attraction is to become a master story teller. So, I am going to teach you how to do that right now.

Do you know what a story board is?

It’s basically an outline that every serious writer/movie will use to get a big picture view of the story that they are crafting.


Maybe it’s best if I show you this as opposed to talking about it.

Below is a story board for a scene in the famous movie, Finding Nemo,

story board finding nemo

Do you see how it crafts a big picture view of the entire movie from action to action?

Well, I would like YOU to create your own story board for when you are on the phone with your ex girlfriend.

Remember, the idea here is to ABI (always be interesting.)

Of course, there is one rule to this story board technique.

The story you tell has to in some way positively allude to a future that you and your ex can have together.

I’ll give you an example.

A Story Board Example For A Phone Call

Lets pretend that I were to jump in a time machine and go back in time to where I was flirting with my wife when we weren’t dating on the phone and I wanted to employ the story board technique.

Of course, in order to successfully do this I would have to abide by my own rule of alluding to a future where I am together with her.

I took the liberty of downloading a story board template to do this in,

storyboard template

Now, I know I want the story I craft to be interesting, exciting and passionate while at the same time alluding to a future together with Jennifer (my wife.)

So, how would I go about filling in this template to accomplish those things?

Well, I am a bit of a creative guy so what I am going to do is fill in the boxes with certain things that I want the story to have.

I am going to do that now.

storyboard template

You will notice that I want my story to encompass 9 things.

  1. Excitement
  2. Happiness
  3. Hot Air Balloons
  4. Perfect Weather
  5. Proposal
  6. Villain Boyfriend
  7. Rescue From The Villain Boyfriend
  8. Running Away Together
  9. Going Through Hell To Get The Girl

So, lets see if we can tie this story together.

You are not going to believe the story I just read on Facebook today. It was super exciting(1). So, there was this old married couple that was telling the story of how they met and it was absolutely incredible. Apparently the woman had a boyfriend who was a bit of a villain(6). The bad boyfriend had planned on proposing (5) to the woman on a hot air balloon ride (3) but ended up getting into a fight with her and it just so happened that the hot air balloon pilot was the man that she would eventually marry (obviously a younger version.) So, the hot air balloon pilot decided that he was going to rescue (7) the girl from this horrible boyfriend by giving him a scare in the air and pretending that they were going to crash (the woman was in on it.) Anyways, after they landed the bad boyfriend broke up with the girl but she got the last laugh because the hot air balloon pilot asked her out but she wasn’t going to be so easy. The pilot had to go through hell (9) to get her. All in all they ended up together and were really happy (2) and ran away (8) to Paris to get married on a perfect summer day (4.) Wouldn’t it be cool if we had a story like that one day?

Notice how at the very end of the story I included this phrase,

Wouldn’t it be cool if we had a story like that one day?

This is where I allude to a future together.

You want me to give you more tactics after this huh.

Well, you can find more phone call flirting tactics in my book, Ex Girlfriend Recovery PRO.

Flirting Methods In Person


Here we are…

Finally we have hit the category you have been dying to hear about.

Just a quick disclaimer again.

The only way to advance to this category is to first build enough attraction in the “texting” and “phone call” categories.

Flirting in person is where you are allowed ratchet up the tension to the “high” knob.

Notice that so far the flirting that we have done so far has been kind of light.

  • Flirting Through Text: PG
  • Flirting Though The Phone: PG:13

Well, with in person flirting we are about to go rated R if you catch my drift.

In other words, you are allowed to be a lot more physical with your flirting and you will be able to ignite the fire in your exes… “heart.”

Lets stop with the fluff and get right down to business.

The Importance Of Eye Contact

Eye contact is more intimate than words can ever be.

I don’t know who said this but I will tell you that there is definitely truth to that statement.

Have you ever held eye contact with someone who you like for more than six seconds?

It feels electric, right?

I mean, most of us guys end up looking a beautiful woman in the eye and looking away immediately. It’s almost like the more beautiful the woman the harder it is to look her in the eye.

This can pose a bit of a problem with your ex because you obviously want her back and you obviously think she is very beautiful.

Let me tell you that when you do see your ex in person the biggest non-verbal thing you can do to make her feel the connection is to always make and hold eye contact with her. Seriously, if you are able to pull this off you will be amazed at how responsive she is to you.

Anyways, eye contact will only get you so far.

Lets get physical.

The Idea Of “Kino”

I teach men and women to get back with their exes for a living.

Thus, it is in my job description to stay well read on everything relevant to the ex recovery process. Very recently I came across an idea. It was a pretty brilliant idea. The only problem is where I found the idea.

Guess where?

The Pickup Artist community…

While I know it is appealing to some men to become some sort of god with women I think the idea behind PUA is a little pathetic.

BUT at the end of the day their stuff does work.

Anyways, let me tell you about this concept that I came across that I thought would be perfect for you guys.

It’s the idea of ‘kino.”

What Is Kino?

Kino– The Art Of Touching A Woman

The idea behind kino is to slowly but surely use kino to build attraction through touching.

Lets pretend I create a scale of touch.

line scale

On one side of the scale you have light touching and on the other side you have hard touching.

Well, “kino” is the art of going from here,

line scale

To here,

line scale

So, you have two sides of the scale.

Light and hard.

But there is also a middle part of the scale.

Lets call this part “moderate,”

line scale

So, if light touching consists of things like,

  • Handshakes
  • Fistbumps
  • Shoulder touches
  • Elbow touches
  • High fives

And if hard touching consists of things like,

  • Kissing
  • Foreplay
  • Sex
  • Etc

Then moderate touching is going to consist of things like,

  • Touching of the waist
  • Thigh
  • Face
  • Lower back

So, the idea of kino works very similarly to the idea of “flirting the categories.”

Above I talked about how it’s important that you don’t overextend yourself into the next category before you have first built enough flirtation attraction in the one you are currently in. Well, kino works very similarly.

I want you to basically move from here,

line scale

To here,

line scale

To here,

line scale

Now, I know what you are thinking.


While I am usually very happy to oblige I think I am going to end here leaving you wanting more.

If you want the full details on how kino works then I recommend you check out Ex Girlfriend Recovery PRO by clicking on the link below.

See you later!


Written by EGR team mate

Chris Seiter

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Hey! That’s not my first time commenting but I will make a shorter story. Me and my gf were dating for over 3 years. She broke up with me 3 months ago. I have tried the NC for 30 days so we make up and had sex in the 28th day. I made some mistakes. So I got to the NC all over again. I’m at the finish of this second cycle. So let’s get to the point: We met sometimes in some parties, I try to avoid the places she is when I can but we have another party… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
EGR Team Member: Amor

dont do stuff that are too much like kissing somebody..that’s going to push her away.. if you’re in nc, if she starts to communicate just answer politely, direct and short.

simrran flora

hey my bf called me yesterday from private number during my no contact. and he asked me to come back i said no and he said it is my last time calling then. should i call him back and tell him to come back to me, but i am scared that he will just dump be again cause he have a big man ego. also me and him have to meet up to go to clinic for a pregnancy test so, its been a week i did the no contact what should i do??? thanks

EGR Team Member: Amor
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Simmrran,

did you say no because of the no contact? and what was the reason of the breakup?

Jerry Flores
I want to make sure I didn’t make to many mistakes . I hope my situation can be saved . My name is Jerry I was stationed in Japan and met an awesome Japanese girl named Asami . We were great together but I took her for granted in the beginning and acted like a complete jerk off . She stayed with me because she loved me so much . On top of that I was in Army and had PTSD from past deployments and used to have these hulk moments . Never did anything but acted like a crazy… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Jerry,

have you done the suggestions in this post?

Hey Chris, I texted my ex girlfriend a memory text and she responded with an “omg really??” And then I elaborated on the memory and she said “oh yeah that’s true”, is this going the right way? These are my first texts after NC and I ended the conversation saying I needed to workout but she continued by telling me the gym (we both work out there) was closed etc…. She continued the conversation even after that and I ended up saying we should work out some time together and she said she’d let me know when. So what’s your… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Ktl,

You’re doing great!

Hey my name is Josh, my girlfriend of about three and half years broke up with me four days ago. A few months back mentioned to her that what we were doing wasn’t working in hopes that we could work together to change these things. The things we were going to work on was having more of a physical relationship (me), and me treating her more like a girlfriend rather than just a friend (her). Then once school (college) started back up again she became distant and we decided to go on a break. I foolishly texted her after three… Read more »
MAJOR UPDATE: I friended one of her guy friends on Facebook that I remember her talking about and he just sounded like an interesting guy (also cause I didn’t know of anyone for the “best friend” portion of the NC agenda). But my ex immediately texted me asking if I was ignoring her and also why I was friending her firends. I tried to play it as casual as possible and said “cause he sounded like a cool guy” and after a few more exchanges about why I friended him I said I had to go… Now I’m just totally… Read more »
I’m in a sort of related situation (but not much, In just don’t know how to leave a comment on the article). My ex left me a few days ago. Although we were quite young (16+19), we moved in together and spent nearly two years together. We were our firsts for everything. She first said she wanted a break, then that she wanted to break up (her reasoning being that I have gotten lazy). I know that she is talking to a guy right now who she is interested in. They spend many hours talking and he lives in a… Read more »
She broke up with me 9 days ago, and after screwing up a lot I finally decided to go NC, but now I have three questions/concerns. 1: I was over at her house two days ago and we went out to get food which I then forgot to bring home, and she texted me about it last night but I didn’t respond. But I’m wondering if sense, a, I started NC only yesterday if really is that much of a big deal if respond, and b, its such a small thing that would it really matter if I replied (she… Read more »

***** Sorry sorry sorry the touch screen flipped out on me. What I was gonna ask was whether or not I could like her photos on IG or FB or what have you. I assume the answer is no, but I just want to be positively clear

Thank you so much.


I sent three standard message the first day then left it a day then tried another conversation which finished with “do you think Jon snows dead?” Her reply “No, I not believe))” this was yesterday and I decided to leave it because I didn’t get much back… And she has been online today and seen I didn’t reply but hasn’t written anything else… So I liked the photos to do something different… Should I try and start another conversation maybe bring up a memory or something sweet?

I have done NC for over a month now and started a conversation with my ex… She is being polite and nice and somewhat positive but just not giving much… =\ what should I do? I wrote a comment on here the other day explaining my situation. It’s also quite difficult with English not being her first language and new to her plus she is t connected to wifi all of the time so its difficult to not reply for a day when she might not go online for a day anyways so doesn’t quite have the same effect… I… Read more »
Hey Chris. I have a girl that I have known for about 7 years, and we were friends for a long time and flirted. We finally decided to start “talking”. I’m really into her, but I kept putting off making the relationship official because I was just out of a long time relationship & didn’t want to let those feelings spill over Into a new relationship with the girl I knew for 7 years. My friend and I started talking in 2013 for about a year and a half and she really wanted me to make it official and she… Read more »

New development while waiting for my first comment to go through moderation, I am taking a trip near where she is currently living. Should I invite her to hang with me one of those days?

Chris dixon
I met my ex on my last job. I’m a English singer and was on a cruise ship and she is a Ukrainian dancer… I didn’t want a relationship with anybody when I started the job because it was only a 6 month contract and didn’t want any awkward departures… Alas you can not control your feelings… The first 2 months of the contract we were in rehearsals and didn’t speak at all apart from hi (that also happened to be all the English she knew at the time) next 2 months we spoke a little more and then for… Read more »
Okay so my fiancee that I was with for about a year and 2 months moved out on wednesday. I had been really cold and distant for a few months, we were fighting, she told me what she needed…and I didn’t listen. She found a few emails that were basically internet cheating while I was out that night and had her parents come take her away. I’m 31, she’s 22. I was a complete idiot. She’s moved out to her father’s house about a half hour away and took the car. How in the world do I fix this? We… Read more »

Im on day 10 of NC. After I told her to come get her stuff and that I don’t want to stay friends and stay in contact… She agreed COOOOLD. But later she admit it would hurt her… Anyway, in 20days going to start contacting her (hopefully not to late, I know she is stubborn and will NOT contact me anytime during the 30 days. What I we start talking, flirt a bit and she says at one point: don’t think we will get back together. How to respond to that? How to handle that?

Well, I just found out she got 2 movie tickets for friday, last screening of the day. This really made me numb. Do I continue with the plan? Do I contact her before friday? will be 2 weeks NC then. And act like I don’t know anything… just be nice to her? or will it be to soon, am I already out of her mind? She still checks my Snapchats and all our pics are still on her facebook. Do I let her go to the movies? I don’t even know with who (might be a girlfriend from work might… Read more »
I messed up. After a 13 days, had her on the phone after a close friend took my phone and called her up after i was talking with him for 2 hours about her. It was a bad move. I was a bit drunk and didn’t think straight to stop him from calling. Afterward I called her like i didn’t know he called me as he told her I was alseep drunk ad forgot my phone nextdoor) But anyway, I called her and was kinda mad but projected it to her instead of “him”. And she took it wrong. Btw,… Read more »
Well, I did do something stupid I guess… I asked her that day we texted, (yesterday didn’t send a thing, neither today) if she was interested to come with one of her girlfriends to a club where I work (and she came always with me, I’m the photographer there). I can get her in VIP guestlisted… And she said maybe. Today, she just texted me, I might come with a friend(a girl). I started thinking this might have been a bad idea… I don’t know. I’m going to be busy all but I have my moments I can spend chill… Read more »
I visited a new church job in Indiana. Liked the job, and I met a girl while I was visiting. We got along and stayed in touch for 2 months (texting turned into phone calls) I moved to Indiana from Georgia for this church job (I really wanted to get to know this girl in the back of my mind). IMPORTANT: This is a church girl with serious morals and standards, but she is outgoing and loves to have fun and laugh First day I got there, I ramped up the attraction. We casually hanged out, but I held hands,… Read more »
Hey chris, I know you’re busy so I’ll keep this short. My girlfriend and I had been going out for a year. We had just got back from a 4 day disneyland trip together where I met her family at the end and we were planning to start moving in together (completely mutual agreement). Then immediatley after the disneyland trip, two weeks go by and we don’t see each other because of work. All though, I do call and text her about 3 or 4 times during this time period. Then after exactly 2 weeks having been back from the… Read more »
Congratulations on your baby! I have bought your e-book yes. Nice marketing tactic there with the Neal vs. Mark program…. Anyways I do believe we broke up because she felt that I neglected her. After we got back from our trip I didn’t call her or text her for 3 days. (I play games a little too much and I try to make her call me first). After 3 days went by I called her anyway to say hi. A day later I send her a text asking her how she is doing. She send me back a text saying… Read more »


A bit of a side tracked question here, what would you suggest doing when your girlfriend becomes distant with you? What would you recommend doing? This is at the point where you haven’t broken up yet.



Fighting? Not at all, we rarely argue. It’s difficult to gauge why. She’s done this previously when we had broken up before.

Chris, We were just getting back together again. We had semi-kissed as she was leaving my car. The next time I had seen her, was out on her birthday (took her for an expensive meal and she said she enjoyed it). Where I gave her a kiss on the cheek as I didn’t want to put pressure on the situation. Obviously this back fired hence why she became distant and later suggested she suggested we became friends. To which I stubbornly said “if its a matter of you not wanting to commit then let’s not be friends”. Used NC for… Read more »

One thing that comes to mind about opening up, is that after being together for over 1year and knowing each other for 2, we’ve never discussed how we met. We both met via Online Dating, but never discussed what we told friends. Should I potentially use that as a candidate? If so, how would you word it?


Ahhhhh! Is it too late to use a memory text?


Do I go for a “do you know what happened today, can I call you” text message or a “You know what I miss about you” text message? once I’ve come back out of NC


I messaged my ex with a memory text, however it was more of a comment than a question. She hasn’t responded for a day. Should I go back into NC or attempt to go for another memory text which will surely lead to a call?



I decided to use the “I need to tell you something” text. However, I opted not to divert it to something less serious, but rather being more open with her (something of which she had previously complained of). She seems to have reacted positively. Given I’ve used this tactic already, how would you recommend setting up a phone call? I don’t really have any crazy stories I can use for a text message in order to get her on the phone.





Probably about 40+ since NC. Then I implemented another 8-9 days of NC as I asked her out prematurely.

I can sense she is putting up some resistance however, she sent me a Snapchat of her eating at a pancake place she knows I love.

She ended our last text message conversation with “catch up soon xx” and that was yesterday evening. I haven’t messaged her back since. She’s having a small operation on Friday, do you think I should use that to call her?


About 40+. She randomly cleared her weekend last weekend and told me she had done so. I stuck by my guns and stuck to my original plans. She sent an email to me saying a restaurant (I love) will be opening near her very soon. Should I use this as a potential first “date”?


Is there any way that we might be able to correspond by email? I need advice, badly, and I understand that you are too busy to reply to every comment that is left on your website. I want my ex back, and I need help to win her back. Please, will you help me?

Hi Chris, My names Jim, I’ve been reading your website for a while now. I’m a university student, I met my (now ex) girlfriend Amy in a class, she was studying writing but happened to choose acting as an elective, some of my best memories are the time we had getting to know each other in that class. after talking in class and catching the bus home from university together we started handing out and it eventually turned into dating, as we got into dating I lost my direction a little, I was worried I would lose her way too… Read more »

Hey Chris,

I was wondering if you could give advice when girlfriends move in with a new guy.. but there’s still a possible chance of getting them back?

Accidentally previously submitted an unfinished comment before woops Hey Chris I’ve read almost all of your articles and am doing your mark vs neal program but perhaps I’m too afraid to admit certain things but I don’t know what to do or if i even have a chance. A little over a month ago, me and my significant other began having constant fights because she became unloving and i became clingy and jealous (plus a few other things that added fuel to the fire happened). After this she says she loves me “half half”. A couple days later she loves… Read more »

Hey Chris
Ive read almost all of your guides and perhaps it’s my state of mind or a bit of the fact that im scared to admit things to myself but i don’t know what to do. A lil over a month ago we started fighting a lot. She was becoming unloving i was getting clingy and jealous. Eventually she snapped “i love you half half”. Couple days later she loves me again. The very next day she doesnt love me at all. Now my reactios os

Hi Chris. I have been in NC for 3 weeks and yesterday I contacted my ex and we met an took a beer together. It was all good until we went for a walk and she starts crying and saying that she misses me. I just told her: I miss you too and hugged her for a long time. Then I went in for the kiss and she kissed me back passionately. Afterwards she seemed happy at first but then she kept talking about how she still was not sure about her feelings. Still we went back to my place… Read more »
I truly need your help. I don’t know what else to do. I’ll buy the book but I need a true response and something to give me hope. Everything and everyone says move on. You know it’s not that simple. I’m a good guy. Lots of friends. Great job. Good head on my shoulders. Always respectful and sincere. I don’t have my ex anymore though and it’s killing me and everyone knows it. And they’re annoyed as well. I thought hard about if it’s her I miss or the thought of her and I genuinely miss being with her. Toward… Read more »
Im dinesh i was in a relationship with my gf for 9 months before we were close friends for 3 years. .We have a good understanding and everything was going good…she was got caught in her home 3 months back and she said lets breakup. I didnt give her space at tat time i was always pleading and begging her which made her to move on following your advice from ur website i started the no contact rule forna month and started to contact her 3 days back.. She s speaking good and she s feeling guilty for… Read more »
Hi my name is angel and currently i have been dealing with my girlfriend leaving me because she claims she needs to find herself . we have been together for 3 years and have been broken up for about a month.By the way i am 17 and so is she. To cut things short, we had a great 3 years but she towards the end was losing connection and she broke up with me stating that she didn’t feel the same. She went to hawaii and id contact her but she’d not contact me, from how busy she was. at… Read more »