The whole issue of whether to block or not block your ex is one of the top questions I get from people wanting to know how to get their ex girlfriend back.
A lot of my clients are obsessed with their ex girlfriend and want to know if they would be better or worse off blocking them. You may be surprised to know that the answer is that it’s usually best to keep the social media lines of contact open. In other words, in most situations you should avoid the temptation to block her.
You should know that determining if and when you should block your ex girlfriend on social media is an important strategic consideration. As is the decision on what to do if you find the tables have been turned and your ex girlfriend has blocked you.
So let’s get started with this important discussion on how social media fits into this whole picture of winning back your ex girlfriend.
I bet you will learn a thing or two as you comb through this post!
5 Reasons You Should Never Block Your Ex Girlfriend on Social Media, Her Phone, Or Everywhere Else
1. Keep the Lines of Communication Open
The smart play is almost always to not block your ex girlfriend. First, she may be expecting you will be shutting her out of your life, so why give her the satisfaction of guessing right. Keep her off balance. But more meaningfully, you want to keep the communication options open for the future.
There are indirect ways you can use Social Media to send your ex girlfriend subtle, suggestive messages about many things. Think of it as subtle mind warfare as you will be locked in a battle of wits for the weeks to come.
2. Get Clues From Your Ex Girlfriend
If you keep things unblocked on your end, chances are greater that she will mirror your efforts. When I have my Coaching Sessions, my clients are often surprised at the clues you can pick up from her social media if you understand how to interpret the information.
And that is a good thing because you want communication flowing back and forth. It’s not that the two of you are going to be directly talking to each other, but it can be useful for you to get a sense of her mind and attitude about things and vice versa.
Though I warn you that social media and what she puts out there for you to absorb is not always reflective of the underlying reality. So consider the source and the circumstances around whatever messaging she is trying to convey.
3. Show Your Ex Girlfriend You Have Your Act Together
By keeping the communication channels open on social media, you can convey certain information about yourself. You don’t want to portray yourself as a playboy, living it up since the breakup with her. But you do want to show that you are handling things maturely and that she is not an indispensable factor in your life.
Think of it as dropping little bread crumbs that can trigger within her mind little positive morsels to think about. Ideally in her mind, you are tantalizing out of her reach. This can cause your ex to work harder to get your attention or try to prove that you cannot do without her in your life.
4. Your Are Sending Her The Wrong Message By Blocking Her
If you give in to an angry impulse to block your ex girlfriend, you are only shooting yourself in the foot and sending her the wrong message. She may construe your social media blocking actions as a slight and turn around and do the same thing to you.
5. Gives You the Opportunity To Block Her Later To Send Her a Message
So if you keep the social media channels open and running, you always give yourself the option of later using a blocking strategy to send her a message. Though I don’t often recommend you go to this extreme to convey a message. That is because in most cases, blocking is technique that is more often perceived as a negative, resulting in negative consequences.
Though I know some people block their ex to preserve their sanity as they can’t stand to follow them on social media. They may not be able to resist the temptation to check on there ex’s page. So they figure why not just take their ex girlfriend out of circulation.
But you may be surprised that you are very capable of summoning up the fortitude to not obsessively follow your ex’s every post and movement. It’s often better to harden up your emotional defenses as opposed to resorting to a blocking strategy.
What Should You Do If Your Ex Girlfriend Blocks You?
So we have been talking about whether you should block your ex and some of the disadvantages of doing that. Admittedly, it’s not a straightforward conversation given the complexities of relationships, but in most cases I side on the notion that it’s better not to block. But now let’s turn our attention on how you should react if your ex girlfriend decides she is going to block you.
1. Prepare Yourself To Get Your Feelings Hurt
You can think about how it might happen and worry out loud to your close friends about the prospect of being blocked and completely shut out. But when she gets around to blocking you for whatever reason, just know its going to burn a little hole in you heart.
As much as you think you can prepare for such a thing happening, when it does, it can cripple your emotional control center. So harden yourself up ahead of time, telling yourself that if she does shut you out this way, it’s not necessarily all bad and your are not going to collapse.
2. Don’t Fall Into The Trap of Retaliating Against Your Ex Girlfriend
So let’s say that out of the the blue, your ex blocks you. Don’t fall into the mistake of retaliating against your girlfriend. That approach almost always ends up in failure and makes you look small and petty.
Indeed, she may be secretly hoping you will do just that so as to hold the moral high ground. Or your foolish action of blocking your ex girlfriend could send her into a tailspin, further complicating matters.
3. Understand That This Is Often Part of the Breakup Process
If you are blocked, just tell yourself to roll with it and adapt and modify as necessary your ex recovery strategy. Being blocked on Facebook, Instagram, your phone or wherever else is not a rare event in today’s times.
4. Don’t Rush Out To Check Up on Your Ex Through a Mutual Friend
Once your ex girlfriend blocks you, don’t make the mistake of running to her best friend or mutual friends and getting them to check on what she is up to. When you do that, it smacks of desperation and makes you look unattractive.
Now, there may come a time in which you may want to leverage other relationships to send a subtle message. But don’t go running for pity or enlisting her best friend to be you spy in the early days.
5. Avoid Making a Fake Account To Keep Tabs On Her
Another temptation you might have to deal with is the desire to go make a fake account in order to keep tabs on her movements and communications. This approach in tracking her almost always fails. She will figure it out. Why? Well, often she is thinking of doing the same thing, particularly if the two of you are unknowingly mirroring each other.
6. Get Your Mind Off Of Your Ex Girlfriend – Recovery Activities
So getting dumped by your ex girlfriend and then blocked can take its toll on your emotional psyche.
So the first step in any sensible ex recovery plan is to get busy with your healing and recovery and part of that is about becoming the best version of “you”. Don’t ignore this step as you will find yourself falling deeper into the dark void.
7. Don’t Spend Your Time Obsessing Why Your Ex Girlfriend Blocked You
One of the most unproductive things you can do if you are blocked by an ex girlfriend is to dwell on her incessantly to the point it turns in an obsession.
Right now what is probably best for you in your situation is to end the communications between you and your ex. Turn your focus on thinking about things that gives you fulfillment. Just know that most of your thoughts around the reasons of the breakup and why she is blocking you are counterproductive. You are unlikely to make sense of it all. Why? Because many breakups are senseless at the core. Putting the pieces of the puzzle back together again to get closure can be futile.
8. Do Expect Your Ex To Eventually Unblock You Some Time Later
So before I leave you, I do have some good news.
Your ex girlfriend choosing to block you is seldom the end of the world or for that matter your relationship. There are often multiple reasons why she blocked you and they are not all bad.
The good news is that her curiosity and feelings around this whole matter of you and her and the breakup will likely evolve and so don’t be surprised if you find yourself unblocked.