Your Ex Girlfriend Keeps Texting You… What Does It Mean?

Hey guys!

What’s going on?

So, if you didn’t notice we have a few new additions to Ex Girlfriend Recovery.

If you boil my job down to the simplest level what I basically do is write these super long guides on exes to attract visitors and then once I have the visitors (if they like me enough) the will buy a product of mine that they think will help them.

But the truth is that the thing that matters most is the quality of the content that I am providing you on this website. So, in an effort to stay ahead of the game I have decided to implement two new things to EGR.

A Table of Contents

&

An Estimated Read Time

I figure that these features should provide a lot of value to you so you can quickly get to the sections that you want to read and understand exactly how long it’s going to take to read an article from start to finish.

But enough about that.

Lets get to the real reason you are here.

Your ex girlfriend is texting you.

Probably a lot…

I’ll admit that it’s not very often that a man finds himself in this situation. Most of the time the men who come to this website are super desperate to get their ex girlfriends back and end up spamming them with text messages of their own.

But that’s not the case for you, is it?

No, it seems that your ex girlfriend is the one texting you a lot after the breakup.

And I am sure you have a lot of questions.

What does it mean?

What is she feeling?

Is it possible to get her back?

Do I even want her back?

Well, I am going to answer all of those questions and more with this article but first I need you to understand something.

Before We Begin I Need To Tell You Something Important

Many men come to this website wanting to get their ex girlfriends back.

But there’s a problem with this line of thinking….

Getting an ex girlfriend back generally isn’t a simple process. It requires a lot of thought, strategy and even a little bit of luck.

The truth is that I can’t tell you everything that you absolutely need to know about getting your ex girlfriend back in this article.

For me to say that I can would be a lie.

Luckily, I have created something that can tell you just about everything you absolutely need to know to get your ex girlfriend back.

You can learn more about it by clicking the button below,

Get Relief Faster With Tactics I Can't Put on the Blog...

 

The Three Levels Of Your Ex Girlfriend Texting You

three

The first thing that you have to understand about an ex girlfriend texting you after a breakup is that there are generally three levels to the intensity of the text messages.

Hmm…

Maybe I should give you an example.

Ok, lets say that it’s been a month after your breakup from your ex and she has only texted you a total of five times.

I would say that’s pretty average.

But what if she had texted you 35 times?

Don’t you think that the intent behind someone who sends you 35 text messages versus someone who sent you only five is different?

Well, that’s what this section is all about.

But more on that in a second.

First, I’d like to introduce you to the three levels of your ex girlfriend texting you,

  1. Light Level
  2. Medium Level
  3. GNAT Level

Like always, I am going to give you an in-depth explanation for each of these three levels.

Lets start with the light level.

The Light Level

No.. not that type of light

No.. not that type of light

Your ex girlfriend would be classified under the light level if she texts you but not a lot.

According to this article 71% of people say that they think about their exes too much after a breakup.

What does that tells us?

Well, it tells us that when you think about someone the intent to talk to that person is there. Granted, that intent may be buried deep inside and hidden under anger and resentment but it’s still there.

And while I don’t have an actual statistic to throw out at you I can tell you that based on my experience of helping THOUSANDS of couples who have broken up I will say that more often than not you and your ex will talk again.

But I am getting way off topic here.

The point I was trying to make was that with the light level an ex girlfriend isn’t going to have texted you a lot.

Maybe she texted you very sparingly after the breakup just to feel you out.

What does it mean if she only texted you lightly?

Well, more on that later.

We still have two more levels to get through.

The Medium Level

medium

Your ex girlfriend is in the medium level if she texts you often but not “too often” if you catch my meaning.

Let’s say for arguments sake that the light level is receiving between 3 to 7 text messages from an ex girlfriend after a breakup. Well, the medium level would be if you received something like 8 to 13 text messages after the breakup.

Now, you may be looking at that and thinking,

“Chris, isn’t 8 to 13 text messages kind of… small?”

Maybe I should classify what I mean by “text messages” in this instance.

Traditionally a text message looks like this,

text message

So, if you received 8 to 13 of those then your ex would be considered to be in the medium level, right?

Hmmm…

Not exactly.

You would still be considered to be in the “light level.”

Why?

Well, because what really matters are the amount of texting conversations you have.

In other words, if you have 8 to 13 text message conversations then you are considered to be in the medium level.

Maybe I should have been more specific about that from the start, huh?

My bad…

I meant text conversations instead of text messages.

(AKA- This is me basically realizing I made a mistake for saying text messages instead of text conversations 1,000 words into this article and rather than going back and changing it I just rolled with it and explain it here. :p )

Lets move on to the final level…

GNATS!

The GNAT Level

I know what you are thinking.

“Gnats… seriously?”

Ya, those annoying little things that fly around your head and keep flying no matter how many times you swat at them.

gnat

But GNAT does stand for something else.

G– Going

N– Nuts

A– At

T– Texting

In this level your ex girlfriend texts you an insane amount of times.

We are talking something insane like 25 or 30 times.

Oh, and in case you skipped of the last section when I talk about texting in this instance I am talking about the amount of texting conversations you are having not the actual amount of text messages sent.

But what does it mean when an ex girlfriend texts you this much?

I am glad you asked.

What Does It Mean When She Texts You?

what does it mean

So we are going to do something a little bit different with this section.

Don’t worry.

It’s not going to be anything too complicated.

Basically this section is going to tie directly into the section above where I talked about the three levels.

How?

Well, if you noticed above I went into what the three levels were but I never really went into what they meant or what was going through an ex girlfriends mind when she was engaging in those levels.

That’s what this section is for.

Basically what I am going to do is take the three levels,

  1. Light Level
  2. Medium Level
  3. GNAT Level

And explain what they mean.

More specifically, I am going to explain your ex girlfriends intent during the levels.

Lets start with the light level.

What It Means If Your Girlfriend Is In The Light Level?

If your ex girlfriend is in the light level it means she is just going through the average emotions that a woman is supposed to go through during a breakup when she texts you. She just isnt going through them as often as other ex girlfriends may be.

You are aware of the five stages of grief right?

You have denial…

Anger…

Bargaining…

Depression…

And Acceptance…

But what do these stages look like?

Well, a little like this,

5 stages

Your ex girlfriend has the potential to text you during any one of these stages of grief during the light level. However, I will say that she is more likely to text you during denial, anger and acceptance.

How does that work.

Ok, lets imagine that your ex girlfriend is in the denial stage of the grief process.

What would a text from her look like?

denial

It would look like there is nothing wrong.

Remember, she is in denial so she is probably going to text you like nothing is wrong. Of course, deep down she understands that a breakup occurred so she isn’t going to go overboard with this and an important thing to remember is that the denial stage won’t last forever.

Next up is the anger stage.

Now, I bet you are wondering why I chose the “light level” to talk about the anger stage, huh?

Have you ever been in a fight before?

OBVIOUSLY!

(Since you and your ex girlfriend broke up.)

Well, what happens during a fight in a relationship.

There is a lot of talking… yelling… screaming… and hurtful things said. And then there is a period of quietness as each party waits for the other to do something or make some apology. This fits perfectly in with the light level since she isn’t going to text you in an over the top manner.

Anger texts from an ex girlfriend are a flash in the pan.

She will text you a bunch of times in a short span and then it dries up. This is especially true when you are dealing with a breakup.

What does an anger text look like?

anger

And then finally we have the acceptance stage.

Depending on if you want your ex back or if you just want her to leave you alone an acceptance texts are really good or really bad.

Really good if you want her to move on and really bad if you want her back.

An acceptance text is basically the “lets JUST be friends” type of text.

Or any text that’s friendly but no real conversation happens after it.

Hmm… How can I put this to you in a better way?

It’s sort of like when you have a friend (who is a girl) that you have no feelings for texts you and you text back. That is the acceptance stage text messages.

Imagine receiving this text message after ten days of not talking.

acceptance

Alright lets move on to the next level.
At What Point Of The “Ex Girlfriend Recovery” Strategy Is She Texting You?

The Proverbial Fork In The Road

  1. Getting Over Her
  2. Trying To Get Her Back

If You Want Her Back It’s Going To Require Some Game Plan Adjustments

The Medium Level

medium level

So, what stages of grief show up during the medium level.

Well, technically, like I said above, all the stages can show up but there are really only two that are more prevalent than others.

Denial

&

Bargaining

Lets start with denial.

So, the thing that I really want to talk about with this is the fact that I did say denial can show up in the light level.

Do you remember?

I basically said that your ex girlfriend will act like a breakup never happened but eventually catch on that it did and stop texting you as much. Well, an ex girlfriend who continues to text you like there is nothing wrong and doesn’t seem to stop is probably going to be in the medium level.

In fact, I have heard some stories where men have actually had to sit a woman down and explain to them that they don’t want to hear from them again.

Ah…

That reminds me of a funny story.

This happened once with one of my friends way back when I was in high school 8 years ago (geez… has it been that long?)

Anyways, my friend ended up dating a girl who he liked at first but for some reason he just grew tired of her and decided to break up with her.

She took the news amazingly well…

A little too well…

Fast forward about three days and I get a call from my buddy.

“Chris, you aren’t going to believe this. Jane (not really her name but lets just call her that) is acting like the breakup never happened. She just texts and calls me like normal. She is in DENIAL.”

So, if your ex girlfriend is acting like the breakup never happened and she hasn’t shown any signs of letting up then she is definitely projecting denial during the medium level.

Of course, there is another stage of grief that shows up quite frequently during the medium level, Bargaining.

Tell me if this sounds familiar.

Please, please, please take me back. I will do anything. I will be the perfect girlfriend. I will give you massages and buy you nice things. I just want to be your girlfriend.

Ringing any bells?

Basically when it comes to bargaining your ex girlfriend is going to beg for you back and try to frame the begging with the fact that she is going to do a better job the next time around. However, she isn’t going to do this on an extreme level.

What do I mean by that?

She isn’t going to become a GNAT.

Oh, speaking of gnats…

The GNAT Level

Care to take a guess at what stage of grief really dominates the GNAT level?

BARGAINING!

But with a little touch of anger and depression.

Lets talk about bargaining first.

With the medium level I explained to you what bargaining was BUT the GNAT level takes bargaining to a new level.

Imagine 4 or 5 texts being sent to you like this,

bargaining

This is essentially bargaining on steriods and it is what highlights the GNAT level.

But like I said above, the GNAT level isn’t only laced with bargaining. Nope, a touch of depression and anger also enter it.

Bear with me here.

Lets put ourselves in your exes shoes for a minute (assuming she is in the GNAT level.)

You have just sent your ex boyfriend a ton of bargaining text messages and he hasn’t responded to them.

How does that make you feel?

Angry…

I mean, you poured your heart and soul out in these text messages and got no response.

How dare he do that.

That’s when you start sending text messages like this,

anger

And then a certain amount of clarity hits you.

The clarity that the breakup is real and your ex boyfriend never really cared for you.

Ugh… it’s so depressing 😉 .

And you start sending messages like this,

depression

This is depression and anger during the GNAT level in a nutshell.

So, where do we go from here?

Well, that’s really up to you.

The Proverbial Fork In The Road

Do you know what a fork in the road is?

It’s defined as the point in a road where it branches in two.

Throughout this entire guide I have been trying to explain what is going through your ex girlfriends mind if she texted you after a breakup.

I feel I have done a pretty decent job of explaining it with the five stages of grief.

But what happens next is entirely up to you.

What do I mean by that.

Well, we have come to the fork in the road.

fork in the road

No, not that fork.

Ugh… don’t you guys listen at all?

A fork in the road is basically an intersection that divides in two.

I swear… sometimes I wonder if it’s worth my time to even create these posts for you.

Anyways, you are at the fork in the road,

fork

(Yes, this is what I was talking about with the fork in the road.)

And this “fork” basically represents two choices on what you can do with the information I just taught you.

fork

Choice One: You Can Move On From Your Ex Girlfriend

Choice Two: You Can Try To Get Her Back

Now, I can teach you to do both things but it’s really up to you on what you want to do.

My only piece of advice here is to do what you think is best for you in the long run.

A lot of times men get what I like to call tunnel vision.

Basically they zone in on one girl (often their exes) and do everything they can to get her back when if they were to look at the situation objectively from the start they would have realized that getting her back isn’t going to be worth it.

Why do we fail to do this?

Because the challenge of getting a girl back is appealing.

I mean, lets be honest here.

I remember after the very first breakup I ever went through I was taking a shower and I had this moment where I was thinking,

“You know what… I am going to get her back. Just to prove that I can.”

Was this a good idea?

NO WAY!

But the idea of the challenge was appealing to me and I bet if you have tunnel vision you are just like me with regards to the challenge.

So, do yourself a favor and drop the tunnel vision for a moment and look at your situation objectively.

…..

…..

…..

You can’t do it can you?

Ok, well let me help you out.

It turns out that I have put together a diagnostic tool for you to use to determine if getting your ex girlfriend is really worth the effort or not.

In other words, I am helping you determine which path to take in the fork.

Download The Diagnostic Tool Here

So, if you took the time to download the diagnostic tool above you will notice that there are 29 yes or no questions found there. However, there is no key or legend that tells you what answering yes or no means.

I did this on purpose so you would come back here and finish reading the rest of this article.

Now, I am a big believer in keeping things simple so here is the most simple way that I can explain this.

Answering Yes = Good

Answering No = Bad

In other words, the more yes’ that you get the better and the more no’s that you get the worse.

But how many yes’ will it take for me to recommend to take the path of getting an ex girlfriend back?

Well, I say that if you can answer yes to 80% of the questions on that list then I can give you my blessing.

In case you can’t count that comes out to 23.2 questions. But lets round down and say that you have to answer yes to 23 questions.

		

Written by EGR team mate

Chris Seiter

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103 Comments on "Your Ex Girlfriend Keeps Texting You… What Does It Mean?"

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IMP
Guest
I don’t want my ex back I’m just confused. When we broke up she actually ended up dating my friend and they’re still together. I’m dating someone as well, it’s been 6 months I haven’t tried or wanted to contact her. She was blocked on everything and reached out to me through her friends Facebook. She told me our mutual friend had passed away but she was blocked and couldn’t contact me. I unblocked her and wasn’t very friendly to be honest. Fast forward a couple weeks I decided to be friendly so I unblocked her on snap and my… Read more »
grb
Guest
so me and my girl been dating off and on for like a year and a half and its a weird circle of events where she begins to lose interest which makes me just leave altogether which makes her more interested and want me back…the latest thing is that she’s been texting and calling me every single day for the past few weeks and I respond in hopes of talking things out and trying to reconcile stuff from our past so we can move past it…she seems to just wanna have a good time and pretend nothing is wrong…we went… Read more »
ryan
Guest
I broke up with my gf about a year ago as I was traveling for an indefinite amount of time. Once I returned, we hung out and both realized we still had a lot of feelings for each other and we hooked up. However she was seeing someone else and after some painful process we didn’t give our relationship another try. We have been through periods of NC but lately she has been texting me a lot with issues going on in her life and asking me about my own life. Recently I woke up to a text from her… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Ryan,

If you go after her, does that mean you can have a relationship with her in your current situation?

Ryan
Guest

Like I said I still have lots of feelings for her. I would be open to a new relationship after talking it out but not jumping into it as there are any things that need to be discussed. I haven’t messaged her in 2 weeks now and she hasn’t messaged me either. I think she is conflicted about talking to me now that she is with someone new but I feel pretty sure she still has feelings for me.

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

if you really want to try, then just keep building rapport slowly with her.

Larriphi
Guest
My ex and I have been apart for 3 weeks. We lived together, had talked about kids, marriage, and even have investments together. I know that’s a lot for 7 months. In the end we began arguing, she thought I was critical of her, and on 3 occasions I asked her to move out. Each time of course I would promise it would be different, and it wasn’t. So, in the 3 weeks she has left, we have had endless contact, but she has completely erased our pictures/relationship from all social media. Early I tried non-stop to get her back,… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Larriphi,

She friendzoned you..

Aninda
Guest
( Sorry for the long post). I am a 25 years old Indian man. I was in a relationship with a girl since April 2014 (during last year of Engineering, the course ended in May). There were huge religious and cultural differences but we decided to work it out together. Then I went for coaching to another city for some higher level courses. She came to that city also for pursuing the same coaching, she lived in the nearby apartment that year (14-15) as paying guest (same like me). We used to roam together the whole city and had wonderful… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Aninda,

You didn’t break nc if you didn’t have small talk and you just gave her things..

Rockwell
Guest
Weird situation help!! So me and my gf just broke up after a year and I’ve found myself in a very strange situation. Going to post a bit of background info as I think this need for advice warrants it.. We’ve been in a LDR for just over a year, we live in completely separate countries, only managed to see each other once every 3 months because of the distance. My gf struggled with the distance massively, we’ve had a couple of very short breaks previously where she questioned the relationship but we carried on and imo got stronger. At… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
SW
Guest
Girlfriend of almost 2 years decided she needed to take a break to work on herself and her anxiety. She’s been diagnosed with anxiety disorder since we started dating. She’s about to turn 26 and graduate college. We never fought. We were seemingly happy and best friends. A few weeks back the topic of “If she could see this as a long term relationship” came up and she hesitated and said she wasn’t sure because she had commitment issues, but then she agreed. She seemed fine as can be. Then 2 weeks or so go by and again the topic… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

HI SW,

how did that talk go?

Sam
Guest
Hi, I’m currently in no contact rule. My ex has been texting me and I haven’t answered. Though yesterday she was texting me all the time and asking me back (saying I was the one for her and that she had made a terrible mistake) and saying her life didn’t make sense without me. The tone of the messages mind of scared me. I answered briefly today saying I wasn’t ready to talk to her, since I treated that as an “urgent” thing. Now what? Restart the no contact? Keep counting the days until 21 days have passed? Go and… Read more »
Sam
Guest

Oh! By the way, this happened in day #13/#14 pf no contact rule.

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

If you wanted her back, breaking the no contact rule because she asked you back is ok..

JOJOLINE
Guest
I have been in NC for 5 days. But day 3 she texted me “hey” after she initiates the brake up with me in the first place. I haven’t responded to her, and she called me, which I ignored it also. And now she is sending me texts saying I’m being disrespectful and rude that I’m ignoring her texts. She is the one that said it wasn’t a good idea for us to talk in the first place, now she’s saying I’m being rude and disrespectful that I’m ignoring her. What am I suppose to do? Also should I open… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi JoJoline,

it would be better to just ignore her, don’t reply.. If you want you can use an app that lets you read the message without her knowing.. for android there’s an app call unseen.. I’m not sure with apple though..

Jo
Guest
Hi there, I was with a girl for over 6 months, in the last few weeks she started getting cold and I asked her what was wrong, and of course if there was someone else. She told me that she didnt want to be in a relationship and that there was someone from her past that was texting again. I tried to get her back inmediately, but she was just not the same, so I started to leave things the way she wanted, especially because she keeps avoiding me, recentely I started with the NC in a form of moving… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Jo,

so what do you really want Jo? Move on or try again?

Jo
Guest

I would like to try again. I was trying to move because I feel hurt and she looks unwilling to continue… But I would like to try again.

Jo
Guest

I would like to try.

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

then just continue doing the no contact rule. Focus in improving and healing yourself..Set aside thinking about going back to her or not and just focus in your activities

martins
Guest
Hi, I was wondering if you could please offer me an advise. My girlfriend who I really love and she has just broken up with me, wants us to be friends and I did tell her that i am more interested in a relationship rather than been friends. I know that this did hurt her. Recently she has twice in the last 2 days texted me, and she ends her text messages with the words, “you are a good friend”. At the moment, I do not know how to deal with these messages or what sort of reply to give.… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Martins,

If you’re in no contact, don’t reply to her and don’t text or call her too.. Focus in improving yourself. You didn’t say how long you were together, but the most common number of days of no contact is 30 days. You can try that.

Dale
Guest
Hi, I could do with some advice please. Me and my ex girlfriend was in a really good relationship for just over two years whilst she was at university in the UK (shes Chinese). She wanted to stay and try and find a job after her masters degree, but was under a lot of pressure from her parents (mainly her dad) to return home so she did. I left my job and went with her to china for 3 months to try and win over her parents and family, as they disagreed with her dating me. All seemed to be… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Dale,

looks like she misses you but she’s not strong enough to stand on her own

Pepe
Guest
Hi, i read your post and although it’s usefum, it doesnt really help in my situation. So the thing is i had been having a long distance relationship for a while. Some days ago i decides that i couldnt keep doing it anymore so i broke up with her. When i told her the news he was really sad and begged me not to leave her, but honestly i didnt want to be with her anymore. And now ebery day since i broke up with her she keeps texting me like nothing ever happened. I told her several times that… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Pepe,

just be straight to the point but in a calm way.. and tell her that you wont be replying to her texts anymore too for her to move on..

George
Guest
Hello, thank you very much for this site and the product (just purchased it today!). Here is my story. We started our dating long distance and dated for 7 months, with lots of love (although at times there were some arguments, like most relationships). She also suffers from depression and it made things difficult at times. We both live overseas (outside of the States) although I am American. Her family left her to the States 8 years ago and she had to live on her own (big reason why she has depression). Anyways, about 4 months ago, she was given… Read more »
George
Guest
Thank you very much for this website and the book, which I read twice already. I would truly appreciate a response to my above post. Update: She has texted me a few times, I didn’t respond – she was saying that she was looking at our old videos on her phone and then I actually ran into her best friends and they told me that they were so upset at her for leaving me. I then looked at my phone an hour later and another text message from her. I decided it was best to break the NC and speak… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi George,
first, she lost attraction, and now I think she’s just friendzoning you.. She misses you but not enough to get back to you, so she keeps talking to you because she’s used to do that

George
Guest
Yes, that is exactly what happened. Unfortunately, her feelings for me got brought up and she said she loves me as a friend and that “time will tell” if she ever falls in love with me. In a very loving way, in summary I told her please don’t contact me if you just want to be friends and that I don’t want to be in the friend zone. I told her she can text me if she has other thoughts but, until then, I will contact her when I am ready. It felt really good to tell her this –… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

hmm dont think about that too much.nn answer it when nc is over

Andrew
Guest
My ex girlfriend and I have been broken up for about a month and a half. When it first happened I was the one attempting to make contact with her. She would tell me that she thought if we continued to talk it would just make things harder in the end. I kept inviting her out and she kept saying no and that she felt it would only complicate things. About two weeks ago I told her I realized I had been being to pushy about trying to talk with her and trying to see her and that I look… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Andrew,

at least you already asked her if she thinks about the two of you.. so, the thing is, she’s friendzoning you.. you have to restart no contact.. and by no contact that means no small talk too. You only talk if it’s really an emergency.. You can be honest with her before you do no contact, like tell her you can’t handle being friends yet, so you’re going to do some time alone.. but don’t tell her for how long..

Ross
Guest
I have a feeling girl was flirting with another guy for weeks by text. I confronted her and she denied it of course but I told her I can’t trust her anymore. I’ve gone 5 days with no contact and she’s text me 8 times already in these 5 days. Also sent me 2 dms online and tagged me in something. I’ve ignored all these messages and never even opened my Internet to see what the dms and tagged post were. I’m so infuriated at her I’m really considering blocking her number and online and getting over her for good… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Ross,

you said you have a feeling, but did you prove it was true? Because what if it wasn’t? If you can talk it out first, do that. SO you won’t misunderstand each other and you will have a clear no contact if ever you need to do it.

Ross
Guest

She text me a bunch in the last 4 days then yesterday she said sorry and asked if I wanna go get a coffee tomorrow (which is now today). I figured it would be a dbag move to keep ignoring her at this point bcuz I figured she was already regretting what she did and the meetup was her idea so I texted her back and accepted her invitation.

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Yes, that’s good. How did it go?

Ross
Guest
That day went good she seemed to be enjoying herself and we’ve had lots of positive interaction all week. Told me she was talking to her family about me last week and she wants to organize a night to meet all of them (already know her parents and siblings) she did twice ask me to go for dinner this week but canceled both though (once because she said she had to leave work sick that day and another because she had to stay home with the contractors working on her renovations which I believe because these have been goin on… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

let’s say she was making an excuse that day, that’s ok, she’s human, maybe she felt lazy going out… as long as she’s still interested focus on that.

Max
Guest
Hey Great Site, are you still responding to inquiries?? My ex would often take intentional breaks “to see if she missed me”, the last time she did so she missed me so much it was a literal love fest. She said “I dont know what this means”. well, obviously not that much because 3-4 weeks later she broke up with me citing “it shouldnt be so hard to feel something for you”. A week after the break I reached out and she said “I miss you, but that doesnt mean I want an us.” But then…we talked..EVERY DAY, almost ALL… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Max,
sorry for the late reply.. she takes intentional breaks to miss you or she just does that everybody whenever she does something on her own?

Max
Guest
Hey, sorry for my late reply, I never got a response notification in my email and I have literally been combing this site for weeks trying to remember which article I left the comment on. So here’s an update. Frist to answer your question, She takes breaks “to see if I missed you”. In other words, I guess she’s trying to find out if her feelings are “real” by the logic of “if I miss him when we dont talk there must be something special there”. I’m assuming it’s just to me, but actually I’m unsure. She could just be… Read more »
Max
Guest
pt 2. she’s responded finally. as if there was no break at all. textin was light, she asked me how my day was and when I responded that I’m facing daily challenges with a smile she replied “wow, you are taking things in stride much better than I am” (I presume she’s talking about her day…I encouraged her that I’m here for her if she needs anything (wondering if I shouldnt have done that) and encouraged her that although life throws punches, you can alway position and posture your self to brace for and react to the punch. it’s the… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Max,

okay, what does she say whenever you go out on dates? You’re like dating with no labels.. you think she knows how much you like her and she knows you’re just there?

Max
Guest
Hi Amor, So the dates are interesting they’ve increased in frequency intensity. The first one was a movie two months ago, and it took a lot of convincing her to not overthink things, “if you enjoy my company and want to have fun just do it”! it went well but she made it a point to mention we’re friends twice during that night. Lots of daily conversations and texting, we did evening dinners a few times. She used to make a point to come up with a random “reason” for it to happen. (let’s trade these items, I need to… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Max,

With everything that’s happening and when she said you should be the one to decide, yes! you should try that! If she likes those kind of stuff that’s good!

Max
Guest

OK! I’m going for it. I’m so nervous though. she had a busy weekend with friends once again, and now the usual call we share in the morning she didnt make. (although I did get a GM text). My cousin suspects I overthhink things sometimes, but I’m pertrified of losing the window before she moves on….Wish me luck. Any last minute advice? In the meantime should I do scattered NC when she draws away or should I reach out? In any case, I’m focusing to get this done by next week, its going to take lots of hours.

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

H Max,

what do you mean when she pulls away?

Max
Guest
what I mean by her pulling away is the fact that she’ll get in a routine , such as contact me every morning in her way to work for weeks. And then stop. She changes it to every evening on her way home to every evening after she gets home to daily mid day check ins etc. I think I’m just a bit too nervous in that respect I have to realize that her switching up is part of her composition and not necessarily a shifting away. I fear “out of sight out of mind” but I dont think that’s… Read more »
Max
Guest
OH CRAP!! So yesterday, I found my ex reactivated her old dating profule on okCupid. and I paniced BIG TIME. started walking in circles, and immediately called her and asked her out. she was only too eager to go! The big big surprise is almost done, but I bought a card and flowers and we went out to dinner. Had a great time at dinner, really good and enjoyable. then on the way home I gave her the card which essentially said “I enjoy you, I was thinking of you…etc”. She seemed SLIGHTLY uncomfortable, but it may have just been… Read more »
Max
Guest

false aarm, it’s all good. she called and chatted like nothing happened. 🙂 I get nervous as you can see. bad news, her cat was just diagnosed with an aggressive form of cancer.not sure if my timing is good now, and I’m going to have to edit my video to remove the cat references 🙁

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Max you need to practice being more relax and avoid being impulsive.

Max
Guest
Hi Amor, you’re absolutely right. I do need to relax and be less impulsive. Seeing her on the dating site really hurt me, but nothing I can do. I’m still who I am and I’ll still present my case. She’s been kind of distant lately but her cat died and she got sick all at the same time she joined the dating site. So I don’t know what the individual reason is or if it’s some combination of everything. But, NO MORE IMPULSES. I appreciate the advice!!! The “gift” is ready. It took a month and a half to complete,… Read more »
Max
Guest
Advice request please! So you have seen my lengthy rambles detailing our history. In 4 weeks she goes off to school on a literal mountaintop in VT. for a few months. We hung out yesterday, she invited me over and I stayed had dinner and wine until the midnight hour (there was another houseguest present, so no romance, but there was a strong laughing joking, reminiscing connection). Today I asked her did she want to hang and she said she has an early day tomorrow and is not up for company. Fair enough….but when I called later this evening she… Read more »
Max
Guest
Crash and burn. Two months of effort voice actors originality green screens and investment. I drove two hours to the florist to deliver her a huge bouquet. And I had them deliver the flash drive with the video. Annnnnnd. Nothing. This morning I saw her on the dating site again. Not two words to me no text or thank you or wow. Nothing. So I texted her”I reached out via text and email yesterday and nothing…are you upset because that was the opposite of my intent or are you just having a mellow weekend.” She responded “I didn’t get your… Read more »
Maxe day, moment by moment, frie
Guest
Maxe day, moment by moment, frie
OK, So she called me!! it was not the worst conversation. She appreciated the gesture but said my timing was horrible. She had missed time from work due to depression over losing her cat, (she never shared this), and the two things that stood out to her was that it seemed I was trying to capatilize on the moment of weekness by showing up detailing how much I cared for her. she said “it’s like the sneaky friend that comforts a girl when she’s breaking up with her man and then tries to put his tongue in her mouth as… Read more »
Max
Guest
Sorry for all the updates, but here’s a biggie. After our talk two days ago which ended with her wanting to go to sleep, I asked her out last she replied “nah, I’m going home”. Then I said can I call, she replied “I dont want to talk to you”. Of course I pleaded, she called me and said “what” I apologized again for her thinking I was trying to take advantage of her grieving. (totally was NOT). and told her I value the friendship and it was not a ploy to get back to her (have I been “friendzoned”?… Read more »
Max
Guest
OK!! So I realize I’m giving you lengthy updates, please feel free to condense/consolidate my earlier comments. This one you’ll love. During the time we were not talking I studied theadvice on your site and came accross the article how to respond after a fight. YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT….When she called again, she said “You dont even know the reason I was mad at you…I was mad because you didnt listen. I tried to talk you monopolised the conversation I checked out and you didnt even notice”! (Having read this blog’s advice earlier I did the two things Chris advises… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Max! I”m so sorry.. it’s not because of your updates. I’ve just been really busy with other tasks. I hope you got back together.

Max
Guest
Hi, no worries on the delay, it seems our situation changes every day. As of now she’s trusting me to do something she hates, buy a car. (she’s buying, I’m doing all the research). I created her own personal website for her to browse and review cars that are specific to her. We are not back togehter, but we are close, no intimacy, and honestly I’m wondering if my cousin is right and I’m being the world’s biggest fool. Why am I doing all this for someone that is on TWO dating sites, (I noticed OKC and POF on her… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

just want to make it clear, she wants to borrow money from you? if yes, don’t lend her.

it’s good that she’s reaching out to you that but you have to be careful if she just needs your skills or if she really wants to reconnect

and you have to maintain being the alpha male. Don’t always be available for her..

Max
Guest
Yes, she said if I wanted o loan her 3000 she’d be ok with it but I had to promise I would let her pay me back. That didnt happen. She got frustrated that a car she loved was no longer available, and before I knew it I blurted out “I’ll pay 1,000.00 towards your car to match your downpayment”. it just came out, smh. I’m not trying to buy her but trying to show her I can help her do all that she sets out to do. I can organize and plan and help push her. these are ALL… Read more »
Nbf
Guest
hi, i’m in a bad situation here. I don’t know what to do… I was in a relationship, for 6/7 months, but we were hiding from everyone because of my 2 best friends, one is her ex, and the other 1 liked her very much… I was never capable of talking to them, say to them my feelings. That ruined my relationship, because she wanted to be with me and there was always something that kept us from seeing each other, because we had to hide it. Then she got fed up at some point and talked about being alone… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Nbf,

so right now you’re friends with benefits right?

NBF
Guest
No, just friends, good friends, she phones me, i phone her… Today for example i was going to break any sort of communication, because after what she told me yesterday (“i’m not very found of it because i don’t want to give you hope…”) i was having doubts if she really wants me to fight for her or not, but she texted me a good morning text. I don’t know what she wants, for example saturday we went out and she was very close to me we were touching each other, i could see in her eyes, 100% sure she… Read more »
NBF
Guest

even yesterday i said, “i like talking to you so much” and she said “me too :)”

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Nbf,
sorry for the late reply.. that’s good that you’re not friends with benefits? How are things now?

Nbf
Guest

Nop, just friends, good friends, she calls me on my cellphone, i call her… Thursday it’s my birthday and she is going to sleep over at my house, I don’t know what to do… Saturday we went out and she was touching me, close to me, i saw in her eyes, she was touching and curling her hair, etc… i know 100% sure she wants it, but sometimes it seems she doesn’t… Note that i’m a present guy, i don’t talk to her abou what it could be or what it was, just normal talk, jokes and stuff.

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Nbf,
sorry for the late reply.. that’s good that you’re not friends with benefits? How are things now?

IAMBACK
Guest
Hello Chris, Can you please take a few minutes to hear my story ? Long story short : I am 35 busy entrepreneur she’s 23. its a LDR for 1,5 Year. I was going under a lot of pression and lacked of attention to her… i told her in between many times she must fix some issues which she did and then i got into a very stressful situation… We talked about it about to stop the relation and we decided to continue.. Once back to her country she sent a email saying it she had strong bounds but that… Read more »
IAMBACK
Guest

Some news, in the meantime she started to send me some pics of places we ve been together and when i didn’t reply a picture of nice loving pet looking like for care, and i din’t reply for another few days and she sent me a message like whats happening to you are you angry at me ?
Wha t do you think with all what i am saying ?
Thank you.

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi,
I saw you recent summary post, I know you want Chris’advice, So I’ll talk to him about it.. Though I can’t promise it would be right away, but I’ll get back with you asap after we talked

IAMBACK
Guest

Thank you Amor, please try to tell me what do you think as i do not want to make any bad step…
Have a great day 😉

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

actually I think you need to continue building attraction..maybe she refused to see you because she’s not sure..so more rapport and attraction can help her be sure

Joey
Guest

Good morning Chris. Happy Sunday. I clearly get the message of the diagnostic tool. I got 21 “yes”!!! That feels scary, but please help me. I just desire her back. She is all I long for. Please help me. Even with a ZERO score of “yes”, I still just love her. Thanks.

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Joey,

What’s your story and are you doing nc?

Joey
Guest
She called it off after a 7 month – relationship. She was reuniting with an old flame. I admit that I pushed her by my insensitivity to her emotional needs. (enough of self blame though) she called it off 8 days ago. I begged, called and texted. I got so desperate as to call for external help in convincing her to stay. I am currently on NC day number 2… she’s been calling and texting since yesterday. I am here for help because in her I see the love of my life, my wife and mother of my children. Please… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

be active during nc..do progressive stuff so it will be easier

Rey
Guest
Hey Chris my ex dumped me 7 months ago. During that time she ignored my messages.On the 6th month we went out for a walk just to see each other after a long time and we had the greatest night ever.Now she is contacting me every once in a while and if she don’t hear from me for 2 or 3 days she send me some random msgs with what she is doing or something stupid.Im curious is she just trying to get my attention and just checking if I’m still there for her? Because that’s just weird.Everytime when I… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Rey,

She is reconnecting but it looks she’s taking time to think too on how to interact with you.

Lee
Guest
Hi Chris, I know I commented on another post of yours but this particular one relates to where I am now. So we did meet up the other night and things were fun and light hearted to start, then things got emotional ending up with her crying into my arms. She’s since been texting me quite a lot although I know she is still seeing this other guy. I’m replying to the texts in a light hearted manner and don’t want to go too deep into emotions of the break up/wanting her back. I hope in time that will come… Read more »
Dan
Guest

Interesting article, my ex is doing the same at the moment, but she’s a bit more deliberate, like she constantly sends me small random texts about her day, than a huge wall of texts to get my reaction, after Inreply its back to the short texts, and thats on a daily basis, do you think she just wants my attention and tries to get emotional support from me ?

Jay
Guest
Hi Chris, I bought both of your books. I think there’s some valuable and good advices, but in my opinion, I think it lacks a bit of information on long distance relationships. I would be very happy, if you could take a few minutes to read my story and give me your advices on how I could adjust your method with my current situation. Long story short. Me 27, she 23. 3 years of relationship. Half of it was a Long distance relationship. Started by living together, ended by distance. Pretty mature and healthy relationship. Mutual break-up. Still lot’s of… Read more »
Jay
Guest

Small update :

We exchanged a few messages, basically just making coments on the horror that is going in France and both told each other that we should take care and be cautions.

That’s it.

Jay
Guest

There’s only been 7 days since the NC phase and the last time we contact (the france terrorism thing was friday) (my long comment is still marked as “awaiting moderation” btw ?).
I did the “You will never know what i saw yesterday”.
She responded very very quickly, waited 20~30 minutes to give her the answer and she got impatient.
Answered and it went smooth. Some small chit chat.
I guess i will wait a few days before I send another text.

Jay
Guest
Hey Chris, thank you very much for the answer. I really appreciate it =) We felt a lot of distance before the end of our relationship, and weren’t that close anymore. Plus, there was no “out of the tunnel” make up plan where both of us will live in the same city. She also said that she thought she could handle all this situation but that she thinks that she was wrong, that it’s to tough to manage her last yeat of studying and manage our relationship. We had both uncertitudes, now I understand it was mainly because we didn’t… Read more »
Jay
Guest

Hey Chris,

Update : It’s been 7 days since the last small contact we had each other and she just sent me a message today. A picture of her cat (she used to send them often when we were back together), and told me that she got a copy of a documentary at her school that I always wanted to watch, but never found anywhere.

Probably just a friendly message.

What’s next ? 😮

Lee
Guest
Hey Chris, My ex girlfriend keeps texting me. I’d say light texts. Basically I’ve done LC for first month mainly texting about kids. I’ve now decided to go NC as an attempt to get her to miss me. As still being around general chit chat didn’t seem like she would miss me. My question is why is she still keeping in contact with me. (For the kids you say) but she would text me for other things that are pointless and no need to contact me for. She has been pretty cold since the break up but will text me… Read more »
Lee
Guest
Yes, around 2 weeks ago she messaged me informing me that my dogs toy I ordered online had arrived. I didn’t reply to then recieving another text from her in the evening asking me if I was taking the kids out to a show booked?? I then had to reply and said basically yes I was and is be staying up there. Few days had passed then she contacted me again telling me she has arranged me to stay at her parents (as it was in their home town) and I could stay there if I wanted? After attending the… Read more »