Is It Possible To Get An Ex Girlfriend Back Fast?

Have you ever noticed how our generation has become addicted to getting things fast?

Let me give you an example.

The other day I was driving and didn’t know how to get to my final destination. So, instead of pulling over and taking out a map or asking someone for directions I just took out my phone, went to Google (the way to get answers fast now-a-days) and figured it all out via Google Maps.

It’s the same thing with video games.

I remember the days when I would have to wait in line at a store to get a midnight release for a video game but now all you have to do is download it online and in about 10 to 20 minutes the game is completely downloaded to your system.

What’s my point?

We all want things fast now-a-days. In fact, in many cases the faster the better.

Hell, this is even backed up by science.

According to a popular statistic website called statistic brain,

The average attention span of a human being in the year 2000 was 12 seconds.

Care to take a guess at what it is today?

8.25 seconds….


So, in these last 15 years we have become more and more addicted to getting information fast and it’s showing up in our attention span numbers as we jump from one thing to the next.

Now to put in perspective at how pathetic the 8.25 seconds is a goldfish has an attention span of 9 seconds.

What’s the point of me telling you all of this?

Well, this entire article is dedicated to answering one simple question.

Is it possible to get an ex girlfriend back fast?

I will answer that question in a second.

First lets talk a bit about getting an ex girlfriend back fast.

What Do You Consider To Be Fast?


I always struggle with this because I feel the definition for fast is so all over the place.

You can have one guy who thinks that getting an ex girlfriend back in ten days is fast and then another who thinks that getting her back in 90 days is fast.

So, before I really get into the in’s and outs of what it takes to get an ex girlfriend back fast I think we should come up with a definition for what is considered fast? Now, I would like to nominate myself as the entity that determines this due to my experience in dealing with thousands of exes.

If anyone opposes this nomination say I…



No one?



I would like to introduce you to our new “fast chooser” Chris Seiter!

Screen Shot 2015-12-04 at 4.05.50 PM

Man, what a handsome devil!

Ok, all kidding aside what is considered to be fast when it comes to getting an ex girlfriend back.

Well, one of the benefits of being me is that I get to see a lot of success stories and the beautiful thing about success stories is that the people who have them are willing to tell you exactly how long it took for them to succeed.

Based on everything I have seen and been a part of… on average it will take about 2 to 3 months to successfully win back an ex girlfriend.

(Remember, I am basing this off of the success stories on this website (Ex Girlfriend Recovery.))

So, lets just split the difference and say the average time that it will take for a man to successfully win an ex girlfriend back will be 2.5 months.

Average Time Of Success: 2.5 Months

Why is it important to know this?

Well, it’s important because once we have an average amount of time of success we can determine what is fast by cutting it in half.

In other words, I am going to ask you to do some basic math here.

If you take the (average time of success) and divide it by 2 (which effectively cuts the time it takes for success in half) you will get,

2.5/2 = 1.25

Now for those of you who aren’t really good with looking at things with mathematics googles on let me break this down by days.

Two and a half months is the rough equivalent of 75 days.

So, if you take 75 days and divide it by two then you are going to get 37.5. However, I would like to round that up to give us a definitive number at 38.

So, if you can get your ex girlfriend back 38 days after the break up then I would consider that to be fast.

What Is Considered Fast: 38 Days

Now, that leads us to our next question.

Is Getting An Ex Girlfriend Back In 38 Days Even Possible?


Interesting question.

I’ll admit that before I started writing this article I never really thought much about this. However, now that it’s the question on deck here I am going to do my best to answer it.

I’ll keep it simple.

Is it possible?

Sure, it’s possible.

Would I say that it’s the optimum method for getting your ex girlfriend back?

No way…

Now, don’t freak out and think that I am not going to teach you my method for getting an ex girlfriend back fast… I will.

However, before I start getting into the intricacies of it I want to give you a bit of a disclaimer.

My Disclaimer

Any time you put time limits on this process you tend to fall flat on your face.

That’s a fact that I have seen cemented time and time again by failures.

The method I am about to teach you here is not my number one method. In fact, it’s not my number two, three, four, five, six or seven method if you catch my drift.

In other words, if you were to ask my opinion on this method it’s not something that I would completely recommend to a man who wants his ex girlfriend back. It’s too risky.

However, sometimes a great risk comes with a great reward but more on that in a second.

I bet by this point, and after reading my little disclaimer you are wondering why I am even opening Pandora’s box here by teaching it to you?

As much as I try to run from this my ultimate job isn’t to write content for a search engine like Google that will give me lots of traffic and in return lots of money. It’s to write to your needs and when you have 2 million men all wondering the same thing,

How can I make this pain I am feeling stop as soon as possible?

It makes me feel as if I have an obligation to give my version on how to get an ex girlfriend back fast.

Lets get started.




Actually before we get started I do want to say one more time that this isn’t the optimum method for getting your ex girlfriend back. It’s very risky… too risky some would say. However, if your goal is purely to see if you can get your ex girlfriend back as soon as possible I believe that this is the only way to do it.

How To Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back In 38 Days

do it

In case you skipped my whole section on what I consider to be fast (38 days) go back and read it because that time limit is essential for understanding how to move forward.

Now, you may be sitting there wondering,

38 days sounds pretty good but I want her back even sooner than that.

If you are having this thought allow me to kick your ass back in line… are you ready?

Ok, it’s ignorant of you to think that you can get your ex girlfriend back back before 38 days. While it’s not impossible it is highly unlikely and since I am talking to the crowd here rather than an individual I need everyone to understand that getting an ex girlfriend back in 38 days is extremely fast.

And this is based on my own experience of doing this every day for three years straight and dealing with thousands of situations…

In fact, 38 days is unheard of.

That’s how high of a goal this is.

Do you understand how fast that is?

Ok, I think I have made a big enough deal about this to get it through your head.

———– Rant Over ———–

Now, I thought a lot about how I was going to structure this guide and I decide to structure it day by day. In other words, I am going to show you what you need to do pretty much every day throughout the 38 days.

Pretty cool, right?

I think so since it’s the first time I have ever done something like this on Ex Girlfriend Recovery.

First things first, though. We need a framework to work in.

The Framework We Are Going To Be Working In

If you have read my books Ex Girlfriend Recovery PRO and The Texting Bible then you probably already are familiar with the framework I am about to teach you here (you just don’t know it yet.)

My overall strategy for getting an ex girlfriend back comprises of a really interesting value chain.

In fact, this entire website references the value chain or a small portion of the value chain whenever I write an article.


Think of it like this.

A football team has a playbook to achieve success.

Well, I have the value chain to achieve success.

What does this mythical value chain look like?


Notice how there are four main steps to this value chain.

  1. The No Contact Rule
  2. Text Messaging
  3. Phone Calls
  4. Dates

Also notice the order they are comprised of.

The No Contact Rule comes first. Text messaging comes second and then so on and so forth. This is really important because it facilitates and natural approach to re-connection.

Understanding how this value chain works to get an ex girlfriend back is essential for what I am about to teach you here since we are going to be putting this value chain on steroids to speed it up.

Perhaps I should give you an example.

Imagine that we hypothetically put a time frame on the value chain and how long each of the steps would take,


64 days… whoa.

And I was being generous with my hypothetical on how long things would take.

The normal value chain shown above isn’t going to work for us. However, what if we sped it up?


Well, this clearly works for our 38 day time frame to get a girlfriend back fast but like I have said countless times there are a lot of risks associated with this method (I will cover those once we get into the details.)

So, instead of listening to me ramble on I think what I would like to do now is just get right to the goods.

The No Contact Rule (Days 1 – 18)

Ah.. days 1 -18.

If you took the time to watch my latest video,

Then you probably know what the no contact rule is. But what I am talking about here is very different. I mean, who actually recommends an 18 day no contact rule?

Well… apparently I do.

Let me sum it up for you.

On Ex Girlfriend Recovery I recommend three types of no contact rules.

  1. The 21 Day Rule
  2. The 30 Day Rule
  3. The 45 Day Rule

Which one you choose is completely up to you based on your gut feeling and circumstance but 21 days is really the lowest I am willing to go.

Until now of course.

But this is really the main weakness of the strategy that I am teaching you.

You see, the beauty of the no contact rule is that it basically allows you to fight the “get your ex back” battle on two fronts.


Maybe I should explain this.

Lets imagine that your ex girlfriends resistance towards becoming a couple again was manifested as a fighter,


Now, if you aren’t familiar with the purpose of the no contact rule its basically to do the following,

  1. Make her miss you
  2. Erase any bad feelings she may have towards you

At least, that’s how everyone teaches it now-a-days.

A one front battle…


But there is another hidden meaning behind the no contact rule.

It’s the self improvement front.

Confidence is a huge asset to have on your side when it comes to getting your ex girlfriend back and the no contact rule, assuming you are doing a 30 day rule, gives you a ton of time alone for self improvement.

Imagine if you made drastic strides in this time. So much so that you felt very confident in yourself and your ability to re-attract her.

This is front two..

(It’s how I teach men to use the no contact rule.)


And this is what I would like you to do during these first 18 days of our strategy.

I want you to stay in complete silence (front one) while doing as many self improvement activities as humanly possible (front two.)

I am sure by now you noticed the flaw with this strategy, right?

Well, a normal no contact rule is 30 days.

That’s almost double of what you get with an 18 day rule.

In order to make some serious self improvement strides and get that hidden confidence on your side you need time and time is not a luxury we have with this strategy and that puts us at a slight disadvantage.

Now, above I did mention that the lowest no contact rule that I am willing to recommend is 21 days which is only 3 days more than the 18 day rule that we are stuck with here.

Originally when I had planned this strategy I planned it with the 21 day rule in mind but I soon realized that, that meant sacrificing precious attraction building days and I just couldn’t do that. Besides, 21 days isn’t even really the best one you can use.

(30 days.)

Anyways, lets move on to the next part of the value chain.

Text Messaging (Days 19 – 23)


This is where things start to really heat up as we enter phase one of the attraction building process.

Now, as I have mentioned multiple times in The Texting Bible there are two goals when it comes to text messaging an ex girlfriend.

  1. Start Building Attraction
  2. Transition To Phone Calls

The transition isn’t going to happen until day 24 which falls under the phone call section coming up next and I have a special text message planned for that so for now lets just focus on building attraction.

We have five days to build attraction with an ex and that’s if everything goes according to plan.

I suppose I should start out by talking about how to break the silence after 18 days.

Obviously you are going to send a text message to your ex girlfriend but this can’t be a regular text message. You need to send her something so interesting that she has no choice but to respond to you. Once you get her response you start building some rapport and then end the conversation.

Lets take this day by day.

Day 19

This is where you send your first contact text message.

Now, if there was ever a text message that got flubbed up the most it’s the first contact text message. I can’t tell you how many times I start reading comments on this site and get one like this,

“Hey I did everything you said in NC and then I texted her and got no response… what did I do wrong?”

It’s at this point that I always ask the person to give me an example of the text they sent.

90% of the time the problem lies in the text message that was sent.

Most men send generic messages like,



“What’s going on? Long time no see.”

Shit like that isn’t going to work, got it?

You need to strive to come up with something that’s actually interesting.

Now, if I was in your position here is the text message that I would use,

brad pitt

I want you to send this text even if you didn’t see Brad Pitt.

(Though any popular celebrity will work.)

Now, this text message works for two reasons.

  1. It’s shocking and will most likely get her to respond
  2. It plants a seed for a conversation we are going to have later on (more on that in a sec.)

Once you get your inevitable response I want you to talk to your ex girlfriend and build some rapport for two or three texts and then end the conversation.


You are done for the day.

Day 20

This is a very important day because even though you established communication on day 19 and (I am assuming) got a response this is the day where you really test to see if you can get your ex girlfriend to respond because we aren’t going to be using a clever trick text message. Instead, we are just going to be using a normal first contact text message that I recommend in The Texting Bible. Here is an example,

won't believe

The purpose of this day is to get deeper into a conversation with her.

Make sure you have a list of topics that you know she will engage with.

That’s the key.

For example, if she is a fan of that crappy show “Keeping up with the Kardashians” you had better damn well know a thing or two about the show if you decide to bring it up to her. Ideally you want your text message thread to last for at least 20 texts (both you and her back and forth equaling twenty) before you end the conversation.

Day 21

This is where your work with the Brad Pitt text on day 19 is going to pay off because it gives you a perfect thing to talk about for a while and it’s interesting enough to start a conversation with.

Let me give you an example,

brad pitt

Now, you and I both know there is no Brad Pitt and that is going to factor in a bit later but first lets discuss why I chose this text.

Basically every time you start a conversation with your ex girlfriend every conversation starting text you send needs to be interesting and this certainly fits the bill. It’s shocking and should illicit a response from her.

What kind of response?

Well, most likely a,


or a,


When you get your response I want you to send this,

brad pitty

Interesting huh?

From this point on I want you to dive deep with her.

Have a really in-depth conversation over anything EXCEPT your relationship. I don’t want you talking about your relationship until we get to the phone call section.

Now, there is no text limit here.

Generally I like to limit the text messages and slowly increase that limit as things progress but since we are on such a strict schedule here the training wheels are coming off and I am giving you free reign.

Just remember the basics of ending the conversation at the high point and making sure YOU are the one to end the conversation and you should be fine.

Days 22 – 23

Nothing really different is going to happen during these days.

Your main goal here is to just keep building rapport and attraction without talking about your previous relationship or letting her have any idea that you are interested in being with her again.

Have incredible conversations through text messages…

Talk all day and just have fun.

Enjoy each others company.

Things are going to start heating up from this point on.

Phone Calls (Days 24 – 28)

phone calls

There is one thing I want you to remember when it comes to phone calls.

You aren’t trying to re-invent the wheel here.

Just keep this as simple as it needs to be and you should make it out alive. Now, with that being said what is your goal when it comes to phone calls?

Do you remember what the goal with text messages were?

  1. Build attraction
  2. Advance to phone calls

The goal with phone calls is very similar.

  1. Build more intense attraction
  2. Advance to dates

Again, I would like to take this day by day so you have a constant safety net to come back to (this page.)

Day 24

Think of this as transition day.

Previously all you had done before this point was talk to your ex girlfriend through text messages. Well, now the time has come to transition from a text message to a phone call.

(FYI I talk a lot about this in my PRO guide.)

Here is how you do it.

I need you to come up with a very intriguing story. Something that you know she is going to connect with.

I guess I will use my wife’s preferences here to give you an example.

Two things that come immediately to mind that I know my wife connects with are,

  1. Hot Air Balloons
  2. Paris

So, lets say that I start telling her a story through text message about Paris and Hot Air Balloons,

hot air

The key to this is to leave an open loop when you tell your story. In other words, tell a portion of it but not all of it.

Inevitably if my wife received a text like that she would respond with a simple text that would ask me to continue the story.

Something like,

“No way, really? Tell me more.”

Once you receive this text I want you to respond with this,

call you

It’s a really low risk proposition because if she says no then you just continue the story via text and try again later. If she says yes… well, then you just broke the barrier between text messages to phone calls.

So, now that you are on the phone with her what do you do?

You complete the story and continue talking to her for a bit before ending the conversation prematurely.

The point of day 24 was not to build a lot of attraction it was just to break the barrier between text messages and phone calls.

Day 25 is where the fun begins.

Days 25 – 28

The goal with days 25 through 28 is to,

Start a conversation over the phone with your ex girlfriend, locate the high point and end the conversation.

Really simple, right?

Well, actually you will find that, that simple task is a lot harder than you think.

Lets talk about what you should talk about over the phone with her first.

The last thing you want to do is come in unprepared.

Too many men get caught up in this trap and then when it comes time to perform…

They have problems.

Here is my advice, stick to topics that you know your ex girlfriend will be interested in. In fact, who cares about what your interested in. We are doing this to get your ex girlfriend back so what you find interesting doesn’t matter right now.

Now, lets assume that you have followed this advice and you have found yourself in a position where you are having a good conversation. Well, now your focus should turn to picking the right moment to end the conversation.

How do you do that?

I am a huge fan of finding the high point and abruptly ending the conversation.

Think of your favorite TV show and when an episode ends.

Doesn’t it leave you with this feeling,

Holy crap… I need to see the next episode.

We are trying to replicate that idea with your ex except instead of her looking forward to the next episode she is looking forward to your next phone call.

How To Locate The High Point

I have written a lot about this in PRO and even in The Texting Bible but I am going to keep things as simple as possible for you here.

The general rule of thumb that I like to abide by is,

If you are talking to your ex girlfriend on the phone and you think to yourself, “I don’t want this conversation to end,” it’s time for the conversation to end.

It sounds counter intuitive doesn’t it?

But I have found that men and women usually are really in tune with the conversations they are having so if you are thinking that you are enjoying the conversation so much then we can assume your ex is too.

Of course, ending at the high point will ensure that she is going to want to hear from you again and that’s what you want.

The Next Steps…

I want you continue having phone conversations with your ex through days 25 to 28.

Repeat the process over and over again where you engage her in a conversation, find the high point and end.

Ideally you don’t want any conversation you have with her to go on for more than an hour.

Got it?

So, what’s next?

Well, if you look at our overall strategy above, the dating portion is next up,


So, how do you transition from the phone call portion to the date portion.

Well, that comes in the form of day 29!

The Dates- (Days 29 – 38)


I don’t know if you have picked up on what this strategy does yet (I hope you did because I have talked about it a lot already.)

It basically approaches things in a way that is as low risk as possible. Of course, putting a time frame makes everything riskier but enough about that.

You are going to be asking your ex girlfriend out on three dates.

Here is where things get tricky though…

You have to get her to agree to go on three dates with you in the span of ten days.

Now, the three dates I am going to recommend to you are going to be structured in a way that it starts off small and then slowly becomes more romantic. By the end, (the romantic date) that’s when you will strike and ask her to be your girlfriend again.

So, lets talk about the three dates now,

Date One: The Small Date (Coffee)

Date Two: The Medium Date (Group Date, Afternoon Date)

Date Three: The Romantic Date (The Most Romantic Date You Can Think Of)

The first date that I want you to ask your ex girlfriend on is going to be the small one. I recommend going to get a cup of coffee and catching up.

Men are always asking me for advice when it comes to dating but the truth is that too much advice can be a bad thing sometimes. For now, don’t worry about what to say or anything complicated like that. Just focus your energy on having fun.

Now, with the first date you don’t want it to be too long.

An hour at the most should be ideal.

You want your ex girlfriend to enjoy the interaction and want to see you again so make sure you end the date on the high point just like I taught you with the phone calls.

Ok… so now that, that is out of the way lets talk about what you are going to be doing on day 29.

Day 29

It’s really simple.

Ask your ex girlfriend on a small date over the phone.

How do you go about doing that?

Frame it in a way that your not asking for her permission.

In other words, don’t give her an opportunity to tell you no.

Too many guys ask their exes out this way,

“Hey, do you want to get coffee with me on Thursday?”

This can be troublesome since it gives your ex girlfriend an avenue to say no.

Here is how I would ask,

“I am going to be getting coffee on Thursday and would love someone to chat with.”

Basically don’t giver her any chance to say no.

Days 30 – 38

You have one hell of a task ahead of you.

Your goal here is not to just get her to say yes to one date but two.

And remember what I talked about above with the three date theory. The next two dates you need to take her on are the medium date and the romantic date.

Now, if she said yes to the coffee date you shouldn’t have any problem getting her to agree to a second and third date assuming that you don’t screw things up too bad. The timing is the issue here.

Trying to fit two dates in the span of nine days is not easy.

But, give it your all and you may be able to get her back fast!


Written by EGR team mate

Chris Seiter

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71 Comments on "Is It Possible To Get An Ex Girlfriend Back Fast?"

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Hi, I needed some help please. My girlfriend and I were together for 7 years. She broke up with me about a month go and said she is really tired and exhausted and is done with this relationship. Initially I did beg, cry, and asked her not to break up but instead we can talk out everything and make it work. She told me its too late and i need to move on. After talking to her the next day and brain storming on my own their were some factors that lead to this. We are from two different religions… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
EGR Team Member: Amor

You’re more likely to be friendzoned if you kept being friends right after the break up..try at least 30 days no contact instead

Hi Chris, I apologise if my name and posts are spamming, i just didnt know if it was sent. But i will just go for it.. My girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me yesterday, stating that this past 2 years has been exhausting and tiring for her. she has stated that she has given me chance after chance to improve on my lifestyle (not working and just lazing around) and to really plan and work for our future together but has seen no such change. She facetimed me crying and told me that after thinking about it for… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Daniel,

that’s ok..I erased the previous ones. For me, change first.. whether you gwt her back or not,.improve yourself first.. When you’ve done that, slowly build rapport with her again..but for now, focus in improving yourself


Hi Amor, thanks for replying. Alright. I will work on myself for both me & her and gradually change into a better person. I know i need to give her some time away from me but how long do i wait to contact her? Or do i wait for her to contact me?

Hi Amor, thanks so much for your reply. I’m definitely going to work on myself. So in the mean time while I’m doing some soul searching and self improvements, do i initiate a conversation with her after some time of no contact or do i wait for her to contact me? I was never really good when it comes to reading a girl’s mind, but i have friends who tell me that unless she was playing you or there was no love to begin with, that girls dont usually mean what they say in this kind of situation especially if… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
EGR Team Member: Amor

you can initiate contact after nc..check this:
3 Secret Texts That Your Ex Girlfriend Cant Resist (Video)

Hi Amor thank you very much for your reply, how many days of nc would you advise me to take before I start contacting her? I know I shouldn’t be checking on her Facebook once in awhile during this time but it’s just really hard to not do so, and just this morning while I went to look 1 more time at her relationship status, she changed it to single (it was still stated yesterday that we were still in a relationship). I thought I could text her back after almost one week of not talking to each other, but… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
EGR Team Member: Amor

By human nature, she will be curious about you, so be active in posting in social media.. do at least 30 days.

Hi Amor, just a little update on my situation with my ex. So she was hanging out with my Best Friend (who happens to be close Friend of hers too) last week, and she asked him to ask me out to hang out last sat.. so we went to chill, had dinner with my group of friends and her followed by a movie.. she sat beside me and then throughout the movies I caught her staring at me a few times, she even held my hand and started stroking them. We met 3 days back again for an impromptu movie… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
EGR Team Member: Amor

so, the nc is broken… but that is a good sign. That’s right, don’t rush things.

Hi Amor, Things is really so complicated right now with my ex.. so the past few weeks we were dropping a few texts here and there, she even got me to call her one of the nights to get her to go to sleep, when I did called her, she told me to sing her a song to sleep and when I did, I heard her crying on the line before she Skype called me. She left the Skype on the whole night. This went on for a couple of nights, I would wake up in the middle of the… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
EGR Team Member: Amor

what did you say to that? She’s probably just scared. If you want, rest for 2-3 days before initiating again.


I didn’t say anything, I don’t know what to say.. I just feel really hurt that she would do these things for me and then tell me not to hope about our future..

EGR Team Member: Amor
EGR Team Member: Amor

she’s probably just scared..I hope you kept building rapport after that

Hi.. Yes I did build rapport with her.. we were actually talking 2 weeks back on a Sunday night, a really good talk about what went wrong with our relationship and we told each other what we needed to work on if the thought of us getting back together happens.. we started talking like how we normally do when we were still together for about 1 week.. skyping each other etc etc.. The last time I spoke to her was last Sunday, after which she told me she felt we should not see or talk to each other for 6… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
EGR Team Member: Amor

I think she needs to feel now that you’re not there forever.. so, just say that you agree that she needs space and then thank her but don’t tell her that you’re not going to talk to her for 6 months.. just stop responding after that for at least 2 or 3 weeks..

I also sent this as an email too and I have tried to post this before, so sorry for spamming you Background My ex and I had been together since we were juniors in HS way back in 09. We have know each other since the fourth grade, and had crushes on each other since 8th-I hate that I took so long to make a move by oh well. We were each others first, and everything was great in the relationship. After HS she went to University while i stayed in our home town to wrap up an AAS in… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi M,

the most important factor right now, is how much you improved. She has to think you have moved on and improved for her to think you’ve changed and to take a chance on being friends again


Is there a way I can show/ have her understand how I’ve improved. I would love to show her because actions speak louder than words but it is difficult to show that have been working on my depression, and anxiety without the face to face interactions, or even just talking.

EGR Team Member: Amor
EGR Team Member: Amor

through social media posts and by hanging out with a common friend..

Social media is an issue since she has seemingly blocked me, so I don’t know why she would look at my stuff especially since she doesn’t use social media all that much, and seemingly has moved into a new relationship. As for a mutual friend the only one that should would regularly communicate with is the one who went behind my back and made my ex think I was a liar. It seems like an impossible task but she is worth all the effort in the world, and I’m willing to put in the effort but I don’t know how… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
EGR Team Member: Amor

honestly that’s the best option.. especially if you’ve chased her.. even though she blocked you and got annoyed, over time, she will still get curious

My girlfriend broke up with me a few days ago. We met in high school. I was 2 years older and I left for college while we were about a year into our relationship. I was many states away and I unfortunately kissed another girl while we were together. We ended up breaking up while I was at college and didn’t get back together for another 2 years. A year ago I ran into her unexpectedly at a different college we both ended up transferring into. I asked her to go on a date to wit she said yes and… Read more »
Hi Chris, I have been reading your website for weeks and I have an interesting scenario, that I can figure out my next step. My ex and I broke up 3 months ago. She was in a rebound relationship for two months, She was in the country on a partnership visa and now has returned home a month ago. I did all the bad things like begging and chasing Two weeks ago after a 14day NC period she messaged me saying she was thinking of me, But as soon as I rang her and told her I cared, she said… Read more »

I am thinking now that she has agreed to talk, but not really commit, I should use the no contact rule. Making her make the first move. She will be expecting me to run after her. The only time she has contacted me after the breakup and said she missed me, is when I stopped chasing her.

EGR Team Member: Amor
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi John,

you have to complete the 30 days this time and be really active in improving yourself and in social media too

Hi, My gf of 5 years broke up with me about 7 weeks ago. It came out of nowhere and it affected me bad. I basically begged/pleaded since we broke up. I know that this wasnt the right thing to do as if it was happening to me I would get annoyed and want nothing to do with my ex. I think I have probably blown all chances that I have at getting my ex back. Since the breakup I have been keeping busy as I normally do even during the relationship with work, football, hanging out with friends etc… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi John

You haven’t done no contact but I think go to texting phase.. follow Chros’ advice here:


Hey Chris, my girlfriend and I have decided to call it quits a week ago. She( lets call her D) initiated the break up, but it is all because of the way I acted prior to this. So about a year ago I went away to college on a baseball scholarship and she stayed at home and went to college at the local school and joined a sorority and what not( we started dating at the end of senior year of HS). We both talked to each other all the time and were deeply in love. However, the second semester… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
EGR Team Member: Amor

of you realky want her back, you have to make an effort for it and be patient. You also have to balance being interesting and wooing her. Because too much of making ways to hwt her back will look like your chasing


Jeez, this is so terrible. These “ex-girlfriends” are people, you know. Not prizes.

Hi Chris, I’ve date a girl for one month we had a great chemistry and attraction. Everything went really well for the two first week. but at the beginning of the third week i’ve start to act out of my center (needy, clingy, beta male etc…) the fourth week i’ve drop the “l-bomb”. She wanted to take things slow, I agreed (and start to work on myself about those behaviour) but during this time she started to back away ! She had also a lot of personal problem and at the end of the month took a break with me.… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Nicolas,

Try again. Don’t lose hope. Try just like the first time you we’re trying to get her, try slowly as being friends first

JERRY Flores
Hello Chris, I just want to say your website is amazing but before I read this I made all the cardinal mistakes . Let me explain . I was with my ex fiancé for two years . We were off and on but we always made things work out . We had our problems , I used to be a flirt and took her for granted but I changed to try to make this relationship work . Everything was going great . In August my contract expired from the Army and I had to leave Japan to go back to… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Jerry,
If you haven’t talked to each other in for months, you can skip no contact and start texting her. What’s important v is you can rebuild the connection again, from there regain attraction, and then you can start to give dating another try

Hi Chris, First of all, your website is awesome. Not only is it helpful, but funny and reassuring. I have a bit of a problem. My ex and I dated for about 4 years. During that time we broke up once for about 3 months, but I did what you said and went into NC. It was hard work but it paid off and we got back together for a while. Fast forward to September 2015, she breaks up with me. I saw her maybe twice since we have mutual friends, otherwise we don’t speak much. Fast forward some more… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Joe!,
Are you going through NC again this time? If so, how far are you? I think this post can help you too. Is your Ex girlfriend in a rebound relationship? Let’s find out.

Hey Chris, i broke up about two months ago from a relationship of nearly a year cause she told me something and it was hard to accept.. we can talk about it on email if you want. She got a boyfriend about 2-3 days ago now and i called her yesterday just to talk and she told me that she went back out with her ex… i dont know if i should go back to NC for like 2 weeks and text her or if i should text her tomorrow? Or as you mentioned in ‘how to get your girlfriend… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Matt,

If you can’t make it two weeks atleast try for one week.Make her miss you in that week. Do things,post it in social media.. maybe even things that she loves to do that would make her want to do it with you

Hi chris,my ex of 3 years broke up with me a month ago while she met another guy from another state.They said they are friends but they have met a few times and she says he makes her feel happy.They always talks almost every night via video chat for the past month.I tried sabotaging their relationship but failed and now she says she hates me and doesnt respond to my texts or calls.She said earlier that she needs space but after she found out about how I tried to win her,she said I was behaving cheap and has since cut… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Dan,
I think she’s going through GIGS Phase( Grass is greener on the other side). Have you started No contact?

Hey Chris- Good stuff man! dated my ex for 4.5 years. We mutually broke up for 6 months. I did NC a few times during that period and worked on myself a lot, she did as well. She initiated us to get back together after 6 months separated. I always wanted her back and still do. After 2 months of “giving it another shot”, talking every day (not publicly) She seemed “disconnected” and “checked out” I brought this up to her and explained how I felt with out starting a fight and she said it doesn’t feel right, three days… Read more »

she says Ver batum: “”””She wants nothing else but to be with me, and wants it to work out, and that I am a great boyfriend for her, but it doesn’t feel right, she shouldn’t have to force it and she thinks that means its not meant to be”””” Decipher please?
Thanks man.

EGR Team Member: Amor
EGR Team Member: Amor

HI Chris,

How long have you broken up? Have you asked her about that? Maybe laid out to her what it makes it unclear for you?

EGR Team Member: Amor
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Chris,
In this two months had it been apparent to her that were trying to be back together? If so, when you try again, don’t make it so obvious that that’s your goal. As she said, don’t force it. rebuild the connection slowly, make fun memories, no pressure. Just focus on making and leveling up slowly until the romance is back

Hi Chris, I cant see the previously comment, I made in the topic… So short story again: 5+years living together, she broke up with me in september, I did everything what you wrote, NC, texting, build up emotional connection until december step-by-step, she said she missing me,2 date, everything went well, except she mentioned she is in a new relationship (rebound, old common friend, she didnt have time alone) at the second date – she was crying she dont know what she wanna do, she missed me a lot,etc-. I sad to her, I’m not intrested to be plan… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Marco,

yes. Ignore the other guy. Focus on how you can build the attraction by starting out as non malicious friend for her because if you put it out obviously that you’re trying to get her back, she might side with who she’s with now.

Hello Chris, Ibjust spent a year and a half with my partner, we lived together for a good half of it, but at some point in September we broke up (I left because I could not cope with accusations of cheating every single day). We ended up back together a month later, but the jealousy didn’t go away, so back to square one, we broke up again. Things didn’t go so well afterwards, as I tried to reach out to her to get my belongings back and was extremely pushy in the process. It ended with her blocking me everywhere… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Jay,

I think this post can help. how to make your ex girlfriend unblock you but other than that it’s best to think about what makes her jealous and how you can earn that trust. Because if the cycle continues, are you sure you can handle it? I admire you for being understanding. I hope you can talk to her soon as well.

Per Berg
Chris! i did a 17 day no contact but stopped early because i got a big job offer, so i told her about that. advanced to texts and phone calls, pretty quickly, too. had some great convos and we were talking about meeting up, she was even suggesting things but they were a few days away, damn my impatience… but my first date proposal was too awkward, a bball game with my dad and old soccer coach, and she backed off. i asked her if she wanted to go to mcdonalds instead so her son could play on the jungle… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
EGR Team Member: Amor

HI Peter,

You’re on day 23 since the declined invite? so now, how are things going?


I will be staying in the same country. No plans to leave the country.


And when met the last time on 2nd Dec, she brought something special for me to eat in a tiffin box. Since then i forgot to give her that tiffin back and now i am using no contact. So should i reach out to her to give that tiffin box back or what else i can do?

EGR Team Member: Amor
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Shashank,

Reach out after the no contact and better if you can use that as an excuse to see her once she’s comfortable with you again.

Hi Chris, My ex girlfriend broke up with me on 3rd Dec,2015. We were in a relationship for about 3 months. She said, her parents will not accept this relationship and her best friend is also stopping her to be in a relationship with me. And she said that she wants to be frnds with me. At first i agreed to that but later on i found it difficult to be her frnd only so i said i dont want to be her frnd. She insisted on being friends. But i refused and since then we haven’t messaged or called… Read more »

Actually she gave interview in some other company and got selected and i too got selected in some other different company. So we were in notice period and its ending on 31st so its our last day in this company. Both the companies are in the same city. Leaving this company has nothing to do with our breakup.

Hey Chris, I’m looking to get back my ex gf seriously. However, I already did the 21 day NC and did the first contact texts and even got a phone call from her about 4 days after NC. Since then we’ve been on 2 great dates. However, it seems like she recently has been “busy” with new friends, and what was supposed to be our 3rd date ended up getting postponed and postponed again. I want to know if I should go back into NC, I don’t want to lose any progress I’ve made with her. On our last phone… Read more »
Hey Chris, its me again. I just want to asked you about my current situation. broke up 5 months ago, i beg for a long time and failed, got blocked. i went nc for about 35 days, sent her some text to light her up using new number, only “read” never replies. asked her to meet up to end things in good terms twice, she’s not showing up.. I asked her to be allowed to come to her place to get my stuff and return hers, took some of my persistence for her to agreed. I showed up, took my… Read more »
Because I can’t see the end of this if there’s no closure, whenever I begged her she always said all of those negative things in the heat of the moment, so I couldn’t tell whether she mean it or not. But after NC I’ve become someone new, my feelings still exist but it’s like 50:50, if she’s back then good (in fact I still want her), but if we can’t get back together it’s fine too. I just think maybe closure is needed but she refused to talk to end this in good terms which I couldn’t understand why she… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Bob,

If she doesn’t want to talk, you can’t force her. Because the more you push for it, the more she will avoid you.

It’s a long story, I had a file on my computer that she found by accident, it had a video of me and another person from a few years before we started dating. I could never bring myself to admit the whole truth, and lost her trust. Became way too needy and pleading while she was trying to work through things. It finally ended with a big argument, her telling me to leave while she was in tears, me saying i loved her. So i waited 40 days for the first one. Then I had a bad scare 2 weeks… Read more »

Well you would think when I told her a truck almost ran across the freeway at me, that would merit a reaction. But I understand what you are saying. So do I go for another period of no contact or reach out again soon? Or go with one of your other strategies, like the message in the bottle, etc?



I’ve been pretty steady no contact, with a few minor blips, (I sent a simple happy birthday last week through text, no response) we’ve been apart for almost 3 months now. Today out of the blue, she defriends me on facebook. I’ve had no contact with her on there, no liking her posts or any comments since before we broke up. I’m not sure what I did to cause this latest set back. I know i shouldnt care, but it feels like being dumped all over again. Please any advice would be a great help!