By Chris Seiter

Published on February 27th, 2022

You are probably wondering what you can do to improve your chances of getting your ex girlfriend back after No Contact.  First of all, you won’t get very far unless you have a comprehensive plan.  Disaster is awaiting you if you end your No Contact Period and then just start doing all kinds of desperate things to get her attention.

It won’t work out well for you if you don’t know how to approach this critical period.  You see, the time that follows after No contact is as important as the time you spend in No Contact.

And in case you are wondering, yes, No Contact can work really well in helping you get your ex girlfriend back to a place where she will pay some attention to you.

This is the time to put your newly learned ex recovery tactics to work.

So let’s talk about your Game Plan on how to get your ex girlfriend to actually respond to your efforts to get some dialogue going.

What I am going to do is outline a Seven Step Plan.  Once your no contact or radio silence period is over, you  need to follow these steps because that is how you are going to optimize your chances to win her back.

Step One: Begin With the End in Mind

One of the things I see happen far too often is that guys can get a single minded mentality working against them.

They think, “OK, I have struggled through this long no contact period so now I am going to turn loose all my energy and she is going to hear from me everyday”.


That is definitely the wrong mentality.  What you should be doing is thinking small.  You want to take small, measured steps to bring her back into your life.

If you rush out there and bombard her with text messages and phone calls, you are likely to either get the big silent treatment or stir up more of a mess.

Step Two:  Make the First Move After No Contact

Once you have your strategy clear in your mind, then it’s time to act.  Remember what I taught you.  We are talking little steps.  So you will want to text her, but it needs to be the kind of text that will create curiosity.

If you really want her back sooner than later, then think about just creating a little rift in her life.  Not a negative rift.  But rather something that stirs her out of her regular thinking.

Let’s put things in perspective.  For quite some time she has not heard a word from you.  So she may have felt that you are too upset with her to even talk.  Which could be fine if this is how she was processing things or possibly not if she is still harboring negative thoughts about the two of you getting together again.

Whatever her mindset might be right now, your job is to stir it up just a bit in a positive way.

You want to arouse her curiosity by asking a question about something she never saw coming.  I have tons of examples of such texts messages in some of the other articles I have written here on the site.

And I have also written a book (The Texting Bible) on the topic.

You are not alone in trying to come up with the right words to leverage this time period following your No Contact. Seek out more help if you need it here on my site.

Step Three:  Don’t Give Up If Your Ex Girlfriend Seems Unapproachable After No Contact

Your ex girlfriend may have a playbook of her own.  She may not be in any hurry to answer your initial text.  As wonderful and clever as you may think your first effort might be, expect that you could fall flat on your face.

And that’s OK.  Not every girl is going to be persuaded to fall for your texting charms, particularly if you don’t craft the message properly.

So if you experience this, then go back to your source of texting examples (e.g. revisit the Texting Bible) and see where you may have gone wrong.  If you want to get her back and hold on to her, have faith that the investment you made in implementing No Contact was a winning strategy.

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The challenge during this after no contact period is almost always finding a way to ignite the spark.

Step Four:  Send Another Message After an Appropriate Wait

The time after no contact can be a golden period for you.  The plan can work like a charm if you follow the steps as laid out in your Ex Recovery Plan.

But if she is not messaging you back, it’s OK.  There can be a lot of reasons for this and they are not all bad.  So what can you do to get her to at least acknowledge you?

If your curiosity email just didn’t cut it, then wait a few days or longer (Note: Trust me, you will be in her mind after the first text you left her).  There is no rush to reaching back out to her.  Give her some time to digest it all.

In such a situation, often a humorous text will do the trick.  You can use some self-deprecating humor, poking fun at yourself.  That might get a rise out of her.

Be reminded that in these early days, after the No Contact Period has run its course, you are simply looking for small wins.

Step Five:  Get Creative If You Need To Make This Work

Look, don’t forget your short term goal.  Initially, you just want to light a spark.  Once the embers start glowing just a bit you are in business.

But sometimes you need to drop a losing tactic and try a different tactic.  If you have tried two or three text messages to awaken her from her breakup blues, then stop there.  If you send more, you may take on a desperate look and tone.

It’s time to return to the root of your Plan.  If texting isn’t going to get it done, then wait a week and embrace the silence.

You might be surprised to hear that in some of these cases, the ex will have a delay reaction to responding to you.  Then out of the blue here comes her text and suddenly you are singing praises of the no contact strategy.

Now of course, sometimes the best laid plans can go south and you may need to do something even more outside of the box.  My website is like a treasure chest of information and ideas, so dig in my friend.

Step Six:  When She Bites, Reel Her In Very Slowly

Oftentimes my clients are in a big hurry to get their ex girlfriend back after they have finished the no contact period.  So they bombard them with messages.  That is mistake one.  As I alluded to above, you want to follow a very tactical plan of sending a well crafted text message that is going to interest her.

If you are a bit lucky, she might just bite on that first message.  Don’t panic.  Don’t go crazy and get real chatty.  You need to take things very slowly.

If you end up buying my Program, read up on tide theory and how it works as it relates to creating a balance of texting back and forth.

Step Seven:  Now It’s Time To Meet Up With Her the Right Way

I am not going to go over every detail of the meet-up strategy as I have talked about it in a lot of places on my website and within my Ex Girlfriend Recovery Program.

But know that if you want to cash in your chips of good fortune up to this point, don’t overstep.  Don’t go in without a plan.

Your efforts are far from over.  Yes, by setting this up properly by implementing No Contact, you did yourself some favors. You created that much needed space and now with some communication resuming, you don’t want to rush in and blow it all.

Tread slowly my friend.  Your chances of all this working out for you has improved exponentially. But you have to close it out properly.

So when you arrange for a meet-up, I can’t emphasis enough how important it is to remember the rule of “less is more”.  With this first meet-up, you don’t even want to try to hit a home run.

OK, so we are coming to a close here.

If I left you wanting more, well, that’s a good thing because that is what you want to do with your ex girlfriend after the No Contact period has concluded.

Establish contact as we have discussed, then slowly repair and rebuild that trust.  But you want her to feel sufficiently curious and emotionally aroused to want more dialogue and connection going forward.

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