How To Use The No Contact Rule To Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back (Video)

Hey Guys!!

So, over the rest of the existence of this website I am going to be recording videos on YouTube teaching men different parts of my overall strategy to get an ex girlfriend back.

I actually just started releasing these videos last week for my other site (Ex Boyfriend Recovery) but I really see video as the future of the internet so I would be dumb if I didn’t add Ex Girlfriend Recovery to the mix.

So, here is my first official video for Ex Girlfriend Recovery.

And I picked one hell of a topic, The No Contact Rule.

What stands out with this video?

It’s probably the fact that I cover how to deal with the no contact rule in really difficult situations like if you have kids or if you live with your ex.

Check it out,

Video Transcript

What’s up, Chris Seiter here from exgirlfriendrecovery.com and today we are going to talk about the no contact rule.

Alright, so the no contact rule is actually really easy to understand.

It’s a period of time where you ignore your ex after a breakup.

And you don’t break the no contact rule no matter what.

Well, that’s not entirely true. There are a few cases but I’ll talk about that a little later in the video.

For now all you need to understand is that the no contact rule serves two purposes.

keys

Now what I want to talk about are the three time frames that you can use for the no contact rule.

So there are three time frames that I really want you to abide by with the no contact rule.

And you get to choose the time frames that you want to embark on based on your own situation because after all you know your situation better than I ever could.

So the three time frames are as follows,

3 time frames

Now, you may be asking yourself,

“Why not longer than that?”

I’ve seen lots of relationship experts recommending the 60 day rule or the 90 day rule.

Alright, so there’s something that I want to teach you about now and it really determines why you don’t go past 45 days when it comes to the no contact rule.

There have been studies done and scientists have determined that it takes 66 days for a human being to make or break a habit.

So technically speaking, your ex girlfriend, if she wanted to get over you after the breakup….

Scientifically speaking of course, it would take 66 days for her to get over you.

So the reason we don’t do the super long no contact rules like the 60 day period or the 90 day period is because it kind of infringes on that 66 day habit rule where she could potentially get out of the habit of thinking about you.

So the next thing that I want to talk about here are the common mistakes that men make when embarking on the no contact rule.

Alright, so with the no contact rule there is a lot of temptation to contact your ex as you can imagine. In fact, I estimate that around 80% of the men who come to Ex Girlfriend Recovery and attempt the no contact rule end up breaking it.

Because again, there are so many temptations, they miss their ex so much and often times the more you want something the more the temptation is there to contact the person.

So lets talk about some of the common mistakes that men make when they try the no contact rule.

reasons

Any one of these things…

You cannot break the no contact rule for.

Now speaking of breaking the no contact rule there are a few select situations where you have no choice but to break the no contact rule.

And you may be wondering,

“Ok… how do I handle that?”

Well, lets talk about that.

When You Are Allowed To Break No Contact

The first reason that’s acceptable for breaking the no contact rule for is exchanging items with an ex.

Now, here’s a general rule of thumb when it comes to exchanging items.

When the… if she, rather, asks you for her items back you have no choice but to break the no contact and give them back.

But if she hasn’t then its really a matter of you trying to figure out if the item is worth breaking the no contact rule for.

What’s an example of an item that’s not important enough for you to break the no contact rule for?

reasons

And what’s an example of an item that is?

keys

So lets assume that you get caught in a situation where you have no choice but to break the no contact rule because either you determine that you left something really important at her house or place or she’s contacted you wanting her items back.

How do you handle that interaction?

Well, its really simple.

Keep things strictly business.

You want to look the best you’ve ever looked and keep things business. Don’t get into talking about your relationship with her, be really nice and cordial, be friendly, smile a lot, be bubbly almost and cut the interaction as short as possible.

Simply give her stuff back or get your stuff back and get out of there.

Don’t give her anything to get angry with you about and be as happy go lucky as possible.

Alright so the next complicated situation where you are going to be forced to break the no contact rule for is if you work with your ex or if you go to school with your ex.

I combined these two because the strategies for them are very similar.

What is the strategy?

Well, its really simple. Basically what you are going to do is keep things strictly business.

Don’t talk to them or initiate unless they initiate.

If they initiate keep things really nice but really short.

One word answers are great but not “dickish” one word answers.

Be really nice with your one word answers.

And if you get an opportunity to flirt with someone in front of them take it.

Don’t be overly ambitious with your flirting but be ambitious enough to where they’ll notice and you can work some jealousy into it.

Alright, so now we are at one of the big kahuna situations.

One of those situations where almost no one knows what to do when it comes to no contact.

And that’s if you live with your ex.

Well the advice I am going to give you may sound simple but it’s harder to implement than you would think.

The first piece of advice is to move out if it’s possible.

Obviously I don’t want you to go outside of your means but if it’s not possible for you to move out then that’s ok but if it’s possible move out.

If you can’t move out then there are some other tips for you.

GO OUT AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE.

Keep your distance from her.

Try to have fun. Roll in at night at 2:30 sometimes. Make her wonder where you are going if your seeing other women perhaps.

Then… speaking of other women.

Go out on dates.

Look your best around the house.

Go out on dates… just be mysterious.

Make her… you know, often times when it comes to the mind is a womans’ worst enemy.  You have to do something really little and then she’ll fill in the blanks and she’ll go wild and then the next thing you know she’ll be back in your arms.

Alright, so next up we have the alright situation if you have kids with your ex.

Now, my piece of advice here is really simple but follow it to a T.

Keep every interaction during the no contact rule about the kids.

Meaning… if you have to break the no contact rule, and you will if you have kids, just keep things about the kids.

If she tries to steer the conversation elsewhere about the weather or your relationship don’t engage.

Every interaction you have with her let it be about the kids.

Alright, there is something about the no contact rule that I think people are missing.

A lot of the experts out there don’t really cover this and I have always wondered why… because it seems like such a missed opportunity to me.

And that is the fact…

The way that I teach the no contact rule to men is that it’s a battle on two fronts.

On one front we have you engaging in the no contact rule to make your ex girlfriend miss you or erase the bad feelings she has about you and then the other front is just as important as the first front.

The second front is self improvement.

Now bear with me here.

Imagine that you are engaging in a 30 day no contact rule with your ex girlfriend. So after the 30 days are up you have been working on yourself.

You are in the best shape of your life…

You’ve taken up piano lessons…

You have all these amazing stories to tell…

If you run into your ex girlfriend… if this version runs into your ex girlfriend she’s going to sit back and go whoa…

Maybe I made a mistake?

And that’s the power of the no contact rule.

That’s the power of fighting this battle on two fronts.

Try it!

		

Written by EGR team mate

Chris Seiter

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160 Comments on "How To Use The No Contact Rule To Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back (Video)"

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Dupoi
Guest
Hi, Could also use a hint! My ex and I broke up a few months ago. She immedietly called me a few days after and we hooked up again, I had the key to her place and things were back as usual HOWEVER she asked me if I was okay with seeing other people.. I told her absolutely not! So she started doing it behind my back, this brought on a lot of toxic behavior where she started lying to me. After confessing the truth, she said she lied because she didnt want to lose me. I think I should’ve… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Dupoi

if you ignored her for a month when you were still together, that’s not an nc period.. You can still try it now if you want to.

Gugans
Guest

Hello,

So my ex and I had been dating for about 3 months and everything was going great. About 5 days ago she said to not go after her right now and that she will talk to me in JAN 2018. What do i DO???

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Gugans,

Did she say why?

Amousnony
Guest
hey Chris/Amour me and my ex have know each other for 2.5 years but have dates for 6 months when she broke up with me over text message.. i reacted calmly when o received the text wishing her the best . however the following day i over reacted trying to phone and text her several times. she ignored me. i started a no contact period that’s lasted for about 16 days i failed and message her. every time i messaged she replies back quick and we had neutral conversations where emily emojis and lols where exchanged. most recently i mustered… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi,

Why did she break up with you?

Amousnony
Guest
hey Chris/Amour me and my ex have know each other for 2.5 years but have dates for 6 months when she broke up with me over text message.. i reacted calmly when i received the text wishing her the best . however the following day i over reacted trying to phone and text her several times. she ignored me. are situation is a weird one as we where in the process of getting married or convincing our parents to agree to it ,i started a no contact period that’s lasted for about 16 days i failed and message her. every… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi,

Why did she break up with you?

Rick
Guest

Hey Chris, me and my ex were in a long distance relationship. But we broke up a few days ago because mainly because she lost interest on me as I am the type of nice guy. I didnt act like a man and she did not respect me at all in the relationship. I wanted to get her back so I’ve decided to start the no contacting rule. But she texts me that she misses me and I havent replied her since yesterday. What should i do now?

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi rick,

How are you now?

kalyan
Guest
Hey, im me and my gf are been in rln past 6 years lost all the attraction on me and started diverting her self to a new guy , and that’s not a relation ship. I doubted her one day then she started scolding me and lost all respect on me and then she said ” breakup” and ive made lots of mistakes before and she bared them alot , then i raned to her place and started begging and pleading her alot and i called to that guy and said that we r been dating since 6 years please… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
Jesse
Guest
Hey guys, well I had NC since January.. yeah I know pretty long. Gave up all hope. Soo I did NC for my behalf. Well she had her Birthday this week soo I thought I should be at least the nice and polite guy and congratulate her, so I did. She texted me back wuth a thank you and so on.. I didnt’t reply to that. So this happened on Monday and today I got a text with the question “Why did u congratulate me?” I said something like, that I saw it was her birthday and thought I should… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Jessie,

She’s trying to make you an option..Move on from her..

ohn
Guest
Man i really screwed up with my ex, last week her and i decided to try and talk and be on a friend base, but stupid me decided to corner her in my truck and talk to her about the relationship and she played it off cool cause we were out in public and i just kept pushing her all night and it all forced her to kiss me. The next day i got a text from her saying she cant do this and i asked her what and she said “we cant be in a relationship or friendship you… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Ohn,
are you going to try the advice above?

Michael H.
Guest

Hi,
So I started no contact after she told me that she wanted a long break, and after 4 days she texts me asking “how are you doing” should I be ignoring it or respond with a minimalist ok, my only concern with not responding especially this early is it might seem immature and dickish, and it might increase her feelings of hate towards me. Any advice would be appreciated!

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

did you respond? why did you think she hates you?

Ali
Guest

Hi Dave & Chris,

I have a challenge here, how can I use the No contract method if I’m working with my ex and she is one of my subordinate, and on a daily basis I may send her works related emails, and I may have to have a business related meeting twice a week.

Thanks

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Dave,

this is from the other site for girls but you can still use the advice in it.
EBR 032: What To Do If You Work With Your Ex Boyfriend

Kyle
Guest

Hey man me an my fiancé just broke up March 1st I’m starting the no contact rule today but we have so much intertwined bills lease etc and she just says she doesn’t know about us doesn’t know who she is and moved to Kentucky to find herself …. Please help me thank u

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

hi kyle,

it’s ok to talk about bills as long as it’s only about that

Tim
Guest
My GF and I broke up about 7 weeks ago. After having a big fight I said I was done with the relationship and left and stayed at a friend’s place for a couple of days. During that time I realized I did not want the relationship to end. I reached out and she ignored me. I went back home to where we lived together but she had gone. I tried several times over the next month to reach out to her and even her family – she completely ignored me. That’s when I found your website and instantly started… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Tim,

yes, restart nc.. do at least 30 days. Improve yourself..dont intiate contact at work but be polite and direct if she does..

Jay
Guest
Hey Amor, Hope all is well? Sorry I have another question, I’m into 28 days NC and have actually made some major improvements which I’m proud of and really want to thank your team and you. The question I have is that we kinda was on the rocks and she moved on about 5 months ago with her ex, I see that why she was still in contact because her probably had a bit of GIGS but I was too hurt with the situation. I done a flaky NC and was working because she reached out twice within it, but… Read more »
Carlos
Guest
Hi, We broke up and I tried to get het back by begging. She said to move on and that she needs space. I am doing now the no contact rule, however I told her that i will respect her space and told one of her friends that I will respect and try to become a better man and then later try to get her back again. I think that told her friend that was a mistake, because if my ex knows maybe she will know that I am doing the no contact rule on purpose. My chance of getting… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Carlos,

not really.. If you didn’t mention the no contact rule literally and the number of days, that’s ok.

felipe
Guest
hey, my gf broke up with me like 3 weeks ago because we started fighting alot because of my actions and me being cold lately “before that we really had a great relationship for 5 months, we lived together”, and the day before she broke up with me we had this argument because she said something just for fun but i took it bad and didnt talk to her, and in the end of the night i was so mad i started to say things that i regret now, things like, im not happy, why did you stay? why didnt… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Felipe,

You don’t live together anymore right? And restart the count of the no contact period and continue being active in improving yourself and in posting in social media even if she deleted you.

Shaun
Guest

I’ve initiated my first contact after my period of no contact. Response time has been very spread out. I imagine this is typical at first?

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Shaun,

yes, that’s common at first.

Paul
Guest

I broke NC through text because I was told an item that I had asked for before starting NC had been shipped to me (LDR). I kept it business as usual but didn’t receive any response to that. My first contact message is coming up in a few days and I feel like I may have the lower hand due to a no response. Thoughts?

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Paul,

if you want, you can extend nc

Ice
Guest
Just broke up with my gf of 2yrs a few days ago. It’s just day 2 of NC but I think I messed it up. We had a good conversation before I started NC and I had all these nice messages from her that night that she already misses me and all that. Didn’t reply to any of those so she called me more than a dozen times but I ignored it. Now all I’m getting are angry messages. She’s actually seeing someone else already though in her mind it’s just friendly but it’s obviously not (even her friends agree… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Ice,

why did you break up?

John
Guest

I have been in NC for 2 weeks from a LDR break up. I have received positive contact once before and again today, VDay. Respond or hold strong?

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi John ,

I hope you didn’t respond.

Mike
Guest

I split up with my girlfriend of 3 years after she told me she wasn’t sure how she felt. 7 months down the line I’ve not really left her alone. We speak, she answers my calls and texts but never initiates. How long would you suggest no contact for from now or is this just a lost cause? Our relationship was good, we rarely argued or fell out and we were discussing marriage and children. It all went wrong very suddenly for me.

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Mike,

try at least 45 days..

Matt
Guest

Correction…” I find myself getting jealous when I think of my ex with another guy.”
“I have stayed the night at her house a few times none sexual.”

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

HI Matt,

We can’t answer exactly why because you’re the only who knows yourself. If you’re confused, ask yourself, what are they both fulfilling in your life?

Matt
Guest
I broke up with my girlfriend of three years for another older woman who had a bf. For seven months that girl was cheating on her bf with me. But now that she’s officially single, I can’t seem to get in a relationship with her. I find myself wanting to spend time with my ex. This girl that was cheating on her bf, she still hangs out with him as well as I hang out with my ex. We badly wanted to be with each other when she was in a relationship, how come we both haven’t made it official?… Read more »
TOM
Guest

Hey Chris,

I’m like 2 weeks into no contact (she broke up with me, we dated for 3 months) and I feel like she’s loosing interest (she messaged me once like a week ago, nothing since then, she stopped any social media activity towards me) – frankly I’m a little worried she’ll be over me before the NC ends. What do I do?

Best,
Tom

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Tom,

are you improving yourself?

John
Guest
Hi, I had been in many fights with my gf. Where she said she had no feeling for me anymore and yet she seems to be angry at these times. She told me we should separate for awhile as she needs to focus on her exam and I should focus on my works. But we have not break up yet. I had not been contacting her for past 4 days. But today I had sent her a msg telling her that I had been reflecting on my mistakes and I apologized and told her all the best in her exams.… Read more »
Mike
Guest

Hi Chris,
You have an amazing site. I am confused as to exactly what I should say in a text after I complete no contact. I was hoping she would have reached out during the NC but it didn’t work out that way. Now I feel like I need to reach out and saying something just to try to get something going, but what do I say? Something light, something funny, “Hey,” I miss you???

chris
Guest

Hi Chris/Amor, I have a question. On the no contact, I actually started it but she has been calling and texting but am not replying. She now uses other numbers which I don’t have to call me. I don’t want to break it. What should I do?

Gavin
Guest
Hi Chris just wanted to know, My gf and i broke up with me cause i didnt giver her space and i was controlling her and also we were fighting because i didnt give her enough space and didnt support her. Anyways, after the break up we’ve been talking daily sometimes it would annoy her sometimes we have nice conversations but then she would stop suddenly. and she asked me nicely to not talk because shes struggling in her mind. I wanna do the NC but is it too late to do that? we have a break of 3 weeks… Read more »
Gavin
Guest

also we broke up mainly because she lost feelings..

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi gavin,

nope it’s not yet too late.. though we cant guarantee that it will work but it’s still the better option than kepp on talking to ber

Mike
Guest
I purchased the the Ebook for 67 dollars, and i must say the information is amazing and i wish i found it sooner, my only issue is i am just starting it out on with nc rule, unfortunately idont think some of the information will help with my situation. you see i turned into a Gnat unconsciously, and my ex and i broke up in May 7th of 2016, we stayed in contact with each other i guess trying to be friends but started arguing most of the time, so as of July 13th 2016 she has had enough and… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Mike,

she probably won’t bit you should do 45 days and just focus on improving yourself..don’t greet her on her bday

Shafeek
Guest
I have been with her4years.Then I left school in febrary 29 it is second last date of febrary.then again I met her in school at may she saw me and smile at me I smile at her.After15minutes I was finding her wen she is in her class she saw me Then she started to ignore me and again iam in no contact.I took mobile and put a coment on youtube and said averything that what I did when I met her in 19th May to breakup expert and he said she is giving u hot and cold give her45day of… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Shafeek,

how old are you both? don’t ask ti marey you right ahead.. are you improving yourself nowM

ryan
Guest
My long distance ex just broke up with me because she can’t do the long distance and claims that we can’t fix a relationship if we live 9 hours away. I tried the no contact rule. She only texted me once asking me a general question and I ignored it. I failed the next week and she mentioned if I ignore her like that she will just move on. I want her back but I also don’t want her to move on to someone else. I fear that she won’t come back to me anyways because of the distance. Should… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Ryan,

if you’re still talking now, how is it? friendly or flirty? have you talked about a possible solution for your situation? if nobody can move closer to another, when would it happen? how much do you see each other?

N00b
Guest
Hi, I know this may come as a super strange situation but yeah. I recently found this girl online totally accidentally. We totally got hooked to each other in a few weeks. Then began our (e-)relationship phase. I know crazy too fast. Used to chat a lot and even talked a few times over phone. I have been going through stuff (mostly of my making) over past few years so i was rarely even interested in dating or even thinking about it. But i felt totally different when we began talking. A lot better about myself after years. Lately i… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Noob,

you already apologized and made efforta to reach out after it. so no contact is really the next best step… are you also friends in other social media platforms?

N00b
Guest
Thank You. She did get back on whatsapp eventually. We did talk a bit for a few days. I did again apologize to her there and told her I loved her. She however dropped using affectionate words she often used before. Also, Expressed wish to call her and talk to her. Since, a slight time zone difference between us, she usually sleeps when I am free. so I ended up first messaging her asking whether she is free then maybe give me a missed call so I can call back but no response. Once, I asked her address. I intended… Read more »
Adam D
Guest
Question for the experts, So I went over 5 months no contact with my ex (a little over 45 days I know lol). My ex broke up with me back in September after 5 years, but after I moved away in December she would message me or call every so often. I finally told her not to contact me (in a polite way I might add) unless it was extremely important. Anyway, long story short, she sent me a completely random text today asking me if I emailed her recently under an “alias” of someone else, about a fitness competition… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

HI Adam,

yeah it looks like she sent it to have communication with her.. when are you going to text her?

Adam D
Guest

I haven’t decided. I found out she’s involved with an high school kid for the last 2 months (she’s 36 for the record) so I’m just shocked to say the least. Its been over a week though so I don’t know if I should even bother.. What would you do in my situation?

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

what do you mean by involved? is it sure that they have a relationship?

Adam D
Guest
Well I know shes having a sexual relationship with this kid who’s barely 18 and that they’re trying to be discreet about it because they live in a small town. Since around the time of our break up she completely changed. She’s shown strong signs of attention seeking behavior(her instagram is apparently full of half naked pictures although I wouldn’t know because I blocked her on all social media). I figured this was to seek validation as she was no longer getting it from me and that it is was just a phase, but apparently its gotten worse. When we… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

it’s not the right time to get in touch with her.. if her situation, you mighy get caught up in the mess.. let her go through it first

Adam D
Guest

That’s what I figured. Thanks for the help. I’ll let you know if anything changes.

Timothy
Guest

Hi there

I’m defo going to try this amazing advice but I’m just wondering With the no contact rule do you tell them first you don’t want them to contact you and you won’t message or contact them or do you just stop all contact ?

Look forward to hearing from you

Timothy

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Timothy,

it depends on the situation if you should do no contact but if you should, you shouldn’t tell them that you’re not contacting them for a specific period of time. Sometimes I advice the person to tell their ex that they need space but not to tell that it’s because they’re doing no contact

John
Guest
Hey, me and my ex have been together for 7 months. We met at work and she was a tourist from another country, we had an amazing time and she left back to her country after 4 months of knowing each other and 3 of being together. We both decided to stay together in ldr because we love each other. After 2 months of ldr I came over to her country and stayed with her for 2 whole months without any of us being apart, and none of us even worked. The first month was amazing but then the second… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi John,

did you keep talking?

John
Guest
Hey, so a day later I looked at whatsapp and saw her profile picture is gone, and I thought she might be blocked my number. What I did was sending her that I had a crazy dream about her(I really did) just to check if she could see that message. When I did it, at her place it was 3am and usually she goes to sleep much earlier. As soon as I sent it she called me and asked about the dream, asked about how I am doing and I told her everything is good, got back to my job… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

but it’s just been a week since you last talked right? I don’t think you missed you chance.. you can still message her online after nc, if you’re going to do it.

Miguel
Guest
Hey, I have a bit of weird situation I’m not sure where to start but my ex broke up with me after a 5 year relationship(first space/break up ever) about a month ago which I didn’t know about this recovery info. Last week we had a closure dinner was suppose to be a 45 min dinner and go home thing ended up being 4-5 hours of talking, laughing, and her crying. Issues were me barely getting in to school and her being almost done. I wasn’t supportive enough and didn’t make enough meaningful gifts(Idk why she was so fixated on… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Miguel,

stick to nc.. that’s a good sign from her.. it means she misses you.

IMiguel
Guest

I really hope so! I just feel bad since she’s reached out to apologize. She recently blocked me on snap chat again as well after I had posted that I’m going on vacation for the weekend. I’m guessing she doesn’t want to see what I’m doing . When it is time to respond how should I reach out? Or do I wait for her to reach out( I doubt she would since I think this is a pride thing for her at this point)

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

it’s ok if you reach out after nc

Miguel
Guest
Just an update so you guys know what’s going on and because I think its interesting. Last night she randomly messaged my mom asking about her stay and how sorry she is for the break up etc. Not sure why she would do that especially since they don’t talk often.. But I told my mom to go about it noemally and our relationship shouldn’t affect theirs. Til today, she hasn’t deleted any of our fb or Instagram pics but she did delete a pic (recent group photo which looked like she was really close to him) of her and the… Read more »
Wolverine
Guest
This is not the usual NC thing. We’re still (at least formally) together. We still love each other, I think she loves me more than I do. I have a problem with her often not calling nor texting for 12-18 hs. She claims it’s work and I know for sure she is being mobbed and she has little time to spare. But how long does it take to whatsapp me twice a day? 5 secs? 10 secs? We argued over this many times. I am pretty sure she is not cheating on me. Therefore I started NC. I have utterly… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Wolverine,

I don’t know if you have another comment in a different name but I can’t find it.. I remember answering it. Okay, well, try to do it just 3 days to a week and then talk to her about your concerns calmly

Dirk
Guest

Hi Amor,

I have been constantly texting my ex after the break up (7 weeks ago). During the last 3 weeks she got a lot colder towards me. Is it too late for no contact? I think I definitely did some damage since at first she was talking about a break and now she calls it a break up… When I ask her about why she called it a break up now she said that she felt she had to be more clear so it would be more easy for me to adapt to the situation…

Thank you!

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Dirk,

sorry for the late reply. Have you talked again?

James smith
Guest
My gf broke up with me after feeing like we weren’t progressing and b/c she felt like she couldn’t trust me. So I said sorry told her how I wanted to really be with her and started the no contact rule. 2 weeks later I’m out at the bar with a female friend and her roommate sees me. I wave to acknowledge her. 2 mins late she handing me her phone and it’s my ex. She’s like “hey how are you”. I said “I’m ok how are you?” But I’m busy can I ttyl and ended the convo. I didn’t… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

HI James,
if she didn’t trust you and her room mate told her you’re with another girl, that may be not good for you.. how are you?

T.J.
Guest

I made the mistake of calling my ex a few times after we broke up now I am day 5 of no contact and I am losing my mind. She told me that she loved me but was not in love with me. She was going through a divorce when we met. She says she wants to be alone right now should I even try?

T.J.
Guest
I made the mistake of calling my ex a few times after we broke up now I am day 5 of no contact and I am losing my mind. She told me that she loved me but was not in love with me. She was going through a divorce when we met. She says she wants to be alone right now should I even try? We were together since Oct 31 2014. She was the first one to tell me she loved me and then at the end told me she told me not to fall in love in with… Read more »
T.J.
Guest

I’m still waiting on a reply to my question I have all the books would just like to know what you think?

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

sorry for theate reply tj.. well, we can’t assure it will work 100% but since you’re already doing it..be active and improve yourself.. focus more on you during nc

shujath
Guest

I followed No contact rule for 2 months, Now I feel I can live without her, I feel free now. So, I told her about it today and she became very angry

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Shujath,

Well, hmm..why did you tell her that?

Sam
Guest
So my Gf of just over 2 years has been studying abroad for 3 months now and our relationship had started to dwindle because it so hard to contact each other. A week ago she called and said she wants to take a break and that we will talk when she comes back home in 2 months. We haven’t talked in 8 days and I was thinking of waiting a month then sending her a love letter of what she means to me and how I’m improving myself instead of just a text how are you. What should I do?… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Sam,
if she wants to miss than doing no contact is timely for that.

chenny
Guest
HI Chris, i recently got dumped by my girlfriend. On our valentine day she i kinda get this mood she acting up. SO after the valentine day she ignored me i try to call her text her literally blow up her phone, It appear she sent a text back said she don’t have time because of school exam, so i ask her what time she get off she reply what does it matter u don’t remember anyway. As day pass it still happen i kept on texting her and calling her, then suddenly one day she said we need to… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Chenny,

Sorry for the late reply.. If she said she’s annoyed with your texts abd calls then definitely do nc.. do an active no contact… improve yourself anf be active in posting in social media..don’t post anything relating to her or the relationahip..

chenny
Guest

So her friend told me that she was really emotional sad im not sure if it over the break up or she might fail her test or some other stuff. I dont know why she was sad. After that she delete the post, whatever the reason is im doing my best not to contact her. Im still in NC for almost 2 week she havent contact me and i havent contact her yet. i been going to the gym to keep my mind off her. im doing my best. what my next step?

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Chenny,

are you still in nc?

chenny
Guest
so far My NC is over! so on the first Sunday of April i was in a Japanese Cultural event and i saw her and her friend. i came in a bit late and i didn’t know it was them. But when we talk during the event she was avoiding me like no eye contact. But when the event was over i was waiting for her friend to go home with we go to the same direction. BUt then her friend ask me if i wanna dine with them so i agree. i was trying to talk to her like… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

HI Chenny,

Take it slow, build rapport through texts first and then calls before trying in person..

chenny
Guest

thanks, we been texting lately. sometime she never reply backs. what should my next step be??

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

it’s normal..if the replies are positive, you can transition to calls

Kalven
Guest
Hey! I’ve been with a girl for almost two years and we broke up about a week ago. Two days after the break up, she decided to flirt with my friend and now he does it back with her. I’m was furious. I’m currently doing the no contact rule for 21 days and it’s only been the third day that she’s starts texting me and calling saying “oh, you’re such an asshole.” “If you don’t want to talk, then just tell me instead of ignoring me.” What should I do? I strongly feel like she is in a rebound thing… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Kalven,

I think you should talk first because going into no contact, but does she know that you know she flirted with your friend?

Frank
Guest

Hey, since i’m not an active facebook user, I use the “my history” feature in snapchat to show the changes i’m making in my life and she always have checked, does that mean that i’m breaking the no contact rule?

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

nope! that’s fine 🙂

MHi
Guest
Hi Chris , my girlfriend and I broke up couple years back then I didn’t know what I know now , she kept on contacting me begging for us to come back together, but that didn’t happened until last year April, but before we got back together , we became friends and started sleeping together , each time we spend some time together she will tell me she wants us back , everything you’ve said in all your post , she did everything and we still didn’t get back together , I was busy with business and trying to set… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Mhi,

You’re not together right? And she told the other guy that he’s just a distraction?

Tony
Guest

My ex is a strong minded woman. I’m going into week 3 and I still haven’t got a text or anything from her. I was going to do 21 days NC, but i was wondering since she hasn’t reached out should I extend the NC to 30 days or 45 days?

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Tony,

if that’s what your gut tells you, go ahead

Tea
Guest

My ex hasn’t contacted during the NC period. I’ve been doing the NC two weeks now should I be worried?

Tee
Guest

My ex hasn’t contacted me during NC. I’m 2 weeks in should I be worried?

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Nope because worry doean’t do anything but make you feel bad

TEE
Guest

She’s kind of a strong minded individual. Should extend the no contact longer

Dee
Guest

Hi,
My ex has been contacting me with angry messages about wanting to return stuff to me after our break-up (stuff that I don’t need right now). She’s saying I’m rude and ignorant because I won’t talk and that any chance I might have had has now gone. Told her initially that I was always happy to talk and discuss stuff. Miss her, and want to get back, but doing no contact. What’s your advice?

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

HI Dee,

If it’s really important that you need to answer, do so, but keep it minimal and don’t talk about your emotions and relationship status. I think your things is her way to see if you’re going to reply. She’s wondering what you’ve been busy about and frustrated that you haven’t replied. She also said, you don’t have any chance, meaning she’s thinking about it while texting that.

L
Guest
Hi Chris, My girlfriend broke up with me on January 22. We were officially together for 6 months but had been seeing each other for 8 months prior. Recently we had both become more neglectful of each other’s emotions- her difficulty handling anger caused me to pull away, causing her more stress, which created a cycle. We had never really “heard” one another when trying to communicate these issues and needs. We were both hurt by each other’s actions and put up walls. We didn’t speak too much in the days leading up to the break up, as we had… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi L,

I answered your post in exboyfriendrecovery.com 🙂

matt
Guest
Hey Chris, So my gf of 8/9 yrs broke up with me about 6 weeks now. She told me she can’t do it anymore because I dont do enough things with her, which to a certain extent I would agree to. Ok so I will start from the beginning. For the first 5 yrs of our relationship we were constantly on the move, traveling the world, only in 1 place for a maximum of a yr and the rest was anywhere form 6months to a week, never being stick in a rutt. The last 3 and half yrs we have… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor
Hi Matt, Almost 9 years is a long relationship. Many memories have been made, specially you used to travel and you even formed a little family with your dog. How long are you in the no contact rule? The good thing with your case, is you have a lot to go back to when you start to text her again after 30 days. You’re not being a loser by wanting to contact her. It’s normal. Having no contact means to help you reflect, improve yourself, get to know yourself. What were the activities you two used to enjoy? How were… Read more »
matt
Guest
Hey EGR, Thanks so much for your reply. We used to do a lot of different activities together because we were always traveling and there was new things and surroundings, always pretty adventurous during out travel times. Now we have been in one spot for a while the main thing we did together is walk the dog or go to the beach, watch movies etc. There was much more opportunity to do things together, eg gardens, work on our home, but like i said, i was busy and didn’t give our relationship the time it deserved and didn’t think anything… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Matt

I think you’re too focused on how much distance you need to make because of sticking to the NC rule, you didn’t notice when you broke it, all you had was fun together. It’s good you’re striking a balance but try to enjoy as well. Try to read what you wrote and I think you’ll see what I see.

matt
Guest
We have an update. it has now been 2 months of hell since the break up with small potions of no contact, limited contact, hanging a little. Realized that it was going anywhere, so booked a trip overseas to clear my mind and found a new house to move into. It has been 1 week into my trip with week to go and i got a message off her saying ‘I know i Shouldn’t be saying this but I miss you’. (it is Sunday and she would be hungover, no not feeling very good) We had a Facebook chat, i… Read more »
matt
Guest

oh and the last thing she said was ‘speak soon’

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

I think you should just take it as she said. Don’t overthink now and just accept what the chat will result to when you get back

matt
Guest

She has asked me to dinner tomoro night. I said yes, Im nervous as i dont want to step back in my personal emotions but i feel emotionally ready to not bring up the break up or the relationship stuff. I still have strong feelings for her and even though i feel like i am getting over her deep down i know i miss her alot and in love with her. Any tips or should i not go?

matt
Guest
Went on the date, kept it all very nice. She started crying about halfway through when i was telling her how my family was as she was very close to them and then for the rest of the time she was pretty teary. When I said ‘its good to see you, after she already said it to me she cried a fair bit. Didn’t make it drag when we finished eating i picked up the bill, walked out to the cars and we hugged a couple of times, kissing on the head, the whole time she was crying. Even as… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Matt, I’m so sorry for the late reply.. I think she misses you.. Are you back to texting now? And are you more open to each other now?

Marc
Guest
Hey Chris, I was dating a girl for a couple of months, everything was great however things progressed really fast and I met her parents and she met mine. I went away on vacation for a month and didn’t respond to her for a couple of days and ever since she started getting distant and broke up with me when I got back and wanted to be friends. She’s been hurt in the past and I was guessing she didn’t want to get hurt again and was scared of commitment. Anyways, I was a bit needy and brought up the… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

HI Marc,

Did you finish NC the second time?