By Chris Seiter

Updated on July 1st, 2022

Not knowing whether your ex-girlfriend still has feelings for you is a tough dilemma, so today, I’m going to share five unconventional signs that will help you to decipher how she’s feeling.

These signs won’t be the battered down super-obvious signs you see everywhere because I don’t see the point of writing an article or making a video unless I’m adding something NEW to the conversation.

We’ve all heard the classic tell-tale signs of an ex who’s still into you, so this is my attempt to help you see subtler signs that you might miss.

What makes this article unique is that I’m not just pulling these ideas out of a hat.

I surveyed real women in our private Facebook support group for my sister website Ex Boyfriend Recovery to learn what real women who still have feelings for their boyfriends and want them back are doing.

Before we jump into the five signs, I want to get into the background of how I came across these.

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A Brief History Lesson Of The Ex Recovery Brand

If you didn’t know, I have two large websites in the relationship space.

One website is for women who are trying to get their exes back, and it’s called

I also have another website for men trying to get their ex-girlfriends back called… you guessed it…

Both of these websites have various products aimed to help patch up with exes, and anyone who makes a purchase gets special access to our private Facebook group.

Interestingly, about 90% of the participants in that group are women right now because we didn’t start letting men into that space until last year.

So, when I’m writing articles for men, I have lots of real-world data from women who want their ex-boyfriends back.

I can mine information about their raw feelings and actions for golden nuggets of information like the ones I’m about to share with you today.

So, all these signs are taken from real experiences of behaviors women exhibit when they still have feelings for their ex.

We actually combed through the group to see a pattern of behaviors.

If certain patterns emerge from our 3700 participants, it’s safe to say that those patterns can represent your ex’s feelings too.

And patterns definitely emerged.

Five to be exact.

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  1. Angry Conversations
  2. Watching Your Instagram Stories And Then Blocking You
  3. Odd Mood Swings
  4. She Freaks Out On You If You Don’t Reply Right Away Or At All
  5. They Future Pace A Meetup

Let’s dissect!

Pattern #1: Angry Conversations

This is probably already very different from what most people tell you.

Most people say if you’re getting into arguments with your ex then your ex doesn’t have feelings for you anymore.

Well, we say the opposite is true.

Ever heard the classic phrase “we hurt the ones we love”?

While “love” is too big of a word to use here, why would someone even bother to respond to you if they don’t care about you?

If your ex didn’t respond to you at all, then it might be fair to say they’re over you, but a negative response is still a valid response.

Their anger means they still care about you on some level because they took out the time to talk to you.

When we study our female clients, we see that when they’re not in the best state of mind, they’ll lose their temper at their ex. That doesn’t mean that they don’t have feelings for their ex boyfriends, it means they’re just frustrated when they don’t get the response they wanted/expected.

If your ex-girlfriend is getting into a lot of arguments with you, it’s a good sign that she still has feelings for you.

Note: Beware, though, because consistently getting into arguments with your ex isn’t going to help you get her back. So, while arguments show that she has feelings for you at some level, you don’t want to keep getting into arguments that might put her off.

Pattern #2: Watching Your Instagram Stories And Then Blocking You

I never cared much for social media, but its 2020 now, and most of our lives are on social media.

There are new social media apps or trends popping up every week, but it’s very clear cut who the top dogs in the social media platform game are – Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, and Twitter.

Instagram and Snapchat are particularly interesting because they let you put up temporary stories where you can tell exactly who has seen your stories.

Being able to tell if your ex is watching your stories is a great first step to concluding they might still care for you.

Let’s say you post an Instagram story, and for the next 24 hours, you can see who viewed your story.

You’re looking to see if your ex-girlfriend is watching it, but that’s not all.

What we’re really looking for is the follow-through, and counterintuitively, the follow-through is them blocking you.

Why is that important?

It’s important because I can see the other side, so I know what goes through a woman’s head when she blocks you after seeing your story.

The secret of what goes on in your ex-girlfriend’s mind when she blocks you is simple – it’s hard for her to see you happy without her.

It’s a good sign that your ex-girlfriend still has feelings for you. Again, this doesn’t necessarily mean that you’ll get her back, but now you know that getting blocked by an ex isn’t always a bad thing.

Pattern #3: Odd Mood Swings

I’ve been on record multiple times saying that I’m a big believer in the pendulum swing of emotions after a breakup.

What is this pendulum swing concept?

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You typically see two emotions in the aftermath of a breakup – upset emotions and happy emotions.

What you’ll find is that when people are still attached to their exes, they cannot stay stable between these two sides, and thus, they keep rocking back and forth like a pendulum.

If you want to get scientific about it, breakups get our serotonin levels all out of whack and we have trouble regulating our moods.

For example, maybe you’re happy about the breakup when it occurs, but then a few weeks later, you’re super sad and depressed.

That sadness may translate into anger, but somewhere down the line, you might end up feeling happy again.

If you notice such odd mood swings in your ex-girlfriend’s behavior, then it’s a sign that she’s still very affected by the breakup and probably still cares for you.

It’s always funny to me when people say that you can just get over a breakup in a couple of weeks, especially when it’s a breakup from a long term relationship. Even those who say they’re okay immediately after a breakup will say that they’re disturbed weeks later.

So, look for those bouts of emotional swings when your ex is torn between her feelings because they could indicate that you still mean something to her.

Pattern #4: She Freaks Out If You Don’t Reply Right Away

My ex-girlfriend recovery brand is a big believer in having structured conversations with your ex.

I think you should always start with a no contact rule, then slowly build value as you go along.

This sign doesn’t apply much during the no contact rule, it’s about the conversations you have AFTER the no contact rule.

Ultimately if you’re texting and you have a perfect pace going, you might get busy all of a sudden and leave your phone. If your ex-girlfriend starts blowing your phone up, getting pissed at you for not replying or asking where you are, that’s a good sign!

Let me decode this behavior – when she freaks out upon delayed or no replies, it’s a sign of her insecurity and fear of abandonment.

Of course, it doesn’t apply to every single girlfriend out there, but most of my clients do this when they lose emotional control and get angry that their ex doesn’t reply instantaneously.

If you notice this consistent pattern of your ex lashing out at you for not replying, your ex is still emotionally invested in you.

Pattern #5: They Future Pace A Meetup

One of my favorite parts in coaching people through this process is the idea of future pacing meetups. What does that mean?

Well, if you future pace something, it means you’re saying, “in the future, let’s do this.”

You’re not committing to anything yet, but you’re building anticipation and judging your ex’s level of excitement (or indifference).

For example, when I first met my wife, we were in a long-distance relationship, and she future paced me with a text message saying, “in October, this thing is going down in my hometown. It would be really cool if we could do that someday.”

Of course, that was months away, and I brushed it off saying, “yeah that would be cool,”

What she was actually trying to say was, “Hey, let’s do this’. That’s how the subtlety of a future paced meetup works. The “someday” almost always means “as soon as possible.”

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If you can pay attention and carefully dissect your ex-girlfriends future paced messages, you’ll realize that she actually wants to do those things. They’re not just hypothetical ideas; they’re wishes.


Let go of the typical signs you think of when you want to know if your girlfriend is still into you and look for these signs as explained by real women:

  1. She has angry conversations with you
  2. She watches your IG/Snapchat stories and then blocks you
  3. She displays an odd range of emotions
  4. She gets mad when you don’t reply immediately
  5. She future paces meetups	

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