It’s one of the most horrifying situations to be in as a man…
You and your girlfriend have just broken up. At first you keep telling yourself,
“It’s going to be ok…”
“I can live without her…”
“I don’t need her…”
Of course, as time ticks by you begin to realize just how much she meant to you. How in love with her you really were. Time has a funny way of making us realize our mistakes and without a doubt letting your ex girlfriend go was a big one.
So, one day you decide to take a chance, to win her back. You figure the easiest way to do this is to send her a non threatening text message to check up on her. So, you do it. You pull out your phone, type in a very non threatening text message, send it to her and you wind up getting a response like this,
Before you sent that text your hopes were so high, you were daydreaming of your future together with her. Of course, after you sent the text that daydream was shattered and replaced with anger, heartache and jealousy.
So, the question you are probably wondering is how the heck are you supposed to navigate a situation like this where you want your ex girlfriend back but she has moved on to a new boyfriend.
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Well, that is what this page is here to explore.
I suppose the best place to start is by taking a look at the potential risks of trying to get an ex with a new boyfriend back.
Before We Begin I Need To Tell You Something Important
Many men come to this website wanting to get their ex girlfriends back.
But there’s a problem with this line of thinking….
Getting an ex girlfriend back generally isn’t a simple process. It requires a lot of thought, strategy and even a little bit of luck.
The truth is that I can’t tell you everything that you absolutely need to know about getting your ex girlfriend back in this article.
For me to say that I can would be a lie.
Luckily, I have created something that can tell you just about everything you absolutely need to know to get your ex girlfriend back.
You can learn more about it by clicking the button below,Get Relief FasterWith Tactics I Can't Put on the Blog...
Know The Risks
You know what I have learned through my time working on this site?
Nothing brings a couple together like a common enemy.
For example, you obviously came to this page because you want your ex girlfriend back and she has a new boyfriend. Well, what do you think would happen if the new boyfriend caught wind of the fact that you wanted your girl back?
Do you think he would like that fact?
Men, by nature, are very protective of their women so I guarantee you that to the new boyfriend you trying to get his girlfriend back is going to paint you in a light where you are an enemy.
So, obviously the big risk you run by trying to win your ex girlfriend back in this case is that you could become a common enemy between your ex and her new boyfriend which will ultimately cause them to be closer together.
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You Wanted (Including Your Ex)
Avoid Being A Common Enemy
Being a common enemy between your ex and her new boyfriend is one of the worst positions that you could possibly be in. You must do everything in your power to avoid this position.
I suppose the question you are wondering now is how?
How do you not be a common enemy in a situation where your intentions clearly paint you as an enemy (to the new boyfriend?)
The key here is subtly.
If you can be subtle but effective in your intentions to win your ex girlfriend back you will most likely NOT be looked at by your ex as a common enemy. In fact, what might end up happening is that your ex does all the work for you.
Let me give you an example of how this can work.
Lets say that you are very subtle in your intentions to get your ex girlfriend back but over time your methods start to work. All of a sudden your ex girlfriend starts to get confused about her feelings. You see, on the one hand she has strong feelings for you and on the other hand she has strong feelings for her current boyfriend.
Ideally this is where you want her, confused.
Inevitably she is going to talk to the one person who is supposed to support her and understand her no matter what, her boyfriend.
She may not be completely honest with him about what is going on in her mind but she is going to say things to him to try to test him to see if he is ready for the truth. Of course, sometimes you will get a boyfriend who can tell when something is off without her even having to say a word.
My point is simple.
Eventually the truth is going to come out and how do you think the new boyfriend is going to react to discovering that his girlfriend (your ex) is still hung up on you?
The Answer – Not well…
In fact, a massive fight or breakup might occur and now you are looking like you are in a really good position.
Again, YOU didn’t physically cause this breakup or fight, your ex did because of her feelings for you.
THAT is what we are trying to do here. Of course, the situation you currently find yourself in is one of the hardest to experience as your chances for success are slightly lowered. Allow me to explain.
What This Page Can Do For You
I am a very realistic person and I am assuming that you are too.
So, I am not going to sit here and tell you that if you follow every little step I outline on this page that your ex girlfriend is going to break up with her current boyfriend and come running back to you. While that is certainly the outcome that you are praying for it isn’t realistic to assume that, that is going to happen 100% of the time.
Well, getting an ex girlfriend back isn’t an exact science, it’s an unpredictable one because you are dealing with another human being (your ex) and none of us are mind readers so all of us are a little blind to a certain extent. However, with that being said it doesn’t hurt to have an expert on your side (me) who has seen so many situations and put so many relationships back together that he can drastically increase your chances of succeeding in almost any situation.
Did I lose you?
Ok, let me put this in simpler terms so you really have a good grasp at what this page is going to do for you.
Imagine for a moment that in every single breakup that occurs between a couple a certain percentage is assigned to it. That percentage correlates to the chance that, that couple has of getting back together.
Lets look at a few situations and assign percentages to them.
(Remember, I am just spit balling here to prove a point so don’t freak out if you find your situation below.)
- Regular Breakup- 35% chance of getting back together.
- Breakup Where Someone Cheated- 20% chance of getting back together.
- Long Distance Couple Breakup- 25% chance of getting back together.
- Breakup Where Your Ex Moves On- 20% chance of getting back together.
Do you kind of get what I am going for here with the percentages?
You may have noticed that I gave people whose exes have moved on to another man a 20% chance of getting back together. Now, most of you who are in that situation are going to see that number and immediately freak out because it’s pretty darn low.
I mean, a 20% chance of success means that there is an 80% chance of failure.
Well, that 20% number is based on you trying to get your girlfriend back without any of my advice. In other words, this page is meant to improve that 20% chance of success.
Ok, imagine this for a moment.
Imagine that you follow the advice on this page and get to a place where your ex girlfriend is confused about her feelings for you and her new boyfriend. Well, all of a sudden that 20% chance of success is bumped up to 50% because you know eventually she is going to have to choose between you and her new boyfriend.
In other words, this page is meant to drastically increase your chances for success!
So, lets get started.
Be Aware That Comparisons Are Going To Be Made
I have always found it fascinating that human beings have this need to compare things.
For example, today I was watching a movie and inevitably found myself thinking,
“The sequel to this was so much better.”
The movie was actually Batman Begins (I like Batman what’s the big deal?)
Anyways, I think it’s safe to say that your ex girlfriend is going to be comparing her relationship with her new boyfriend to her relationship with you. Now, this can either work in your favor or work against you. Obviously we are hoping that the new boyfriend is treating her horribly so you look like a prince but lets just say that, that doesn’t happen. Let’s go to the worse case scenario (for you) where the new boyfriend is treating her incredibly well.
How are you supposed to get her back then?
If Her New Boyfriend Treats Her Well
Before I really dive in to the details on this one perhaps I should define what I mean by your ex girlfriends new boyfriend “treating her well.”
When I think of a boyfriend treating a girlfriend well I don’t so much think of a guy opening doors and pulling out chairs (that’s still important thought) but I am thinking of something that is much deeper. I am talking about someone who provides emotional support, someone who listens and tries not to judge, someone who truly cares about her and she realizes it.
If your ex girlfriends new boyfriend does that during their relationship and you didn’t during yours with her then when she is going to make the comparison between you and her new guy she is definitely going to think the new guy is better and that is going to put you at a disadvantage.
Because usually a girl who has a better guy isn’t going to leave him to put herself back in a situation where she is treated poorly.
However, as I am sure you have realized there are situations where this does happen. Would you like to know how it happens?
One of the biggest assets I can bring to you with this page is my experience in dealing with thousands of couples. You see, I have a sister site to this one called, Ex Boyfriend Recovery, where I have helped thousands of women. I think it’s safe to say that I have heard just about every single story there is when it comes to breakups.
You want to know what always shocks me?
That some of these women want their exes back even after they have done HORRIBLE things to them.
For example, there was once a girl that came to my other site, Ex Boyfriend Recovery, who was dating a new guy but wanted her ex back even though he cheated on her six times with six different women. If I was in her position I would be screaming for his head but she wasn’t…
No, she was screaming for another reason, because she wanted him back.
So, what did this guy (who had done horrible things to her in the past) have that drew her in so much that she wanted to leave her perfectly good boyfriend?
A lot of you will probably point to the “bad boy” theory in which women are drawn to a “bad boy” of which this ex boyfriend of hers was clearly.
At first that was what I thought but the more I talked to her about her particular situation I began to realize that there was something else going on in her head.
Determined to find out I decided to just ask her what made her want him back.
Her answer was quite simple,
In other words, even though some women find themselves in a situation where they are clearly better off relationship wise sometimes the appeal of the connection can trump everything.
For example, if your ex girlfriend has a new boyfriend that treats her like a queen she may still be more drawn to you because she has a connection with you that the new boyfriend can’t top.
So, if you were to ask me how to get your ex girlfriend back in a situation where she has moved on and her new man treats her well then I would say you would have to hit her where she will be affected most, her romantic feelings for you. You will need to find a way to get her to tap into those feelings for you and when she does that is going to dramatically increase your chances of having her run back to you.
If Her New Boyfriend Does NOT Treat Her Well
This is the ideal situation you are hoping to be in.
Like I said, a comparison between you and the new guy is eventually going to happen no matter what it just a question of when.
Well, lets pretend that your ex girlfriend has been dating her new boyfriend for 2 months exactly. By now she knows him well enough to know what he is about. If she finds herself thinking something like,
“Wow, my new boyfriend couldn’t hold a candle to my last one.”
Then that is a very good sign because it means you are winning the comparison battle against her new guy. Humans in general are drawn to things that make them feel good and flee from things that make them feel bad.
Food is a perfect example of this.
Given the choice between a chocolate cake and spinach I am going to pick chocolate cake 100% of the time because it tastes/makes me feel good as opposed to spinach which has the opposite effect.
If your ex girlfriends new boyfriend isn’t treating her the way a woman should be treated in a relationship then she could soon be maneuvering to go back to the thing that makes her feel better than anything, YOU!
How Grass Is Greener Syndrome Play A Role
Believe it or not but your ex girlfriend moving on may actually be a good thing in the long run.
Sometimes women can get something called the grass is greener syndrome (GIGS.) It’s basically this idea that they can get in their head that even though they could be really happy with you they think they could do better than you. This idea compels them to break up with you and look elsewhere to find that “perfect match.”
Now, GIGS is very hit or miss.
For example, if your ex girlfriend breaks up with you and starts dating someone new who treats her really well like we talked about in the comparison section above your exes GIGS is going to be verified and as a result it is going to be much harder to get her back.
Of course, the GIGS can also work in your favor big time. If your ex broke up with you because she thought she could do better and discovers that she can’t then all of a sudden she is going to be scrambling to get YOUR approval.
I want you to be aware that the GIGS exists and could have been a possible reason for the breakup between you and your ex.
How To Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back If She Has A New Boyfriend
As you can see I have put together a “game plan” for you to follow above if you want to drastically improve your chances of winning your ex girlfriend back.
The game plan is divided into four major steps and as usual I will be giving you a lot of in-depth insight into each one of these steps.
First though, lets take a look at the steps you will need to successfully complete to even have a chance of getting your girlfriend back.
- Brief No Contact Rule
- Re-Establish Your Friendship
- Build Attraction In Text Messages
- Set Up A “Hang Out”
Lets begin by taking a look at the brief no contact rule.
Brief No Contact Rule
The No Contact Rule- A certain period of time where you purposefully cut off all communication to your ex girlfriend (and I mean ALL of it.)
Usually I recommend a 21, 30 or 45 day no contact rule in most situations. Well, if you find yourself in a situation where you are trying to get a girlfriend back who has a new boyfriend you may find that waiting 45 days in no contact is too long. I mean, that is 45 days that your ex girlfriend has with her new boyfriend to do all sorts of things (which I know you don’t want to think about.)
I have thought a lot about this and I think that this is one of those situations where a brief 2 week no contact rule is ok (that is 14 days for those of you who can’t count.)
Why 14 days as opposed to a traditional 21 or 30 days?
It’s quite simple really.
I have been doing this for quite some time and I have seen firsthand how hard it is for some men to stay in NC when they see their woman with another man. I understand where they are coming from I really do. Besides, men often have to be the hunters when it comes to relationships so that means that we have to do all the work to get the relationship started or re-started in your case.
Think of it like this.
If you could compare a relationship to a fire a woman would expect the man to start that fire. Well, starting that fire can be quite complicated if there is another man in the picture.
You Don’t Want To Give Your Ex And Her New Man Too Much Alone Time
One of the greatest fears for men who enter into the NC rule during this situation is that their exes are going to get so close to their new man that they will completely forget about their old one. While I am not a fan of becoming overbearing or annoying but I don’t think there is anything wrong with doing very subtle things to remind your ex that you are out there.
How can I best explain this?
Ok, imagine if you completed your no contact rule and called your ex and begged for her back. Not only is this needy and desperate but it is too big of a statement too soon. Instead if you did subtle things like liking a picture on Facebook then your ex is going to sit there and wonder,
“Why is he liking my stuff?”
While it is a far cry from her thinking,
“I want him back.”
It’s a start because you have her thinking about you.
This leads me to my next point.
Re-Establish A Friendship With Your Girlfriend
There is one thing I know about myself really well when it comes to relationships.
I am NOT ok with a woman being friends with her ex or talking to her ex every single day.
I know that may sound a little controlling or possessive but the truth is I honestly don’t care at this point. Perhaps I am a bit jaded because I have seen so much with regards to exes and I know that any time that exes are friends it usually doesn’t work out.
Of course, I would like to get your take on this.
Would you be ok with a girl you are dating or married to being close friends with her ex?
Hmm.. let me twist the knife a bit for you.
Imagine that your new (made up) girlfriend is best friends with her ex. Someone who used to sleep with her, who used to touch her in all the ways you get to. Your girlfriend talks to her ex every single day and he provides her with emotional support (support that is supposed to come from you.)
Would you be ok in a situation like that?
98% of men won’t.
I’ll admit that I certainly wouldn’t be ok with a situation like that.
So, how can we use this knowledge to our advantage?
By becoming your exes friend of course!
Become One Of Her Friends
Right now your goal isn’t going to be to get your ex girlfriend back.
I know that may sound weird and counterproductive but if you really think about it, it’s not.
Like I said above, it is very rare for a man to be ok with the fact that his girlfriend or wife is good friends with her ex. Well, once your exes new man catches wind that you and your ex are on speaking terms again (and friends no less) he isn’t going to be too happy and this is going to cause friction between him and his girlfriend (your ex.)
In other words, you becoming friends with your ex is going to cause your exes new man to go absolutely ballistic when he finds out that she is talking to you and this is what you want. You want HIM to do all the work in making you look like a star.
Provide Emotional Support
Providing emotional support for your ex girlfriend (when you become friends) is really where you are going to shine. If you can get her to open up to you and trust you enough to let you in then I guarantee that you are going to come out looking like a star.
Think of it this way.
If she can’t get the emotional support she needs from her own boyfriend but from you then when she makes that inevitable comparison between you and the new guy she is going to take that into account.
Now, I don’t want you to be fooled. When I talk about providing emotional support I am not talking about helping her with her own relationship. I don’t want you to even mention her new boyfriend at all. If she asks you for relationship advice on him I want you to decline as politely as possible.
However, anything else requiring emotional support you are definitely her man.
Build Attraction In Text Messages
What have we done so far?
Well, we’ve done a shortened version of the no contact rule (14 days to not give your ex and her new man a lot of alone time together.) We have also worked on re-establishing a friendship with her so that you can provide her with emotional support and her new boyfriend may cause a few fights over it.
I guess the question you are wondering now is what do you do after this point?
Well, at this point I would SLOWLY build attraction.
What Do I Mean By Slowly?
A big mistake I see a lot of men making is the fact that they jump into the deep end instead of wading into the shallow one when it comes to building attraction.
Look, calling a girl up and asking her out right on the spot is a high risk proposition.
Because absolutely zero attraction has been built. There is no chemistry. There is no build up or romance. Women love to be romanced. They love it when a man works for their attention. So, as you can see just calling a girl up and asking her out without any of the romance or build up doesn’t usually work.
So, when I say go slowly when you build attraction in text messages I mean become a master at the art of “building up.”
An Example Of The Perfect Build Up
Examples are best for explaining this type of stuff.
Ok, lets say that you are trying to get your ex girlfriend back and she has just gotten a new boyfriend. You have come to this page and have implemented everything perfectly so far. You have done a shortened NC rule, you have worked on re-establishing your friendship with your ex. Eventually the new boyfriend got so upset about this that it has caused a bit of a rift in their relationship.
Well, obviously the next step for you is to work on building attraction. Of course, in order to do that successfully you have to create this build up to gain the attraction momentum that you need. What I want to do now is to show you how you should go about creating this perfect build up.
I am a fan of a subtle build up with text messages which eventually lead to phone calls which eventually lead to a face to face meeting.
So, to give a quick recap.
- First you do a subtle build up of attraction with text messages.
- After enough attraction is built you can move on to conversations on the phone.
- Finally after you build attraction on the phone you can ask your ex out for a “hang out.”
Now, I realize that this is a birds eye view of what you are supposed to be doing. What you are probably wondering is what you should be doing when you text her. How do you build the attraction needed?
Well, that is a very complex subject that will literally take me 8,000 words to explain. Luckily, I have already written those 8,000 words here.
Using the guide in the link above you should be able to properly build attraction with the build up technique.
Set Up A “Hang Out”
This is really your first BIG test.
You have done the NC rule.
You have become your exes friend and provided her with emotional support.
You have rebuilt some of the attraction you used to have with her.
Well, now is the time to test and see if that hard work paid off. I want you to ask her for a casual hang out. This isn’t supposed to be a date. It’s just supposed to be two friends catching up. Now, a really good girlfriend wouldn’t see her ex boyfriend out of respect for her new boyfriend.
So, don’t take it personally if your ex declines your offer to meet up for a hang out.
It doesn’t mean you can’t get her back. It just means that she is being a good girlfriend to her boyfriend and she shouldn’t be punished for that. Keep building the attraction until she chooses to leave her current man in favor of the better option, you.
What It Means If She Accepts The Hang Out
If she accepts your offer to hang out then that means something important.
It means she doesn’t respect her boyfriend feelings enough to not hang out with you.
Why is this important?
Because a woman who is truly in love with a man wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize that relationship. She wouldn’t hang out with her ex boyfriend, she wouldn’t talk romantically to anyone else. She would be completely committed to that relationship.
Luckily for you, if she accepts your offer for a casual hang out, it means that she doesn’t care enough about her current boyfriends feelings to not hang out with you.
Now, I don’t know about you but that is a very good sign for you!