It’s one of the most horrifying situations to be in as a man…
You and your girlfriend have just broken up. At first you keep telling yourself,
“It’s going to be ok…”
“I can live without her…”
“I don’t need her…”
Of course, as time ticks by you begin to realize just how much she meant to you. How in love with her you really were. Time has a funny way of making us realize our mistakes and without a doubt letting your ex girlfriend go was a big one.
So, one day you decide to take a chance, to win her back. You figure the easiest way to do this is to send her a non threatening text message to check up on her. So, you do it. You pull out your phone, type in a very non threatening text message, send it to her and you wind up getting a response like this,
Before you sent that text your hopes were so high, you were daydreaming of your future together with her. Of course, after you sent the text that daydream was shattered and replaced with anger, heartache and jealousy.
So, the question you are probably wondering is how the heck are you supposed to navigate a situation like this where you want your ex girlfriend back but she has moved on to a new boyfriend.
Well, that is what this page is here to explore.
How To Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back If She Is Dating Someone New
For years I remember being terrified whenever a client of mine would tell me that they were in this situation.
Well, it’s because I had seen a lot of successes in “general breakups” but not too many in this particular situation.
But that’s because I didn’t have any type of situation specific protocol to advise men on.
It wasn’t until a couple of years ago I learned about something that completely changed the game when it came to getting exes back with new boyfriends.
And using that new game changing information I started developing a plan that I felt extremely confident in.
But coming up with a great plan is not the same thing as having a plan that works.
So, my team and I started recommending this new plan to the men and the women we worked with and slowly but surely we started noticing significant results.
Over the years we’ve changed things here and there but the core strategy for getting an ex girlfriend back with a new boyfriend remains the same and that’s what I’d like to teach you today,
- Know the risks of trying to get her back when she has a boyfriend
- Be aware that comparisons will be made
- Utilize The No Contact Rule
- Re-Establish A Friendship With Your Ex Girlfriend
- Try out “The Being There” Method
- Begin to build some light attraction in text messages
- Invite her to a hang out
Now, before we get started and I begin to dive into explaining the strategy I’d like to make a promise to you (and I do hope you hold me accountable.)
What’s the promise?
Any time I learn something new that can significantly impact your chances I am going to come to this page and update it so that you always have a resource you can trust to stay on top of things.
I started this website in 2013 and I can tell you that dating today is completely different.
Change is the only constant in life and that certainly includes strategies for getting an ex back.
1. Know The Risks Of Trying To Get Her Back When She Has A Boyfriend
Men can make a lot of mistakes when it comes to getting an ex girlfriend back.
Heck, they make so many mistakes I even made a video about it,
You know what I have learned through my time working on this site?
Nothing brings a couple together like a common enemy.
For example, you obviously came to this page because you want your ex girlfriend back and she has a new boyfriend. Well, what do you think would happen if the new boyfriend caught wind of the fact that you wanted your girl back?
Do you think he would like that fact?
Men, by nature, are very protective of their women so I guarantee you that to the new boyfriend you trying to get his girlfriend back is going to paint you in a light where you are an enemy.
So, obviously the big risk you run by trying to win your ex girlfriend back in this case is that you could become a common enemy between your ex and her new boyfriend which will ultimately cause them to be closer together.
Avoid Being A Common Enemy
Being a common enemy between your ex and her new boyfriend is one of the worst positions that you could possibly be in. You must do everything in your power to avoid this position.
I suppose the question you are wondering now is how?
How do you not be a common enemy in a situation where your intentions clearly paint you as an enemy (to the new boyfriend?)
The key here is subtly.
If you can be subtle but effective in your intentions to win your ex girlfriend back you will most likely NOT be looked at by your ex as a common enemy. In fact, what might end up happening is that your ex does all the work for you.
Let me give you an example of how this can work.
Lets say that you are very subtle in your intentions to get your ex girlfriend back but over time your methods start to work. All of a sudden your ex girlfriend starts to get confused about her feelings. You see, on the one hand she has strong feelings for you and on the other hand she has strong feelings for her current boyfriend.
Ideally this is where you want her, confused.
Inevitably she is going to talk to the one person who is supposed to support her and understand her no matter what, her boyfriend.
She may not be completely honest with him about what is going on in her mind but she is going to say things to him to try to test him to see if he is ready for the truth. Of course, sometimes you will get a boyfriend who can tell when something is off without her even having to say a word.
My point is simple.
Eventually the truth is going to come out and how do you think the new boyfriend is going to react to discovering that his girlfriend (your ex) is still hung up on you?
The Answer – Not well…
In fact, a massive fight or breakup might occur and now you are looking like you are in a really good position.
Again, YOU didn’t physically cause this breakup or fight, your ex did because of her feelings for you.
THAT is what we are trying to do here. Of course, the situation you currently find yourself in is one of the hardest to experience as your chances for success are slightly lowered. Allow me to explain.
What This Page Can Do For You
I am a very realistic person and I am assuming that you are too.
So, I am not going to sit here and tell you that if you follow every little step I outline on this page that your ex girlfriend is going to break up with her current boyfriend and come running back to you. While that is certainly the outcome that you are praying for it isn’t realistic to assume that, that is going to happen 100% of the time.
Well, getting an ex girlfriend back isn’t an exact science, it’s an unpredictable one because you are dealing with another human being (your ex) and none of us are mind readers so all of us are a little blind to a certain extent. However, with that being said it doesn’t hurt to have an expert on your side (me) who has seen so many situations and put so many relationships back together that he can drastically increase your chances of succeeding in almost any situation.
Did I lose you?
Ok, let me put this in simpler terms so you really have a good grasp at what this page is going to do for you.
Imagine for a moment that in every single breakup that occurs between a couple a certain percentage is assigned to it. That percentage correlates to the chance that, that couple has of getting back together.
Lets look at a few situations and assign percentages to them.
(Remember, I am just spit balling here to prove a point so don’t freak out if you find your situation below.)
- Regular Breakup- 35% chance of getting back together.
- Breakup Where Someone Cheated- 20% chance of getting back together.
- Long Distance Couple Breakup- 25% chance of getting back together.
- Breakup Where Your Ex Moves On- 20% chance of getting back together.
Do you kind of get what I am going for here with the percentages?
You may have noticed that I gave people whose exes have moved on to another man a 20% chance of getting back together. Now, most of you who are in that situation are going to see that number and immediately freak out because it’s pretty darn low.
I mean, a 20% chance of success means that there is an 80% chance of failure.
Well, that 20% number is based on you trying to get your girlfriend back without any of my advice. In other words, this page is meant to improve that 20% chance of success.
Ok, imagine this for a moment.
Imagine that you follow the advice on this page and get to a place where your ex girlfriend is confused about her feelings for you and her new boyfriend. Well, all of a sudden that 20% chance of success is bumped up to 50% because you know eventually she is going to have to choose between you and her new boyfriend.
In other words, this page is meant to drastically increase your chances for success!
So, lets get started.
2. Be Aware That Comparisons Are Going To Be Made
I have always found it fascinating that human beings have this need to compare things.
For example, today I was watching a movie and inevitably found myself thinking,
“The sequel to this was so much better.”
The movie was actually Batman Begins (I like Batman what’s the big deal?)
Anyways, I think it’s safe to say that your ex girlfriend is going to be comparing her relationship with her new boyfriend to her relationship with you. Now, this can either work in your favor or work against you. Obviously we are hoping that the new boyfriend is treating her horribly so you look like a prince but lets just say that, that doesn’t happen. Let’s go to the worse case scenario (for you) where the new boyfriend is treating her incredibly well.
How are you supposed to get her back then?
If Her New Boyfriend Treats Her Well
Before I really dive in to the details on this one perhaps I should define what I mean by your ex girlfriends new boyfriend “treating her well.”
When I think of a boyfriend treating a girlfriend well I don’t so much think of a guy opening doors and pulling out chairs (that’s still important thought) but I am thinking of something that is much deeper. I am talking about someone who provides emotional support, someone who listens and tries not to judge, someone who truly cares about her and she realizes it.
If your ex girlfriends new boyfriend does that during their relationship and you didn’t during yours with her then when she is going to make the comparison between you and her new guy she is definitely going to think the new guy is better and that is going to put you at a disadvantage.
Because usually a girl who has a better guy isn’t going to leave him to put herself back in a situation where she is treated poorly.
However, as I am sure you have realized there are situations where this does happen. Would you like to know how it happens?
One of the biggest assets I can bring to you with this page is my experience in dealing with thousands of couples. You see, I have a sister site to this one called, Ex Boyfriend Recovery, where I have helped thousands of women. I think it’s safe to say that I have heard just about every single story there is when it comes to breakups.
You want to know what always shocks me?
That some of these women want their exes back even after they have done HORRIBLE things to them.
For example, there was once a girl that came to my other site, Ex Boyfriend Recovery, who was dating a new guy but wanted her ex back even though he cheated on her six times with six different women. If I was in her position I would be screaming for his head but she wasn’t…
No, she was screaming for another reason, because she wanted him back.
So, what did this guy (who had done horrible things to her in the past) have that drew her in so much that she wanted to leave her perfectly good boyfriend?
A lot of you will probably point to the “bad boy” theory in which women are drawn to a “bad boy” of which this ex boyfriend of hers was clearly.
At first that was what I thought but the more I talked to her about her particular situation I began to realize that there was something else going on in her head.
Determined to find out I decided to just ask her what made her want him back.
Her answer was quite simple,
In other words, even though some women find themselves in a situation where they are clearly better off relationship wise sometimes the appeal of the connection can trump everything.
For example, if your ex girlfriend has a new boyfriend that treats her like a queen she may still be more drawn to you because she has a connection with you that the new boyfriend can’t top.
So, if you were to ask me how to get your ex girlfriend back in a situation where she has moved on and her new man treats her well then I would say you would have to hit her where she will be affected most, her romantic feelings for you. You will need to find a way to get her to tap into those feelings for you and when she does that is going to dramatically increase your chances of having her run back to you.
If Her New Boyfriend Does NOT Treat Her Well
This is the ideal situation you are hoping to be in.
Like I said, a comparison between you and the new guy is eventually going to happen no matter what it just a question of when.
Well, lets pretend that your ex girlfriend has been dating her new boyfriend for 2 months exactly. By now she knows him well enough to know what he is about. If she finds herself thinking something like,
“Wow, my new boyfriend couldn’t hold a candle to my last one.”
Then that is a very good sign because it means you are winning the comparison battle against her new guy. Humans in general are drawn to things that make them feel good and flee from things that make them feel bad.
Food is a perfect example of this.
Given the choice between a chocolate cake and spinach I am going to pick chocolate cake 100% of the time because it tastes/makes me feel good as opposed to spinach which has the opposite effect.
If your ex girlfriends new boyfriend isn’t treating her the way a woman should be treated in a relationship then she could soon be maneuvering to go back to the thing that makes her feel better than anything, YOU!
How Grass Is Greener Syndrome Play A Role
Believe it or not but your ex girlfriend moving on may actually be a good thing in the long run.
Sometimes women can get something called the grass is greener syndrome (GIGS.) It’s basically this idea that they can get in their head that even though they could be really happy with you they think they could do better than you. This idea compels them to break up with you and look elsewhere to find that “perfect match.”
Now, GIGS is very hit or miss.
For example, if your ex girlfriend breaks up with you and starts dating someone new who treats her really well like we talked about in the comparison section above your exes GIGS is going to be verified and as a result it is going to be much harder to get her back.
Of course, the GIGS can also work in your favor big time. If your ex broke up with you because she thought she could do better and discovers that she can’t then all of a sudden she is going to be scrambling to get YOUR approval.
I want you to be aware that the GIGS exists and could have been a possible reason for the breakup between you and your ex.
3. Utilize The No Contact Rule
Those of you who are avid readers of my site have probably read this guide and this guide. In those particular guides I talk a lot about the importance of the no contact rule.
But in case you were wondering what the no contact rule was,
The No Contact Rule- A certain period of time where you purposefully cut off all communication to your ex girlfriend.
Oh, and here’s a video explaining what it is in case you aren’t much of a reader and more of a visual learner,
Now, I know what you are thinking.
“Do you really mean I need to cut off ALL communication with her?”
However, there are certain situations where you can’t cut off all communication. For example,
- What are you supposed to do if you live with your ex?
- What about if you work with them?
- Share children together?
The list goes on and on.
Since explaining what to do in those particular situations might take too long and get us away from the purpose of this article I’d like to recommend you read to get a briefing on what you are supposed to do about it.
So, operating on the assumption that we are going do a strict no contact where we don’t talk to our ex at all after the breakup how long are we going to be doing it for?
How Long Should I Do No Contact For?
Usually I recommend a 21, 30 or 45 day no contact rules in most situations.
So what is best for this situation?
Well, when I originally wrote this article back in 2014 you could see that I clearly erred on the side of caution,
“If you find yourself in a situation where you are trying to get a girlfriend back who has a new boyfriend you may find that waiting 45 days in no contact is too long. I mean, that is 45 days that your ex girlfriend has with her new boyfriend to do all sorts of things (which I know you don’t want to think about.)
I have thought a lot about this and I think that this is one of those situations where a brief 2 week no contact rule is ok (that is 14 days for those of you who can’t count.)”
But it’s been over four years since I wrote those words and after more research and success do I still believe a 14 day rule is the best?
Hmm…. I am not quite sure.
Typically speaking there are two lines of thought on the length of time you should be waiting after the no contact rule,
- You Don’t Want To Give Your Ex And Her New Man Too Much “Alone Time”
- By Giving Them A Little More Time It Gives Them A Chance To Get Over The Honeymoon Period
So, what’s the best approach?
Let’s explore each of these thoughts.
Thought #1: You Don’t Want To Give Your Ex And Her New Man Too Much Alone Time
One of the greatest fears for men who enter into the NC rule during this situation is that their exes are going to get so close to their new man that they will completely forget about their old one. While I am not a fan of becoming overbearing or annoying I don’t think there is anything wrong with doing very subtle things to remind your ex that you are out there.
How can I best explain this?
Ok, imagine if you completed your no contact rule and called your ex and begged for her back. Not only is this needy and desperate but it is too big of a statement too soon. Instead if you did subtle things like liking a picture on Facebook then your ex is going to sit there and wonder,
“Oh my god he liked my photos! He never liked anything when we were together?”
While it is a far cry from her thinking,
“I want him back.”
It’s a start because you have her thinking about you.
This leads me to my next point.
Thought #2: By Giving Them A Little More Time It Gives Them A Chance To Get Over The Honeymoon Period
We’ve already talked a lot about comparisons being made above so lets assume that you start liking your exes stuff when she’s in the middle of the honeymoon period with her new guy.
Instead of thinking,
“He liked my photos!”
She might be thinking,
“I hate him so much.”
Timing is an important concept for you to grasp here because if your ex is in the midst of a honeymoon period with her new guy whenever you start to try anything it might be met with a very cold disposition.
Now compare that to reaching out or doing something subtle like liking a photo on Facebook when things aren’t going so well between her and the new guy.
All of a sudden you can make a lot more progress, can’t you?
Some of you may be wondering where I came up with this and for me to fully explain that I have to tell you a story.
A few months ago my wife and I took on a project, a woman whose ex left her for another woman.
Needless to say, she was devastated.
It’s not quite the same exact situation as you but it’s incredibly close.
Originally whenever I’d take on a project like this, in this situation, I’d recommend shorter no contact time frames but I thought I’d do something a bit different this time.
I recommended a standard 21 day no contact rule.
I wanted to see what would happen.
Well, around 7 days into her no contact rule she ended up breaking down and contacted him.
After a scolding from me I told her that she’d have to do the 21 day rule over from it’s start.
This time she actually completed it but we noticed that her ex was still being “lovey dovey” with the new girl.
So, I thought I’d make things really interesting and tell her to do another set of the no contact rule, 21 days.
When it was all said and done our little project had done 49 days of no contact before she reached out.
And to cut an incredibly long story short she ended up getting her ex back!
Here’s my point.
When “the project” got through the no contact rule for the first time she ended up getting a very cold response from her ex when she did reach out.
Her ex was still very much into the other woman.
It wasn’t until he had been given enough time to come down off of cloud nine before she made any type of progress.
What’s The Best Time Frame?
Our research suggests that on average it is going to take you anywhere from 3 to 6 months to get your ex girlfriend back.
That figure becomes even greater if your ex is with someone new.
So, overall I’d say the best approach is to do a minimum of at least 45 days of no contact so that your ex has enough time to come down off of cloud nine.
4. Re-Establish A Friendship With Your Girlfriend
There is one thing I know about myself really well when it comes to relationships.
I am NOT ok with a woman being friends with her ex or talking to her ex every single day.
I know that may sound a little controlling or possessive but the truth is I honestly don’t care at this point. Perhaps I am a bit jaded because I have seen so much with regards to exes and I know that any time that exes are friends it usually doesn’t work out.
Of course, I would like to get your take on this.
Would you be ok with a girl you are dating or married to being close friends with her ex?
Hmm.. let me twist the knife a bit for you.
Imagine that your new (made up) girlfriend is best friends with her ex. Someone who used to sleep with her, who used to touch her in all the ways you get to. Your girlfriend talks to her ex every single day and he provides her with emotional support (support that is supposed to come from you.)
Would you be ok in a situation like that?
98% of men won’t.
I’ll admit that I certainly wouldn’t be ok with a situation like that.
So, how can we use this knowledge to our advantage?
By becoming your exes friend of course!
Become One Of Her Friends
Right now your goal isn’t going to be to get your ex girlfriend back.
I know that may sound weird and counterproductive but if you really think about it, it’s not.
Like I said above, it is very rare for a man to be ok with the fact that his girlfriend or wife is good friends with her ex. Well, once your exes new man catches wind that you and your ex are on speaking terms again (and friends no less) he isn’t going to be too happy and this is going to cause friction between him and his girlfriend (your ex.)
In other words, you becoming friends with your ex is going to cause your exes new man to go absolutely ballistic when he finds out that she is talking to you and this is what you want. You want HIM to do all the work in making you look like a star.
Provide Emotional Support
Providing emotional support for your ex girlfriend (when you become friends) is really where you are going to shine. If you can get her to open up to you and trust you enough to let you in then I guarantee that you are going to come out looking like a star.
Think of it this way.
If she can’t get the emotional support she needs from her own boyfriend but from you then when she makes that inevitable comparison between you and the new guy she is going to take that into account.
Now, I don’t want you to be fooled. When I talk about providing emotional support I am not talking about helping her with her own relationship. I don’t want you to even mention her new boyfriend at all. If she asks you for relationship advice on him I want you to decline as politely as possible.
However, anything else requiring emotional support you are definitely her man.
5. Try Out The Being There Method
I’d like to piggy back off of step four above and talk now about what I consider to be a game changer for your situation.
Above I made mention of the fact that I wouldn’t be ok if a girl I was dating was constantly talking to her ex.
That’s where the “being there method” comes into play.
What is the being there method?
Being There Method: As long as you are a constant presence throughout your exes life it will create enough annoyance in the new guy to cause the downfall of their relationship. But perhaps the most brilliant part about this strategy is that it forces your ex to choose between the new guy and you.
That is why it’s so important to wait until your ex has come down off the honeymoon period before you try this out because that’s when she is more likely to side with you.
Now, before I unpack the definition I’d first like to talk about how this is kind of a strategy that is morally grey.
This Is Morally Grey But It Works Better Than Anything I’ve Found!
You may not know this about me but I have a private Facebook Group for people who are going through breakups.
One of the things I like to do for them are Facebook Lives.
This is where, for an hour, I will stream live and answer questions.
Here’s a screenshot so that you can visualize what I am talking about,
About a year ago I remember I was doing one of these lives and a real therapist who happened to be in the group was watching.
(Believe it or not but it happens)
Anyways, someone had asked about what to do in a situation “new person” when I started talking about the being there method and how great it was.
Well, the therapist watching rightly pointed out that everything about it was wrong and that you shouldn’t interfere with a relationship like this.
Can you see where this is going?
She dug in and defended her position and I dug in and defended my position and everyone got treated to a show for ten minutes.
After the experience I literally when I was left to my own thoughts I began to agree with the therapist.
Everything about this strategy is wrong.
You shouldn’t knowingly interfere with your exes relationship.
It’s manipulation at it’s finest.
But here’s the thing.
I get hired to come up with strategies like this for a living. Someone will pay me money and ask,
“Chris, I don’t care what it is just help me get her/him back!”
And so off I go trying to figure out the problem.
Here’s the thing.
When it comes to getting an ex girlfriend back who is with someone new the worst thing you can do is just sit around and do nothing.
You have to do something.
And that’s where the being there method comes into play.
Now, am I saying to try to get your ex to cheat?
All I am saying is that you need to become a constant presence for her.
She needs to talk to you a lot.
Monopolize her time.
But let’s not forget the fact that technically this is manipulation and it is definitely in that morally grey area.
It works though.
Better than anything I’ve ever seen.
So, if you are ok with that then lets proceed.
Monopolize Her Time And Indirectly Make Her Choose
The goal here isn’t to step over any lines that you aren’t supposed to cross. It’s simply that you are competing with her new guy for her time.
The more time you can get her to spend talking to you the better.
Have you ever heard of a causality chain?
It’s sort of my own little creation but I love them.
Basically it’s a cause and effect graphic.
I’d like to show you one right now.
Now, do you see what the being there ultimately leads to when you look at it’s cause and effects?
It leads to an ultimatum from the new guy.
And everyone hates ultimatums.
That’s the brilliant part about this strategy. By simply “being there” it forces the new guy to force your ex girlfriend into a choice and if you do enough of what I am going to talk about next your ex ideally should choose you.
6. Build Attraction In Text Messages
What have we done so far?
Well, we’ve done a shortened version of the no contact rule (14 days to not give your ex and her new man a lot of alone time together.) We have also worked on re-establishing a friendship with her so that you can provide her with emotional support and her new boyfriend may cause a few fights over it.
I guess the question you are wondering now is what do you do after this point?
Well, at this point I would SLOWLY build attraction.
What Do I Mean By Slowly?
A big mistake I see a lot of men making is the fact that they jump into the deep end instead of wading into the shallow one when it comes to building attraction.
Look, calling a girl up and asking her out right on the spot is a high risk proposition.
Because absolutely zero attraction has been built. There is no chemistry. There is no build up or romance. Women love to be romanced. They love it when a man works for their attention. So, as you can see just calling a girl up and asking her out without any of the romance or build up doesn’t usually work.
So, when I say go slowly when you build attraction in text messages I mean become a master at the art of “building up.”
An Example Of The Perfect Build Up
Examples are best for explaining this type of stuff.
Ok, lets say that you are trying to get your ex girlfriend back and she has just gotten a new boyfriend. You have come to this page and have implemented everything perfectly so far. You have done a shortened NC rule, you have worked on re-establishing your friendship with your ex. Eventually the new boyfriend got so upset about this that it has caused a bit of a rift in their relationship.
Well, obviously the next step for you is to work on building attraction. Of course, in order to do that successfully you have to create this build up to gain the attraction momentum that you need. What I want to do now is to show you how you should go about creating this perfect build up.
I am a fan of a subtle build up with text messages which eventually lead to phone calls which eventually lead to a face to face meeting.
So, to give a quick recap.
- First you do a subtle build up of attraction with text messages.
- After enough attraction is built you can move on to conversations on the phone.
- Finally after you build attraction on the phone you can ask your ex out for a “hang out.”
Now, I realize that this is a birds eye view of what you are supposed to be doing. What you are probably wondering is what you should be doing when you text her. How do you build the attraction needed?
Well, that is a very complex subject that will literally take me 8,000 words to explain. Luckily, I have already written those 8,000 words here.
Using the guide in the link above you should be able to properly build attraction with the build up technique.
7. Set Up A “Hang Out”
This is really your first BIG test.
You have done the NC rule.
You have become your exes friend and provided her with emotional support.
You have rebuilt some of the attraction you used to have with her.
Well, now is the time to test and see if that hard work paid off. I want you to ask her for a casual hang out. This isn’t supposed to be a date. It’s just supposed to be two friends catching up. Now, a really good girlfriend wouldn’t see her ex boyfriend out of respect for her new boyfriend.
So, don’t take it personally if your ex declines your offer to meet up for a hang out.
It doesn’t mean you can’t get her back. It just means that she is being a good girlfriend to her boyfriend and she shouldn’t be punished for that. Keep building the attraction until she chooses to leave her current man in favor of the better option, you.
What It Means If She Accepts The Hang Out
If she accepts your offer to hang out then that means something important.
It means she doesn’t respect her boyfriend feelings enough to not hang out with you.
Why is this important?
Because a woman who is truly in love with a man wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize that relationship. She wouldn’t hang out with her ex boyfriend, she wouldn’t talk romantically to anyone else. She would be completely committed to that relationship.
Luckily for you, if she accepts your offer for a casual hang out, it means that she doesn’t care enough about her current boyfriends feelings to not hang out with you.
Now, I don’t know about you but that is a very good sign for you!
Hey guys I just want you to know I had a blast writing this article!
Writing something this long tends to be difficult because you run out of gas as you get deeper and deeper into it.
Nevertheless, if I missed something or you want to ask me anything please do so in the comments.
My team and I will personally answer you.
3,060 thoughts on “How To Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back If She Has A New Boyfriend”
June 6, 2021 at 5:52 pm
Suppose you try employing the Being There method and she tells you to stay away from her, stay away from her new man, stay the fuck out of her life. What then?
April 6, 2021 at 2:33 am
i was in a relationship with my ex for almost a year we loved each other but then things went south she was talking to some other guy and ive been moarning and wanting to get her back but it seems like i distance mine and her relationship more after 4 months ive took breaks on stop talking to her a week and she missed me but then i did it again the other week and shes doing fine with her new boyfriend shes recently dating were just friends now but i know my ex has a good heart even thought my family says she doesnt i just dont where to start to bring back her love again right now im staying confident that im more better than the man she dating right now to keep me up but i need a plan on what to do to win her back to me and im willing to do whatever time it takes to get her back.
April 6, 2021 at 2:22 am
I was in a relationship with my ex for almost a year we loved each other
February 6, 2021 at 11:22 pm
In the article, “How To Get Your Ex Girlfri
end Back If She Has A New Boyfriend” you said the best time period to for no contact is 45 days (section 3), but in section 6, you mentioned a shorted 14 day of no contact. Which should I use? Thanks
February 5, 2021 at 9:22 pm
I was in a relationship for 1 year (I really think people misunderstood what love is) so I can confidentally say we loved each other without limits. She broke it off because of lost of attraction, being needy and clingy (eventhough she didn’t know the reason, after months of recovering and extensive research I found out that was the reason). I used some attraction method but end up telling her the truth and the methods I was using (my biggest mistake). After a month of chasing and post-breakups mistakes I started no contact, after that, I found out secretly that she was in a new relationship (100% a rebound, they were chatting for 2 years and was saying to her that his intentions are more than that, we used to make fun of him..). It was impossible for me to show changes bc I didn’t have social media. She know I am the most unsocial person on earth. After 44 days I contacted her for a genuine reason and after a week I showed up at her house because of a surgery she had. We had a good time after that we talked every several days but for important stuff (university ,courses) without personal questions. Here she had no clue that I know about her new bf and was hiding it bc she was so guilty bc she telled me she won’t get in a new rs like she did with her previous ex. When we started uni, I was keeping things funny and talking about my changes and improvements (very very subtle, a girl name appeared on my screen..) (very careful because I already told her the methods) but still her reaction was minimum to nothing, like she was emotionally detached and has moved on (like she was so convinced subconsciously that she did better than me after the breakup and there is no way I did better, she is not willing the give the power and realise that I am not chasing anymore and don’t want her back). Everyday I was driven her off at her house after we finish. And the fact that she was in my class, she already put her defenses up and that’s a topic that of course she talked about with her new bf. I saw them a couple times by coïncidence and didn’t reacted. I think my no-reaction to her new relationship made it less valuable in her eyes, and instead of her falling back for me, she falled for a classmate! (mainly bc I said all guys were good here except this one (people want want they can’t have) and him using some technqiues scrambler and push pull). And she wasn’t so receptive to flirting. Here I realised that the level of attraction was too low.
She was feeling more and more attracted to the classmate. My jealousy killed me, I was convincing myself to stay cool and casual or I will screw all my mini progress, but failed. Sometimes I was sitting alone while she was talking to him, I wasn’t able to make eye contact with her, the level of humilation they did to me was inexplicable, (I can assure you that she was not trying to make me jealous), in fact she was so guilty of it. Like she was saying in her head ‘I hurted this person so much, I don’t want to hurt him more’. After some days of them spending time together I left mid-day without talking to her. After that we had 2 months of holidays, I made no contact to undo the damage I have done. After a month we started classes in the same zoom meeting, she contacted me to ask how I did in exams, I kept things funny and upbeat, updated on my progress. I think it was to relieve guilt, after that we didn’t spoke, we still participate in zoom, I am trying to stay positive in front of the camera.. I had so many excuses to initiate contact (she knows that) but I didn’t, otherwise she would think the moment she showed interest and gave hope I became exsited and was still needy..
She never lost respect for me and never hated me, she knows I did nothing wrong to broke up with me and I don’t deserve what happened.
What is the point of the being there method if you would fall as a safety net, it’s like I’m saying to her I am here when you broke up with him, she would not fear losing me if I am there. I would never position myself and be like every other guy she talks to and tells her boyfriend about. I would never be that low. I remember how we used to have fun about guys who are hitting on her.
Look, after that much time have passed, I now see the big picture, I should be the one to be chased after, I am the big prize, I have more value than her, I was more loyal, I see the negatives that were in the relationship, she should be the one chasing my forgiveness and begging me for a second chance, I know no one will love her more than me and the connection and everything we had, she’ll never find it with anyone else. I just can’t know how the person that was once responsible for your happiness is now responsible for all your wounds. Like she was another person.
I don’t give a shit of what it is called a rebound or a serious or anything. The last time I dumped someone, I stayed loyal to her years after the seperation even though I had endless options, out of respect, healing and growing.
Now I have grown a lot, way more than anybody think, this breakup is a gift from god to grow, become aware, learning lessons and from my mistakes and focusing on myself. The next girl that I will date will be so lucky and it will be an amazing relationship.
Eventhough I think I still love her, I will never regret anything, it was a wonderful relationship that I have learned so much from it.
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