What Are Your Chances of Getting Your ExGirlfriend Back?

My Ex Girlfriend Says She Loves Me But Doesn’t Want To Be With Me… What Now?

I believe in tackling problems head on so I am going to be blunt…

I know your worst nightmare…

The thing that keeps you up at night…

I know all about that deep pain you have inside your chest….

I know about your hurt…

Your constant worry…

Oh, and I am not talking about your recent breakup with your ex girlfriend.

I am talking about the fact that your ex girlfriend keeps telling you that she loves you “post breakup” and yet she still hasn’t committed to you.

You are worried that she may be stringing you along…

Playing with your feelings…

That she really doesn’t mean it…

And that is what we are here to find out.

Lets find out what the hell is going on in your ex girlfriends mind once and for all.

Now, I know you may feel a little hesitant since you are reading this on the internet and “common knowledge” says that everyone and everything on the internet are lies and you should run the other way…


But before you take off sprinting let me tell you a little bit my website.

This is Ex Girlfriend Recovery…

I know what you are thinking,

“Umm… Chris is that supposed to mean something to us?”

Ha ha ha…

Ya, perhaps I should of led with the fact that EGR (Ex Girlfriend Recovery) is widely known as the,

Figuring out what the hell is going on in your ex girlfriends head during and after a breakup website.

I guess what I am trying to tell you is that you came to the right place and I am definitely not going to try to spam you with a bunch of ads or money grabs…

Well, except this one,


No I am just kidding 😉 .

But I do have a book I sell… Oh wait, I promised I wouldn’t do that.

Ok, lets get to the real reason that you are here.

You want to figure out why your ex girlfriend keeps telling you that she loves you but she still won’t commit to you.

It doesn’t make sense does it?

I mean, to us men if you say you love someone it only makes sense if you enter into a romantic relationship with that person, right?

Here let me give you an example,

Sarah tells Johnny that she loves him,

Screen shot 2012-07-16 at 6.48.46 PM

As a result of Sarah telling Johnny that she loves him the two end up entering into a romantic relationship together,

Screen shot 2012-07-16 at 6.48.46 PM


To me..

To you…

And it should make sense to everyone.

BUT (you knew the but was coming didn’t you) we aren’t dealing with everyone here now are we?

No, we are dealing with women.

And women don’t think like us men.

You see, men think in very straightforward terms but women don’t do that.

They think sideways…

In octagons…


And zig zags…

So, if you want to get to the bottom of what the hell is going on in your ex girlfriends mind you are going to have to start thinking that way. Instead of thinking in the traditional manner that you are used to you are going to have to open your mind to a strange mindset.

What’s the deal with this strange mindset?

Well, I like to call it,

“How Women Define Love”

Before We Begin I Need To Tell You Something Important

Many men come to this website wanting to get their ex girlfriends back.

But there’s a problem with this line of thinking….

Getting an ex girlfriend back generally isn’t a simple process. It requires a lot of thought, strategy and even a little bit of luck.

The truth is that I can’t tell you everything that you absolutely need to know about getting your ex girlfriend back in this article.

For me to say that I can would be a lie.

Luckily, I have created something that can tell you just about everything you absolutely need to know to get your ex girlfriend back.

You can learn more about it by clicking the button below,

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The Strange Mindset: How Women Define Love

love me

Now, I suppose it is a bit presumptuous of me to assume that you are like me when it comes to love but I am going to do it.


Well, I feel I am a pretty good gauge on how the average man views those three special words,

I Love You

You see, to me those three little words change everything.

Once you say them to someone they can’t be taken back.

It’s an indication that the feelings you feel for that person are so strong that you are willing to potentially marry them.

In other words, I don’t take those words lightly and I think in my entire life I have only said them five people and three of those people were related to me by blood.

This is how men view love.

They view it as something sacred…

Something that shouldn’t be thrown around easily…

But what about women?

How do women view love?

Well, in order to understand that you must first grasp the concept of their being more than one type of love.

The More Than One Love Concept

theres more

Here is where the spirals and the zig zags of a woman’s view of love come into play.

To us men there is only one type of romantic love that should be said to a person who you could potentially have a romantic relationship with.

But to women there are many (and not all of them are romantic.)

Let me give you a few examples.

  • I Love You (Translation: Your My Best Friend)
  • I Love You (Translation: You Make Me Laugh So Much)
  • I Love You (Translation: You Are An Important Person To Me)
  • I Love You (Translation: Your Like My Big Brother)

Man, who knew three little words can have so many different meanings when women say them.

I suppose you want me to expand on each of these translations and if you may have fallen victim to one of them from your ex, huh?

Ok, lets start from the top.

I Love You (Translation: Your My Best Friend)

The key to understanding these translations is to understand the context that they were said in.

Oh, and also understanding the tone is important.

Let me give you an example.

If I were a woman and we were friends and you did something really funny then I might jokingly say,

“Haha I love you”

In a very joking type of way.

Now, does that mean that I really truly love you from the bottom of my heart?

No, it just means that I really adore you as a friend.

Speaking of laughing…

I Love You (Translation: You Make Me Laugh So Much)

Strangely I stole this one from my wife.

I know that seems weird but bear with me here.

Sometimes when I make my wife laugh A LOT she says,

“I love you”

But the tone is the key here.

She says it in a way that isn’t necessarily loving but appreciative.

Sort of like,


I am so glad you made me laugh. I love that feeling of laughter and I love you for giving it to me.

Now, does that mean that she wants to become intimate with me immediately?

Nope… BUT it does score points for later 😉 .

I Love You (Translation: You Are An Important Person To Me)

We get this “I Love You” a lot here at Ex Girlfriend Recovery.

A certain portion of women want to remain friends after a breakup.

BUT most men don’t want to be friends after a breakup.

So, if you put yourself in a woman’s shoes what is the one thing you can say to ensure that the person that you do want to see more of won’t leave you forever?

“I Love You” seems ideal, right?

But this one is hard to dissect because it will sound like the real thing.

There is no jokey or appreciative tone accompanying it.

My best piece of advice here is to not jump to any conclusions when you receive an “I Love You.” Instead, study what happens next.

If she really did mean it in a romantic way then she won’t reject your attempts to solidify a relationship.

I Love You (Translation: Your Like My Big Brother)

To be honest this “I Love You” is easy to dissect.


Because it is usually accompanied with a phrase like,

“I love you. Your like the big brother I never had…”

Ya…. that is never what you want to hear especially after dating and being romantic with that person.

moment of silence

The friend zone sucks!

But Chris, what if she tells you that she loves you like a member of her family?



moment of silence

Ok, well what if she tells me that she loves me that she loves me more than any friend she has had in her entire life?


Are you serious?

friend zone

I think you get the point.

What you are striving for here is real romantic love.

Lets define that now.

Real Romantic Love

To be honest I don’t feel that I need to define this for you because you actually had a taste of what her “romantic love” felt like.

Essentially the entire goal of this article is to achieve romantic love from your ex girlfriend.

But how?

Well, your ex girlfriend has already told you that she loved you which I will admit is better than nothing.

BUT she hasn’t committed which is a problem.

So what can we do?

Well, I am going to leave our strategy in the capable hands of my good friend Albert Einstein.

albert Einstein

Hahaha… ok, all kidding aside did you know that Albert Einstein once said,

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.

You can’t keep doing the same thing you are currently doing when it comes to your ex girlfriend and expect her to “all of a sudden” commit to you.

Something is going to have to change.

Still not convinced?

Well, get off your high horse and accept reality.

The way things are… you will never get her to commit.

Look at it like a math problem.

No matter how hard you try you can’t make 1 + 1 = 3.

Nope, you are going to have to change something.

(In the math problem’s case you are going to have to change one of the 1’s into a 2.

1 + 2 = 3

So, Lets Shake Things Up A Bit 😉

First things first…

I am issuing a few decrees and taking over your life for a little bit.

Is that ok with you?



Ok, first decree.

DECREE ONE: Under No Circumstances Will You Continue To Be Used For Emotional Support Anymore


I want you to take a moment and study the “more than one love” section above.

Do you see any common correlation between all the different definitions of the “I love you’s?”

Basically an underlying reason for why your ex girlfriend told you that she loved you is to make sure she doesn’t lose you.

Why wouldn’t she want to lose you?

Well by golly… it’s because you are such a gosh darn good listener!

Hahaha… ok I won’t do that stupid voice again I promise.

My wife and I just welcomed our first child into the world last September and let me tell you babies are A LOT of work.

They have to be constantly tended to.

  • They cry… you tend.
  • They whine… you tend.
  • They whimper… you tend.

You basically continue this behavior until they reach a certain age when they become a bit more self sufficient.

Do you see where I am going with this?

Right now you are in the role of a parent tending to a baby (your ex girlfriend) who is using you for emotional support.

And as much as I know it’s going to hurt you to hear this because lets be honest… it’s great being the big strong man who comes to the rescue you can no longer rescue your ex girlfriend.

Here is how I look at this.

When you are dating someone then you should pour your all into the relationship every single time. This includes being there for emotional support. However, when you are broken up then you are no longer obligated to be there for emotional support. So, show your ex that there are consequences to not being with you.

In other words, don’t reinforce the fact that she can count on you for emotional support even if she doesn’t date you.

It’s like reinforcing bad behavior in a toddler.

What will this accomplish?

When women are considering dating a man they are a lot more complex in their selection process than we are.

We are actually really simple…

If we see a girl that makes us go,


It’s a sure bet that we’d date her.

Women on the other hand rely on more than just looks.

So, while they do look at the looks of a man they are also looking for qualities like,

  • Can He Provide For Me
  • Long Term Capabilities
  • Intimacy
  • Support

You see that I put support in “bold” right?

Well, by taking support off the table with your ex girlfriend (who you aren’t dating) you are effectively putting yourself in a position where you are a better pitch to her.

What do I mean by that?

Imagine that in a month or two your ex girlfriend starts to consider you for dating material again.

Well, when she is going through this internal choice in her head on whether to date you again you want her to come to this conclusion,

“I really miss the support he gave me.”

Do you see the method to my madness now?

DECREE TWO: Self Improvement Is A Must (Use The Holy Trinity)

Ah self improvement.


You’re aware of the Holy Trinity right?

I’m not getting biblical on you here. The holy trinity is an actual thing that you can use to improve your own life that has nothing to do with the bible.

Here take a look at this graphic.


Do you see it?

Here, let me help you out a bit.


Do you see that point right in the middle between health, wealth and relationships?

Ya… that’s where health wealth and relationships intersect.

Think of it as the ultimate point where you find a perfect balance in your life.


Maybe I should create another graphic.

Ok, imagine a bar graph that is completely even.


Each of the little bars above represent your commitment to each aspect of the holy trinity.

Notice how all the bars are completely equal?

Yes, that’s because finding a path in life where you can dedicate equal time to health, wealth and relationships is like finding the holy grail.

holy grail

Oh, and for those of you who think it’s easy to dedicate an equal amount of time to the three aspects let me tell you something… it’s not.

What proof do I have?

Lets take a look at my life.

Recently my wife and I just welcomed our firstborn child to the world.


Lovely… Lovely… Lilly.

And by lovely I mean it’s lovely how loud she cries.

But more on that in a second.

I have always found that I function best when I am accomplishing things in the three areas of the the holy trinity above.

For example, when I workout I feel great (health)…

It energizes me and makes me want to write for you folks (wealth.)

And I absolutely love it when everyone in my family is happy (relationships.)

That’s how my perfect world would be.

That’s what “firing on all cylinders” would look like.

Unfortunately that’s not my life right now.


Because of all the lovely crying ;).

You see, right now we depend on my ability to work for money and that means it’s important that I spend a lot of time working for you folks! And in theory that’s great but when you have a crying baby at home thats not the easiest thing in the world. And then when I see my wife struggling to put the baby to bed I feel bad and want to lend a helping hand. In fact, I feel so bad sometimes that my wife is locked inside watching the baby I purposefully skip going to the gym so everyone is happy. Of course, all these types of distractions (on top of being off balance) prevents me from being productive at work sometimes.

I guess you could say my graph looks a little like this,


You see, I am spending so much time on the relationships in my life that the other aspects are suffering.

That’s just how it goes.

Ideally every aspect of the holy trinity will get equal attention but giving it equal attention is one of the hardest things to accomplish.

Thus, that’s what I want you to focus on.

I want you to take these three areas of life and do things that are positive in each of the areas.

Try to find that perfect balance.

Why is this important?

Well, I don’t know how to explain it other than this.

Lets pretend you have two men.

Man A and Man B.

man a and b

Man A is pretty darn awesome. He has unlocked the secret to balancing the holy trinity. He devotes equal time to health, wealth and relationsihps and overall I would classify him as an extremely content person.

happy sitck figure

Man B on the other hand, well… he has some work to do.

He devotes all of his time to wealth.

He is obsessed with his job and nothing ever can compete with that.

Now, while man B has amassed a great fortune his health and relationships are deteriorating.

Man B working

Let me ask you.

Logically, to a woman, which man is going to appear more attractive?

It will definitely be the man who has balanced the holy trinity.

In other words…

Finding A Balance With The Holy Trinity = Being More Attractive To Women

Now, are you ready to shake things up?

The “Hot And Cold” Method

hot cold

You are in a unique situation where you have no problem getting your ex girlfriend to admit to her feelings about you (she told you that she loves you) but when push comes to shove she just won’t commit.

That’s why you are here, right?

To get her to commit to you in a relationship.

Well, like I said, it’s time to shake things up.

Above I told you that you can’t expect to keep doing the same things over and over again and get her to commit to you. We have to change something.

And you know what that something is?

It’s how you are perceived.

But first lets back up.

Lets try to take an objective look at your situation and what your ex girlfriend is doing to you.

She tells you to love you… but that’s it. No relationship comes after she tells you that she loves you and you probably aren’t “getting any.”

I’m not going to lie. It’s a real crappy situation to be in.

Do you see it yet?

“What the hell are you talking about Chris?”



See it now?


Ok, allow me to elaborate.

Your ex girlfriend tells you that she loves you (HOT) and then after she tells you she loves you she doesn’t commit to you (COLD.)

See it now?

light bulb


So, what can you do to turn the tables or flip the script?

Well, to understand that we first must understand what your ex is doing to you.

Lets pretend that your ex is fishing on a boat. She casts her line with bait on it and gets a fish to bite.

Do you see where I am going with this?


So, her getting you to bite on the line is the equivalent of her telling you that she loves you.

Of course, if you have ever fished before then you would know that in order to catch a fish you have to pull the line in gradually.

You let it go….

And then pull it in…

Let it go…

Pull it in…

Now, as our metaphorical fish in this instant you don’t want to get pulled in. You just want to eat the bait and then be freed.

However, that will never happen as long as she has you on her line.

And by playing with you…

With this constant.. In and out routine with her line you are going to be stuck in limbo land forever.

So, how can we flip the script and make her the fish?

Flip The Script

Well, dissonance theory has taught us that the harder that something is to achieve or accomplish the more “in demand” that thing becomes. Not only that but the more appreciative a person will become once they achieve that thing.

And even though I couldn’t find any scientific studies to back my hypothesis up I think there is definitely a correlation between how hard something is to achieve and attraction.

Lets take Brad Pitt as an example.

Brad Pitt is a very good looking guy.

However, is he the most handsome man in the world?

No, that right is reserved for this guy right here,


Just kidding.

(Kind of…)

Anyways, I am sure there are regular guys out there that are just as good looking as Brad Pitt. So, lets pretend that we were to find an average joe who had the same level of looks as Brad Pitt and trotted both of them out in front of 100 women.

Who do you think the vast majority of women are going to pick?

100 women

Brad Pitt of course and it’s not because he has better looks than me… ahem… I mean the fake guy I just made up that has equal looks to Pitt.

Why though?

Well, it’s because Pitt is a movie star and his perceived value is higher.

In other words, he is going to be harder to get than me… ahem… I mean than the fake guy with equal looks.

So, what’s the point of this exercise?

Simple, it’s to prove to you that you need to become harder to get than you are right now.

What’s the best way to do that.


Look, your ex girlfriend has you so desperate you are probably willing to do anything to get her to commit to you. How did she accomplish this?

By pulling you in with something that makes you think you have a chance (HOT) and then pushing you away when she won’t commit (COLD.) So, why not do something similar to her?

Give her a taste of her own medicine.

How are you going to do this?

Well, usually you start off by promising something to warm your target up.

Take this article for example.

I just promised to teach you how to implement the hot and cold routine. This warms you up and gets you interested. Now, just when your target is at their peak interest point is when you turn from hot to cold.

For example,

😉 .


Written by EGR team mate

Chris Seiter

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314 thoughts on “My Ex Girlfriend Says She Loves Me But Doesn’t Want To Be With Me… What Now?”

  1. Nick

    January 3, 2018 at 7:05 am

    So I don’t know where else to ask for advice. My ex broke up with me a few days ago officially. We had been together for 8 years and have 3 children together (6,3,1). We separated 2 months ago after a fight, and we agreed to just be separated and to tell eachother if we were done for good. She told me on dec 31st she’s done for good and we were never happy, that there’s been too much hurt and pain and lies committed to continue. That she knew back two months ago that we were done for good and was just afraid to tell me ; I’m sick, been out of work for 7 months. Throughout our relationship a lot happened. We don’t have many things in common, I worked too much and didn’t spend enough time with my family. I wasn’t a good spouse, I’ve never committed to a woman before. I have ptsd from the army and she met me shortly after I got out. I lied to her about things and was fake at first because I just played games with women. I never cheated on her, but I did lose my temper a lot over minor things due to ptsd and just being unhappy w myself. I lost jobs constantly, 18 in 8 years. We struggled financially or while relationship. I damaged her emotionally, and got slightly physical ( pushed her) a few times spread out in our relationship during fights. I wasn’t ready to be a father, and I didn’t have a stable family environment growing up. I never did holidays, family functions, etc. about a year ago, I realized I was messing up and going to lose my family. I started trying really hard to make a change, and then got sick. I was bed ridden for most of the last 7 months with her. We hadn’t slept in same room for two years at this point. We basically knew it was over. But kept it going for our kids. I have been doing all I can to change. I’ve been doing therapy, anger management classes, doctors visits, and have surgeries soon. I ave a good job offer waiting for me when I’m better physically. I miss my kids, I miss her. Even with all we went through. She told me she knows I’m not the one, we weren’t meant to be together any more, we have nothing in common, and she ” loves me but isn’t in love with me” too much pain had been caused. I want to be better, I’ve been making changes but it’s too little too late to her now. We are staying friends for the kids, but I begged her to give me one more chance. Told her I could make her happy, that I will be a good family man and spouse, that I understand she’s given me so many chances but this time it’s really happening. She still said no, that it’s too late and I had my chances. That she is happier without me, that the two months with me gone she hasn’t had to worry I wouldn’t do what I was asked, that I’m not laying on the couch, that she doesn’t have to worry about fighting. I know she’s the one for me, that I messed up and lost a wonderful woman. She helped me through so much. All I want to do is make things right, live with my family again and give them the dad and husband they deserve. She wishes I continue to get the help I need, but she is moving on. She says she has no interest in seeing someone new, promises to not bring anyone around the kids unless it’s serious, but that she isn’t looking for someone at all right now. That she’s focusing on her and her kids being happy. Do you or anyone else have some advice for me? I’ve even been thinking about suicide lately and I don’t want to be like that. It’s uncontrollable. I’m so miserable. I have told myself that it’s best I’m not withher anymore if she doesn’t love me, but I can’t stop thinking about getting her back. My kids back. I’ve weighed the good and bad and reviewed all the issues I had with her, and I’m still coming to the conclusion that I want to spend my life with her. She is very stubborn and says she just can’t keep lying to ourselves any more, that she’s done and doesn’t want us to be ever again. How can I overcome that? How can I get her to see me in a different light, one where she may reconsider and see that I am different, that I am serious now, and that maybe it’s worth a chance again? Please, I’ve not been sleeping, I feel obsessive to a point. Any advice is welcome

    1. EGR Team Member: Amor

      January 11, 2018 at 9:01 pm

      Hi Nick,

      continue going to therapy and seeing doctors and remind yourself of what you have that you can be grateful for.. You have your kids. Your current relationship may have been done but you will still see her because of the kids and that means you have a better chance than other guys.. So, thinks of this as a restart and don’t rush things.. You have a lot to look forward too like your job and your health getting better.. Life is a constant work of progress.. Stop begging and trying to convince her because that’s chasing. Focus in yourself and in your kids for now and then later on slowly rebuild rapport after limited contact.. check this one:
      Using The No Contact Rule (Everything You Need To Know)

  2. Larry

    September 8, 2017 at 10:16 pm

    Hello and sorry for the long post. I am begging you to read it. I am at my wit’s end. I am desperaste for an answer.

    So, I was in a relationship for 5 months. My ex gf is in a military school and had to stay for about 2 weeks in a military camp. She was forced to work hard so, we were only talking for about 10 minutes every day while we used to talk almost the entire day. When she was done she returned to her place for a couple of days and then went on vacation with her friends. We didn’t see each other cause I was on vacation too at that moment. At her vacation she became really cold. She would send me messages first but she wouldn’t be warm at all. I panicked and lost it and went crazy over that, started asking her what’s happening, crying all night, fearing that I will lose her. She kept saying it’s not about me but the problem is hers. She said that perhaps she is tired of me, the military school is really making her super anxious and super tired. When I asked her if I’m losin her she said that we could probably save the relationship. Then, I began to not contacting her as much and ignoring her, when eventually she said that we have become distant and that we should end it. I lost it so freakin much. The next day I called her and told her something like have a nice life and be happy. She started crying (which is really rare for her, she never cries she is tougher than anybody I have ever met) and we hang up. I didn’t contact her for about a month when I felt the need to text her something beautiful just because we had a very beautiful relationship and we ended it really ugly. I told her that I will miss her, I told her I am sorry for all of my stupid reactions and that I will always love her. She was warm and said exactly the same things. She said she will always love me, she will miss me, she didn’t want things to turn out like that and wished for me to be happy. She is my 3rd relationship. The first one lasted for about 3 years and the second for about a month. I am very sentimental and I’m crying even now that I’m typing this message. Anyway. It feels like she was the best relationship I ever had. However I don’t want her back. I am not asking for a solution to get her back. I just want to know why she turned into a cold woman when she said that she will always love me and that she will miss me. I believe she indeed loved me. She had even mentioned marriage once or twice. Why did she stopped wanting me when we were having such a great time together? What did I do wrong? All I want is to be able to understand what went wrong and move on with my life. I want to forget her. It’s been a month and still think about her every day. I am in a lot better state than before of course, but she just won’t leave from my mind. I want to be able to love again. I am so desperate. I’ve never been so sad before. I even considered taking my life a couple of times.

    Again sorry for the long post and for any grammatical error, please bear with it for a few minutes and thank you in advance.

    1. EGR Team Member: Amor

      September 12, 2017 at 7:41 pm

      Hi Larry

      Looks like you grew apart

  3. Larry

    September 8, 2017 at 10:08 pm

    Hello and sorry for the long post. I am begging you to read it. I am at my wit’s end. I am desperaste for an answer.

    So, I was in a relationship for 5 months. My ex gf is in a military school and had to stay for about 2 weeks in a military camp. She was forced to work hard so, we were only talking for about 10 minutes every day while we used to talk almost the entire day. When she was done she returned to her place for a couple of days and then went on vacation with her friends. We didn’t see each other cause I was on vacation too at that moment. At her vacation she became really cold. She would send me messages first but she wouldn’t be warm at all. I panicked and lost it and went crazy over that, started asking her what’s happening, crying all night, fearing that I will lose her. She kept saying it’s not about me but the problem is hers. She said that perhaps she is tired of me, the military school is really making her super anxious and super tired. When I asked her if I’m losin her she said that we could probably save the relationship. Then, I began to not contacting her as much and ignoring her, when eventually she said that we have become distant and that we should end it. I lost it so freakin much. The next day I called her and told her something like have a nice life and be happy. She started crying (which is really rare for her, she never cries she is tougher than anybody I have ever met) and we hang up. I didn’t contact her for about a month when I felt the need to text her something beautiful just because we had a very beautiful relationship and we ended it really ugly. I told her that I will miss her, I told her I am sorry for all of my stupid reactions and that I will always love her. She was warm and said exactly the same things. She said she will always love me, she will miss me, she didn’t want things to turn out like that and wished for me to be happy. She is my 3rd relationship. The first one lasted for about 3 years and the second for about a month. I am very sentimental and I’m crying even now that I’m typing this message. Anyway. It feels like she was the best relationship I ever had. However I don’t want her back. I am not asking for a solution to get her back. I just want to know why she turned into a cold woman when she said that she will always love me and that she will miss me. Why did she stopped wanting me when we were having such a great time together? What did I do wrong? All I want is to be able to understand what went wrong and move on with my life. I want to forget her. It’s been a month and still think about her every day. I am in a lot better state than before of course, but she just won’t leave from my mind. I want to be able to love again. I am so desperate. I’ve never been so sad before.

    Again sorry for the long post please bear with it for a few minutes and thank you in advance.

    1. EGR Team Member: Amor

      September 12, 2017 at 7:42 pm

      Hi Larry

      Looks like you grew apart

  4. Bobby

    August 26, 2017 at 7:03 pm

    Hi! I am 38 and my gf is 21. We just broke up because of the age difference. I do not have any problem with the age gap but her parents are against us being together and it will be hard for her to go against them so she decided that we should stop here. I would really like to make things work and convince her that together we can make it happen. I tried to talk to her parents but they refused and my gf did not insist that they talk to me. Is there anything I can do to get back together? And on another note, what can I do to to convince her parents. Thanks

    1. EGR Team Member: Amor

      August 27, 2017 at 3:34 pm

      HI Bobby,

      give them time, and then contact them yourself.

  5. Paulie

    July 11, 2017 at 1:27 pm

    Hi Chris my ex and i broke up about four months ago. Unfortunately I cheated. We’ve tried this last two months dating again and while sometimes there was spark some other there was distance. Yesterday she tols me she had to go on his own for this period that she loves but right now she couldn’t be with me, after a while we kissed, we hugged and we laughed but she didn’t change her mind. I told her that I couldn’t be her friend that I would take some distance. She told me that even if she wanted me to me be close she understoos. I don’t know if I should attempt no contact again now or keep on establishing closeness through small contact. I’m also not sure if she’s starting to date another guy. What should I do

    1. EGR Team Member: Amor

      July 19, 2017 at 12:57 pm

  6. Vic

    July 11, 2017 at 7:04 am

    My girlfriend and I split after 4 years. We’ve got a son and to my knowledge we were functioning pretty well as a family. She broke up with me in some weird delayed response to things I did a few years back. I honestly am not even sure it’s the real story. She appeared to be loyal. We both spent A TON of time under each other for those years. In all of the happenings I told her that I didn’t think we could really be friends right now because I was still in love with her and not cool with being friendzoned. She said she was in love with me still as well. She also mentioned she wasn’t prepared to move on as much as I thought she was. I’m almost positive I need to implement the NC rule. But how would you recommend doing it if we have to live together for the next 6 weeks at minimum? Can I successfully pull it off??

    1. EGR Team Member: Amor

      July 19, 2017 at 12:56 pm

      HI Vic,

      you can use the advice in our other site. Here it is:

  7. BB

    June 22, 2017 at 7:12 am


    I’ve(32) been dating a single mother(30) of a 2 year old she has 90% of the time for 5 months. Zero complaints 4 months in (beginning of June). Then about 3 weeks ago something changed. She stopped replying to my texts in a normal fashion, stopped snapchatting me, sexy talk stopped, stopped participating in the planning of our time together, doesn’t hardly say I miss you or anything to make me feel close to her, texting has dropped significantly, gets irritated if I offer to help her with something(its offensive because im iplying she cant do it), doesn’t comment, like, post pictures, even acknowledge that I tagged her in a funny article related to something we talked about or whatever, doesnt want me to bring her coffee or lunch at work(I never really did anyways but now its non existent and we work 10 min apart), doesnt reply to messages for 7 hours sometimes (only when she is at work) and I KNOW she is on her phone, just chooses to not reply until right before bedtime. Just really stopped putting any effort in.

    We have SO much in common, SO much. We mesh so well and have same sense of humor. She has told me recently she thinks its sweet I am trying to “figure her out” because I wont be able to. Whatever that means. I straight up asked her tonight (after her begrudgingly agreeing to coming over) I was worried about her because I can see she is stressed and she said no reason to be worried. This brought up the topic of how often we see each other. We used to see each other 1-3x a week. Usually on weekend. She asked me what do i need as far as seeing her. I said at least one day during the week(no sleepover) and one day on the weekend. I honestly don’t see that as asking too much. I mean that is the point of a relationship right? To see each other because you enjoy them. I asked her what SHE needed. Her response was exactly this. “I need you to understand that its hard. Thats where I waiver, not that i dont want to be with you, being in a relationship. Says its not me..” This is the same girl who kept asking to make us FB official so this guy would leave her alone and jumped right into posting us on FB etc. I asked her where does she see this relationship going and she kinda paused then looked me in the eye and said “live happily ever after”. What!? Then I brought up how I am leaving for 3 day trip in 4 days(sunday morning). She told me she had to work that Saturday(totally legit) but didnt answer the question. I asked again later and told her ball is in her court and she said she probably wont have time. I DO NOT GET THIS. That means we wont see each other for another 1.5 weeks and she is choosing that. Im sorry but seeing someone you are falling in love with for 2 hours within a 2 week period is not ok. I forgot to mention that when I noticed her back off behavior I started to backoff or tone it down so neediness or whatever doesnt apply here.

    Its like im pulling teeth asking her to come over to my apartment for dinner that I cook. It feels that way at least but once she is here she is wonderful. Very affectionate, kissy and smiling/laughing. Really our together time quality has improved a lot since our first date. I genuinely believe she is just overwhelmed because of new manager job, having 2 year old and some serious family issues going on. I am just so fucking confused on what to do. I’ve been initiating all calls (once a week, big deal) and most of texts and planning everything. I don’t have the same vibe and my patience is running out. To me this is backwards progression of a relationship. My feelings for her havent changed, although im getting a bit frustrated but I dont show it. I really think I should just not initiate texts or calls anymore and see what happens but thats playing games, I dont do games and she knows that. I am just worried this will push her away further. I dont know what happend to me the last month but my mind has been just overloaded with all this insecurity and doubt about us. Also, I really don’t think she is cheating on me or anything. She has her 2 year old all the time. Probably something important here. 3 weekends ago she said she was going to be staying home(kid free) on friday night(Which is funny because she just ends up drinking wine and texting me a lot) and I admit I didn’t handle it well. We were in a routine and I assumed we would hang out like every other weekend so I didn’t understand at the time what was going through her head. I wasnt mean or anything just kinda lost my pep in the conversation. It brought up feelings of my past 2 girlfriends cheating on me and I kinda just shut down. I said everything was ok and she is totally welcome to do her thing but I wasn’t. We got off phone shortly after. She texted the next morning right at 6:45am like normal and said good morning blah blah. I usually get creative in texting but this time I said “Good Morning”. Then I didn’t do what I normally do and text her mid day and she texts me at 5pm, twelve hours since last text, asking if I was mad at her because I didn’t text all day. I said no I was busy which was a lie. I actually confessed it to her tonight and apologize explaining why. She has since stayed home by herself a couple times and I am completely fine with it now, but initially I freaked.

    This turned into a fricken novel, sorry. Anyways I don’t know what to do. We had a really great night tonight and I am feeling confident about myself. I can’t intentionally ignore her texts, or dont want to. Any advice would help.

    1. EGR Team Member: Amor

      July 6, 2017 at 4:28 pm

      HI BB,

      honestly, if you keep talking to her, then you’re really most likely to stay friendzoned.

    2. BB

      January 27, 2018 at 11:49 pm

      UPDATE: We broke up a month later. I couldn’t lay off. She just got married two weeks ago (5 months after breakup). The guy went to jail two weeks before I met my ex. Putting the pieces together I’ve figured out I was a rebound relationship because she just married the guy. I don’t know why I care now but it feels like a second breakup because we have been talking again lately. No more. Im done. Women can be very evil.

    3. EGR Team Member: Amor

      February 1, 2018 at 4:20 pm

      She made a wrong choice, karma will do the rest..

  8. Mathew

    June 17, 2017 at 3:33 pm

    I have been with my girlfriend for approximately 11 months, she is such an amazing wonderful girl who I truely love very much, we hardly fought or had arguments.
    However 20 days ago she came to me and said that she loves me so much but she isn’t happy with herself and has to break up with me.
    “She is so comfortable with me and happy with me but not when she is on her own”
    I have mutual friends who have validated this that it isn’t anything I have done but her own happiness.
    I would do anything for this girl including helping her realise her dream and show her love and affection,
    I have purchase ex recovery pro and have been combating insecurities (I feel in my heart I was a little clingy texting an messaging her everyday) and getting myself into shape,

    I love her so much and I know that me not talking to her must be hurting her, but I’m trying so hard

    1. EGR Team Member: Amor

      June 26, 2017 at 9:06 am

      Are you actively improving yourself today and in posting?

  9. Joseph

    June 16, 2017 at 3:43 am

    Ok so I broke up with my ex about 4 months ago and last month she contact me telling me that she miss me and that she doesn’t wanna lose me and at the very least she wants to be friends.Anyways we keep on talking and I totally fell in love with her again.When I told her that she said she loves me but we will never get back together because we try it once and it didn’t work.

    She also keeps using the hot and cold method on me and I fall for it every time and I’m also supporting her on her emotional issues.

    What should I do ?I’m afraid that if I stop supporting her she will leave me completely and never come back….it feels like she has all the power how can I turn the tables.

    1. EGR Team Member: Amor

      June 25, 2017 at 5:57 pm

      Try the advice above..if it doesn’t work, then it’s better to move on than to be stringed along

  10. Juan G

    June 2, 2017 at 3:14 pm

    I had an ex gf wich I dater for aprox 3 years, we constantly got into silly little fights that enden our relationship. I broke her heart several times not wanting to get back with her. After 5 months of no contact I contacted her about a month ago, surprise she has been with a new boyfriend for about 1 or two months, we have been going out for severla times then. I have followed all your steps and have made great improvement, up to the point that we are friends. We made out yesterday after dinner. It was a really emotional moment, about 30 minutes of kissing. After all she told me she loves me but our relationship has endend and we can only be friends because she does not want to end the relationship with this new guy because she does not feel comfortable doing so. How should I take it from here? I am lost and dont know what strategy to use.


    1. EGR Team Member: Amor

      June 2, 2017 at 6:26 pm

      walk away.. or you’ll probably be friendzoned.. either your friends, or she looses you..

    2. Juan G

      June 5, 2017 at 3:46 pm

      Thanks for your help. When you say walk away do you mean like telling her I that I am going to walk away and not respondig to her texts at all? or do you mean being a little colder and not being me the one who looks for her?

    3. EGR Team Member: Amor

      June 16, 2017 at 2:44 pm

      i mean moving on from her.. as in really moving on

  11. Corey

    April 27, 2017 at 5:51 pm

    Hello, my girlfriend broke up with me today and she said it was not about me but needing to be independent and single to find out why she isn’t happy. We live 3 hours apart and see each other every weekend. I said contact me if you change your mind and she said that she couldn’t because it would hurt too much I am guessing because of the distance even though its 3 hours and we are together every weekend. She is always on call for work and cant go out and do fun things alot. She had been quite snappy and mean until she opened up about everything, but by then it was too late. I find she had been holding so much in and didn’t communicate until the end. Our 1 year anniversary was on the 12th of may…. She also took down our relationship status from facebook right away after we talked too.

    1. EGR Team Member: Amor

      April 30, 2017 at 5:04 pm

      why did you break up? how many times have you broken up?

    2. Jordan

      May 31, 2017 at 4:55 am

      Hey I’m Jordan an I’m in 8th grade going to be a freshman next year. My girlfriend is in 7th grade. We have been dating for 3 months and 2 weeks. Everything seemed perfect! I felt a strong special connection with her, I always felt like I could talk to her since she is quite like me. From that strong connection we started holding hands and flirting. One day we kissed everything seemed great and then everything changed she grew distant, she really just didn’t pay attention to me. I began to question what I did wrong. Did I kiss her to early, I thought that because she is a really shy person and it was at school in front of a couple of people. I grew depressed and wondered were I went wrong we talked about it one day and we worked things out. I’ve told this girl “I love you” many times and she seemed to have liked it and always replied saying “I love you too”. I have told her many times that “she is the one” since I was feeling that strong connection with her.I also have told her “I don’t want to live my life with anybody else”. I thought our relationship was very strong since we worked out the past situation. A few weeks go by and we are going strong it’s getting close to the end of the year, but we are still happy. Since I love out of town I can’t really hang out with her outside of school, so school is the only place we really see each other. since I’m going to be a freshman I won’t really see her for a whole summer and then my freshman year. So it’s a couple days into summer break and we’ve almost been dating for 4 months. She Texts me and she’s acting different, not as happy. She tells me she needs to tell me something. She continues saying “I miss you and the pain is becoming unbearable not seeing you” and I say ” I know how you feel” then I say ” I love you” and then she says “I love you but you can’t have me right now is not a good time” and I begin to panic trying to change her mind with kind words but nothing works she says “we can date in highschool”. I am emidatily confused. I try to win her back but nothing I say works. She just keeps saying “I love you but right now is not a good time”. I am confused she loves me but she’s leaving me? what the fuck? She seems uncertain about the future of us and she told me that she didn’t think she could live with the pain of not seeing me for a year. I tried to tell her that things could be different but she doesn’t listen. She has lost hope on me. I told her “doesn’t leaving me make the pain worse?” But she doesn’t answer me. I said I thought our love was special and she says “it was”. I kept saying key word was I also said “you keep using passtense words because you don’t love me anymore”.She got mad when I said that. Then I apologized. She says I don’t need to change and that I didn’t do anything wrong but I’m not so certain about that. She says she still loves me so what the fuck is going on? Was I too clingy? Was I boring? Was I not confident enough? Did I even do anything wrong? id so where in the hell did I mess up? Family problems ? Please help me I really do love this girl and we are both very upset in this current situation!! Please tell me what I did wrong if I did do anything wrong!!! I need this girl back in my life!!!!!! All I want is her!!!!!!!!!! Keep in mind Maddie is a very shy person that doesn’t really say much. She’s always loved me saying “I love her”. She also loves holding my hand I know all of this for a fact. I’ve always been a gentlemen to her. If I did anything wrong please tell me how to win her back!!!! Also if you think you understand what’s going on with her TELL ME PLEASE!!!!!

    3. EGR Team Member: Amor

      May 31, 2017 at 3:28 pm

      Hi Jordan,

      give her space, so she can think and so, you can be less emotional too.

  12. Peter F

    April 23, 2017 at 11:02 am

    Hey! Me and my ex gf where in a 3 years relationship. So she decided to move on cause she “wasn’t in love with me anymore”. So, after the breakup I tried a 30-day NC and successfully got some positives answers. The best of them was in the 28th day when she started to talk to me again in a party, we’ve just make up and she said things like: “I miss you”, “my lil sister keep talking about you everytime”, “you are the hottest living guy”, “you know more than myself or anyone else”. And things like that. But said too things like “I was very decided when took this decision to go on” that created a resistance. After that we went to her home and we had sex, she was telling how she loved this and was very happy after, smiling for nothing. Any contact since that and 5 days after we met again in another party but she was kinda ignoring me, I tried to make up with her but got nothing than a “no, I don’t want”. I know she still loves me too much cause she said and her bf told me she was very unhappy with this decision. I don’t know what to do by now cause after the no, all I got was another party where she tried to speak to me after a mini-NC and I felt down, talking to her in the finish of the party. Am I all lost by now? What can I do to get back to my progress? How can I follow on this if we make up again? How to take off her resistance?

    1. EGR Team Member: Amor

      April 23, 2017 at 7:36 pm

      It’s not an nc if you still talked to each other,especially small talk..restart nc..focus in improving yourself.. And then take it slow in building rapport after

    2. Peter F

      April 24, 2017 at 6:45 am

      Hmm… I see. I got the full NC in the 28 days, but even if we had make up right in the 28th day and talked a little but with limits I should avoid that again. So restarting the NC like nothing? Just restart and “break” a little of our recent new rapport?

    3. EGR Team Member: Amor

      April 30, 2017 at 3:52 pm

      when you restart.. that means you wont initiate contact, nor reply, nor social media stalk. If you need to talk about important stuff, only talk about that.

    4. PETEr F

      May 2, 2017 at 2:14 pm

      Okay, it worked for a long time and by now is working. After we had sex, I have had implemented a mini-NC, so she started testing me. She is showing up everywhere I go, starts speaking to my friend loudly in order to me to hear and some of mine friends said to me that she is talking about me and trying to make me jealous. All of that subconsiously. But this “testing” and trying to calling attention is a positive signal?? I know that I need to react to her testing just using the NC and talking only about the essential, just not showing any feeling about her, but is this testing and all of that a good, very good, bad or something like that???? Thanks again!

    5. EGR Team Member: Amor

      May 3, 2017 at 4:57 pm

      it’s a good sign..yes, finish nc.

  13. Ian

    April 5, 2017 at 9:48 am

    Hey so we’re in the Middle East and my lady of a year the other day said she can’t give me anything at the moment.
    Says she’s exhausted she can do friendship but can’t do lovers, boyfriend, partner as she can’t handle it at the moment.
    She has recently been in ill health due to suffering a broken ankle at Christmas and then getting a very serious case of DVT and being hospitalised and now on meds that have made her feel repulsive.
    She has been getting a hard time at work and believes she is going to lose her job also and has been trying to find another as she has a daughter and is so scared for the future because of possible relocation.
    told me she is exhausted, scared, under extreme stress, ill health, studying for an exam, looking after her daughter ,terrified and has no idea as to how she is going to cope.
    She says she loves me and wants me to be a friend.
    I asked if she if wants me in the future and she has she doesn’t know about future she can’t plan anything and doesn’t know where she is going to be and she doesn’t know how she is going to support her child. Told her I would come with, to which she replied she can’t take responsibility and can’t handle it.

    I have no idea what to do, I love her and her daughter with all my heart, she wanted me to leave with her a while ago to another place but it seems everything is on top of her it’s completely going t on top of her.
    So far I have just been sending how are you and hope your ok honey and took her daughter out to the park.
    Saw her briefly spoke and hugged her and we kissed several times and I left.
    She is very disconnected with me and I am having to initiate the conversations.
    I’m really hurting inside.
    I said im there for her, her rock.
    Tell her everyday she is either my honey, darling, babe.
    What to do

    1. EGR Team Member: Amor

      April 10, 2017 at 9:21 pm

      do you want to try the no contact rule?

    2. Ian

      April 16, 2017 at 1:19 pm

      I’m trying the no contact rule, how long 30 or 45 days?

    3. EGR Team Member: Amor

      April 16, 2017 at 7:55 pm

      Do at least 30 days..make the most of it by improving yourself and be active in posting in social media

    4. Ian

      April 16, 2017 at 9:45 pm

      Yeah I hear you, make it about me and remembering who I am and improving myself and the attraction will follow.
      Weirdly I have had 2 ladies ask me to go hangout and another for my number, I took one to the beach and meeting another for food, strange feeling to be in demand again. Guessing don’t post pictures of self with another lady

    5. Ian

      April 17, 2017 at 10:56 am

      So today she and her daughter have been trying to get in contact, now I feel really bad for being ignorant and not responding and I’m meeting up with friends for drinks later which kinda feels bad

    6. Ian

      April 18, 2017 at 2:59 pm

      I sent her daughter a whatsapp voice message saying I won’t be around for a while as I am busy with my things, hope she will take care ,I will see her soon and I love her

    7. Ian

      April 19, 2017 at 4:33 pm

      So a couple of things have happened since I sent the voice message to her daughter which I’m not sure if it was breaking NC.
      Anyway she has sent me some texts. she doesn’t know what I want from her, that she feels I only want to see her when they will feed me, her daughter is upset I haven’t come over, that I have been guilt tripping her, that she is turned off, that she has been losing it for a while, that she is sorry for my misfortune, let’s stay friends if you want and that she is not my mommy.

      So that has really put my back up but I have not responded. I love this woman and her daughter truly and I know she has had a crap time of late and that my circumstances of not having a job haven’t helped but I’m like wow, is she for real that she doesn’t know how I feel about her and her daughter, I wanted us to be a family and had spoken about moving with them, I’m just lost now but on a good note for myself I have been adding pictures on social media even though we are not friends on FB and had 2 interviews for a new job, can feel my inner strength coming back but lost in the woods over what the ex has said. I did not previously say our ages but maybe it will help , I’m 39 & she is 46. I get that she is looking for a life partner and father for her daughter and I was happy.

      Now lost with her.
      Did I break NC with the voice message to her daughter?

    8. Ian

      April 22, 2017 at 3:05 pm

      Hi Amor, so yesterday I broke and asked if I could visit her, she asked why and I sent a voice message saying because she was worth fighting for, that I love her and miss her. No response so later that day I sent another voice message stating I was sorry for past experiences and for previous things that had happened and that I was looking forward to being a family and that I love her and her daughter and that I’m really missing them both and that she is well worth fighting for.
      I got a response from her today
      Ian I am turned off, desire is a fragile thing, I told you it turns me off when you drink, I told you many times, it’s an important thing to you, it makes me lose desire, to each his own, the boat incident killed most of it, then you had to drink all night when I broke my ankle, anyway, I care for you, I just lost interest.

      Feels like rock bottom, broken man

    9. EGR Team Member: Amor

      April 23, 2017 at 11:15 am

      oh no…you have to restart the count..

    10. Ian

      May 11, 2017 at 11:38 am

      UPDATE : I restarted the NC as you said.

      I also sought advice about my grief , depression, alcohol abuse and all the relationship issues and am happy to say I have accepted the way I behaved and treated the ex. They gave me some advice to send a message or speak with the ones you hurt closest to you.
      So I made a voice message stating I had accepted the loss of my father,that I had been resorting to alcohol. I apologised for hurting her and that I had not been open and honest to her about my feelings and just shut her out of my life. Said I am working on getting better from how I have been and acknowledged how much she tried to help me. Told them they mean the world to me but I can’t be there until I am better. So sang her daughter a lullaby as I said I wouldn’t be around to read any bedtime stories for a while. I love them both and miss them.

      So she responded asking if I was alright. I responded the next day saying , yes I am good thanks. She replied she was glad.

      12 hours passed and she sent me a message.
      Were you drunk when you recorded this?
      This shocked me and I didn’t respond to her consequently she blocked me on whatsapp on my main phone.
      I was so shocked I did respond and said, I wasn’t drunk. I am doing my best to fix myself after acknowledging my grief. Why would you say that?
      She read it and didn’t block me but didn’t reply also.

      So it’s now been 11 days of no contact and I have lost a lot of weight, running 5 times a week, eating healthier, got a new haircut today (looks awesome), spending time with friends and hanging out. One of the best things is that I haven’t touched any alcohol since 22nd April, I feel better for it.
      She still lives in my heart and my head but I am concentrating on myself and getting better and building my self esteem back up. I am not 100% yet but I am working on being a better man. A man that she and her daughter deserve.

      You mentioned about posting on social media, I didn’t understand what you meant by that if you could please elaborate would appreciate it.

      Also any more advice would be great.
      I guess the msg and responses to her count as a restart, so I am at 11 days but stronger this time.

    11. EGR Team Member: Amor

      May 12, 2017 at 6:42 pm

      posting in social media means posting in instagram or facebook of your activities..because that’s your indirect way of showing you’re moving on

    12. Ian

      May 15, 2017 at 12:48 pm

      Ok so all my running syncs to Feb and have been out a lot with friends and being tagged in pictures and things, I’m guessing that’s what you mean so I think I’m doing it right.

      Um I’m confused to your comment. I don’t want to show her I am moving on, I am deeply in love with her and her child, I want us to be a family and I want to get her back. Is this not about getting her to come back? She is as stubborn as they get. A very strong minded intelligent woman. She doesn’t want games. So I can categorically state that she will not initiate any contact

    13. EGR Team Member: Amor

      May 15, 2017 at 6:05 pm

      so you want her to think you’re chasing her?

    14. Ian

      May 16, 2017 at 11:51 am

      Thought women loved the chase of a man and I’m not her man I understand which really sucks.

      Have only been posting activities going out for dinner with friends, going to the cinema, what I’m listening to, how far I run, pictures jet skiing, new haircut picture, playing football (soccer) nothing petty to create a negative reaction.

      She really is the only woman I have ever felt like this for before in my life, I so believe and feel that she is the one.

      Just trying to do my best to improve myself and get past the man I used to be and put him into the past.

      It was over 3 weeks ago when we chatted on the phone and I finished our conversation with a question and said to her I am not the immature person she thinks I am and to give me a chance to show her and to prove to her that I am not that person.

      I am now nothing like that man before after getting help and dealing with my issues, I’m not a 100 yet but I am better man than I was, a better man for her and her daughter. I want to be the best version possible of myself.

      Your advice is greatly appreciated. The more the better.
      Thanks Amor

    15. EGR Team Member: Amor

      May 20, 2017 at 2:44 pm

      yes, we like it but you have to be distant for now to establish being an alpha male..

    16. Ian

      May 20, 2017 at 8:28 pm

      So she has been speaking with a mutual friend and he said that she was very angry but she was asking how I was.

      She was at the same place I was yesterday and I reached out to her by text after one of my friends was all on me to do it. She replied later that what we had was good whilst it lasted but it’s time to move on and that she’s moving on but wants to make sure I am in a good place. I will always be special and wished me the best

      This ripped me open again. Man I need to get back to being the alpha male that I used to be, never have I ever been like this in my past.

      What do I do now

    17. EGR Team Member: Amor

      May 22, 2017 at 4:02 pm

      you have to stop telling her you’re changing because it sounds chasing..that’s right go back to working on yourself to be the alpha male

    18. Ian

      May 22, 2017 at 8:06 pm

      Any other advice Amor? Is it a case of starting NC again? Annoyed at myself for getting talked into texting her. Thought I was stronger.

    19. EGR Team Member: Amor

      May 30, 2017 at 8:59 pm

      you cant do nc all the time..the more you do it, the less it helps.. just be more active in your own life.. establish you have your own life.

  14. Dylan

    March 24, 2017 at 6:49 am

    Me and my girlfriend have been together for two years and we just broke up we broke up because she said she was not in love with me no more but she still loved me and just needed time to figure her self out and wanted to be alone rn. We had an amazing relationship it’s just the fact the past six months has been fought with arguments and being assholes to each other and so one day she said it’s over she can’t be in that type of relationship anymore but I know she still loves me we still text but I need help on what to do should I do the no contact rule for a couple weeks and see what happens or what please help!

    1. EGR Team Member: Amor

      March 28, 2017 at 11:58 am

      Hi Dylan,

      try 30 days and be active in improving yourself.. dont just be silent.. be active in posting too

  15. Dylan

    March 24, 2017 at 6:41 am

    After 2 years of dating me and my girlfriend just recently broke up we have some bad arguing the past 6 months and it’s been rough and I told her that we would get threw it but things never got better and we had an argument and she said she was done that she loved me but wasn’t in love with me anymore but I have talked to her and she has said she wants space time to think for her to find her self I just really need help because I know she still loves me I just need to know what to do at this point.

    1. EGR Team Member: Amor

      March 28, 2017 at 11:58 am

      Hi Dylan,

      try 30 days and be active in improving yourself.. dont just be silent.. be active in posting too

  16. Brandon

    March 17, 2017 at 12:04 pm

    My now ex and I had been dating for 2 years she suddenly left with the excuse I love you but I’m not happy and can’t do this right now. I’ve taken the advice on here (to change my life have a better future and be successful and it’s helped me understand myself as a man better and be happy with myself) and as of recent she has begun stalking my every post on Snapchat after saying she never wanted to see or speak to me again. What does her new behavior mean and what does how she left me translate to the grand scheme of things?

    1. EGR Team Member: Amor

      March 27, 2017 at 2:48 pm

      Hi Brandon,

      she got interested in you.. how far are you in nc?

  17. Eric

    March 9, 2017 at 4:16 pm

    Ex and I had a real rough patch. Things happened and she left me. I had to pull teeth to get a yes or no. I told her I was fine and I’ll heal and I wasn’t mad at her or hated her. I actually told her I loved her and do see myself with her.
    She said she wanted space and find herself. The next day she opened up to her parents about her problems and she mentioned me that it helped her like she couldn’t believe. I’m happy for her..

    She still has my 2nd car key and house key. I told her if she wanted to move on, just bring it back, it is ok. But she’s still keeping it lol. It’s actually my birthday today and she has been texting me pretty good. She bought me a cake, gifts and even involved her 8 year old cousin that I also know.

    Now I know for a fact, if she didn’t want me orrreally wants me to move on, she wouldn’t of gotten her cousin involved. But she did.

    She’s still a little distant, not showing any emotions, but yet I get the quick nice hug….

    I don’t know what to think. Does she need to go through this knowing she wants to be with me,? I told her it was ok to move on and we will be ok, yet, here she still is..

    Should I just say that I love her, want to be with only her and break all contact until she’s wanting to have me? Or continue this level of communication with her?

    1. EGR Team Member: Amor

      March 20, 2017 at 4:31 pm

      Hi Eric,

      belated happy birthday! How are you now? why did you break up?

    2. Eric

      March 26, 2017 at 9:40 pm

      We finally broke up.

      Story is. We began dating. We had our up’s and downs. I noticed she was very jealous of me having other girls on Facebook etc.. So I kinda deleted them and reassured her nothing was happening. I’m seriously not that type. She never announced on Facebook that we were in relationship. She told me excuses of her exs family still on there and did not want to cause any drama.. I let it go… Spent the holidays with both families… Beginning of jJanuary, she saw a picture that I “liked” of a friend of mine.. She blew up.. Said she wanted to figure everything out.. I had to really talk to her and still reassure her… She said she wanted space. Do I gave her that.. We still talked and saw each other… Now by end of February, I had a gut feeling on looking on her Instagram and picked out the first guy I saw, and noticed 2 picturesof them ttogether. I immediately contacted him. He said he was seeing her and sleeping with her since January… She was telling him I was stalking her and etc.. I finally proved to him that we were still seeing each other and everything was fine.. So she lied to him… I approached her crying like a baby, didn’t get mad and told her I forgave her. I asked if she wanted to part ways or stay with me. I made it very clear either way, we’d be ok.. She decided to stay with me… It lasted a few days until she said if she were to invest a relationship with me, she would need to be happy with herself.. So we agreed to a no contact till we both wanted to see what we wanted. When she left the day after my birthday, i immediately noticed they added each other again.. From there iI didn’t care anymore… The no contact lasted a week until she contacted me again.. We drove around did fun stuff together and ended up sleeping with her again.. This time, I didn’t have any attachments… She was latterly back with the guy but still “with me”.. I asked her if she eventually thought ofbeing withme and she said yes! ThThat’s why she seem to want me around.. Anyways, 2 days later she still showed signs of jealousy and she said we should continue a no contact for now.. So I had to make her hate me cause the back and fourth wasn’t healthy for me.. So I contacted the guy and told him we still saw each other… He was in rage and disbelief.. She called me right away and said to never contact her again. She blocked me on everything. They are back together and I do know it’ll never last but I still don’t care…
      Question is, why did she want to still see me and keep me around? Do you think she’ll eventually try to contact me back in the future with her pattern? I don’t care anymore and not looking to go back with her. So many lies.

      Ohh and the reason she never showed relationship with me on Facebook is because she was talking to other guys saying she was single.

      A those jealousy moments but yet she was doing worst… I don’t understand.

    3. EGR Team Member: Amor

      March 28, 2017 at 12:31 pm

      because that’s what she’s used to do.. yeah, she may still try..are you going to do the no contact rule?

    4. Eric

      March 28, 2017 at 7:56 pm

      Im ffollowing the no contact rule.. Im finally happy alone.. Although I’d love to see her come back, it wouldn’t be good long term.. Gut feeling

  18. Aiden

    February 19, 2017 at 10:29 pm

    Hi there
    So my girlfriend (10 months) broke up around 3 weeks ago saying she didn’t feel it anymore. She coudln’t exactly tell me why she didn’t feel it anymore because a week before the break-up she was still very happy with me, I sensed that. I’m pretty sure that she broke up with me because I was a little too clingy, desperate and especially jealous on one of her closest guy friends (a lot of things happened between him and my girlfriend which made me jealous ex.This little swaggerboy had feelings for her and tried to kiss her but yet she remained friends with him and I didn’t like that at all, I told her to stop talking to him after that). Anyways, right after she said that she didn’t feel it anymore, I immediately started begging, crying and pleading.. ofcourse with no positive results. 4 days later she came over to talk about the break-up in person and when I kept asking “Please don’t leave me”, she answered by saying she couldn’t but neither gave me a reason why. When she was about to leave she asked me if she could hug me and started crying when she hugged me, which also made me cry. I kept making the same mistakes afterwards and kept begging for her to come back but it had no positive result (she even seemed to be a little annoyed sometimes so I stopped) . Later I came across this website and read an article about the ‘No Contact rule’ which I immediately applied afterwards, at the same time I started going to the gym more and focus more on work (It was hard). I also spoke to a friend of mine (who happens to be a mutual friend with my girlfriend) about my feelings and how much I miss her etc., and later found out that this guy told my girlfriend everything about how I feel and how much I missed her, so I also stopped talking about my feelings with this guy. So during the period that I actually went no contact I saw several pictures on social media were my girlfriend was hanging out with this guyfriend that I never trusted, but I tried to remain calm and say nothing about it.
    In the small time that I applied the no contact rule I’ve been thinking a lot about what went wrong in the relationship and saw that I should’ve not been so jealous and that this guyfriend could do nothing, and my confidence started growing back. Until Valentine’s Day came around the corner (it was 2 weeks of No Contact then)… she always told me how amazing it would’ve been if somebody ever send her a rose, and considering I was the only guy who knew… I put a rose in front of her door with a simple message and my name. In the message I said that I knew how much she would’ve loved it if I ever gave her a rose so I did it now, in the message I did not say any thing such as ‘I miss you or ‘Please come back’, I just kept it simple. Suddenly the same evening I got a message from her saying how cute it was and that it really made her day and that this guyfriend also send her something but that this rose was more special to her. After Valentine’s Day (which was on Tuesday), We had some light conversations (not about the break-up) in which I really made her laugh a lot and tried to be the guy from the beginning of our relation. Saturday we talked a little bit more and ofcourse I always make her laugh and I even send her a topless snap saying I just got back from the gym, (please don’t ask me why I send that) and she just randomly said that I looked reeeally good. So I thought she was getting a little flirty with me so I tried to flirt back but she didn’t really seem to respond positive on my flirting so I immediately stopped. In the afternoon she went to a small event and came home around 11:30pm and suddenly asked me if she could call me for some emotional support (she was scared of getting a nightmare when she’d go to sleep, I found it a rather weird excuse to call me but I didn’t say anything about it and we videocalled). We started talking about her nightmares but ofcourse there was not much I could help her with. Later she started saying how much she misses this and that about our relationship but always immediately adds “But yeah.. we just can’t be together anymore.” (we actually can, but I didn’t say that :p ).
    During our conversation I’ve avoided begging and crying but I did admit to her that I miss her a little. She then went to sleep and I said that she can always call me if she has any problems. The next morning (today) she thanked me for calling yesterday and that she slept really good. Today I tried talking to her again, and in the morning everything seemed to be fine. She told me she was gonna go for a walk with this one guyfriend and I was going to the gym. But when I tried to initiate a conversation with her after I went to the gym and after she went out with this guy, everything seemed different… Her answers were shorter and she was even less interested. It kinda gave me the feeling that this guy’s maybe having succes in stealing her heart… Everytime she’s been with her friends I got the feeling that this small amount of attraction she has for me, just dissapears because of her friends (and especially this one guy…) I seriously don’t know what to do. I got the feeling that if I stop talking to her, she won’t even care and just move on (maybe to this guyfriend, maybe someone else) and if I keep talking to her I don’t really get the feeling that I’m recreating the attraction again. Any advice? I don’t want to come over as a douchebag or something, but I am not ugly and would be able to get another girl so it’s not that I’m afraid of being alone.. She’s just been so special for me and I’ve never opened up to someone (not even my parents) like I have opened up to her. I don’t want anyone else… Just want her.

    1. EGR Team Member: Amor

      February 23, 2017 at 5:28 pm

      Hi Aiden,

      I think you need to restart the nc period and do at least 30 days and approach it like in this link:
      My Ex Girlfriend Dumped Me For Another Guy…

  19. Alexandro Tachyani

    February 3, 2017 at 11:08 pm

    My wife told me we should devorce because she isn’t happy anymore and she would take some time to think about it. And after a month she said maybe it’s for the best she wasn’t actualy sure about herethe desicion. And the a few days later I found some quotes on her I-pad, that she thinks about someone all day and that she has ineprotriate toughts about him… so I confronted her and she told me that she fell in love with her colleague or she has some feelingsof for him. And she has so much more in common than with me. And I did all of the stuff iyou begde and tried to reconsider and she cept seeing to me that what she felt for me it was some time gone and that’s why she fell inlove with someone else. Past few months she had a roughf time and I wan’t there for here and this guy was. So they have this connection.and we were married for 10 years. So after that I told her all my feelings and thougts and she said it’s to late now…
    So i’m doing the no contact now for 17 days. Ans she keeps ansking around how i’m doing, and also did some jealousy techniques. So is it worth it to do all of those steps in oure book or is it really to late?
    Your site helpt me allot, thank u for that. I have improved so much over these 2 and half weeks I feel much stronger and confident. I workt very hard, I lost 17 kg. I look and feel so good about my self. So I really wont to keep fighting for her. And she didn’t start a new relationship whit this guy, she not sure if shes gonna do it, but i’m sure she probebly wil after she processed our break up.
    Can u give me some advice?
    Thanx in advance

    1. EGR Team Member: Amor

      February 4, 2017 at 2:08 pm

      Hi Alexandro,

      do you have a child together? when did you actually break up? do you live together?

    2. Alexandro

      February 5, 2017 at 8:03 pm

      2 and a half months ago, she said she needed some time to think things thrue, and after 3 weeks she said she didn’t missed me and thinks this is the best desicion for her. That she wasnt happy in our relationship the last 2 or 3 years and that she has developte feelings for someone else who understands her and they have so much incommen. We have a litlle daughter she just had her first bithday. And i’m now on day 19 od the no-contact. And we don’t live togheter sinds she said she needed some time.

    3. EGR Team Member: Amor

      February 6, 2017 at 12:48 am

      ok.. Im sorry to hear that.. I think you should follow the advice on this one but because you have a child, do minimal contact but only talk about the child..
      My Ex Girlfriend Dumped Me For Another Guy…

    4. Alexandro

      February 7, 2017 at 9:47 am

      So should I still say that im an idiot for letting her go aftet the no contact. And tell her that I agree whith the break up so she would put her defenses down. And wait again two weeks and then start with the textes… or should I just let it go? She said to a friend she wil always care about me but the relationship is over. Do I have even a chance to change her mind. She is not in a relationship with this guy, yet! So should I take a slow approuch or not wait to long?

    5. EGR Team Member: Amor

      February 8, 2017 at 1:10 am

      for me you should just do no contact and instead of trying to convince her with words, act more like you’re moving on

    6. Alexandro

      February 9, 2017 at 5:55 pm

      We went today to apply for our divorce. I acted a litlle bit nerveus. So she askd me how I was doing, I said fine. I didn’t brought up anything about our relationship. She was only asking questions.But I see she still care about me. She askd me about the parties I went and said it was good. She looked alot at me to se my reactions, but I avoided eye contact most of the time. She looked she lost some weight and she looked that she is dooing fine with out me. When it all was over she asked me again if i was ok.It was like she wanted something from me or she expected a farewell or a hug but I just said I have to go and we smiled at each other and we left. Did I brake the no contact in this situation, should I start again 30 days?
      I haid one week to go.
      She was also asking friends how I was doing, and I saw she checks everything I post on facebook. I still think she isn’t totally over me, but she convinced her self that this is the best for both of us to separete.

    7. Alexandro

      February 9, 2017 at 8:14 pm

      Today we went to apply for our divorce, she asked me how I was doing I said i’m fine. She also asked a friend a few times how i’m doing. So this was the first time we sow each other on day 23 of no contact. I tried to keep it only about the divorce but she kept asking me question about my parents, and about the parties I went hiw it was. So did I brake the no contact rule here. When we finished thrue the divorce apply, we went outside and she asked again if I was ok. So I said I was fine, and she looked at me if she wanted a hug or a farewell, she tought I would say something. But I stoid my ground and said i’m going to leave, and we smiled at eachother and walked away. Afterthat she called my friend if he could come over. Because I told my friend that he should say to here that I have some big news, and she was so courios and she wanted to know what it was. And she even said he probebly has a new girlfriend and she was a litle bit nervous. So she clearly isn’t over me. So telling her that i’m ok and talking about my parents and other stuff…did I brake the no contact rule? Should I do maybe another 2 or 3 weeks or even 4 weeks?

    8. EGR Team Member: Amor

      February 9, 2017 at 10:38 pm

      I don’t think you did because from how you said it, it looks like you kept is short and polite.

    9. Alexandro

      February 12, 2017 at 2:46 pm

      So at the end of the NC I wil have to start with the texting, but we are in the middle of our divorce. Is it not a bit akward moment to start contacting her? Because we wil be bought emotional. Should I wait after we signed the papers. It take a week or two. And I have one week left of NC. Maybe prolonged it after we signed, and then a week after start with contacting her?

    10. Alexandro

      February 13, 2017 at 7:46 pm

      And should I play the jealousy card in this situation. I told my friend if she calls, he is going to say that he thinks that i’m maybe seeing someone but he is not sure…

    11. EGR Team Member: Amor

      February 15, 2017 at 2:33 pm

      I think you need to prolong the no contact period and just continue improving yourself but not use a very obvious jealousy tactic. Just keep improving yourself. Go out with friends, go out with your child, be active.

    12. Alex

      March 5, 2017 at 6:51 pm

      So, I saw her yesterday and we were bouth exited to see each other. She said that I look so good, so we talked a lot about what’s goin on in our lives. She also told mee that she is like falling in love with here co-worker, now that some times pased here feelings grew even more towards him. She also saw my changes that I made, and she said also that i’m so understanding about the situation. I said that i’m ok with the situation, that she is in love. And that my feelings for her also changed and that I’m not inlove with here. It was just the feeling of losing some. So she thinks that I let her go, and that i’m moving on and just want to be friends with her. She also compered me with him, that he agrees on everything with her but that I am also now doing that and I think that now she is seeing what she can have with me.
      Also that we now can talk with each other like never before, our communication is improved alot. And I still feel this kind of tension between us, and she was also looking in my eyes like she used to from one eye to another. So she said that she is impressed with me. She hasn’t started a relationship with this guy yet, because she’s not ready yet, she’s working on our breakup.And that our divorce is done that we can feel like more to move on. So I wont give up on here, i’m gonna keep improving my self, but as u can see the guy isn’t a rebound, it’s more…
      Was it okay of me to say that I don’t have feelings for here, and that I agree about the break up. Like i’m moving on. But it doesn’t look good for me, she is inlove…

    13. Alex

      March 9, 2017 at 9:25 am

      So I saw her after 7 weeks NC, and it was great. We talked and she saw the changes that I made. We connected, it was great and then she told me that during my NC she fell more inlove with her co-worker. They can have a great talk with each other, but now also with me. She compered me with him. So what’s the plan here?

    14. EGR Team Member: Amor

      March 18, 2017 at 4:04 pm

      she said she can see a future with you right? Thats5 a good sign.. that means she’s starting to believe youre5 moving on and improving..so, now there’s that feeling of regret from her and hope too because she can see you’re really changing..just keep improving and slowly build rapport now..

  20. Matt

    February 2, 2017 at 10:43 am

    So, I’ve probably done all mistakes possible since the breakup. Tried to talk about it, using logic, let my pain show, etc.
    An important detail is that we can’t see each other often. She seemed pretty much in love during our last trip together and then overnight she started to act weird then finally told me she loved me but wasn’t feeling attracted. But she showed such genuine suffering and will to try and understand herself and salvage the relationship that it made me wait for her to think it through. During that “waiting time” we were acting normally, making plans… And I thought everything was okay again. But then after some months she said she really doesn’t want a relationship.
    We kept in touch and that’s when I made all the mistakes I mentioned. As explanation she said she wants to taste other things and cannot see me as something other than a friend now. (Nice!)
    I tried to remind her on how good and fulfilling our relationship was , how much in love she was and what a big mistake we could be making by not even trying harder because sooner or later I’ll have to be moving on. As a result, she has agreed to go on a trip with me (although only after some months so I’m afraid it’s the hot, cold procedure) and we even flirt often, but she lets me know once in a while that she doesn’t know if something romantic is going to happen between us during the trip. She says what she is feeling is a mystery to herself too. But she knows my intentions, I’m not pretending to be okay with mere friendship.
    Anyway, she counts on me for support and looks for me. I don’t give her a lot of my time anyway but we text often. .Should I somehow switch to no contact? How to make it less abrupt? Maybe I should talk to her and say it’s not working for me? I mean, she is open to getting to know guys when she goes out (which I’m pretty sure didn’t happen YET) and this bothers me, obviously. I’m free too but I don’t want to date other girls.
    So, it’s pretty messed up and I can’t even realize if I’m still doing something really wrong. And I probably am. Any advice? Thanks a lot

    1. EGR Team Member: Amor

      February 3, 2017 at 12:13 am

      Hi Matt,

      just tell her the current situation is not working for you..that’s it. do no contact..

  21. KK

    January 25, 2017 at 8:47 pm

    So I’ve got a strange situation (to me at least). Girlfriend broke up with me recently but I never got a clear explanation, other than she wasn’t sure if she wants a relationship right now. This came out of no where, honestly. Everything was great and then this hit me out of the blue. During our talk she was very emotional, crying quite a bit and telling me that she still loves me so much, all of it. A couple days later she messages me saying she hasn’t moved on and we agreed to talk that week. We talked in person for about an hour and she started to cry again saying she still loves me, misses me, and loves being with me but still thinks she doesn’t want a relationship right now.

    She kept talking about how she could see us together in the future and kept telling me she still loves me which makes all of this confusing. I haven’t talked to her since then and have had a hard time not doing so because of not only what she said, but the emotion she has shown in the process. Advice? Is this one of those situations where I shouldn’t go through with no contact or should I continue that? I am honestly so confused about the entire situation that it has my head all over the place.


    1. EGR Team Member: Amor

      January 25, 2017 at 10:13 pm

      Hi kk,

      bottomline, she doesn’t want a relationship. If you’re going to guve her the benefits without the commitment then all the more that she wouldn’t

    2. KK

      January 25, 2017 at 10:29 pm

      What do you suggest I do then? Is there anyway to salvage this and get her back? All of this came up in literally a week (or so she says). Do I stick with no contact and text her after awhile or is this completely a lost cause? I just don’t understand her being so emotional, telling me how much she loves me and misses me, etc… if she is positive this is what she wants.


    3. EGR Team Member: Amor

      January 26, 2017 at 1:36 pm

      stick with no contact..improve yourself
      so, you have a higher chance of her realizing she can lose you if she doesn’t commit

    4. KK

      January 26, 2017 at 2:18 pm

      Okay, so she ended up sending me a message last night about something that happened at work, I’m assuming I shouldn’t respond at all? The whole thing with no contact is that it’s hard for me to ignore her because I feel like it’s just going to makes things even worse if I do so. Am I wrong?

    5. EGR Team Member: Amor

      January 26, 2017 at 2:39 pm

      it is hard..it is easier said than done.. if you want, give her a “closure” message..tell her the current situation is not working for you, and you need space to heal and move on…and then do nc.. just dont tell her how long you’re going to do nc

    6. KK

      January 26, 2017 at 4:04 pm

      So this is the best possible way to have a chance at getting her back? I guess I am stuck on her saying she still loves me and being so emotional the when we got together to talk last Thursday. Does that mean anything? She usually isn’t emotional at all, other than Saturday and Thursday (day we broke up and a day she wanted to talk) I have never seen her cry in our relationship. I appreciate all your help.

    7. EGR Team Member: Amor

      January 27, 2017 at 8:08 am

      yeah because even if she says that if she doesn’t want to get back together then that means she’s just keeping you at arm’s length

    8. KK

      January 29, 2017 at 9:54 pm

      How long do you suggest doing no contact for? She broke it off on the 14th of this month and aside from meeting once in person and talking for awhile the only contact that has been made is by her. I haven’t initiated anything between us.

    9. EGR Team Member: Amor

      January 30, 2017 at 3:50 pm

      at least 30 days…but you have to start the count after this because the past days were not focused in improving yourself

    10. KK

      January 30, 2017 at 4:20 pm

      So a total of 50+ days? I recall reading through the article that you don’t want to wait too long to try and re-initiate contact as it could hurt you more than help you, is that true? Waiting almost two months isn’t too long? When you say focus on improving myself, what exactly are things you’re referring too? Making myself move on?


    11. EGR Team Member: Amor

      January 31, 2017 at 4:56 pm

      if you didn’t improve yourself, it’s not going to help you too because there’s no change to attract her.. The improvements is the most important aspect of nc. You have to improve the health, wealth and relationship aspect of your life.
      and she already said she doesn’t want to get back together, staying after that means you’re non-verbally saying,”ok,I’m still here because maybe you’ll change your mind.” It eases her because even if she doesn’t want you back, of course it feels good to continue to have someone admire you and be there for you.. space creates desire, desire helps in attraction..and check this too;
      How To Make Your Ex Girlfriend Attracted To You Again

    12. KK

      January 31, 2017 at 9:26 pm

      That all makes sense too me which I have been trying to get more balance in my life with those three. Health has always been a strong suit of mine as I am always physically active and working out. I have a great career and well paying job, I guess balance between the three is perhaps what I need most. I know this isn’t a guarantee in any aspect, but how successful is this stuff? Have you had a lot of cases where people have gotten their ex back? I hear so much mixed info on the internet it is sometimes hard to know what to believe.

      Of course I want her to desire me and want me, we didn’t have a bad breakup which is why I think this is salvageable. The whole thing boils down to her telling me that she still loves me, misses me when she doesn’t see me and enjoys being with me. So I don’t know what in her mind is outweighing those feelings. Thanks again for your help.

    13. EGR Team Member: Amor

      February 1, 2017 at 4:05 pm

      yes, there are success stories. Did she lose trust in you?

    14. KK

      February 1, 2017 at 5:17 pm

      No, I do not believe she lost trust in me, at all. Sure there were things about our past neither of us had discussed with one another but we always knew we could if we wanted too. She just emphasized that what’s important is now and that we didn’t have to talk about our past if we didn’t want too. I’m sure eventually everything would’ve been discussed but we were only 7 months in.

      On a side note, she was often very insecure with herself. I am very fit and stay active where with her work schedule and everything she wasn’t as much (which never bothered me) but I could tell she wasn’t very confident in herself. She would often ask why I am with her when there are all these other women out there I could have, etc…etc…I just reassured her of my decision and everything. Do you think her insecurities had anything to do with this at all?

      Thanks again.

    15. EGR Team Member: Amor

      February 2, 2017 at 10:45 pm

      if that’s the case yes, it could be her insecurities.. She could have been jealous or felt you gave her less attention..

    16. KK

      February 3, 2017 at 2:25 pm

      If it is her insecurities, is me giving her no contact going to actually help that or hurt it more? If she for whatever reason felt jealous or so insecure that she thought she needed to do this what can I do to help with that? I always reassured her when she would ask those things that I am with her for a reason but she would always continue to ask them.

      Thanks again.

    17. EGR Team Member: Amor

      February 3, 2017 at 10:45 pm

      frankly speaking you cant control her.. An insecure person will always feel she’s not enough no matter what you do. She has to learn to build her self esteem..The best you can do is not do things that are wrong and to reassure, which you said is what you’re doing. Does she know that she has to change that? If she does and she chose not to change it, then it will depend on your standards now if you still want to stay with her..

    18. KK

      February 5, 2017 at 3:51 pm

      I’m not trying to control her and don’t want too, I was just wondering if I could help her at all with it. You’re right, I have been reassuring her, when we were together. How do I do it now if I am supposed to be doing no contact ? I want to reach out to her so badly that it’s eating away at me.


    19. EGR Team Member: Amor

      February 6, 2017 at 12:33 am

      you reassured her before? then that means she really doesn’t want to change. You did it and it wasn’t enough right? What difference will it make if you try to keep doing it at a time when she doesn’t want you to do it? If you’re thinking that what she wants is for you to chase, then talk to her but keep in mind and ask yourself, are you always going to do that to keep the relationship afloat? Let’s say, this is the last chance, talk to her, if she wants you back, tell her she needs to build her self esteem..If she doesn’t want you back, then decide if you want to restart nc or move on

    20. KK

      February 6, 2017 at 3:08 pm

      Correct, I often reassured her and told her why I am with her and why a chose her since she seems to think she is less desirable than other women. After I told her things she would seem to be better but those insecurities would pop up again at a later point in the relationship. I have no problem giving her reassurance and insecurity in her isn’t a turn off for me. I honestly don’t know what she wants I am trying to figure that part out since I was never given a concrete answer. All I have to go off of is that she loves me, misses me and enjoys seeing me but doesn’t know if she wants a relationship right now.

      I don’t want to break NC too soon but I also don’t want to necessarily wait to long and lose my opportunity because of that as well. Whether or not this means anything, she is always looking at my stories on Snaptchat when I post them, I don’t do it to make her jealous or rub it in her face that I am out doing something and she doesn’t have to look at them if she doesn’t want since it’s out there for everyone to see. My question is, if I break NC at 30 days, I don’t even know what to say. I read the texting my ex article but I don’t know if I should take that approach or just try and get some answers from her, thoughts?


    21. EGR Team Member: Amor

      February 6, 2017 at 7:50 pm

      try to build rapport first..it would be better to talk about those stuff personally when youve built enough rapport

    22. KK

      February 6, 2017 at 9:18 pm

      So send her something that reminded me of us or her or an event we went to or something we did together to built rapport and then go into the more personal stuff?


    23. EGR Team Member: Amor

      February 8, 2017 at 12:54 am

      you mean to use as a first contact text, yes but keep the fun topics in the succeeding texts..when you get to the hang out phase, that’s when you talk about the personal stuff

    24. KK

      February 8, 2017 at 4:25 pm

      Okay, that makes sense. I was just going to tell her something that reminded me of her/us for the first contact and then slowly work back into things and of course talk about the personal stuff for when we meet together.

    25. EGR Team Member: Amor

      February 8, 2017 at 7:49 pm

      ok, that’s good!

    26. KK

      February 12, 2017 at 4:19 pm

      Well, I sent her a text yesterday about something that reminded me of her and what we enjoyed doing together. She never sent a response…which confused me a bit as she had been randomly messaging me the first 3 weeks after this all happened. We didn’t have a bad breakup at all and even when we met up the following week to talk in person she still told me she loved me, missed me, all of it.

      What do you suggest I do now ? It was a pretty big blow to me to not get a response back, yet.


    27. KK

      February 13, 2017 at 3:51 pm

      Okay, so she actually ended up sending me a text last night while I was asleep in response to my initial one and then asking how i’ve been. I’ve definitely been doing better but I don’t know if I should say I’ve been doing pretty good, or I’ve been alright, or not talk about my feelings at all and just talk about what I’ve been up too. Thoughts?

      Thanks Amor

    28. EGR Team Member: Amor

      February 15, 2017 at 2:37 pm

      it’s ok to say you’re doing good but what’s more important is you make the text conversational. Better if it’s about her.

    29. KK

      February 15, 2017 at 7:03 pm

      Well we had a short conversation on Monday 2 texts each and then that’s where it stopped. I didn’t talk to her yesterday and not sure if I should wait one more day or text her today. I kept it about her, we went back and forth a bit, she asked how I am doing, what I’ve been up too, I reciprocated by asking her about an event she did a few weeks ago and that’s where we left off. How long between texting again do you think I should wait?

    30. EGR Team Member: Amor

      February 16, 2017 at 11:01 pm

      if it’s positive texts, it would be better to text daily and then have breaks like the tide theory. It would only change if you think she is getting bored and if are going to transition to calls.

    31. KK

      February 17, 2017 at 4:45 pm

      We texted again last night, it was a longer conversation, very upbeat and positive. She was also giving lengthy responses and seemed to be very invested in our conversation. Do you think I should text her again today, then? Seeing as how our interactions have been getting better and better each time we talk?

      Thanks again

    32. KK

      February 17, 2017 at 4:55 pm

      I should mention that she ended the conversation last night (no response) after we had talked for an hour. Should I still re-initiate contact again, or wait since I didn’t actually get the chance to end it?


    33. EGR Team Member: Amor

      February 17, 2017 at 10:54 pm

      YOu mean you texted twice that day? That’s ok if you did.. you don’t have to text her again immediately just to have to end it yourself. Just make up in the next conversation.

    34. KK

      February 18, 2017 at 3:06 am

      Should I move to texting her daily since the conversations have been positive ? Or should I still stick with the tide theory, but maybe alter it and not take as long of a break between days ?

      Thanks again

    35. KK

      February 21, 2017 at 1:03 am

      Well she didn’t respond to my text I sent on Saturday but the last conversation we had on Thursday was great. Do you suggest I wait a few days before I text her again ? Or keep trying to start one ?

    36. EGR Team Member: Amor

      February 23, 2017 at 1:52 am

      Hi Kk,

      sorry for the late reply.. yes, wait for a week before trying again.

    37. KK

      February 23, 2017 at 2:00 pm

      What should I send to her when I text her after the NC ? I don’t know if I should just do what I have been or go the route of telling her I have to tell her something. What do you think ?


    38. EGR Team Member: Amor

      February 23, 2017 at 8:02 pm

      you have to use a topic that she finds interesting to talk about, if what you’ve been up to lately is interesting for her, that’s ok to use as a topic.

    39. KK

      February 23, 2017 at 9:10 pm

      It had been what we were talking about, more than anything. I just always feel like I need to intertwine it with her, too. I’m still not sure why she suddenly stopped responding though. We had great conversations where she was sending positive responses..any idea why she would go quiet randomly ?

      Thanks again

    40. EGR Team Member: Amor

      February 24, 2017 at 4:39 pm

      It can be because she thinks it’s moving too fast or too much too soon.

    41. KK

      February 24, 2017 at 11:57 pm

      Yeah, that makes sense now that you mention it, even with positive texts from her I could see how she still needs to ease into it, possibly even more than the tide theory.

      What do you suggest I send her for a text ?


    42. EGR Team Member: Amor

      February 25, 2017 at 11:35 pm

      list the topics she likes to talk about, and then use those. Ask, share information about it.

    43. KK

      February 28, 2017 at 2:26 pm

      Well I sent her a text, no response yet, though. I can’t imagine she just all of the sudden hates me after we were having good text conversations a little over a week ago.

      Any ideas why she would go quiet all of the sudden ? What should I do if she doesn’t respond to this one ? I don’t think she blocked my number or anything since she hasn’t on anything else.

      Thanks again

    44. EGR Team Member: Amor

      February 28, 2017 at 10:30 pm

      Give it a rest for 1 or 2 days and start another one.. If she continues to do that, either you stop and move on or rest for two weeks and try for the last time. She might be confused.

    45. KK

      March 1, 2017 at 6:31 pm

      That makes sense, it’s been a few days but I’m wondering if I should wait a few more. She is going on a trip to Europe with her parents and I believe they left yesterday if I remember correctly so I don’t know if I should wait for her to get back or try my luck while she’s there, anyways.

      I’m not really sure what it is about her, but I don’t want to give up, at all. When you say she might be confused, what are you referring to ? Her feelings towards me ?

      Thanks again

    46. EGR Team Member: Amor

      March 1, 2017 at 11:36 pm

      Yeah, she might be unsure about her feelings for now.. but just go slow. As you build more rapport, she’ll be more comfortable with you. If you want, just initiate one time to test how she will reply while she’s there.

    47. KK

      March 2, 2017 at 6:55 pm

      Yeah, that makes sense, I’m not sure what to try and initiate with anymore though. I feel like I should ask her if we’re still good to talk/text but I don’t know if that sounds bad or not. I have plenty of subjects we can talk about I’m just not sure since she hasn’t responded in about a week since we last spoke.

      What do you think ?

      Thanks again!

    48. EGR Team Member: Amor

      March 3, 2017 at 12:57 am

      Just be patient for now.. Asking if you’re good to talk, is like asking for permission. It would be better to assume she’s ok with talking since she’s not saying that she isn’t.

    49. KK

      March 3, 2017 at 1:06 pm

      I never thought of it that way..I don’t want to sound like I’m asking her permission because you’re right, she never said she didn’t want to talk. When you say be patient, do you mean not to text her or just send something and be patient for a response ?

      Thanks Amir, I appreciate all of this

    50. KK

      March 3, 2017 at 1:07 pm


    51. EGR Team Member: Amor

      March 4, 2017 at 12:40 am

      You’re welcome! Oh I mean be patient with her responses..

    52. KK

      March 8, 2017 at 3:28 pm

      Well, I sent her a message and we ended up talking for almost 2 hours. Unfortunately, I haven’t gotten a response since my last message about 20-30 minutes ago so now I’m just kinda stuck waiting. If I don’t end up hearing from her should I wait a day and send her something on Friday or just reach out to her again tomorrow ? She seemed even more talkative this time but again randomly stopped after awhile.


    53. KK

      March 10, 2017 at 7:24 pm

      Amor, just checking to see if you’ve had a chance to read my last reply? We had another good conversation, but I’m not sure how long to wait between..it’s been one day so far.

      I also want to point out that she has started sending me snap chats again which hasn’t happened since we were together, so I think that’s a good sign, too.

      Thanks again

    54. EGR Team Member: Amor

      March 19, 2017 at 12:28 pm

      yes those are all good signs.
      keep it up but dont make the conversations too long. End it at high point.. you can initiate again the next day. Try the tide theory

    55. KK

      March 22, 2017 at 5:23 pm

      Well, I waited a couple of days and sent her another message, but haven’t gotten a response and it’s been a week now. This is so confusing too me, she goes from fully invested in our conversation to not responding. Then, if I wait a week or so she ends up responding again. I don’t know if things are still to frequent for her or what…

      I am either going to try again this week or give it one more and see if I hear back from her. I would understand if she was giving me negative responses or none at all, but to go from good to nothing to good to nothing, makes no sense.

      What do you think ?


    56. EGR Team Member: Amor

      March 28, 2017 at 11:04 am

      yes, you can try that

  22. dan

    January 17, 2017 at 5:57 am

    What if part of the reason you are no longer together is that you were not that emotionally supportive and she stopped telling you stuff for a while

    1. EGR Team Member: Amor

      January 17, 2017 at 10:34 pm

      Hi Dan,

      and then after that, did you talk on working out the relationship before breaking up?

    2. dan

      January 19, 2017 at 2:04 am

      no, i did after we broke up, and i was better at the very end, but still part of why she left, she never started talling me things before leaving

    3. EGR Team Member: Amor

      January 25, 2017 at 6:23 pm

      then that means she doesnt want to talk..better proceed to no contact rule

  23. Josh

    January 8, 2017 at 5:42 am

    Ok! So my GF of 4 yeara decided it was time for her to move on a few days ago. Weve had a rough year due to a combination of my pressure at work (tour guide, unsociable hours) and her not feeling the love and affection that she requires in a relationship. She has made it clear that she no longer wants to be together. I also felt the same way….that was until it actually happened!!! Id even made plans to move out on a trial basis because of our arguments about nothing and the fact that it seemed like I was more interested in going out for drinks with the guys after qork than I was spending time with her. God do I regret that type of behviour now! I went through so much crqp during our RL. She is 8 years older at 36 I am 28. Which means kids sooner than i expected. Second, her ex bf of 7 years id also still one of her closest friends who she still plays music with. I was uncomfortable with this for a while but I learnt that it had nothing to do with us and she had no romantic feelings for him. Thirdly, since I am on a resident or citizen of her country I had to move aborad to be with her. Now she is ending things b4 the visa has come to fruition which means Ive stayed here all for nothing…i.e. a career Ive no interest in continuing, a failed RL of 4 years and not even a passport to show for it in order to continue my life here. I am very close to using blackmail as a way to xonvince her to stay with me but she is my best friend whom I want to be with and I dont wqnt to turn things bitter between us. I made some massive mistakes by kissing her friends (consentual on a group holiday). I beat myself up for it for months and was unable to forgive myself which did not help me out at all but at least I learnt my lesson. I feel like I’m being punished for trying to make a life. I am still in full contact but as friends. She says she still loves me but that we cant be together. She has a point, I always complained about home and about how unhappy I was. I dont blame her for thinking Im not right for her, its just that now Ive come to realize that now shes gone I have nothing left. She means everything, shes the reason im here and put up with so much crap in my life with work etxc. I realize now that she isnt the reason why im so unhappy. I didnt let her love make up for the bad things in my life. I blamed her for not wanting to change things myself. Im going to dinner with her and some friends 2nite. Im going to tell her all this again and tell her I love her. Perhaps its a mistake. Shes moved on. Shes done the one thing I thought neither of us could actually do.

    1. EGR Team Member: Amor

      January 9, 2017 at 10:04 am

      Hi Josh,

      so what happened in the dinner?

  24. rk

    January 2, 2017 at 11:18 pm

    I was in a relationship for more than 2 years. But few moths ago she kept a distance from me because she thought I wasn’t give any importance in the relationship. But we were still in the relationship. But it was about to get better till she choose to breakup with me. We were in a very strong relationship though there was fight every now and then. But we couldn’t live without each other. But now she don’t even want to give a chance to the relationship. She said that she still love me but she want to be free from any relationship. She says she will be always with me but as a friend. But she will never consider to be in a relationship with me again. She has moved on. But I am still in the same place. What should I do to get her back and stay happily together as earlier? Suggest something, anything.

    1. EGR Team Member: Amor

      January 4, 2017 at 6:47 am

      Hi Rk,

      do you want to try the advice above? are you going to do the no contact rule?

  25. Masoud

    December 31, 2016 at 3:50 pm


    I am 22 years old and was dating my ex girlfriend for around 1 1/2 years. I am a medical student in my second last year and will be graduating in summer 2018. I study in Poland currently and my ex girlfriend graduated from the same program this summer and moved back from Poland to Sweden to start working there. She is 2 1/2 years older than me and me and her share the same ethnic origin. I am from Germany and only went for my studies to Poland . I told her that I want a long distance relationship till I can move after I finish my studies to Sweden and build up a life with her there. She ended the relationship because she didnt see me and her in the future and because she was not “crazy in love ” with me and also because of the age difference i would say. She said we are on diferent levels od our lifes and that it is better to end the relationship. So we broke up in August but were still in regular contact . I visited her twice in Sweden and we had a good time and it was like we were still together and had sex aswell . These three months between August and November after the break up felt like we were still together what we bth agreed on. In November in my last visit in Sweden she told me that she “officially” wants to end it and that we should be in contact for a while ( she said 3-4 months…). It was hard but i agreed. I know she loves me but i guess it was not enough…

    I did the NC rule for 30 days. On day 25 she messaged me if I am ok but i replied 4-5 days later. We had a little conversation but it died eventually. A few days later after there was an terror attack in Berlin (where i live) she messaged me again if i am ok and we had a little chat which was not to long and a bit formal. Then she messaged again and we had a longer chat and she was carrying the conversation more than me, asking more question and being very interested etc. Then another conversation which went good she just wrote at the end ” I wish you all the best for your future and your medical career etc…” Did she write that to turn me off or what…it was so random and didnt even match the conversation. All those conversations were started by her. Then I also started messaging her first and stuff. But overall the last 2 weeks we have been in contact she mostly messaged me first.

    After the first conversations where both of us were maybe still a bit shy and kept it a bit formal we both got comfortable very quickly again and started texting more and longer. I also ended conversation on the high point . I was there for her when she wanted to talk about topics that make her sad and emotional ( like its described in the texting bible, which i purchased beside the ex girlfriend recvovery premium package..). Then she starts writing messages like “Im thinking about you..” or “You are on my mind…” and stuff like when she was in a restaurant we both went to she would write ” I wish you were here. Your spot is empty..” Then we started texting each other flirty and almost some kind of light “sexting” where things got very romantic. So far things were going very good and it was a good vibe in those messages and I got happy and I told her that she was on my mind lately . She replied with ” I am happy that I have someone like you that is there for me and i can talk to, regardless the fact what me and you are right now ( i guess she is referring to the relationship status…) ” This made me slightly upset to be honest because i feel like i got labeled just as a “friend” . Then later on she asked me if I think that she is a flirty person and i replied with I dont know and asker her why and she replied with ” she wants to become a more flirty person for the future . I guess this means she is looking for a man for the future…and then she told me to have fun with other girls…She is so sonfusing….on the one hand she tells me she thinks about me, misses me, messages me a lot about topics she wants to talk about and is getting flirty and is even newly sending me kiss face which we havent done since the break up and then she tries to “turn me off” by telling she wants to be more flirty ( with other guys..?) and tell me do have fun with other girls….

    What does this mean and what should I do and how should I proceed with this whole issue?

    1. EGR Team Member: Amor

      January 1, 2017 at 4:40 pm

      Hi Masoud,

      that means she still can’t see how it would work long distance.. maybe her love language is physical and quality time..and it can also mean she doesn’t see you mature enough for her..

      of I’m right, the best solution is to be closer.. if you can’t be closer, then you have to be less available and keep improving yourself to the point that she will regret losing somebody like you

  26. Al

    October 7, 2016 at 7:42 pm

    Hi i need help me and my girl of 11 months had a great relationship we had one lil rough patch for about a month when there was lack of affection and sex i thought we were over so i went on a dating site and found a girl talked to her for a few hours and then realized it was a mistake and just blocked her and forgot about it now two months later this person hit me up saying she knew my ex and either i tell her wat i did or she will. So i did i came clean i didnt have aex with didnt kiss her just talked briefly my girl just broke down and basically ended it she says she cant trust me but still says she loves me but she says her mind is made up can her mind be changed about getting back with me with time i need help she is the love of my life and i dont wanna let go idk what to do

    1. EGR Team Member: Amor

      October 15, 2016 at 7:51 am

      Hi Al,

      try doing the no contact rule and just focus in improving yourself

  27. Abhijeet Sanyal

    October 5, 2016 at 3:54 am

    I have been on no contact from 13th september. Though my ex has liked a few posts on Facebook there has been no signs of contact from her end. She met me once and spent the night with me and told me she misses me and loves me and then on 13th september she started acting a little cold by telling me she does not want to give me hopes. So i have been on no contact mode, on 23rd october is our anniversary. Is it a good idea to establish contact then because by that time I would have completed 40 days of not contacting her and since this day does hold emotional significance for both of us.

    1. EGR Team Member: Amor

      October 14, 2016 at 6:27 pm

      Hi Abhijeet,

      whyd did you break up? And are you actively improving yourself? Nope, it’s not a good idea, because if she doesn’t want to go back with you, she will probably avoid if she senses that you texted her because you remembered the anniversary.

  28. DQ

    October 2, 2016 at 6:11 pm

    Hi, Chris. I was too controlling of my girlfriend (almost 2 years in the relationship on November 26) and she was not able to bear it anymore, so she decided to break up with me. I blame her infidelity more than 2 years ago for my paranoia. When we got back together, I became kind of a control-freak because I did not want her to leave me again. But she thought that the things I did were too much and oppressive. She broke a promise almost 2 weeks ago now and I went ballistic and without intending to do it, I had embarrassed her in front of a few people when she was in a debate competition. Now, she would not talk to me and the last thing she said to me via email was that I should refrain from talking to her because it would enrage her all the more. I did not reply after that and it has been 1 week and 4 days. No communication whatsoever. Thanks! I hope you read my case.

    1. EGR Team Member: Amor

      October 14, 2016 at 6:27 pm

      Hi Dq,

      how are you now?