By Chris Seiter

Updated on July 9th, 2022

I think at some point in time every guy who has had to deal with a breakup will be faced with the question of whether they should just let go of their ex girlfriend.  Essentially, stopping all efforts to get your girl back.

And sometimes that is the most practical thing to do if you have exhausted all reasonable efforts (even a few unreasonable efforts) to get her back.  Sometimes it’s best to simply stop trying and end the relationship.

But how will you know if that time has arrived?  I mean, that’s a big question right?  “Should I give up on my Ex Girlfriend”?

I know most of you will fight it. This notion of just stopping or quitting and telling your ex girlfriend that you are over her, well, that is not an easy thing to convince yourself to do.

What Is Your Mindset When You Are Struggling With Whether You Should Stop Trying

You see, most guys, after a breakup, are wired to do everything they can think of to get her back. Your first reaction will be “I don’t want to give up if there is the slightest chance of us coming back together”.

And that is a good attitude to have. I have an outstanding Ex Recovery Plan you can tap into to help you with all of that!

But when is it overkill to think this way?

It can be perplexing, but often you may find yourself caught up in the middle of two competing thoughts.  One part of your mind may be telling there is still a chance, I’m not giving up unless I know for sure it’s over. The other side of the mind may feel at times terribly stretched by the frustration and disappointment you have endured. Just getting your ex girlfriend to show you something, anything to give you some hope that you still have a shot can be a cruel undertaking.

It’s the classic, should you keep trying to get your ex girlfriend back or simply move on.

Well, I am going to try and help you unravel what is best to do.  Here are 10 reasons or signs that may give you a good reason to move on for good, assuming that is ever such a thing.

I mean, sometimes we can move on, but not really completely let her go.  And perhaps that’s OK if you think that way.  You know, like leaving a little side door for her just in case things change.

But when it comes time to move on, don’t hang your hat on her coming back.  She probably won’t, at least not in the way you want her to.

I know this won’t be fun, but take my advice under consideration.  And you might find some surprising ideas in here to help steer you in the right direction.

10 Signs That It’s Time To Give Up Trying To Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back

lost in thought

So how long should you give your ex girlfriend that space she keeps asking for.  For some, it may be seem like an eternity. She keeps pulling away and you keep chasing.  Except you are not closing the gap.

Part of you can feel if it’s not working out.  Things may feel like they are going wrong.  But without seeing the big picture, it may still be difficult for you to know when to give up. Sadly, your discovery of when its time to end it, often comes after your ex girlfriend has already given up on any notion of getting back with you.

Now this does not always have to be the way things go down.  That is why I offer Coaching Services because sometimes it takes a personalized approach to get some progress with your ex.

If it does go south, it usually doesn’t happen overnight. Your ex girlfriend probably made up her mind in a series of fits and starts over a period of time.  Unfortunately, in some of these situations, you don’t get clued in on this reality until weeks or months later.

But if things go down this way, don’t blame her.  It’s just the natural push and pull of feelings and realizations.

So let’s get on with the Top 10 Signs (Reasons).  If you are going to stop chasing your ex girlfriend, let’s try to make sure whether it’s a lost cause or not.

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Girlfriend Back?

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1. Don’t Throw in the Towel Unless You Have Turned Over Every Stone To Restart the Romance

At some stage you will feel like you tried everything to get your ex gf back.  You would have read all the books, checked off all the Actions, even gotten some 1 on 1 Coaching, yet somehow it just has not come together. When you know in your heart that you have tried everything to get her back, then let that be your place of contentment.

Sometimes two people are just not compatible enough or sometimes this or that or dozens of other things can conspire to bring a relationship to a close.

It’s normal.  It happens every day.  It should never be looked upon as a failure, but rather a new beginning.

2. Give Up the Fight When Your Ex Girlfriend Has Become Engaged or Married

When you wake up to the news that your ex girlfriend is now engaged or if you finally accept that she is married and those vows are not going to be reversed, then if you have not accepted it fully, then I am here to tell you for your own sake that this Chapter in your life is over.  It’s time to write a new chapter.

3. End It For Good When The Number of Breakups Exceeds The Number of Months You Have Been Together

So let’s say you are one of those couples that just keep breaking up.  Over and over again. Perhaps you and your ex girlfriend are so accustomed to coming out and back into the relationship that it has become part of your own framework of conflict.

But the truth is that such a relationship is dysfunctional and likely doomed for more of these sudden breakups.

So if this describes your relationship, then it’s time to think seriously about getting out of it.

4. It’s Time to Make Your Exit When Your Ex Girlfriend Files a Restraining Order


Things can get pretty chaotic quickly when the divide between you and your ex girlfriend becomes so wide that she takes legal action to keep you at a distance.  Now I realize there are always exceptions.  Perhaps your girlfriend has a highly combustible personality and maybe she got some poor advice and somehow all of that led to a restraining order.   I won’t say that you are screwed forever if she sought legal action to keep you away from her.

But if you take a step back and examine the whole of the relationship, pursuing your ex girlfriend in an environment which makes her fear for her safety is inherently dysfunctional.

5. Look For Another Path When Your Ex Girlfriend Makes You Miserable Beyond All Description

Have you ever been in a middle of something and sort of lost your way.  It’s like not be able to see the forest for the trees.

Well, it’s very easy for you to get caught up in a negative cycle that just keeps repeating itself.  You may not realize it in the moment, but sometimes your own ego or stubbornness can stand in your way of seeing the bigger picture.

In other words, you can be stubborn to a fault such that you are needlessly obsessing over something that is not attainable.

6. Give Up On Your Ex Girlfriend When She Repeatedly Tells You It’s Not Working

Do you think you are a good listener?

Well some guys may think they are, but the truth is we are often geared to see and believe what we want to.  So sometimes it’s a good thing to slow everything down around you and pull back and take an objective look at what you ex girlfriend has been saying to you.

If she has been tell you repeatedly it’s not working and many months have gone by and still things have not improved and her feelings have not changed, it is probably time to start listening to her and believing her.

7. It’s Time To Call It Quits When She Has Permanently Ghosted You

One clear sign that she is over you is when your ex girlfriend ghosts you for a very long time.

I am talking many months.  If you keep reaching out in every way you can think and all you get is silence on all fronts, then you would be better served to fold your tent and move on.

8. It’s Time To End It For Your Own Sake When Your Partner, Her Family, and Friends All Tell You It’s Over

Part of understanding the big picture of whether you still have a chance with your ex is to solicit the input of others.

Now relying on family and friends is not always the most reliable gauge as to whether your should give her up.  They may care for you and tell you what they think is best for you, but their advice is not always spot on.

But when all the stars align and everybody you know and respect (family, friends, professionals in the field) along with your ex girlfriend tell you that it’s over….that its time to move on…. then you would be best served to listen to the consensus conclusion.

9. Stop Trying To Get Her Back If You Meet Someone New That You Really Like A lot

I know its hard to let go of someone you felt deeply attached to on many levels.  But not all relationships are meant to survive.  We can start them for the wrong reason and stay too long in the relationship when all signs point to a poor fit.

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Girlfriend Back?

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There is a part inside us all that can sense this, even though it’s easy to fall victim to our own delusions and lies.

But if you come to meet someone that is really special and you have been clicking with this new person on many levels, then it would be foolish for you to continue to hold on to a dream of the past when you have a real life living person wanting to explore the future with you.

10.  Let Go of Her When Your Mental and Physical Health Has Been Failing For Months

Breakups are hard to go through.  Part of the reason is the way they can affect you emotionally and physically.

A split up with your ex can  really can take a toll, causing you untold amount of stress.  When this goes on for an extended time, it can actually become very unhealthy for you.

Trust me, it is not worth suffering day in and day out if you have made every reasonable effort to save the relationship.  There come a time when you have to let your ex girlfriend go if all your efforts have come up short.

Not only are you continuing to cause unnecessary harm to yourself, but you are likely creating more stress and harm to the person you profess to care about.	

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