By Chris Seiter

Updated on November 14th, 2022

This is one of those situations that I get asked about all the time.

No seriously…

I usually get an email or comment like this,

“Hey man… I tried your strategies and they worked like gangbusters. So much so that we even kissed/made out. But that’s been it. She’s gone cold after that. What the heck do I do?”

I get about one or two of these types of situations PER DAY…

And I am not one to shy away when the writing is on the wall.

I think what we need to do here is dedicated a gigantic article to the situation so I can give you a specific game plan to follow that will hopefully lead you to success.

Hence, this page was created.

Now, I have a bit of good news and a bit of bad news.

What do you want first?

The good news?

The Good News

good news

You kissed your ex girlfriend.

That is absolutely phenomenal and I can’t really find any fault with that (assuming she kissed you back and didn’t pull away.)

I mean, do you know how many men come to Ex Girlfriend Recovery and can’t even advance to a point where they can see their ex girlfriends in person?

There is a reason for why I have only written a book on texting and not on “in person interactions.”

The Reason = Because most people screw up when texting and can’t even get to an “in person interaction.”

But here you are…

You HAVE seen your ex girlfriend in person and you have even gotten her to kiss you.

Now, don’t tell anyone else that I told you this but the fact that you have made it this far means that you are close. Your ex girlfriend may need a few extra pushes in the right direction to get her to fully commit to you.


Let me put it this way.

If you made me pick between the situation you are in versus someone who is just starting the “get your ex back” process I would pick yours every time.

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Girlfriend Back?

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So that’s the good news.

But I bet you were so worried about the bad news that you only half paid attention to what I was saying in this section, huh?

Ok, lets talk about the bad news.

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Girlfriend Back?

Take the quiz

The Bad News

bad news

Just because you kissed your ex girlfriend doesn’t mean that you are going to get her back. In fact, I have seen A LOT of men fail.


Because they get a big head and think they have conquered the world.

Look, even I am not going to deny that getting your ex girlfriend to kiss you is big but it doesn’t guarantee that you are going to get her back.

Don’t think that this is going to be easy because it’s not.

Getting an ex girlfriend back is kind of like trying to mine gold.

Now, I don’t know if you have seen this show but recently I have been watching a lot of this TV show called,

Gold Rush

Hence the weird analogy of comparing getting an ex back to mining gold.

Anyways, when I was watching that show someone said something that really stuck with me.

Gold is always trying to find a way to stay in the ground.

In other words, no matter what you do the gold is always wanting to go back to where it belongs, in the ground.

Wow, what a great analogy for getting your ex girlfriend back.

No matter how far you advance it isn’t over until the fat lady sings. Your ex girlfriend is always going to try to find a way to be free. So, don’t get a big head just because you got her to kiss you.

Is it a step in the right direction?


Does it mean that you are guaranteed to get her back?

Absolutely NOT.

Shifting The Way You Look At Kisses For Now


What I am about to tell you is going to be really difficult for you but it’s the philosophy that I want you to adopt until the moment you get her back.

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Girlfriend Back?

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Got it?

Alright, are you ready?

Getting a kiss from your ex girlfriend is the equivalent of a business transaction

It’s weird I know but I don’t want you to get too overly excited about your kiss and mess up all the progress that you have made.

Think of when you go to the McDonalds drive-thru.

It’s a business transaction.

You are hungry so you decide to pay McDonalds to make food for you so you aren’t hungry anymore.

You pay them money…

They give you food…

A kiss from your ex girlfriend is exactly the same.

You say or do something that makes her feel good and she gives you a kiss.

In other words, her kisses are like currency.

Now, here is where things get really interesting.

Our Goal Is To Get More And More “Currency”


Think of the people who own McDonalds.

Their entire job revolves around attracting more customers because the more customers they get the more money they get.

The same thing applies to me with this website.

The more website visitors I attract with my content the more money I will ultimately make.

Thus, the thing that McDonalds and I do is to make our products or brand recognition more and more powerful. McDonalds does it with catchy commercials and dollar meals.


Well, the only thing I have going for me is my content.

The better I make my content for you the more you will share it with others and the more you share it with others the bigger this website can get.

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Girlfriend Back?

Take the quiz

However, it’s ultimately all in pursuit of this “currency.”

At this point you may be asking yourself,

Ok… what does any of this have to do with me getting my ex girlfriend back?

I am glad you asked.

Do you remember above when I said that for you kissing is like currency.

Well, the more kisses you get from your ex girlfriend the more emotional credit you hold over her. Eventually if you get enough kisses you can “buy” her back.

I wouldn’t lie to you.

There is definitely a correlation between ex boyfriends who get lots of kisses and ex boyfriends who get their ex girlfriends back.

Thus, my goal with this entire guide is to show you what you can do to get more kisses and ultimately win your ex girlfriend back.

But First… Let’s Talk About “The Little Things”

little bit

This is going to sound really weird but bear with me here.

I was in bed trying to fall asleep and I had a thought.

I began thinking about how a lot of men have trouble with “the little things.”

Anyways, I found the thought so interesting that I figured I would get out of bed and start writing.

So here I am…

Writing away…

For you…

(You can clap now.)

Ok, the little things…

Lets say that you have a goal.

And that goal is to ultimately get back with your ex girlfriend. However, you can’t just snap your fingers and make it happen.

No, there are a little of little things that happen along the way.

Well, I would say that 95% of the time that men fail to get their ex girlfriends back isn’t because they lack the motivation or the ability. It’s because they want the result too fast. In other words, they want to skip over all the little things that I teach and just get to the success part of the ladder,

getting your ex girlfriend back

And therein lies the problem.

You want results without having to do any of “the little things.”

And believe me when I say that those little things are EVERYTHING.

Hmm… I feel like I should give you a more definitive example.

Alright, I suppose I can get personal here.

If you ask me right now on what my goal for this website, Ex Girlfriend Recovery, is I would tell you two things.

  1. I want to create the best website on getting an ex girlfriend back in the world.
  2. I want to diversify my traffic to this website much more than what it is right now.

Pretty ambitious goals, right.

Lets take an in-depth look at both of these goals and look at all “the little things” that have to happen in order to achieve them.

I suppose we can start with creating the best website in the world.

GOAL ONE: Creating The Best Website In The World For Men Trying To Get Their Ex Girlfriends Back

Off the top of my head here are all the little things that need to happen to make this a reality.

  • Create the best content in the world
  • Research psychological principles/ relationship books to make sure your content isn’t stale
  • Invest in a designer to improve the look
  • Answer comments
  • Create the best products in the world
  • Always keep the content up to date
  • Have good customer service
  • Stay current with trends

Look at all of those little things that have to happen.

Each one is important.

Lets look at the second goals out there,

GOAL TWO: Diversify Traffic To The Website

Any good investment analyst will tell you that a safe investment portfolio is one that is diversified.

Well, the same principle applies to website traffic.

You don’t want to put all of your eggs in one basket. Thus, a great website needs to have traffic sources from all around the net.

Search engines…

Social media...


Word of mouth…

You get the idea.

So, what “little things” have to happen for me to achieve this goal,

  • Improve presence in the big three search engines (Google, Yahoo & Bing)
  • Create a YouTube channel
  • Buy a camera to record videos for YouTube
  • Buy proper lighting and backdrop to make videos look professional
  • Improve social media presence on Facebook, Twitter, Pintrest, Etc
  • Invest in advertising
  • Write killer content that makes people want to share it thus creating word of mouth

Again, you have a TON of little things that have to happen to achieve the overarching goal.

Now, you may be sitting there wondering what the hell any of this has to do with you and kissing your ex girlfriend.

Well, throughout this page we are going to be operating under one simple assumption,

The More Your Ex Girlfriend Kisses You The Higher Your Chances Of Success Are

However, in order to get her to kiss you more there are a lot of little things that you need to check off the list.

Oh, and if you think that you can skip a few of these “little things” then you have another thing coming.

What do I mean by that?

Ok, pretend that you are climbing up a ladder except half the rungs are missing,


That was a horrible graphic by me…

But I think you get what I am going for here.

There is no way that you are going to be able to climb to the top of the ladder if half the rungs are missing. Well, every time you neglect one of the “little things” that I tell you to do to make your ex girlfriend kiss you I want you to think that, that is the equivalent of taking a rung out of the metaphorical ladder of success.

After a while if you neglect those little things they can really add up.

Anyways, I bet you are dying to know what you can do to make your ex girlfriend kiss you more.

What You Can Do To Make Your Ex Girlfriend Want To Kiss You More

I suppose the best way to start this section isn’t by talking about kissing but rather where kissing falls in my overall get your ex back strategy.

You see, over the years I have found that it can be extremely helpful if you have a template “strategy” that you can point most guys to when they ask the inevitable question of,

“How do I get my ex back?”

Thus, I came up with this simple strategy,

Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back

You start from left to right.

  • You do the no contact rule
  • Then you implement “the value chain”
  • You text first
  • Then transition to phone calls
  • Then to a small in person interaction
  • And finally a romantic interaction
  • This will ultimately lead to success

So, where does kissing end up in this strategy?

Why it’s right here,


I mean, last time I checked kissing was a pretty romantic thing.

Thus, it’s in the romantic date section.

But you will notice that there is a pretty glaring flaw with this “ultimate “get your ex back” strategy.”

Care to take a guess at what that flaw is?


Ok, it’s the fact that the strategy basically ends after a romantic date with your ex girlfriend. In other words, the strategy is assuming that a talk is going to take place where you convince your ex girlfriend to take you back.

But what if that doesn’t happen?

What if you did everything that the strategy recommends and the romantic date goes incredibly well?

In fact, it went so well that you and your ex girlfriend had a very passionate make out session. However, neither of you brought up your relationship status.

What then?

I mean, there is nothing in the strategy that talks about what happens in between here and here,


Well, that’s kind of what I want to talk about now.

I want to talk about all “the little things” that you need to do after you had a successful romantic date (where you and your ex girlfriend kissed) to become successful at winning your girlfriend back.

Are you ready?

The “Make Her Kiss You More” Strategy

I want you to take a look at this fun little graphic I put together for you.

make her kiss you more

This is the strategy that you are going to be employing so I want you to get used to it.

A couple of things to note here.

There are four main parts to this strategy.

  1. Location
  2. Emotional Bonding
  3. Kino
  4. Taking Action

I am going to talk in-depth about each one of those things in a moment but first I want to turn your attention to the second thing of note.

The fact that this strategy is in a never-ending loop.

Now, I create all the internal graphics here at Ex Girlfriend Recovery so I definitely created this never-ending loop for a reason.

It’s because once you reach this part of the overall strategy,

get your ex back strategy

You basically keep going around in that never ending loop until you succeed or fail.

And guess what happens if you go around in the loop correctly?

Not only will you raise your chances of getting your ex girlfriend back but you end up getting more kisses from her as well.


But lets talk about those “little things” for a minute.

The four things in the loop that I really need you to nail down perfectly for this to work.

You remember what they were, right?

  1. Location
  2. Emotional Bonding
  3. Kino
  4. Taking Action

Let’s start by talking about location.



I want you to go on a date.


Except this date has to be romantic. In fact, it has to be one of the romantic dates you have ever set up in your entire life.

Look, the only reason that you are in this predicament is because you already had a romantic date and you failed to get your ex girlfriend to commit to you,

get your ex back strategy

This tells me one of two things,

That a conversation where the two of you become official again hasn’t happened


That a conversation where the two of you become official has happened and she turned you down (but you still somehow got a kiss.)

Well, by making this date UBER romantic you are going to accomplish a few things.

The first thing you will accomplish is that it’s kind of a strange non verbal way of showing your ex girlfriend that you are interested in her “in that way.”

I mean, a guy friend doesn’t rent out an entire boat just so he can have dinner with her one on one…

A guy friend isn’t going to line a walkway full of roses up for her…

He isn’t going to make romantic gestures on this level…

The only person who would do things like that is a man who is interested in her.

She knows this on some level so if she agrees to go out on a date with you and she understands that the date is going to be romantic it is almost like she is giving herself over to you in a slow way.


Think of it this way.

A woman’s time is much more valuable than a mans time.

It’s just a simple fact of life.

So, if she continually invests that time into your romantic dates then in a weird way you are pushing her to be with you without really having to do much.

Now, I can hear some of the doubters out there going,

But Chris… isn’t a romantic date a little too much at this point?

Ah, you have to remember where you are at in the grand scheme of things.

Big strategies like the no contact rule and the beginning stages of the value chain (pick up EGR PRO or The Texting Bible for more information on them) are in your rear view mirror. If you are at a point where your ex girlfriend is kissing you then a romantic date shouldn’t be too much of a stretch, right?

I mean, what do couples do on romantic dates?


Speaking of kissing…

Emotional Bonding

emotional bonding

Emotional bonding is powerful…

So powerful in fact that if you master the skill you can make your ex girlfriend do anything you want.

Ok, maybe not technically “everything” but you can definitely make her be your girlfriend again and in your world that probably amounts to “everything.”

So, what is emotional bonding?

Well, it’s all about connecting…

It’s about talking about your dreams…

It’s about showing your soul to another person…

Hmm… I don’t think I am quite doing it justice.

Ok, let me use something a little closer to home.

When I met my wife the emotional bond we created was powerful.

We talked about everything you can possibly think about.

Religious beliefs…

Philosophies on life…

Funny stories…

Sad stories…

Our feelings about each other…


Eventually I felt that we had such an emotional bond that no other man could possibly compete with what we had created.

And I was right…

I got this girl to marry me,

coors light girl


That’s my wife,


And there is no way I could have landed her without the power of an emotional bond.

And I just don’t see how you can convince your ex girlfriend to be in a relationship with you without it.

So, how do you go about creating or in your case “recreating one.”

Re-creating An Emotional Bond

Romantic attachments (or emotional bonds) are one of the most studied subjects in the relational sciences.

A romantic attachment is a deep emotional bond to another individual.

But that’s not the most interesting thing.

The most interesting thing is how human beings have evolved.

Over millions of years evolution has favored humans who have a deep emotional bond with a sexual partner. In other words, forming an emotional bond is in your DNA. It’s our species way of surviving.

But that still doesn’t explain how you create one.

Well, turns out scientists have studied this too.

Now, as much as I would love to give you some special topics to cover with your ex girlfriend it turns out, according to scientists, that, that isn’t the best way to re-create an emotional bond.

Scientists have learned that when it comes to forming a deep emotional connection we often base it on physical contact.





The more we do these things the more of an attachment you form to the other person.

Thus, it makes sense that there is a correlation between the success stories and the amount of men who get repeat kisses from their ex girlfriends.

Remember our goal here.


And now you know why.

Physical contact is what will make the most difference when it comes to forming an emotional bond.

And that leads me to my next point, Kino.



When you look at my overall strategy for getting an ex girlfriend back what is the first verb that comes to mind?

Speaking personally…

It’s escalation.

You see, my strategy is all about escalation.

Starting off small and slowly building from there.

Keep that in mind as I teach you about Kino because the idea behind escalation matters a lot.

Kino– Kinesthetics – Touching, physical contact with a female

I do want to mention that this isn’t an idea that is original to me. Nope, I took this idea from a very interesting community.

The pickup artist community.

Hey don’t judge…

When you are looking for new information to teach you will go anywhere to get it and while I didn’t like a lot of the PUA ideas out there I did find this one to be quite useful.

Kino is basically a smart way of escalating physical touch with a woman.


Maybe you will respond better to something a bit more visual.

Lets pretend that I created a kino scale for you.

kino scale

On one end of the scale you have no touching at all…

kino scale

And then at the other end of the scale you have the ultimate of all physical touching… Sex.

kino scale copy

Of course, in between the two ends of the scale are all the “in between” or escalators. Notice how all of these “little things” slowly but surely intensify until they reach the ultimate boiling point, sex.

kino scale copy 2

This is the idea behind Kino.

You slowly but surely increase your frequency of touch across the date.

Ideally you want to be at an 8 on the scale pretty consistently if you are taking your ex out on romantic dates but every woman is different. You will kind of have to play that by ear.

Take Action

Lets do a quick recap of what we have learned so far with making your ex girlfriend kiss you more.

We have learned that the location of a date matters… Ideally you want the date to be super romantic and the more you get your ex girlfriend to agree to go on a date with you the better.

We also learned that in order to establish a strong emotional bond you are going to have to improve your physical one.

Oh, and last but not least is the idea of kino and escalation.

Now all that is left is for you to take action. I want you to repeat this process over and over again until you see results.

It’s that simple.	

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