There’s a popular old wives tale out there that says that men think about sex every seven seconds which equates to about 8,000 times a day. While there is no research to back up that claim lets pretend for a moment that it’s true.
There is only one thing I can think of that women can use to match the intensity at which men think about sex.
Want to know what it is?
More accurately, the idea of falling in love.
Don’t believe me?
Just take a look at how much money Hollywood has made over the years with these generic romantic movies where you can predict the outcome before you even watch it. The reason they are so successful is because so many women are so in love with love that they are happy to fork over money to watch a movie whose outcome they already know.
This leads us to your current predicament with your ex girlfriend.
I don’t envy your position. I am not going to lie.
You see, at one point you meant the world to your ex girlfriend. Heck, if she was the earth then you were probably her sun (aka. her world revolved around you.) Unfortunately, that is no longer the case. She is no longer in love with you and the worst part about it all is that you knew what things were like when she was.
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That’s why you are here though…
You are desperate to find a way to get her to fall back in love with you.
I think I can help you there.
Before We Begin I Need To Tell You Something Important
Many men come to this website wanting to get their ex girlfriends back.
But there’s a problem with this line of thinking….
Getting an ex girlfriend back generally isn’t a simple process. It requires a lot of thought, strategy and even a little bit of luck.
The truth is that I can’t tell you everything that you absolutely need to know about getting your ex girlfriend back in this article.
For me to say that I can would be a lie.
Luckily, I have created something that can tell you just about everything you absolutely need to know to get your ex girlfriend back.
You can learn more about it by clicking the button below,Get Relief FasterWith Tactics I Can't Put on the Blog...
That is really your greatest rival when it comes to winning back your exes affections. Think of it like this for a moment. You and your girlfriend had a relationship so both of you know what the other one brings to the table. Well, when it comes to actually getting her back you are going to have to overcome any resistance she may have about what you bring to the table.
For example, she may think something like,
“I already know he spends too much time with his “boys” and won’t have any time for me.”
“He never touches me… Why would I want to get back in that situation?”
The point here is simple. Since your ex has already dated you she knows your negative qualities (or the qualities that she thought were negative.) Your greatest challenge is finding a way to overcome these negatives by convincing her that this next time will be different.
So, looking at your general situation what is it that we know already?
Well, we know that you and your ex are no longer together (this guide will help you to get her back.)
We also know that for whatever reason your ex girlfriend fell out of love with you as a result of your negative qualities and you are going to have to overcome this “resistance” if you are going to make her fall back in love with you.
Lets focus on that first, why your ex girlfriend fell out of love with you or the resistance you are going to be facing.
Resistance 1- Boredom
This one hurts.
Essentially what happened in a relationship here is that your girlfriend got so bored of being with you that she just lost her feelings. I have a buddy who has been with his girlfriend for five years. Yes, you read that right, FIVE YEARS.
One day when we were out at a bar he sat me down and he said,
“Chris, when you are with someone for that long things change… I remember when I first started dating [5 years girl] we couldn’t keep our hands of each other. The sex was absolutely amazing. Everything was bliss. However, as the years went by we got used to each other and things just become kind of boring.”
This was pretty shocking for me to hear since I didn’t even get a hint that my friend was getting bored in his relationship. So, I asked a pretty simple question,
“Why are you still with her then?”
His answer was very insightful.
“We had to learn to find ways to re-spark our relationship so we weren’t as bored with each other.”
Relationships that stand the test of time aren’t easy. Anyone who tells you that they are is either a fool or has never been in one. The boredom in a relationship is eventually going to come, it’s inevitable. However, the best way to combat that boredom is to keep your girl on her toes.
Treat her to dinner in a nice restaurant from time to time. Take her on a romantic get-a-way trip. Greet her in the morning with surprises. Have passionate sex in new places.
If you aren’t able to find a way to combat this boredom the result can be devastating with her falling out of love with you.
Resistance 2- Her Emotional Needs Weren’t Met
What do you think I mean when I talk about “emotional needs?”
In every single serious relationship that a woman enters into with a man she is going to be expecting that man to fulfill her emotional needs. I am talking about things like.
- Feeling secure
- Feeling envied
- Feeling equal
- Feeling like she is the only one that means something to him
- Enough trust with a man that she can be open with him
- I think you get the idea
When these needs aren’t met she is going to start doubting the relationship and slowly but surely lose her feelings for you.
Lets use you and your girlfriend as an example.
Lets say that throughout your relationship with your girlfriend you did not make her feel secure, you did not make her feel envied and she had no trust in you at all. In this case you are not doing anything to fulfill your girlfriend emotionally. Sure, maybe you are dynamite in the sack but that’s only one aspect of the relationship and most women don’t fall in love just because they slept with someone.
This is where men and women have a bit of a disconnect.
Men are obviously more physical so they equate physical things to love. Women on the other hand are more emotional so they equate more emotional things to love.
If you want to make your girlfriend love you again THAT is where you are going to have to start, with her emotions (but more on that later.)
Resistance 3- Other Men…
For most men this is a nightmare scenario (you can count me in that majority as well.)
The way this works is pretty simple. If your girlfriend ever mutters the four most horrifying words ever,
“I met someone else…”
Then that means that she probably fell out of love with you as the result of another guy. Now, I will say one thing. In my own experience most women usually do not go outside of their relationships (to other men) unless their own relationship has some serious problems.
For example, if you aren’t meeting your girlfriends emotional needs (resistance 2) then your girlfriend may go somewhere else to get them met.
Of course, there are always those men out there that actively hit on women who are married or dating just because they are jerks.
But I am going to make this really simple for you.
If your girlfriend ever leaves you for another man then that means that she doesn’t love you.
How do I know this?
Because people who are truly in love couldn’t ever comprehend a future with anyone else (that’s the romantic in me speaking 😉 .)
Resistance 4- Your Lying
What’s that famous quote?
“Trust – Hard to gain, Easy to lose..”
I feel that this quote is extremely insightful and applies to what we are going to talk about here with resistance 4 and lying.
Generally speaking when it comes to relationships where trust goes love usually follows. So, if there is a complete lack of trust there can also be a complete lack of love.
Now, I bet you are sitting there wondering,
“Why are we talking about trust and not about lies?”
Because, every time you lie (and your girlfriend catches you) it’s like taking an axe and cutting down the “tree of trust.”
Lets make a big (and hopefully untrue) assumption by saying that you got caught in a lot of lies during your relationship with your girlfriend. Well, the biggest resistance she is going to have when she contemplates on whether or not she should take you back is probably going to go a little like this,
“He is a liar and if I take him back he isn’t going to change. How can I ever trust him?”
Now, I don’t know about you but I tend not to fall in love with people who I know for a fact are going to lie to me.
(Don’t freak out if this is you since I am going to show you what to do to win back your exes affection later in this guide.)
Resistance 5- Growing Apart
Life has an interesting way of putting us all on different paths.
For example, when I was graduating high school all of my friends and I swore that we would keep in touch. That didn’t happen obviously as I am not friends with any of them anymore. The same thing happened with college. I haven’t hung out with any of my college friends in over a year.
My point here is simple, all of us are on a path and sometimes that path takes us in a different direction than the other people we have grown close to.
Maybe your girlfriend was looking for the next step, marriage, and you weren’t ready to commit. Heck, maybe the two of you were married and she wanted to have kids and you didn’t.
Big differences in the philosophies of the relationship like those can be a force that causes two people to grow apart.
How To Overcome The Resistance
Your ex girlfriend obviously has a lot of resistance when it comes to getting back together with you. If she didn’t she would have probably taken you back when you initially tried. Before you can even think about getting her back and making her fall back in love with you, you are going to have to find a way to overcome this resistance.
In my opinion, overcoming the resistance is going to be your most challenging task because really the resistance is the only thing that is standing between you and her getting back together.
What do you think I mean by that?
Well, lets pretend for a minute that your girlfriend has serious reservations about getting back together with you because during your relationship you never met her emotional needs (resistance 2.) Well, every time that she even thinks about getting back together with you she is going to be haunted by a singular thought like,
“He never met my emotional needs in the relationship. There is no way he is ever going to change.”
You aren’t going to get her back if she has those kind of thoughts and if you can’t get her back you aren’t ever going to make her fall in love with you again.
So, the question you are probably wondering is how do you defeat these resistance thoughts she has?
Well, there are really three things you have to do when you are looking to get rid of her doubts.
- Identifying her resistance.
- Giving her time.
- Attacking her resistance.
Lets look at each of these things in-depth.
Identifying Her Resistance
I am the type of person that likes to be prepared. This is a quality that I would like you to adopt for your particular situation. One thing that we already know is that your ex girlfriend probably has a lot of resistance about getting back with you.
- Maybe the two of you fought too much.
- Maybe you didn’t met her needs emotionally.
- Maybe the two of you just got too comfortable with one another.
Whatever the case I think it is really important for you to identify every possible resistance that she may have about getting back together with you. This way you know everything you are up against and what you are going to have to overcome to win back her love.
Oh, and I do feel it is important to mention that she could have more than one resistance about getting back together with you. Heck, she could have an entirely new resistance that I haven’t even listed on this page. Make sure you look at the situation from her perspective as that will give you good insight into what she is thinking.
Giving Her Time
What’s that old phrase?
“Rome wasn’t built in a day.”
Well, you aren’t going to break down her resistance about getting back together with you in a day. For you to even try to win her back and make her fall in love with you in a day is the most idiotic belief you could ever have. No, making another human being actually fall in love with you and choose to be with you will take some time.
There aren’t any shortcuts when it comes to this kind of thing, trust me.
Let me tell you a little story to illustrate this point.
About a week ago I read a comment a reader left on my other site, Ex Boyfriend Recovery that was absolutely heartbreaking. This woman wanted nothing more than to get her ex boyfriend back. As I communicated with her she literally told me,
“I will do everything you tell me to do.”
So I told her what to do. I told her to give the guy some time before she rushes in and tries to get him back. I also told her that when she eventually does get to a point where she is talking with her ex she is going to have to be very patient and not try to rush everything at once.
In other words, I tried to explain to her the best I could that this isn’t going to happen overnight and the more you rush it the more likely things will fall apart right in front of your face.
Did she listen to me?
Of course not. She decided she was going to rush everything and what happened? Things fell apart.
Don’t rush this process with your ex girlfriend. Give her some time before you come in guns a blazing trying to defeat her resistances (aka The NC Rule.)
Attacking Her Resistance
(Need more advice on getting your ex girlfriend back? Check out Ex Girlfriend Recovery PRO.)
Here is kind of how this works.
During your relationship with your ex girlfriend she began to notice certain negative qualities about you. Eventually the negative qualities became so bad that she decided to leave you because of them.
The Negative Qualities = The Resistance She Has About Taking You Back
Well, ideally what you want to have happen is that you are able to overcome her resistance (through her emotional attachment to you), prove that you no longer display the negative qualities she hates when she takes you back and as a result she will fall back in love with you. Take a look below for a visual representation of this process,
The problem you currently face is the fact that you really can’t prove you no longer possess the negative qualities which invariably led to your breakup right now because the two of you are currently broken up.
Because you really have to be in a relationship to overcome those types of negative qualities.
Unfortunately, the resistance thoughts your ex has in her mind (because of those negative qualities) are preventing you from being in a relationship with her.
So, right now your focus should be on attacking her resistance and I have found that the most effective way to do that is through the use of good old fashioned emotions.
Using Her Emotions For You To Overcome Her Resistance
That is the number of women I have talked to as a result of Ex Boyfriend Recovery (the sister site to this one.) When you communicate with that many women about relationships you tend to learn a thing or two about how they make decisions.
Would you like to know what I learned?
Women tend to make relationship decisions based on the emotions they are feeling.
For example, if you can tap into the emotional center of a woman and make her feel something so powerful that no one else has the ability to she is going to be drawn to you. Of course, the opposite can also be true, which is unfortunately true in your case.
If a woman begins to associate a lot of bad emotions towards you (see the resistance section above) she is going to be want to get away from you.
Right now this is your situation, your ex girlfriend wants nothing to do with you.
What we have to do is turn the tables on her so that she starts associating more of those strong and positive emotions towards you.
Luckily, there are many different ways in which you can accomplish this.
It’s Important That You Make Her Miss You
Have you ever missed someone so much that it literally hurt you to be away from them?
Those of you who are unlucky enough to experience this feeling know how emotional it can make you.
Well, one way to make sure that you overcome your ex girlfriends resistance to dating you again is to make her miss you so much that it literally hurts her to be away from you. The question you are probably wondering is how in the world are you going to accomplish that when she wants nothing to do with you?
Right now she may not miss you.
That’s ok, that’s normal for a breakup.
Eventually though there will come a time when she misses certain aspects of your relationship with her and this will cause her to want to message you via social media, text you or call you. When this moment comes should you be there for her?
Pretty much every fiber of your being is going to scream YES. However, the smarter move is to not respond to her at all (not for a while at least.)
She is messaging you because she misses you. This is exactly what you want but you don’t want to relieve her of her pain (as weird as that sounds) by messaging her back. Instead, you want her to miss you on an even more intense level to the point where she is actually hungering for you to message her back.
Take a look at the graph below,
Lets pretend that this graph represents the intensity that your ex girlfriend misses you after the breakup. As you can see the graph has a sharp incline, a high point and then a sharp decline.
Well, it is highly likely that during the sharp incline, when your ex is missing you, is when she is going to reach out to you. That point will probably occur here on the graph,
Lets assume that she called you at this point of the graph, you picked up, answered and had a very long conversation with her. Well, after that conversation she isn’t going to miss you as much so it is highly likely that the graph will take the downward trajectory shown above.
Instead of being patient, playing your cards right and showing some discipline by ignoring her call you decided to give in to your own desires and the price you paid for it was the fact that she no longer misses you as much.
The better strategy, as I just said, is to ignore her call which admittedly might make her a little angry at first but the end result is almost always the same, she misses you more.
Lets take a look at what that will look like on a graph.
With this graph I marked the point at which your ex probably calls or texts you with an arrow. However, instead of responding to her call or text message you decide to ignore it and look what happens as a result.
The trajectory of the graph shoots drastically upward.
In other words, your ex girlfriend begins to miss you on a much deeper level.
Now, here is the 5 million dollar question.
What do you think is easier,
Trying to overcome the resistance when she misses you just a little bit or trying overcome it when she misses you a lot?
It’s not rocket science.
(For more information on how to make your ex girlfriend miss you please visit this guide on Ex Girlfriend Recovery.)
Tapping Into Her Old Happy Emotions Towards You
I know that for most on this page I have been kind of a debbie downer with me pointing out everything that you are doing wrong. Well, in this section that is all about to change because we are going to turn our focus to what you have done right.
One of the biggest advantages that you have over every other man walking the earth right now is that you were the last person that your ex girlfriend was in love with (I hope.)
In other words, you have already proven that you have the ability to make this girl fall in love with you.
What you need to do now is to find a way to tap into those emotions again.
You know, all the ones that made her so happy that she couldn’t even think straight for hours at a time.
How do you do that?
Allow me to demonstrate.
I am going to think back to the one of the happiest moments in my entire relationship with a woman.
Once I have identified that moment I am going to write it down.
Give me a second while I think…
Ok, I have it.
The Moment – Going on a horse carriage ride around San Antonio and thinking to myself, “This is the one… I am going to marry this girl.”
Now, before I go on I do feel it is important to mention that when you are doing this for your particular girlfriend you need to make sure that the moment you choose means just as much to her as it did to you. If it doesn’t then this tactic isn’t going to work.
Assuming that you do have the prefect moment picked out what is it that you have to do to bring your ex girlfriend back into the moment?
I always loved the idea of a text message for this.
For example, if I were to use my memory in a text message I would say something like this,
Do you see how I never referenced what went on in San Antonio (the carriage ride?)
Why do you think I did that?
The memory you pick out needs to be so powerful that you shouldn’t even have to mention exactly what happened. Rather, all you should have to say is a place and a time and your ex girlfriend should know exactly what you are talking about.
Oh, also I should mention that its important that you pick your spots with this text message.
For example, the best time to use a message like this is when you are already having an in-depth conversation with your girlfriend. This way she is properly primed to go to a place where she can re-experience the emotions she experienced the day that (the memory you picked out) happened.
When She Takes You Back
(You can learn the step by step method for making her fall in love with you in Ex Girlfriend Recovery PRO. Just sayin…)
I know you may still be a little confused on how to get your ex girlfriend back. I realize I kind of rushed through everything and didn’t give you the full step by step method that you should be implementing.
Luckily, I have you covered as I have written multiple guides on the steps to winning a girlfriend back,
If you are still confused about how that part of this process works please reference the guides above since they will explain everything to you.
Of course, the main purpose of this guide is to teach you how can make your ex girlfriend fall back in love with you. If you did manage to convince your ex girlfriend to take you back that doesn’t necessarily mean she’s in love with you yet.
(Sorry 🙁 .)
It’s ok though because I am going to show you what you need to do to raise your chances of making her fall in love with you.
Combating What She Thinks Your Negative Qualities Are
Ok, if you have reached this point then that means you were able to overcome her resistance about getting back together with you. Now that you are back with her you can work on combating the negative qualities that she thinks you have.
Now, I want you to listen up very closely because what I am going to be talking about here is a foolproof method for making a girl fall in love with you.
Before I wrote a word on this page I was thinking,
“Hmm… I kind of want to write something that teaches men how to treat a woman. I want to write something that teaches them to treat women so well that the woman has no choice but to fall in love with them.”
From this point on this guide is going to be focusing on that, how a real man should treat a woman.
Know Your Worth
Most men who want their exes back are desperate. As a result, assuming they do get their exes back, they make the relationship all about the girl instead of making it an equal partnership. You see, they are so frightened that they are going to lose the girl again that they will completely disregard their own personal needs in the relationship.
Some women pick up on this and take full advantage.
For example, I have heard multiple stories where women will manipulate the guy to do things that she wants him to do and uses her leaving the relationship as the ultimate tool to do so.
Knowing your own worth in the relationship is essential and is going to make you more attractive to your girl.
Think of it like this.
Who would a woman rather date?
A man who has no sense of self worth who she knows she can control/manipulate.
A man who has a sense of self worth who is going to challenge her in new ways.
While some women may find it appealing to be able to control a man it will get boring after a while and a relationship like that won’t last in the long run. So please, don’t be a guy who is going to get manipulated.
Being Able To Communicate
I don’t think communication gets the respect it deserves. When most people point out the problems of a relationship they point to things like not enough sex, emotional needs not being met and lying. While all of those can be harmful to a relationship I really think a lack of communication is worse.
Look at it like this.
If you are able to communicate properly you will be able to work through any “physical” issues you may be having as a couple. If both people communicate properly they will begin to understand what the other person needs on an emotional level. Oh, and there will be no need for lying.
By having good communication skills alone you can add another element to your relationship that most people fail to bring to the table.
Don’t Be Afraid To Go All Out On The Romance
I once had a guy tell me that his girlfriend hated Valentines Day.
“Chris, she literally told me that she hates V-Day. I don’t think I am going to have to do anything.”
What do you think happened to him when he didn’t do anything for valentines day?
Yup, they broke up because she was offended.
Women love romance. It’s just the way it is. They love those moments at the end of romantic comedies where the protagonist declares his undying love. They LOVE IT!
Of course, this presents us men with a pretty major problem. You see, most of us aren’t very good at the romance part. We aren’t good at expressing our feelings of undying love. Well, I take that back. We are but only in the physical sense. Women want us to express it in the emotional sense.
Let me give you an example.
I was on YouTube the other day and I happened to watch this 20 minute marriage proposal video that had over 9 million views. Now, I have to hand it to the guy, he really went all out. The proposal was funny, creative but most importantly, emotional.
Here, it’s worth watching (but only for the girls reaction to it all.)
Why do you think I made you watch that video (specifically for the girls reaction?)
Because, that is romance at it’s finest. Granted, most of you here probably aren’t looking to propose to your girlfriend but if you can bring just a sliver of the spirit that this guy put into his romantic proposal into your relationship your girlfriend is going to appreciate it on a deep level.
Too many men are afraid to go all out when it comes to the romance in their relationship.
So, I have a challenge for you.
I want you to do something so romantic for your girlfriend that she won’t ever forget it for the rest of her life. When she is on her deathbed she is going to look back on her life and point to this one incredible act as the most romantic thing ever done for her.
Ruin other men for her…
Do that and she will fall in love with you.