By Chris Seiter

Published on July 1st, 2022

One of the questions I often get is whether one should call or text their ex girlfriend after they complete the No Contact period.  So let’s get to it. Here is the the short and sweet answer.  Then for more details, read on as I explain the reasons why.

Your Answer is….

After you finish your No Contact period, you should send your ex girlfriend a well written text message in order to create some curiosity.  Phone calls at this stage are too often ignored and can be awkward at best to carry out.  So your initial contact should be in the form of a text and it should achieve certain strategic goals.

So let’s me go over the Top Reasons why you want to lead with a text message.

7 Reasons Why Text Messages Are The Best Way To Initiate Communication With An Ex

Just in case you need a little more convincing as to why text messages are a more effective way of trying to get the communications started up again, let me lay out my reasoning:

1. When Your Are First Reaching Out to Your Ex Girlfriend, Think Small Steps

Often after a breakup the first thing we want to do is react.  There is usually an urge to talk to your ex girlfriend and try and clear things up.  But more often than not, that initial reaction is going to get you in trouble with her.

That is why having a No Contact Period is often the wise way to proceed.  And when it comes time to finally communicate  with your ex, easing into that process by way of texting most often pays dividends.

2. You Want To Be in Control of the Conversation Topic

When it is finally time to talk with your ex, it is imperative you control the conversation.  Your initial goal is to try and establish some line of communication.  In a way, it is a feeling out process.  If you rush it or wander into talking about the wrong conversation topics, you can land yourself in a heap of trouble.

Think of this as a feeling out process and in order to get to first base, it is often best to send a text message that arouses curiosity and elicits a response.

3. A Text Message is the Preferred Method of Many

Almost everyone uses texting as a means of communicating, whether it be in long or short form.

It is convenient and fast and even if the person does not pick up on your message instantly, it is there for her to see later.

So it stands to reason that your ex girlfriend would much rather prefer to hear from you in this fashion. She will likely be guarded and so if this is her mindset it allows her time to process through her feelings.

4. You Can Strategically Build Upon Your Initial Text Message

One of the most important reasons text messaging will serve your interests is that you can build a chain of texts to slowly rebuild attraction.

I have written a book, called the Texting Bible, that teaches you how you can use texting to help you with getting back into the good graces of your ex.

Bear in mind, a texting your ex strategy is no silver bullet.  It won’t work in every situation, particularly if you are not executing it correctly.  This is why I wrote the book.  I wanted to share with you the lessons learned by many of our clients and pass on my insights and recommendations.

5. It Gives Your Ex Girlfriend Time To Pause and Not Overreact

There is a good chance that your ex girlfriend may harbor a lot of confused and complex feelings, some of which you may not even be aware of.

One of the things you don’t want to do is over press and make your ex feel she is cornered.  By using your texting strategy you allow her time to process your messaging and think about if and when she wants to respond.

6.  You Want To Guard Against Overplaying Your Hand

Another thing that some guys end up doing is pushing too hard to get communications back on track.  I have seen cases in which a guy will call their ex girlfriend over and over again to the point of completely alienating the ex.

Others have missteped  by showing up at the door of their ex.  Big mistake.  That is the classic overplay.

So think of it this way.  Adopting a more conservative texting approach provides some protection to you from overstepping and overplaying your hand.

7. It Helps You Better Gauge Your Ex Girlfriend’s Interest Levels

As you properly employ your texting strategy in the manner you have been taught, you are better able to assess her interest levels as well as make mid direction changes as may be needed.

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Girlfriend Back?

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Your ex girlfriend isn’t going to come back into your life in the way you want after the first, second, or even after multiple text messages.

You see, that is not what you should expect.  Texting is used as a means to break the ice and create some curiosity and interest so that your next ex recovery strategies have a better chance of working.

And what is the next action that should be taken after you successfully spark a little interest via texting?

Well, specifically it is having a very controlled phone conversation (or Face-time), followed by the meet-up phase.  Those are  entirely different tactics that have their own do’s and don’ts.  But you don’t want to rush into that phase of your ex recovery plan until you have satisfied the texting phase.

Frequently Asked Questions About Texting After No Contact

1. How long should I wait to send my ex girlfriend a text?

As we discussed in this article, you should wait until your No Contact Period is over.  This period of time can be anywhere from 21 to 45 days.  This gives you plenty of time in constructing the type of text that can enable you to open a window into her life.

2. What if I don’t text her and wait for her to do something?

That is always your choice, but the ex recovery plan I advocate calls for you to take the initiative and try to get something restarted.  After all, you have most likely waited around 30 days, so for most breakup situations that is probably long enough.

3.  If I called her, instead of texting, would that be wrong?

It may not be necessarily wrong if you called your ex girlfriend, but my Game Plan strongly encourages you to ease back into the communications by using select and specific types of text messages.  Then if the right kind of connection is achieved, calling her would be the next logical step.	

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