You are probably feeling pretty bad these days since your ex girlfriend decided to dump you.
I know that sounds harsh and you probably didn’t deserve losing the girl of dreams who just made everything so much better for you. Getting dumped by your ex girlfriend, the woman you love and thought loved you, certainly will play havoc on your emotions.
So, yes, you have good reason to feel bad about her leaving you.
But what about your ex girlfriend? Does she feel the least bit guilty for leaving you?
Is she feeling like the world has about to come to an end and is having to drag herself out of bed to face the day?
Or are you wondering why she doesn’t seem to carry the same emotional burden you have been hauling around all these days as you struggle with why all those special times with your ex will be no more.
“Why doesn’t she feel guilty?” you ask yourself over and over. She precipitated the breakup. As you look back, you can still hardly believe it.
The Ex Comeback Road You Shouldn’t Travel
My goal here is not to make you feel worse about the shock of what has happened to you. So we are not going to travel that road, though I bet some of you deep down inside would like to think about some clever and devious ways to make your ex feel guilty about what she did to you.
They have a name for that, right? It’s called Payback. Sound like a good idea? I sure hope you said No!
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This is not about you coming up with ways to remind your ex girlfriend that she did something terrible to you, yet you are willing to forgive her.
You don’t ever want to play the victim role.
Nor do we want you to focus on the past. Living in the past and constantly thinking about what could have been isn’t going to bring your ex girlfriend running back into your arms full of kisses and apologies.
What this article will be about is trying to turn your mind away from making your ex feel bad. In the long run that will only make you feel worse. It’s really about you helping this woman you love see a potential future that she could be missing out on.
Dragging your ex girlfriend through the corridors of guilty memories and creating waves of uncertainty by manipulating her emotions is not what it’s about. In almost all cases when guys try to play those kind of mind games with their lady, it only serves to backfire.
What you need to employ is a more positive and pragmatic approach to convincing your ex that the relationship with you deserves more than reconsideration, but is something they cannot proceed without.
Fighting Against Your Wave of Emotions After A Break Up
I understand what you got going in your head right now is pretty tough to work through. You will come out the other side in fine shape, no matter what happens.
So yes, this can be an agonizing period for you (and her). We both know that. I do this for a living and you are living through it now. For most guys and gals, going through a break up is like living through a mini hell.
And I understand that shedding those emotions of confusion, anger, guilt, or whatever it is you are going through is going to take some time.
How do I know this? Well, I hear about it every day. Here is a short sample of women and men who have written me to tell me about their suffering and how they will do almost anything to get their ex back. And on this topic of making one’s previous lover feel guilty about leaving them, I have plenty of examples you might be able to identify with.
Because after all, for starters, it is important you understand you are not alone.
It is good to know that others have and are presently going through the same emotions. There are other men whose girlfriend walked out on them, leaving them in the dust.
And when they are finally able to take inventory to see what has actually happened, this is when such thoughts of “How do I make my ex girlfriend feel bad for hurting me” starts to well up in them.
So just how far down the rabbit hole of anger and resentment can a guy go to get his girl back?
It turns out that some dudes can weigh into the deep water of rage. I don’t want you wading into those waters.
Here is a smattering of nasty thoughts that I want you recognize a hate bombs that will just further mess up what is left of your relationship with your beloved.
Chris, my ex girlfriend hurt me bad and I want them to feel badly like me. I know I shouldn’t feel this way and it’s wrong to want to hurt the one you love. But is there some way I can play on her guilty conscience?
I want her to suffer. I know I am rotten to the core in her mind and it will probably make everything worse, but she left me for some other guy and if there is a strand of humanity in her, she has to feel rotten about that too. How do I make my ex girlfriend regret her decision to run off with this joker.
Chris – Help me my friend! Do you have like Signs Your Ex Girlfriend is feeling crazy guilty quiz. I need to know I am not the only one suffering her. Because I sure can’t detect anything in her attitude. It’s like she went stone cold against me.
Hey my man, I am really liking your site. She is not showing anything such as forgiving heart. Guilty or not, I figure this whole thing between is beyond being saved. She doesn’t even act like she feels guilty for hurting me.
OK so just let me cut to the chase. I need some ammunition to use on my ex girlfriend. Do you have a list of things you can say to make your ex feel just a little bit bad. Sometimes I want her to feel horrible, but I want to do in a subtle way so it plays on the back of her mind like a broken record.
I got dumped. All I feel is a passion to make he regret walking away.
All right folks, that is probably enough of the venting examples. But you get the drift. You are not the only one whose Ex has made them feel like the forgotten guy.
But guess what? You are in a better position than they are. Why? Because you are not going to make the mistakes some of these guys made before i was able to coach them.
What you don’t want to do is blow up your relationship with your ex girlfriend anymore than what has happened already. If you unleash all your pent up fury and start looking for ways to play mind games with your ex, it ain’t going to work. In most cases, she is not going to be responsive to you if you harp on her being cold hearted or try to push her into some kind of guilt trip.
So what the heck should you do?
Well, lucky you, I have 5 steps I want you to follow that will help your ex girlfriend see you in a lot better light and eventually (this won’t happen overnight), the chances are pretty good for you that she will come around to giving you another chance, despite how things ended.
Remember, what you have going for you is that connection you have built up with her when the two of you were getting along quite well. So we going to play on that and more.
5 Steps In Helping Your Ex Girlfriend See That You Are Still The One
OK, so we are going to get started here and I want you to not cherry pick these ideas. Rather for it to have the best chance of working, you need to understand what we are talking about here is post breakup tactics and you need to implement all the ideas.
If your follow this breakup recovery recipe, then you stand a decent chance of getting her to bite on some kind of overture or first contact message you will eventually send them.
Think of these ideas as a Breadcrumb Strategy. What you are trying to do is drop little clues and employ subtle tactics to bring your ex around to arriving at their own conclusion that they miss you and want you back in their life.
1. Understand That Planting Subtle Guilt in Your Ex’s Mind is Something That Must Emerge from Them Spontaneously
So as I was talking about above, I want you to utilize a breadcrumb type of strategy to get them to see you in a different light. Utilize social media and your friend base to convey little messages to her that you are getting along just fine, but that you still have the highest regard for her.
In her mind, she will be slightly confused, maybe even dazed when she is confronted by the realization that you actually took the high road in handling the breakup as opposed at coming at her with anger and resentment.
So that is the attitude you want to portray and you have to live in that universe of emotions as well for your own good.
If you walk around angry at everything because your ex girlfriend dumped you and all you can think about is making her pay….making her feel guilty, then you are waging the wrong battle.
You are fighting yourself and driving her further away from you. So learn from what those guys were saying up above.
Most of them fail to get their ex back because they stoop to cheap shots and cheap efforts to hurt their ex.
2. You Are Best Served If you Just Create Some Space
As you probably know, I am really big on men and woman making use of the No Contact Rule when a breakup has occurred.
If your ex dumped you and walked out of your life, then something is really off. Something is wrong. Whether it is stuff you did to upset her and it was the last straw or she is playing the game of fickle or payback or whatever; just know that you will be in much better shape in the long run if you just let things cool down.
You benefit by working toward gaining some peace within yourself and working on becoming the best You.
You can read all about this in any of the articles I have here about the No Contact Rule for guys who are suffering from a painful breakup.
3. Learn the Best Practices So You Show Your Ex What They Are Missing Out On
OK, so here comes some good stuff on getting her back.
While you are in this no contact period, there are clever tings you can do to better your chances of getting her to respond to you. And a hint is that it’s not about making her feel guilty.
Honestly, my best advice is you should just put down the bucks to buy my comprehensive Guide on how you can improve you chances with your ex girlfriend in just about every situation.
Invest in this process if you are serious about making some inroads.
While you can try to go it alone. You will be best served if you come up to speed on some of the more sophisticated strategies of overcoming the hurdles and objections you might face.
4. Utilize “Fear of loss” To Create Guilt of the Bread Crumb Type
What do you suppose strikes fear in the heart of your ex girlfriend?
Is it her fear of you becoming unglued and calling her and just letting her have it?
Is it Your Ex’s Fear that you are out there suffering and experiencing such pain that you are about to drive your car off the cliff?
Nah, she is not going to really be that worried about that. She wouldn’t hook up with a guy who thinks that way.
Will it be your girlfriend’s fear that she will never find anyone like you…the guy who was once her soulmate and who she thinks about when her head hits the pillow?
You got to be kidding if you think she is in that state of mind!
Nope, you need to strike at something else to get your ex girlfriend thinking that she may have made a HUGE mistake by cutting you loose.
And what that is all about is creating some subtle jealousy traps. You want her thinking, even in the most remote part of her mind, that either another woman is circling you and about to put the moves on you. Or that you are taking in the scenery of beautiful woman and just might be getting serious about the romance.
Jealousy can be a powerful motivator and it can open you ex girlfriend’s mind in seeing you in a different light. Your value can shoot way up.
But I have a warning. Be careful not to overuse jealous. It can pay off big time, but it can backfire.
My best advice is go get my Guide that walks you through how to do all this stuff, without it blowing up in your face
5. Help Guide Her To See the Big Picture of Returning To You
We are all often better off when we are pragmatic and clear thinking.
Do you think your girl is clear thinking right now?
I am banking on that she is not. Not entirely. But she will get there in the future. So you have time to work your strategy.
If you have a lot to offer to your Ex and you think she just has not been ruled by logic, then you need to help shape her mind. She might be at this very moment, still very emotional about something that caused the breakup. She could be rolling it over and over in her head. Fussing over it. She might be having imaginary conversations with you. Sizing up what to do.
And buddy, if she is running those thoughts through her mind in her state of bitterness and resentment, you are not winning many of those imaginary debates!
But that is OK for now. That is par for the course in the world of breakups.
Just know that she is in no state to make a good decision. Your ex is not of the mind to be convinced of much of anything that looks and sounds like rational advice.
But guess what?
No matter how she bends her anger, there are certain truths she cannot escape.
She may have a lot already invested in you. In a way, the two of you share an interdependent state of experience.
I am assuming you both have a good amount of time invested in each other. Eventually your ex is going to arrive at a state where she is thinking with the left side of her brain (i.e. the logical and reasoning side) when it comes to sizing up if she would ever give you another chance.
But I am guessing she is not quite there yet.
So you need to help her get there. She need some balance in her life just as much as you do. No Contact helps with that. But importantly, she needs to see the cost/benefits of being with you again. You will need to find some clever ways to weigh that in your favor.
In your quest to win her back, you need to work toward cleaning the slate of negative things she is thinking about as it regards you. You want her to focus on your positive qualities. She wants to feel safe and secure. She wants to see that your values align with hers. She probably needs to feel (and this could be really important to her) that there is a long term future with you if she returns to you and that she is not wasting her time.
So you can’t let her down in those important areas.
She will naturally gravitate to considering revisiting the relationship if you can get her to see the true, renewed portrait of YOU. Its based on interdependence theory.
Your ex, just as yourself, always have other options…other paths you can take. We all eventually move in the direction of things and choices that benefit us.
Now, she might not be acting this way now. But that is her emotions talking.
Your mission is to counter that emotional programming going on in your ex girlfriend’s mind and help her see the way.