It can be very frustrating when you are involved in a long distance relationship.
Just being able to see and hear from each other can be a daunting challenge. Being able to spend time together so you can bond and experience things as a couple often gets shortchanged given the distances involved. But when we fall in love, we seek to overcome these obstacles and make the most of the situation as we strive to make it work.
But what happens when your long distance girlfriend or boyfriend breaks up with you?
How do you fix a long distance relationship breakup? In this expert post, I am going to show you 10 ways you can go about making some progress with your LDR ex.
- Up Your Social Media Game
- It’s Time To Plan A Trip
- The No Contact Rule Works for LDR Breakups
- Jealousy Works No Matter Where Your Ex Is Living
- Using An Unusual Method of Communicating
- Sending the Right Texts After You Finish No Contact
- Utilize the Just Passing Thru Strategy
- Pictures Can Reach Across the Miles
- Playing the Help Game With Your Long Distance Relationship Ex
- Make Use of the Closure Excuse
But Chris, My Ex Lives So Far Away
I know it’s not easy to patch up all your differences and make things right after a fight or blowup. When your ex lives across the country, it can be maddening trying to pick up the pieces. Trying to convey what you meant about something or trying to convince your long distance ex that she or he shouldn’t give up can lead to a sense of futility.
How do you get through to them, you ask yourself?
Sure, one can pick up the phone and call or send a text, but it’s not quite the same thing as actually meeting and talking and trying to come to terms with what happened. And what do you do if your LDR ex has withdrawn into himself (or herself), not responding to anything you text.
So many people ask me about whether their long distance ex will ever come back to them. They want to know how they can get him or her back. They will ask me about whether the no contact rule works for long distance relationships. These heart broken souls will tell me they have begged their ex to give them another try.
Often the begging turns into a habit because of the far distance between the couple.
It’s like being spread out, miles apart, can drive the wedge deeper.
To often I have scene utter frustration turn into despair and a sense of helplessness because the ex is so far away. It can seem like nothing ever seems to work.
And that can be really depressing.
But Chris, Will Your Long Distance Relationship Break Up Advice Really Work?
Its hard enough to deal with a normal breakup when your ex lives in the same city or maybe even just around the corner.
Imagine if your situation is magnified by being limited in what you can do to get your ex’s attention. Its not like you are going to bump into them as your turn the corner. I have heard plenty of LDR breakup stories, enough to know that if you don’t have a solid game plan, your challenge is made all the more difficult.
So today, I have some long distance relationship breakup advice. After all, people like yourself who are separated by many miles from your ex, deserve a few good ideas on ways to overcome this barrier. There just isn’t much information out there about this topic. Certainly there has to be something you can do rather than just stay at home and cry. Just because it is hard to patch things up from distance, doesn’t mean you have no chance.
Learning how to fix a broken LDR has its challenges. But you need not give up. I am going to show you how to potentially fix your LDR problems over the course of the next few minutes. So take heed. I am going to offer you 10 ideas of things you can try to help you with making an ex want you back despite the long distance. Tap into these ideas. You might find some you have not tried and it might be the thing that turns things around.
1. Up Your Social Media Game For Your Far Away Ex
You are probably sitting around waiting and thinking what are the chances of my distance ex contacting me? What do I do if contacted? You might even be trying to calculate your percentage chance of this distant ex reaching out. You may have read somewhere about the long distance relationship statistics and have became dismayed that your odds were so poor.
Worse, what if you ex is one of those stubborn ones and is shutting down, making no effort to respond.
Sure, this is not going to be a cake walk, but you are not going to improve your success of getting a rise out of your ex unless you start putting out a steady stream of little reminders that you are out there and alive and breathing and are attractive and fun. This is where having an active and strategic social media game in place can really help.
Your ex might be thousands of miles away, but with a clever social media strategy, he or she might think you are just around the corner. You want your ex to be drifting to thoughts about you and one way to reach them is through an active presence on your Facebook page or Instagram, Snapchat, or whatever way you can get your message across.
And what is that message? It’s simple. You want your ex to think about things like:
- You are getting along well, leading a vibrant life
- You are looking good, really good
- Other notice that you are looking fabulous
- You have fond thoughts and memories of all your relationships, including your ex
- You have a mysterious quality about you that is intriguing
- Your clothes and hairstyle has changed. It is almost like you are new person
- You plan to be in your ex’s area attending some event or doing something of interest
- You have not made any committment to another guy or girl
- You are considering doing some casual dating just for fun. No romance as of yet.
- You are showing plenty of pics of you face, your body, and your adventures
- You are telling personal real life stories about yourself that have cliff hanging endings to keep drawing your ex back in.
2. Let It Slip Out That You Are Planning a Trip To Your Ex’s Location
Being many miles apart from you ex is a state of mind. As I explained above, you can dial in your ex and make it feel like you are a lot closer through some clever social media chatter. But imagine if your ex girlfriend or ex boyfriend knew you were coming to their town well in advance of your arrival. Imagine how that could play on their mind.
Now your trip would not be specifically to go see them. There would be some other reason for why your are in their backyard. I am sure you can think of something. But the idea is you are now cutting the long distance problem out of the equation. Never before will he or she be so tempted to reach out to you. But light this fuse early. Let it it soak into their mind over time so thoughts of you arriving in their city and staying a certain amount of time becomes inescapable.
Even if they suspect you are doing this really to be near them, it can still work. The curiosity and inner desire to see you might just be enough to cause them to reach out and suggest a meet-up. You don’t initiate this conversation. Wait for your long distance ex to come up with it. But if they don’t, then just before you leave, give them a heads up that you will be in town.
3. The No Contact Rule Works For Long Distance Relationship Couples Too
If someone ever told you that no contact and LDR do not go hand in hand, then guess what? They don’t know what they are talking about. Remember, the no contact principle is geared to help you heal. It requires that you shut down any communications with your LDR ex. Given that this is a long distance relationship, phone, methods of like social media and text communications has probably been your primary form of contact. So if you just end that….taking it away as the familiar routine your ex has been accustomed to, it usually makes an impact.
Will it work for sure. No, nothing is guranteed in the world of breakups and LDR relationships. But it has proven to work more often than not for a lot of reasons, so put this strategy in your tool box.
4. Use Jealousy On Your Ex From Afar
A lot of these long distance relationships end in sort of a sputtering way. You start feeling the connection is being lost. The number of times you communicate is dwindling. Sometimes the conversations are becoming more dull and you boyfriend or girlfriend is becoming less enthusiastic.
Maybe your ex is starting to hedge on things like when you will be meeting up next. Perhaps they are expressing out loud their concerns about whether this is going to work, this relationship in which they rarely see you in person.
Then it happens. They breakup with you. Often it’s not a bad breakup, it just the connection fizzles out. Maybe their discontent and relationship worries have worn them down.
So how do you spice things back up?
Well, since your lover has probably forgotten just how wonderful you are, sometimes they need a reminder that someone could move in on you. Sometimes your ex needs a dose of reality to remind them you are available and free to to be with others. This might jolt them back to reality that they still love you and that their concerns about the relationship pale in comparison to the thought of losing you.
5. Connect With Your Long Distance Ex By Sending Them a Message in a Bottle
I often hear from clients that their ex girlfriend or boyfriend have blocked them on Facebook or other social media platforms. They tell me how their ex has unfriended them every where it counts. They feel completely pushed out and away, with no way to communicate to even explain how they feel. This was one of the reasons why I create Ex Girlfriend Recovery Pro as it serves as 484 page Guide on how to navigate through all kinds of breakup situations.
Just know that all is not lost.
Just because your ex is angry or stubborn or for whatever reason is making it near impossible for you to communicate, just know there is always a way, short of actually knocking on their door demanding answers. Consider sending your ex a message in a bottle. You are probably thinking this idea sounds old fashioned. But it is a practical, somewhat inventive way to get your message across.
Now this is not something you can do every week. It’s not like your ex long distance relationship partner is going to like receiving a message rolled up into a bottle every day. That would be crazy, right?
But you can send one. And you can make it count.
6. Strategic Texting After You Complete No Contact
I am still surprised at how many people whose LDR ex has broken up with them, yet they are still not taking any action to reach out. Perhaps their ex was really mean and told them to never call or text again. Well, what people say or do does not always reflect how they will feel later.
So once you have completed your no contact period, be sure to use the advice I recommend in my eBook Ex Girlfriend Recovery Pro on the type of texts you should send.
7. Give Your Ex LDR Partner a Passing Thru Alert
The game plan on how to get your long distance relationship breakup turning back to your favor doesn’t rely on one single tactic.
Success usually arrives in the ex relationship sphere when you try multiple things. Often, no single effort will result in success, but rather it’s a collection of things you do that can make a mark.
So consider this. This approach is a bit different than my earlier suggestion of planning a trip and staying in the city where your ex resides. With this tactic what you would be doing is giving your ex a heads up that you will be passing thru their area on your way to another location.
The idea is to get your ex thinking wistfully about all those good times you both once enjoyed and perhaps those thoughts coupled with the realization you are going to be coming by will be enough for your ex to agree to meet you briefly.
It can be so tempting to see your ex, particularly if there are no strings attached and if the meet up is only brief because after all, you are just passing thru, right!
You have a schedule to keep, right! So give this a try and be sure to play it off as something low key so as to not create undue expectations or pressures.
8. Create For Your LDR Partner This Unforgettable Image of You Through A Photo Series
This idea fits in with your overall social media strategy. But let’s flush it out more since it deals with leveraging the use of photos to showcase your value. You see, that is what attraction is largely about. It’s getting your long distance relationship ex to realize that you are valued and sought after.
So a series of images that remind your ex just how special you are can go a long ways in wetting their appetite to see and hear from you.
I once advised a women client to set up a glamorous, somewhat sexy photo shoot and then just share it with her closest of friends and to have it strategically leaked to her ex. Low and behold he saw it and went crazy with desire.
He then insisted that he would meet up with his ex and asked her to bring the long distance relationship breakup letter he had written so he could tear it up in front of her. The power of images sometimes can move people in ways you never imagined.
9. Desperately Seeking Help: Get The Word To Him or Her That You Need Some Assistance
Sometimes to draw someone out is to make it appear you are a bit desperate for their help.
I am not talking about help that relates to the relationship, but the kind of assistance that deals with something else. It could be a serious appliance failure. Or maybe you explain your vehicle needs repair or you are stranded. Certainly there is something you can think of that will cause this long distance relationship ex to come running to aid you.
It’s a particularly good tactic for women as men typically like saving the damsel in distress.
Perhaps you can make it even easier for them by timing it such that you know they will be available, but they need to come right now. Maybe you plan it where you are actually in their town and something went wrong and now you desperately need your ex’s assistance.
10. Arrange With Your LDR Ex For a Casual Meet Up For Closure
So with this tactic, you are going to create this sense of capitulation and agreement.
You want your ex to think you have relented and agree to all of his or her reasoning as to why it is best to end the relationship. You are going to be most agreeable, even arguing your ex’s case for them. You are going to be very understanding and even empathetic, explaining how you admire how strong they have been in arriving at this decision because you were not able to see things clearly.
Yep, a little ego stroking can go a long way.
So in a way, you are using a form of reverse psychology, but there is a catch. What you are doing is laying a little trap because what you want to happen is to get them to agree to actually meet up in person so you can express your gratitude for how wonderful they have been and how wise and maturely they are handling this situation. You are going to explain that it would be nice to put a cap of closure on what was a nice relationship.
Also, maybe there is something you need to return to them. Or perhaps you have a small gift you want to give it to them as your last goodbye. Of course you will assure them the gift is nothing really special so they don’t feel too guilty, but you want them to have it anyway.
You can also make your offer to see them this one last time very tempting, but in a subtle way. You can say you will be driving near their region at a certain time. Once they commit to seeing you, utilize the opportunity to build on the positive things you said about them and let the conversation take its natural course.
Remember, what you are trying to do is plant some seeds of doubt in their mind about giving up someone so special. Hence, this approach is just a part of a larger tapestry of tactics you are employing.