It’s never easy when your ex girlfriend has moved on. But later when you find out that she has somebody else in her life, it can feel like a knife through the heart.
Of course, the first question a lot of my clients have is whether this other relationships she is having is really nothing but a rebound relationship and soon she will be bored or or realize she made a huge mistake.
And quite possibly you are right. When a girl quickly ends up in the arms of some other guy, shortly after the breakup, this question of a rebound may be at play here.
But that need not be the only reason why your ex girlfriend got in deeply with this other guy.
Before we proceed with showing you how you can recover from a rebound, let make sure we are all taking the same language.
What is a rebound relationship?
Before we go much further in this discussion, let’s talk about rebound relationships, what they are and why your ex girlfriend may have been attracted to the idea of trying one out. I try to flush out a lot of this and much more in my epic Guide, “Ex Girlfriend Recovery Pro“, so don’t forget to take a look at this one of a kind resource!
A rebound relationship is one in which your partner, after breaking up with you gets involved with someone else to offset the pain of having had to part with you. This word “rebound” refers to how quickly these other relationships can get started. A rebound relationship is often marked by a need for your ex to find somebody that will tell them things they need to hear or do things for them now you are no longer in the picture. In a way, a rebound relationship fills an emotional or physical gap.
Here are some of the characteristics of the rebounding phenomenon:
- A rebound relationship marks the person’s need to feel they matter. It can make them feel needed, even loved.
- You know you are in a rebound when you are just using it to feel better about your loss
- A rebound relationship can sometimes give your partner sexual satisfaction, though it may create endless comparisons to you which can doom it from lasting very long.
- You know you are stuck in a rebound relationship when you want to end it not much sooner than after it got started.
You see, a rebound is often defined as how quickly they can get started, but they don’t tend to have any lasting power. They are often temporary places for your ex to retreat to in order to satisfy their emotional needs of feeling loved and desired. Sometimes your ex girlfriend can enter into a rebound relationship in a reckless way, after a night of partying or with revenge in mind. Usually in these cases, the impact of the rebound on your ex girlfriend is far more negative, than it is helpful or healthy.
What does it mean when we say “the grass is greener”
Sometimes it may look like your ex girlfriend is getting mixed up in a rebound relationship, but in reality she is exploring a more serious kind of relationship called the grass is greener.
She may still be fuming over what she thinks are your failures or inadequacies and is thinking she can do much better for herself. This line of reasoning can lead her into getting involved with some other guy she might already know thinking it will be what she has been looking for all along.
But sometimes the outcome is not what she had hoped for and the more time she spends with this other man, the more she comes to value some of the aspects of your relationship she previously took for granted.
It’s natural for us all to want more, thinking we can do better in the love department. So sometimes women will feel compelled to explore the field just to test themselves and learn what it feels like to be with someone else.
7 Ways To Get Your Ex Girlfriend to End Their Rebound Relationship and Take You Back
So let’s discuss what you can do now to potentially lure your ex girlfriend back over to you. Obviously, there are reasons why she broke up with you. And those have to be addressed. But now your ex girlfriend has, so it seems, gotten herself involved in a rebound relationship. Without a doubt, things have gotten more complicated.
But there are some things you can do (or not do) to help yourself get back in her good graces. For starters, if you have not already done so, pick up my eBook, “Ex Girlfriend Recovery Pro” as it outline an entire strategy on how you go about trying to win her back.
1. Don’t Attack Her For Getting Involved With a Rebound Guy.
Many of my clients tell me how upsetting it is to see and hear about their ex girlfriend getting cozy with another guy. And if they get the opportunity to talk to their ex about it, things usually don’t turn out well.
But you see, it’s a mistake to attack your ex girlfriend for her decision to date another guy. The reality is that she does not belong to you. And the more you try to control her or run her down for getting mixed up with another man, whether its a rebound dude or not, it will backfire on you.
The last thing she needs right now is another lecture from you about how terrible she is to get mixed up with this other guy. It will do you no good to attack her. It’s better to take a more curious approach (at least she will be curious) in which you insist you want the best for her.
Imagine what she will be thinking when you tell her, “sure, it hurts to see someone else in your life, but I trust you are doing what is right for you right now”. Let her puzzle over that.
2. Unless you are in No Contact, remain cordial and friendly. Don’t Make Things Easy For Her.
Sometimes the best way to destroy this other relationship is by remaining friendly and cordial with your ex girlfriend. Eventually, this approach you take will get back to her rebound guy who may get jealous and insecure which in turn can plant the seeds for him to succumb to destructive behavior.
Your ex girlfriend may be looking for confirmation that you are all the awful things she has conjured up in her mind. So don’t hand your ex girlfriend any ammunition that she can use against you. One part of her knows that you will likely be incredibly jealous and upset that she is seeing someone else now. But don’t play to those crude expectations she has of you. Take the high road.
3. Enlist Her Friend To Create Some Doubt About Her Decision To Date Again
If you can find a confederate that has your girlfriend’s ear, then this will be the time to get her to sew some doubt in your ex girlfriend’s mind about the wisdom of seeing this other guy.
Remember, most rebound relationships are by definition fragile. It might not take much to create some friction between her and her newfound boyfriend.
You should not underestimate the power of doubt. It’s likely that your ex girlfriend already has some doubts about entering into the new relationship. She herself may have suspected that it had some rebound overtones to it.
So there is no wrong in allowing these doubts to gain a foothold.
4. Sometimes Employing No Contact Can Give You the Edge
So let’s say your ex girlfriend has taken on a rebound relationship. It is possible she may want you to know about it because she is hoping it will trigger some jealousy and put her one up on you.
But if you play your cards right and don’t show her your reaction and stay true to your use of No Contact Rule, it may lead to her finally pushing her rebound guy to the side.
You see, that is the power of No Contact. It allows emotions to subside and logic and common sense to return. And if there is something rushed or that is off about this new guy your ex gf has taken up with it, it going to be revealed in good time.
So don’t get in your own way by constantly trying to woo her over to your side. Give her room to learn for herself what she really wants. And it probably isn’t this new rebound guy she got mixed up with.
5. Don’t Try To Openly Sabotage the Other Rebound Relationship
The worst mistake you can make is thinking you can either talk your ex girlfriend out of seeing her new boyfriend or visibly doing things to try to split them apart.
You have heard of the principle of, “for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction“, right?
Well, it applies to the physics of our world, but it also has application to relationships. If you try to brute force your ex girlfriend to stop seeing someone, it will likely make her want to see him even more. If you try to guilt trip your ex girlfriend to ending what you think is a rebound relationship, then she will likely try even harder to make it work to prove you wrong.
6. Play Her Game – Show Her You Have Options Too
Sometimes you have to fight fire with fire.
So let’s say your ex girlfriend has a new boyfriend. Maybe it is an obvious mistake. She knows it. And you know it. Perhaps you both know it won’t last. But she is dating again and it’s clear to you that she is trying to make a point.
But instead of going on attack and criticizing her awful decision, what if you followed suit. What if you also decided to ask somebody out and simply hang out.
Now I would caution you that you have to be careful about upping the ante such that you make all of this way too public and allude to intimacy connections and all the rest.
That could make things even worse as she may think she is going to one up you and throw herself into a deeper more intimate experience with her rebound guy.
But if you handle it all with class and let it known that what you were doing was having just a friendly, non romantic date, even that in itself will carry a sufficient punch and will register on your ex girlfriend radar.
7. Send Her the Surprise of Her Lifetime – It’s What She is Really Looking For
So now its time to get across the finish line.
Maybe you are starting to see signs that things are not working out so well with your ex girlfriend and her new found boyfriend. Maybe they split up or you heard from your ex that she really was not seriously into him.
Girls will usually find a way to show their availability and openness to revisiting the past. So once you see that opportunity, it may be time to grab her attention in a positive and somewhat dramatic way.
So plan something special for your ex girlfriend and spring it on her. Make it something she cannot ignore.
In a lot of these situations, after a sufficient period of time has gone by, your ex girlfriend will be ripe for the picking. But its going to take doing something for her that qualifies as surprising or romantic.
Whatever the gesture is you settle on, be sure to spring it on her with some flair so she knows a good bit of thought and planning went into it all.