By Chris Seiter

Updated on July 9th, 2022

It can be a petrifying experience when you discover that your girlfriend has slept with someone else.

Even if you only suspect that your girlfriend is up to something, it can be unsettling. How can you really tell if she is hooking up with another guy?

There is little in this world that strikes so deep, causing fear and anxiousness to rise up than fearing that your girlfriend has taken a lover.

This is the case whether the woman is your current girlfriend or even if she is your ex.

Either way, thinking your girlfriend or your ex is sleeping with some other guy can be overwhelming.

So the sooner you can figure out what she is up to, the better off you will be.

So let me give you an Expert’s Abbreviated Answer to how to know if your girlfriend (or ex) is sleeping around behind your back.

  • Look for certain signs of nervousness, quiet spells, and mood swings. These behavioral clues are like bread crumbs telling you her habits are changing to some degree.  Her guilt over cheating, behind your back, could be taking its toll
  • Evaluate whether she is paying more attention to her physical appearance (e.g. dress, hairstyle, makeup).
  • Take note of whether your girlfriend is pulling away at either an intimate level or on a personal level. Look at changes to her schedule and and a reduced interest in doing things with you.
  • Consider if she is acting a tad bit secretive with her plans and whereabouts; more frequent use of her cell phone; the timing and frequency of  sending and receiving text messages.

These are some of the small clues that your girlfriend might have met another guy.

If over time you are checking off a lot of these clues, then something could be going on.

Your “Go To Guide” About Whether Your Girlfriend (or Your Ex) Is Sleeping With Another Guy

book on cheating signs

If you are looking for a Guide that can answer just about every conceivable question you might have about your current girlfriend or your ex girlfriend’s and what they might be up to in the hanky panky department, you have come to the right place.

If you think she is shacking up with some other man, having the time of her life, be assured that there will be telltale breadcrumbs to follow.

We are going to follow the trail and examine this concern many guys have about their girlfriend being unfaithful.

We are going to look into all the dark places where your girlfriend might not want you to go.

And along the way, you are going to come up to speed on a variety of things related to this topic.

Think of this Guide as your special FAQ that is designed to help you with those things you should be aware of and better yet, what you can do about it if you discover your girlfriend is cheating on you.

We are also going to come at this from an ex girlfriend perspective.

If she and you broke up and suddenly you suspect think she is with another guy, we will offer you some pointers on what you might want to do (or not do).

After all, chances are you still want her back and despite all the inner turmoil you might be experiencing over your suspicions she is already sleeping with some guy, you will want to keep you.

I will show you how to navigate through this maze.

So dig in and soak up some knowledge. It is likely you will find some helpful tips for the situation you are facing.

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Girlfriend Back?

Take the quiz

7 Top Signs That Your Girlfriend or Ex Just Slept With Someone Else

changing her look

Knowing what to look for is important if you really want to get to the bottom of this worry you have about your girlfriend being with another guy.   So what are the signs that might suggest that your girlfriend has slept with someone else?

What are the little clues and cues she unconsciously reveals?

Well, there are quite a few things to consider.

But so that your head doesn’t start spinning around as you begin to suspect every single little thing she does or doesn’t do, let’s just focus on the Top 7 Signs that your girlfriend (or even your ex) has been sleeping with somebody else.

You want to know, right?  One part of you probably wants to not think about whether she is capable of such a thing.  It is not unnatural reaction to look the other way.

Going into denial is not uncommon.  I mean, who really wants to think about such a thing.

It can make you plum sick to the stomach.

But I know you didn’t come here because you are in denial.

You probably suspect your girlfriend or your ex girlfriend is up to something and it may not be good.  Maybe you heard something.

Perhaps your girlfriend or ex is acting a little bit weird.

So let’s get into it and figure out whether there is any there, there.  And remember, just because your girlfriend or your ex is exhibiting a few of these Signs, doesn’t mean she is having sex with some other dude.

What you should look for is a consistent pattern of these kinds of clues playing out, over time.

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Girlfriend Back?

Take the quiz

1. Why Does Your Girlfriend Pay Less Attention To You When She Is Sleeping With Some Other Guy?

Now, this could be nothing.  So don’t jump to a conclusion she has found some man who is making her happy and you are on your way out.

But you shouldn’t ignore telltale signs that your girlfriend is showing less interest and attention to you.

Little cues can start piling up really fast.

She don’t call or text you as much. When you are with her, she seems a bit distracted. Maybe melancholic.

For guys who have gone through a breakup, you wouldn’t necessarily expect to hear from your ex girlfriend very much.

But if she has gone stone cold and communications are practically non existent and your are hearing rumors, you got to wonder what this stony silence is all about.

2. The Act of Sleeping With Someone Else Could Cause Your Girlfriend To Be Hesitant to Make Love With You – Intimacy is Suffering

less sex with you

One of the common things that happens when a girl, who is in a current relationship, meets and gets really serious about another guy is she will reach a crossroads.

Either she will pull away from this other relationship or she will get sucked in.

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Girlfriend Back?

Take the quiz

If your girlfriend or ex girlfriend falls for some other dude, then chances are they will have sex.  Now she is in a pickle.

Sleeping with this other man may be exciting and all the feelings she has about this new relationship will be new and exhilarating.

So naturally, when she goes back to being with you, your girlfriend will suffer pangs of guilt over betraying her new lover.

Crazy, right!

Now you are probably thinking “why would she feel guilty about being with me”.  After all, you are her boyfriend.

Yes you are, but your girlfriend may think that she has struck up something really special with this other guy.

So to protect this “new love”, she may be reluctant to sleep with you.  Excuses may ensue.

The emotional and physical intimacy you both once had, could slowly diminish.

3. Is Your Girlfriend (Or Your Ex) Changing Her Appearance or Paying More Attention to Her Looks To Feel Attractive To This Other Man?

If your girlfriend is sleeping around, there is a good chance she will be extra sensitive to how she looks.  Instinctively she will want to please her new lover.

If the relationship the two of you had has been in place for a good spell, then there is probably a level of comfort and security she has about being around you.

This also applies to how she looks.

She is not trying to attract you as much as she did when the two of your were dating.

But with this new man in her life (remember I am just assuming your girl or ex girlfriend is sleeping around on you) she will be extra sensitive to looking good for him.

She might change her way of dress.  She may take more time to do her makeup.

Her hairstyle might change (i.e. a new hair style for a new relationship so goes her subconscious thinking).  You may notice she is wearing more perfume.

The bottom line is that she might be doing more things to look good than she has in the past and it might not be for you.

It could be for the other man who she is sharing a bed with.

4. Will Your Girlfriend Over Compensate Due To Guilt Of Being With Another Man

You bet she will. Sometimes guilt can act on us to do things that are somewhat outside our normal pattern of behavior.

You girlfriend, including your ex girlfriend (if that is the situation you are in) is largely a creature of habit.

So if she starts behaving oddly and going out of her way to make sure you are OK and calling in to check on you, just know that there are a lot of things bouncing around in her head.

Part of her may feel guilty and fearful that you, her steady boyfriend, might suspect something.

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Girlfriend Back?

Take the quiz

So what does she do?  She checks in, to see if you are acting different or if you are on to her.

She might over compensate for her guilt by impulsively saying complimentary things about you.

She might suddenly suggest you and her have dinner together.

Often, this is her way of easing her guilt and fear and easing her uncertainty about what this new chapter in her life really means.

Ideas & Tactics You Won’t Find On My Website!

She is now sleeping with someone else and while part of her is excited about that, another part of her dreads the notion of you ever finding out what she has been doing behind your back.

Another part of her is uncertain what she should do in the long run.  All these emotions will pull and tug away at your little honey.

5. Why is Your Girlfriend (or Ex Girlfriend) Turning Into a Jumble of Nerves With Huge Mood Swings?

mood swings

If your girlfriend has taken up with another guy, chances are that she is going to act like a nervous wreck.

You would likely see an increase in her mood swings, ranging from happiness and excitement to periods of uncertainty, even depression.

The weight of trying to carry on two relationships, one with you her steady, reliable boyfriend who she probably still values; and a new relationships with a new man in her life that has now turned sexual – this is not an easy life experience to manage.

It will likely wear on her, turning her into a bit of a nervous wreck at times.

Your girlfriend (even your ex if you are still seeing her) will eventually have emotional flip outs.

If your woman is sleeping around on you, chances are that paranoia will not be that far below the surface.

6.  If Your Girlfriend Is Having An Affair With Someone Else,  She Will Probably Act Overly Secretive,  Suspicious and Evasive

Even if we are talking about your ex girlfriend, she will not want you to know about her new boyfriend.  She will be suspicious of all your reactions.

She will act like she is hiding something and you will pick up on these cues when she does odd sneaky little things in a restless way.

She may check her phone more often.  She may often check in with you to make sure you don’t suspect.

You may catch her making plans, then lying about them later.

Sneaky Times!

Deception is one of the big signs of cheating.

Your girlfriend is building up an elaborate house of lies and it is difficult to keep up with them and keep misleading you over and over again about all kinds of things.

Eventually it catches up, particularly if she having sex with someone that is NOT you.

7.  She Has Made Herself Unavailable – Or Your Ex Girlfriend Is Hiding Out From You

If your woman met someone else and is now sleeping with him, she sure doesn’t want you to know.

In the back of her mind, she may still think there is a chance the two of you might get back together again.

If you are looking for a blueprint of how women behave when they are sleeping around, then just pay attention to their schedule and availability.

If there are lots of instances in which she seems to be avoiding you and makes up excuses about whether she can be with you for lunch or dinner, then something could be going on.

The key is looking for patterns.  Most of us live busy lives and things can happen. Plans change.

But you have to wonder what might be going on with your girlfriend if you get this unmistakable feeling she is hiding out from you.

What Are Some of The Top Questions I Get From Men About Their Girlfriends (or Ex Girlfriends) Possibly Falling For Someone Else?

falling for another guy

Think of this as the FAQ Section of this Guide.

It is impossible to guess what every person’s particular situation is about.

So I am going to pose some common questions about ex girlfriends, wives, girlfriends, and budding romances that have gone sideways because of suspicions of sleeping around; then I will give you a short reply to help you see your way to some solution.

If you are looking for greater detail, then by all means, feel free to peruse my website as I have a ton of resources.


Will I ever be able tell if she likes someone else and is really falling for some other guy?

Chances are that if you follow my 7 step guide which I outline above, you are going to stumble across some clues that might lead you to the truth of what your girlfriend or wife is up to.

If we are talking about your ex girlfriend or ex wife, then take note that a lot of these tips will help you deduce if your ex is really getting serious about another guy.

It is hard to hide your true feelings, particularly from someone you have been close to and knows what to look for.

Will I ever know the truth about whether my girlfriend has cheated on me?

Despite all these tips and your focus on picking up on leading indicators that your girlfriend is being naughty, you may never know if something truly happened.

Guard against becoming paranoid.

I laid out some of the most common Signs of Deception and it stands to reason that if your girlfriend or ex is truly seeing someone, it is going to be hard to hide it from you for a long period of time.

But don’t go crazy thinking about this stuff, unless the signs are strong and are happening consistently.

If that is the case, you are going to want to initially do some gentle probing.  Her response could be revealing.

But unless you have significant proof that your girlfriend has betrayed you, give her the benefit of the doubt.

You don’t want to lose her by constantly checking up on her, making her feel uncomfortable.

Can My Boyfriend Tell If I Slept With Someone Else?

If you are coming at this question from a female perspective and are wondering what are your chances of being caught by your boyfriend if you are fooling around, just know that the odds are stacked against you.

Think of it this way.

The longer the affair goes on, the greater the chances that you will be discovered and if you truly love your boyfriend, then running around on him is a fool’s errand.

As long as I have been in this business of helping guy and gals with their relationships, rarely do I see good endings come from being unfaithful.

Most guys will eventually find out if you have slept with someone else, especially if the affair is still ongoing.

Trust me, I am not one of those kind of guys who will hold the bible up and damn you for any notions you might have to fornicate.

As long as time exists, boyfriends and girlfriends are going to get caught out in situations where they end up screwing someone that they are not suppose to.

And no matter how careful you are, sleeping around almost always catches up with you.

Why lose a boyfriend you love over a foolish choice?  It’s the opposite of that Nike commercial.  Just Don’t Do It!

And if your are in the middle of an affair, find a way to end it before you lose it all.

Hey, What About When Guys Mess Around?  What Are The Signs He’s Sleeping With Someone Else?

It turns out the signs of your boyfriend or husband of sleeping around are very similar.  Guys and Gals are both pretty predictable when it comes to leaving these little bread crumbs behind.

It is been my observation that men are bit more sloppy and do a worse job of covering the cheating tracks.

So ladies, if you suspect your guy of messing around, tread along the same path I laid above.  You should pick up plenty of clues.

Does It Matter That I Slept With Someone Else While Dating?

It certainly matters if you care about your primary relationship.

While some couples, who are in the early stages of their relationship may have an understanding that they are free to date others, in most cases no matter how how mature and agreeable you think you both might be about such a scenario, it usually will take its toll on the primary relationship.

If you are developing more than casual feelings for someone, then you should care about possibly being discovered if you are sleeping with another person.

It is best to nip in the bud any that sexual activity you are having with someone else and have a discussion about an exclusive relationship.

Sleeping Around Can Land You In Trouble

As I have mentioned, there is a short fuse on how long you can go about sleeping with another guy before you are found out.

Trying to keep it all together is never easy on you emotionally.

Sooner or later, when guys and gals mess around on their girlfriends or boyfriends, it catches up with you.

Then all holy hell will break out.  And you will think, “how could I be so stupid”.

My Ex Girlfriend Is Dating Someone Else Already and It Hurts  –  I Want Her Back

she found another dude

If you feel your ex gf is seeing someone else already, don’t think that your times with her are all over.  Consider taking on this Breakup Strategy:

  • Give her some space.  Remember, it is just a date and it may very well just blow up in her face, causing her to miss you even more than she already probably does. Your first reaction might be to reach out and question her about her intentions.  Jealousy will fill you with anger, even rage.  You have to let go of that because if she feels you trying to prevent her from living her life, further complications will ensue.


  • Employ the No Contact Rule.  Not only does this allow you both to get better, but it sets up structure and a plan going forward.


  • Realize this could be a jealousy play on her part.  So don’t take the bait.  Give your ex girlfriend her time with this other guy.  Accept you can’t control everything.  And chances are this guy may not measure up to you and will remind her of all the things she likes about you.


  • Seeking revenge is NOT your best strategy going forward.  So don’t go out and party it up with a bunch of girls and post pics everywhere on social media.  But there will later come a time where you can use some subtle jealousy plays of your own.


  • Don’t give your ex girlfriend more ammunition to use against you by freaking out about her exploits with other men.  You have to be the cool cat, not the victim.  So the last thing you want to do is go asking around of her friends about how her date turned out. All that does is put you in a weakened position of getting her back. It might make you come off as looking desperate to get your ex gf back in your life.

Could My Ex Be In A Rebound Relationship To Punish Me?

she is killing me

I can’t deny it.  Hurting or punishing you could be in her mind.  But so too are lots of other things as she grapples with what this breakup really means to her life.

So if your ex has been hanging out with some other guy, it is perfectly natural to feel the whiplash of what it all means.

Chances are your ex gf is in a rebound relationship and it doesn’t really mean a lot.  It is natural for her to feel a little lonely.

She may feel rejected. Her feelings may be bruised as a result of the horrendous breakup the two of you went through.

Your ex girlfriend may be seeking to test you or even herself, so what better way than seeing someone else.

I know that it hurts and you want her back.  I know you can’t stand the thought that this girl who you may have only recently held in your arms, is now embracing some other dude.

Everything You Want To Know About Rebound Relationships 

But just know that if she says she is in love with someone else, particularity if she makes this declaration shortly after things ended with the two of you, just know that it may not be love that she is feeling.

In a lot of these cases, when your ex girlfriend is seeing other guys, it does necessarily mean that it is all done between you and her.

You might think things are cooked, but the deep feelings between you and her don’t just dry up overnight.

That is not how these deeply forged emotional connections work.

I have seen cases where the girl was seeing another guy and it turned out to be simply a friend.  Just platonic.

And I have also seen cases where your lady is determined to teach you a lesson, so she hooks up with your best friend.

Yep, things can get tricky fast.

So learning how to cope when your ex is dating someone new in an obvious effort to torch you will be an important lesson to learn.

The race usually goes to the one who takes it slow and steady, not giving in to the anger rising up.


My Ex Girlfriend Is Stringing Me Along – What Do I Do?

my ex is stringing me along

What you should do when you feel your ex girlfriend is stringing you along is first realize that she must really still like you a lot.

I know this back and forth kind of behavior you might be receiving from your ex is confusing and disconcerting.

But underneath it all is usually a women who still feels connected to you.  Why would she invest so much effort?

She may be looking for something that will confirm you both still have a chance together.  Or she could be looking for reasons to simply end the failed romance forever.

So don’t give her any reasons.  When you feel like your ex is stringing you along, maintain a steady, mature, and kind demeanor.

Kindness rules the day when it comes to these touch and go breakup situations.

She will be expecting the opposite.  Like I said, she may be testing you.

She may not even be aware of it.  So keep things cool.

My Ex Is Confusing Me – Now She is  Dating Another Girl!

That would be confusing, wouldn’t it.

It is rare, but not completely out of bounds if your Ex is now dipping her toe on the other side of the pool.

She may have confused feelings around her sexual identity.

Or not.

Maybe she has always known that she liked girls and in her heart she is not looking for another boyfriend, but rather a girlfriend.

So let things run it’s course.

Some people say it is unnatural and something is wrong with your girlfriend.  I am not so quick to judge on matters of sexual identity.

I tend to think we all come into this world with certain sexual preferences in a preset mode.

I seriously doubt our environment and what we experience in our lives is going to change that preset.

If your girlfriend’s behavior is reflecting inner confusion or if she is exploring, in time she will discover her true path.

Support whatever that path is.

What Does It Mean When My Girlfriend Starts Seeing Someone Else But Still Contacts Me

For starters it can mean a lot of things when your girlfriend insists on seeing somebody else but still wants to talk with you and connect with you.

Here are the likely explanations for what she might be up to.

  • She is really confused and doesn’t know yet what she wants.  It is like your girlfriend is having an internal tug of war, trying to figure out whether she should give you up and how that will make her feel.


  • It could be that your girl is screwing with you.  She might be playing some mind games to make you jealous.  It is likely not something she is doing to punish you.  While her two timing actions that are unfolding in your full view can be mind numbing to you, it may feel perfectly natural to her.


  • She might rationalize that she likes you both and doesn’t yet want to give up either of you. But this situation is not sustainable.  She risks losing you both.  Until she figures that out, she might just keep this behavior up.  Eventually your girlfriend will wise up and choose.  You can help her choose wisely with the right tactics.


  • It could be your girlfriend is simply selfish.  She wants everything her way.  She might be use to guys fawning over her and accepting her relationship games.  It could be a jealousy ploy.  She might be curious how you will react and push the limits.  It is a dangerous game some girls play and it often backfires.  You would be wise not to play along.  Calmly call her out on it.	

Related Articles