By Chris Seiter

Updated on July 9th, 2022

So it happened.  Your ex girlfriend ghosted you and now you wonder if she will every come back or if you will ever hear from her again.

Part of you might ask yourself, “is she ghosting me or just busy”.

We will get into that and help you understand when you can be sure that you are on the wrong end of ghosting.  I will also teach you how to deal with being shut out of your ex girlfriend’s life – never hearing a peep out of her.

To say the least, if it’s happening to you now as we speak, I know it is an awful feeling.  It is one of the worse forms of rejection a guy can experience in his life. You are going to probably need some help navigating through all this. That is why I put together a first rate Ex Recovery Plan to help you through the dark days.

So that is one way ghosting can unfold in your life.  You become its victim.

But it can go the other way too. You could be the ghost and she is the one wondering about what happened to you.

So if that’s what’s going on, then naturally you will wonder what your chances are of winning her back if you ghosted her.

Actually they are better than you are probably thinking.

What Is Ghosting

being ghosted

You probably have a good idea what it means if it is happening to you because the term essentially describes what is going on.

When your ex disappears from your life to the extent that you don’t see or hear from her for a long time, then you have been ghosted.

It is usually something your ex girlfriend does intentionally for various reasons.

Sometimes it is a reflection of your ex’s selfish self.  They don’t want to bother with working on the relationship.  So they just retreat into their own world – a world that they think at the time you don’t belong in.

So yes, in many respects its a selfish act.

But being ghosted by your ex can also be an act of desperation.  They may be so upset that they don’t want to face up to any of the problems.

Or maybe your ex did or said something they now feel ashamed about so instead of doing the mature thing and talk it out, they avoid you completely.

Or maybe you did something that just really pissed them off, so ghosting is their form of punishment.

Out of sight, out of mind is the way people often process this behavior.  Its a form of avoidance which sometimes ends up making everyone feel worse.

But it can be more complicated than that.

Your ex girlfriend can sometimes live in a world of denial and as time goes by, momentum builds and instead of righting a wrong by talking to you about it all, your ex may continue to avoid any contact.  They may be afraid to reach out at this stage.

So for some, it’s a defense mechanism that kicks in.  It’s like they choose the wrong path and can’t get off.  For others, ghosting becomes their cruel and selfish way of dealing with relationship difficulties.

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Girlfriend Back?

Take the quiz

Can You Get Her Back if She is Ghosting You?

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Girlfriend Back?

Take the quiz

So is it possible to pick up the pieces of a broken relationship if you were ghosted by your ex girlfriend? Or vice versa?

You may be thinking what do I text her after being ghosted to bring an end to this madness.

Or if you are the one who has resorted to walking completely out of your ex girlfriend’s life, you may be wondering if you should apologize for ghosting her.

I sometimes get clients who are hurt and angry after their ex casts them aside.  So they will ask me how they should get ghosting revenge. I always tell them that if that is what they came to me for, I can’t help.

But I can help you if you are still interested in getting her back after she pulled out of your life.  Consider this Five Step Ex Recovery Plan when your ex girlfriend has resorted to ghosting.

5 Steps Of Getting An Ex Back After Being Ghosted

  1. Whatever is going on with her will be sorted out in due time.  Your focus should be on dealing with the healing and recovery needed to move you past the pain you are experiencing.
  2. Employing No Contact Rule can help you not only with your own recovery and growth, but ensures that you won’t immediately respond if they should suddenly change their mind and try to contact you.  If you responded to them immediately following being ghosted, you would be falling back into their control.
  3. When you do decide to make contact with your ex, make sure its on your terms and after a meaningful No Contact period.
  4. Embrace what I call the Holy Trinity.  This is where you focus your efforts on being the best version of yourself across three key areas: Health, Wealth, and Relationships.  Doing this will give you a new perspective about a great many things.
  5. If your ex ghosts you without explanation for more than sixty days, then you should give careful consideration to moving on and putting them into your rear view mirror.  You deserve better.

What Are Your Chances Of Getting Her To Forgive You If You Ghosted Her

you ghosted your ex

So what should you do if you are the one who ghosted your ex girlfriend?

Why do guys do this and how do you go about getting on her good side again after ignoring her so completely for so long?

I have talked to guys who have resorted to ghosting.  Some of them tell me they do it because they are fed up and don’t want to deal with the problems of the relationship.  Unfortunately,  when you ghost your ex you often end up making things worse.

That is why it’s often best to have a Blueprint you can follow to help you through all of this.

It’s OK to sometimes to get away from it all and blow off some steam.  But if the days of ghosting grow into many days, weeks, or months and your ex has no clue what has happened and why you decided to end things without explanation, then you will find yourself in an uphill battle if you want her back in your life.

Imagine if the shoe was on the other foot.

What if she just dropped off your radar and ended things with you when you thought everything was OK?  You would be confused, hurt, and upset.

Well, this is what she is likely feeling.  So jumping right back into the relationship is seldom the right path to take.

Nevertheless, if you want her back after disappearing to go lick your wounds or live it up or whatever you were doing during this ghosting period, you are going to have to work to rebuild her trust.

Your chances of getting her back will depend greatly on many individual factors such as how long you were together, how you interacted during the relationship, the events that led up to you disappearing from her life, how long you ghosted her, and others.

Consider this 3 step plan if you are looking to optimize your chances.

Step 1: Explain Your Behavior

Send her a warm up text message telling her you feel ashamed about how you behaved in ignoring her.

Explain to her that she did nothing wrong. Tell her you were going through a personal crisis and felt you needed to be away from everybody.

Express to her that you now have a better grip on reality and what is important, but that you understand you will need to earn back her trust.  State to her that you would fully understand if she did not wish to talk or see you right now.

If she does respond to your message, proceed slowly and be forthright, seeking to answer any questions she has.  Avoid conflict.  Seek to rebuild trust. Ask about her and be empathetic.  Think in terms of small steps and little moves.

Step 2: If She is Receptive – Ask Her If You Can Call Her

If your ex girlfriend is willing to forgive you for dropping off the radar, then the next step after communicating with her via text is to try and have a voice to voice conversation.

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Girlfriend Back?

Take the quiz

The idea here is not to dwell on the past or fill the airwaves with your apologies.  You have done that already.  It’s time to move forward and seek to rebuild trust and share some positive moments together.

Step 3: The Meet-up Should Be Right Around The Corner

Now that you have regained some trust and communications are underway, it’s time to meet up.

The idea here is not to jump right back into how things use to be.  Treat this as a time to slowly continue to rebuild trust and strengthen the connection.

She might not say it out loud, but your ex girlfriend may still be harboring some reservations.  So your goal is to listen to her and be supportive.

Don’t push to get her to commit to doing things she may not be ready to do.  Remember, you want to progress forward using the law of the little steps and moves.

Nothing too fast or too sudden.	

Related Articles