How To Impress Your Ex Girlfriend

Have you ever looked up the definition of “impress?”

To be honest there isn’t anything revolutionary about the definition.

What do I mean by that?

Well, it pretty much means what you think it would mean.

Impress: To make someone feel admiration and respect

But here is the interesting thing about definitions.

Usually when you go to the internet to type in a definition they come up with all these wonderful synonyms.

Do you care to take a guess at what the synonyms for impress are?











So, the question you are probably wondering at this point is,

How the heck can I make my ex girlfriend feel that about me?

Admittedly, it’s not going to be an easy process but that’s what I am here to teach you.

Welcome To Ex Girlfriend Recovery

If you are already a fan of the awesomeness that is Ex Girlfriend Recovery then you can skip this section and get right to the goods but if you are new to this site then I suggest you take a seat and listen to the greatest show on earth!

Ex Girlfriend Recovery is a resource for men (or women) who are looking to get their ex girlfriends back.

But that’s not what makes it so special/revolutionary.

After all, there are other websites out there that teach men how to get their ex girlfriends back.

What makes Ex Girlfriend Recovery different from the rest is the fact that I pride myself on writing the best content in the world on the topic.

While I will admit I still have a long ways to go before I can truly make that claim I will say that I’m not off to a bad start.


That’s kind of rude of me…

I just realized that I haven’t even introduced myself.

My name is Chris Seiter and I’m totally awesome,

superman chris

Ok, all kidding aside my name is Chris and I teach men and women how to get back with their exes.

I currently own and operate three successful websites in the relationship niche (including this one) and as weird as this is going to sound I genuinely enjoy helping people.

As you wade through all the information found in Ex Girlfriend Recovery you will notice that I am very responsive in the comments.

In other words, if you ask me a question I am usually going to answer it.

So, feel free to ask a question in the comments if you want more personalized advice or you are confused about something I say here on EGR.

Anyways, what were we talking about with this page?

Oh right… impressing your ex girlfriend.

I suppose the logical place to start would be talking about the ultimate misconception that men have.

The Ultimate Misconception Men Have About Impressing Women


I am going to ask you a simple question and I want you to answer it to the best of your ability.

In your opinion, what impresses a woman?

Think really hard before you answer.

I am already hearing answers like,

A Ferrari…


Having a bunch of money…


A six pack…

six pack

And while I will admit having all of those things will definitely impress a woman they won’t impress a woman in the long run.

Hmm… perhaps I should give you an example of what I mean.

Alright, lets pretend that we live in a fantasy world where you have all three of the things I mentioned above.

stick figure

And as a result of these three things you attract a beautiful woman who you end up dating. However, despite having all three of these things in your favor your personality sucks…

Oh, and when I say that it sucks I mean that it really sucks.

Like you are so freaking boring that a doorknob has a better personality.

So, after some time of dating you the girl eventually gets bored and leaves you.

Ultimately while the things like having a Ferrari, a lot of money and a fantastic physique will impress a woman at first eventually it wears off and it’s not so impressive to her anymore. This is important to understand especially when you are dealing with an ex girlfriend.


Because your ex girlfriend isn’t going to be impressed by things that already impressed her.

This is where my theory of “new makes more of an impression” comes into play.

The Theory Of “New Makes More Of An Impression”

new is better

What’s your favorite movie?


You know what, I don’t even know why I am asking you that because if you were to ask me I wouldn’t even have an answer.

There are just too many to choose from.

However, when it comes to movies I dig stuff that gives me “the feels.”

Now, I am not going to say that I have an ice cold heart but… I kind of do.

Just ask my wife, it’s really rare for me to cry but when something does make me cry I often don’t forget it.

Now, crying is often associated with something bad happening which I am sure you are an expert at right now due to your recent breakup but crying can also be good. For example, if you watch something that moves you so much tears start to form in your eyes.

Those are the kind of movies that I like.

So, if I were to pick a favorite movie it would probably be something that did that to me.

Here’s the thing I noticed though.

That feeling of being moved is usually a one time deal.

For example, lets say that I am watching movie A and it makes me cry due to being moved by the story.


And then a few days later I decide that I want to experience that feeling again so I decide to watch movie A one more time but I don’t cry this time around.


Have you ever asked yourself why that is?

It’s probably because I have already seen it and know exactly what to expect.

In other words, there was nothing new to experience.

And therein lies the theory of “new.”

An ex girlfriend isn’t going to be impressed by you pulling out the same things that impressed her the first time around. If you want to have any hope of impressing her the second time around you have to have new things to bring to the table.

Or if you want to stick with the movie analogy above.

You are going to have to show her an entirely “new movie” this time around that moves her as much as the “first movie” did.

In other words, you might have to acquire a few new impressive “actors” to star in your movie.

What Do I Mean By Actors?

I hate to keep re-iterating things over and over again but this example is too perfect not to.

I want you to think back to the example I gave of impressing a woman above with the ferrari, money and body.

Well, the first time your ex dated you these may have been attributes that impressed her.

These were the actors for your own personal movie.

However, the second time around she isn’t going to be as impressed by the same actors so you are going to have to “hire” a few new ones to star in the sequel.

(Are you getting tired of my movie analogies? Ok, I promise to stop.)

When it’s all said and done you are going to have to do a couple of things.

  1. Find something new to impress your ex
  2. Understand WHAT impresses her

Lets talk about understanding what impresses your ex girlfriend now.

Understanding What Impresses Ex Girlfriends

impressive most impressive

So, I would like to start this section off by saying that we aren’t looking for “short term impressing.”

Instead, we are looking for “long term impressing.”

Do you have any idea what I am talking about?

Ok, I’ll slow down for you so you can understand because this is kind of a big deal.

What Is Short Term Impressing?

It’s really quite simple.

Short Term Impressing- Something that impresses a woman a lot at first but loses it’s luster in the long run.

The Ferrari is a perfect example of this.

A Ferrari is… Well, a Ferrari.

There aren’t too many people in this world that won’t be impressed by it.

However, it’s kind of a one and done thing.

While a woman will be very impressed by it at first will she be in ten years?

Hmm… something tells me she won’t.

It’s sort of like when you get a new TV.

Imagine that you go out and get a new 65 inch super high definition TV and you absolutely love it,

big tv

However, after a few months pass of watching super high definition on your TV it starts to lose some of it’s gusto. One day you happen to be at your local Best Buy and you notice there is a bigger and better TV out.

Guess what?

Now you want that one.

The one you currently have is 65 inches and the new one is 78 inches.

When you come home and watch your 65 inch TV it’s not that impressive to you anymore,

big tv

This is the perfect explanation of short term impressing.

You see, initially the 65 inch TV was very impressive but after time the impression faded and was replaced with something new.

In other words, when it comes to impressing your ex girlfriend we don’t want to go after any type of short term gain because it’s not going to stand the test of time.

Instead, we want to focus our energies on impressing her in the long term.

What Is Long Term Impressing

Before I start this section I want to make one thing clear.

I am not quite sure it’s possible to impress someone for a life period.

What do I mean by that?

I mean that I don’t think that you can have one quality that will impress your ex girlfriend until the day she dies. Eventually the interest level will always fade.


How can I put this.

Ok, lets say that your ex girlfriend was always very impressed with your sense of humor.

Lets also assume that you get the happy ending that you want in getting her back and you end up marrying her.

So, here you are spending the rest of your life with her.

The two of you are around each other every single moment of every day and she has gotten so used to your sense of humor that, while she still laughs, she isn’t that impressed by it anymore. She has come to expect it from you.

Why am I showing you this example?

Because I don’t want you to be disappointed when you find out that even long term impressing has an expiration date. HOWEVER, it’s expiration date is actually a lot longer than short term impressing. In other words, if you can fascinate the hell out of your ex girlfriend with some long term impressing qualities it is going to be a lot more powerful down the road than short term impressing.

Now, that’s not to say that there isn’t a place for short term impressing… but more on that later.

Lets talk a little more about long term impressing.

Specifically examples of what it is.

Long Term Impressing- Having the ability to impress a woman in the long term. This usually revolves around a personality aspect of yours that will shine.

Lets talk about your ex girlfriend.

Specifically what she finds attractive in a man.

Surely the two of you have talked about this.

(If you need a list of what women are attracted to I suggest you check out PRO.)

Take a look at the picture below,

well dressed

I created this little graphic last week to describe the personality qualities that women are looking for in the “perfect man.” Now, does perfect exist?


But this is what a woman would consider to be a perfect man so lets use it to our advantage.

I want you to pick three of the qualities on the graphic above and once you have picked them I want you to do something out of the ordinary… I want you to become an expert at displaying them.

How Do You Become An Expert At Displaying Them?


You need to BECOME them.


What’s the best way I can explain this.

Ok, lets use our example of being funny above.

Humor isn’t something that you can just fake.

You are either funny or you aren’t.

It’s as simple as that.

So, what’s the best way of displaying that you are funny?


Lets talk about another example.

Let’s talk about being good with people.

Imagine that you were to walk into a room and you knew half the people in the room. In fact, not only did you know half the people in the room but half the people in the room liked you. Now, if your ex girlfriend is with you and all of these people started coming up to you and saying hi what is the first thing she is going to think?

“Wow, he is so popular.”

Now lets make this a bit more interesting.

Lets say that you are out eating at a restaurant and the waiter comes over and you start chatting him up and get him to open up to you. In fact, you get him to open up to you so much your ex girlfriend is super impressed sitting there watching it all.

What is she going to think now?

“Wow, he is so good with people.”

There is something very attractive about a man who can take charge and get others to like them.

It almost reminds me of that movie “Groundhog Day.”

Have you ever seen it?

Bill Murray…

Lives the same day over and over again?

There’s a groundhog….


Ok, the premise of the movie basically goes like this.

Bill Murray who starts off the movie very cynical gets trapped living the same day over and over again, groundhog day.

At first he freaks out and tries to figure out how this happened but eventually he starts to like the idea as he uses it to his advantage.

He robs from banks…

Sleeps with women…

Does everything advantageous to him…

But eventually the paradox of living in the same day and repeating it over and over again proves to be too much for him to handle so he decides to kill himself.

So he does…

Multiple times but no matter what he does he ends up waking up at 6:00 on Groundhog day every single day.

But then something interesting happens.

Instead of becoming depressed he tries to make the best of his situation.

He starts helping people.

He starts learning things.

Eventually he becomes an expert at almost everything imaginable.

Ice sculpting…

Piano playing…

People are drawn to him…

All in all his entire personality underwent an overhaul.

Cynicism has been replaced with positivity.

And by the end of the movie you get to see the amazing transformation in full.

Oh, I forgot to mention an important plot point.

There’s a girl,

groundhog day

At some point at the beginning of the movie Bull Murray decides that he wants to sleep with her.

So he tries and fails.

A day goes by…

He tries again, gets a little further and fails.

A day goes by…

He tries again, gets further than last time and fails.

He tries this multiple times and while he eventually progresses pretty far he can never seal the deal.


The end of the movie when he underwent this amazing transformation.

You see, when he was trying to get the girl at the beginning of the movie he was still the same old cynical guy (he was just trying to take advantage of her) and somehow the girl saw through it all.

BUT when he changed…

When he truly changed she fell for him.

This is the same effect that I am trying to replicate for you.

If you want to impress your ex girlfriend you are going to have to implement “the groundhog day” theory.

What Is The Groundhog Day Theory?


A few years ago “Groundhog Day” came on TV while my father was sitting next to me.

So, we decided to just sit back, relax and watch it.

After one hour and forty one minutes the movie was complete and we were both reminded of how good it was.

Now, the thing about my father is that he has always been a pretty smart dude.

In fact, any time you have a question about the universe, black holes or even basic philosophy he is the guy you want to ask.

Anyways, I remember asking him how long he thought Bill Murray’s character was trapped living the same day over and over again.

I don’t know why what he said next stuck with me but it did.

He was probably stuck living that same day over and over again for a decade.

This shocked me because I figured he was only stuck there a few months but the more I thought about it the more I began to realize that he may have been right.

I mean, Bill Murray’s character before he lived the same day over and over again was nothing more than a simple newscaster covering whether or not a groundhog saw it’s shadow,

before groundhog day

But after he lived the same day over and over again he was a lot more than just a newscaster,

after groundhog day

Becoming a master pianist, sculptor, fluent in french and changing your personality from completely resenting people to wanting to help them takes some time.

So, I did what any curious person would do in my situation.

I went to Google to figure out exactly how many days Bill Murray spent trapped in Groundhog Day and learned that the director of the movie, Harold Ramis, said that Bill Murray was there for ten years.

Man my dad is good!

Anyways, what does any of this have to do with impressing your ex girlfriend?

Well, that’s where my groundhog day theory comes into play.


In other words, I want you to pretend that you were going to be trapped living the same day over and over again.

You wouldn’t age…

You wouldn’t die…

You would essentially be immortal…

Now, I realize I am talking to men here and that’s why I put in that little tidbit at the end there about sleeping with a million women.

While I am sure 70% of you would jump at the opportunity I want to challenge you to look past that and ultimately look at the skills or qualities that YOU would obtain.

Bill Murray for example learned how to,

  • Play the piano
  • Became a master ice sculptor
  • Become fluent in french
  • Learned a card trick
  • Shifted his personality from being selfish to selfless

Now, this next part is important.

I want to take all of Bill Murray’s skills and qualities that he picked up from being trapped in groundhog day for ten years and look at them from a short term impressing perspective to a long term impressing perspective and show you what it took to get the woman of his dreams, Rita.

Groundhog day

(Side Note: Remember Bill Murray tries to get Rita at the beginning of the movie and fails continually, since he was trying to do so through manipulation.)

Alright, so lets look at the combination of qualities that ultimately won this woman’s heart.

Becoming A Master Pianist (Short Term Impressing)

I would classify this one as short term impressing.

Hey, I am as impressed by a master pianist as anyone but when you are looking at it in the context of relationships it’s hard for me to say that a woman is going to stay with a man based solely on his ability to impress her with his piano skills.

Nevertheless, playing the piano leaves one hell of an impression on anyone so this definitely helped to show Rita that Bill Murray was skilled at something other than being cynical.


Because playing the piano requires discipline and hard work.

It’s not something that you can just fake.

Becoming A Master Ice Sculptor (Short Term Impressing)

I feel that I gave you the wrong impression on short term impressing above.

I kind of talked about it like it was a bad thing.

It’s not…

It’s just not going to impress a woman for the long term like long term impressing is.

However, if you were able to create an ice sculpture for the woman of your dreams something tells me you would impress the hell out of her but it’s kind of a one and done thing. Eventually the amazing feeling she gets from knowing you will wear off.

Thus, ice sculpting is short term impressing but it leaves a very strong short term impression.

Becoming Fluent In French (Between Short Term And Long Term)

How many points would you score if all of a sudden you started talking to your ex girlfriend in french?

Something tells me you would score A TON!

So, why won’t I give this a full “long term impression?”

Easy, because it’s a skill and not a quality.

The long term impressing things I list above are all qualities about a human’s character.

Nevertheless, I do want to say that becoming fluent in french is going to score you more points than a regular short term impressing skill will so I will place it somewhere in between the short term and the long term.

The Card Trick (Short Term Impressing)

Do I even have to explain this one?

Personality Shift From Being Selfish To Selfless (Long Term Impressing)

This one requires some explanation.

Rita (Bill Murray’s dream girl) had worked with Bill Murray before he got trapped in this paradox where he had to live the same day over and over again. Thus, she had preconceived notions about him (much like your ex girlfriend has about you.)

What were these preconceived notions?

Rita’s Preconceived Notion: Bill Murray = Selfish

And ultimately it is because of this belief that Bill Murray is selfish that he was unable to get her when he first tried to get her.

Now lets fast forward to the end of the movie after Bill Murray has changed from being selfish to selfess.

Once Rita sees that he is selfless she becomes super impressed with him.

Add in the short term impressing she witnessed before his selfless transformation and you have the recipe for love.

I want this for YOU.

I want your ex girlfriend to become so impressed with you that she falls in love with you.

How The Groundhog Day Theory Works (Short Term & Long Term Impressing)

how does it work

I said this a while back so I don’t expect you to recall it.

Do you remember when I said that there is a place for short term impressing in the overall strategy of impressing an ex girlfriend?

Well, I am going to explain how it fits in right now.

Lets go back to the original three examples I gave for “short term impressing.”

Do you remember what they were?

  1. Ferrari
  2. Lots of Money
  3. Incredible Physique

These are all short term impressing things, right?

Well, I am pretty sure that if you trot these things out in front of most girls they WILL be impressed (if you didn’t have them before.)

Thus, it is to our advantage to focus some of our time on short term qualities. Generally speaking though short term impressing skills are easier to acquire than long term impressing skills.

In other words, it won’t take as long to acquire them.

So, we are going to attack this from two different ways,

  1. With short term impressing qualities
  2. With long term impressing qualities

And therein lies the genius of the groundhog day theory.

It uses both.

Here take a look at this graphic,

how it works

Still confused as to how this all falls into place?

If you recall the groundhog theory hinges on this statement,

If you were trapped and had to live the same day over and over again what would you spend your time doing? What qualities or skills would you pick up or improve upon?

I want you to take out a piece of paper and write down those skills and qualities.

Here is the little twist though.

Notice that in the graphic I have written down short term impressing and long term impressing qualities.

I want you to focus on both since impressing your ex girlfriend will probably require both.

Of course, if we look at the movie Groundhog Day, Bill Murray had never dated Rita before so he actually had it a bit easier than you.

Why do I say that?

Simple, every skill he acquired was new to her when she saw it for the first time.

You, on the other hand, need to focus ONLY on new skills or qualities because your ex girlfriend has already seen everything you have to offer and if you recall my section about new making more of an impression above you can definitely see why Bill Murray had it easier.

Your Ex Girlfriends Perspective Of The Groundhog Day Theory Strategy

I want to show you how powerful this strategy can be if it’s implemented by showing you what it looks like from your ex girlfriends perspective.

Lets pretend that you decide that you want to impress your ex girlfriend so you decide to use the no contact rule found in PRO. During this grace period where you are ignoring your ex on purpose you aren’t just sitting around but are actively working on yourself and improving.

You have identified 3 short term impressing skills and 1 long term impressing quality that you want to obtain and show to your ex girlfriend when the time is right.

So, like Bill Murray in groundhog day you spend quite a bit of time mastering these skills and qualities until eventually you feel you have obtained them.

Oh, and I left out the best part.

All of these things that you just obtained are new to your ex girlfriend. It’s a side of you that she has never seen before.

Eventually when that inevitable meeting happens these qualities start to ooze out and impress the hell out of her.

And we all know that an ex girlfriend who is impressed is going to be that much easier to get back.


Written by EGR team mate

Chris Seiter

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80 Comments on "How To Impress Your Ex Girlfriend"

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Hey Chris! I am a big fan of yours from India. I dated a girl for 18 months and we had break ups in this period. We got back for the 6th time and I was very possessive about her being with some guys. She told me not to worry and our relationship was going well. Suddenly she breaks up with me and I get to know she started talking to a new guy. I begged pleaded did everything then read your articles which taught me value. I did no contact and she was dating that guy at that time… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Faizan,

Stick to nc of at least 30 days and this time, start a new routine in your life that you will maintain after nc while slowly building rapport.


Hi chris is it possible to have your direct contact details, to discuss matters personally. My situation is bit complicated i would really appreciate the help. Thank you

EGR Team Member: Amor
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Ali,

Chris does one on one coaching calls for a fee, are you interested? If yes, I’m going to forward your email to him

Hii Yaar! Enough now I can’t live without her. She loves me a lot. But one day when I woke up and as like daily I call her. After talking to me for some minutes she starts saying that she doesn’t want to live in relationship. I tried a lot to convince her that I can’t live without her bt she not listen to me and block me in everywhere. Today its 15th day of this incident. Before 15 day when she talks to me at night she talks with very love and happy bt next morning she does like… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Rj,

do you want to try the no contact rule?


what if i had dumped her badly last time?

EGR Team Member: Amor
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi vishal,
how bad?

Billy Carruthers

Hey, I’m just wondering if it’d possible to get some input,

My ex gf is a healthy eating gym fanatic, and I’m looking to change myself into a similar lifestyle.

Would this be considered an impressionable attribute?


my gf is taking more interest in studies and does’nt remain in contact with me and says that she does’nt love me. but when i talk to her she says that we will see in future that what will happen to our relation and if i ask emotionally than she indirectly give positive reply for her love towards me(indirectly) that she cares for me and i matter in her life but never calls or msg me

EGR Team Member: Amor
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Vaneet,

how are you? have you two talked about it now?


Veenet the same situation is happening with me she concentrating more on studies and she wants break up now

Nimesh Patil

Chris i am 19 years old please help me
she left me for family reasons
now she’ll talk to my sister n ask about me also talk to me normally
but sometimes she ignored me
she is 16.5 years old
please help me

EGR Team Member: Amor
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Nimesh..

why? does her famly doesn’t like you?


My gf wants tu study and she also told me that i should focus on study.
i want to marry with her bt now she is talking about to be seprate.
i am confused that what should i do.

EGR Team Member: Amor
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Gaurav

Do you mean you want to marry now?

Sanketh divadkar
Hey Chris. I am 19 yrs old . I was dating a girl a year ago and I still love her now and I am trying to get back her since the day I broke up . I needed ur help bro.. I don’t know how I impressed her but we met on fb and impressed her by my chats . 3 months after our friendship I proposed her and we started dating. 3 months we were good going . Then problems arised due to her ex as she was confused whom to choose. Then 3 months later a day… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Sanketh,

So,you always made up stories to get her atteNtion? When was the last time you talked to each other?


Hi Chris I was with a girl for about month, she ended it due to her not feeling any connection / flame any idea’s. I showed all the other qualities etc Kindness, caring, fun, outgoing.

Cheers Henry

EGR Team Member: Amor
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Henry,

do you know what her interests are?

ok..i am in a trap..i love her so much and i am not in the position to broke up with her . But after a relationship of 5 years . She asked me that she loves someone else and she dont want me anymore . I asked her to give me some time before complete broke up and she will ready for that(she have still some emotional corner for me in his heart ) but now the date fixed for broke up comes nearer and still now i am not in the position to broke up with her . We… Read more »
Connor Hale
Okay, so I broke up with my girlfriend about 4 months ago. Then, more recently, I regretted it. I did the no contact strategy, built up attraction with text messages, and now we’re sleeping together again. She absolutely loves it as she’s told me, however, we aren’t dating, and there’s a new guy I know of that she’s interested in. They’re friends, and I’ve asked about him subtly. She told me that he accepts her for who she is, and that he’s a funny, outgoing guy, but that I’m significantly more attractive and I have all the qualities she’s looking… Read more »
Connor Hale

Yes, we did no contact for about 3 months, and I have utilized the strategy you’re speaking about. She told me just yesterday that she still loves me, she’s just trying to deny it, but at the same time doesn’t want to stop with this other guy. She said to give her time to let her choose.


I would say hey and ask her questions such as: what are you doing and how was your day… Etc! And she would respond w one one text messages and often times ask why do I care when I ask her stuff like “are you ok” then she’ll say that I’m asking her stupid questions or that I’m acting dumb!

I would say hey and ask her questions such as: what are you doing and how was your day… Etc! And she would respond w one one text messages and often times ask why do I care when I ask her stuff like “are you ok” then she’ll say that I’m asking her stupid questions or that I’m acting dumb! Now when I try reaching out to her she will ignore me and only talk to her friend Keller! One moment we were on the phone she told me she was gay and I didn’t believe it because ik how… Read more »

I’m 17 and she just turned 16


Also the only time she’ll try talking to me is honestly only when her friend Jeller isn’t available but once she’s able to talk to her then I become irrelevant once again

Hey Chris, this isnt a post asking any questions about what I should do next, its actually a thank you. For the past 6 months i have read your articles and they’re awesome. They’ve really made me feel alot better about my break up. They taught me so much about women and general. Well good news! I applied what you teach and finally got my ex back even after her saying shes just not in love anymore. She now tells me shes deeply in love with me and that she really wants a stronger relationship this time around! Thanks a… Read more »
Chris me and my ex have been on and off for awhile! Just recently we broke up over the summer because our communication was failing and decided to just be apart! Like 2 weeks later she started wanted to talk to me again and we ended up rebuilding and getting closer again! Well that lasted up until about September where we got in a little disagreement about our viewpoints on each other and our relationship! I got upset w her accepting food from her neighbor and even though I eventually realized that it wasn’t a big deal! I still avoided… Read more »
But lately she really has been sending her friend some really lesbian things! Like videos of girls kissing and further! I mean as long as we’ve been together (2 years) she’s never tried or done anything like that and has always opposed it! Also her friend Keller doesn’t like it either and opposed it too and Jeller is literally the 1st friend she’s ever had that has never exhibited any attraction to her! So my ex would be playful & friendly w her because she knew she didn’t like it! Later on they started becoming closer and things settled down!… Read more »
The other day I just went on their messages and saw that she sent her friend like 20 videos of lesbian couples kissing and groping in the bed and there was one when a girl was kissing her spouses neck and she stated, ” that was you the other day!” So I really do think that they are lesbian together and as much as I don’t want to believe it! It’s kinda right in front of my eyes! Keller has never been lesbian and has never had a boyfriend or done anything but apparently seems to only be like this… Read more »
Jag Rianthony
I am a 21 year old college football player, I really sweettalk my girl, I’m goodlooking and girls have come easy to me. I play the guitar and sing, me and this girl were in a musical and after two weeks she basically asked me out the first day she texted me. She is tall blonde and a spoiled girl….It has been two months since we broke up…. We went out for three months but we got serious quick.  She used to say “you don’t understand how much I like you”, “I’m scared I’m beginning to need you”, “you are… Read more »
Hey Chris, My ex girlfriend broke up with me a month ago after being in a relationship for almost 4 years. we were each others first with everything we started dating at the age of 17 and are both 21 now. She had a good reason for the breakup. after almost 4 years i started to take her for granted. I never asked her to sleep over, I never took her to a restaurant. we did go out sometimes but I was never the one that took the initiative. and so her reason for breaking up was that i didn’t… Read more »
I’ve been separated with my GF for almost 3 months. And about our relationship, maybe I’m a bit of perfection, I know nothing’s perfect but deep in my heart I always wants her to be perfect at all times, maybe one of the reason why she left me because of that, I’m asking too much of her. We did sleep together, multiple times and she don’t hate it, what she hate is doing it too often and whenever she rejects me I always feel down and acts like a child like not talking to her and pretending to be angry… Read more »
UPDATE: I stopped stalking her at whatever way possible since about a week ago, I also tried to improve myself and isolating myself from her, I start working out, going out with friend, etc. Today is the 21st day of NC, and I sent her an email (well, since she blocked me on various stuff) asking about how she’s doing. She replied, “I am doing good as long as you didn’t bother me!”. Now I’m out of clue, all I did is replied “Cool, If I’m bothering you I’m sorry. Have a nice day :D”. I tried to make it… Read more »

If I need continue the NC then how long? What should I do after the NC periods end? send her another similar email?


Hi Chris it’s me again I just wanted to tell you that my ex left the country and she didn’t contact me.Should I consider that she moved on for real?

Hi chris, me and my live in gf for 3 years (with one daughter) had a huge fight last week. Because i saw that she had sweet conversation with a certain guy in their office. It is obvious that they are an item because they call one another “baby”. I confronted her , we had a fight and we hit each other. She called and her mom and they fled with my daughter and all her stuff. I want to and many people tell me i should be angry because she cheated on me and she deserved the physical hurting… Read more »

Also to add….i talked to the guy before he blocked me on fb and admitted that they have something going on:(

Chris, I just want to start off by saying that you are the man for this. It is really nice of you to dedicate so much time and effort into helping others like this. I commented on another one of your posts and you responded, that was a while ago now. Essentially, in my situation, my ex gf broke up with me after a year and a couple of months because she did not want a boyfriend. We didn’t speak for two weeks, met in person, and she broke down when she realized I may move on. Over the next… Read more »

You don’t have to explain yourself but congratulations!! I appreciate what you are doing more than you know. What exactly does making her jump through hoops entail?


Said she just didn’t think I’m the one, we didn’t communicate as much as we needed, and had a lot of small arguments but we never stayed mad at each other longer than a day. She just thinks “the one” for her will be perfect with no fights and she said we must’ve broke up for a reason. She’s came back once but I was talking to another girl. But now she seems different she misses me a ton and our memories but I know just cause she misses me that doesn’t mean she wants me back

Hey man Thanks for all the awesome guides! My girlfriend and I broke up about six weeks ago. She had fallen in love with another man, and she entered a long distance relationship with him. It was tough, as we live in the same dorm and therefore see each other often. So a week after the break-up I started the no contact-rule for 21 days. In the meantime, I started working out, seeing a therapist and playing the guitar. On the 21st day, she texted me good luck with a marathon I was running that day. I texted her: Thanks.… Read more »

Thanks for the reply!

It just seems weird to me that she jumps from me to another guy and then from him to another guy. I have been dating one girl during this time and it didn’t work out. It was always pretty obvious to me that she was a rebound.

Is it normal to move on like this for women? Going from one man to another? She has barely had time to be single.

Hi Chris, So my situation is a bit complicated. My gf left me about a month ago and I did the NC rule for 2 weeks and in those 2 weeks she Facebook messaged me a couple of times. After the 2 weeks I sent her roses with a letter telling her that I was sorry for all the mistakes I made when I was with her and I mentioned how I was working on them and how I had improved. The letter and roses worked at first and we had a date where she said it went great and… Read more »

Btw I think she might like another guy since she’s been posting stuff on twitter saying “You mean the world to me <3" etc. Should i proceed with no contact rule or is everything ruled out?


So what do you think I should do next? She has now blocked me off of every social media site ever since i started my no contact period. Do you think I should finish the no contact period and after do a letter or text her and hopefully she has not blocked my number too?

Atta Mohammad
Hey Chris! My girlfriend and I broke up 3 weeks ago because she felt that I was mistreating and using her throughout the relationship. However I will have it say it is relatively true that I have been mistreating her. So we break up and then I start trying to work things out, she then starts to get petty and insults me left right and center so I stop contact for 11 days. She messages back saying that she misses me and that she wants to meet me. We meet up and she starts crying her guts out.. We totally… Read more »
Hello Chris, I recently have become a major fan of your website. My ex is a special case however for some of this. She suffers quite badly from depression and she is highly intelligent, and not new to relationships at all. She knows your guide game. I cannot leave her without her reaching out for another guy for emotional support due to her depression and she feels abandoned, a trauma in her life caused this. I did no contact for sometime but I knew that she would move on quite quick as a natural defense mechanism. I feel if I… Read more »

Yes, unfortunately she has already started talking to new guys. I’m not sure how many or if just one but she’s definitely getting that emotional support from another guy. I don’t know if there is a go to guy however, she never really had “guy friends”, just guys that want in her pants that she turns down. We both are alphas and it’s not hard for us to attract the opposite sex. I just don’t want someone else and she doesn’t know what she wants.


I think it is just best if I let her go for now. She’s not ready to come back at all. I’m going to try the 45 days because I did not do something that would be perceived as bad but to her it was a fuse I set off in her, 21 days wasn’t enough time to reset. She still has feelings for me from last time. I think it’s best if I let those feelings reset rather than trying to build them up. Start fresh maybe one day.

Like I said, I pushed her away. For good. This time she came back, she said she is worried about me and that no one is there for her. She said a lot actually. She told me she still has feelings but she cannot do anything with them. I was her ideal guy and she was my ideal girl. She always told me that I was the right person for her but I met her at the wrong time in her life. She’s a senior in high school and I’m a sophomore in college so that’s understandable I guess. She… Read more »

Immaturity, inexperience, and not wanting to settle down. The inexperience part though, we both have been in quite a few relationships prior. This was nothing new to us and she always acted older than I thought she was. age is determined by the number of years you’ve experienced however not maturity age. I am pretty sure I know where you’re going with all this. Thank you for all your swift responses. I’ll look forward to this last one…


Oh yes, I thought you were asking for traits of the first age group… But yes, she’s 17.

Hi Chris! I have been with my girlfriend for almost 4 years. I have this doubt: I came out from NC one month ago and I am working with text message. She never begins first, but when I do she keeps it going. I know I must show her I’m not needy, so the best thing would be not contact her. I know I have to show how I have became in the last few months, so the best thing would be to communicate, so to contact her, What should I do? Point A and B seem not possible at… Read more »
Thank you for your quick reply. This is what happened: First conversations: -She was polite but cold. -She did not smile. -I ended first after 2-3 texts -She tested me to see if I was just pretending to be happy and You would be proud seeing how I behaved. -I could feel She was nervous After one month of following 100% your program and reshaping my image as a happy interesting funny Guy (and all other things you recommend): -She is much more relaxed; -sometimes conversations go on for more than one hour -She is gentle and funny, -She is… Read more »

Wow Chris I appreciate you being so fast in replying! Thank you buddy.
No, I’ve not seen her and I did not called her either. I was planning to transition from text to phone call next week and then after 3 good phone calls ask her out.

Whats your suggestion? Should I get more emotional even if She is not?

Than you very much.


Wow Chris I appreciate you being so fast in replying! Thank you buddy.
No, I’ve not seen her and I did not called her either. I was planning to transition from text to phone call next week and then after 3 good phone calls ask her out.

Whats your suggestion? How do I turn romance up if She is not emotional?


No, I’ve not seen her and I did not called her either. I was planning to transition from text to phone call next week and then after 3 good phone calls ask her out.

Should I try to turn romance up even if She is not emotional?
What’s your suggestion?

Thank you
PS sorry if my comment gets posted multiple time.. I think its due to some connection issue.


They are mostly like:
-interesting beginning
-conversation going on with inside jokes and smiles
-conversation ending at high point.
I guess I will turn romance up a bit and give her a call when time is right, as you said.

Was with a girl almost 2 years and both had a very good time but we lacked communication. Split up on good terms I see her every once and a while (we broke up a month ago) says she doesn’t know if I’m the “one” and she wants to meet new people. She’s talking to a guy now but she has friend zoned him. Whenever I see her I get her laughing and joking. When she leaves she will give me a big hug. And just today i needed a ride home and she came inside and dropped me off… Read more »