Stephen Hawking is considered to be one of the smartest people in the world.
I mean, the guy is a quantum physicist for heavens sakes. To me, any quantum physicist has to be pretty darn intelligent and this guy is at the top of the food chain in his expertise. So, for all of Mr. Hawking’s knowledge of the universe he says that there is still one thing that puzzles him,
“Women are the biggest mystery in the universe…”
If you take Hawking’s word for it how in the heck are you supposed to know if your ex girlfriend (a woman) wants you back?
Welcome to Ex Girlfriend Recovery.
Through this site I am going to be breaking down the universes biggest mystery, your ex girlfriend and we are going to do that on this page by showing you exactly what to look for if she wants you back.
Lets get started!
Before We Begin I Need To Tell You Something Important
Many men come to this website wanting to get their ex girlfriends back.
But there’s a problem with this line of thinking….
Getting an ex girlfriend back generally isn’t a simple process. It requires a lot of thought, strategy and even a little bit of luck.
The truth is that I can’t tell you everything that you absolutely need to know about getting your ex girlfriend back in this article.
For me to say that I can would be a lie.
Luckily, I have created something that can tell you just about everything you absolutely need to know to get your ex girlfriend back.
You can learn more about it by clicking the button below,Get Relief FasterWith Tactics I Can't Put on the Blog...
Women Talk vs. Man Talk
Men and women are very different.
It doesn’t take a genius to realize that fact.
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One of the differences between them is the fact that they have different ways of conveying information. This is an important concept to understand since it ties directly into figuring out if your ex is exhibiting signs that she wants you back.
So, what I would like to do now is focus on how men talk as opposed to women. Once you understand this distinction you will know exactly what to look for from your ex girlfriend.
Lets start by talking about men.
How Men Talk
Men are pretty simple.
Generally speaking we are pretty straightforward with how we talk. When it comes to relationships we can sometimes have trouble exhibiting the emotions that women are looking for but one thing that we are really good at is telling women exactly what we want.
We have all been faced with that moment where we are talking to a girlfriend trying to figure out where to go out to eat and the woman is indecisive about everything or waiting for you to take charge of the situation.
YOU: “Do you want to go to Chilies?”
HER: “Hmmm… I don’t know… maybe.”
YOU: “What about Olive Garden?”
The point I am trying to make here is that if the roles were reversed a guy would have a much easier time saying exactly where he wanted to go out to eat.
Now, this is nothing against women. I understand exactly what they are trying to do by being all indecisive in that situation (and you will too in a second.)
But the big takeaway I want you to have from this section is the fact that generally men are very straightforward when they talk.
Women are a little different.
How Women Talk
Women communicate a little bit differently than men.
Now, since we are all men here it may be hard for us to understand why they communicate the way they do because we are so vastly different in our approaches but I am going to break it down for you. Lets take our “going out to eat” example to illustrate that point.
Why is it that women tend to be so indecisive in situations like that?
Well, in that particular situation they really want two things.
- Thing 1: They want you to pick the right place to go out to eat.
- Thing 2: They want you to take charge because they believe that’s what a man should do.
I guess we should start with “Thing 1.”
How in the hell are you supposed to be able to pick the right place to go out to eat when you have no earthly idea?
Well, I am sorry to break it to you but all the information you need to make the “correct” decision has already been given to you, you just weren’t listening hard enough. You see, when women talk they drop these little hints which can be super annoying because the hints are often very little. Nevertheless, the hints are always there and you need to always be aware of them.
Why do they drop hints?
Most women don’t want to have to physically tell you what they want. They feel that you should just know. Of course, they aren’t crazy and since they know you aren’t a mind reader they know that they are going to have to drop these little hints when they talk to you to give you an idea of what they really want.
Why not just actually tell you?
Well, it means much more to them if you do whatever it is that they want without them actually telling you to do it.
“Thing 2” is also a very interesting insight into women.
Women are drawn to confidence. I mean how many times have you heard a close friend (who happens to be a girl) tell you,
“All you have to do is be confident?”
This is going to sound completely shallow of me but I think it will illustrate my point. I have literally seen some of the ugliest looking guys get the prettiest girls just because they were completely confident in themselves. Now, let me ask you.
What is more confident than a man completely taking charge of a situation?
To women… NOTHING.
Nothing is more confident than that.
Why Understanding How Women Talk Is Important
So, by now I bet you are wondering why I was covering the differences between how men and women communicate, right?
It’s quite simple really.
We are all men here so I think it goes without saying that we are very limited in our ability to think outside the box (yup, I am stereotyping us all so deal with it.) I am betting that one of the issues in your relationship was the fact that your communication was never that great.
Seriously, if you were to ask your ex girlfriend right now about the communication between the two of you in your relationship what do you think she would say?
Probably that it sucked.
Of course, you would fire back with, “well, she never told me what she wanted once.”
The truth is that all the signs were there. You just weren’t paying attention. Remember, women often communicate using hints and sometimes these hints can be very hard to pick up on. That’s why you always have to be listening and watching (something that 90% of men out there fail to do.)
Figuring out if your ex girlfriend wants you back is exactly the same.
There are going to be signs/hints and it’s up to you to find them and determine what what they mean.
Luckily for you, you have a secret weapon, ME!
I am going to be taking you through an in-depth look at all the signs you can expect to encounter if your ex girlfriend is interested in a reconciliation. First though, I do want to point out a very important rule that you need to follow.
The “Three Signs” Rule
(Learn more about how you can get your ex girlfriend back here.)
Did I ever tell you the story of one of the most embarrassing moments of my life?
Well listen up because you are in for a good laugh.
A long time ago there was a girl that I really liked (I think you can see where this is going.) Anyways, it took me about a month to work up the courage to ask her out on a date and when she said yes to my request I was absolutely ecstatic. For days it was the only thought on my mind.
When the day finally came I was understandably pretty nervous. I did my best to keep my cool during the date but I am sure she could tell that I was nervous. The situation got worse towards the end of the date when we were sitting by the water and she looked into my eyes.
Now, I had read something on the internet about how eye contact is really important for building attraction so I decided that this was the perfect time to try it. I looked into her eyes as she looked into mine. There was just one problem, she wasn’t looking away.
She was matching my eye stare with her eye stare. After a while it felt like we were in the middle of an epic staring contest and guess who was losing?
I had never encountered anything like this on a date before and didn’t know what to do. Since the two of us were in uncharted waters I did what I always do in situations like these, I put myself in her shoes and tried to look at the situation from her perspective.
What was my conclusion?
The only way a girl would look me directly in the eye for this long is if she wanted me to kiss her.
So I went in for one.
Do you think my risk paid off?
Instead of getting a passionate kiss all I was given was the dreaded pull away and the four words no man ever wants to hear,
“What are you doing?”
What is the point of me telling you this story?
It’s that sometimes no matter how blatant the signs we think we are reading correctly are, there is always that chance that we are reading them wrong. For example, I guarantee you that if you put any other girl in the embarrassing story I told you about above I would have gotten a kiss instead of a “what are you doing?” It just so happened that I was out on a date with the one girl whose minute long eye contact session with me wasn’t a sign that she wanted to kiss me.
The possibility of misreading signs can be a scary thought for a lot of guys out there but that is exactly why I created the “three signs” rule, so you won’t ever misread a sign.
What Is The Three Signs Rule?
Lets say you are trying to determine if your ex girlfriend wants you back by looking for signs.
After about a week or so you see something that you determine is a “sign” and you get excited. Of course, if you learned anything from my embarrassing story above it’s that you can’t just assume that she wants you back from one single sign.
This is where the three signs rule comes in.
You see, it’s easy to make a mistake with one sign but with three…. well, lets just say its highly unlikely that if your ex girlfriend exhibits three signs she doesn’t want you back. It’s possible, but HIGHLY unlikely.
The way I look at it is simple.
With one sign its easy to make a mistake.
Two signs could be a coincidence.
But three signs… well, three signs is a pattern and a pattern means that your ex girlfriend is exhibiting the same behavior over and over again and if that behavior is the signs I cover below then that is very good for you.
This is what the three sign rule is.
In order for you to get my blessing on whether or not your ex wants you back she is going to have to exhibit a minimum of three signs on the list below. If she has exhibited only two of the signs below then I am sorry to inform you but she doesn’t want you back… yet.
Three signs is what is going to take so make sure you know these signs like the back of your hand.
The Many Different Signs That Your Ex Girlfriend Wants You Back
(Interested in how to get your ex girlfriend back? Check out Ex Girlfriend Recovery PRO.)
This is by far the most important section on this entire page.
If your ex girlfriend exhibits three or more of the signs that I outline here then that means the possibility is high that she wants a reconciliation to occur (three sign rule.) By now I hope you know me well enough to know that I always go above and beyond in my guides. So, it is already a foretold conclusion that I am going to be listing a lot of signs below. However, I want this site to be different from all of my peers. So, the thing that is probably going to set this page apart from all the others in the world is the fact that I am going to be going into details on each one of these signs.
The way I look at it is pretty simple. It’s easy for me to sit here and list out a sign for you to watch for. However, that doesn’t give you all the information you need. In order to successfully understand why that sign is important you need to grasp what your girlfriend is thinking when she exhibited the sign but not only that, you also need to understand the significance of the sign.
I aim to provide you with the answers to those questions.
So, not only am I going to give you the generic “signs” to keep an eye out for but I am going to give you the psychology that goes behind them and why they are important.
Lets get started.
“Good morning sweetie!”
“It’s going to be ok babe!”
Did you know that there is an actual definition for a pet name?
Pet names are defined as names used to express fondness and familiarity for someone.
During your relationship I bet your girlfriend had at least one pet name for you. Maybe she called you,
I think you get the idea.
If your ex girlfriend takes to calling you a pet name it could be a sign that she still has feelings for you. Also, lets be honest here, it is kind of awesome to have a girlfriend like you so much that she says this kind of stuff to you.
Whats Going On In Her Mind To Cause Her To Use A Pet Name?
Before I really get going on the mindset of your ex girlfriend here I feel compelled to mention that you are going to have to determine if your ex girlfriend is one of those types of women that uses pet names for everyone or just for her boyfriend.
In my experience, most women do save pet names for their boyfriends but some women just naturally use pet names for everyone.
Why is this important to determine?
Well, if your ex is one of those women that uses pet names for all of her friends then her using a pet name for you isn’t a big deal for her. However, if you know for a fact that your ex rarely uses pet names on anyone except those who she is in love with it is a very good sign for you.
So, lets assume a best case scenario for a moment here and say that your ex only uses pet names on a boyfriend. Well, if you two are broken up and she begins using a pet name on you it is a good sign because it means her feelings are causing her to say the pet name.
What do you think I mean by that?
Well, generally speaking when a woman uses a pet name she has to feel something strong for her to use it. You are in a good position because you have already dated her so we already know that she has the ability to have strong feelings for you.
Her using a pet name is simply verifying this fact but it’s also a risk on her part because she doesn’t know how you are going to react to her using the pet name now that you two are broken up. In other words, not only does she have to feel it to say it but she is also using it as a way to test you and gauge where you are at.
Women think a lot about this stuff huh?
This is an interesting sign.
As I discussed above, women operate a little bit differently than men. You see, men don’t like to share their feelings amongst other men. Sure, sometimes if we get really hurt we can’t help but drop our guard and open up a bit but generally speaking the only time we talk about girls in front of other men is if we are sleeping with them.
Women are very different than us in that regard. They love talking openly about every aspect of their relationships among other women. It’s almost therapeutic for them to be social and talk about how they feel. As a result, women can often enlist other women to find out details on you after a breakup.
Imagine this for a moment.
Imagine that you and your ex girlfriend have been broken up for two weeks and in that two weeks neither one of you has spoken to each other. Well, your ex girlfriend is very curious as to what you are up to but she is too stubborn to find out for herself.
So, instead of taking a risk and messaging you she enlists one of her friends to do it.
I have seen “spies” get in touch with exes in many different ways.
- Some use Facebook.
- Some “accidentally” run in to you in public.
- Some will text message you.
- Others will call you and have your ex secretly hidden on a three way call.
This brings up an interesting question. Which one of your ex girlfriends friends has the highest likelihood of becoming a spy for her?
Well, that’s easy, your exes best friend.
You see, it is your girlfriends best friend’s job to get information on you after a breakup so keep an eye on any type of interaction you may have with her. I guarantee you the second that your interaction with the best friend is over she or he may run to your ex and tell her all the juicy details.
Why “Spying” Is A Good Sign
If your ex girlfriend asks one of her friends to spy on you I would take it as a good sign because it means she is interested in what you are up to.
Now, I am not going to sit here and tell you that if your ex enlists a spy all of your troubles are over and she is just going to jump into your arms by the end of the day (remember it takes three signs.) What I will tell you is that the fact that she is interested in what you are up to is very good.
It means she is curious and curiosity in this instance can have a direct correlation to her missing you.
She is probably sitting there wondering,
“I wonder if he misses me like I miss him.”
It is this singular thought that can give her the idea to get one of her friends to spy for her.
She Initiates Contact First & Often
Someone a long time ago once told me something very interesting about women.
If you are the first person a woman talks to in the morning and the last at night it definitely means she has feelings for you.
At one point of your relationship with your ex I am betting that you were the first and last person she talked to every day. Breakups have a way of changing that though.
Resentment, anger and pain cause both of you to kind of give one another the cold shoulder a little bit. For example, I guarantee you that you are going to notice a big difference in your conversations after a breakup. Maybe your ex used to text back immediately when you would text her but she might not do that anymore.
Maybe any time you talked to her on the phone she was full of life and had a lot to say but after the breakup she is quiet and guarded.
My point here is simple.
There is definitely going to be a change when it comes to communication after a breakup.
However, if you start to notice that your ex girlfriend is contacting you first and often that is a very good sign.
Allow me to explain why.
Why It’s A Good Sign
Women tend to be very detail oriented.
For example, the first thing that most men notice is a woman’s breasts and then the next thing is her face.
I once had a woman tell me that the first thing she noticed about a man were his shoes, then his finger nails and then his face.
Do you see how detailed women can be?
So, you can bet your existence on the fact that your ex notices every little communication detail. She notices when you get quiet in conversations. She notices when you take the initiate to contact her first. She notices when you don’t text her first. She notices how long the phone conversations are.
My point is simple.
If your ex girlfriend notices all of this stuff it is a big deal for HER to take the initiative and contact you first.
Think of it like this.
Any time anyone contacts anyone first it means that they want to talk to that person.
Of course, I am not going to sit here and tell you that just because your girlfriend initiated a conversation with you first one time that she wants you back. That’s why the first and OFTEN part is important.
I already gave you my little speech on why patterns matter with the “three sign rule.” Well, finding a pattern with your ex girlfriend texting you first also matters. If she is consistently the one to open up communication it definitely means something and that is a good sign.
The Little Touches (In Person)
Lets say that you and your ex girlfriend are seeing each other in person quite often (you can learn how to get to a level where this can happen here.)
During your interaction in person you begin to notice that your girlfriend is touching you in a very soft way. For example, if the two of you were to walking down the street you may notice that her hand slightly brushes up against your hand. At first you think nothing of it but then you begin to notice it again and again (ah a pattern.) Pretty soon you find yourself wondering,
“Does she want me to hold her hand?”
Remember, it’s a hint.
Lets talk about hugs for a second though. In my experience, there are two types of hugs.
There are the hugs that you give your friends (of the opposite sex) where its just a brief hug and release. Then there are those hugs who you give to people who mean something to you. This is a hug that is held for a long time. In other words, the hug is prolonged and the release doesn’t happen until later.
Every time you go in for a hug with your ex there should be an internal clock that starts in your head. The internal clock is what separates regular hugs from passionate ones. So, as you are hugging your girlfriend that clock is going to be started. You are going to know the point of release for a regular hug because the clock will tell you,
“Ok, if I release now then that’s just a regular hug.”
Of course, if you hit the point of release for a “regular hug” and your ex is still holding on to you then that means you are in the more passionate hug category and that is an incredibly good sign.
Why is it a good sign?
I am glad you asked.
What Is Going On In Her Head
Well, if you find that your ex is initiating physical contact in person that means you have touched her on a level emotionally where she wants to be with you and that is perfect for our purposes.
The little hand touches, prolonged hugs or any other type of meaningful contact is an important sign to watch out for because it is a direct indicator of how a girl is feeling. For example, have you ever tried to hug a girl who is extremely angry at you?
Well, if you haven’t then give it a try. I promise you it probably won’t end well.
Of course, we are assuming the opposite is going to happen, that your ex is so happy around you that she can’t contain herself physically.
Let me put this in caveman talk so I can really hammer this point home.
Your Ex Initiating Physical Contact = She Has Strong POSITIVE Feelings For You
Talking About Your Current Relationship A Lot
I want to make sure there is no mistake for what I am trying to say here. When I talk about an ex talking about your relationship I don’t mean your old relationship. You know, the one you two had before you broke up. No, I am talking about your relationship right now.
In other words, the CURRENT relationship you have with your ex girlfriend.
If you find that your ex constantly brings up your current relationship I would take it as a good sign.
Take a moment to scroll up and review my section on “women talk.” If you read that section then you know that women don’t always say exactly what they mean or what they want. Instead, they drop hints to kind of gauge where men are at before they start talking about what they really want.
If your ex girlfriend is bringing up your current relationship a lot then that means she is testing to see how you react to talking about the subject and that is a good sign because it may potentially means she wants to define the current relationship you have.
How She Approaches Talking About Your Current Relationship
Women are so clever about how they bring up talking about relationships.
In the particular case we are talking about here I have seen one consistent method in which a woman can bring up a current relationship.
They allude to a future without you in it.
Let me give you an example. Lets say that you and your ex girlfriend decide to go out for dinner one night. You don’t go to a super romantic restaurant but the chemistry between the two of you is undeniable and romance is inevitable.
She kind of gets caught up in the moment and thinks to herself,
“Wow, wouldn’t it be great to feel this way all the time?”
This causes her to go through a series of questions in her head.
QUESTION 1: “How can I feel this way all the time?”
ANSWER 1: “To date (you) again.”
QUESTION 2: “How can I see how he feels about dating again without me scaring him off?”
ANSWER 2: “I will allude to a future with him in it.”
Women allude to the future in many different ways but without a doubt their favorite way of doing this is by including you in future plans.
For example, if you find your ex saying something like,
“We are going to go hike the Grand Canyon one day.”
It definitely means she is watching to see what your reaction will be. If you hear her say that and look hesitant then she will take it as,
“Wow, he really doesn’t want to be with me.”
Of course, if you hear the Grand Canyon comment, smile and say something like, “I absolutely can’t wait to do that with you,” instead of your ex thinking you want to avoid her like the plague she is going to think it’s ok if she starts talking more and more about your current relationship.
And in case you forgot, that is a very good thing.
Long & Fast Text Message Replies
A while ago I wrote a very long guide about text messaging an ex girlfriend. In that guide I talked about the importance of paying attention to the word count and reply time of your ex girlfriends messages. The reason it is important to pay attention to that type of thing is that those two things combined have a direct correlation to how interested she is in talking to you.
Yes, I understand that sometimes your ex may be super busy and won’t have time to respond to your text messages right away, you know her better than I do in that regard, but I am talking about in general.
For example, if you were to text your ex girlfriend and she doesn’t get back to you for a couple of hours one time in a week then that is not that big of a deal. However, if you text her and she consistently doesn’t get back to you within the week then that may be an issue.
Of course, you do have to take things like work into account here. So, if there is a consistent block of time where she isn’t responding to your text messages and you discover then she is at work during that block of time then you can give her a pass. People do have to focus on work after all.
However, if she is consistently ignoring your messages then that is an issue.
Now, the holy grail that you are searching for as a “good sign” is if you text your girlfriend and she responds quickly with a lengthy response. If you can string together an entire conversation with her in this manner it is an incredible sign.
What It Means If You Achieve The “Holy Grail”
(I highly recommend that you take a look at my book, Ex Girlfriend Recovery PRO if you are serious about getting your ex back.)
In case you missed my awesome reference,
Holy Grail = Fast & Long Text Replies
Why is it such a big deal if you get your girlfriend, someone who I am assuming you shared a part of yourself that no one else sees, to respond to your texts in a timely and long manner?
Well, the reason it’s important is that women understand that their time is much more valuable than a mans time. You see, mother nature let us off easy. We can have sex and there really aren’t any consequences (other than the obvious diseases.) Women on the other hand have to worry about pregnancy. This makes their time much more valuable than ours.
Any time they enter an intimate relationship with a man they always have this primal worry in the back of their minds.
“If I were to get pregnant by him would he stick around?”
As a result, once women reach a certain age they don’t look at relationships the same way anymore. They start to look at relationships as a way to pick a life partner. They understand that they need to choose someone who is going to stand by them through thick and thin and it all comes back to the fact that they are the ones that have to carry children in their womb.
Look, women understand that they can’t be wasting their precious time on unworthy candidates. So, the simple fact that your ex continues to text you with fast and long replies means that she may still see you as a worthy candidate.
Using Your Friends To Her Advantage
In the section on “the spy” I talked extensively how your ex girlfriend may potentially use one of her friends to spy on you or get information about you.
Well, this section is very similar to that one except instead of her using her friends she is going to use one of your friends.
The way this can work is very simple really. Lets say that you and your ex girlfriend have broken up with one another and the two of you have entered into a no contact period. You are a pretty stubborn person so you are telling yourself,
“I refuse to talk to her until she talks to me first…”
(Which seems to be a really common thought in a lot of men.)
Anyways, your ex girlfriend begins to wonder what you are up to but she is a little stubborn too and she tells herself,
“I am not talking to him until he talks to me first…”
So, what we have here is a stubborn standoff. Of course, throughout your relationship you have proven to be a little more stubborn than her so it only makes sense that she begins to break down first. She wonders what you have been up to and what your life is like without her. In fact, her thoughts are constantly plagued by one question,
“Does he even miss me?”
But she is stubborn remember?
It goes against her mindset to ask you directly. So, instead of doing that she decides to go to one of your friends to ask questions about you.
Why is this a good sign if she is simply trying to find out about you?
The Answer Is In The Details
I hope you have some good friends because for you to even have the slightest clue that this is working you are going to have to rely on them for a little bit.
What is supposed to happen is your friend is supposed to come to you after your ex girlfriend contacts him/her and tell you that she tried to reach out.
If your friend says this to you I want you to ask for details about the entire interaction. The more details you can get the better.
Well, lets say that your ex girlfriend does end up contacting your best friend Billy (you now have a best friend named Billy so deal with it) and Billy comes to you and says,
“Hey, your ex just called me to ask about you.”
You are very smart so you ask for the details of the interaction and you find out that your ex has asked a lot of different things ranging from,
- How you are.
- If you are seeing anyone.
- If you have asked about her.
- Why you haven’t contacted her yet.
The question you are probably wondering is why is this such a good sign?
Well, all of the questions I mentioned above may seem little to you but for her to actually take a risk and turn to your best friend for answers it means they are bugging her a lot. Why are they bugging her? Because she is beginning to realize that life kind of sucks without you.
Honeymoon Phase Repeat
You know what the honeymoon phase in a relationship is right?
If you have never heard the term before then allow me to educate you.
At the beginning of a relationship there is always a honeymoon phase. It’s this phase where the two of you go out of your way to do nice things for each other. You can’t keep your hands off one another. You are constantly kissing, holding hands and it seems like the entire world just stops and becomes your personal playground.
Does this feeling last forever?
Usually it doesn’t.
You see, during the honeymoon phase of a relationship it is easy to overlook the flaws of your significant other. You are in the middle of one of the most exciting moments of your life (the HP) and you don’t care about trivial things like flaws or problems.
Of course, when the honeymoon phase begins to lose its luster you start noticing those flaws and they start bugging you.
Objects are thrown…
You get the picture.
Some couples can communicate through the small flaws and problems that creep up during a relationship. Some couples can’t.
Sorry to tell you but you were one of the couples that couldn’t.
I am not trying to upset you at all by saying this. In fact, all I am trying to say is that you and your ex girlfriend have probably already gone through the honeymoon phase before. I want you to keep that in mind for what I am about to say next.
What Is The Honeymoon Phase Repeat?
Lets do some role playing for a minute here.
Lets say that you come to this site, read my amazing advice 😉 and manage to get on really good terms with your ex girlfriend. You haven’t quite gotten her back yet but you can tell things are progressing towards that outcome.
Then you begin to notice something really interesting. You begin to notice that your ex girlfriend is acting like she did during the honeymoon phase with you.
She is going out of her way to do nice things for you. She is acting all sweet. She is texting you frequently and saying things like,
“I miss you so much I can’t wait to see you again.”
This is a really good sign because it means for her the honeymoon phase is beginning to repeat itself.
And you know what that means?
Reconciliation is very close.