How To Know If Your Ex Girlfriend Is Over You

It’s funny, I spend so much of my time helping men reconnect with their exes on this site that I sometimes overlook some of the most basic questions that they are wondering.

Today I got an interesting comment that got me thinking.

What was the comment?

I don’t remember the exact wording of it but the gist went like this,

“Chris my ex broke up with me blah, blah, blah, blah, blah… (Insert sad story) blah, blah, blah blah blah… Based on everything I said do you think I have a chance?”

I hear a form of this question on pretty much a daily basis.

You will notice that I bolded the important part of the question.

Do you think I have a chance?

It’s normal for a man to wonder how much of a shot he has with his ex girlfriend. After all, time is the most valuable asset that any human being has and it would be a shame to waste that asset on a situation where there is no hope.

But if I have heard the question above so much what was it about that particular one that made an impact?

Truthfully it’s not the question that made an impact.

Like I said, I have heard that question a lot throughout my tenure here at Ex Girlfriend Recovery.

THAT’S what made this question stand out for me. I had finally hit a point where I thought to myself,

“You know what? Maybe I should write something about the other side of the coin. I should write about when a man should give up his quest to win his ex girlfriend back.”

So, here we are.

This is my gift to you. If you are sitting there wondering if your situation is helpless or if its just going to be a waste of time this guide will be able to answer that for you.

How This Page Works

I decided that the best way to format this page is to do it in checklist format.

You are aware of what checklist format looks like, right?

checklist

Basically the way it works is I list off a bunch of reasons or things that your ex girlfriend can do that will give you an indication she is over you.

Much like… A CHECKLIST!

Still having trouble understanding?

Hmm…

Ok, lets say that are three types of behaviors that your ex girlfriend will exhibit to show you that she isn’t interested in you anymore. Essentially these behaviors serve as indicators to show you that maybe its time for you to move on.

Well, what I am going to do with this page is list those behaviors one by one and give an in-depth explanation of each of them.

So, it would look something like this,

Behavior One

In-depth explanation

Behavior Two

In-depth explanation

Behavior Three

In-depth explanation

Get it now?

Basically this page is meant to be a reference guide for you to look at to gauge your chances with your ex. So, if you find that your ex is engaging in all the behaviors I list below then it may be time for you to move on. However, it works both ways. If you find that your ex is not engaging in any of the behaviors below then that may be an indicator that your chances with your ex girlfriend are really good.

In other words, FULL STEAM AHEAD!

Lets get to our first behavior.

Behavior One- Your Ex Girlfriend Ignores Every Text Message You Send Her

ignore

Lets pretend that after your breakup with your ex girlfriend you decide to implement a few of the texting strategies found here.

You are super pumped about it because that guide is the best one you have ever found… EVER.

(I need my ego stroked by myself every once in a while so bear with me.)

So, you follow the advice there and start preparing a killer text message.

There is no way she is going to ignore this” you think to yourself.

So, you send it,

Screen Shot 2015-05-19 at 3.18.28 PM

Now, after you send this bad boy you sit back in your chair and are pretty proud of yourself.

You have gone online, found the right advice and implemented it.

Unfortunately an hour goes by and you haven’t gotten the response you were hoping for. In fact, you haven’t gotten a response at all.

“It’s ok, I would be crazy to think that everything is going to go my way 100% of the time” you think to yourself.

So, what do you do at this point?

You send your ex girlfriend another text.

This time you try a different tactic,

Screen Shot 2015-05-19 at 3.20.15 PM

It’s a relatively simple text so why shouldn’t she respond to it?

Unfortunately she doesn’t.

In fact, you end up sending her three more text messages trying everything in your power to get her to respond to you but no matter what you do she simply ignores you.

This is not a good sign.

Look, I am very realistic when it comes to getting an ex girlfriend back. Not everything is going to go your way 100% of the time but if your ex girlfriend ignores 100% of your attempts to reach out to her or to make amends that means that in her mind she is ready to move on from you which really hinders your chances for winning her back.

The % Outlook If Your Ex Girlfriend Ignores All Of Your Texts

Not all of your ex girlfriends negative behaviors are created equal.

To illustrate this point I have decided to do something unique in addition to the behaviors that I am going to be teaching you about today.

What is the unique thing I am going to be doing?

What If Your Ex GF Is Attracted To Another Guy?

Simple, I am going to assign a percentage based on how much she is willing to get over you. For example, if I assign a 100% value to a situation it means that your ex girlfriend is 100% over you.

In other words, the lower the percentage value the better it is for you.

Anyways, enough of this set up lets talk about the outlook for a situation where your ex girlfriend is ignoring your text messages.

I thought a lot about this and I have decided to assign this situation with a 75% “getting over you” value.

In other words, there is a 75% chance that you will fail to get your ex girlfriend back in this particular situation.

Behavior Two- She Seems Uninterested When You Text Her Her

not interested

Honestly this is kind of like an extension of behavior one.

Ok, imagine that instead of your ex girlfriend completely ignoring you every time you text her she actually responds to you. However, the responses aren’t very involved. In fact, many times they are one word responses.

Now, for those of you who are new to this site I suggest you read this entire article about my rules on text messaging. Specifically pay attention to the section on word count.

(Your not going to read the article are you?)

….. (sigh)

Ok, I’ll tell you what.

I will give you a quick crash course.

Ideally when you are starting a texting campaign to get your ex girlfriend back the be all end all isn’t just getting a response from her. No, the be all end all is getting an involved response from her.

Do you understand what that means?

Take a look at the text message and response below,

Screen Shot 2015-05-19 at 3.22.11 PM

This is what I like to call an uninvolved text message response.

Basically an uninvolved response occurs when someone responds out of courtesy and doesn’t even really care about the conversation. In fact, in many cases an uninvolved response will be very short when it comes to word count.

In other words, one word text message responses are common.

Now take a look at the text message below,

Screen Shot 2015-05-19 at 3.23.57 PM

This is what I like to call an involved response.

Notice the major difference between the uninvolved text message and the involved one?

Notice how the involved one is not only longer but… involved?

These are the types of text message responses that you are looking for when you are talking with your ex. If you aren’t getting these types of responses from your ex there could be trouble in paradise.

Now, I do want to say that sometimes women take a little bit of warming up or “priming” before you can get responses like this. However, I am not talking about that here. I am talking about if you have been trying to talk to your ex girlfriend for months and still get this attitude of bit*hiness and these pathetic one word responses.

If this happens…

Well, lets just move on to the next section to explain that.

The % Outlook If Your Ex Girlfriend Seems Uninterested When You Text Her

Hmm…

What should I assign this one?

Well, I did say at the beginning of this section that I believed this behavior was an extension of behavior one didn’t I?

Do you remember what I gave behavior one?

75%?

Well, since this particular behavior is extended in the fact that you actually got your ex to respond to you, albeit she was not very responsive it only makes sense that your ex is not as over you as she was with behavior one.

It is for this reason that I have assigned this one 70%.

In other words, you have only a 30% chance of success in this particular instance.

Behavior Three- Your Ex Girlfriend Says Something Super Mean Or Tells You She Hates You

mean

Have you ever gotten so mad at someone that you said something to them that you didn’t mean?

Speaking from personal experience I have.

I am looking at you my very first girlfriend ever.

Would you like to hear a funny story?

A long long time ago in a galaxy far, far away…

Ok, maybe not that long ago but to me it does kind of feel that way.

When I was 17 I got my very first girlfriend ever. Now, I was very naive to how relationships work.

Especially the jealousy part of relationships.

For example, I remember there was one time I called my girlfriend up to see if she wanted to chat on the phone and she informed me that she was hanging out with a friend…

What was this friends name?

Mitchell..

Now, I don’t know about you but I don’t know too many girls named Mitchell. So, I asked her the question that any self respecting man in my position would ask.

“Whose Mitchell?”

“Oh, HE’S just one of my friends…”

Upon hearing this I went berserk and the two of us got into our first fight as a couple.

The relationship went downhill after that and when the inevitable breakup occurred I said as many hurtful things as I possibly could to her.

Why?

Because I was an immature idiot that should have handled things better but that was a lifetime ago, remember?

The point I am trying to make here is that half of the things that I said to her I did mean (and think at some point of the relationship) and the other half I just said to hurt her because of how much I was hurting after the breakup.

So, what does it mean if your ex girlfriend follows this behavior by saying really mean things to you or telling you that she hates you.

Does it mean that she is completely over you?

Well, in order to answer that question we should probably take a look at the percentages.

The % Outlook If Your Ex Girlfriend Says Something Super Mean Or Tells You She Hates You

What’s that old phrase?

“If a girl/guy is mean to you it really means they like you.”

I have found that, that is true some of the time.

If we are looking at this situation from a purely percentage standpoint then I would say that there is a 60% chance that your ex girlfriend is over you if she exhibits this behavior.

Why?

Because, in my experience it is always worse if an ex girlfriend completely ignores you as opposed to saying mean things to you.

For example, if I was to try to get over someone the way I think would be most effective for me would be to completely cut that person out of my life.

And since I am not some sort of genius a lot of other people have arrived at this conclusion as well.

However, since I am a glass half full kind of guy I would look at things this way.

There is a 40% chance that your ex girlfriend isn’t over you and it is ten times easier to get an ex back who is in to you as opposed to one who isn’t.

Behavior Four- Your Ex Girlfriend Starts Dating Someone Else

I want you back

My heart goes out to anyone who is in this situation.

Why?

Well, I am a married man and I know that it would crush me inside if anything ever happened between me or my wife and I know for a fact that if I saw her dating another man I would probably go crazy.

Seriously…

I would probably stop eating..

Pull out my hair..

Turn really white..

Actually, now that I think about it I would probably turn into Gollum from Lord of The Rings,

gollum

Ok, all kidding aside I know it sucks to see your ex girlfriend with another guy but does it mean that she’s over you?

Well, here is where things get really interesting.

I think how much she is over you is dependent on how quickly she moved on or whether or not she is in a rebound relationship.

If you haven’t already read my guide on rebound relationships I highly recommend you do so, so you can properly understand what I classify as a “rebound.”

However, I would like to give you a quick crash course on my theory here.

Lets pretend that your ex girlfriend and you break up after a two year relationship. Well, two weeks later you hear from a friend that she is in a relationship with a guy that she has just met.

Now, my question to you is do you think that is 100% over you yet?

Generally speaking women need more time than two weeks to properly get over a man. This is especially true if they were with the man for over two years.

Of course, the rebound theory works both ways.

Lets say that after dating for two years that your ex girlfriend starts dating a new guy one year after your breakup.

Well, I would say that, that enough time has passed for her to be sufficiently over your relationship.

The % Outlook If Your Ex Girlfriend Starts Dating Someone New

The rebound factor makes the percentage outlook for this situation really tough to nail down.

For example, if indeed your ex girlfriend ends up moving on really quickly after a long intense relationship with you then there is a high probability that she isn’t over you yet. However, if your ex girlfriend moves on to someone new after years apart from you then there is a high probability that she is over you.

Do you see the issue here?

We have two opposing forces working against each other.

So, what I have decided to do is instead of giving you one set percentage number for the entire situation I am going to give you two.

  1. The percentage if your ex girlfriend appears to be in a rebound relationship
  2. The percentage if your ex girlfriend isn’t in a rebound relationship

Lets first start with the percentage if your girlfriend is in a rebound relationship.

In this particular instance I would say that you can expect your ex girlfriend to be over you by 50%.

What’s the thinking behind this?

Simple, either she is going to use the rebound relationship to attempt to heal herself and succeed or she is going to use it to heal herself and fail which ultimately means she will come running back to old faithful… YOU!

Now, the percentage of your ex girlfriend being over you if she is dating someone new and is NOT in a rebound relationship is much higher.

I would give it 90%.

Why?

Well, to be honest the 10% I spotted you here is only out of the unlikely chance that she gets into a fight with her current boyfriend and starts to rely on you.

However, generally speaking this is one of the hardest situations to win an ex back in so it would make sense that the percentage that she is over you by is quite high.

Behavior Five- She Gets Into A Fight With You Every Time You Talk

roughhousing

Fighting with a significant other is completely normal.

In fact, I think an argument can be made that it is healthy.

Wanna know what’s not healthy?

Fighting with your significant other every single time you talk to one another.

I was in a relationship like that once and the best way I can describe it was that every single time the two of us would open our mouths we would be at each other throats.

I would say or do something that made her mad and she would say or do something that made me mad.

The Result = Endless Amounts Of Fighting

It really was that bad.

Oh, and the best part is that the more we fought the more toxic our relationship would become.

By the end of it I can honestly say that I didn’t like her very much and she didn’t like me very much. However, perhaps the most interesting thing I got out of the experience is that I didn’t like myself very much.

Truthfully I hate getting into fights.

In fact, I remember at one point I ended up fighting with her so much that I turned to help in the most unlikely of places, my father.

Now, the thing you have to understand about me is that I hate asking for help period.

What do I hate even more?

Having to go to my parents to ask for help.

But I did it.

And my father gave me some of the most insightful advice that I think holds true to relationships even today.

You need to look at a relationship like a bank account. Any time something good happens it’s like putting money into the bank account. Any time something bad happens it’s like taking money out of the bank account. Ideally you want to have as much money in the bank account as possible.

So, if we stay in this line of thinking.

If we look at a relationship like a bank account that means that any time you get into a fight with a significant other you are taking money out of that bank account.

What do you think happens when you fight with you SO (significant other) every single day of the relationship?

You are infusing your bank account with all type of negative experiences and as a result you are going to go bankrupt.

Bankruptcy = Breakup

But let’s fast forward to after the inevitable breakup and say that you are trying to win your ex girlfriend back but every time you try anything the two of you get into an argument.

In this case how “over” you do you think she is?

The % Outlook If Your Ex Girlfriend And You Always Get Into Fights

If I am being honest I am kind of split on this one a little bit.

Why?

Because everything I have seen tells me that any attention (even negative) is better than no attention. Besides, a woman who cares enough to get into a fight with you must still have some part that cares about you.

However, I have actually been in a situation where I have gotten into a fight pretty much every single time I have talked to an ex and I always fall back on that fact as to why it was easier for me to move on.

For example, whenever I would find myself thinking about my ex I would always think,

“If we were to get back together we would just end up fighting again and I don’t want to put myself in that situation.”

So…

I am a little split on this.

The more I think about it when you consider these two opposing forces (negative attention meaning that she can still care about you, fighting = getting over faster) I think that the fighting ends up trumping the negative attention.

So, I have decided to assign a 70% chance that your ex girlfriend is over you in this case.

I figured that was a fair number since it left enough of a shot (30% to be exact) for a reunion.

Lets move on to our final behavior.

Behavior Six- You Can Never Advance To An “In Person Encounter”

This one might need some explaining.

I want you to take a look at the graphic below,

mobile

This graphic represents a very brief simplified look at the main process I teach to men to get their ex girlfriends back.

Now, the bigger better version of this process can be found in my system, Ex Girlfriend Recovery PRO below,

What Would You Do With...
A Proven System That Allowed You to Attract Any Woman You Wanted (Including Your Ex).
Learn More

Usually I tell men to start with a period of NC. After that I tell them to slowly build attraction through texting and then to transition from texting to phone calls. Once you get your ex girlfriend on the phone your goal is to build attraction there and go on a date or see her in some sort of “in person encounter.”

Again, check out my PRO system for the complete rundown of how the process works.

What I want to talk about now though is that last step of the process.

Any guy can do a period of NC.

Any guy can talk to his ex through text messages.

Heck, most guys can even transition from a text message to a phone call.

Want to know what’s hard to do?

Getting your ex girlfriend to agree to go on a date with you.

I am going to throw out a hypothetical situation here and I want you to listen to what I have to say.

Lets pretend that you go through the process above with your ex girlfriend perfectly.

Lets say that you do your period of no contact.

You build up a ton of attraction through text messages and you even do so over the phone.

In fact, things seem to be going so well that you think it would be a great idea to ask your ex girlfriend out on a date or at the very least a very non threatening cup of coffee.

To your delight she agrees.

“Sweet, everything is going according to plan” you think to yourself.

But it isn’t…

The day you are supposed to meet your ex for that cup of coffee she sends you this text message,

Screen Shot 2015-05-19 at 11.19.21 AM

“No big deal” you think to yourself.

“I will just reschedule with her.”

The problem is that you start to notice a trend.

Every time you reschedule your date with your ex girlfriend she always seems to stand you up at the last minute.

In other words, you aren’t ever able to advance to the “in person” stage of the process.

What kind of shot do you have?

The % Outlook If You Can’t Get The In Person Encounter

How can I put this?

You will never get your ex girlfriend back if you can’t get the in person encounter at some point.

In other words, you have a ZERO percent chance.

But that’s not the question.

The question is how OVER you is your ex.

Well, I think it’s telling that if your ex girlfriend seems to be responding to you positively in every other way but she won’t meet with you in person it means that she isn’t over you yet.

In other words, I think she is 50% over you.

Why?

Because, she just may need more attraction built up before she is ready to meet with you which means she clearly wants that attraction and isn’t over you!

		

Written by EGR team mate

Chris Seiter

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286 Comments on "How To Know If Your Ex Girlfriend Is Over You"

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Paul
Guest
Hi, About some time ago my ex and I broke up on semi good terms and semi chaotic terms, I tried to remind a friend and we even shared a kiss during this period. But one day when trying to cheer her up for a final she, out of the blue, told me she could not speak to me anymore and blocked me from every possible means of interaction, this was a few days after I confessed to her cousin and one of her best friends my intention to win her back nobily of course. Since than, however, my attempt… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Paul,

why not try the no contact rule first?

Jesse
Guest
Hi there. I’m hoping to get some insight into my situation. My girlfriend and I were together for 9 months before she had to go back to her home country (Japan) we still stayed together for an additional 8 months in a long distance relationship, and she was supposed to come back see me (in Australia) of August this year. She booked her plane ticket 5 months prior and it all seemed like it’ll all work out. The only issue was that she was just finishing uni, and if she didn’t get a job she wouldn’t be able to come.… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Jesse

Are you in nc now?

houston
Guest
my ex texted me last week after 2 weeks of NC, because she is dating other people, I responded, we were texting back and forth a little but I was coming off needy I guess. I wasnt begging for her back, but I was just texting her like normal and she was being short or rude in a sense where she didnt seem to interested in texting me….over the past 4 days she was texting me and on a trip in oregon which she practically told me nothing about and didnt really send me pictures or text me about it.… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Restart nc..stick to at least 30 days..you can only break it if she literally says she wants to get back together

Scall
Guest

My ex is responding with a one word or two words answers. Then quit the conversation (I know I should quit the conversation first, but she is faster and quick). How long should I wait to message her again? Without being spam and look desperate? Or should I just wait if she will message me first?

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor
Andrew Lueb
Guest
My GF broke up with me last week. She was saying how this relationship was stressing her out emotionally and physically, and was saying I wasn’t giving her more attention and saying she felt she was giving more into the relationship than receiving. She’s afraid to try to start over with me thinking this might happen again, and wants to be friends still in case we needed someone to talk to if things got bad. I tried to reason to her that I wanted to try harder and prove to her that I can be a better man, but she… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Andrew,

do you want to try the no contact rule?

Conroy
Guest
So me and my fiance were together for almost 6 years. We have 2 small children one aged 4 the other is 6 months. I lost my job recently and were were evicted from our apartment, the same day we are evicted she breaks down and tells me she cant do this, and she wants to break up. I asked her if this is a 100% what she wants and she reply’s yes, I don’t want to beg or break down so we proceed to each pack our own belongings. As we finish she comes to me and kisses me… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Conroy,

don’t take it seriously.. That’s just out of emotion. If you’re going to do nc that means it would be limited, it means you only talk about the kids or regarding the kids and exchanging stuff. No relationship or feelings talk.

Kenneth Thompson
Guest
So my situation is a little difficult to explain. So my ex and I broke up about a month ago, we were together for almost 5 years. I haven’t done no contact because we have a 1 year old son, and I watch him during the day while she works. I have kept it to minimal conversation unless its about our son for about 3 days now. She seems to be happier, and when we do see each other in person now the encounters are 100 times better and less awkward than before. To me it feels like the time… Read more »
Kenneth Thompson
Guest

And after the break up she was still calling me babe for about 2 weeks almost, even though she told me then she wanted to be done done as well.

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Start minimal nc.. Only talk abiut your child and focus in other activities that improve yourself

MAX
Guest
me and my ex girl had a relationship of almost 2 years. she blow it off cause people told her i cheated, she was always scared to hell to lose me. and told me that a million times whitin the realtionship. now shes in rebound with a guy who told her “i cheated… ” he was my best friend till that… i went nc for almost 4 months and she reached out 2 days.. trying to make me feel bad.. i initiated contact last week and she was still angry and upset. seeing her responses.. although she wanted to meet… Read more »
MAX
Guest

she still called my babe and darling to be honest. :p

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

During nc, did you still see her and talked or replied to her? How much did you improve and how active were you in improving?

John
Guest
my 30 day of no contact was successful by making her miss me n end up by her calling me n asking me where do u vanish n though sometimes she behaves hot n cold …it wz not a big deal but I’d mess up again by my drunkful text ,calling n needy behavior n now she stopped responding my text even though sometimes she pick my call n moreover after my messy behavior she seems to be interested in some guys…… What should I do now ? Do I Hv to try Second No contact again for how many… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

yeah, restart nc and do it properly

Mayor Cole
Guest
Hello EGR. How are you doing?? i had a breakup with my girlfriend like 3days ago and have not been myself although we have had this kind of issue before and i had to beg and i even involve couple of my friends to help me beg her on my behalf.. our relationship started way back from college for like 3yrs plus we’ve been together…meanwhile she had an opportunity to travel out of the country and we don’t get to see like we used to be but instead..we chat, talk on phone and sometimes do video chat too…so, to cut… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Have you talked again now?

Jim
Guest
Hi, Yesterday i went to a event, and my ex girlfriend was there. she left me about a month ago and she says we wont ever get back together. but yesterday she was there and i didn’t talk or greet her anything neither does she, she completely ignored me and i was with 2 friends and she talked with them and said that i make her life bitter and she is now happy. i don’t understand how i make her life bitter even tho i didn’t speak to her in over 2 weeks. she starting having the party life and… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

do a full 30 days of no contact period, improve yourself massively.. she probably said that to them because she thought you asked them to ask her

Jim
Guest
Hi Amor, Thanks for the reply. I didn’t ask my friends nor any one for her but i think she has GIGS and to be honest i was a really really good guy for her. i would really like to see a post about GIGS on women/girls i have read the one on EBR but i think for women it’s different. as i have read through allot of forums there’s nothing i can do to make her realize that “our” grass was greener. the only option i think i have is to really make my grass greener than it was.… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

it’s actually almost the same.. she found something better on the other guy, or the relationship got boring and wants variety..

Stan
Guest
So,about 11 months ago I broke up with my girlfriend. It was my decision as I had to leave for another town very far away. We spoke very little,until I returned back to our hometown about 5 months ago. In the meantime she started a long range relationship with a much older guy(15 years her senior). She has refused to talk to me after a fight,after I found out about her relationship. She proceeded to block me after I tried contacting her about 3 months ago. The situation seems pretty hopeless,however I know that deep down she still has feelings… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Stan,

are you still blocked now?

Stan
Guest

Yes,I am still blocked. We have some common friends,however it will be hard to pass any message to her. Truth is she blocked me after I mocked her current relationship. I know she is really hurt and that she is doing much better now,however I also know that I was special to her.

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

how did you know that she still has feelings for you? Why not attend a mutual friend’s party or event?But dont start out begging her or telling her you know she still has feelings for you.. just look your best and be friendly

E
Guest
So my ex and I broke up about four months ago now. I did no contact for about four weeks then expressed to her I missed her. As luck would have it we started taking an acting class together and carpooling together, which ended up in us hooking up about two weeks ago. I spent the night this past weekend but she wouldn’t let me touch her, saying she didn’t want me to get attached. We spoke last night and she said wanted to just be friends, for now. I texted asking about exploring friends with benefits this morning and… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi E ,

oh no… well, the sleeping usually goes well more on your side, the suggesting to be friends with benefits, not so.. for now, go back to being active with yourself..

Ben
Guest
Hi , I was with my gf for two years it was great we lived together had a dog and everything seemed great , then we had a stupid fight and didn’t talk for a week , we got back together and then she booked New Years with her friend to stay in a hotel , I got paranoid and felt stupid and broke things off , she text me s few times since then went quite , I texted her over xmas begging her back which I know was a mistake she said she doesn’t want anything serious anymore… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi ben,
I think so.. do you want to try the no contact rule?

Mike
Guest
G’day EGFR. So, in mid-september my girlfriend of two-and-a-bit years broke up with me. I had an undiagnosed anxiety disorder that was making me negative and paranoid, which I’ve since started therapy for. Obviously I was distraught when it happened. So after the obligatory post-crying are-you-ok texts, she’s gone radio silent. I’ve done a few 21day NC periods over the intervening period, and used a few of your example texts from the book to try and open contact after each NC period, but only gotten a very cursory response the first time and none subsequently. I’m now doing a longer… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Mike,

the more you do nc, the less it can help you because she’ll notice your pattern.. it’s either you move on or do a really long one like 6 months or 1 year

Mike
Guest
Heh. Kinda irrelevant now, she unfriended me last night for no apparent reason. I put up a facebook post yesterday morning thanking people for supporting me and saying that dealing with my issues would be a struggle but I’d make it; perhaps that rubbed her the wrong way? Could also just be a symbolic new years thing I guess, or family telling her to, but I like to think that it might mean she still has feelings she hasn’t processed. Either way, extending the no contact phase might be a good idea. Doing it now makes me seem desperate and… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

doing what? If you meant trying to b talk to her, yes it would seem like chasing

Mike
Guest

Alrighty then. Her birthday is in early March, will that be too soon or should I wait a full 6 months?

(Thanks for these responses, by the way)

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

you’re welcome! go for full 6 months

Mike
Guest
Gotcha. It’ll be tough, but I guess it’s necessary. I don’t think she’ll find anyone else in that time and she might find that her life isn’t that much better without me. Extending NC to 6 months puts us at mid-may, kind of an inopportune time with our university schedules, but that’s gonna be future-Mike’s problem. How much should i read into the unfriending? She wouldn’t have heard from me for about 3 weeks, and it would have been done on late new year’s Day her time. Not being a psychic I totally understand if you can’t be concrete, but… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

it can be a the new year blues.. but more likely she’ll still be curious about you after that..so keep being active in social media

Pete
Guest
Hi I just recently split up with my girlfriend I do love her but she suffers from a cluster B personality disorder & she threantned suicidie to munipulate me. I care about her & went no contact for a month so i could giver her time to get better. During that time she got into a rebound relationship saying that she was taking it slow, then a week later she is no longer in that relationship. I have contacted her via text but she wont met up saying that it will be too hard on both of us. I think… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Pete,

for me you should move on from a manipative person.. if she really improved then she has to see you did too, that you moved on, for her to be open being friendly..

Josh
Guest
I left a comment earlier but I feel that this was more in-depth and appropriate. Hi, My ex and I have recently broke up around 3 weeks ago now, this was because she ended up kissing someone else on a night-out with her friend and she said she cannot be with someone when she has done that and she likes this other lad, I knew about the lad as they were messaging a little whilst we were together, I thought it was odd and he was texting inappropriately however I thought nothing of it and thought they were friends and… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Josh,

to maximise the no contact period, dont just wait for her..be active in improving yourself.. make her miss you by improving yourself massively

Josh
Guest
Hi Amor, Thank you for the reply. Since the break up I have been going to the gym 5 days a week, weighed myself yesterday and I have lost 8KG this first month! Which is a big booster for me and making me feel better about myself in a sense. I have tried to get out more with my friends and family and being more active, so going fairly well myself. Over the Christmas period I got a slight update. Her best-friend actually called me, explaining everything she has done and what she has been doing being honest. I found… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

just go on with improving yourself but dont unfriend her

Josh
Guest
Hi Amor, Okay I will continue with the improving of myself and not unfriend her. One quick question for now. Her birthday is in 11 days, would you suggest I say happy birthday or just leave it? I am still going to see out NC for now since the 27th of December when I had a go at her, it was in place before too. I feel if I say happy birthday it shows I still care for her, I am still bothered and can work well. But on the other hand, may make her think “urghh why is he… Read more »
Josh
Guest
My ex messaged me yesterday telling me she wanted to make up and get on goods terms. We both spoke in a friendly matter and sorted everything out, we are both glad we are on good terms but we are just going to be friends. I asked her about certain stuff. She told me that she likes this other boy alot and she respects him, I asked her about us and I told her I still care and have alot of feelings for her. She apologised to me for the way it has ended and what she had done and… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

You have to mean what you said. So, move on first. It’s still the old advice of improving yourself because for her to be attracted, you have to be attractive right?

Josh
Guest
Yes I will stick by what I have said, message her down the line when I am ready and focus on me. Moving on at the minute is the best thing for me anyway, because it is clear to me she isn’t bothered about me in that way anymore but still cares. With time everything should fizzle over. Even if she is with this other boy by the time I message her and she is happy I will still try and talk to her, I just feel I can’t attract again as to me they most likely won’t work out… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

That’s good.. you’re welcome!

Josh
Guest
Hi Amor, There is just one more thing I need to understand and hope you can help. The other day when we spoke, she asked me when talking about each other “I dont know if I want to ask, have you tried getting with anyone else?”. I have been thinking about this since Thursday and I feel this was an odd question, if she is not bothered about me anymore then why ask? And if she is so happy with this other lad then why be interested? As I said before she said she is happy and doing great and… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

yeah, that’s a good sign.. use that to your advantage..go on dates.. because if she’s jealous, then use that.. she msy regret your efforts after pushing you away when she sees you improving and dating others

Josh
Guest
Hi Amor, So her birthday is coming up this Sunday and I wondered if you think it would be a good idea for me to tell her happy birthday? Feel like is shows I am accepting the decision and getting on well and shows I am being a better person along with accepting the matter. I feel this could be a good way of maybe getting her to talk to me again… possibly. Sunday I feel could be a maker or a breaker in a sense, because I feel that this guy she is seeing still who she cheated on… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

did you greet her?

Josh
Guest
Hi Amor, I left it. I thought it wad for the best to not message her as it could annoy her or ruin her day, also the best for myself. We have not spoken since either but she has unblocked me on instagram the other day which I again find odd. Still not with this other guy, and have been told by her work mates who I also know and went out clubbing with on Friday, that it will never happen as he’s an idiot. Doesn’t seem like she is getting up to much or being very busy either. I’ve… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

I think you made the right choice.. that’s a good sign from her.. maybe she wants to see your posts

Josh
Guest
Hi Amor, Hope you are well So here’s a slight update. I have kind of come to the realisation that I don’t think it will ever happen again with us, she’s made her choice and sticking to it. Since my last update we have argued over me telling someone what happened when they asked and the person told her that I told the, making the arguement, which was annoying at the least. She was very bitter with me and nasty. Monday I decided I won’t dwell on it any longer and be myself and just be happy, been much better… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

To move on? Yes.. if that’s what helps you move on, yes.

Josh
Guest
Hi Amor, Hope you are well I’m quite confused so wondering if you can advise. My ex- Tuesday night messaged me on what’s app after not speaking for over 2-3 weeks before with laughing faces, she then said she didn’t mean to send it me and then roley eyes… I ignored the messages, read and no reply but 2 days late she unfriends me on Facebook and blocks me on instagram. Why would she do that? I felt like she was trying to possibly be clever to make me speak to her but I since haven’t contacted her at all.… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

I am! Thank you for asking 🙂 She’s probably seeing if you will react to that..

Josh
Guest

Hi Amor,

Ever since she messaged me a couple weeks back I have been so tempted to message her back, obviously this is probably what she wanted to achieve.

I haven’t done and restrained from looking at her social media websites… do you suggest I try and talk to her or just leave it be? I’d say I miss her but I know I don’t now and I miss our memories together and want someone by my side not particularly my ex, but then I think I do miss her too.

Thank you

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

if you feel you have improved and can handle building rapport without being emotional, go for it.

John
Guest
Hi, I just looking some advice!! My ex and I had been together 5 years and we have been split for 1 year now. I chased her at the beginning and done bits of no contact but could never hold out for the 30/45 days. I got my act together moved on and stop all contact etc so 1.5 months later of no contact she text me saying a few days ago saying happy birthday hope it a good 1!! I just replied saying thanks….I then met her out in a bar a few days later, first time in months… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi John,

yup, rest in contacting her in the mean time. Don’t bring up meeting her up again and then when you meet make it light, fun, and casual.

imran
Guest
hello. I had relationship of almost 2 years with this girl a long distance relationship we didn’t see each other all that time. I love her see also use tell me she all about me because I told her and trusted .month and half back she started not Saying lovely words the time become limited. when I asked what happened that’s time she says it’s late I want to sleep. I started asking don’t you love,miss me like the way I do the answer was why are asking me those things one time she put a name of a boy… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi imran,

do you want to try the no contact rule?

yogesh
Guest
hi,i been dating a girl for 4 months as recently we had a break up 2 weeks before due to lot of arguments which she tells me m lying about the stuff and i hurted her everytime time i spoke to her after break up she just fought with me i begged for the second chance and she gave a chance but we fought again and she said i lied her again she dont trust me anymore and she says she loves me but she doesnt wanted to be with me. and we just ended up.how can i get her… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Yogesh,

do you want to try the no contact rule?

david saint
Guest
i started no contact about a month after she broke up with me. 8 days later she text me randomly about something to do with our last conversation (revolved around my mom). she ended it with “hope you’re doing okay”. I did reply, and let her know i have the money i owed her from our trip before we broke up, and to text me later if she wanted (to arrange giving it to her). She didnt reply, but later that night posted a pic i took of her with her truck from july 4th. It was a special night… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi David,
it’s hard to answer that question, but there is a chance that she doesnt want to cut all ties with you

Test
Guest

Just testing first

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

hellow

Sahil
Guest
Hi , I have read this article and I’m little lost and depressed these days. Hope you can help by reading my story. I’ll try to make it brief. I had a long distance relationship for 5 years. Everything was going great. We talked every day for about 5-6 hours. FaceTime was also used once or twice in a week. She used to care for me a lot and supported me a lot. She can’t see tears in my eyes as well. She was an emotional type of person. We haven’t met for 3 years and before the breakup her… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Sahil,

how are you now? I hope you’re in therapy..

Subu
Guest
Hi, So I had been with this girl for around 3 years ie throughout my college. We were very very much in love. We had our share of fights and all but we always managed to get through all that and we loved each other like hell.. We were mad for each other. We had talked about everything… life after college and how we will make it up.. how to survive everything and ultimately get married. We had been active sexually as well. It might nt be such a big thing, but it was huge for me.. To get involved… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Subu

how long have been ldr? how much do you see each other in a month during ldr? cox it’s either she met somebody or finds ldr too difficult

Raymond
Guest
So, i have been in a pretty intense relationship for 10 months. We met and we hit it off straight away and i fell for her and i think she was obsessed with me very quickly. She had previously been in a toxic on and off again relationship for 3 years. When i met her she was on a break but met me and split up with him. i was defiantly a rebound which lead to to 2 very happy and intense months relationship. Then after no contact with her ex she started speaking again behind my back. She tried… Read more »
Raymond
Guest

I woke up to a message from here saying she was sorry for an angry text she sent in the middle of the night when she told me she would never speak to me again. she apologised and said she wants to remain civil and said i was the best thing that ever happened to her, now im even more confused. i said to her its okay and that i am ready to move on and maybe one day we could be on speaking terms but for now its best i forget about you. i got no reply

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Raymond,

I hope you entered no contact instead and proceeded to improve yourself.. because if you kept talking, you would more probably be friendzoned.

Pedro Henrique
Guest
Hello guys! So I’m having one of the worse periods of my Life. Me and my wife we were struggling to be able to live in another country, We married and bla bla bla. But two 5 months ago I started to see her getting weird with me and getting distant, we were not having sex as we use to have and I notice that she was sad and bored. Unfortunately we are poor and I had to learn English and programming by myself cuz we couldn’t afford a curse. I think our relationship got really boring because I was… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

HI Pedro,

how are you now? Are you in no contact?

BJeff
Guest
So me and my ex-girlfriend/mother of my child were together for 3 years. Before we even got together I was dealing with some legal issues which she knew of. We ended up dating anyways. We were together for 3 years so she knew what was going on with my legal situation. So we had our son last year and 13 days later I had to go pay my debt to society for 15 months. We knew for 4 -5 months when I had to leave. Well while I was gone she and my son came and saw me and we… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Bjeff,

I hope you dont mind me asking but why didnt you go home to her right away? right now are you in ldr?

Bobby
Guest
Hello, looking for advice. So My girlfriend and I broke up about a month ago for reason I’m not going to get into bc it unimportant. Anyways She moved about and hour away and stopped talking to me. She called me a few days later to say she wants to break up. Basically saying she wants to be on her own and she is happier on her own. I do the normal begging for her not to and that I love her or w/e and it doesn’t work. So i go into NC until her Bday when I wish her… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi bobby,

thta’s good that you started to do nee things.. do you have a new routine now and are you actively posting in social media?

Josefino
Guest
I think i was a rebound and i read that my chances are pretty bad if that is the case, even so i think the relationship was for the most part great, we had been friends before, well you said that my chances are bad, but i kissed her some days ago, we make out and she stopped cause she said things were going to end badly, she told me to keep calling her, but i havent cause i feel i am gonna be friendzoned, i kinda over her but the thing is that i want to try again cause… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Josefino,

did you start nc instead?

BodegaB
Guest
So I was seeing this girl for a few months and she was falling for me hard. She’d contact me everyday literally and I feel like she was falling in love with me. But we started arguing for various reasons, including us acting cold towards each other and eventually we had a big fight where we ended up calling each other nasty names. Mine was worse, though because I called her a bitch. She flipped on me and told me she wouldn’t tolerate that and she stopped talking to me for a couple weeks. I didn’t reach out during that… Read more »
Ryo
Guest
Hello, me and my ex goes to the same school, and we started dating around june 2015, she helped me through a lot and we loved each other and stayed faithfully, but then last february 2016, we had a fight and she told me that she didnt like my behavior, because i accused my bestfriend once for their interactions day by day, and she thought that we needed some space, but it turned out that she considered it that we were no longer in a relationship, i dint noticed that, and then in april we had another fight, because during… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Ryo,

are you in nc nowM

BHUSHAN DESHPANDE
Guest

Hi Amor, Thank you so much. I realize I love her and i want her back at any condition with her will.
She loves me so much. She is missing me every moment. I do the same. She is still studying so i m waiting for right time.
Please Advice me how shall i convenience her to give me support and keep loving me , have patience. Please tell me. I will convenience her parents, I trust myself and our love.
Please REPLYYYYYYY

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

sorry for the late reply bhushan..have you talked to ger father?

BHUSHAN DESHPANDE
Guest

Not yet, First I need to gain her confidence. She loves me but she don’t date with me because of her Dad. I need to regain my relationship. I want to make her crazy about me. Please Tell me how to deal with this. I talked her yesterday and said i want you back she said OK but still she is not dating with me. I really miss her badly. I love her from bottom of my heart.
Please tell me HOW DO I CONVINCE HER TO DATE WITH ME AGAIN? HOW TO BRING HER BACK IN MY LIFE PERMANANTLY?

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

don’t chase her like that.. and there’s no permanent thing in this world.. because in order for a relationship to work long term, you have to work for it and continue on working on yourself. You have stop chasing her first and then start being independent and improving yourself.

James
Guest
Hi, so me and my girlfriend are both 17 and we dated for just over 2 months. We were very involved with each other for about four months but were only officially dating for 2 months. We both lost our virginities to one another and we both explained how much we love the other one and over time we spent as much time as we could together. She is a big athlete and we could only really spend weekends together but we texted a lot and used snapchat a lot and used face time a lot to communicate and spend… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor
Hi James, first don’t rush it.. I know you’ve been trying to get her back in a while but if you’re mindset is to get her back asap, then you’re rushing it. Second, work on being truly happy without her.. as in alone or with other friends. Just happiness apart from her.. You said you were always together before, so I think you’re used to her being around, that’s why it’s hard now to not talk to her.. You’re just a week into nc, you’re still early in. You should focus on improving yourself in the coming days and meeting… Read more »
BHUSHAN DESHPANDE
Guest
My gf cum would be wife broke up with me 15 days before after two years together in a relationship. She told her mom that she likes me and want to get married with him but her mom denies because her papa wont be agree. Mom not having any issues except Age Difference. She is 19 and I am 28. My family can accept her easily but her father may create scene. I want her back (i moved on and accepted happily but still). I don’t think so I am wrong or i m making mistake by marrying 9 years… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Bhushan,

Do you really want her back? If so, talk to her father. Try to understand him and find out what he is worried about and assure him that you love his daughter.

BHUSHAN DESHPANDE
Guest

Hi Amor, Thank you so much. I realize I love her and i want her back at any condition with her will.
She loves me so much. She is missing me every moment. I do the same. She is still studying so i m waiting for right time.
Please Advice me how shall i convenience her to give me support and keep loving me , have patience. Please tell me. I will convenience her parents, I trust myself and our love.

BHUSHAN DESHPANDE
Guest
Hi Amor. You guys are amazing. Nice Job… Now Me and my gf (ex) is having cool time. I stopped chasing her and just normal chatting leads to me like she avoids the breakup and patch up topic. Even we had chatting/calls daily but normal chat with care and love. She cares about me… and also she is missing me as per She told. Now What should be my next move??? Shall i continue with this friendly chat? Please Reply – Our anniversary is coming on 20 July the day we met 2 years ago. I am planning to gift… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

hi bhushan,

that’s good.. did you give the bunny? after texts, you should proceed to calls.

roman
Guest

Hey,

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Roman 🙂

Darren
Guest
I know this is for woman but its took me 12 weeks to get over it with my ex i tried to be freinds i could not kept losing it she is back with her ex fair enough was going to re add but she cant have me on her facebook as her ex new bf family and freinds are on there but still has in a relationship 15 nov which was us up and she dumped me back in march were going to meet again but next day said she met someone else i went mad again not over… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

HI Darren,

sorry for the late reply.. did you proceeed to contact instead?

Sam Walker
Guest
Hi! I will try to make this as short as possible.. I had a girlfriend for 4 years and I broke up 2 months ago. The reason was me getting feelings where I did not know if I was ready to miss out on the “being young and free” part or not. So I told her and I took 3 months thinking about it, she knowing I did. At the end of those 3 month thinking period (still in a relationship and all) she wanted and answer and I decided to break up, even though I did not really know… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Sam,
sorry for the late reply..are you still in nc? it’s better if you just casually start over because the letter might confuse her

Mike
Guest
I have started gradually texting my ex after NC. It was a messy drawn out breakup where we both did crappy things (mostly her), so I wanted to really ease into building rapport. I texted her about a TV show we used to watch and she responded right away positively. I waited 3 days and then texted her about something else I thought she’d be interested in. She responded right away but brought up that she was upset that I deleted some photos of her from social media – not all, just ones of just her and few of us.… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Mike,

it really has to start that way, like a person you don’t know, you have to show interest in them first and in order for them to show interest in you, you have to show value in their interests..For example, if she likes biking, and you posted stuff doing biking, she will more liking ask you about that..

If she loves Games of thrones, be the best Games of thrones source or have a great insight about it for her to want to talk to you..

and continue what you were doing during nc to improve yourself..

Donald
Guest
Hey long time reader. I just have a question regarding this but i think im asking on the right page. But my ex and i broke up about 10-11 months now, she broke up with me after i think it was an argument I’m not really sure what happened because it happened to long ago. So after that she took me off of everything i think a week after we broke up she began lurking me on facebook for two months straight until she stopped then after that i confronted her asking her why she did that and her response… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Donald,

Ok, you said you are focusing on yourself? so, you’re like doing nc?well, actually you are because you’re ignoring her, but it’s good that you pointed out that you’re focusing on yourself.. It looks like she’s missing you.. but the problem is she has a boyfriend right now.. so when you get in touch when you feel you’re ready, be cautious before she strings you along with her current… you can build rapport just don’t get intimate while she has a boyfriend.

Darron
Guest
Hi I have been reading through all of your posts me and my partner split up a month ago after a 10 year relationship together since teenagers I cheated on her 4 years ago and was really guilty and confessed to what I did and she did forgive me me just couldn’t forget about it and she stayed with me up until a month ago since she has been getting loads of attention of this other guy at her work always flirting and message each other I seen the messages and confronted her and she said he was just a… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Darron,

she sees him as a grass is greener syndrome.. I’m sorry about your grandma.. are you doing no contact now?

Owen
Guest
HI,I am a 20 years old guy who has some relationship trouble as well. My ex has broken up with me since last year Oct. There are two reasons why she broke with me which were she felt that because she was elder than me 5 years old and her family didn’t allow. She used to be my classmate. And I feel that she was very special girl I have ever met. And now she has started to work and I am still studying. And last year, she went to Singapore to work alone, she felt pressure on her job… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Owen,

even if you didn’t talk to each other, if you weren’t active for yourself you should start to do that first.. Build a new routine, a new life, improve yourself before starting to try to rebuild rapport with her.. If you’re long distance, you should also consider time, money and a plan to be together if ever you get back together because if you don’t have those, there’s a slim chance it would work.

Hjalte Steffensen
Guest
Hi. I am a 20 years old guy who has some relationship trouble. Without going too much into it, I found your guide and I have read it a couple of times now. It has helped me a lot so far! You gave me a goal, something to thrive against. I am writing to you because I need your advice… Me and my ex were together for 1 year and then we broke up. Afterwards we have been dating on and off for about 1 year. About 4 months ago we decided to try and only be friends because we… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Hjalte,

I agree with your plan.. you can try that.

Travis
Guest
I won’t go into the whole story…but….off and on with a girl I love for a little over two years. We met because she dated a friend of mine. Eventually, we moved in together…but that only lasted a few months. Every time we would have a BIG fight, she’d go hang out with her ex…so after a few time so this happening, I bailed out. Moved my stuff out of the house, and broke up with her. No contact for about….45 days…. Recently began speaking a little, went to a baseball game a few days after we started speaking. We… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Travis,

she went out with you..that’s a good sign.. Contnue what you were doing to improve yourself during nc and then try a little jealousy tactic too..

Huy
Guest
Hi, My girlfriend and I just broke up 2 days ago and I know her for 1 year and 8 months. We doing LDR and is only 3 hrs away. She was dating this guy for 4 yrs, but knowing him for 8 years total. He really love her a lot and live in same city with her. During the 2 yrs dating that guy, she got bored of him and then met me. We start to have relationship and she start to like spending time with me a lot. We go to far places and usually spend over night… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Huy,

for me you should move on from her.. She’s been doing that for a year to you? There’s no respect in that… If she really loves you she will fix all of this.. If you keep showing her that everything is ok and that you’re waiting, she probably wouldn’t do it because you’re still staying.. why go the hassle of dealing with things?

Huy
Guest
Thanks for reply AMOR, I love this girl more than other girls I have been with. That why I come here to see what is my chance getting her back? So far she sent me 2 texts and 2 phone call on 2nd day and asking me how I am doing. She said she wondering what I am up to, a lot of things going through her mind about me. The 2nd text, she said why I am not talking to her. She said she figure that I want to hear her voice anymore and then she wish me well… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

IF she’s just worried if you’re okay, ask your family to tell her that you are.. And then if she still persistently calls and tells she wants to work things out then it’s ok to break nc.

Szilard S
Guest
OK. My girlfriend broke up with me after 3 years. I was devastated…i begged for a second chance, which she gave me, but then she broke up again, telling me that she wants to be alone, to figure out who she is. The thing is that, she was deeply in love with me, but i wasn’t is committed to the relationship as she was..so i think she lost attraction. I did the 21 No Contact, after that i contacted her she was veery grateful that i contacted her, she told me that it was very hard for her. First time… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Szilard,

since you’re already going out in dates, you can try to tell her that

Aaron
Guest
Hi My Fiance broke up with me in December after two years together in a long distance relationship which we had make work by compromising on trips back and forth in 3 month installments,the first 6 months we spent together in her home country.At the time she wasnt working by I had a travelling job so she agreed to come to the countries where I was working,to make it work .It was difficult for her sitting at home while I was out at work but we enjoyed exploring new places and had a very good quality of life.we are very… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Aaron,

sorry for the late reply.. did you priceed to nc?

Jordan
Guest
Hey, my girlfriend broke up with me on March 17th, about a week and a half ago. At first, she said it was family problems. Then I heard from some friends that she said I was too clingy(I don’t think I was clingy, she would yell at me to text back haha). After she sent the breakup text, I responded with “Okay” and handled everything well from there. Then, I started freaking out and I sent her a really big long text 3 times…. Breakup was Thursday so… 1 big long text on Saturday, another on Wednesday, and another on… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

HI Jordan,

sorry for the late reply.. If it’s just about her future you can do that even if you’re just friends. What’s your plan?

Jerry Flores
Guest
Ok you guys have been a lot of help in the past . So I had my ex fiancé . We date two years and we have been broken up seven months . It was really hard because I live in America and she lives in Japan . The whole time she has been telling me she is over me , she has no feelings and for me to move on . I kept being stubborn and just kept at it but of course in a cool way . She came down to San Diego on a business trip and… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor
HI Jerry, sorry for the late reply.. for me you were right about confronting her but it should be in a calm way.. if you still did it in a calm way and she reacted like that, she’s the one who’s wrong.. But the fact that she talks about means she’s not that over you.. YOu have to avoid get her trust back by avoiding the mood swings and being angry because once you do that, she’ll just think you’re still the same as before.. If you already did, take a rest and then try to text again and then… Read more »
Randall
Guest
Alright. Me and my ex broke up in June of 2015. She left me and instantly got with this guy that I discovered she was talking to a few times throughout our relationship. We had been together for five and a half years. Every time I confronted her about it during our relationship she would always start crying and apologizing and begging me to stay. I always did. Anyways, her and the new guy split and are apart, I guess, because she found out he cheated with his ex. So she hits me up out of the blue one day… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Randall,

talk it about it..talk in a calm way.. tell her you don’t want to disrespect her fir having sex if you’re not together..and then ask her, ” so, are we back together?” because if not, you would want to know what everything is

Randall
Guest

Yea. I’m just unsure of how to go about it. The first night she said something about not wanting to hurt my feelings and she asked that we keep it between us. So I’m not really sure if I should let it continue or not.

Randall
Guest

Well I think now she is talking to the guy she just broke up with again. So I really have no idea as to where to go from here. I really can’t tell what she’s got going on. I guess she just wanted to have me around while she was figuring everything out.

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

okay..observe her first.. if that’s really the case..walk away instead of being a reserve

Randall
Guest
So me and her went out the other night and on the way back she starts talking to me and saying “I don’t want you to get your hopes up that this is going somewhere it isn’t, because I’m not shit, and I’m not emotionally available right now. I really want us to be on good terms and I don’t want to fuck you over, but you’re not going to get fucked over. I just don’t have any kind of plans for the future.” What should I take from all that? She said she really likes hanging out with me… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Randall,

This is kind of unique. Usually girls go into friends with benefits because they’re emotionally attached but it looks she’s just in it for the sex and you’re the one hurting. It’s not healthy. If she already cleared she’s not emotionally available, distance yourself now because you would be the only one getting hurt.

Randall
Guest

It’s just confusing me because she does things like text me all day and kiss me every time before she leaves. It’s like she’s wanting a relationship without the commitment.

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

it can be, yiu have to create a sense of urgency … Do other things, don’t be too available..and try to do a little jealousy tactic

Jay
Guest
Hey there, I was looking to see if you guys could help me understand this for my own mental health and to see if I have any chance possible to start getting my ex-girlfriend back. We broke up back in January and it was amiable at first. She said that she needed a break and she still wanted to be friends with me and keep me in her life. She said that she wasn’t being a good girlfriend to me because of how she changed over the last couple of months were she was quick to anger and unhappy. But… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Jay,

maybe she doesn’t know how to respond… let’s give her time.. if you’ll bump into each other again then that’s a good time to kind of guage and start to reconnect little by little..even slowly.. just avoid talking about the relationship whenever you get to talk to her..especially at the start of the reconnectio

Jay
Guest

Alright that sounds like a plan to me. I’ll try to keep a positive outlook on this. I at least made a friendly gesture and kind of left the door open for her if she wants me to come back into her life. In the mean time, I’ll still be focusing on improving myself, having fun, and being happy. Thank you so much for the advice. I’ll try to come back to you guys and let you know of any big updates.

Jay
Guest

Well, she never spoke to me like I thought and now she’s going to the beach with some guy on spring break. I kind of felt like I have lost all hope even to be on speaking terms.

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

I’m sorry to hear that Jay, what’s your next move?

Jay
Guest
I honestly have no more energy felt to give for her I feel. I tried to be good and cordial towards her and her behavior to me has been completely immature and rude. I kind of feel like she’s not totally over me, seeing by the way she has been acting and this guy, if they end up dating, is probably a rebound. I just have to look for someone else to make me happy. I have literally done all I can. I still love her and care for her and want her back. But based off her behavior, I… Read more »
Jay
Guest
And not that a person is the only thing that makes me happy. But I’m sure I’ll find someone else better for me, or until she matures and changes, which is something I can’t wait for. I’m still going to focus on making myself happy. I’ve done pretty good so far with that and I’ll just continue it. I have a feeling that she will fall out of the relationship with this guy and realize what we had and will try to come back to me. But she has to prove to me that she really does love me before… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

That’s good that you know your worth and you choose to be happy with or without her