By Chris Seiter

Updated on June 6th, 2022

If you and your ex girlfriend have broken up you are probably wondering if you should stop chasing her.  After all, that is the natural reaction for most guys.  They don’t want to give up and so they pursue their ex girlfriend, making every effort to sway her opinion and convince her to come back.

The question is whether that is a good strategy.  Well, let me first give you the short answer as to whether you are better off if you stop chasing her.  Then I will give you the more complete analysis of what is usually the best way of handling this situation.

So the short answer to the question you pose is definitely yes.  Stop chasing her, period.  By doing so, you increase your chances.  While it may seem like the opposite of what you should do, the reality is that if you don’t give her some room to spread her wings and figure out some things on her end, you will hurt your chances.  So stop pestering her and giver her some space.  It will help you both in the long run.

You are better served if you stop chasing and calling and texting and all the other things that a pursuer might do and give way to allowing her plenty of space because it is in that vacuum you will more likely cause to happen an awakening in her heart such that she will want to come back to you.

Now let’s talk about this ex recovery approach in more detail!

6 Reasons Why Your Ex Girlfriend Will Likely Come Back If You Stop Chasing Her

1. She Will Find the Time and Space You Give Her a Welcoming Environment to Heal

Her coming back to you sometimes is a function of you getting out of her way.  Let her find a path to her recovery so she can heal.  This means you need to give her some space and any thoughts you might have of chasing after her, put aside.

Breakups are rough and she is likely grinding through a lot of tumbled up emotions.  If you intervene too soon, you are likely to make things worse for you and your chances of winning her back.

2. Your Ex Girlfriend Will Have More Time To Reflect on the Positive Elements of  Your Time Together

One of the advantages of steering clear of your ex girlfriend and simply giving her some peace is that it should give your ex more time to wring all of the negative thoughts out of her mind and begin reflecting more on the good times you had together.

No doubt, the two of you had some wonderful moments and it is those positive memories you want her to think about and if you prematurely interfere you might introduce negative energy.

3. By Bringing An End To Your Desperate Efforts You Eliminate the Risk of Self Sabotage

Too many times I have seen guys make the wrong move by turning to desperate measures in trying to connect with their ex.  That last thing you want to do is self sabotage your own ex recovery plan.  And while it depends on your individual situation, most ex back actions plans recommend you avoid communicating with her for 21 days at a minimum.

It will be hard.  You will have to fight off your natural impulses and your mind can work against you as it seeks to come up with reasons why you should break the no contact period.  But if you stick with the plan and avoid the desperate measures, you should improve your opportunities for later.

4. Her Heart Will Indeed Grow Fonder in Your Absence

While it may be an old adage, it is largely true.  When you and your ex girlfriend are apart for a reasonable period of time, whatever poison others have fed her about you and whatever resentments she is harboring, in time will be lifted and give way to warmer and happier recollections.

There is a deep psychological need for us to seek out that which has been taken away from us as the bad memories get largely erased and the positive remembrances come to the forefront.  But you need to give this psychological process time to work.

5. It Allows You To Bring Balance to the Personal Power Dynamic

Every couple has power in the relationship.  Ideally, it is split evenly between the two of you.  Whenever there is a breakup, unless it is mutually agreed upon, some of the personal power shifts to the dumper.  If your ex girlfriend dumped you and called a halt to the relationship, then in effect, her personal power grew.

Lopsided relationships where the partner holds too much personal power is not very healthy in the long run.  But so long as you don’t desperately chase her and show your emotional dependency as being fragile, then you stand a good chance of redeeming back some of that lost personal power.

Indeed, if you play your cards right, you can not only regain what was lost, but you can put yourself in the driver seat as the person who controls the reins of the relationship.

6.  You Give Yourself Time To Heal and Execute Your Game Plan

The final reasons why it wise to back off and avoid the futile chase is that you need to devote quality time to yourself.  It is important to heal oneself before implementing your game plan to get her back.

You will find it far too difficult to execute your plan with precision if you have not recovered from the emotional wounds you may have suffered by the act of the breakup.

Stop and take a good look at yourself.  Before you do anything, ask yourself if you are really ready to even start thinking about pursuing the relationship again.

The last thing you want is to go after your ex girlfriend, then later find out that you are in no shape to reconnect because you have not fully let go of some of the pain you experienced.	

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