My Ex Girlfriend Dumped Me For Another Guy…

“Can you believe it”,my client told me. “My ex-girlfriend took up with another guy. Incredible…I just got dumped for some other dude!”

It is always a shock when your ex girlfriend tells you she wants to break up with you. But when you find out that she left you for another guy, it can be shattering.

After all of the initial shock had worn off, my client was pretty pissed. He was having a difficult time processing what he was feeling.

But when you boil it down, what my client really wanted to know is whether he should just throw in the towel.

The way he figured, if his girlfriend had called it quits with him due to some other guy, then the hell with her.

At least, that was his attitude in the early days following the revelation that she was wooed away.

“But is it finally over”, he asked me? “Did some other man really sweep her off her feet”?

He really didn’t know because as soon as she mentioned that she was romantically involved with another guy, he just stopped listening.

In his mind that was it. The relationship was over. He wanted nothing to do with her. How could she do such a thing. It was unbelievable that she would cheat on him.

All these thoughts and more churned through his mind in the early days. But now, a couple of weeks have passed and my client is starting to think about her all the time, wondering if what they had before can be salvaged.

This kind of thinking and this sort of reaction to a failed relationship, particularly when it involves your girlfriend dumping you for another man, can just tear right through you.

ex relationship

It is like a tornado event, destroying everything in its path. And the harder you try to turn off these thoughts of your girlfriend dumping you for some guy, the angrier you feel.

But then eventually the anger subsides and you find yourself thinking of the good times with your ex-girlfriend. It is an awful, cyclical way of existing. One day you are really mad and upset with your ex girlfriend. You are wondering what the hell happened and why she would betray you. Then the next day, you are wondering if she will ever come to realize she made a huge mistake and what you might do to get her back.

Then you think, “crap, I am not even sure if I want her back”. Then the cycle starts over again and again.

The Ex Dumping Grounds

dumping

I call this type of emotional turmoil after being dumped by your ex girlfriend the “Dumping Grounds”.

I have had a lot of men come to me in this state of mind after being victimized by an Ex dumping.

Breaking up in such manner is probably the most painful way two people can separate.

Even your ex-girlfriend, if she has a heart, it going to be hurting inside. And that is what you want. Not because you are a vengeful person and want her to suffer. But rather, if your ex-girlfriend is broken up by what happened, it shows she still cares about you and just maybe, if things fall a certain way and you want her back, the two of you can make another go at it.

So when I deal with the Ex “dumping grounds” I get all kinds of questions.

Perhaps you came to my website with one of these questions on your mind. Perhaps you are are looking for some solutions. I am literally asked thousands of questions every day about how to recover one’s ex-girlfriend.

Let’s take a look at what is on people’s minds:

  • My girlfriend dumped me but I want her back.
  • My ex-girlfriend keeps texting me even though she dumped me for some guy.
  • I got dumped by my ex-girlfriend so should I use the No Contact Rule?
  • My ex-girlfriend dumped me and now she says she want to be “friends”.
  • She did the dumping, but now wants to have sex with me. Should I?
  • My ex girlfriend dumped me again. Is it really over?
  • She left me for another guy and now she says she wants me back. What now?
  • Should I text my ex-girlfriend even though she ran off with some other dude?
  • How long should I wait to contact my ex after getting dumped?
  • My ex girlfriend left me for someone else.
  • I am a mess after getting dropped by my ex-girlfriend. Help me.

So we are going to tackle some of these topics. To do this, I am going to break up this post into four main areas which include:

I. Why Do Girls (Women) Dump their Boyfriends for Another Guy?
II. What Could She Possibly See in This Other Guy But Not in You?
III. What Should I NOT Do After Getting Dumped?
IV. How Do I Work My Way Back Into Her Heart?

Are you ready to dive into this? I bet your are! See ya on the other side.

I. Why Did My Girlfriend Dump Me For Another Guy?

why jack

So why in the heck would your girlfriend just drop you and start up with another guy?

A million things probably flood through your mind as you play out what happened over the course of the relationship. You analyze each thing searching for answers. You try to drill it down to the one thing that would cause her to leave you. (Note to reader: Seldom is is just one thing.)

I know, getting dumped is no fun. The truth is that it happens to almost every guy. Now, not everyone will admit they have been dumped. But it is much more common and in fact, a natural process on the dating and relationship scene.

Now, you may be thinking, “How in the hell is this natural? It is cruel and devastating to get dumped. Nothing feels natural about it”.

Well, I can’t argue that. Yes, getting dumped is a form of breaking up and every break-up is painful, particularly if the couple have a great deal of themselves invested in the relationship.

But I stand by what I say. Let me try and explain.

When you break up with someone, invariable one of you initiated it.

Sure, it could be argued you both had a hand in the break up. But almost always, somebody initiates the dumping.

And hit hurts on both ends. Both the guy and the girl, no matter who did the dumping, will not come out the process completely whole.

And it will take some time for recovery to be realized.

So, let’s get to the part that is a natural.

a pic of a guy and girl just staring at each other, unsure

Relationships are kind of like a tryout process.

You go out into the world and you meet a girl. You date and let’s say you both enter into a “relationship”.

Well, in a way, each of you are trying out the other. No two individuals are ever perfectly compatible.

You can’t be sure it will work until you put yourself out there. And no matter what, there will be some bumps along the way because we are all so uniquely different as individuals.

In fact, I know of no one who is perfectly matched up with their soulmate.

Relationships take work and time. It takes a while to resolve the compatibility issues and other problems that the relationship may encounter.

Sometimes things don’t work out, so people part.

It happens a lot.

It is a naturally occurring way of how the sexes sort things out.

Now, here is what does not happen very often. Seldom does a couple that look into each other’s eyes and calmly and lovingly agree that things are not working out and choose to part ways on friendly terms.

That is rare.

It is a nice way to think about things, but in the real world, it seldom happens this way.

So, this is what I mean when I said that it is natural for relationship success to ebb and flow. And when things don’t work out to the satisfaction of one or both of the parties, somebody will dump the other.

Now the word “dump” sounds like a harsh word. It sounds like somebody just throws another person aside.

But whether you were “dumped” or “broke up” is really a matter of semantics and a circumstance of who initiated the act.

I guess it comes down to how one does it…..the words that are used to cushion the blow. But any form of a break up is a harsh experience.

Usually, one of you will be sensing things are not working out or possibly both of you may realize things are going to pot.

Whatever the case, break ups are a natural outcome of our attempt to bond with someone. Some bonds stick, others do not.

And when they don’t, somebody gets dumped and you feel like sh#t.

What is NOT ordinary, is getting dumped for another guy.

It happens, but in the normal course of how relationships are judged, getting dumped by your girlfriend because she is pursuing another guy is clearly a FOUL in my book.

It is like that biblical saying, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you”. I am quite certain that your girlfriend would be shattered if you had dumped her for another woman.

So why did she do it?

Why on earth, you wonder, did she hook up with HIM…whoever he is.

And by the way, be prepared for a lot of second guessing on your part. You are going to roll it around your head trying to make sense of why she left you and took up with this other dude.

If you are lucky, she might tell you the real truth. But my experience with these situations is that the truth will either been hidden from you or wrapped up in uncertainty.

Whatever the case, learning of her preference for another guy will usually come as a shock to you. Even if you thought of the possibility, the reality of it actually happening to you can be jarring.

II. Top Reasons for Why a Guy Gets Dumped

breakups

As with most things involving relationships, there are no simple reasons why your ex-girlfriend ended up in another man’s arms.

Let’s see if we can make some sense of how it all came to be. Here are some of the top causes of why you were dumped:

Some Other Guy Put the Moves on Her:

Yep, it happens. There are some sleaze balls out there who will prey on women, even if they know they are taken. They way they think about it is everything is fair game. If your girlfriend is good looking and friendly, then Mr. Sleaze Ball, Prince Charming will do what he does best…put the charm spin on her. Before she knows it, she is lured into his world of romance and mystery. And all women love romantic experiences and a little mystery can go a long way.

She Reunites With an old Flame:

Somewhere in her past, an old boyfriend may be looming. It is not uncommon for a couple to talk about their past dating lives. Curiosity sometimes will spill out all of the lurid details. Initially it can start off as a conversation bordered in trust. It is like, “you tell me about your past boyfriends and I will tell you about my former girlfriends”. We sometimes have an insatiable desire to understand everything about our lover, even their past romances. We seem to have this deep seeded need to compare and contrast our past dating lives. So when this “old flame” rears his ugly head, it could be someone you knew about. Way back in your mind, you might have even thought about the prospect of her hitching up with this guy again. But when you are in love, you tend not to dwell on such things. It’s like, out of sight, out of mind. And it is probably a healthy way of processing such information. You certainly don’t want to spend you time obsessing over your girlfriend’s past exploits. But in this scenario, where you are dumped for one of her old boyfriends, it can be really painful as all of those memories come rushing back. You can have thoughts like, “I should have known. I always suspected this could happen. Maybe I could have done something to avoid this from happening?” Look, it is not unusual to do a lot of second guessing when your ex girlfriend dumps you for her old flame, but the truth is no one can know if such a thing will happen. You can’t live your life worrying about every possible outcome or planning for every possible contingency. You would go insane. In fact, if you just got dumped for her old boyfriend, you probably already feel like you are going insane. Sometimes a guy is taken completely by surprise when his Ex hooks up with an an old flame. This dude may be a complete mystery to you. She may have never mentioned him. If this sort of thing is unfolding in your life, just know that women, just as men, have all kinds of motivations for not telling you certain things. So don’t eat yourself up with the “why question” as to her dishonesty. It does not change the fact that she is presumably resuming her prior relationship with this old boyfriend. Your focus should be on matters of what is more likely to happen and what you can do to get her back…if you want her back. We will get into these juicy details a bit later in this post.

She Has Been Two Timing You all Along:

I hate this when I come across it and thankfully it does not happen frequently. But on occasion, a woman will be in a “committed” relationship with you, but will also be stringing another guy along on the side. Maybe they broke up in the not too recent past and then you and her became an item. Except, she may still have unresolved feelings for this other guy. So you are left with the short end of the relationship stick, so to speak. Some girls struggle with making a decision or are afraid to let their other relationship partner go. So they get stuck in this limbo land where they care for you, but also care for this other man. I know, it can get confusing and not just for her. In some cases you get this awkward triangle where all three parties in the relationship are confused and uncertain as to what they really want or what it all means. Chances are, this other guy may have been dumped when she met you. Then, after some time of battling her “longing feelings”, she goes back to the other guy to confront those feelings and their relationship starts all over again. The breach of trust becomes a secondary issue in your ex-girlfriend’s mind as she gives in to the the two different forces pulling at her. One force is you, the other force is the other guy. My experience with such situations is that invariably, they work themselves out. Your advantage is that you are here at my website gaining some valuable insight that will hopefully give you a leg up on this other guy.

She Has a History of Skipping From One Guy to the Next:

Once in awhile you might come across a girl who has a history of entering into relationships and then breaking them off. It becomes an endless cycle of meet, date, breaking up, and then moving to another guy. If this is what is happening, then getting dumped is much more about your ex-girlfriend’s failings than your own.

She Has Sex With A Guy and Thinks He is the “One”:

Sometimes you get situations in which the girl you were dating meets another guy somewhere else. It could be at a party or a chance encounter of an old friend at the shopping mall. Then as fate would have it (actually it’s NOT fate!) your steady girlfriend falls into the arms of this other man. What set it all into motion could be any number of things. At this stage, try not to overanalyze what brought her infidelity to the forefront. Sexual human chemistry can bring two people together, but that does not necessarily mean they are meant for each other. Nor does it mean this other guy she found is the “One”. Clearly, if the dumping occurred because you ex-girlfriend fell into the arms of another man and they ended up having sex, the sting of this betrayal will hurt. You will want to take extensive time away from your ex in the form of a No Contact Period to deal with this. What you end up doing will be largely based on how you feel after you complete the recovery period.

What Does This Guy Have That You DON’T Have

steal yo girl

You will probably be wondering what she sees in this other guy.

It is normal to think about such things, though I wouldn’t dwell on it. It is also not unusual to compare the other guy with yourself. I cannot emphasize enough the importance of not thinking this way.

It is a slippery slope…. the old “comparison” game.

You might come up with many possible things this other guy might possess, that you don’t.

If you focus on this kind of comparison, you will drive yourself nuts.

It is not worth the mental energy.

And the truth is that you can never be sure exactly what is going on in your ex girlfriend’s mind. Beware of trying to read the mind of a women, you will always fall short of the true reality of what is really going on.

And believe you me, oftentimes your ex-girlfriend is pretty foggy upstairs about what is causing her to pursue her present relationship course of action. So don’t try to make these ridiculous and speculative comparisons between you and this other guy.

Let’s just call him the “slimeball” for now!

That should make you feel a tad bit better.

Don’t speculate about whether the “slimeball” has better physical attributes or is a better lover or has a better job or a better personality.

Don’t go down that road. Most of the time, you will probably be wrong whatever you are thinking.

Just know this.

He is a slimeball.

He took your ex-girlfriend away (at least for now) and if he was such a great guy, she would not have broken up with him in the first place (or he would not have dumped her). Now, in no way am I excusing her behavior. Your ex is certainly not blame free in any of this. She did choose to dump you and latch on to this meathead.

No one forced her.

So, going back to the main question of what this guy presumably has, that you don’t….. just remember, reflecting on such things is a “fool’s errand”. It is a road you do not want to travel.

The answers you may summon up are rarely accurate and only create more emotional pain. This kind of thinking just makes you feel weak and look weak.

In fact, if you choose later to patch things up with your ex-girlfriend, the last thing you want to project is a demeanor of weakness.

III. What Should You NOT Do After Getting Dumped?

dont do it again

I decided to compose a list to help you be aware of the things you should avoid doing or thinking about after being dumped. Are you ready for an attitude adjustment! Ok, let’s get on with it:

Do not, under any circumstance, contact your ex girlfriend in any way immediately following the “dumping”. Rarely, will anything you have to say make her change her mind. In fact, more often than not, it causes your ex-girlfriend to dug in her heels even more. It gives her confirmation of things she probably does not like about you. For example, no one likes to be confronted and told they are making a big mistake. Nor does anyone enjoy (unless it’s perverse joy) another person begging for forgiveness. Swallow hard and just accept that now is not the time to try and make things right. In fact, in most cases, I usually recommend the guy in this situation implement the No Contact Rule in which the period is usually 30 days.

Do not try to intentionally sabotage her relationship (or whatever it is she has with this other guy) with this other suitor. Such efforts are seldom effective and often just blow up in your face. Your ex-girlfriend will immediately see through any efforts you make to try and break up the relationship she now has with this other guy. In fact, she may be expecting it. Don’t give her what she may be expecting. Don’t give into your anger that most definitely will be seething underneath. Your ex-girlfriend will need to eventually discover for herself that the “dream” relationship with this new guy is really partly cloudy and stormy. Later, I will offer you some tactics you can employ that can indirectly help her with getting to that place in her mind. But in no way should you forcefully and visibly try to break up her “supposed” new found love. Time is often your ally in these situations. Just know that right now, your ex-girlfriend is living inside a bubble. If you play your cards right, that bubble will burst all by itself and when she looks your direction again and sees a former boyfriend that has all his sh#t together, you will have her back in the fold.

If you “think” you may want your ex-girlfriend back in the near future, then don’t play the jealousy card in the early days. Don’t go out on dates or do and say things that would lead her to think you have completely forgotten her. Those actions will just cause her to strengthen her resolve that “dumping you” was the right decision. Look at it this way….dumping an Ex is not an easy thing to do. Chances are is that she thought long and hard about whether it was the right thing to do. She still probably has doubts about whether she made the right decision to let you go and pursue this relationship with another man. You want to play upon that “doubt”. A little bit of doubt and uncertainty is like a pebble in a shoe. It can rub at a person, causing them to think about it increasingly more often.

If you eventually want your ex back, then just because she dumped you, does not excuse you to start dumping on her. You need to guard against angry outbursts. Let me repeat that. You need to guard against getting pissed off and saying mean and awful things to your ex girlfriend. I want you to think of every negative word you might say to your ex girlfriend who dumped you as a “withdrawal” to your “trust account” you have with your ex. For a relationship to work in the future, you need trust. But if you spend your time withdrawing that trust in the form negative and ugly comments or text messages, then you are making a huge mistake. You will be making your future efforts of trying to win her back, much more difficult.

Don’t give up. Relationships end in break-ups often and for many reasons. Getting dumped for another person that enters the picture is not unusual. If you and your ex girlfriend have dated for any reasonable period of time, then you have already formed a bond together. Bonds are not easy to totally sever. They can get stretched and they can get broken, but they often snap back together. There has always been a natural push and pull between guys and girls. It is just coded into the way things operate between the sexes.

IV. How Do You Work Your Way Back Into Her Heart?

lafandawh

First, you need to ask yourself, is that really what you want to do.

You need to explore things in an objective and holistic way.

What do I mean by that?

Well, when I speak of objectivity, what I am talking about is being honest with yourself. You need to embrace the facts. The problem with objectivity though is that it is sometimes shrouded in a cloud of uncertainty.

In the time period immediately following the break up, you will likely not see much of anything objectively.

If you have faults that contributed to the break up, they are unlikely to hit your radar screen in the early days. It can take weeks before you starting thinking more clearly and objectively.

You have heard of the fog of war, right?

Well, the same phenomenon happens right after a relationship ends in you being dumped.

All of your senses will feel heightened.

You will tend to overreact in every emotion.

Anger will be your default reaction in those early days, followed by denial.

Eventually, after you have traveled through some depressing times, you will arrive at some form of acceptance and objectivity.

All of this takes time.

Time usually works with you. It enables you to get your head screwed on right.

a pic of some guy standing where he can see everything

You also need to see things holistically before you make any key decisions as to what your really want to do.

Seeing your relationship with your ex-girlfriend in a more holistic manner will be beneficial to you in seeing the bigger picture. When there is a break up, there are also a lot of moving parts.

You are dealing with your emotions.

You are dealing with your conflicted feelings.

You are uncertain as to what it all means.

You probably do not have a full grasp of why your ex-girlfriend dumped you for this other dude.

As I mentioned earlier, time is a great ally in helping you sort out things. The bigger picture of what you really want and what your ex-girlfriend may actually desire, tends to come into better focus with time.

When you see things holistically, the picture of what to do with your life comes into better focus.

After some period of time of recovery and reflection, you may arrive at a place where you realize it is not worth pursuing her again. Perhaps there have been multiple break ups in the past. Maybe you arrive at the conclusion that the bond was not that strong in the first place due to the lack of compatibility. Maybe you have only been dating for a few months and you figure it is not worth the risk of more emotional pain.

My point is that you won’t have insight about such things until some time has passed.

Entering Into No Contact

a pic of a guy becoming the best version of himself

So what are you to do during this time and how long should you allow for recovery?

Let’s take the last part first.

I would recommend you take at least a 21 to 30 day period of recovery. This means that you should do everything you can to avoid thinking about your ex girlfriend.

Don’t try to re-live every moment seeking to make sense of it all.

You won’t.

What I want you to do is put the spotlight on trying to become the best version of yourself.

So you got dumped.

Hey, remember, it happens.

As we discussed, being dumped by an ex is part of the natural course of how guys and gals figure things out. If I was to venture an educated guess, I would say that about half of these situations turn out to be short lived….meaning that the two of you will be able to reconnect sometime in the future.

To optimize your chances, you need to adopt this recovery period I referred to earlier. During this time, avoid talking or communicating with your ex-girlfriend in any way.

This approach is commonly called the No Contact Rule.

Yes, there are some exceptions to this rule, but by and large, most of these exceptions are pretty obvious, though sometimes it can get a bit complex given certain circumstances.

In fact, I am in the process of writing a comprehensive ebook, “The No Contact Rulebook”, that will get into great detail about how to optimize the No Contact Rule and deal with when and how to make exceptions.

Oddly as it may sound, when you institute the No Contact Rule, you are actually doing something that will meaningfully enhance your chances of recovering your Ex.

Let’s talk first about the mechanics of how to do this successfully.

Most men and women, when they implement the No Contact Rule, end up failing. The reasons are obvious. Most people are weak in “heart”. And who can blame you.

Because we are so accustomed to being with the one we love, the forces that drive us to reconnect can be so powerful, it can cause the well intentioned individual to crumble and give in to their needs and impulses.

We succumb to the addiction of wanting to be with our girlfriend.

These addictive forces are fed by the chemistry of our brain, so understandably, it is difficult for many to tow the line and avoid communicating with their ex girlfriend.

Of course, giving in to these impulses is often a huge mistake. It only serves to set you back farther and/or make you look desperate.

Remember, she dumped you, so you will need to be extra vigilant about keeping your commitment to not break the No Contact Rule.

a pic of guy holding up his hand and swearing an oath

To help you keep your commitment, try doing something symbolic to forge your allegiance to staying true to yourself.

I like physical acts that create a lasting memory in our minds.

Try running a few more miles than you are accustomed to running or lift a few more pounds than you have ever done in the past. If you don’t like those ideas, then consider climbing mountain or bicycling 25 miles.

Whatever feat you choose to do, at the end of the accomplishment, take out a sheet of paper and make a declaration of keeping your commitment to not violate the “No Contact Rule”. Write it down and pin it up somewhere.

Your symbolic gesture can be anything, just make sure whatever you do, it resonates in your mind.

If you want to work your way back into her heart, you need to understand the difference between things within your control and those things you cannot influence.

I would argue that there are pretty decent odds that your ex-girlfriend will discover, in time, that the “grass is not greener” and this “new guy” is not at all what she expected.

To a large extent, you are banking on this.

It is hard to put odds on the likelihood of this happening in your individual case because to estimate such a thing I would need to know a great deal more about your relationship (e.g. how long the two of your were together, if there has been previous break ups, etc).

Just know that part of the recovery strategy is out of your control.

Learn to accept that.

a pic of a guy hypnotizing a girl

So what is in your control?

Well, as we discussed, instituting a no contact period so you have time to recover emotionally and work on being the best version of yourself is one thing you can do.

Creating an environment in which your ex-girlfriend wonders why you have not contacted her is also within your control.

Avoiding any efforts to go on any dates or “playing the field” is yet another signal you can send to your ex-girlfriend that indicates you are still potentially available.

Your ex girlfriend who dumped you will miss you.

That is natural reaction she will have.

You don’t spend a lot of quality time with a person without it having an emotional impact on you. So there are somethings you can do to maximize this “effect” (i.e. her missing you). Be sure that your social media postings reflect that “you”, personally, are “getting along” quite well.

Now, you don’t want to over do it and make it out like you have turned into a party animal. But you want her to look at images of you or read postings you have authored, that reflect the best things about you. That you are fun, good looking, interesting, and positive. You want to leave the impression that you hold no grudge.

I would also suggest, in the beginning stages of the No Contact period, avoid playing the jealousy card.

But toward the last few weeks of the recovery period, I would advocate you utilize some common friends to informally convey information to her that you “might be seeing someone else”.

I like to keep things shrouded in mystery.

Less is more.

You want your ex-girlfriend who dumped you to think much more about you. To accomplish this, you have to “play” on mystery.

Women like to think and fantasize about things. So don’t give her too much to chew on when you are playing your jealousy card. Let her fill in the blanks.

I also recommend you purchase my e-books, “Exboyfriend Recovery Pro” and “The Texting Bible” because these comprehensive publications will walk you through the entire process of attempting to recovery your ex-girlfriend.

There is only so much I can cover here, though I have given you some really useful prime nuggets of information. But if you are truly committed to giving yourself the best chance of reuniting with your Ex, then you need to get a lot smarter on the strategies and tactics.

And one area that you will really want to gain greater insight about is how to utilize text messages to re-ignite her interest.

That is why I recently published, “The Texting Bible”. So many of my readers, who were on the wrong side of “being dumped”, were looking for details and examples of what they should say in all different types of situations. That resources is now available to you.

I will leave you with a quote.

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, and today is a gift; that’s why they call it the present.

Eleanor Roosevelt

		

Written by EGR team mate

Chris Seiter

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214 Comments on "My Ex Girlfriend Dumped Me For Another Guy…"

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So I met this girl in school and we liked each other and so we started dating each other. Our relationship lasted for 3 years and then because of my foolishness (I chated with a Unknown girl) which my girl found as an act of cheating, got really shattered. She then moved to college,we were still together but things were not going well and with the mixed feelings (emotional torture) she started dating other guy without telling me. It was kind of cheating she did to me. She dumped me for that guy. Obviously distances increased and that guy got… Read more »
Akram
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hi I am married and I like my friends wife . We get together on and of on couple dinners . I like her a lot and this she knows very well . its been 4 years that we were in contact and one day she send me a random message and we started chatting each other an then we come on talk and video chats . we used to discuss all our family matters and she told she also like me since long . during our friendship many times we both anger to each other . in start she… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
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EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Akram,

are you both still currently married? If yes, are you going to divorce your spouses? Because if not, if you’re still married, then you’re going nowhere.

Amber
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Hi, I’m a female. But i read tjis and felt as if i could relate. Me and my ex we’re together for 9 years on and off. He took my virginity and we have a child together. He was a drinker and had anger problems. So i fought with him to qjit drinking and he wouldn’t for years! So i made the first move, that i know of and STUPIDLY thought sleeping with someone else while we were broke up would show me “Putting my foot down” but instead, like you said, it blew up in my face. And he… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
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EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Amber,

Move on and start a life that doesn’t revolve on a guy.. Make your own decisions for yourself and for your child.. If your child was in the same position would you want her to chase a guy?

Gingerman
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My partner of five years has left me for another man who she met about 7 weeks ago. I guessed something was up when she started texting him constantly and would meet him a few times a week. At first she told me it was a purely sexual attraction then it grew into something more. The night before we broke up we went to couples therapy and both enjoyed it and found it helpful but that night she sexted him. This was the point when she left me. I called her some awful names and tried to make things better… Read more »
Limit
Guest
My gf of five years replaced me with another guy. Some back history: I’m 26 now and she is 23, we’ve been interested in one another for seven years and officially dating for five. When she graduated high school she came to my area to attend school because I was here, even before we began dating, though she did not admit this until later. We had many webcam dates before this, but as soon as she was in the area we were on dates 1-3 times a week until we became official. Afterwards, we spent a tremendous amount of time… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Limit,

You can try limited contact. Check this one:
Using The No Contact Rule (Everything You Need To Know)

Davor
Guest
Hi, I’d like to say that this site is full of very good resources, just as much the book is, I’m now 8 days in NC and as much as it is a torture it does me good. I’d like to tell you a bit about my situation and hope you can find time to give me some advice. My ex and me have been together for almost 9 years now, our relationship was a bit of a push and pull thing and due to lack of emotional support from my side things escalated just about 2 months ago, truth… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Davor,

Take this as a restart.. Show that you care when you’re building rapport

Anon Anon
Guest
My gf, of 3,5 years, impulsively broke up with me after we had a somewhat bigger, verbal fight. We both went no contact for 6 days but then I’ve contacted her and apologized, and we got back together. During our reconciliation she told me that she was with another guy couple of days after our first break up (told me that there was no sex) and I’ve told her that it’s ok because we were both angry at each other. I’ve asked her if she needed some more time before we get back together and she said “no”. A week… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Anon,

You have to be active in improving yourself and in posting.. If you didn’t do that, restart the count..and dont stalk her social media accounts..

Anon Anon
Guest

Thanks for the reply!
I’ve started improving myself, but thing is, if I start posting on the social media she will know I’m doing it for her to see, because I used Fb mainly for chat, I don’t even have an Instagram account.
So what do you think should I post all these photos of myself happy even though she would see right through it?

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

You’re changing..that’s the point..You’re not supposed to be the guy she used to know..just make them casual posts of your activities..if you’re eating out with friends, post a groufie with them, the food, the place, etc..

mavis
Guest

wonderful

goerge
Guest
i have been with my gf for about 4 months….we started dating while she was with anothe guy she eventually broke up with him but she kept contact with him saying she didn’t want to hurt any further to wich i agreed as i felt sorry myself for what i did to him even though i did not know him…..the problem is that about a month ago she went to work on an island for the summer season….the day she left she said she didn’t want any contact with me or her ex bf….during that month i kept sending her… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi George,

Looks like she falls easily.
Do you want to try the advice above?

Chris
Guest
My ex-girlfriend broke up with me in December. A week later she lost her job. I had to take a job interstate to be able to support her financially. I’ve only seen her once since I’ve been here because she says she’s been too depressed and doesn’t want me to see her like that. All of a sudden about two weeks ago she cut me off completely and told me to never contact her again. Turns out she met a guy and he’s moved in with her. I sent her a few messages as I was heart broken and she… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

HI CHris,

you deserve a better person. Move on from her.

Anon
Guest
So my ex-girlfriend of 4 years broke up with me almost a month ago. I know the reason is because I didn’t get my shit together and move in with her like we both wanted. Anyways, since the break up I’ve kind of gone emotionally nuts and spam texted her, called her, etc. Using multiple texting apps and whatnot. Anyways, I finally got her to tell me what’s wrong and she said “You are the darkness in my life and I have finally found the light”. I have tried to express to her how much I still love her and… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

are you going to do the advice above?

Joecat
Guest
Ah, sorry state of affairs to be dumped for someone else. I was in a relationship with a girl from work. It only lasted around three months… There were some issues.. Situational issues… But really we got on great and had great natural chem. The first date was amazing and things progressed very fast.. Thats rare! So i felt the loss and it took a long time to get over.. Its been nine months of no contact… Well virtually no contact. I know i got replaced for sure! She even hinted at it whilst we were dating…. Then broke it… Read more »
Lars
Guest
Hi Amor! My ex, how is seeing her old boyfriend, send me a text about three weeks ago where she told me that my brother has told her not to communicate with me, I had been out drinking so I answered (I now I shouldn’t have done that) that the relationship is about the two of us no one else. She replied that there have always been more people involved in our relationship and its all down to me. I replied that I didn’t know what she meant by it was all down to me, (have asked and talked a… Read more »
John
Guest
I may have found this site too late, but I wanted to see if I could get some advice specific to my situation. I was with a girl for almost 9 months. We both really enjoyed our time together and never had any fight or major argument even. Things seemed great to me. 2 months ago she suddenly texted me that she had been having doubts and that she wanted a break. She said she was feeling that she didn’t give herself enough time after her previous relationship and that she got invested in me too quickly and started having… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

if she started to talking to him and got closer to him during being with you, then its not a rebound.. and yes, you can try the advice above.

John
Guest
Thanks for the response. I bought EGR Pro and have been in NC for 18 days. In EGR Pro, the recommended NC period for my kind of situation is 21 days. On this article, its says 21-30. Should I be leaning towards either one? I also unblocked her on everything pretty early on because I’m not going to be bitter and I want her to see that I’ve been making lots of improvements in case she got curious. I’ve used the time to improve myself and have made plenty of posts on social media reflecting that I’ve been well. She… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

It’s ok of you want to go for 30 days and if you initiate contact after nc

Pius
Guest
Hello, I’ve being dating a girl for 3 years. I’m 23yrs she is 20yrs but she broke up with me 2 months ago(March, 2017). Her reason was that she did not have feelings for me anymore. I begged her, give her every reason to stay. She agreed twice while I begged her and now she has made a resolved of breaking up with me. I later found out she is dating another guy but on a long distant relationship. I applied the no contact rule for a Month. And within this period she liked my Facebook post and few weeks… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

restart the count..no contact means no replying and no social media commenting too.. you have to focus in improving yourself and being active in posting and then you can initiate contact after to slowly build rapport while you continue to improve yourself

Pius
Guest
Thanks, but I have already initiated a conversation with via WhatsApp. She responded fine. She even said she missed me a lot and can’t deny the fact. I visited her twice and during that time we both ate together and talked and had fun. In fact we kissed, I initiated it after that she ask me why did I kissed her? I said I don’t know. Then she kissed me back. But now she have being acting hard to get, making me calling her twice or more before she can pick my calls, and sometimes not returning my calls. I… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

why wouldnt she understand? is it because she thinks you didnt change, or she’s making you chase?

Pius
Guest

Don’t know, may be she’s testing me. Not sure. But she use the other guy pic as her profile pic on WhatsApp two days after I paid her a visit. I’m trying to initiate another No contact rule. Will that be okay?

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

yeah, that’s better than chasing her..

Josh
Guest
Hi Amor I am 48 and my ex is 44 we have been dating for 3 years and never had a fight and never split up before. My ex broke up with me out of nowhere, complaining we don’t see each other enough (2-3 days a week) for the following reasons, due to work, her 3 children and living an hour a part. I was totally floored and taken back. Over the next 3 weeks I did everything wrong you would say, I first offered to move closer and get engaged, I begged, I cried, I pleaded to work on… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

it’s not a guarantee to work, but your best step is to do everything properly now.. do at least 45 days, focus in improving yourself and be active in posting in social media.

JOSH
Guest

Do you think going 45 days without asking how are the kids doing can back fire and look like I never cared ? and on the other hand asking or emailing is going to look like I am using excuses to get in contact with her.

Also she constantly says she loves me but cant do this anymore. How long would it take for this love to fade away.

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

yes.. it’s ok to talk about the kids during nc as long as it’s only about that

Josh
Guest
Hi Amor So I did the N/C for thirty days and I sent her an E-mail just saying “Hi how are things going ?” ” How are your kids doing ?” I got an immediate text and phone call back. We spoke briefly about the kids, I kept the conversation lite and very positive. I hinted about some improvements I made personally and financially and made it very subtle. We ended the conversation with a keep in touch nice to hear from you. This followed up with a text by her 1 hour later “hey lets get lunch today ”… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
Brad
Guest

My girlfriend broke up with me for another guy. She has done this before, yet realized she made a mistake then came running back. However this time she says she has no feelings what so ever and she really seems to want him. Is there anything I can do? She still keeps my on Snapchat and keeps our 400 day streak, she still gives me little hints of hope, we’ve been together on and off for over a year .

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Brad,

do you want to try the advice above?

Rob
Guest
HI. I’m looking for answers. I don’t know if I have a chance at getting my ex girlfriend back, or how to. We’ve been together for about 2 years. When we met we both had a very strong connection that never died. She has two boys who I completely fell in love with, and they with me. Our relationship was up and down and she broke up with me about 4 months into our relationship, then has needed space a couple of times since. Our main issue was that I didn’t trust her. She is a very private person and,… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Rob,

Honestly, I think you both just need to talk about everything calmly.. say what you really want and what you really feel and what the next steps for a better relationship should be

Aiden
Guest
Hi there So my girlfriend (10 months) broke up around 3 weeks ago saying she didn’t feel it anymore. She coudln’t exactly tell me why she didn’t feel it anymore because a week before the break-up she was still very happy with me, I sensed that. I’m pretty sure that she broke up with me because I was a little too clingy and especially jealous on one of her closest guy friends (a lot of things happened between him and my girlfriend which made me jealous ex. This guy tried to kiss her but yet she remained friends with him… Read more »
Aiden
Guest

update: she still tries to talk to me and I dont know wether I should respond or ignore

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Aiden,

the good thing about everything is that you didn’t beg again..The bad is that you rushed. It was ok when you sent the rose, after that you should have finished 30 days and then slowly rebuild rapport or when you restarted the nc, you slowly rebuilt rapport instead if saying directly that you have feelings…

Try that now, stick to atleast 30, continue improving yourself even after nc and slowly build rapport through texts first, then calls and then meet ups….

Ivan Dizon
Guest
Hey Chris, I’m one of the many guys that stumbled upon this website to see if I can still get back with my ex. She’s broke up with me last week and she said I was lacking effort and attention towards her and that she didn’t feel the same anymore. I told that I was sorry and regretful and that asked if there was anything we could do to fix this. She told me she couldn’t continue the relationship any further and I ended up getting dumped. she contacted me few hours after the break up asking if I was… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Ivan,

did she know the guy before she broke up with you? Do you want to try the advice above?

Ivan Dizon
Guest

Thank you for replying to my message and yeah she knew the guy before she broke up with me. They met in their university.

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

You’re welcome… Are you going to do the advice above?

Matt
Guest
Hi, So this is a bit complicated, but I’m looking for advice. I met this girl while I was still dating my ex. We would go on dates and went camping one weeks. I broke up with my ex, but was a bit distant with this girl because there was ex drama and I didn’t want to involve her. While this was going on, she was also talking to another guy from her gym that she met online and had see around the gym before. Because I was distant, she agreed to go on dates with him. After the dates… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Matt,

If you’re going to do the no contact rule, do at least 30 days. So, that means if you’re going to the concert, go first. See what happens from there and decide if you still want to push through with the no contact period.

Marcus
Guest
Hey i just wanna ask something. So my ex and i broke up 1 month ago because i treated her badly and she previously gave me alot of chances already.Whenever i was irritated by her,i would be quite sadistic at her. She forgived me and said sorry even thought i was at fault but she couldnt take it any longer and she broke up w me. After one week,she got really close with one guy and now,she got into a relationship. Even though she got into a relationship w him,she was still posting stuffs that r kind of directed to… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Marcus,

if she didn’t talk to him before the break up, yes it can be rebound.

Safo
Guest
Me and my ex girlfriend went with our friends in a trip and during that trip I felt that their is something between her and my friend so I asked her who is closer and she shocked me when she told me that he is closer because I always make her stressed . So I told her go and search for him you are suitable for each others and then she started crying after hearing that .. since that they are always together and she don’t answer any of my calls . She told me that I just insulted her… Read more »
Safo
Guest

We know each others since we were five and we had been dating 10 month

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Safo,

did you improve yourself in the past month?

Safo
Guest

Actually I think I have totally changed and I am better now .

Safo
Guest

But I think that my ex will continue ignoring my texts. I don’t know how to talk to her and make her open her heart again to be able to see the change in my character..

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

she’s known you for a long time.. how much was the change? If it’s just feeling different but not really looking different and living different, then she won’t see that. You have to do that first. That’s why it’s very important to be really active in improving yourself during and after nc and be active in posting in social media because that’s your indirect way of saying you’re moving on, changing and that you have your own life. If you need to restart the no contact period, do so.

Matt
Guest
My 27 y/o ex dumped me for a 39 y/o surgeon she works with. The guy is in the middle of a divorce, has two kids, and is shorter than her. This is the girl who once told me I’d have to go to church with her family on Sunday once I visited them. Now she’s gone for 3-4 nights at a time, I believe probably getting banged by the guy. I think it’s a rebound. We broke up 12/28, she went on a date with him that week, and then they slept together the next. We’re neighbors, so I’m… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Matt,

if she broke up with you for him, he’s not a rebound. It’s a grass is greener. Yes, I think you should restart the no contact rule.. Do at least 30 days and improve yourself.

James
Guest
So I dated this girl for about 7 months. Things were great, we got along perfectly, just went on vacation together. It was only 7 months but we talked about moving in together in June when her lease was up so it was pretty serious. We randomly broke up, completely out of the blue. It was an emotional conversation but no fighting, name calling or anything like that. She said she still wanted to remain friends and didn’t want me out of her life completely while she figured things out. I did the 30 day no contact rule. In that… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi James,

take the class as an opportunity to build rapport personally

I'm lost
Guest
So my girlfriend broke up with me it’s been almost 2 months well I asked her if she was with another man an she said she hasn’t moved on. Well I went to the gym an seen her with her new boyfriend an she was shocked to see me an we’ll she looked happy with him an she said hi when I said hi. But didn’t acknowledge me cause he was around so I’m thinking it’s a rebound an I don’t know what to do so I texted her an she won’t answer back now that she knows I know… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Lost
have you done the no contact rule?

sasi
Guest

my and my girlfriend broke up very badly now she is with another man. after a while we again had fight on this other man topic is there any chance that i can still get her back

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Sasi
you mean you got back together? when did you last talk?

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

I accidentally erased your latest comment.. It went in spam.. All I read is you talked yesterday? then, do you want to do the no contact rule?

Markfiance
Guest
I have been in a relationship with my girlfriend for more than 5 years. We had a son who is 3 y/o. she dumped me more than 2 months ago and discovered that she was dating another man from work prior to her breaking up with me. This man is also separated from his wife. My girlfriend keeps their relationship from her friends and family and even to me but I know what is going on between them. The new guy showers my girlfriend with gifts and even doing extra effort to make her happy. I never did any major… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Mark,

It looks like she’s in a grass is greener case.. do you want to try the advice above? if you’re going to do the no contact rule, you can still talk to her about your child

ADRIAN
Guest
Hi! I would like to thank you very much for all the advice and guidance that you provide on this website. After reading the majority of the information that I could find, I thought I should probably get an opinion about my particular case. I would very much appreciate any help. I will try and summarise the main facts. I was with a girl for almost 6 years. We met in high school and we went to university abroad together. She did not like me as much as I liked her from the beginning, but then we fell in love… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Adrian,

stop chasing her.. if you cant move on, at least start the no contact rule and focus in improving yourself while making new friends in your job and home.. love your job for your growth, not for her..

Daren Vickery
Guest
Hi I have messaged before have been split up now for 6 months it all started when her dad died she wanted time and space so I moved out of the house and lived with a friend. In this time we have text have been out . Then I said I would move back in the house in November which she was shocked about. I said that I could not live at my friends forever. So she moved out with her daughter to a rented place 10 minutes away as her daughter goes to school near by . This is… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Daren,

At this point, she has already moved on and I think it was a misunderstanding because to you she’s just grieving but to her, she’s already moving on. Right now, stop chasing. 15 days is too short for an nc, especially now that she has a bf.. The higher chance for you is if she thinks you’re moving on and improving instead of chasing her.

James
Guest
My girlfriend broke up with me 3 weeks ago. We had an amazing relationship up until she started going to college in September, then she started relying and leaning on me less, which was a major change for me, and I had trouble adjusting. Instead of being open and supportive, I closed down, because I felt insecure and less important. Before we broke up, we had a long talk, and we agreed we are bored, but we were going to make more dates, and fix things. Three days later she broke up with me. Her explanation was that she was… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi James,

Improve and heal.. Are you going to follow the advice above?

Adam
Guest
My girlfriend and I met in April 2016, we started going out a month later. Everything seemed so right we would facetime everyday in the summer and I was the happiest person. Then when college started back up I was so happy to be back with her, then this kid on the baseball team started to become friends with her and they began to hang out and text a little too much. Keep in mind she would still say I love you to me and all that stuff a lot and come over and sleep over all the time. I… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Adam,

do you want to try the no contact rule?

Abhimanyu
Guest
Hey!!! So my ex gf broke up with me almost a month ago just a day before my birthday. We dated for two months. It was a great relationship. She time to time used to mention how queen like she feels while dating me. So it was all dream like. She had a very bad relationship with her ex before me. It involved him triple cheating on her. That was three years ago and she was single after that. Next guy was me. So good relationship. And suddenly she changed. Left me. So initially after the break up she was… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Abhimanyu,

no offense but if she’s not attracted to you and she is really attracted to the other guy, then you cant rush. You have to improve yourself, let’s sayou did during thkse 21 days, but are you still improving now? Because obviously it wasmt enough. She has to see you in a different, better light and the onky way to for a higher chance of that to happen is to really improve yourself and widen your world too. Do new things and make new friends..

Aidan_mufc
Guest
Hi so I was with my girlfriend for 11 years and we have a beautiful little girl who is 8 and we’ve lived together for 10 years all our adult lives as we met as teenagers, so we get back of a family holiday 6 1/2 weeks ago and 4 days later she breaks up with me and moves to her dads house after a silly argument and says she doesn’t love me anymore then a week later I find out she is seing another guy although she denied it and is saying she just wants to be on her… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Aidan,

It won’t be easy to forget you, since you had a long time together and you have a child.. So, the only thing you need to keep in mind is to not stop improving and to take it slow with her.

Adonis Nyagbona
Guest
My girlfriend left me for a guy at her job we started arguing around Nov 2015 after I separated from the military we broke up later that November but we also have a 4 year old child together so we continued to stay in the same apartment. I noticed her demeanor change greatly around this time frame and it seemed like she really would argue with me about the smallest things. We finally separated in March of 2016 and she’s in a relationship with the guy from her job but she told me she doesn’t love him but I need… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi adonis,

dont just wait.. improve yourself..try doing the no contact rule.. if the child is with her, you can still vidit just dont have feelings or relationship talk

Jimi
Guest
Hi! My girlfriend broke up with me about 4 months ago after she spent a couple of months abroad. We where together for one and a half year. When she came back she told me that she had fallen in love with another guy and fell out of love with me. I was depressed while she was there and this was also one of the reasons. So i went into no contact and improved myself greatly. First she told me there was no chance of us ever getting back together. After no contact we started hanging out and after a… Read more »
Sawan
Guest

Me and my girlfriend dated for about 8 months. We were long distancing during summer. During this time, she met another guy and fell in love with him. I kind of felt insecure about them for quiet some time and also told her before we took a break. At the end of the summer she told she wanted a break and then she broke up with me. She basically dumped me for another guy. Is it over for us? Will I get another chance?

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

hi Sawan,

I’m not sure in what part of the world you are, so when did you break up?

Sawan
Guest

I am from Dubai and an Indian by origin.

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

HI Sawan,

Try to do no contact first.. improve yourself and have your own life before reconnecting with her.

Chris
Guest
So I’ve been seeing this girl for a few months now. She was pretty damaged from her ex boyfriend so I’ve been taking it really slow. The other day I asked her if she wanted to be exclusive. She said no because to her being exclusive feels too much like a relationship to her, yesterday she sent me this text. Chris. I really like you, I enjoy spending time with you doing whatever it is we are doing. I truly think you are a great guy. But I don’t see us a couple. I want to be friends and think… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

hi Chris,

hmm…she friendzoned you.. and to be honest, it means she’s not really that attracted to you.. start nc and date others too while you’re improvin yourself

Chris
Guest
So I think you’re right about being friendzoned. We were still spending a lot of time together until yesterday when I finally told her how I felt about her. She asked me to leave and said we couldn’t hang out anymore. It so weird because she said emotionally she has feelings for me. She has aspergers so I’m just not sure if she just doesn’t know how to process what she feels. I understand the whole no contact thing. I’ve done it before. It works to an extent. How could she have emotional feelings for me but not see me… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Chris,

sorry for the super late reply.. how are you now?

Chris
Guest

Honestly I think in fine. It’s been about a week no contact. I haven’t actually heard from her anyway. Although I’m OK, I still do want to talk to her and see her again. I’ve also been dating someone else. It helps fill in time And is a distraction. I was thinking about making contact at the end of next week.

Aaron
Guest
Hi, i have been dating a woman for 3 and a half years. over the time i accepted becoming the father of her two sons. when i had met them the youngest was 3 months and the eldest a year and 3 months. the father is actually out of the picture due to him being not the best person in the world. over the years we were together my ex would not really like me having any friends that were girls and didnt really like me going out at all. i would offer to have her come with me but… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Aaron,

I’m sorry to hear that.. I think you should one last message, in any way you can that you understand her and you’re giving her space but that you would want to continue being the father your sons as soon as she is ready and ok with that and that to reach anytime about it.. it would just be about the boys and you would respect her space… and then start limited nc

Aaron
Guest

That’s what I’m doing at the moment. I did contact her about some issues earlier today but besides that I told her that I will always be there for the boys because blood or not they are my sons and I’m always gonna be their dad. and to let me know when she’s ready to let me see the boys and be there for them.

Aaron
Guest

By limited contact that means as long as it’s about my sons?

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

yes.. but don’t push it..give her space for now

Aaron
Guest

Ok. Got it..

Aaron
Guest
Hi! It’s been a while. But so far this past week my ex got in contact with me and told me that I could see the kids. So i ended up starting to see them all again. The weird thing is the first day was great me and my ex had a good talk it was nice. Light and she laughed and looked happy. She invited me to disneyland next year to spend time with the kids and her. And we planned other family trips. The second day was even better but we did agree to keep it about the… Read more »
Aaron
Guest
Hi it’s been a while and since then my ex contacted me about seeing the kids. I didnt see or talk to them for over a month but overall my ex let me see the kids ultimately be apart of the kids lives. She seemed really happy to talk to me at first during the first day i dropped the kids off. Talked for an hour or so before leaving. She even talked about me being around for the kids birthdays this month and invited me to go to disneyland next year with her and the kids. Second day I… Read more »
Vish
Guest
Hello. I want you all to know that my Ex gf left me for another guy. Our relationship lasted for 2 and a half years almost. I can’t move on in my life. I really need her back in my Life. The Story is as follows: It was almost 35 days we didn’t meet. Every Saturday some or the other problem arises due to which we didn’t meet up. One week prior we met up I noticed that she used to be busy always on WhatsApp and used to reply me late. I asked her that with whom is she… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

HI VIsh,

do you want to try what Chris advised above?

Vish
Guest
It’s been 36 days, NC Rule also ended up. And I tried to contact some mutual friends of ours. They all said that ‘We all tried our best to convince her. But she never listens to anyone.’ Some of they said ‘Let her go, if she’s happy what can we do ?’. One said ‘Let her go. Even If she’ll come back. In future you’ll always doubt her, which will create problems.’ One of my best friend said me ‘I daily see her bro, She’s very happy with him. They both are together in office the whole day. They go… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

it means she knows how bad you want her back because all your friends tried to convince her.. is this after or during nc? because that can be a factor of killing the attraction.. and the activities you started nc, you should continue it..there’s no guarantee that you’ll get her back but the only thing that can help increase the chances is if she thinks you’ve moved on and improved.. that feeling of wanting something you don’t have, especially if you’re attractive

Vish
Guest
Yes, our friends tried to convince her when I was in NC rule with her. I seriously need to know what’s exactly going in her mind. what is she exactly thinking. Does she miss me ?? It’s been 42 days now. No contact with her, I sometimes feel like she forgot me totally. I seriously miss her alot. I check her ‘Last Seen’ on whatsapp with my secondary phone. She and that boy comes online together. and goes offline together. They both stay online till 4AM daily. When she was with me, she used to sleep at 3 or at… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

we can’t say for sure what she thinks and if she realizes her mistake but if she sees other guy better than you, it’s less likely that she will..you have to restart no contact too because she still probably thinks you didn’t change because your friends kept convincing her

Vish
Guest
Alright Amor, I’ll start that from today. In last 2 days, I had a chat with her Sister cuz her Sister was sick. We have a group on WhatsApp, in which, there are 5 of us, including her. I texted Good Morning in that group 2 days back, She replied Good Morning as well. I was seriously so damn happy at that time. But She has still blocked me. I can’t personal message her and Yes, I will not cuz I am NC rule now. I seriously miss her alot and I need her back in my life. Believe me… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

you’re welcome Vish.. oh..we can’t give our personal account..but you can email us at [email protected]

Tyler
Guest
Bleh. So my ex and i were only together for 8 months. We also lived together for 7 of them. She got out of a lengthy relationship partially because of my existence even though nothing was going on. Her boyfriend left and we shortly ended up together. The going was very well until we got into a fight 5 months in and we ended up broken up for a weekend. In that time i slept with a different ex and didnt reveal that until 3 months later when my ex and I actually broke up and she moved out. Not… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Tyler,

you should do 30 and keep the activities you started during it.. continue it after nc

Tyler
Guest
So. I think I’ve failed. Finished the 30 days NC, initiated contact, became friends, started texting and conversing regularly, most of which during the most recent was initiated by her. She had no idea that I had feelings or intentions of getting back with her. Never got to a point where I could get her on a phone or ask to meet and catch up either. About a week ago she went silent. A few days in I asked her if something was up, to which she responded by saying shes sorry, shes not ignoring me but shes not answering… Read more »
Ricardo Martinez
Guest
So me and my girlfriend of 3 years just broke up about a month ago. She told me she wasn’t happy and that she needed to find happiness on her own before she could ever be with someone. But that was a lie because 9 days later she goes out with this guy she has been talking to for a while that I trusted her to talk to in the relationship. I did my begging and pleading but I’m now in the no contact phase and it is towards the end. I don’t know if I should make it longer… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Ricardo,

try a 30 day nc..and don’t check her posts during nc but be active in postig in your account

Ricardo Martinez
Guest

So I finished my NC phase and I finally texted her, things were going well and we were catching up. But then all of a sudden she started getting angry about the fact that I was talking to her because she knows she shouldn’t be because of her new boyfriend. I told her I just wanted to talk and she started bringing up the past problems. Then she didn’t reply. A week later I texted her and she told her boyfriend that I was texting her and he threatened me. What do I do now?

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

you need to do nc.. what was the topics of the texts?

Ricardo Martinez
Guest

She was just talking about her plans for college, and so was I. She kept bringing up the fact that she was happy, and that things have changed for the better. She then started getting mad about how I messed things up as a boyfriend and how she can’t trust me anymore. How long should I go back into nc?

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

either 21-30 days.

Henry
Guest
My girlfriend of 7 months dumped me when we had a big argument. She is 22 and I am 29. We recently became long distance as well (opposite ends of the USA). Nevertheless, the gap of maturity and being an adult is all there as well. Just a day after getting dumped, I took it all and decided to just make peace between us in hopes of getting back together in some form. We were able to at least communicate the end of the relationship without bad blood between us. She said she no longer wanted a commitment for some… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Henry,

it’s better to stay in no contact because anything said in anger will end up in regret..there’s a big chance thay it is rebound.. do you think the distance is really her reason?

Henry
Guest
Hello! This website is chockfull of useful knowledge and tactics. So glad to have discovered it. Back in January, I finally mustered the courage to ask out a girl at my gym. I had known her for a year at that point, but never thought she would be interested in me. Well, I surprised her with flowers one night and asked her on a date. She was extremely flattered and agreed to the idea of getting to know each other better. She was a little concerned about our age gap (she’s 29, I’m 25) but was eventually able to look… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Henry,

sorry for the late reply.. I’m glad you decided to improve yourself instead of begging her to stay.. you’re on the right track. Just keep doing that and go out with friends so she would miss the times you went out with her

Henry
Guest

Haha my pride will never let me beg for anything!

Henry
Guest

Checking in with an update. My NC period ends on the 23rd, though I’m thinking of extending it to the 28th. It’s extremely difficult, especially when every nerve in your brain is screaming “CALL HER!”. But I’ve made a list of 6 main goals to work towards and achieve so my body and mind are occupied. Plus taking at least 2-3 hour per weekend for some “me time”.

Henry
Guest
Well, the time has come! My no contact period is up and it’s time to begin reaching out. I opted for a 30-day rule as opposed to a 21-day rule. She’s the kind of girl that takes things pretty slow and I was hurting emotionally so a month seemed like the appropriate length of time. She hasn’t gotten ahold of me at all during NC but I’m not letting that intimidate me. A non-threatening text has been sent to her about her favourite TV show that she always bugged me to watch (I finally watched it). Also, the last month… Read more »
Henry
Guest

Things have been good, rapport has been built over two weeks. She has positively responded to every message I send her and is generally happy to hear from me. She even came up to me and gave me big hug at the gym, in front of the guy she left me for. So far, so good.

However, I have a question. All contact between us has been initiated by me so far, not her (despite her happiness when talking to me). Should I cease contact until she initiates something with me? It has been too one-sided for my taste.

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

you can reat intiating for a while.. a week at most..let’s see if she tries to initiate at that weej

Henry
Guest

She ended up initiating 3 times with me over a week. Nothing heavy, but just talking about work and life etc. The thing is…she seems so happy. And knowing that she’s happy makes me happy as well. I think it’s time to just walk away from it all. She’s old enough to make up her mind and I will keep talking to her/reaching out once every few weeks. But I am ready to put it to bed. Thanks Amor and Chris for your help and info on this website, it really has helped me heal!

Phil
Guest
Hi, My girlfriend of two years met another guy and told me she had feelings for him after knowing him for three weeks at her new job. I broke up with her. Days later when I wanted to retalk to her, she told me she wanted to pursue the new relationship and felt too guilty to be with me. I’ve broken the new contact once because of weakness. She’s been nice. Told me she loves me but is happier with the new guy (for now) but misses me a lot on weekdays and is lonely. Is it too late to… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi PHil,

it’s better if you don’t block her so she will see your posts. She’s in a grass is greener syndrome. It’s not too late to start no contact. Improve yourself and be active in posting in social media. Just don’t caption it that it’s for her or anything that relates to your relationships

Charles
Guest
So I have been dating my ex on and off for 6+ years (the past 3 1/2 long distance). We are great when we are together and have an amazing bond. I truly believe she is the one. The distance has been very difficult but she is now only 3 1/2 hours away which isn’t too bad. We have been seeing each other frequently and having a good time but she broke up with me two ago. She said she hasn’t enjoyed traveling so much and spending time at my brothers baseball games (his senior year so we went to… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Charles,

sorry for the late reply.. I think variety is the problem.. have you started nc?

Mo
Guest
Hello This is my story.. When i was single there was someone who really adore me, and she really wanted me, but i was in a diffrent state of mind and didnt want any serious relationship.. But we were great friends and we were really opened up with each other We were in the same working place together, when i left ,she tried to move on from her feelings and, ‘there was a guy iut there at work’, and they started to date.. 2 months after i left the job, i decided i want a serious relation and started talk… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Mo,

it’s better if you finish it.. if you’re aiming for 30 you just have 2 days, so at least by then you’re not as emotional from her message. I”m afraid we only have credit cards as payment as of now..

David
Guest
Hi EGR! I was in a 6+ year relationship, and 11 months ago my ex broke up with me. Went in to No Contact immediately after the break up, and I tried contacting her a month later To wish her a happy birthday , but she blocked me for some reason. I had to call her from My moms phone, lets just say that she wasn’t happy taking my call. Days later I find out that shes seeing a new guy! I felt like such an idiot! How do you see new people only a month after a LTR? So… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi David,

start to text her again.. make it mire natural.. if you want you can start with reacting to her post in social media before texting..

David
Guest

Thanks for the quick response Amor! Unfortunately I don’t have her on social media. I only got Instagram after the break up and it would be akward to add her now. What can I text her? Im going to assume she’s still with her new bf. Thanks!

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

think of interesting topics for her..the ones she always loves to talk about

Andrew
Guest
Hi Amor, Thanks for the response. So I now been in NC for almost 2 weeks. The last few days she’s called me every day. Left me some voicemails and even while I was in Vegas for my bros bachelor party she txt me which hadn’t in over a month. I will see her this weekend because she’s gonna be in charge of some stuff. I even got a msg from her cousin on Facebook asking me a random question. Like she got recruited to send me a msg or something. Do I answer her calls or txts or wait… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

if it’s a series of positive texts or calls in a day, like 10, you can break nc.. and start to build rapport with her

rahul
Guest
Hi there, I wass in a LDR with a girl from previous 6 months, we dated each other and travelled so many cities together. I proposed her and we started discussing about our future. we were in physical relationship. I am so much bonded to her. i did a lot for her .I met with her one of best friend(girl) on a tour, her best friend got jealous of me , nd my gf later on sepearted with her. she is accused me for this , i never told her to break with her. she said i got entered in… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Rahul,

if she thinks you’re clingy and you’re taking her away from her friends, then use that as reason for nc… show her you have a life too and having fun.. but of course you should do that more for yourself…