By Chris Seiter

Updated on July 9th, 2022

It happens to just about every guy in the course of their life.

At some point, you will meet a girl, fall in love, then something will happen causing her to break up with you.  And it will feel like an arrow has pierced your heart.

Are you one of those guys out there whose ex girlfriend has broken your heart?  It nothing to feel ashamed about.  Trust me – it happens to almost every man.

If this is the position you find yourself in, I know that things are probably looking pretty confusing.

It’s like you are living in the upside down world of “Stranger Things“.

Does My Ex Girlfriend Really Give a Damn About Me

she broke my heart

Your mind is probably swirling with all kinds of thoughts.

What you thought you knew about your ex girlfriend, turns out to be something different altogether.

And you are probably full of questions and probably some wrong ideas.

Like, I bet you might be thinking, “if she broke my heart, it must mean she doesn’t care”.

Well, guess what.  There is a lot more going on with a breakup than meets the eye.

You can’t chalk up this one experience, as awful as it is, as proof that your ex girlfriend doesn’t care.

In fact, if you really want a deep dive into how you can recover from all this, then go check out my comprehensive Program I call “Ex Girlfriend Recovery Pro” right Here.

So what do you do and say to her now?

What do you say to the girl who broke your heart into lots of little pieces?

Well, I am going to get into that.  In fact, one thing you will learn is you best guard against some of your base instincts as they can steer you in the wrong direction.

And there is something else you should know.

I realize she broke your heart. But I also know you still love her.

As much as you may want to just push it all of your mind, and as much as you think she played you, the truth is when all the dust settles you will still love her.

Those feelings just don’t evaporate in short order.

And one last thing before we get started on the why she did it and what you can do about it.

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Girlfriend Back?

Take the quiz

Don’t hate your ex girlfriend for breaking your heart. You will have plenty of time to decide if you wish to take her back.

Right now just trust me.  If the breakup just happened, you will not be in any condition to decide whether you should invest any more effort in the relationship.

Why Did Your Ex Girlfriend Tear Out Your Heart?

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Girlfriend Back?

Take the quiz

A girl can breakup with you for many reasons.  No matter how you cut it, it’s going to hurt and feel like she ripped your heart right out of your chest.

Part of moving forward is understanding what happened and why it may have happened.  And guess what?  Sometimes you can do almost everything perfectly on your end, yet your girlfriend can leave you completely devastated.

These love emotions that fill us up can leave us very vulnerable.

So why did your ex girlfriend leave your heart broken?

Here are seven reasons why your girlfriend acted in the way she did.

1. She Has A Mean Streak and Wanted To See You Suffer

Now let’s hope you are not dealing with an ex girlfriend whose mean streak has led her to jerk you around just to watch you suffer.

It is actually pretty rare.  I don’t see too many cases.

But occasionally, something will happen inside the relationship to cause a huge rupture in trust.  And to make a point that you are no longer worthy of her, she may dump you in the worst way possible, making sure you know how little you meant to her.

Now if you are processing things correctly and not falling prey to her angry side, you will see this for what it is – namely a sad and weak attempt to extract pain from you.

A scornful ex girlfriend can be a tough person to deal with.  If this is where things have gotten, it’s best to keep your distance and avoid getting caught up in all the ugliness.

2. Your Ex Girlfriend Was Lured Back By Her Ex

I know it is painful when your ex girlfriend ends up with her ex boyfriend.

As much as you will want to push the thoughts of them being together out of your head, it finds its way in.

Conflict and disagreements about things can create a lot painful memories in a relationship.  But once you have tasted what it feels like when your ex girlfriend has shacked up with another guy – well that is probably the toughest to deal with of them all.

But it need not be the end of all things.

Going back to an old flame can also turn out to be a rebound experience for your ex girlfriend.   So long as you have an Ex Recovery Plan, such as I teach Here, then you increase your chances of setting things right.

3. She Doesn’t Know What She Really Wants and Ended Things On An Impulse

Sometimes your ex girlfriend will break up with you for reasons that are not altogether clear.

No matter how you cut it, a breakup of any kind is going to feel like someone ripped out your heart.

But if you have to deal with the combination of heartache and confusion about why it all happened – that is a double whammy.

If you are getting nothing but uncertainty from your ex about what she wants, it sure won’t take away much of the sting.

And if she ended things abruptly because it finally just caught up with her, take solace that this is probably something you both can recover from if you play your cards right.

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Girlfriend Back?

Take the quiz

4. She Left You or You Left Her Because She Cheated on You

she left you shattered

Now let’s say that the relationship with your girlfriend seems to be going quite well, until you find out that she cheated on you.

Affairs happen and do so with more frequently than most people realize.  But that sure does not make it feel better when you find out that your lover has another lover.

This kind of breakup is right up there with the worst way things can come to an end.  Trust and belief in what the two of you once had is now shattered.  It feels literally like your heart is broken or even shattered into thousands of little pieces.

And there is no way of rationalizing it or understanding what happened.

No matter what she says to excuse her behavior or however hard you try to forgive her, things are not going to be the same for quite some time.

Is it something you both can recover from?  Yes.

But this kind of broken heart will usually take a long time to fully mend.

5. Your Ex Girlfriend Is Trying To Escape Commitment

It is possible your ex girlfriend quit the relationship because she was scared.  She may not be ready to settle down.  She may be overwhelmed with doubts and insecurities.

Meanwhile, you might have thought everything was progressing quite well, until you find out that from her that she wants out or wants to take a long break.

Anytime this kind of thing happens – in which you are pushed away and feel abandoned – it will feel like she gave up on you.

You will find yourself plagued with thoughts of why she doesn’t  love you as much as you love her.

Quick Tip.  Don’t panic.  She probably loves you more than you and she realizes.  Some people are anxious or avoidant when it comes to their relationship attachment style.

6. There Has Been Far Too Much Conflict So Your Ex Found An Escape Hatch

It won’t come as a big surprise to you when you and your ex girlfriend part because of all the fighting that may have taken place.

Nevertheless, as much as you might understand why things should not continue given all the conflict you both have endured, it will still be hard for you to process on the emotional side.

Don’t be surprised if the heartbreak doesn’t go away for a long time because while the two of you argued a lot – in this scenario – there were probably a lot of really good times.

And it’s those memories that will flood your mind as you sit at home alone contemplating what happened and how things ended as they did.

Trust me, as much as your heart will hurt – so too will your ex girlfriend suffer.

You both will wrestle with the same emotions and disappointments.

It will feel like you both have broken a promise you each made to the other.

7. She Left You To See How Much You Really Love Her

Sometimes an ex girlfriend is up to something.  Yes, she broke your heart and as you try to figure out what you did wrong, just maybe the answer is not really much at all.

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Girlfriend Back?

Take the quiz

Perhaps this breakup is coming from an immature, almost cruel place.

I don’t see it often, but there are some girls who will breakup with you to just see how hard you will work in trying to get her back.

Think of it as a foolish way of her testing your degree of commitment to her.

If your ex girlfriend is playing with love and manipulating emotions to get a rise out of you to see just how hard you might fight to win her back, then you might want to consider if you even want her back.

What Steps Should You Take If Your Heart Has Been Broken

hammering out a solution

So when you find yourself holding your heart in your hand after it has been ripped out, just know that it is not the end of the world.

There are some steps you should follow in order to get through all this.

So let’s get started.

Step One: Don’t Make Things Worse By Trying To Break Her Heart Even More Than Your Own

Trying to get sweet revenge on your ex girlfriend just because she shattered your heart is not the way forward.

You will only come to regret your actions and your heart will ache even more.

This is a time for finding peace within yourself and allowing her time to process it all because no matter what you think – she is suffering too.

Step Two: Healing and Recovery Should Be Your Top Priority

Now that you are holding your heart in your hand, you must be wondering if you will ever get over this.

You definitely will.  Indeed, it’s time to pivot now.

You can have your crying fit.  You can feel sorry for yourself.  But after a couples days of riding that emotional elevator down to the basement, it’s time to re-engage with life.

This is where you need to have a clear recovery plan for yourself.   You will not be in good shape when it comes time to launch your effort at getting her back unless you can get yourself in the right place emotionally.

Step Three: Choose a Period of No Contact

In order to accomplish Step two above, you will be best served by entering into a No Contact period.

So for a period of time, you will not make any effort to contact your ex girlfriend.

Nor will you respond to her if she contacts you – even if its to checkup on you.

Now, depending on the kind of relationship the two of you had and how things unfolded when you broke up, you might want to give her a heads up that you are taking some “quiet” time for yourself.  That way, she won’t feel “put off” if she tries to contact you, but you don’t respond.

It will also be important to decide how long you want your no contact period to last.  There is no magic time period, though the sweet spot for a lot of people has been around a month or so.

Step Four:  Prepare Yourself For The Tests To Come

Now while all this may sound easy enough, trust me, it is not.

It is hard.

You will be tempted to crash back into feeling sorry for yourself.  You will be tempted to play victim.  You will want to contact her for all kinds of reasons.  And when you hear from her, you will do all kinds of second guessing as to whether you should respond or not.

In most cases, it is better to remain loyal and committed to your ex recovery plan.  I talk about it HERE in great detail.

Step Five: Implement Your Ex Recovery Plan – Your Personal Healing and Growth

So while No contact is happening, don’t think this is just a time in which you do nothing but bite you tongue from talking to her or thinking about her.

The No Contact Period allows you to do many things and among the most important is to focus on your recovery activities as well as the personal growth goals you set up for yourself.

This is all about being the best person you can possibly be for yourself.  And of course, if your ex girlfriend notices that you are prospering and evolving, that helps you in the reinforcement of your overall value.

Step Six: Reinforce Your Value and Re-Build Attraction

Part of the post breakup period is finding ways to showcase your value and do things to underscore your attraction.

There are many strategies and tactics you can employ to accomplish this.

So say goodbye to those broken hearted days.  Say hello to the new you.

In time, you will like what you see. Be ready to show the world – including her – what the best version of yourself really looks like.

Step Seven: Contact Her Only When It’s Time

Eventually, even after all the heartbreak of the relationship going sour, there will be an optimum time for you to initiate contact with her again.

I talk about this at length in my eBook, Ex Girlfriend Recovery Pro.

There are many ways you can connect with her again and even if you meet with resistance, there are still ways in which you can make inroads.

By this time, you should be recovered from the heartbreak of the past.

And if you are the person you really wish to be, then no matter how your efforts turn out – even if you are not successful with re-starting the relationship – this newer version of you will be able to handle just about anything.	

Related Articles