By Chris Seiter

Published on November 14th, 2022

So what does it mean when your girlfriend calls it quits and breaks up with you, yet she still wants to talk?

What should you do?

Does it mean you still have a chance to get back together?

Well in this post we are going to explore this situation and first explain what it might mean.  Then we are going to give you some practical advice as to what you should do.

So usually there are seven possible reasons why your girlfriend wishes to talk to you after the breakup.  But in keeping with brevity, let me get right to the point and give you a brief explanation as to why she wants to converse with you.

The core reason why your ex girlfriend wishes to talk is two fold.  Either she wants to make sure you are OK and in her somewhat deluded thinking is hoping that the two of you will still be good friends. Or the other possibility is she is unsure she made the right decision and wants to explore options of possibly getting back with you without actually coming out and admitting that is what is on her mind.

But as with all things, it is never as simple as it may first appear.  So let’s dive into some of the other reasons why your ex girlfriend wants to keep the dialogue flowing with you.

7 Reasons Why Your Ex Girlfriend Wants to Keep the Lines of Communication Open

It can be very painful to be on the short end of the stick when a breakup occurs.

If your ex-girlfriend has decided to end things it can make you feel all kinds of things including shock, resentment, panic, and even despair.

But if she then reaches out and wants to have an ongoing communication, it can really leave you confused.

So what is driving her to want to keep the dialogue going?

1. Your Ex Girlfriend Could Be Trying to Be Nice

So let’s say you get a text message or even a phone call from your ex-girlfriend.  You may think at first she wants you back.  But  it could be simply her way of being nice.

She may have responded to a message you sent and replied back. Or maybe she initiated the call or text.  Don’t mistake her responding as a surefire sign of her wanting to revisit the breakup.  It may be that she is a nice and kind hearted person and doesn’t want to be rude to you.

While you may be hoping that it is a positive sign (and it could be), don’t get your hopes up too high that it is all going to work out.

She may very well have had a really good reason for breaking up with you and just because she is open to talking to you doesn’t mean that everything is going to be fine.  It takes work and an effective ex recovery plan to improve your chances of getting her back for good.

2. She May Be Having Second Thoughts and Is Exploring Your Readiness for Resuming the Relationship

It is possible your former girlfriend has realized she has made a mistake.

Maybe she rushed into a decision that she really doesn’t want to follow through with.  So her reaching out to you or carrying on a steady flow of dialogue could be her way of resolving some serious doubts about whether she did the right thing.

This kind of thing happens a lot.  There could have been an argument and a lot of things were said.  She may have gotten so upset she decided to walk away from the relationship.

But in moments of passion and emotions, we can do and say things that we really don’t want to do.

3. Your Ex Could Be Confused About What She Really Wants

Relationships can be complex in many ways and sometimes it can be confusing about what one really wants.

So your ex girlfriend could be caught up in a state of uncertainty.  One way to resolve this is for her to resume talking with you and explore both her and your feelings.

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Girlfriend Back?

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If you believe this kind of thing is what is unfolding, then take things slow.

Give her time to get in touch with her feelings.  Don’t press her on matters that can be controversial and don’t look for immediate closure.  If you rush things, you could end up contributing to more confusion or even chaos.

4. Your Former Girlfriend May Have Deluded Herself That The Two of You Can Get Along as “Just Friends”

Another possible reason why she is talking to you is because of her shortsighted notion that the two of you can carry on as just “friends”.

In a way, this is a delusion.  You may very well want her as a friend, but first and foremost you most likely want her as your lover.

Unfortunately, this kind of reaction from an ex-girlfriend is not unusual.  She may simply be a kind hearted person and thinks that being friends is perfectly acceptable.  And while it may sound good in the mind, in practice it is a really difficult thing for two former lovers to pull off.

Another element that might be causing her to want to talk is she may be feeling guilty about the breakup.  So in that mental state she may think that making a friendly overture to you would relieve herself of some of the guilt she might be experiencing.

5. She Could Be Simply Worried About You and Wants to Check-in

Your ex could also be concerned about your welfare.

She may have heard you are taking the breakup badly and since she still cares about you it is not unreasonable to expect her to reach out and see if you are OK.

This happens a lot and sometimes it’s just not you that she is worried about, but herself.  She too may be hurting and out of habit she feels compelled to connect with you and talk it out.

I know this can be confusing because in one respect she is giving you a sign that she still cares a lot about you, but in the same conversation she may also insist that her decision to breakup is irreversible.

This is the sort of outcome that can make your head spin because you can misinterpret her intentions.  It can almost feel like she is breaking up with you again.

6. Your Ex Girlfriend May Be Wanting To Connect With You To Pick Up Her Personal Things

Often an ex will reach out to you to try and organize an exchange of personal belongings.  Just because you received a positive text from her doesn’t mean that she is warming up to you again.

It may be that she is sensitive to staying on good terms with you because later she will need to coordinate with you to pick up some things or vice versa.

7. She May Be Jealous About You Seeing Other Women and Can’t Help But Inquire About It

Things after a breakup can get confusing.  For example, let’s say your ex-girlfriend initiates the breakup, but then later learns that you are dating someone else or has heard a rumor about you and another girl.  The pangs of jealousy she experiences can be a catalyst for her wanting to resume talking with you.

After hearing about you seeing someone else, she may have been shocked by that reality and now realizes she doesn’t want to lose you.  Or it could be that she is uncertain about what she wants, but the realization that you are holding another girl in your arms has gotten her discombobulated.

What Should You Do If Your Ex Girlfriend Wants To Talk?

Whatever the reason your ex-girlfriend has for wanting to talk with you, it is wise not to jump to conclusions.

Take things slow and gather some insights along the way.  Eventually you will get some clues as to what is driving this behavior.  I have provided you with 7 reasons why your ex might be wanting to talk.  The chances are high her motivations fall in one or more of those categories.

As you work through my Ex Recovery Program, you will learn that getting an ex-girlfriend back is not going to happen in a flash.  You need to have a concerted plan and part of that plan will involve having positive, ongoing communications with your former girlfriend.

But there is a time and place for when to avail yourself to talk with her.  It may be more appropriate to observe a No Contact period in which you don’t participate in communications with her.  There are exceptions to this rule, but more often than not, it will serve you to have some radio silence with your ex girlfriend such that you are the one that decides when communications should resume.

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Chris Seiter
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