By Chris Seiter

Published on June 6th, 2022

There is a good chance that your breakup with your ex girlfriend caused her to spiral out of control.  Perhaps you too are struggling in a big way.  So in some ways it is not too surprising if you get a phone call from your drunk ex girlfriend or if she texts you while she is drunk.

What we are going to examine today is what it means when your ex girlfriend drunk calls you.  Or if you suspect she is drunk texting you.

I am going to walk you through the top 7 reasons.  But first, let me give you a quick answer to why she is doing this.


When your ex calls or texts you and is unmistakably drunk, the primary reason for her doing this is because she has not reconciled in her mind whether the breakup is the right thing to do.  She behaves this way because she is struggling on a subconscious level and is searching for answers.

So what might be some of the things that causes your ex to do this, particularly when you thought it was all over.

The Seven Reasons Why Your Ex Girlfriend Calls or Texts You When She is Drunk

No doubt your former girlfriend is hurting.  In most of these cases, her effort to communicate with you in this way is not a prank, but rather a call out for help.

1. She Can’t Get You Out of Her Mind

In many of these cases the ex can’t stop thinking about you.  Every impulse she has had since the breakup was to touch base with you. Now that she is a bit intoxicated, all pretenses of being patient or waiting for you to call is set aside and she calls you or texts you.

Why now you ask?  Well, it is simple.  Deep inside she is not ready to let you go.  She doesn’t want to end things.

2. Your Ex Girlfriend is Testing You and Herself

It is also very possible that your ex is very curious as to how you will react.  In some of these situations she is looking for more information to test you and herself.

Maybe the whole breakup happened too fast for her.  Maybe she instigated it all.  Or maybe you dumped her.  In either case, if she is so inclined while under the influence of alcohol, she may want to try and talk with you in some manner to see where you are about things.

Gathering this information may help her get a fix on what she really wants.

3. She Is In a World of Hurt and Needs Closure

Another very common reason why your ex is behaving this way is because breakups are hard and emotionally draining experiences.  She may be hurting in ways you can’t imagine.  To extinguish this hurt, your ex may choose to go get drunk.

And invariably, after she chases down a few drinks, she may decide that she “has to talk to you”.


Because she is searching for answers and is seeking a way to bring some closure

4. The Call or Text From Her Could Be Part of a Larger Strategy

It is also very possible that your ex girlfriend is very clever as well as very drunk.  Combine the two and you can get a very motivated woman who wishes to learn more about what you are doing, thinking about, and whether you might entertain coming to her rescue.

If you fall for this, trust me, you wouldn’t be the first.  Like a knight in shining armor you may find yourself coming to her rescue.

And yes, she may be drunk and perhaps she doesn’t want things to end.  But the path forward can be bumpy until you find out what she is really thinking and wanting from you.

5. Someone Dared Her and She Really Wanted To

Then sometimes you get these situations in which the ex is enormously drunk and only a very small part of her is interested in resuming the relationship, but after she was prodded enough, she may decide its time to get a rise out of you.  So she calls or texts something that sounds outlandish or closer to gibberish.

Does it really mean anything?

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Girlfriend Back?

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In this kind of situation, usually not.  But you never know for sure until things play out.

6. She Is Hoping For Clarity on the Future of the Relationship

Another driver for her to drunk call or text you is she secretly wants to know if there is still a chance the two of you can be together again.  Now, she doesn’t expect a clear answer.  In a way she is probing for cues from you as to what you are really thinking.

In these cases, she wants you back.  In truth, she is afraid to tell you or show you that. But after she is sufficiently drunk, all those norms are cast aside and she gives it a whirl hoping some part of you might be receptive.

7. She Could Be Helplessly Drunk And Simply Did a Stupid Thing

And last but not least the reason why your ex girlfriend is drunk calling or texting you is because she is so drunk and so out of it, it just happens.

She might not want you back.  She might not want to hurt you either. But whatever filters she had in place to stop herself from doing such a foolish thing is cast aside.

Maybe there is some part of her that is still a little angry with you.  Or conversely, there could be some part of her that is missing the good times with you.

In some of these situations, your ex is not looking to reunite with you.  She knows it over.  Deep inside she may not want the relationship.

Maybe she is just looking for a little attention and in that moment she is thinking no harm – no foul.

Unfortunately, the other party (you) may not know this and sadly can get confused.

What Do You Do If Your Ex is Drunk and Calls or Text You

So if she reaches out in this way, now you know that it could mean different things.  You won’t know exactly where she is coming from for awhile.

So what should you do?

If you are in No Contact, which is a period of time in which you shut down communications with her, it would be best not to talk with her.  Ignore the text.  Don’t answer the phone call.

But if you end up responding to her, then it would be best to listen and say as little as possible.  Take on a more neutral stance.  But don’t be negative and don’t kid with her and egg her on.  You should ask her if she is in a safe environment and whether she has someone that can drive her home if that is needed.

Even if you are not interested in pursuing anything with her, you don’t want her to be in an emotional or physical vulnerable position in public.

You may choose to contact a mutual friend to help you out in this situation if she needs assistance or is willing to accept help.

Lastly, never make any important decisions or agreements if  you believe your ex girlfriend is drunk.	

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