By Chris Seiter

Updated on July 9th, 2022

Do you ever get the feeling that despite all the awful things your ex girlfriend said to you that she really isn’t over you? That maybe she is pretending she no longer cares for or loves you.

I know it can be frustrating dealing with the ups and downs of a breakup. This phenomenon can be further exasperated when your ex girlfriend acts like she really doesn’t want you in her life.

Or worse, she goes hot and cold, confusing you about where you stand.

But the fact is that sometimes, your ex does care deeply about you. Perhaps she is just still really angry.  Maybe you said or did something that made her very mad and she is in no mood to forgive.

She might be quite vocal about it all, leaving you with the sense that you don’t stand a chance.

Nevertheless, when things look their darkest with your ex girlfriend, and she is giving you every sign and reason to think it’s all over – this is the time to dig in and fight for your relationship.

It is quite possible that she is pretending she’s over you and hates you.

But have you considered the possibility that it’s all just a surface thing.  Such that, in reality, she does still love you. 

Indeed, if you look closely enough, the signs could be pointing to the possibility that your ex girlfriend could be thawing out in due time.

Lucky for you I have an Ex Recovery Plan that can help you navigate these confusing times when your ex girlfriend is giving you conflicting signs and messages about whether she wants you back.

7 Signs That Your Ex Girlfriend Is Pretending She Doesn’t Love You Anymore

giving you some attitude

Sign 1: She Is Insistent That She Hates You and Wants Nothing To Do With You.

So if you find yourself on the receiving end of your ex girlfriend’s wrath, there may be much more to it than you realize. 

Certainly, on the surface of these motions coming out of her it may appear she is royally pissed off at you. But there may be more to it all.

So when she is hurling insults and making wild assertions that she doesn’t love you or never did, just know that when emotions run high, so does the mouth. She is liable to say all kinds of things.  So take all of her utterances literally.

So my advice to you is weather the storm. 

She is probably very mad at you and possibly deservedly so. Let her have her day.  Let her get it all out. Don’t make things worse by trying to defend or argue.  That is what she expects and it will land you in only more hot water. Trust me, if she is giving you the old “send off” with no room for second chances, just do everything you can to avoid making it worse.  

When all the dust clears, there is a good chance she will be more amenable to talking through things.  That is why in my Ex Recovery Program,  I talk a lot about the value of employing No Contact so as to allow for some time to go by and the emotions around the breakup to settle back down.

Sign 2: You Catch Her Telling Everyone How She is So Much Over You

When you ex girlfriend seem to go out of her way to tell not just you, but all her friends and acquaintances that she is over you – that the relationship is over, then it probably isn’t. 

Sometimes it will be obvious that you ex girlfriend is overreaching as she spreads the word that she wants nothing to do with you. 

But perhaps she is going about all this a bit too publicly or communicating this news in such a way that it is guaranteed to get back to you.

You see, sometimes while she is running you down in one moment to all her friends, she is also secretly hoping you will hear about it and will come prove her wrong. 

Sometimes when our emotions swing in one direction, it goes to far and too fast.  So before she is even able to process her own feelings fully, she may get caught up in all the negative emotions that engulfed her right after the breakup.

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Girlfriend Back?

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Remember, it’s not words that matter most.  It’s actions over time.  So don’t get caught up in all the crazy stuff that can happen.

Sign 3: You Can Tell Your Ex Girlfriend Is Pretending She Doesn’t Want You Back When She Keeps Following You On Social Media

following you on social media

Usually if your ex girlfriend is tracking you closely in the social media circles – reading your Instagram or Snapchat Stories or whatever is her favorite social media platform, chances are she is far from wanting things to come to a permanent end. 

Now some may say she can’t help herself and she is merely only carrying through on routines.  And that may be true to some extent as it’s easy to fall prey to our impulses.  

But if you notice a clear trend of her doing this or taking actions to hide her social media stalking ways, then it’s far more likely she still has a place in her heart for you and needs some time to work through her conflicted mind.

Sign 4: Your Ex Girlfriend Writes a Snapchat or Instagram Story That Sounds Like It’s Aimed At You

One giveaway that your ex girlfriend is second guessing herself about whether she made the right decision to leave you is if you start getting these indirect forms of communication.  While she may not be calling you out by name, her social media stories or posts may be touching on the relationship she had with you.

The tone some of these stories may take the form that she is a new woman and doesn’t need a man in her life.  Or she may gush on about how she learned her lessons and will never fall into the same traps she did in the past. 

Except, as you read through these social media musings, you can’t help but notice she is insisting a bit too much that it’s over, almost like she is trying to convince herself.

It makes you wonder when is pretending you don’t want somebody become a deluded state versus a strategic plan. I guess it depends on just how hard your ex girlfriend tries to convince you that you are not the one.  Maybe you are one deluding yourself.  Trick stuff isn’t it!

Sign 5:  She Reacts With Strong Emotions To Get a Reaction From You

Often, an ex will test you to see how you will react. 

Sometimes she will probe and test in ways to confirm what she thinks she already knows.  She may think you are just not worth chasing anymore and will drop a few breadcrumbs to see if you do or say anything to confirm her preexisting negative disposition towards you.

But imagine throwing a monkey wrench into her plans.  Why give her what she is looking for? Why behave badly?  Often, it’s better to throw her a curve ball and meet her negative probing with kindness and understanding.  That could throw your ex girlfriend off her game.

Then sometimes there are ex girlfriends that pretend they wants nothing to do with you .  But secretly, your ex could be harboring hopes that you are still interested and willing to meet her halfway to resolve the underlying issues that separated the two of you in first place.

Sign 6: Your Ex Girlfriend Sends Her Best Friend To Check Up On You

So you know something is up if your ex’s best friend comes snooping around, asking you a few things. 

Sometimes the plan is for her to get your reaction and report back.  In other cases, the ploy is to muddy the waters about whether your ex would ever consider taking you back just to see how you handle the news.

But think about it.  It’s no likely that friend of her’s showed up without your ex girlfriend’s blessing.  And if that is the case, then why waste her time and emotional energy on even doing this if she wasn’t interested in you on some level.  Of course, to save face and to keep you off guard, your ex girlfriend will not want you to know her truest feelings. So that is why she sends a confederate to ascertain what might be your mindset about all that has gone down.

Sign 7: Your Ex Girlfriend Makes It Known To The World She is Dating Again

Sometimes your ex gf will try just too hard to get the news out that she is dating. 

She may cleverly post some subtle things on social media to lead up to the splash news that she is going out with someone.  Sometimes she will just allow the news to just hang out there without any clear evidence as to whether she is going out with some other guy. 

Or she can be more bold and actually pretend to be excited about an upcoming date, asking for advice on fashion choices or places to go.

Now sometimes, there is malice in mind.  She may be so pissed at you, she wants you to know other guys want her and by golly she is going to show you just how attractive she is to other men.  In other cases, she may be leading you own to think she has some hot date lined up.  She may actually be testing the waters. Her heart may not be fully in it.

In both cases, she is looking for some kind of reaction so as to read what you are feeling and how you might react, which is the very reason she is pretending or disguising her true feelings.	

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