By Chris Seiter

Updated on November 17th, 2022

When you have a difficult falling out with an ex girlfriend, it can be tough to get things back on track.  This is particularly the case if the breakup went bad and the fallout lasts several days or longer.

You see, that is the thing about relationships.  You can draw very close to a person and all of that passion that attracted the two of you to each other can also turn on you and your ex girlfriend.  Before you can even process what happened, things can go wrong quickly as all of that passion can easily fuel the fires of anger and resentment.

Before you know it, your standing there wondering what happened and why things are so suddenly messed up to an extreme.

So let’s talk about how you should deal with a difficult breakup with your ex girlfriend and what things you should be on the look out for as well as those things you should consider doing differently.

5 Ways To Deal With a Difficult Breakup With Your Ex Girlfriend?

upset over difficult breakup

If you are looking for a solution to escape this nightmare breakup you are enduring with your ex girlfriend, you best have a plan so you can be assured you aren’t making things worse.  And better yet, if you have a sensible Ex Recovery Game Plan,  you stand a better chance of making a horrible situation, a whole lot better.

This is not the time to panic. It’s time to think in terms of your long term strategy.

1.  Don’t Panic and Make Things Worse By Attacking Your Ex Girlfriend

It is probably going to get a little crazy for you right after the breakup. You might be seething with anger about something that went down.  What you have to guard against is giving in to you emotions by launching sudden attacks against your ex girlfriend. Sure, she may have said or done something that was really bad, even wicked. And you may feel very much in the right to let loose a series of text messages, setting her straight.  But that would be a huge mistake.  It might make you feel better for awhile, but if your long term goal is to try and get back with her, you will only hurt your overall chances by attacking her.

2. Select an Ex Recovery Plan That Gives You The Best Chance of Getting Her Back

If you want back in her good graces then you need to think strategically.  So be sure to get invested with an Ex Back Program that ties together a lot of good tactics for the long term.  Yes, I am sure if you have been through a problematic breakup, there are all kinds of things flooding you mind.  The main thing is to dial back any impulsive actions and be sure to put into motion the tactics that will benefit you both personally as well as reinforce your value.

3. It’s Time For You to Focus on “Your Needs”

Chances are this whole episode of your ex girlfriend leaving you is upsetting you in all sorts of ways.  It is not unusual for a painful breakup to hit in ways you least expect.  After the initial shock and numbness,  a sense of despair or desperation can flood your emotional zone.  Then later you may find yourself filled with anger or even rage.

To get through it all, it’s important to step back from the emotional chaos.  I know its tough when you are bewildered by her actions.  It may even take you longer to calm down than you might ever imagine.  So think in terms of putting you focus on self healing.  Thoughts about how your ex girlfriend did you wrong is not productive.  Turn them off and start getting involved in some of the recovery activities I talk about in my Ex Girlfriend Recovery Pro Program

4. Allow Time For Your Ex Girlfriend To Cool Off

If your ex gf did something rash, leaving you standing there in a fog wondering what the heck happened, then chances are that your ex girlfriend was upset to begin with.

So the first rule of thumb in dealing with difficult breakups is to pull away and let her cool down.   Don’t try to contact her and reason with her. Now I am not saying this is going to be the cure to all your problems, but it could help in winding things down and give you both a chance to make amends, averting a full and complete disaster.

5. Be Ready For the Head Fake Coming From Your Ex Girlfriend

Just be prepared for some weird and confusing thoughts.  When your ex girlfriend drops you and sets off in her own direction, you are going to feel devastated.  The pain of suddenly losing you best friend, lover, and the person you thought you would spend your life with can leave you really confused, even screwed up for awhile.

Trust me, you are going to be a in a vulnerable state.

So if out of the blue your ex girlfriend reaches out to you, acting like nothing really has changed, just know that she is probably as screwed up as you are feeling.  Chances are she is hiding it. Girls are good at that.  So while it may not be an intentional head fake to mess with your mind, your ex may have a weak moment or two and try to contact you.

There are lots of reasons why this can happen.  But more often than not, she is probably not ready to seriously entertain getting back together. What is more likely is she is being influenced by some of the same things that have caused you to question what it all means.  This “head fake” could be her way of trying to deal with her own uncertainties.  In a way, she is testing her feelings.

10 Ways Your Ex Girlfriend Can Stress You Out After a Breakup

stressed over girl

So let’s say things are going the wrong way with your ex girlfriend.  And based on recent events, you have come to believe you stand little chance of making things right.

OK, so things are not looking so good.  Well, welcome to the world of post breakup confusion.

Just don’t forget, there will be a lots of ebbs and flows.

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Girlfriend Back?

Take the quiz

So let me give you the Top Ten Ways your ex girlfriend might end up stressing you out after the breakup.

I think if you know ahead of time how things can go wrong with your ex gf, it will help you deal with some of the ups and downs associated with difficult breakups.

Just know that in many cases, whatever she says or does is not necessarily fully reflective of her deepest feelings.  So try to take these setbacks in stride and stick with your Ex Recovery Program.

1. She might tell you things that sink your heart, like, “I don’t want to ever see you again” or “I hate you and I don’t want you ever contacting me again.

2. Your Ex Girlfriend could start seeing someone else.  It might even turn serious.

3. She will ghost you causing you to feel completely disconnected and removed from her life.

4. Your stress levels after the breakup will rise because of  all the uncertainty that transpires day after day.

5. You ex girlfriend might file a restraining order on you to drill home her point that she wants you to stay out of her life.

6. You might momentarily think things are getting better, but then she could have second thoughts about going forward with the relationship.

7. Your ex gf might give you an ultimatum, insisting on certain things you are not ready to concede or agree with.

8. Your ex gf may accuse you of something you clearly did not do.  She believes it and no amount of denial is going to convince her otherwise.

9. She may start trying to communicate with you while you are in No Contact, leaving you wondering what you should do.

10. You ex girlfriend might go into a “pretend state” where she won’t acknowledge that she triggered the break.  She may try to flip it back to you as the catalyst of the split up.

But What If I Still Feel Stressed Over Breaking Up With My Ex Girlfriend?

upset feelings with ex

Sometimes the difficulty of trying to get back to each other may stem from you initiating the breakup and now your ex girlfriend is simply not ready to give you a do over.

Indeed, she may be harboring some bad thoughts about what you did.

Or it’s possible your ex girlfriend was the instigator of the breakup.  She dumped you and was not very kind about it.

Sure, you may feel guilty about your past decisions, but just know that the past, while it can be instructive, is behind you.  What matters is what you do going forward.

So let go of your stress or guilt you may still be carrying.  In my Program, I discuss a number of activities you can get involved in. It will not serve you in the future to second guess everything that happened.  There will be a time to acknowledge you mistakes and do something about it.

But first, you need some time to make a very important decision.

Deciding If You Still Want Her Back After All the Stressful Times

So let’s say you find yourself amidst the chaos that she has unleashed on you. You first impulse might be to quickly try to make amends.  But what you should really be looking for is some clarity on what is right for you and her.

Sometimes my clients will try to rush to judgement, skipping over the things they should do first, namely getting started with the healing and recovery process.

What you don’t want to happen is getting back for “getting back’s” sake.  You should think about what got you here.  Is this first breakup or one of many? Does this relationship have any future? These are deep questions and won’t be resolved in a few hours or days or even weeks.

Take some time.  Allow time to create a vacuum.  She might just miss you and it will allow you to sort thru everything that has happened and eventually if you decide you really want her back, you can launch a full ex recovery plan to try and accomplish that.



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