By Chris Seiter

Updated on July 9th, 2022

Are you starting to see some signs that your long distance relationship girlfriend is pulling away from you?  Does it seem like she is losing interest in the LDR?

Has she just disappeared?  Are you hearing from her much less than ever before? Does it feel like your LDR girlfriend is walking out of your life?

Believe me, no one liked to entertain such questions.

Being ignored or worse ghosted, is never a good sign.  And so when your girlfriend stops responding to you, one has to wonder if it’s because of something you said or did or if it’s just because the long distances between the two of you, all the miles separating you, has led to her finally losing interest in you.

I mean it’s true right? You don’t stand a chance with a girlfriend who is miles away.  That’s what they say.

People have probably been whispering in your ear all along that you are doomed.  Some of them are probably telling you that long distance relationships with girls never work out.

You need to be near these women and take care of their everyday needs are your toast” the cynics will tell you.

Your friends may even warn you that it’s no use trying to get a long distance girlfriend back. They will warn you that a LDR with girls are a lost cause.  A fool’s errand.

But don’t listen to any of that because things may not  be over.  I wrote a book that deals with the whole ex recovery process.  So there are resources out there for you.

These kind of relationships are not doomed to fail.  I know, because I have been in one and it worked out great for me.  But make no mistake, it’s work.  And if your girlfriend becomes unsure and you sense her pulling away, you need to spot the signs early and do something about.

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Girlfriend Back?

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Your LDR May Not Be Over

winding road

Your long distance romance with your girlfriend may not have to come to an end.

In a moment, I am going to talk about some sensible steps you can take to try to get your girlfriend to realize that your long distance relationship is not doomed.  There are ways to bring the two of your closer together, even when separated by vast distances.

You may discover that the signs that your long distance relationship is ending were premature.  It may very well be that you girlfriend is frustrated and unsure because things have been too vague for too long.  You are going to need a plan to set things straight.

But before we get into all that, let first explore if there are signs that point to your long distance girlfriend becoming disenchanted.  After all, the sooner you can detect this and nip it in the bud, the better, right?   And we might as well explore your worst fears such as whether your LDR girlfriend is cheating on you.

Are There Signs That Your Long Distance Girlfriend is Slipping Way?

You bet there are signs that signal that the relationship is crumbling.

So let’s explore some of the more subtle signs that your long distance relationship is ending.

I mean, you got to know, right?  If things are starting to fall apart, you need to get ahead of the curve.

So if you can pick up some early signals from your girlfriend that she is not happy with the whole idea of continuing a LDR, you at least have a chance to address her underlying concerns.

Now as we go forward, I am going to assume that we are not dealing with some of the uglier aspects of how some relationships sour.

If you are in a toxic long distance relationship with your girlfriend, then the healthiest thing you can do is end it yourself.  Which of course brings us to the million dollar question which is when to end a long distance relationship.

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Girlfriend Back?

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Trust me, there are no quizzes that will tell you how and when to do that.  But before you start seriously thinking about that, just make sure that you have tried all of the tactics I discuss later below.  And make sure you have executed a sensible ex recovery plan.

So let’s get started with top 7 signs.

What Are the 7 Signs That Your Long Distance Girlfriend Is Losing Interest and Wanting To Call It Quits

girl looking bored

1. Your girlfriend has stopped calling you or initiating text messages. Perhaps she has not yet said anything outright.  But if you get the feeling that the power balance of who is initiating the communications is shifting such that you are doing all of the chasing, then it is likely your girlfriend is getting second thoughts.

2. The conversations of late have lacked any spark. Your girlfriend seems a bit depressed, lacking enthusiasm.  When you ask her about it, she denies anything is wrong.  But you are starting to get that sinking feeling that this LDR could be running out of steam.

3. Your girlfriend wants to talk about the relationship and where things are going.  You sense she is not happy with the trajectory of this LDR and no matter what you say, you can’t seem to get her to agree that the two of you can work it out.  Your girlfriend is becoming increasingly despondent and negative, failing to offer solutions.

4. You have been trying to reach her but it seems she is taking forever to get back to you.  Then when you finally break through to make contact, she makes an excuse as to why she can’t talk for very long.  It is like she is avoiding you and when you are finally able to talk, she has little to say and you have to carry the conversation.

5. Your girlfriend lets it slip that she might be seeing someone else.  It is almost like she wants you to know, but she doesn’t want to actually confirm it.  Of course, when you do finally muster up your courage to ask her if she is seeing someone else, she responds in a less than convincing way.

6. Your LDR girlfriend starts asking you questions about whether you have gotten frustrated with how things are progressing.  She practically encourages you to go out and date other girls if you want because she wouldn’t “blame” you.  The whole discussion is peculiar and disturbing because you wonder why your girlfriend wants you out there chasing after other girls.  It as if she is looking for a way to break up with you or give herself cover for dating another guy.

7. The long distance aspect of the relationship can take its toll in the increased frequency of fights.  Indeed, it seems your girlfriend is going out of her way to pick fights, almost like she wants a reason to breakup.  She keeps prodding and pushing and being unreasonable in such a way that you are wondering if she is setting you up as the “bad guy”.

What Should You Do If Your Ex Girlfriend Stops Communicating With You While You Are In a Long Distance Relationship

So if you start picking up on some signs that your girlfriend is not happy with how things are going and is frustrated with the long distance aspect of the relationship, then you need to have some counter measures in mind. You need a plan to rekindle those feelings you know she still has.

Remember that with these kind of breakups, the tearing apart is often in slow motion.  So in a lot of these cases, there may be some things you can do to help get things back on track.   Let’s talk about the big hitters.

1. Don’t Panic When Your Long Distance Girlfriend Won’t Respond

Whatever is going down between you and your girlfriend, remember not to panic or freak out.  It’s better to remain calm and discuss her concerns or insecurities openly.  If she is not responding, it doesn’t necessarily mean that she has stopped loving you or that she has found herself a new guy.  Just remain calm and eventually she will likely connect with you.  Don’t be defensive about why she did not respond in a timely manner.

2. Consider Going Quiet

Don’t Send Her a Barrage of Text Messages. That will do nothing more than annoy or even antagonize her. If your LDR girlfriend decides to go “quiet” and is not responding to your efforts to talk with her, just give her some space. Crowding her is the worst thing you can do.  Chances are that if you try to force her to respond or hassle her, you will pay a steep price.  And if you want to know how to best make use of texting in a breakup situation, the by all means pick up a copy of my eBook, The Texting Bible.

3. Don’t Go Crazy Trying to Repeatedly Call Your Long Distance Girlfriend

I know you feel cut off from your girlfriend, but you need to find the temptation of blowing up her phone.    So don’t aggravate the situation by calling or texting her incessantly. I had one client whose LDR ex girlfriend was on the verge of restarting the relationship, but after feeling overwhelmed by her ex she just said “enough”.

4. Reach Out For Some Help To Discover What Might Be Going On With Your LDR Girlfriend

Sometimes your ex girlfriend won’t open up or respond.  So sometimes you have to tip toe around and find out from close and mutual friends and  acquaintances what is going on with her.  Now be prepared to get the runaround because these people may not say.  But if you can find one person that is willing to tackle what is going on behind the scenes, then you can get some good intel.

5. Check the Usual Places On Social Media

You can usually tell that your LDR relationship with your girlfriend is on the bubble.  It’s when  she starts popping up on social media, seemingly happy as a lark, but you are getting very little face time.  So look around all the popular social media platforms she like to frequent and see if her habits have changed.  Your girlfriend could be hiding in plain sight.

6. Compose a Letter But Don’t Send It

Now a lot times guys will think that the way to solve all their problems is to right a long letter to their girlfriend pointing out how much they love her and how she really should be more responsive to all the messages they have left.

My advice is, sure, right all this down and pour it all out on the page, including everything you fear might be going wrong.  But under no circumstances should you send such a letter.


Because it most likely will blow up in your face.  Write the letter for healing purposes, but don’t send it because you can bet that no matter how well you think you wrote the letter, she will get it and immediately be offended in some way for what you said or didn’t say.  There is no magic bullet or letter you can write to make your long distance relationship girlfriend feel better.

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Girlfriend Back?

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If you had to resort to writing a long letter to break through her no contact defenses, she most likely won’t like the intrusion.

7. Evaluate Whether Your Girlfriend Is Worth All This Effort

So let’s say your long distance girlfriend has ghosted you.

She won’t pick up the phone or has you blocked.  Let’ say she has also blocked your access to her on social media.  Whether you text her or try calling her, she is not wanting to pick up.

If this sort of thing has been going on a few days, well, it could be anything. So just breathe.  But if your girlfriend has been ignoring you for a a good while now, then you might want to start asking yourself if the relationship is worth it.

Now I know what most of you will say.  You won’t be ready to give up. And I applaud you for your commitment to keep plugging away.  In fact, I advocate that you should turn over every rock before calling an end to your efforts to win her back.

But there comes a time for us all to pull back.  You don’t have to completely erase her from your life.  But if your LDR girlfriend has been ghosting you now for a week or more, then it may be time for you to implement your own form of No Contact.  And that strategy also involves other priorities, namely taking care of “self” and dealing with the emotional hardship of being treated like you are not worthy of her attention.

8. Make A Trip To Visit Your Long Distance Girlfriend….last ditched effort

There may come a time after you have shown patience and tried various ways to contact her and even after implementing No Contact, that it may become necessary to try something a bit more daring. Now let me warn you upfront that going out to where your girlfriend lives and seeking to meet up is filled with risks.

I usually advise my clients that if they resort to his method that they use some psychology.  Just before leaving to go visit her, you send her a text or some communication that you are coming to visit her as you are concerned for her safety.  Now that approach sometimes gets them responding, which is really what you are initially trying to accomplish.

But if it doesn’t, so be it.  You gave her fair warning, so under that pretense you embark on your trip to go visit her.  Perhaps it’s all a  test to see if you will resort to actually driving for flying out to see her unplanned.  If it is, then you will pass the test. If it isn’t then you will either be able to connect with her to explore what is going on in her mind or you will strike out if she refused to see you.

9. Participate in Recovery Activities

There are lots of guys who are in long distance relationships and for one reason or another, the whole thing implodes.  No one wants this to happen, but it does happen and you have to accept that as a possibility.

So don’t lose sight of the importance of taking time to heal.  It also helps to work on being a better “you”.  That sort of thing can get noticed by your girlfriend and possibly change her outlook.  But more importantly, do it for yourself.

10. Join Private Facebook Support Group

This last suggestion is also along the lines of getting the necessary support to help you through the breakup you may be facing.  Why should you be alone in this matter.  Why not join up with like minded people and share ideas and views about long distance relationships and the things others have done to improve their situation.

It so happens that a few years ago, I started a Private Facebook Support Group whose aim is to help those facing a wide range of breakup situations.  It proves these individuals with a place to gather and exchange thoughts and also watch a weekly live webcast from me on various breakup topics.	

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