My Ex Girlfriend Says She Wants To Hang Out… What Now?

Hey guys…I have an interesting one for you today!

I suggest you dive into this post, because there is a better than average chance you might just find yourself in the situation in which you hear from your ex-girlfriend and she tells you she wants to “hang out“.

So what the heck does that mean, anyway?

I promise we will get into that.

I just want you to understand something.

If this ever happens to you, it could get a little weird.

For starters, you are going to have a ton of thoughts running through your mind as soon as you hear those words, “hang out”

hang out

But let’s make something clear just to make sure there is no misunderstanding.

You see, when it comes to the wild and crazy world of ex-girlfriend break-ups, there are tons of special situations they can crop up.

It is confusing enough when you are grappling with your feelings over the whole ex gf break up mess.  So I don’t want to compound things more.

So, let me start by telling you what this post is NOT about!

We are not talking about your ex girlfriend hanging out with an old flame.

No, that is not what this is about.

Though, that is a special situation that I should get into because it does happen and when you find out about it, it can tear a hole right through your heart.

Look, I am sorry to digress and I promise that we will get into the “ex girlfriend wants to hang out” situation, but let me tell you something quickly, just in case you ever have to deal with this “old flame” matter.

If you should ever encounter a situation in which your Ex “hangs” with an old flame, just know that the vast majority of these “old flames” are appropriately named.

They flamed out once and guess what?

They will likely flame out again.

So, if your ex girlfriend is reportedly hanging out with an old boyfriend, I want you to realize that your odds just improved.

In time, she will discover that spending time with her old flame is not anywhere as fulfilling as the great times she had with you, before the break up.

Ok… so let’s get back on topic.

And by the way, I am really sorry for getting off track.

You see, every day, I coach and consult with a lot of guys and I see a bunch of different situations.

And when I latch onto something that is relevant and could prove helpful, even if it is somewhat off topic, I like to get it out there for you to think about.

Oops…I did it again!

Ok…. ready, set, go!

So, let’s dissect this special “hang out” situation and the best way of doing that is to break it down into its key parts:

Hence, in reading this post you will learn about:

  1. What are the Circumstances in Which the “Hanging Out” Situation Happened
  2. Why Does my Ex Want To Hang Around With Me?
  3. What Does It Mean When She Says “Let’s Hang Out”?
  4. What  is the Upside and Downside of Hanging With Your Former Girlfriend?
  5. What Should be Your Game Plan for This Special Situation?

What are the Circumstances That Brought This About?

happening

Ok now, if this just happened or is happening now, I want you to slow down and try not to get too excited.

There are several ways this Hanging Out situation could have evolved.

If you are going to survive in this post relationship period, you better learn all about what might have brought on this development.

Let me just say, that whatever the catalyst, it could be good…it could be bad….it could be neutral.

Ok…. I forgot one.  It could be ugly…really ugly.

So my mission is to help you become wiser in the ways in which your ex-girlfriend could be thinking.

And trust me Kemosabe….

kemosabe

you don’t want to walk into the arena completely blind to what your ex girlfriend may have in store for you.

Let me go over a few of these.

My Ex Girlfriend Must Have Amnesia!

forget

I have seen a lot of cases where the ex-girlfriend triggers a break up, then after a few weeks you hear back from her.

It could be an email, text, or phone call that you receive from her, but suddenly the break up seems to have mysteriously healed.

She may exhibit an attitude that everything is just fine.

She might act like nothing ever happened…..like the whole break up thing was a mirage….a dream (i.e. or nightmare for you).

One day you are feeling down and out without any hope of ever seeing your ex girlfriend again.

Then the next day you get a text out of the blue in which she seems bubbly and chipper and wants to just “hang out“, like nothing is absolutely wrong.

It can be one of the most perplexing encounters you will experience with your ex girlfriend.

But in reality, this type of reaction from women is not uncommon.

All of us wake up every day and delude ourselves about something.

I know…. I hate to admit it too.  But it is true.

Now I would agree if your ex gf is acting this way, she indeed is acting upon a pretty big delusion.

But sometimes, it is far easier for her to emotionally pretend or delude herself, then to face the real music.

That is one way this “Hanging Out” situation can gain life.

The Relationship Gods Have Intervened!

god

Another scenario I have seen played out is where you unexpectedly run into your ex girlfriend someplace.

It could be anywhere.

It is like the Relationship Gods just threw the two of you together, just like it was meant to be.

You might be smack in the middle of the No Contact Period, still trying to pick up the pieces of your failed relationship.

Perhaps you decide to go to Walmart or someplace to pick up an item and “BOOM”, there she is!

Your ex-girlfriend is standing in line to buy something.

She sees you and comes over to strike a conversation.

And before you know it, she is inviting you to a friend’s party and wants you to come along to hang out.

On one hand, you might be thinking, “the heavens have opened up and I am the luckiest man in the world“.

But then this other thought starts sneaking into your brain.

You may start wondering if you should break off the No Contact Period to spend time with her.

I had a client in which this sort of thing happened.

In his case, it had only been two weeks since he and his girlfriend had gone through a horrible break up.

She had told him it was “completely over” and that she needed to to “break away“.

He was shopping at the mall when he ran into his former girlfriend and he described it as one of the most bewildering experiences he ever had.

She came upon him, accompanied with her best friend, and when she saw him, she made a beeline straight to him.

He explained that at first, he thought she was going to slap him or hurl a few choice insults.

But she treated him like gold.

It was as if they had never fought.  He was prepared to be treated like he had the plague, but he explained that she seemed thrilled to see him.

You can imagine his confusion when she later invited him to spend the rest of the day with her (and her friend).

So weird stuff can happen!

But to be clear, god has nothing to do with it.

Not unless you count the God of Randomness.

Just because you and your ex run into each other, does not mean it was meant to be.

We will discuss later how you might handle such a situation.

Anyway, let’s get back to my client who ran into his ex at the Mall.

He said he felt like he was in one of those movies, like “Invasion of the Body Snatchers”.

body snatchers

It seemed that his ex-girlfriend was an entirely different person and that none of the recent troubles that created the break up, even seemed to matter.

Yep…sometimes you don’t no whether you should count your lucky stars that you stumbled into your ex girlfriend or run for cover in case it is some kind of trick.

I Will If You Will

pinecone

Then there is the situation where somehow the two of you are texting each other and the topic of “just hanging out together” surfaces.

It could have come up very innocently or it may have been an accidental slip of the tongue.

Maybe it was a Freudian slip.

Whatever caused the raising of the topic,  your ex girlfriend may push it out there in a very subtle, non-committal way.

It may come off as if she is testing the waters.

But in this case, since she is not advocating the idea forcefully, she throws out the notion with a caveat.

It could be something like, “hey, if you want to (“hang out”), I wouldn’t mind.”

Your ex girlfriend might shrug it off as not being that big a deal as she tries to downplay the idea, while at the same time gently exploring it with you.

Trust me Dude…no matter how nonchalant she puts it out there, she probably really wants to be with you.

This could be a good thing.  We will discuss this more later.

Let Just Try It To See If We Like It

bold strategy

Then we have the “hanging together” suggestion which your ex girlfriend will advance under the pretense that it might be a good idea or it could be a bad idea, but let’s give it a try to see if it works.

In your mind, you may be wondering whether she is really serious about the idea because the suggestion is usually veiled in language that causes you to question just how motivated she is about the idea.

Just the very way it is proposed could make you hesitant to risk the emotional investment of just “trying things out“.

It is like a limp warm rag.

On one hand, you may be secretly relieved that she wants to spend some time with you.

So you may in some ways, start warming up to the idea.

But since it is presented to you in a “qualified” manner, you may also be flooded with anxiety as to whether this “experiment” will work.

Your Ex Girlfriend is Testing You

test

Sometimes you may find yourself in a situation in which your ex girlfriend is suggesting that the two of you hang out, but what she actually has in mind is to put things to a test.

When you learn of her willingness to “hang”, it usually is not a case in which she has bad intentions.

It is much more likely she is trying to get in touch with her feelings.

She may also be trying to gauge your feelings about the relationship going forward.

Usually, it is both.

It is not unusual for your ex gf to internalize her feelings to such an extent that she can get confused about what she really wants.

You see, the thoughts your ex girlfriend may be having can ping pong all over the place.

Hence, it could be a case where your ex is looking for additional input to reconcile two competing thoughts.

One part of her could be leaning toward the notion that it would be a mistake to get back with you.

Another part of her psyche could be concerned about “losing you forever”.  

So, your girlfriend could be waging an emotional showdown within herself.

Think of it as the ultimate internal lover’s battle.

How is this battle resolved?

Well, she has to test her hypothesis about getting back together with you.

So bingo…we have the genesis of how this all came down.

Your Ex Girlfriend is Bored and Lonely

bored

In coaching couples who have experienced a serious falling out, I see all kinds of post breakup reactions.

I once had a client’s whose ex was so bored from the relentless days of No Contact that she just couldn’t help herself and actually went over to his place and knocked on his window.

Then she texted him saying, “hey, I am outside, let’s just goof around“.

Boredom can slowly act on your ex’s recovery defenses as time goes by.

Breaking up with a person usually causes a flood of emotions in the beginning.

The worst of these emotions are usually anger and resentment.

But after some time, the anger subsides and loneliness sets in.

You see, before things turned sour, you and your ex may have done practically everything together.

When that is taken away, it can be a big adjustment.

So you have to consider the possibility that an invitation from your ex to hang with you may very well be your ex gf trying to fill the void.

She Wants Sex

sup guys

Sometimes, your ex’s motivation to be with you is strictly for sex.

I know sounds far fetched if you have never been in this situation, but I have seen this happen numerous times with clients.

A guy break ups with his girlfriend and then completely to his astonishment, the former girlfriend finds a way into his bedroom.

I have seen lot of guys who just melted when that opportunity presented itself and figured that all was forgiven and things were getting back on track.

Then later, after the act, they would tell me how flabbergasted they felt when they discovered that their ex girlfriend was still reluctant to forgive and forget or make another go of the relationship.

I know it sounds twisted, but sexual gratification can move a couple, even when they are dealing with serious relationship issues.

It happens.  It as if there is a temporary suspension of common sense.

Poof….. it is gone!

Then as quickly, reality comes crashing back down

Your Ex Girlfriend is Thinking She is Going To Teach You a Lesson

life

I hope you are never in a situation in which your ex girlfriend is so angry at you, that she fools you into thinking she want to hang out with you.

This does not happen often, but anger and resentment over past relationship misdeeds can foster a strong desire to “get back at you“.

And what better way to get back at you than to pretend that all is forgiven.

When the invitation to hang around with you is extended, you may be giddy with excitement and relieved that all of the fuss and fight is finally over.

I think of this as the “case of the She Devil“.

devil

It is rare that this sort of thing happens, but when it does, it feels like you have been punched in the stomach.

There are different versions of this dastardly deed!

She might just reach out to you and set up a time and place for a meeting.  You arrive, but she never shows.

You are left wondering, “did I get the time right or did she forget or did she really stand me up”.

If you text her later and don’t hear back, you can be assured you got “played”.

Then we have the evil doer!

This is when your ex girlfriend decides she is going to “really” get back at you.

It is similar to the first example, except in this case she shows up with another guy, waves at you, and walks off.

Now, that is pretty, nasty mean.

This sort of ploy happen rarely, but if anyone should ever pull such an act on you, I want you to smile…. tell her she looks beautiful and wish them well, emphasizing you “really mean it”.

Sell it big time.

Then write her a letter.

That’s right.  Write an old fashioned letter.  Tell her you are happy for her and wish her a “wonderful life” with her new guy.

Keep it short.  Put a stamp on it and mail it immediately.

A she devil or “evil doer” is a rare creature.

Such a creature thrives on seeing you get upset.

The best way to de-fang the “she devil” is not to give them want they want.

Why Does My Ex Girlfriend Wish to Hang Out With Me?

hang out

Have you ever heard of the term “different strokes for different folks”.

Well, ex-girlfriends can have a number of underlying reasons why they want to hang out with you that range from specific emotional triggers and even a biological need.

Does she just want to spend some time with you for fun?

Is it that your ex girlfriend desires to experiment to see if she still like you?

Or is it that she is lonely and had a weak moment?

Perhaps she is curious to see how you will react.

Maybe she is finally moving forward and wants you to join her and resume the relationship.

It could be any of these things.

Or it could be a combination of some of these things.

Here is a list of some of the motivations woman have that drive them to want to “hang” with you following the break up.

  • Your ex gf could really be hurting inside and feels damaged.  In such cases she needs you to help with her own self healing.
  • She might be very confused about what she wants and is trying to sort through her feelings.  Be spending time with you, she hopes that experience will help her with how to go forward.
  • Your ex girlfriend may be immature or exhibit a high degree of flightiness. A break up can cause tremendous emotional upheaval and compound her immature reactions.  So it is very possible that one day, she may really want to hang out.  But the next day, she may feel depressed and not want to be near you at all.
  • It is common for an ex girlfriend going through the post break up phase to still be very vulnerable. She may feel desperate to be with you and feel compelled to cling to you.
  • It could be a mistake. Your ex-girlfriend may have had good intentions to hang out with you, but then later after reflecting more, realizes it would not be a good idea.
  • As mentioned earlier, your ex girlfriend could be horny.  It could be as plain and simple as that.  But don’t confuse her sexual attraction for you with a repaired relationship.

What Does It Mean When She Says “Let’s Hang Out

mean

Before we continue, let’s make sure we are reading off the same sheet of music.

When your ex girlfriend says, “let’s hang out“, what does that phrase really mean?

Does she mean she wants to have “friends with benefits?

Well that may take a little explaining too.

Normally, when that phrase (i.e. “friends with benefits”) is used, it is meant to convey that two people who like each other, also agree to have sex.

But in the case of “friends with benefits”,  neither of them desire to have a full time, committed relationship.

Now, it is possible that a couple break ups and then later runs into each other and agrees to have sex.

In this scenario, a good deal of time may have already passed since the break up and each individual decided to go their own way and remain friends.

But as fate would have it, they ran into each other and agreed to hang out for the day and that leads to a “friends with benefit” situation.

So let me muddy the waters so more!

Sometimes we have these situations where a couple has recently broken up.

Both are still dealing with the pain of the break up.  Neither are sure what the future holds for them as “a couple”.

But as a trial measure, they agree to “hang out”.

They are friendly to each other and they are getting along pretty well.

In fact, they are getting along so well, that they end up having a little “Friends With Benefits” action.

But once the “act” is all over with and the day is “buttoned up”, they may still be unsure whether they should resume a serious relationship.

This stuff can get complicated!

Let me just say that in most cases, the phrase, “let’s hang out“,  simply refers to spending time together for mutual fulfilment (without the sex).

I think you are starting to see that an offer to get together can lead to many paths.

It can start off as an invitation to “hang out” (whatever the motivation is).

It may have been born from a notion of let’s just have an easygoing time together without any expectations.

But then things can take a turn and suddenly sexual feelings can enter the picture.

I realize all of this can be a bit confusing.

It seems there is all kinds of language we sometimes use to describe our interactions with our former lover.

Just know that “Hanging Out” can morph into “Hooking Up” and vice versa.

The Game Plan!

Screen Shot 2015-12-03 at 3.34.17 PM

Don’t you just hate it when you ask a question and the person you expect to advise you says, “It depends”.

I am not going to do that.

Well, Ok, let me expand on that!

I have found a way, not to do that.

Hang in there…you will see where I am going with this!

I am going to walk you through a multi-faceted game plan you can put into place if you get an invitation to “hang out“.

Generally, after a breakup, it is in everybody’s best interest to cool it for awhile.

So let’s say your ex girlfriend sends you a text just days after the break up.  She want to hang out.

What do you do?

It is simple.  It is too soon for anything like that.  For God’s sake, you guys just broke up!

So stick to your guns and do not violate the No Contact Rule

Ok, so that I don’t violate my “It depends” rule, I have to frame another question so that I can answer it properly, because it is a somewhat different answer.

Pretty sneaky of me, don’t you think?

So what if you guys broke up, but it was a mild separation.

Let’s say it’s the first time you and your girlfriend really ever got to this place in your relationship in which you both agreed to take a little time-out from each other.

Now, both of you are probably feeling bruised, but I would classify this kind of breakup as much less serious than your typical breakup.

So once again, let’s say your ex gf reaches out and says let’s just hang out and get things patched up.

Well my friend, unless you are some kind of hard headed, masochist, then you will definitely take her up on that offer.

Look, you guys just probably got sidetracked a bit and if you shoot down her proposal, then guess what?

You will really be in the shit can.

Seriously...

So go “hang” with her and have some fun and make up.

Ok, so now I have yet another situation.

Let’s say the break up was quite serious.

Let’s also assume that you are two weeks into your No Contact Period.

I also want you to assume that the relationship has been going on for a few years.  So you guys have a pretty decent amount of time invested into each other.

Now, what do you do if you ex hints at wanting to hang around with you for a little while.

To add further to the complexity, let’s say she suggests neither of you should talk about relationship stuff.

Now normally, I would advocate sticking with your 21 or 30 day No Contact Period.

But this proposal, coming from your ex girlfriend, is both interesting and reasonable and might just provide an avenue for the two of you to mend your broken hearts.

I particularly like her suggestion of steering away from “relationship talk” because that could be a potential flash point.

So, Yes….definitely yes….I would take her up on that offer to “hang”.

Now those are just three scenarios.

As you well know, there are many ways these things can play out.

So you will have to use some good common sense to avoid the pitfalls (i.e. I described several of these earlier).

I know…..it is a fine line to walk in trying to figure out what is your best interest and the best interest of the “relationship” going forward.

But consider yourself more educated and prepared now.

If you do decide to break off the “No Contact Period” to hang out with your ex-girlfriend and it does NOT work out…..

Hey….no worries.

Odds are that it probably didn’t make things worse.

I mean, you guys already broke up, so you don’t have much to lose.

I will leave you with these two, well traveled thoughts that sort of describe your predicament and how to act.

Absence, does indeed make the heart grow fonder.

So he who seeks to dare, can find blessings.

		

Written by EGR team mate

Chris Seiter

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64 Comments on "My Ex Girlfriend Says She Wants To Hang Out… What Now?"

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mattipar
Guest
So my bf and I broke up semi mutually 2 weeks ago. We both realized that maybe it’s not working out but we still talk 2-3x week and have good conversations on what we need to improve ourselves and move forward. We have more of a long term friendship in mind and would like to remain very close friends. I on the other hand never really wanted to break up and now I want him back. I suggested we start hanging out again in person to see if it’s possible. We went for movie and dinner the first weekend and… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Mattipar,

do you want to try the nc rule? If you want, Chris does coaching calls. If this the email you want him to send the quote to, just say it and I’ll forward it to him.

Terrence Holmes
Guest
So me and this girl have been dating for almost 5 years. Started when we were seniors in high school. She recently broke up with me and told me she needed space and time to feel independent and also felt like I was pressuring her. I took it really hard and was quite upset about the whole manner. Told her if she got in the car and left I was done. Within the last week I have had a lot of time for self reflection and a lot of things about myself that I was too embarrassed to admit such… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Terrence,

Are you in nc now?

Terrence
Guest
Yes I am in no contact. We ended up talking I believe two more times in person. And the last time we talked she opened up about having sex with that guy after we broke it off and she felt bad about it. I genuinely forgave her because she’s going through a lot. She’s started drinking a lot lately as well. We had break up sex last Wednesday and I wished her a happy birthday about a week later but I haven’t talked to her or plan on it. I feel like I’ve done everything there is to do. She… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

That means if you still want a shot, start the count of nc in the first day that you stopped initiating,replyinga and commenting back if she comments in your posts..That means after you greeted her and focus in improving yourself and be active in posting

aj
Guest

was with this whole post. good stuff. but the “i so confuse” with jackie chan is just casual racism. not a fan, dude.

Jeb
Guest
Hello, I successfully made it through the NC period (37) days. Reached out with a pic/text that played on her emotions regarding her dog as she loves her dog more than anything. I spaced out my texts and gradually we started texting more regularly. We’d been texting for about 3 weeks and she invited me to the Amusement park with her niece and nephew let week. I agreed and had a great (but long) day. We got along well and things seemed totally normal. She was playful and would rest her head on me while waiting in line, or put… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

HI Jeb,

you’re doing great.. continue on with your life.. don’t ask her yet if she wants to be back together but you can proceed to calls to build more rapport.

Daniel Eliel
Guest
Ok so i need to give a little back story to explain the full situatioin. So me and my ex before she was my ex about a year and a half ago had a connection and she said that she wanted to be with me but i rejected her. I wasnt ready for a relationship at that time. She ended up dating some disrespectful douchebag. But i didnt say anything and we sort of drifted apart. A year had gone by and they were still together he had blindsided her with the words i love you he still treated her… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Daniel,
go and have a sincere but calm talk on what she really feels

Daniel
Guest
Ok so i need to give a little back story to explain the full situatioin. So me and my ex before she was my ex about a year and a half ago had a connection and she said that she wanted to be with me but i rejected her. I wasnt ready for a relationship at that time. She ended up dating some disrespectful douchebag. But i didnt say anything and we sort of drifted apart. A year had gone by and they were still together he had blindsided her with the words i love you he still treated her… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Daniel,

go and have a sincere but calm talk on what she really feels

Hunter
Guest
Hey guys so I just went of a first lunch date with my ex girlfriend since the breakup. She reminded me when I asked her to go that we were just friends and that she doesn’t want to lead me on or anything. I said that I didn’t want to go if she was talking to someone else and she just said yes I will go to lunch but she didn’t say yes or no if she was really talking to someone. Never less, We went to lunch and it went well. We talked about what we have been up… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Hunter,

sorry for the late reply.. you need to keep building rapport and attraction even if she said she just wants to be friends..

Hunter
Guest

Should I text her first or just wait for her to ask me on the date?

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

you can ask her that. It’s better if that’s the past the calls stage,because then you’ve build more rapport.

Matt
Guest
So my ex and I broke up around 8-9 months ago, we never talked/texted each other. Earlier this year at the beginning of January she texts me out of the blue and says hi and that she went by my work and was camping. I didn’t really think much of it. Then at the beginning of February, she texts me again saying saying hi asking me how work was and taking about her collage classes and saying shes stressed out about school stuff. 2 months later the beginning of this month, she texts me and saying hi again and whats… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Matt,

to be safe, let’s assume she just wants to be friends, do you want to get back with her?

Matt
Guest

Well, that i’m not sure about, I’ve just kind of been going with the flow of life, I mean if she wants to get back with me then i’d rather have her talk to her parents, her friends and my friends about discussion and see if she is willing to try to prove to me that she wants me back

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

well then that’s the answer.. let her prove it before jumping into conclusion so that things won’t get awkward around each other.. but mostly you would notice it because if she wants you back, she’ll show more signs.

confuedaf
Guest
I broke up with my ex of 1 year 2 weeks ago, we both fell out of love, so we decided it was the right thing to do. She said she wanted to be friends, but I always disappear after break up, so there was no contact. 3 days after the broke up, I found out she was hurting herself again (she has self-harm history, only stopped when we were together), I reached out to her, she was really happy to see me. I told her I was worried and wanted her to be happy, and that’s all. I’d give… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi,

she needs to be in professional help.. are you planning to do nc?

Dave
Guest
HI Chris and Amor I bought your texting guide and it worked a treat in getting back into contact with my ex! (She split up with me about two and a half months ago). She texted me like normal for about 6 weeks after the breakup, but a week before valentines day she started to reply with one or two worded responses and become really narky or really sarcastic with her replies, either by text or when i saw her at the gym,s o i decided to go into 21 NC and bought your texting guide. She texted me when… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Dave,
sorry for the late reply..how are things now?

Not Forgotten
Guest
My girl friend of two years has dumped me so many times it like a revolving door. I do the no contact for 20 days and in two weeks shes texting and wants to hang out. Then things are good till the next time and the no contact rule goes into affect. Sure as the sun comes up she’ll text and want to hang out. Then we hang for days at a time and we go are separate ways. I would like to hang out more but that don’t happen. She messed up. She was married thirty years her ex… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Lol! It’s a cycle.. you can end the cycle if you want…Just make it longer..maybe 30 days but you can also try to talk to her instead..calmly tell what the real deal is and that you want this cycle to stop

Brooken heart
Guest
I was very fond of a great girl (I think it was the feeling was mutual) after separation (I had to wait until divorce). But my ex has begun to plague us and I tried to stop here but it took time and meanwhile I’ve always said to my boyfriend how much I liked her and really wanted to live the rest of my life with her. But this summer something happened (maybe I said something ellerhar done something but I asked her what it was and apologized but she said there was nothing) and from that time to the… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

so does she know that you want her back?

Brooken heart
Guest
Yes she knows that I love her (or want her badly) but I did not told her this time after she gave me the news. She said me that may be we meet in wrong time. As I mentioned I did contact her after almost 50 days and she told me that she has a new boyfriend and this time it feels right, one of her reason was that the new boyfriend has a daughter in similar age av her daughter. As I mentioned too her boyfriend look a like me, and same age. She said earlier that my home… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Awww..although it’s sad, I like your metaphor.. Well, you’re not crazy but you’re hopeful and it’s not bad.. Do nc more for you than her.. because that’s how it should really be done..

Brooken heart
Guest
Thanks for you take time to replay to my silly situation/questions. I noticed that she reapeted one one argument (we meet in wrong time) several times , before break up, during the break up and now in our last conversation, before break up I tried to find out why she say so and tried to show here that is not the case but during the break up and last converstion I told her that probably she is right since I do not want get into some discussion. But Why she reapet it ? Is it to convince me or her… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

It’s not silly… that’s normal
…ooops! actually I didn’t mean longer.. I meant the reason more should be for you…

Brooken heart
Guest
Thanks, I see what you mean when you say the reason should be more about me. I will do my best to not contact her despite that our companies work with each other and basicly i am the contact (thats the reason that we get know each other since 2013). I will try to limit it to the jobb related if she try to contact. I am madly love her ( sorry for sillyness, that when you love someone with your entire heart). I will wait and see what feature brings. I am not sure what I want to do… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

it depends on how long they’ve been together now… they may start as a rebound but it can progress to a serious relationship in the long run

Brooken heart
Guest
Hi, I know that it has gone almost five month since last time i wrote here. Things is somehow different now. I am not that heart broken now but still like her very much. I know that she is not in any relations since begining of April. Since that time I have seen post in here FB wall that I can related with things we did together before.. I wantet to contact hereearlier but some how I waited until last saturday night and I did send here a SMS, a simple message about I am going out with some friends… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

it was too forward… that means you have to give it time again and not ask her directly next time

Brooken heart
Guest
I believe that it was a mistake by me if I understand you last post correctly. But anyway may be i did thing more complicated further. and that is why: since I did not receive any answer from her so I did send another one the day after and in this message I told her since she did not answed so may be i did visit her (as a joke, I had no intention to do that) but suddenly she did answerd with that She has been very busy (I think it is excuse). I asked here if we can… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

If you are really sure that she’s not telling the truth.. then that just means she’s not ready to meet you and doesn’t how to say it.

Brooken heart
Guest
Thanks for your reply. May be I am crazy. Some of my friends told me to forget her. But I really like her and I belive that I want to wait some time more for her despite that I have meet some other girls and I can’t feel as content as I have been with her. Am I hopeless crazy? I want give some more time to this matter. What do you suggest? And by the way why she has to lie? I know she do not like to loose here face (I hope that you understand this expression), I… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

crazy people don’t know they’re crazy, so you’re not crazy.. but you are getting paranoid..

Brooken heart
Guest

Thanks for your honesty. I love this attitude. But why do you think that I am getting paranoid? Is that because I believe that she do not tell me truth? I really want meet her once more and that she tell me face to face that she has no feeling but she refuse to meet me. Any advise?

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

yes, and because you keep repeating in your mind what happened or might happen.. don’t force her to meet..She’ll avoid you more..

Evan
Guest
My girlfriend broke up with me around 2 months ago. We had only been together for 5 months, but we really fell in love and it got pretty serious fast. I’m not the kind of person who just falls in love like that with just anyone and it really took me and her by surprise, because neither of us were really looking to find anything serious. I’ve had 2 relationships that lasted nearly 5 years each and I’ve never felt that same way with anyone else. Well, she was going through some things at work, and was having some problems… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Evan,

Which is stopping you? Pride or standards?

Evan
Guest

Pride… And the fact I don’t know what to say really. I talked to her today, and I think we can slowly work things out, I just need to be careful

David
Guest

She has said that she does want to waste my time when she don’t think it will work. She said that she just can’t do commitment right now. The last relationship ended so badly that she’s not ready for another long term one.

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

So, use this time to make good memories. You don’t have to be girlfriend-boyfriend to make her feel special, that can b even make b her fall for you then make her want to commit

David
Guest
My girlfriend broke up with me after going out 3 months unofficially, 2months officially. She said she was unsure if we work well as a couple and that she was under alot of stress from her work and masters degree, so she didn’t want to unload her bad emotions on to me. After a week after the breakup she messaged me saying that she misses hanging out with me, a week later we we shopping, walked in a park and watch a film together. I basically spent 6 hours with her. During that time she gave me hugs and placed… Read more »
Jennifer Seiter
Editor
It sounds like she was missing the feeling she got when she was in a relationship with you. It’s a very good sign. You should have cut the date down to a max of 2 hours (preferably 1 hour) to leave her wanting more. 6 hours for a first date is a bit long. Going forward leave her wanting more but in a REALLY nice way. You don’t want her to be discouraged. Cut dates short by making plans with family right after or make sure you have work to do. She will understand those two things because she sounds… Read more »
LT
Guest
Hi Chris, Me and my now ex just broke up about a week ago. We had been together 5, almost 6 years and were kind of long distance (a couple hours apart). She broke up with me because we had grown apart and fallen out of love. But she wants to remain friends. So the same night we broke up, after I finished crying and telling her I want her back, we went to my house and watched a movie as friends. Then we were hanging out the next couple of days (since she was in town) as friends and… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Lt,

You have to distance yourself if you two broke up because from what’s going on, it looks like she just wants to keep you within reach but have put you in the friend zone. You also became too approving of her. You need to show you have standards too, because as of now it looks like she knows you’re just there, always. Whatever she does. Make her miss you

PDT
Guest
Hey Chris Thanks for another great guide. I wanted to ask for your opinion on my situation with my ex-girlfriend. My ex and I live in the same dorm and were dating for two years before we broke up about four months ago. Over the next couple of months we barely had any contact. We were both busy with school, and it felt awkward to be in the same room as her. So we mostly spent time away from each other. However, since the beginning of december we have started talking again. We’ll sit in our common kitchen and talk,… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hey PDt,

Yes, I think you have a shot. 🙂 Keep going at those little moments you’re having.

donald
Guest
Hello, My girlfriend dumped me and I begged her for one and half month, after that I went in no contact. After a brief no contact she reaches out and tells me that she will be in town and I said thanks for letting me know. Then she posted on facebook that If anyone wants to go and watch a show . she again reached out me talking random stuff and then she said if I promise that what happened at coffee shop will not happen again. I told her not to bring past its un healthy and yes it… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Donald,

She’s initiating and trying to reconnect. Accept the opportunity whenever she does that

Drake
Guest

You should write a whole article about her and getting back with an old flame!

Anmol
Guest
Hi Chris, I would really like to thank you first of all for all these articles. Now the problem that we had was in the past four months we both have had been having several fights and arguments over small issues and though we end them soon but i never cared to know if she is fine or not and mostly she tried to apologize and give things some air. She broke up with me two weeks back and that too over another argument but she says everything has summed up and she can’t stay anymore. I had been on… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Anmol,

Since you go in the same college, you just don’t talk to her when not needed. As much as possible lessen the chances that you would bump into each other. If you will, act casual, smile briefly but walk away.

Josh
Guest
Hi Chris, so me and my girlfriend dated for 2 years, and we’re best friends for a year before that, she broke up with me three months ago because when we argued I would lose my temper sometimes and she didn’t like it, last time I tried talking to her was October 30th, and she gave me 2 one word text responses then tweeted saying “I don’t need you anymore”, this last week and a half I’ve seen her 3 times(for the first time in 2 months) and she has cried everytime she has seen me and tweeted “my heart… Read more »
Gregory
Guest
Hi Chris This literally just happened to me last weekend! My ex had ignored me for 3 weeks and suddenly she texted asking if I’m home and 5 minutes later began phoning me. She came over with a bottle of wine and she seemed to be totally fine like you say in your article. She basically spent an hour talking about her new life and that she wants to have peace between us and be friends. But she also said it is sort of a goodbye and that’s where she got teary eyed after being perky and upbeat. Since then… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Gregory,

Have you reconnected with her again?

Brandon
Guest
So my ex broke it off with me 2 months ago. In the relationship I was very complacent and non-attentive. She asked me to work on tat a few times and I got a little annoyed every time she asked me for more effort. She eventually just thought I would never change and broke up with me. We continued to act as if we were together for the following 2 weeks. She then said she could not go on acting like everything was ok and asked to cut off contact. I made a few mistakes (no begging or anything wierd).… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Brandon,

Are in contact now?