By Chris Seiter

Updated on July 9th, 2022

You are probably wondering what is the secret to getting your ex girlfriend to talk to you again.

Chances are that things have gone haywire.  Communications between you and your ex girlfriend may be at an all time low.

What you need is an Ex Recovery Plan on how to get back together.  But you are probably wondering how do you pull that off if your ex girlfriend won’t even talk to you.

Well, over the next few minutes I am going to provide to you some tips that are designed to get your ex girlfriend talking to you once again.

Just getting her to open up and listen to what you have to say would be a huge step in the right direction.  Right?

It sounds easy.  But as you probably have come to learn, getting past your ex’s thick skin such that she will answer your texts or phone calls can be a huge challenge just in itself.

When and How To Talk To Your Ex GF and When Not To

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So let me break down for you, step by step, what usually works to get her to a place where she is willing to entertain a conversation of any type.

That’s a start right?

But don’t sell yourself short.  Chances are that unless things are really mucked up, you have a better than average chance of convincing your ex girlfriend that you are worth it – that she should not just consider getting back together with you but should pour her energy into salvaging the breakup.

There is a timing and strategy you should employ.

Let me show you the way.

A 7 Step Plan On What To Say To Your Ex Girlfriend To Get Her Talking To You Again

talking and standing together

Face it, you probably need some help.

When you can’t get your ex girlfriend to even respond and you find yourself obsessively sending her text after text and she keeps insisting she doesn’t want to talk to you and insists you should stop bothering her, you are in a bad spot.

Something has to change.

So what can you do to turn this communications dead end around?

Step 1: First You Should Stop Trying to Talk To Her Right After the Breakup

One of the most common problems guys make when trying to get their ex girlfriend back is to try to talk her back into the relationship.

I call it the ex back con.  If someone tells you they have some secret words that you can lay down on her which will immediately turn it all around – well they are probably conning you.

The problem is that more you talk – the more you say – the more she will want to pull away.

So in order to create an opportunity for you to be able to talk and engage with your ex girlfriend in the future, you need to learn to shut it down for awhile.

Just leave her be.

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Don’t immediately reach out begging for forgiveness – don’t send her a volley of texts –  and don’t call her trying to sweet talk her back.  More often than not, all of theses approaches will backfire.

Step 2: Resist The Temptations to Reach Out To Her Even in the Most Innocuous or Innocent Ways

Everything in you will want to get the dialogue going with her again.

You will make up a thousand reasons that seemingly justifies why you should start texting her or getting some kind of conversation going.

You are better off if you jettison any notions that you have as being the golden voice.  Remember, getting her to forget and forgive your transgressions is not going to happen overnight.

It seldom works that way. So fight off the temptations to chat it up with her to instantly win her back.

Step 3: Invest In Yourself While Also Rebuilding Value in Her Eyes

So while you are hunkering down, resisting any impulses to contact her too soon, spend some quality time on becoming the best version of yourself.

She will likely notice any and all changes in your life and if the way that you come across is consistent with someone gaining more value, prestige, likability, and all of the rest of the positive attributes you can bring about, then it will serve you in the future.

Just respecting her space and leaving her be will be a step in the right direction from her perspective.

Step 4. Talk To Your Ex Girlfriend Without Her Realizing It

using social media

Now I told you earlier that eager beavers can find themselves in trouble.  If you talk to her too soon and in the wrong way, you could be asking for trouble.

She may become disenchanted with you because she may not be ready to be bothered.

But what if I told you there are ways to talk with her in a subtle, indirect manner.

One way of doing this is through the effective use of social mediaPictures can speak a thousand words and finding the right balance of pictures and posts with the right messaging can convey the very things you would like to say to her in person.

Also, you can make use of your friends network to keep the communication lines open, without you speaking to her directly.  There is a strategy in how you can pull this off too, without it becoming heavy handed.  I go into in greater detail in my epic eBook, “Ex Girlfriend Recovery Pro”.

Step 5. When It’s Time To Talk Be Sure To Say the Right Things to Your Ex in the Right Way.

So when is the right time to start a dialogue with your ex girlfriend?

It really depends on the circumstances.  But one common denominator for most breakup situations is that dialogue with your ex should not begin until after the No Contact Period has concluded.

And when you have something to say, you need to start slow, with a precise strategy. I usually recommend starting the conversation with a well thought out text message.  I have tons of examples in an eBook I wrote called “The Texting Bible”.

Step 6. Getting Her To Reach Out Is Critical To Balancing Out the Communications

So the key to any communication is that there is a balance of talking going back and forth.  I came up with a phrase that describes how you should balance all of this out.  I call it Tide Theory.

This is why going it slow in the beginning and allowing for some positive communications to gain some traction is so key.  The worst thing you can do is spring upon her a tidal wave of texts and phone calls within a short period of time.

That kind of approach, even though it may feel good inside to get it all out, will drown out your chances.

Step 7. Seek To Continually Make Your Relationship Fit

So let say you have given your ex girlfriend some space.  Then later, using tactically clever text messages, you get the communication lines open.  Now she is talking and laughing and enjoying the attention and your new found attitude and treatment.

That is a good start, but remember that no relationship is on solid ground unless you both work at making it as fit as possible.  Knowing what to say to your ex girlfriend is just as important as knowing how to listen.

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Lastly, if you ever feel the need of some ongoing coaching on how to make all the pieces of this process come together more smoothly and effectively, feel free to explore our coaching services!	

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