What Are Your Chances of Getting Your ExGirlfriend Back?

Is Your Ex Girlfriend Thinking About You? …. Let’s Find Out!

You don’t really want know if your ex girlfriend is thinking about you, right?

I mean, I am sure you do but lets imagine that I answered your question (which I will) and that’s it.

This page would literally be one word long.

Something tells me that you wouldn’t be too appreciative of that.

That’s why this page isn’t just going to be about answering the question of if your ex girlfriend is thinking about you. It’s also going to be about HOW to get her to think about you.

Look at that!

You just hit the lottery since we are going to kill two birds with one stone here.

First things first, lets end the build up and get straight to the reason that you are here.

Before We Begin I Need To Tell You Something Important

Many men come to this website wanting to get their ex girlfriends back.

But there’s a problem with this line of thinking….

Getting an ex girlfriend back generally isn’t a simple process. It requires a lot of thought, strategy and even a little bit of luck.

The truth is that I can’t tell you everything that you absolutely need to know about getting your ex girlfriend back in this article.

For me to say that I can would be a lie.

Luckily, I have created something that can tell you just about everything you absolutely need to know to get your ex girlfriend back.

You can learn more about it by clicking the button below,

Get Relief Faster With Tactics I Can't Put on the Blog...


Is Your Ex Girlfriend Thinking About You At This Very Moment?

thinking meme

This is actually a pretty interesting question but only if you really dive in deep.

On the surface it’s easy for me to answer but that’s not the interesting part. Where things start to get interesting is when you take a look at what your ex girlfriend is thinking about you (assuming she is.)

First, lets answer if your ex girlfriend is thinking about you.

Now, the thing you have to understand about me is that I am not a bullshitter like the other people you will meet out there.

If I don’t think you have a chance of getting an ex back or if you do something wrong I will be the first to let you know about it. In addition I also don’t make outrageous claims without evidence to back it up (most of the time.)

And this is one of those situations that calls for me to have evidence to fall back on.

So, the question that you put forth is,

“Is my ex girlfriend thinking about me right now?”


My Answer = Yes… A LOT!

Lets look at what happens on a cellular level to a human brain that goes through a breakup.

What Happens To A Brain After A Breakup


Lucy Brown, Ph.D.,a Professor in the Department of Neurology at Albert Einstein College of Medicine did an interesting test that yielded some shocking results. She took 15 students from the school that had just went through a breakup, sat them down, hooked them up to an MRI machine and started studying their brain activity.

She decided that the best way to do so was to show them pictures of their exes.

You won’t believe the part of the brain that lit up when the 15 students saw the pictures.

Well, I don’t want to show off my use of $15 words here but…

There was activity in the ventral tegmental area, the nucleus accumbens and orbitofrontal/prefrontal cortex.

Ha ha ha ha…

You have no idea what that means do you?


Me either.

(I had to look it up.)

Here is what I found,

These areas are often associated with those who are going through a drug addiction. Thus, someone who is going through a breakup may be experiencing the same type of cravings (to get in touch with an ex) that a drug addict would be going through if they were going through a withdrawal period.

In other words, scientifically speaking there is a pretty good chance that your ex girlfriend is still thinking about you assuming the breakup is relatively recent.

But this probably isn’t enough for you is it?

No, you need overwhelming proof.

Ok, lets turn our attention from the brain to cold hard statistics and look at what they are saying.

What Statistics Say About An Ex Girlfriend Thinking About You

Man, there are a million different ways that I can approach this.

I think I will start with a fun statistic I found on Facebook creeping.

Now, if you aren’t aware of what “Facebook creeping” is the idea behind it is pretty darn simple.

Facebook Creeping = When you go through a breakup with an ex but keep an eye on their Facebook profile post breakup

You aren’t going to believe how many exes engage in this behavior.

Well, according to Veronika Lukacs, a University of Western Ontario graduate student, 90% of exes engage in this behavior.

Screen Shot 2016-02-08 at 3.47.21 PM

What does this mean to you?

Well, it means that there is a 90% chance that your ex girlfriend is going to stroll by your Facebook profile to “creep on it.” Now, lets do some creative thinking here.

If your ex girlfriend is going to stroll by your profile she has to be thinking about you, right?

But even I’ll admit that Facebook creeping isn’t exactly the be all end all when it comes to statistics about proving your ex girlfriend is thinking about you.

This next one might be though.

How long do you think it takes the average person to get over a breakup?

Well, a new study posted by Daily Mail says that it takes an average of 17 months to full get over a divorce.

Now, I can see that, that might be a bit of an issue for our purposes because you were never married to your ex girlfriend and marriage is a much deeper type of a commitment than simply dating someone.

HOWEVER, I still think there is some valuable insight that you can take from this study.

The Insight = Breakups Take A While To Get Over

And if your trying to get over a breakup and failing then it’s probably because you are thinking about your ex a lot.

The Verdict

So, I just dropped three HUGE statistics/facts in your lap.

Fact #1- Your exes brain is going through breakup withdrawal similar to that of a drug addict.

Statistic #1– Close to 90% of people admit to spying on their exes post breakup.

Fact #2 – It takes a long time to get over a divorce so we can assume the same could be said of a breakup.

Here is the underlying truth I am trying to throw in your face.

Your ex girlfriend is thinking about you a lot.

But like I said when I first started this article, that’s only one of the questions you want answered.

Now that you know that your ex girlfriend is thinking about you how can you kick the intensity up a notch?

How To Make You Ex Girlfriend Think About You

Take a look at the graphic I just put together for you below,

make her think about you

This graphic is meant to represent the ways in which you can make your ex girlfriend think about you. To make this as easy as possible for you I have decided to divide it up into two separate sections.

  1. The Value Chain
  2. Indirect Methods

Now, I know it may not seem like a lot but trust me when I say that everything that these two methods is comprised of is A LOT!

Lets start with the value chain.

The Value Chain


I know…

I know…

It seems that wherever you go you can’t get away from it.

But that should tell you how important this value chain is.

If you want to maximize your chances of getting your ex girlfriend back then you need a framework to work in and that is what the value chain provides for you. I can’t tell you how many time that I work with men and ask them,

“Ok, so what kind of plan do you have to get your ex girlfriend back (much less thinking about you?)

There response is usually something generic like,

“Well, I am going to follow your advice on the no contact rule and then hope for the best.”


If you are serious about this you need to have everything mapped out.


I was going to go nerdy with this analogy but upon writing I realized I might lose all credibility.


Oh what the hell…

Have you ever heard of the game called “Magic The Gathering.”

It’s a fantasy card game that has been dubbed as the “New Poker” by deadspin.

I used to be super into this game as a kid but I got out of it for maybe close to ten years. But recently I picked it back up after my wife told me that she liked the game (something I never knew about her.)

You see, I always thought hot women never liked nerdy stuff like that.

Anyways, after picking it up again I came to realize just how much strategy is involved behind this thing.

You play with a deck of 60 cards.

Which right away limits your options on what you can put in the deck. To make matters worse you are only allowed to have 4 types of one card in a deck (which again limits your options.)

So, when you construct a deck you have to think to yourself,

“Where is this deck weak?”

Because you obviously don’t want to lose.

So, what the professionals do (yes there are professionals in this game) is they map out every concievable possiblity of how the deck can lose and try to shore up the decks weaknesses as much as possible.

Well, that’s what the value chain is meant to do for you.

It’s meant to provide you with a roadmap of success.

Think of it like this,

value chain roadmap

The value chain will point you in the direction of point A and then to point B and then so on and so forth.

Now, if you are a little fuzzy on what a value chain is it’s actually quite simple. It’s used in sales to show the entire path a customer will take from when they walk in the door to where they pull out their money and purchase a product.

The idea behind it is that the customer is starting from a point where no value has been built and then the sales person has to come and move them up the value chain by providing… you guessed it, value.

In all honesty the value chain is a perfect representation of what we are trying to accomplish here since technically you are trying to “resell” yourself to your ex girlfriend.

It’s meant to guide you throughout the entire process of getting an ex back.

Now, where does making an ex girlfriend think about you fall here?

Well, it’s actually built in to the value chain. In other words, if you follow the value chain I have put together for you below you will properly maximize your chances of making your ex girlfriend think about you.

value chain roadmap

Your dying for me to break the value chain down for you, huh?

Well, I have done that on multiple occasions and have even written a book on it. So, I don’t think I’m going to go that in depth for you on the value chain right now. After all, this article isn’t meant to be about the value chain, it’s about how to maximize the chances that your ex girlfriend will think about you.

Take a look at the graphic below,

value chain roadmap

This graphic is meant to represent the mediums in which you can utilize to make your ex girlfriend think about you.

Ah sh*t… That’s all of them.

I guess I do have to through the value chain for you.

Alright, I guess we should start from the top.

Making Her Think About You During The No Contact Rule

Unless you’ve been living under a rock you probably know what the no contact rule is, right?

under a rock

Are you serious?


Fine… the no contact rule is a period of time where you ignore your ex on purpose. The idea behind implementing it is that it will give both of you time to level out emotionally and potentially make her miss you.

But how can you make her think about you during the no contact rule?

Well, there are a number of ways.

Lets start with the most obvious one.

The No Contact Rule And Reverse Psychology

You know what reverse psychology is, right?

It’s basically where you attempt to get a desired result by doing something that is the complete opposite of an action to get that desired result.

For example, if my wife came up to me right now and made a big deal about me not having enough money to buy her a present for her birthday what do you think I would do?

Well, I would go out and get her a gigantic present!

You see, she knew that I would react that way which is why she told me that I wouldn’t be able to afford to buy her a present.

She used reverse psychology to get a big present.

(Jennifer if you are reading this DO NOT DO THIS!)

Anyways, the no contact rule has ties to a couple of psychological principles that will make your ex girlfriend think about you with reverse psychology being one of those principles.

But it’s really the second psychological principle that you will want to hear about.

Psychological Reactance

Psychological reactance is a theory that essentially states that when someone loses their freedom to have something they find the thing they lost more attractive. Let’s do another example since I know how much you love those.

Lets pretend that we are talking to a male child who wants a cookie really, really badly.

We tell the him that he can’t have the cookie EVER.

What do you think that makes the him do?

It makes him want it even more to the point where he will do anything to get it.

Same principle here.

By utilizing the no contact rule you are essentially telling your ex girlfriend that she can’t have you.

The Result = She wants you more!

It’s an indirect way of making her think about you. Oh, and the coolest part is you literally don’t have to do anything.

Well, you do have to do the no contact rule but just by doing it you get this added benefit!

Pretty cool, right?

But you are looking for more indirect ways to interest your ex girlfriend, huh?

Well, with NC you definitely have a ton of time to utilize the following methods.

Indirect No Contact Actions


I made the point above that the no contact rule provides you with a huge asset,


But technically speaking time is only an asset if you use it in the correct way.

And that’s what I want to talk to you about now.

How to use the time you get with the no contact rule in the right way.

Currently on Ex Girlfriend Recovery I recommend three versions of the no contact rule,

  1. The 21 Day Rule
  2. The 30 Day Rule
  3. The 45 Day Rule

I will leave it up to Ex Girlfriend Recovery PRO to explain which rule you should use for your situation. Here’s what we need to talk about.

What indirect actions can you take during the time frame of the no contact rule to make your ex girlfriend think about you?

Lets assume that you were going to do a 30 day no contact rule.

This means that you have 30 days to every so subtly remind your ex girlfriend that you are still in existence.

Now, the no contact rule is strict in that you aren’t allowed to directly speak to your ex girlfriend so when you take that into account how can you speak to her without speaking to her. Well, you are going to have to do it through indirect ways.

Honestly there are a lot of indirect contact methods that you can utilize to continue to be on your exes radar but here are my favorite ones that I think you should definitely utilize,

  • Indirect Social Media
  • She Hears About You From HER Friends (Worth It Or Not?)
  • Jealousy (Trust Me)

Lets dig deep into each one of these indirect contact methods.

Indirect Social Media

Above I cited a study done by a graduate student that claimed that 90% of exes admitted to creeping on their exes Facebook profile.

In other words, there is a very good chance that after your breakup with your ex girlfriend she is going to be stopping by your profile at some point.

Oh, and if you aren’t friends with her on Facebook anymore don’t worry.

Women have a bigger spy network than we do so oftentimes they will enlist one of their friends to go onto your Facebook profile for you and snoop around.

Anyways, what I like to recommend for men is that they stay active on Facebook after the breakup and post very interesting things.

Now, I want to be clear that when I say interesting I don’t mean something like this,


Anyone can post a quote or a funny video.

What I mean by interesting is something directly relating to you or something you are doing.

Ok, take a look at this picture,


This is a picture that I took with my camera when I was on vacation with my family in Hawaii.

To this day that remains the most beautiful sunset I have ever seen. Also, you may notice that there is a boat in the bay there. That boat was actually capsized and washed onto shore. Oh, one final thing. You can see some figure in the water.

Those are actually children. They were playing and having a good time.

I thought this made an awesome picture so I took out my camera and snapped it.

Here is another fun picture of me in Hawaii a few days after I took the one above,

me in hawaii

Pretty cool, right?

These are the types of pictures that you need to be posting to your Facebook.

They tell an interesting story.

A story that your ex isn’t a part of. The idea is to essentially show her that you are having an incredible time without her. You want her to have this moment where she thinks to herself,

“Was I nothing to him? Was I not even worth sulking over?”

That’s the frame of mind you want her in because it’s going to position you as being more valuable to your ex girlfriend and that’s exactly where you want to be.

Lets move on to the next indirect method.

She Hears About You From HER Friends

There’s an old saying when it comes to sales.

“Friends make more sales then salesmen.”

The idea behind this phrase is simple,

Salesmen can’t be trusted but friends can.

I can’t tell you how many products that I have bought because of a recommendation of a friend.

Hell, this even works with TV shows.

I don’t watch a certain TV show because I see commercials for them. I usually wait for a recommendation before I get into one. For example, my dad recommended this new TV show to me called Fargo and it was great!

I had seen previews for it everywhere but I didn’t watch it until it was recommended to me by a trusted source.

And therein lies my next point about your ex.

Some men get the idea of contacting their exes through their own friends during the no contact rule.

This is a mistake because your ex girlfriend is going to be on red alert against them and question their allegiance (and rightfully so.) If anything, you want her own friends telling her about you because they are trusted sources.

Now, this can either work in your favor or against you depending on what message they deliver.

Let me give you an example.

Lets say that your ex girlfriend has a best friend named Gina and Gina always hated you.

So, after your breakup Gina is making up false things about you to further remove you from the equation.

Do you see how this is a problem.

Now, lets look at the flip side and assume that Gina really liked you and didn’t have anything mean to say about you at all. Instead, she would often point out to your ex that you were a caring and kind boyfriend.

All of a sudden Gina is your biggest supporter.

But having a friend of your exes control the message is a little too risky in my opinion which is why I am not going to recommend that you use some of my more controversial methods to try to manipulate the friend.

All in all, I think there is enough evidence to back up the fact that your ex girlfriend is going to be thinking about you no matter what her friends say or do not say.

In other words, don’t try to use your friends or your exes friends to get a message through.

Got it?


Now I would like to cover without a doubt the most successful indirect method.

Using Jealousy To Your Advantage

Jealousy is an interesting emotion.

If you really boil it down to it’s simplest form it’s an emotion of flattery.

Let me give you an example,

Lets pretend that you and your ex girlfriend are still dating and she sees another girl hitting on you. Upon seeing this she gets really jealous.

She’s angry at you for letting the girl flirt with you…

She’s angry at the girl for flirting with you…

She’s just upset in general about the whole thing.

Now, some men look at this reaction and have their feelings hurt.

But they aren’t looking deep enough.

What’s really happening is that your ex girlfriend’s body is telling her that she can’t imagine another girl with you ever.

Like I said, jealousy is really a form of flattery and we are going to utilize this in an indirect way.

What I say next may be a little controversial but I want you to go on a date.

Not a date-date.

A friend date.

What’s a friend date?

It’s a date that you go on with one of your friends of the opposite sex to just have fun somewhere.

During this friend date I want you to take a picture with the friend and post it onto Facebook.

Like this,


(This is a picture of my wife and I before we were even dating)

Now, there are a few things I want to point out using this picture.

If you didn’t know that I married this girl you probably wouldn’t be able to tell if we were dating or not.

Yes, our heads are almost touching but we aren’t kissing or hugging.

We are just taking a picture.

But still… there looks like there is potential to be something there.

That’s the idea that you want your ex girlfriend to have when she looks at you taking a picture with another girl.

Oh, and here is a general rule of thumb that is good to go by.

The prettier the girl… the more the jealousy.

So, make sure you pick a pretty friend to go out on a “friend date” with.

Making Her Think About You During Texting, Calls & Dates

I just realized that this post is getting very long.

Hope you aren’t too bored with me yet.

Anyways, in an effort to shorten things up I decided to combine the last three mediums of communication together because what I am about to teach you can be used on your ex girlfriend to make her think about you.

In fact, I am going to go out on a limb here and say that this may very well be the most powerful way of making your ex girlfriend think about you constantly.

The Method – Finding The High Point And Ending Communication There

I like to call it the cliffhanger principle.

You see, I am an avid watcher of TV shows and after a while I began noticing how almost every one began ending on a cliffhanger.

In other words, the intensity would build up. It would get you really engaged and then right when it was going to get to the best part something like this would happen,


AHHH… I want to find out what happens next.

And then you would have to wait an entire week for the next episode to come on to find out what happens next.

But here is the best part about it.

During that week long wait…

You become obsessed trying to figure out what happens next.

You just want to see the next episode.

You THINK about it…. a lot!

Hollywood has it right.

They know exactly what to do to keep someone engaged and thinking about a show and we can definitely learn a thing or two from them when it comes to keeping your ex girlfriend engaged and thinking about you.

So, I stole the cliffhanger method from them and tweaked it to work for our purposes.

Thanks Hollywood!

Here’s how it works.

Step One: Find The High Point When Talking To Your Ex Girlfriend

A lot of men always ask me,

“How do I find the high point of a conversation when talking with an ex.”

The truth is…

It’s an elusive thing to find.

My best piece of advice here is to feel it out.

I’ll give you an example.

Lets say that you are talking on the phone with a girl you really like and the conversation is going extremely well. In fact, it’s going so well that you find yourself thinking,

“Man, I don’t want this to end. I am having so much fun talking to her.”

Congratulations you have just found the high point of the conversation.

Oftentimes the moment you enjoy a conversation to the point where you don’t want it to end is the high point.

That’s where step two comes into play.

Step Two: Ending On The High Point

This is an idea that is taken directly from Hollywood.

Notice how they wait to end the episode at a point where you don’t want it to end.

The same principle is going to apply here when you have a conversation with your ex.

I want you to wait until you hit that inevitable moment where you think to yourself,

“I don’t want this to end”

And then end it!

It’s really simple.

Well, it’s not but you can do it!


Written by EGR team mate

Chris Seiter

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169 thoughts on “Is Your Ex Girlfriend Thinking About You? …. Let’s Find Out!”

  1. Harry

    December 2, 2017 at 10:03 am

    Hi there,
    I started dating a girl at the start of the summer, and went away for two months. In these two months we kept speaking to each other, but at a party this guy that she used to like a lot kissed her (she told me this while I was away, but said that she wanted to continue with me), however when I got back she said that she didn’t know who she preferred between me and him even though she was didn’t speak to him, and said that she wanted to end it between us because she couldn’t decide who she preferred. Two weeks later I got in touch with her saying that I missed her and she said she missed me too but she was still thinking about this other person, however she said that she wanted our relationship to continue one day. I said that in the meantime we could continue speaking as friends and that is what we did. After 10 days or so she said that she felt strange being just friends and she seemed to become more and more attracted. So we met up for the first time and she kissed me (passionately), all was good, even though she wasn’t always available to go out together (she is 16 so it could be because of her parents). We went out two more times and we kissed and hugged each other a lot, everything was perfect… over a week went by and we hadn’t gone out because she said she always had something on the days that I asked her to do something together. She also seemed to be a little more distant than usual so I asked her what was up and she said that she was totally fine. I then asked (seeing as our relationship seemed to be proceeding well) if she was still thinking about the other person that she kissed in august. She said that he approached her and that made her start thinking about him again, even though she said she hadn’t been thinking about him much recently because she had been with me. She then said that she prefers me more than him and doesn’t want to lose me and wants to keep speaking to me trying to forget him. I was naturally angry at the whole situation and said that I wanted to take a break which only lasted 4 days because I am so in love with her and missed her. After talking she said that she thinks it’s wrong for her to talk to me while she is thinking about somebody else, so breaks up with me saying that she still one day wants to be with me and wants to continue in the future.
    10 days have gone by, I haven’t spoken to her, she hangs out with my group of friends so we see each other often, but we ignore each other and sometimes don’t even say hi. I have started speaking to another girl but it’s just not the same and I miss her a lot.

    1. EGR Team Member: Amor

      December 2, 2017 at 5:40 pm

    2. Harry

      December 3, 2017 at 12:40 am

      I haven’t been friend zoned, she thinks about someone else as well as me and she thinks it’s wrong.

    3. EGR Team Member: Amor

      December 7, 2017 at 3:00 pm

      Sorry, I didn’t explain why I linked that.. That’s good that she feels guilty about it… But I chose that link for you because you’re going to get friendzoned if you’re too available for her..she thinks about the other guy because he’s not always around, and when he approached her, all she remembered was their good moments.. When you have a little bit of distance, there’s mystery, mystery helps creates desire, which helps create attraction

    4. Harry

      December 8, 2017 at 4:36 pm

      Thank you very much for your advice! So how do I get back speaking to her? When should I message her if she doesn’t contact me? Thanks

    5. Harry

      December 8, 2017 at 6:20 pm

      Sorry, why is it good that she feels guilty?

    6. EGR Team Member: Amor

      December 15, 2017 at 6:56 pm

      just because it means she’s less likely to cheat because of her morals.. you can initiate contact after your no contact period. check this one:
      How To Use Text Messages To Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back

    7. Harry

      December 19, 2017 at 10:30 pm

      I contacted her after the 21 day period and she said she doesn’t feel the same way towards me anymore because of the whole situation. Any help?

    8. EGR Team Member: Amor

      December 21, 2017 at 6:34 pm

      what did you say to her?

    9. Harry

      December 28, 2017 at 10:39 pm

      I asked her wether the situation was clearer for her and she said no. I have recently discovered that she has started seeing someone else.

    10. EGR Team Member: Amor

      December 31, 2017 at 3:07 pm

      After nc, she’s supposed to think you’re either moving on or has moved and just being friendly..so asking about second chances, her feelings or if you can be friendly is a no no becauee you would look like you’re chasing.. Restart nc and continue improving yourself and posting after nc while slowly building rapport

    11. Harry

      January 7, 2018 at 2:25 pm

      Thanks again for your help. I haven’t spoken to her in 3 weeks. I saw her out yesterday for the first time and said hi to her. I have also found out that she has started speaking to someone else, should I still contact her? If so when and how should I approach?

    12. EGR Team Member: Amor

      January 13, 2018 at 1:22 am

      how did you find it out?

    13. Harry

      January 15, 2018 at 9:06 pm

      A friend told me. I think she is in to this other person. What do I do? I’m trying to forget her.

    14. EGR Team Member: Amor

      January 16, 2018 at 2:12 am

      then yes, you can still try to build rapport because you’re not supposed to know in that way.. it would look like you’re fishing information from other people about her.. but if you’re moving on, then don’t.. just keep focusing your energy in yourself and in your life growth.

    15. Harry

      January 21, 2018 at 8:14 am

      Sometimes I’m fine and sometimes I feel awful. She is dating this other person, who she seems really in to but she likes my instagram posts, I don’t know if she just does it to be friendly.

  2. Harry

    November 10, 2017 at 9:53 pm

    So I was dating this girl for around 2 months. Everything seemed to be going great; we was all over each other when we was out on dates and we was open about who we were and what we had overcome in the past. Then two weeks ago I asked her when I could see her again next after my birthday. She said she didn’t know as her friends want to see her and she hadn’t seen any of them for quite a while, and that me and her might have to be put on the backburner for a while. I initiated LC over the next week, and on Friday I get a message saying that she’s been thinking and it’s not going to work out as I want too much from her and she’s not prepared to give it as there’s a lot of pressure, due to me reading more into our relationship than had actually formed. Though she says I’m such a nice guy and she really liked me. I said OK and we agreed to be friends, though I clearly wanted more than that.

    I’ve initiated NC with her which isn’t going too well as I keep falling off the bandwagon and checking social media. I really liked her and she really liked me. How do I earn a second chance here?

    1. EGR Team Member: Amor

      November 15, 2017 at 3:28 pm

      Hi Harry,

      How much are you improving yourself and how active are you in posting?

  3. Jayden

    October 18, 2017 at 6:07 pm

    Hello, recently my ex and I broke on Saturday of October 14, she said she had lost feelings and attraction to me after the break up she hung out with a guy friend and lied saying he kissed her and she kissed back in order for me to hate her to numb the pain but it didn’t work because I gained even stronger feelings through the pain. We talked on Tuesday over the phone and cleared things up and we both apologized. She said that I was clingy and obsessive and it turned her off. We were dating for about 5 weeks and ended it last week. Every now and then I see her look at in a class where she sits across facing me about 50 feet away. Does she miss me even if she doesn’t have feelings? And does she still have feelings?

    1. EGR Team Member: Amor

      October 27, 2017 at 5:59 pm

      Hi Jayden,

      She probably does.. If you’re still broken up, try the no contact rule..

  4. Brian

    July 15, 2017 at 5:28 am

    I’ve recently broke up with my girlfriend and am really heartbroken. For 8 months we never fought until 3 weeks before the breakup. When she broke up with me, she called me and very directly stated that she was breaking up with me and that she would be blocking me from everything. At first, i tried contacting her through whatever ways I could think of that weren’t blocked (anonymous texting apps, alternate emails, google hangouts which shows your number as unknown when you call). I did this for about the first day and a half and have since started to give NC a shot. She sent me a letter in the mail with no actual letter, just a disney annual pass I bought her. I don’t know if I should mail her back with an apology and even the disney pass. On top of that, I don’t know how to handle the indirect contact rule. I rarely use social media and she doesnt have facebook. Her sister hates me now and her one friend thought she should break up with me once we started fighting. I don’t really have an indirect way of showing her what I’m up to because I’m blocked on the little bit of social media we did share, and I’m not friends with her sister and friend. I’m at a complete loss and I just want to smooth things over and let her know I never meant to hurt her, even if it means she won’t forgive me or get back together with me.

    1. EGR Team Member: Amor

      July 19, 2017 at 1:35 pm

      HI Brian,

      your chance depends on how much you improve yourself and you can influence her through your posts even if she blocked you.. because she’ll probably be curious and check on that in some way.

  5. Trent

    March 6, 2017 at 6:14 pm

    I feel helpless, It’s been a week since our breakup, and I’m making so many changes in my life. I have a panic disorder/agoraphobia and I have been pushing through on my bike to beat this disease. I ride about 2 miles a day. I’m learning how to cook so I can be more independent. I’m currently blocked and I feel so frustrated that I’m doing all these good things and the person I wish would see it is really mad at me. Sometimes I feel like giving up but then I think that this is benefiting me because I’m able to go outside again.

    1. EGR Team Member: Amor

      March 18, 2017 at 4:29 pm

      Hi Trent,

      it’s normal to still think about her.. don’t deny that to yourself. Acknowledge it when it happens and remind yourself that it’s normal but that it wont help you if you break nc because of that.. You have to choose to keep going or to keep doing your current activity despite of what you feel.. It’s like being brave. You’re still afraid but you choose to act while you’re also afraid, instead of letting fear cripple you… Do new activities. Widen your world and make new friends..

  6. R

    February 26, 2017 at 8:57 pm

    Hi Amor,

    My relationship ended about 3 weeks ago. We were together for a year and a half. The first year was great. We fell hard for each other and moved in together rather quickly (6 months). After a few months of living together, I became very depressed. She was already settled into a career where she was making great money and was extremely happy. And here I am, struggling trying to pay my bills, at a dead end job while my dream job seemed further away with each passing day. (I realized recently that I was still dealing with the loss of my father, 2 years prior, as well.) I started to be cold and complacent. She had brought this to my attention a few times, but I got defensive and we never had a proper conversation about it. I’ve always had a hard time expressing my feelings and opening up to people. She felt like we were just roommates that shared a bed. We never went out together, we rarely texted and called each other. I hurt her a lot. She was trying to open up to me and I kept rejecting her without really realizing I was doing it. But I never stopped loving her. She was my best friend and the only girl I had eyes for. I was just going through a deep depression and I let it get the best of me. Unfortunately, it affected her.

    After she ended things, she stayed with a friend for the week while I moved out. I reached out to her during that time to try to have an honest conversation, but she was not interested. She wanted space. I was devastated, even more depressed than I was before. That was the worst 7 days of my life. I woke up on my mom’s couch the following day and I decided I was not going to feel sorry for myself anymore. I put myself into counseling and, the next day, I had an interview for an entry-level job in my chosen career field and got it. I immediately quit my dead end job and signed a lease for an apartment. For the first time in a long while, I was happy. I know that I was not actually ready to try to reach out to her and it was, of course, a bad idea. But, I did it anyway. She asked whom I was doing these things for and said not to contact her again after telling me we can “maybe [talk] in a few months.” I was confused and immediately regretted reaching out to her at that moment.

    So, here I am, it’s been about 10 days since I’ve contacted her (though I did have a friend grab my spare car key from her on my behalf.) I know it’s way too early to do anything besides work on myself and keep going with the no contact rule. But, I’m constantly asking myself, can this even be saved? I was horrible to her on an emotional level and probably don’t deserve a second chance. But, I would do anything just to have a chance to show her that I am making great strides towards being the man that she fell in love with.

    Do you have any advice for a situation such as this?

    1. EGR Team Member: Amor

      February 26, 2017 at 10:15 pm

      Hi R,

      There’s still a chance. Worrying is not going to help. Being active helps. Improve health, wealth, relationships aspect of your life and be active in posting in social media because that’s your indirect way of showing your improvements. After that slowly rebuild rapport.

  7. Desmond

    February 14, 2017 at 11:52 pm

    hi Chris…please what are the type of text messages should I text my ex after the no contact period……could you give me a sample please?….thanks a lot.

    1. EGR Team Member: Amor

      February 15, 2017 at 5:08 pm

  8. Prince

    January 8, 2017 at 9:37 pm

    I really need a hand on this. My girlfriend and I have been dating for like seven months now. I wasn’t really into her before she and I became friends and finally love birds. We school at the same college, pursuing the same career. Her Ex boyfriend was our course mate.
    It really sucks to see that guy, and the way he used to throw himself at her…. Probably to initiate jealousy in me.
    My girlfriend was virtually in love with me, we’d spend time together, sleep together, cook together and stuff…
    The honey moon period in the relationship was more than exciting. She once complained of I not texting or calling to know how she was doing.
    The girl is much older than I. From then, I became sentimental, I texted her often, asked her many questions, questioned her about the love we shared and some crappie questions.
    She told me that she needed time to think about us. I tried begging, Gatting… Bombing her phone with calls and texts… Stalking her social networks, asked her friends to talk about her…
    Nothing really worked. I love her, and I drove all attention to her. She was golden, and I would often do the impossible to stay into Contact with her.
    I went into a two_weeks NC after which I called her. At last I was able to heave a sigh of relief since she’d initially vowed not to pick my calls or reply to my texts. Our communication was official, when I told her that I missed her… She went silent. I have been communicating with her: and I finally told her that I realized I made a huge mistake in the past, and that I have been working on myself. We had a conversation, I explained my behaviors and how sorry I was… The Gatting stuff, the immaturity, the insecurities, bombarding her with texts and so on. I never had a thought of cheating on her let alone doing it. After talking to her, she told me that she’d think about us when we go back to school. I asked her for a new chance, and she told me that the chance was there… And that she was giving me space, a space I never asked for….

    I’m now confused…. What to do next.

    1. EGR Team Member: Amor

      January 9, 2017 at 11:37 am

      Hi Prince,

      The nc was too short and it was too early to ask her back.. if she’s not talking to you now, then restart nc and focus in improving yourself after that rebuild rapport slowly..


    November 28, 2016 at 10:45 am

    Dear Amor,
    I hope all is good.
    Long story short.
    Long distance relationship for 2 years.
    Very fusional relationship, i got into financial troubles, became quite negative, till the point i lost interest in my ex.
    Until she decided to leave…tried to work it out got together back 2 months later, but somehow i felt i had to run after her and told her that the best thing was to stop all of it.
    I needed time for myself and grow.
    Almost 10 months apart now.
    She kept in touch with my mom.
    A few days ago my mom send me a picture of a letter we sent to her when we were together…
    Yesterday i checked her Facebook, she posted old pictures ( the same day my mom sent me the picture )
    of when we were together with an outfit that was mine and saying that she loves it, then she also posted a few days laters a picture saying that she loves the city i live in, and as her main comment she write that she doesn’t loose time negative people, which i admit i was during a hard period of my life, but i am not at all… as i am getting back to my best shape…
    She is obviously resentful, i won’t post anything bad about her after 10 months apart, i believe she is angry at me…
    What is your opinion ? thank you.

    1. EGR Team Member: Amor

      November 30, 2016 at 6:07 pm


      it can be that she is resentful, it can be that she is confused, but right now, it doesn’t matter because if you’re not going to talk to her, you just have to let her be.. That’s good that you won’t post anything bad about her because it won’t help. If she is being immature, and if she is stalking your account, then you have to show that you are moving on and improving.. Nothing in your activities is directed in hurting her or insulting her. You’re just living your life the best way possible. It can help make her realize that she’s just wasting energy in being negative.

    2. WINWIN

      November 30, 2016 at 9:55 pm

      Thank you for your reply Amor.
      I do believe she still has feelings but i really believe that she should reach out.
      However i know i provocated that situation, buy i believe that the best thing is that she reaches out and explains openly about what happened…
      What do you think of it, how would you act, i mean i won’t talk to her as i believe its time for her to show that she is open minded but i definitively would like to have closure and a friendly mature relationship, she has never been an enemy i wish her the best.
      With you experience how would you suggest me to act ?
      Thank you for reading and helping out.
      Much love to everybody in here !

    3. EGR Team Member: Amor

      December 1, 2016 at 10:45 am

      Just keep doing what you’re planning to do.. Dont talk to her and focus in yourself

  10. Lucky

    November 27, 2016 at 8:13 pm

    I i have been here when i had a break up with a lady i used to out with her for over 2 years.
    Was a splendid and fusional relationship, i had profesional & financial deep troubles that at the time made me act kind of weird and very distant to her…she tried to make me see that but i was blind at the time…she sent signals but just ignored them till she broke up as she was really hurt…we got back together a few months later, but in reality my situation wasn’t really solved and somehow that time i decided its better to stop talking etc…which i said to her and from that day she didn’t reply to any messages…
    Truth is that i needed time to solve my issues, to be alone etc…i still lover and i know that she loves…
    I didn’t even contacted her from this summer…
    It will be soon almost 8 months we broke…
    I understood that i needed to focus on myself and make things better first for me and that maybe later if she wants we could talk about it all…
    She has kept in touch with my mother, she sends her pictures etc…but i never really bothered and somehow i am happy for them if they are in touch…but recently my mother sent me a picture of a letter we wrote her when we where together…
    and by curiosity which i never do i checked her on social media, i don’t do it because i have to focus on me and i really wish her the best…
    So i have seen she posted picture with some of my clothes saying that she loves them and also she posted a picture of the city i live in where she used to come and putted on the picture that she loves the city…
    Also she putted like she doesn’t like negative people as her main title…which indirectly she might be talking about my behaviour during the break up….
    What do you think about those signals, i know that i might only suggest she is just thinking about me which doesn’t mean she wants to be back and honestly i would love to but i am still working on solving things…
    what is your opinion ? that she feels confused by emotions ? i would love to hear your thoughts.

    1. EGR Team Member: Amor

      November 30, 2016 at 6:08 pm


      it can be that she is resentful, it can be that she is confused, but right now, it doesn’t matter because if you’re not going to talk to her, you just have to let her be.. That’s good that you won’t post anything bad about her because it won’t help. If she is being immature, and if she is stalking your account, then you have to show that you are moving on and improving.. Nothing in your activities is directed in hurting her or insulting her. You’re just living your life the best way possible. It can help make her realize that she’s just wasting energy in being negative.

  11. Jay

    September 10, 2016 at 7:11 pm

    My ex just broke up with me a week and half ago after 5 months of knowing each other and dating. Two months ago we found out she was pregnant and will be having our child in March of next year. I am divorced and have three boys, 9, 7, 4 and she has a 9 y/o. I have been conducting no contact but am struggling with keeping in contact with her since we are having a baby together and I want to be invovlved as much as I can. We have two appointments coming up within the nc period, one of which will be gender reveal. I love and care for her, do you have any advice. I also bought the NC bible and texting and am staying strong on NC, which she blocked me from her phone but not from email or mail.

    1. Jay

      September 15, 2016 at 12:02 am

      My ex just broke up with me a week and half ago after 5 months of knowing each other and dating. Two months ago we found out she was pregnant and will be having our child in March of next year. I am divorced and have three boys, 9, 7, 4 and she has a 9 y/o. I have been conducting no contact but am struggling with keeping in contact with her since we are having a baby together and I want to be invovlved as much as I can. We have two appointments coming up within the nc period, one of which will be gender reveal. I love and care for her, do you have any advice. I also bought the NC bible and texting and am staying strong on NC, which she blocked me from her phone but not from email or mail.

  12. Cole

    August 17, 2016 at 3:43 pm

    Hi Chris! I have recently been dumped by a girl I was seeing for 4.5 months, although we were never an “official couple”. Everything was going great, with so much passion from both sides, the breakup came out of nowhere it seemed. After further analysis, I have realized that I was her rebound guy, as she was in a 3 year relationship with a guy prior to me. He was unfaithful to her during their relationship and she even said multiple times how much better I was than him. She also admitted to being attracted to assholes more than nice guys unfortunately. Seeing as I was her rebound relationship, do all these rules and tricks still apply to getting her back?! I really want her back, please help! Thank you

    1. EGR Team Member: Amor

      August 25, 2016 at 6:58 pm

      Hi Cole

      we cant guarantee that no contact will work but yes, it also applies to you

  13. Jack

    August 10, 2016 at 4:02 pm

    Hi there,

    This is long but please read it all! 🙂

    My ex girlfriend and I became absolute best friends. We would call each other, text each other, everything best friends did, it wasn’t until later romantic attraction started.

    It was like a fairy tale, and I’m not saying this to sound special. It’s true. We were perfect. We feel so deeply in love that it completely consumed both of us. We were together for two years and we broke up four days ago.

    We had something different. Actually different. She still admits it if I were ask her. Our chemistry and compatibility is like almost no other. And I mean this and this isn’t the broken heart talking. But I’ll go into us breaking up now. That’s what’s important here.

    Well, I guess I can be a bit controlling at times, unfortunately. We got to a point where we got into an awful cycle: Get into a fight. I stay calm. She talks 95% of the time. She starts yelling. She blames the severity on me. She get in car and leaves before I have a chance to say a single single word. I try to convince her to just finish the conversation and I seem controlling. Next day, I’m always the one to make things better because she is very stubborn and knows it’s a problem but doesn’t care to change it. And then the cycle repeated.

    We were both really frustrating about the situation because we love each other so much. So much.

    The night we broke up, we were in a beautiful place in nature. We live in Arizona. It was after a huge fight and she was bitter, hurt, and angry. Really upset. Well, once she proclaimed it, she did give me a chance to speak.

    I began telling her that I understand all of her reasons for this, all of them, because I thought maybe if I knew what the problems were, she could see them being solved.

    “Jack, it’s not gonna happen,” she told me midway through my paragraph. It hit me like a bullet. I kept my cool.

    I started explaining that what we really need is just space. A lot of it. I told her that I’m going to Oregon for a month and then Costa Rica after that. I told her, “How about this. We are broken up, but I get to take you on a date before Costa Rica.” She agreed and it seem to bring her peace. She was crying throughout the whole thing, and I think what she really needed was a lot of space and she thought the only way she could get it was by breaking up (my fault for not giving her enough space).

    Anyway, when we were leaving, we looked at each other in the moon light. I told her, “This could be the last time we ever get to hold each other,” and I just grabbed her and held her and she starting sobbing and then I started sobbing. We told each other that we love each other so much, that we’re going to miss each other so much, that we are so sorry. We cried so much. She said that even if we don’t get back together one day she doesn’t want to hate each other.

    When we were done, I kissed her. And then it was over. We were done after that.

    I was great the next day. I mean, hey! She agreed to the date in a month when I get back from Oregon!

    Well yesterday and today have been horrible. Sick. I’ve been depressed and lack motivation to do anything. I haven’t begged her to come back at all. I’m not going to.

    I leave for Oregon this week.

    I caught wind that just three days after the breakup now, she is already flirting it up and getting exciting about other guys, which makes me think awfulness because she’s already seeming over me.

    So I’m leaving for Oregon. She would like to see me before I leave. But t seems like she already doesn’t care about me anymore. I intend to start no contact the second I get on the plane. But should I blow her off and not let her see me before I go? And just start no contact now?

    Also what are my chances? What should I be doing to maximize my chances with her? We said we would date other people even before our date so I’m just scared she’ll find someone else. What can I do to keep me on her mind?

    I’ll already bought ex girlfriend recovery Pro.

    Thank you so much!

    1. EGR Team Member: Amor

      August 24, 2016 at 12:54 pm

      Hi Jack,

      sorry for the late reply how are you now

  14. Josh

    August 9, 2016 at 4:59 pm

    Hi Chris; I was in a distant relationship with this girl from Israel. We met in India in Sep 2012, but start communication from Jan 2013. Went to Israel in April 2013 decided to get marry with her. We both were excited. She said to me that did not have a relationship in 4 years and I told her I just finished a relationship 6 months ago. I came back to Australia and few days after she said that she will not marry me. I think was too clingy for her. Then went back to Israel in Sep 2013 and we did not talk. By that time I knew few people there who I was staying and going out. One day she said to me that she appreciated the fact that i did not pressure her and also she pointed that I was meeting more people than her in her country. We again decided to give us another opportunity. Again when I came back to Australia she decided to give our self time (1 month), because she needed space and time to think. When a month passed I contacted her and she told me that she was about to get married. I was surprised, but only wished her good luck with her life. Few days after she contacted me in Viber and told me that she was not happy. I said to her why and she told me that she called off the marriage. Of course I was extremely happy but did not show her that. Then I went to Israel for the third time in Nov 2015 and I stayed with her. We argued many times and ended up in good agreements but again when I came back to Australia she change her mind saying that I was able to follow my promises and did not have our own place to live. I was confident that my job will be going OK but recession touched Australia; lost my job and finances were not going well. Of course my stress increased and I felt to call her more often. This discouraged again and she said to me that she wanted a clear end. Now after she broke up with me we were still in contact until one day she said that we were not BF GF anymore and therefore we did not have to communicate very often. So from the 22 of July i decided not to call her again. Before she unfriend me from Fbook and Viber and the only way to contact her in via Whattsup and her phone number. Two weeks already pass and I feel that I was the one trying to contact he.r. The first week was really a challenge but now I realise that I made her claustrophobic. Do you think that after 30 days I can contact her or seems that she is moving on and have no interest whatsoever to contact me again?

    1. EGR Team Member: Amor

      August 24, 2016 at 8:27 am

      Hi Josh,

      I think you should do 45 days.. how much have you improved?

  15. Danny M

    July 6, 2016 at 10:15 pm

    Hey Chris & Amor… I wish I knew about this website before I got myself to where i am now. So my ex-gf was one of the first few friends I made when I started college. We met and became really close as the year went on. Halfway through sophomore year, we drifted apart. Junior year we reconnected, but barely made contact. I figured that would be the end. Little did I know, we’d reconnect senior year and actually hook up at a party. We became fwbs and a month later, we were exclusively hooking up starting in January. From then on, we basically did all bf/gf stuff like dates, going out for dinner, etc. just no label. We talked in March and said that we both didnt want a relationship bc it wasn’t worth it with graduation around the corner. Then we started catching strong feelings, but I still kept it cool on the outside. In April, she asked if we wanted to become official, and we figured we’d try to make it work long distance after we graduate 1.5 months later. It was great, I really liked her, and we really had that deep connection since we first met 4 years ago as freshmen. I was the first to get to third base and eventually reach home plate with her. We were only about an hour away at home, but one thing we had discussed was what will happen when she goes across the country to L.A. for a year-long internship that she had set up since like September. We promised to make it work and try, but she doesn’t leave until next month. About 3 weeks into the summer, we meet up on a date and out of nowhere she drops that she doesn’t want to be in a relationship anymore. I was upset because I felt like she didn’t try. 3 weeks is nothing. She said it was “commitment issues” and “not being ready for long distance in L.A.” She also pulled the it’s not you, it’s me card. and claimed that she did really try. But being an experienced person, I called her out on trying to give me cop out excuses, asking for the real reason. I asked if there was someone else, to which she said there isn’t. She doesn’t really go out when she’s home from school and she’s kind of shy around people she doesn’t know/meets for the first time. I ask her to rethink it, and she says there’s nothing I can do to change her mind. I go home and cool off, 5 days later I call her to try to dig more at why she did it. It ended in frustration, but she told me she felt suffocated and that she wasn’t ready to go long-distance. She told me she still really liked me but just didn’t want a relationship right now. I tried calling her the few days after that, but she ignored them. I realized I was being a big baby in begging her to come back, so I sent a long apology. She replied and thanked me for it and asked to be friends. I went quiet for a few days. That weekend, we both attended a mutual friend’s b-day party and we both didn’t expect to see each other. I play it cool (and civil). I don’t give her the time of day, but I”m not rude either. As the night goes on and the drinks flow, she throws herself and starts flirting hard core with this guy in front of me for an hour. She knew i was watching, I tried to ignore it, but at this time there were less people and she was being very loud and obnoxious. The guy was enjoying it, but she ultimately didn’t do anything with him and went home shortly after by herself. I was really pissed off, but I kept a very cool exterior. Didn’t seem bothered by it. A week later, I’ve calmed down from the breakup itself and realized the flaws in why she broke up, with me being needy (calling/texting her excessively) as the first few weeks of summer I had a hard time processing the fact that college was over and we’re now in the real world. So I tried to send out feeler messages to see how she’d react and if it would spark a conversation. She replied kinda quick (10-20 min) but in a way that you couldn’t really respond to the messages like “lol” or short/brief answers. I spaced them out over a couple days, and I even called her to see if she wanted to meet up for coffee, to which she said she was busy and was going away later in the week. Then I figured the best move is probably no contact (a little later than should have).. Now 2 weeks in, and I haven’t heard anything yet. During this time, I’ve been hitting the gym and going out and enjoying myself, but I still miss her a lot. A couple of things have irked me since going no contact. I noticed her popping on social media (last online: 5 a.m or so) a couple times on the weekends, and it’s like what could you possibly doing up at that time? It’s definitely thinking (maybe overthinking) and I try to ignore it, but it’s hard to. I really want to fix things before she leaves, but if she really is on a rebound (and it’s not just me overthinking) I’m afraid that it’ll be a perfect transition for her to distract herself from me until she leaves for L.A. After all, I’m sure tinder is big right about now in the summer. I don’t know if I want a serious relationship anymore, but maybe something more open and less committed (fwbs?) and then hopefully a way to reopen the door when she comes back (if I’m still feeling that way, but I really really do like her). 2 weeks in NC, her birthday is coming up in 4 days, I’m not sure if I should break NC for that, or what to do since there’s only a month left before she leaves and time is running out. My goal is to reach the 3 week NC mark and maybe try to send some feeler texts out, is that the right move? I know she’s the type of person who can cut people and things that give her negative emotions out easily. I’m afraid she’ll toss me aside, but she had told me that she had never had feelings for another guy like me before and seeing that I was her first, I must mean something right? The flirting with the guy was a real head scratcher and stomach churner. What should I do?

    1. EGR Team Member: Amor

      July 7, 2016 at 7:18 pm

      Hi Danny M,

      fwb with her? how she’s going to be far away? if you can do that, then just aim for a relationship.. things will get more complicated if you fwb either with her or with another girll…and nopr you can’t greet her during nc.. treat this as a long distance relationship..if her fear is that the relationship will not survive the distance then build rapport when she’s in LA

    2. Danny M

      July 7, 2016 at 9:49 pm

      Thanks for replying Amor,

      I guess what I’m trying to say is – hook up before she leaves, but I guess that wouldn’t be the greatest of ideas. But what I can do if she’s convinced of her commitment issues being the problem? She said she felt trapped in being in a relationship once we left school, that it was easier when we could see each other everyday back then. I had a feeling NC was the play. Should I break NC at the 21 day, 30 day mark, or keep it ongoing until she actually pulls the first move? I feel like once she’s in Cali, she will have moved on if I haven’t seen her or talked to her.

    3. EGR Team Member: Amor

      July 8, 2016 at 5:19 pm

      you can do 21 or 30 days.. treat this as a restart for an ldr

    4. Danny M

      July 8, 2016 at 9:51 pm

      Thanks Amor,

      I will check out the LDR guide, but if there is a rebound and I can confirm that, how should I approach that? Seeing that it’s LDR

    5. EGR Team Member: Amor

      July 9, 2016 at 6:55 pm

      you have to appear friendly only when you initiate texting

    6. Danny M

      July 12, 2016 at 1:11 am

      Hey Amor,

      She broke NC today with a text. It seems like a conversation starter/test the waters text that should illicit a response. Like a “you won’t believe what I saw today…” I don’t plan on responding until the 21 day mark which is in a few days. When that time comes, what should I do?

    7. EGR Team Member: Amor

      July 13, 2016 at 9:05 am

      that’s right..ignore it for now and continue on the activities to improve yourself

    8. Danny M

      July 25, 2016 at 5:26 pm

      Hey Amor,

      We started texting each other a bit and had a couple of calls since. They’ve gone well, very slowly and gradually building a rapport. Unfortunately, with a limited time frame it sucks because I feel like I have to move a bit quicker (while trying to keep it natural). We’ve been in contact for the last couple of weeks but she leaves in a few days. She’s been away on vacation the last week and when she comes back there will only be two days before she leaves for LA. Before she went on vacation, I asked if I could see her before she leaves and that’s when she told me she was away and is jam packed with being with her family two days before she leaves. I didn’t want to seem needy or beggy by asking if there was any other way to squeeze in our first face to face meeting, but if she leaves without me seeing her, are my chances pretty much dead?

    9. EGR Team Member: Amor

      July 30, 2016 at 5:41 am

      nope.. treat it as an impending long distance relationship

    10. Danny M

      August 5, 2016 at 5:02 am

      Hey Amor,

      So she left without me seeing her, I asked to see her but she was too busy as expected. I don’t want to bug her too much in these first few weeks because I figure that she would be too busy settling/moving in. She said that she’d see me when she’s home for the holidays. Few questions:
      1) How should I take it from here?
      2) After she told me she’d see me over the holidays, I texted her the morning after (the day she was leaving) good luck in LA and that she has a safe flight over. She didn’t respond to it at all, is that bad?
      3) Maybe I’m reading into it too much, but I think a reason why she ignored that is because in between the 24 hr span she said she couldn’t see me and when I wished her good luckwas because a picture of a female friend and I surfaced on social media and a lot of people assumed that I was dating this friend. My ex never met her, so maybe she got really upset?

    11. EGR Team Member: Amor

      August 6, 2016 at 8:42 pm

      it can be that she was upset.. so, right now let her cool off and settle in her new place before talking to her again

    12. Danny M

      August 8, 2016 at 5:22 pm

      Hey Amor,

      Should I go strict NC and wait for her to break it? Or should I be the first to reach out eventually?

    13. EGR Team Member: Amor

      August 8, 2016 at 6:27 pm

      when you’re in nc.. that means you can’t iniitiate and reply to her messages.. but after it, you can initiate a message to her..

    14. Danny M

      September 28, 2016 at 2:36 am

      Hey Amor,

      I’m back. I went NC like you said to give her some time to settle in. Now it’s just strange. One time she answered me instantly and quickly, the next time she gave me a throwaway response–texting me back a day later, then she was texting me back every 15-20 minutes but it was so short, distant and cold. I feel like if I keep going it’s pushing too much. She never initiates anything. And yes, there were a few days in between each exchange.

    15. Danny M

      October 18, 2016 at 3:45 am

      What should i do?

    16. EGR Team Member: Amor

      October 24, 2016 at 9:16 am

      are you still in nc now?

  16. Nacho Man

    June 24, 2016 at 1:11 pm

    Hi Chris and Amor, so my situation is kinda interesting me and my ex are high school sweethearts. She was my first and I was her first and we been together for about 4 years. We work at the same place and we live together. Somewhere around the 3rd year we got to comfortable with each other and I stopped treating her like my gf and we stopped doing all those couples stuff and on top of that I stopped taking care of myself as well, I guess you could sorta say I fell into a comfort zone and never left it. Then she told me that she has feelings for another guy and that they kissed… After that I started smothering her bc I thought that was the right thing to do to win her over, that only lasted a couple of days before I realized that it wasn’t working. Now we’re in the nc stage and it’s only been 4 days and were planning on going for at least 2 weeks. Here’s where it gets interesting. So I mentioned earlier we live together and we work together, she moved in with her sister for the time being but the thing is we still work together and the guy she has feelings for also works there. So I guess I have multiple questions. Should I just swallow down my pride, keep it professional and just keep working there and if so would this be going against the nc rule? How long should I keep the nc rule going considering that we both pay rent for our apartment? Also will the nc rule still work since it wasn’t the first thing we tried? Btw this is a great and very helpful article.

    1. EGR Team Member: Amor

      June 30, 2016 at 12:36 pm

      Hi Nachi man,

      you would be doing limited contact.. be busy with other things outide your work..improve yourself and then just be civil with them

  17. Drue

    June 16, 2016 at 7:26 pm

    So my ex and I broke up over me becoming jealous of the attention she got online. She’s drop dead gorgeous after all so I was expecting it. What I didn’t expect was her doing things to forcefully increase that attention, it hurt hard and if I mentioned it to her she brushed it all as nothing and told me to just “unfollow” her if it was a problem. Eventually I cracked one day and said some hurtful things online about her. She dropped me the next day.
    Now a few weeks have passed but NC has only been in motion barley a week. But today I find she has publicly put me on blast with lies boasting she is “over that f**kboy”
    Is this her way of trying to regain my attention through hurtful things, because it was completely uncalled for yet we’re still friends on all but one forms of social media we use so she knew I was going to see it eventually, but I haven’t risen up to it at all. I seem to be seeing her in public near my gym a bit and the first time she saw me she gave me this cold look for a second and looked away, after today’s “message” I just walked by, smiling & didn’t even glance at her… Am I doing this right or am I dealing with a lost cause?

    1. EGR Team Member: Amor

      June 19, 2016 at 5:39 am

      Hi Drue,

      nope, that’s disrespectful of her.. but that’s right that you didn’t confront her about it.

  18. Wolverine

    June 9, 2016 at 7:45 pm

    I don’t think it is going to work.
    My ex and I broke up (she did) two weeks ago because she said she wan’t in love with me anymore. I walked out of her house with great dignity not even replying to her farewells. I just smiled and closed the door behind my back. Now she is on all dating sites actively looking for somebody else. When I realised I was almost stalking her on whatsapp (she used to be on in the mornings and late evenings like when we were in love) i deleted all her numbers and blocked her on all social netowrks. AFAIK she didn’t delete my numbers.

    To be perfectly honest I feel I have been manipulated by a sociopath and although i feel vulnerable I wouldn’t want her back again. Anyway in 4 days it will be her birthday (I was planning to propose her and give her a 2000$ dolla rings) but I am staying on the NC and avoid even sending her a happy Bday wish. What I feel is that it is over, she is actively and aggressively looking for somebody else and I already have another woman although a rebound relationship: my ex was my age (50) but this one is 34 so I got the best part of the deal. At our age women tend to be spoiled goods because successful people look for young women whereas people like me can easily find young women (like I did). My ex, on the other hand, is quite used to be the second or third lover of married older people. I am an unmarried professional with a more than decent income.

    Still I feel I wouldn’t be surprised that after her birthday passes without me taking any notice or giving her any sign of life she tried to get again in touch because she would hate to relinquish power. It’s just a matter of power. I will be ready and strong then, hopefully. And I will politely and coldly turn her off.

    So whether she thinks of me or she doesn’t I think this time it won’t work like this.

  19. Lake

    June 3, 2016 at 4:42 am

    My ex gf and I were together for just over 2 years. I am 22 and she’s 20. She was my first love. She though had dated over 10 guys. Only one seemed to be serious. What we had seemed to be very special, we had this amazing connection. After about a year we decided we’d move out together, but I ended up losing my job so it was put off. Time after time, we would think about moving in again together. We would have little arguments over money, simple things when thinking about getting a place for the first time. And just after 2 years she made a deadline, that if we weren’t moved out together by that date. She would break up with me. Mind you she has been out of the house since 18 and me still living with my parents, she is more mature and independent, but I am more responsible. She even admitted it. So of course the deadline came and I got cold feet. And that turned out to be the biggest mistake of my life. It’s been just about a month, since we broke up.
    And after only a few days her grandmother gave her a neighbors grandson’s number. And of course she starts hanging out with him, even spent the night twice but said they’re just friends. So they haven’t done anything…
    She says he’s wonderful, spent a lot of time together. But his Facebook profile makes him not look wonderful. And after wanting someone more independent, this guy lives at his dads house still too!
    We didn’t talk for the first 2 weeks, then I couldn’t wait any longer. She has texted me about 3 times to say hey or hope work went well. And we have texted briefly.
    What should I do to help better my chances of getting her back? I’m hoping he’s just a rebound.

    1. EGR Team Member: Amor

      June 9, 2016 at 5:27 am

      HI Lake,

      it looks like he is.. First, can you really handle moving out financially? If not just explain it to her later on if you get back together. Right now, start to do no contact. Even though you haven’t talked for a while, you haven’t started improving yourself. So, you need to focus on that first.

  20. Victor

    May 20, 2016 at 1:02 pm

    hey chris ,i’ve read this and its pretty good but my gf is distanced and well that why she asked for the break up because we were distanced but i cant really get over her ,i dont know hw to again i’ve tried the NC rule for 1 month now even though i was still instagram creeping well cuz i blocked her on facebook cuz i dint want to be seeing her post all the time so what do i do…

    1. EGR Team Member: Amor

      June 4, 2016 at 10:03 am

      Hi Victor,

      no contact’s purpose is actually for you to heal and improve.. that’s the first priority. 2nd is of course for her to miss you and talk to you again.. you need to avoid checking on her too because it won’t help you to get better

  21. Amado

    May 6, 2016 at 12:43 pm

    Hi Chris,
    I just got a couple of your ebooks. Very good work! In your book you said begin with the end in mind and that is why I write to you with a question. After reading the NC book, I have decided to go for about 25 days starting yesterday. I don’t come from a bad breakup in general although it really was painful for me and I begged quiet a lot. Passion was off from what I could perceive the last 45 days of our relationship. We were together for 6 months and became pretty close and the last month we did long distance right before we started to experience the loss of the honeymoon phase like I said. I think this girl is the one because she has the best heart and our time together was really good and special so I am going to do whatever it takes to make it right. Thats why I looked for you and your books. I intend to do this “by the book”.
    I have put with job problems and struggling quiet a lot with professional frustrations and she put up with a lot of my stress in general in a lovely manner, she supported me all this time and I realized that she was doing this because she loves me but I abused that trust and I think at some point that sum of my needy issues ultimately got her “off” of passion. Breaking up she told me she loved me but she is not in love with me anymore.

    Anyway, that is just a couple of insights for you. I am 33 and she is 40. She is a very independent professional lady that I think has commitment issues. Like I said, I am going for 24/25/26 days of NC and I was writing you because my Birthday is at the 21 day of applying the NC and being the nice person she is I am pretty sure that -if I can make it and she goes all the way to the 21 day without contacting me- she will contact me for my Birthday and this I think will not reflect on her the effect that I am looking for after reading your book ruining the whole plan. I would never know if she wrote me because the NC worked or that she misses me. What should I do? And I think it will be really rude if I just ignore a Bday wish text or even just to say a simple “thank you” because I am going for 25. Moreover, if I was going for 25 days and she contacts me on day 21, I won’t be able to execute the plan on 25 the way is supposed to because the 21 is my bday and I don’t want for her to think I contact her because I am lonely on my bday or something like that, right?

    1. EGR Team Member: Amor

      May 13, 2016 at 8:09 am

      Hi Amado,

      then it simply means you’re breaking nc at 21 days if you choose to talk to her.. Make the most of the remaining days to improve yourself so, that at least you have made changes.. if it doesn’t work out as a good start at your birthday then do another nc, but you have to stick to 30 days, because the more you use nc, the less the effect.. so you have to make the 2nd one better, and you have to keep improving yourself.

  22. PP

    May 5, 2016 at 10:59 am

    Hello everyone, about two weeks ago my gf asked for some “space” this had completely blindsided me and needless to say i texted and called her and even stopped by her house a few times to the point where she did break up with me. She told me her feelings have changed for me. Doesnt love me like a boyfriend anymore, i saw none of this coming. Yesterday we spoke and she told me she feelings havent changed in the time we have had apart and i asked her if we could just stop all contact and give it some time and she said yes, although i know she doesnt think i can do it. She told me of course she wants it to work just doesnt see the feelings changing. Did i ruin our chances and push her beyond saving with the two weeks of texts, call and craziness or is there still a chance? thanks–P

    1. EGR Team Member: Amor

      May 12, 2016 at 11:05 am

      Hi PP,

      did you proceed to no contact?

  23. TQ

    April 27, 2016 at 9:19 pm

    I just ended NC with my EX after 2 weeks because she has a new Bf. He bough her a promise ring. Our first conversation was quick and good. But the second one she was very neutral and short. I’m looking for any advice. I really want her to be the one.

    1. TQ

      April 27, 2016 at 11:15 pm

      They have been together for 3 weeks. my depression pushed her away and I’m really trying to bring her back, she loved me at my absolute worst, and in 2 weeks I’ve made several changes to make myself better, I got my own place, got a better job, started therapy got rid of my xbox ( i played games to drowned out my unhappiness), I got medicated. I want her to love me again at my best. I am desperate for her to come back we were together for almost two years and she was the only one where it wasn’t about not being lonely. Please help me.

    2. EGR Team Member: Amor

      April 28, 2016 at 7:40 am

      the guy may be rebound..but we have yet to know as time pass by….if you mean you ended nc…are you talking again?

    3. TQ

      April 28, 2016 at 3:07 pm

      We started talking again yes. The first conversation she seemed happy to hear from me and was positive, she immediately asked how I was doing and told me it was great hearing from me. The second she was very neutral and short worded.

    4. TQ

      April 29, 2016 at 5:08 am

      She text me while out at the bar with the other guy after not talking for hours… I’m drunk.. phone is going to die…. when I called her to make sure she was ok and didn’t need a ride. ( I didn’t know she was with him). She went to the bathroom to answer the phone call….. is this good or bad?

    5. EGR Team Member: Amor

      May 1, 2016 at 6:51 pm

      in a way that’s good.. because she still answered your call even if she’s with him..

  24. Sammy soto

    April 22, 2016 at 5:22 am

    Hey so I was on here like 4 months ago about my 2 year relationship, well we never got back together because she basically left me for some guy at her job & I guess it’s okay cause she’s finally happy & so am I I found someone who actually loves me but that’s not why I’m here . One of my close friends messaged me telling me my ex had message her about me getting mail & well I asked her if she can get it for me since I didn’t wanna see my ex & my ex told my friend that if I don’t go and get my mail myself she’ll throw it away that she doesn’t wanna play messagenger like before she didn’t want anything to do with me & since I don’t wanna get my mail she’s gonna actually say I should get it myself I mean what does that tell you ? Please let me know it’s kinda driving me crazy ..

    1. EGR Team Member: Amor

      April 24, 2016 at 8:40 am

      Hi Sammy,

      go if she initiates a fight, don’t engage..listen to whatever she wants to say..

    2. Sammy soto

      April 27, 2016 at 9:00 pm

      So does that mean she wants to see me ?

    3. EGR Team Member: Amor

      April 28, 2016 at 8:20 am

      yes, it’s like she wants to talk to yoy

  25. Ryno

    April 15, 2016 at 2:22 am

    Got a question here. I am not in a position to do NC. My girlfriend and I bought a house in November and she just recently cheated on me with a guy from work. WE ALL WORK AT THE SAME PLACE. I have no escape from her or this guy. how does one move forward in a situation like this? We are currently broke up and I see her every day at work and then at home. we have to pay our halves of the bills. what a cluster #^$&^!

    1. EGR Team Member: Amor

      April 15, 2016 at 7:20 am

      Hi Ryno,

      first, you have to talk about that calmly.. sell the house, so you don’t have something tied with her..

  26. rahul

    April 12, 2016 at 1:25 pm

    Hi there, I wass in a LDR with a girl from previous 6 months, we dated each other and travelled so many cities together. I proposed her and we started discussing about our future. we were in physical relationship. I am so much bonded to her. i did a lot for her .I met with her one of best friend(girl) on a tour, her best friend got jealous of me , nd my gf later on sepearted with her. she is accused me for this , i never told her to break with her. she said i got entered in her life so much taht, she is loosing her so called closed friends. so please go away . i dont want to come in relationship with you. she told me nowadays , she is getting inclined with his ex bf of school time. she told me earlier about him, that the guy cheated him and irritating so she left him. but now she is telling atleast he is better option den you.i know hi from 7 year and you 6 month. so just go away and dont want to meet any more. one day i was so drunk, dat i abused her so badly and threatened her.later on after an hour i appologied her with so sorry and handwritten letter on wats app. she told me, its ok. she cant tolerate me anymore. she started roaming with her ex bf and his friend circle. i am not able to adjust all these things. I started NC , but den she called nd message me for some project help.I did a wats app chat and again appologies and said sorry fot the last abusive night. she told she forgotten, just you keep distance with me and dont call or wats app me. So i started my serious NC from 2 days ago, but she sent me message again regarding project on wats app, i didnt reply. she sent me her pic on snapchat after getting high on yesterday night. i dint reply. she is uploading her group pik with his ex bf recent group tour on IG. I am getting jealous after seeing this. Still i kepy my eye on her last seen on wast app and Instagram. I am trying to completely ignore her for atleast 2 weeks. I am not able to do so, i hv fear that might be she will find someone else. I dont want to loose her at anypoint of time. still i have a faith that one day she will be back. i am ready to accept her anydays. my days are very worst now a days. Not able to eat well and concenterarte on work. Please give me a best advise. I want her back at any cost , bcuz i love her too much.please advise. Need an urgent advise

    1. EGR Team Member: Amor

      April 14, 2016 at 4:11 pm

      Hi Rahul,

      if she thinks you’re clingy and you’re taking her away from her friends, then use that as reason for nc… show her you have a life too and having fun.. but of course you should do that more for yourself…

  27. Aaron

    March 28, 2016 at 12:02 am

    Hi, looking for some advise. My girlfriend of four years told me we should just be friends about 2 weeks ago. She has broken up with me 3 times now and came begging back every time. Of course I love her and her son to death so I take her back every time. It starts out amazing then after about 4 months she slowly drifts away until she calls it quits on me. Every time she briefly sees another guy but always realized she screwed up and comes back. I treat her so good, cook for her, make her lunch for work, do laundry, help with cleaning, help her with her son. He is like my own. I am always there for her no matter what and it just kills me because I can’t figure out why she can’t just love me and appreciate me for what and who I am. She is seeing another guy again right away. I truly believe she has a major case of GIAG. So, do I fight as hard as I can to get over her? I’ve never given up on her once and not sure I can but it hurts to hold on. Is there hope for her or is she never going to change. She is 37 and never been married and continues to live undecided in relationships. Thanks for your help!

    1. Aaron

      March 28, 2016 at 12:58 am

      Hi, looking for some advise. My girlfriend of four years told me we should just be friends about 2 weeks ago. She has broken up with me 3 times now and came begging back every time. Of course I love her and her son to death so I take her back every time. It starts out amazing then after about 4 months she slowly drifts away until she calls it quits on me. Every time she briefly sees another guy but always realized she screwed up and comes back. I treat her so good, cook for her, make her lunch for work, do laundry, help with cleaning, help her with her son. He is like my own. I am always there for her no matter what and it just kills me because I can’t figure out why she can’t just love me and appreciate me for what and who I am. She is seeing another guy again right away. I truly believe she has a major case of GIAG. So, do I fight as hard as I can to get over her? I’ve never given up on her once and not sure I can but it hurts to hold on. Is there hope for her or is she never going to change. She is 37 and never been married and continues to live undecided in relationships. Thanks for your help! Also, our dog a female Laborer is expected to have a litter of puppies in about two weeks. Should I try no contact for two weeks and then ask her if she would like to be part of the birthing process? Hopefully it would spark something? Or just continue to hold out? Thank you again!

    2. EGR Team Member: Amor

      April 7, 2016 at 11:30 am

      Hi Aaron,
      sorry for the late reply..did you do nc?

    3. EGR Team Member: Amor

      April 7, 2016 at 11:30 am

      Hi Aaron,
      sorry for the late reply..did you do nc?

  28. Andre

    March 27, 2016 at 7:00 pm

    Hi Amor,
    So ok. My girlfriend of about 2 year s and i broke up the 17th of january. She was hurt by a decision i made, which hurt her insecurieties. One of her biggest ones, one that i had nothing to really do with but didnt help make go away. Well the decision wasnt done out of hurt to her, it was only till this time apart that i realized it was because of me. I felt like i couldnt have a life. One where i could hang out with friends. Realizing it now i let my frustration out on her and this fight tho small compared to others was what would break the camels back. It was gonna happen regardless. We spoke a bit for a week after trying to keep things as friends however she found it difficult. She has always felt that she wasnt enough for me, that she wasnt what i wanted. In the first week i was a gnat. Desperate and texting all the time. During the month i would text maybe a couple of texts every weekend. My family who i havent been in contact with for 3 years had contacted me during out relationship but in that month things were bad with a situation they were dealinf with. I need support and she is that supoort. I felt alone dealing with that. After her birthday (the 9th of feb.) It seemed she blocked my number after i sent pictures of my conversations with my parents about her. Shes always felt that they wouldnt like her. However after hearing about her courage to let me go even tho loving me, they thought she was a great girl for me. Thinking back on it, it wasnt a great idea. So i stopped texting for a bit to go into 21 days. I was in a stable mindset and decided to set up a meeting to get something, closure, hope. Anything. So i went to her work so i knew she wouldnt ignore it and she couldnt look at me. She gave me a small look snd her manager came and asked me to just head out. Not to cause any drama. Under the situation and being there lik that i dont blame them for thestmindset. So

    1. Andre

      March 27, 2016 at 7:09 pm

      So i set the meeting by writing a letter and leaving it on her car. Just simple saying i would really apreciate ut if she showed up at this place 3 days from that day. I would be there st this time. She didnt show. Its been over a month since then. Im working up on 2 now. I know she hasnt given up on me, one becauss of how shes reacting to all this. By ignoring me and two because she didnt let go because she fell out of love ore because we had a huge fight. Or even a relationship destroying reason like cheating. Ive had a friend thru all of this heloing me keep a stable mind. Was against a lot of my ideas at getting her back and against me visiting. Hes told me to wait another month or 2 to even try. To give her soace. Thatll end up 5 month out of relationship. I get her needing time. One for herself and to help her insecurieties. I was foolish to have done what i did. I get that i didnt help st all. I do really love this girl. Shes 21 and im 22. I had been looking at engagement rings before all this hapoened and ive never been surer of whom i want to marry. However i dont know how i get her to see i havent given up on her, on us or that i do love her and want her. Imma wait i bit longer because in rhe scheme of things a month of me not contacting does seem like a short time to get thru things. If you have any reason tho not too please do tell. Or what else i should do and how to begin to even get back into contact her. I know you guys have a lot of posts on different situations however none really apply to mind. I have to take little things from all of them. Our 2 year aniversary is next month on the 23rd. I know even doing anything then would be relationship suicide. I need help.

    2. EGR Team Member: Amor

      April 7, 2016 at 11:08 am

      Hi Andre,

      sorry for the late reply.. Try to miss call her just to check if you’re really blocked, if you are then that means you have to wait it out.. set a limit on until when you would wait before you decide to move on

    3. EGR Team Member: Amor

      April 7, 2016 at 11:09 am

      Hi Andre,

      sorry for the late reply.. Try to miss call her just to check if you’re really blocked, if you are then that means you have to wait it out.. set a limit on until when you would wait before you decide to move on

  29. Nicholas

    March 26, 2016 at 5:23 pm

    Hi Chris and Team,
    Me and my ex split up in the middle of January. She said she didn’t love me anymore, but still wanted to be close to me and to be friends. I did the typical begging, pleading, etc. and it failed. I tried to be friends with her for a while, then stumbled across the no contact rule. I tried it for a while, then failed after a few days when she responded very negatively to me ignoring her.
    Her and I ended up hanging out her and there for the next month. I tried again to get space and time, but my dad went to the hospital and she came to support me. A few weeks after, my father passed away, and again she came to support me. I felt confused about what was going on or what to do – she held my hand and talked with me that night. Later that same week, she said “we should hang out!” – but when we hung out, I was still a bit of an emotional mess. It seemed like her interest in me made a nose dive after that. She started texting me a lot less. After a couple weeks, we went to see a movie and I could sense she was very distant. I gave her a kind note (nothing overly romantic) to which she said, “the note was sweet, but I don’t want you to get your hopes up about anything.” I replied with graciousness, then the next day told her I was in too much pain, haven’t been myself for a long time, and needed space and time for myself, then began following the no contact rule and the plan in the Exgirlfriend Recovery Pro.
    It’s been almost two weeks now since I started NC and I haven’t heard from her at all. It’s so different from the first NC I tried – did I miss my chance?
    Also, today is my father’s memorial service. I don’t know if she’ll be here, but she might. Should I remain calm and kind as the recovery plan suggests?
    I wasn’t sure how much the recovery plan applies to my situation where I’m grieving the loss of a relationship and a parent.
    Anything helps.

    1. EGR Team Member: Amor

      April 7, 2016 at 6:10 am

      HI Nicholas,

      We sincerely give our condolences to you and your family. How are you now?

  30. Doug

    March 20, 2016 at 9:26 pm

    Hi guys,

    I’ve put in the effort to re-connect with my ex girlfriend over the last 3-4 months. We’ve started seeing each other more frequently but without the kissing and sex. However, I fear things have now declined as my ex girlfriend is now taking a LOT longer to respond to messages.

    I feel I need to make a move on our next ‘date’, with either kissing her or by asking her whether this is becoming something however I’m struggling to think of what words to use when I do ask her. Can you help? Or is this not the best strategy?

    1. EGR Team Member: Amor

      March 21, 2016 at 3:08 pm

      Hi Doug,

      yeah be mkre flirty deifinitely, but don’t jump right in to sex.. choose a more romantic place compared to the last one

    2. Doug

      March 21, 2016 at 10:51 pm

      Thanks Amor. However, given her currently ‘coldness’ towards me via messaging, what do you suggest to bring her back out of her shell?

    3. Doug

      March 24, 2016 at 10:24 am

      Amor, thanks for the help. However, how do I over her “coldness” with replying to messages? Is there anything I can say to have her come out of her shell?

    4. EGR Team Member: Amor

      April 6, 2016 at 10:32 am

      hi doug,
      sorry for the late reply… try to be more caring with the texts and then some humor too

  31. Mak

    March 20, 2016 at 7:28 am

    Hey Amor. The girl I was with ended things a week ago. Things turned really sour just over the span of two days and it felt so sudden and abrupt that I’m just finding it really difficult to process. She’s the first and only girl I’ve ever been with. We became best friends for a couple of months before opening up to each other about our feelings. We were together for almost a year, and had plans for the future from the get-go. We even brought our families into the loop last year, and they became really involved in the relationship. I know there was a lot of love between us. I still do love her a lot. Her father opposed the union, even though he told me he would never force a decision on any of his children. She graduated from college last year, and I still have a year to go. To kickstart our plans from the moment I graduate, I started working at a really reputable company, alongside school. I was hoping that the experience could help me find a good job as soon as I receive my bachelors degree. It came with a catch though, the pressure of working full time and studying. I started growing very frustrated with things and began taking it out on people in my personal life, rather than channeling it out properly by venting. She began to feel like I was growing unhappy with the relationship and doubting her stance towards it. The last week was very difficult for me. I had midterms and I was really stressed with work pressure. I hadn’t been sharing my problems with her, so she began feeling like I was ghosting her out. I wrote her a long text late one night, explaining everything, and made the mistake of adding that I wasn’t up for sharing with her because we’re recovering from a rough patch (the mellowness in our relationship ever since I started work). She replied with a reactive message which worried me. I called her the next day and she said it isn’t fair on me to have to take on so much pressure because of keeping her in the picture for my future; and likewise it isn’t fair on her to have to deal with the pressure from her father when I’m clearly doubting her. I tried my best to clear things out but she kept replying with an “I’m not convinced”. She said life’s very different when you’re done with school and I wouldn’t understand that. Her family is pressuring her into marriage and there have been many lucrative proposals rejected because of our relationship. Where I live, girls are of maritable age only until 24, and she’s 23 now. Her family wants to see her with an established man, not someone coming into life fresh off the boat. Over the break up call, I kept asking her to meet me, so that I could clear things out but she refused. I only used to get Sunday’s available to be able to see her, and today it’s been exactly two weeks since I last met her. Her mother met mine the day after the break up and said her father has requested that I don’t contact her in any way. He said I’m a nice guy but it just won’t work out. I feel like if she got her father involved right after the call with me, then she clearly wasn’t up for taking it forward with me any longer. What I don’t understand is that three days prior to the call, she told me she loves me. But on the phone she said she doesn’t know anymore. I’ve respected her and her family’s wishes by maintaining the no contact rule for the past week. It’s been a very very difficult week for me, and I’m not getting any better by the day. I think of calling her every night because I feel that it can fix things. I’m giving her space in the hopes that she might reconsider, but I feel like she’s already halfway or more through the process of getting over me. She might even already have accepted a wedding proposal to completely shut me out. Should I have an hopes at all for the future? I’ve been too emotionally invested into this, and I’m extremely confused about what to do. I really want her back

    1. EGR Team Member: Amor

      March 20, 2016 at 1:48 pm

      Hi Mak,

      for me you should really talk to her..especially now since you already did two weeks no contact..I hope by now she’s more open to listening to you..at least by then you would know if you ahould really move on

  32. Grant

    March 19, 2016 at 5:53 pm

    Hey, me and my girlfriend (of 2 years) broke up last August/October. It was pretty much mutual at the time as we had just seemed to hit a rut. Prior to this, we had talked about a future together.

    Shortly after that, I had second thoughts, did “NC” but never made it thru the entire time before she would send me a text. We talked about getting back together but she mentioned that we would have to overcome trust issues and “get the physical chemistry” back and there were no guarantees with that. Recently, we started hanging out, dinner, her making dinner at my place and even spending the night (she had her 4-yo son with her), but nothing physical taking place. She texted within the last couple of weeks about being “kid free” and wanting to know if I wanted to meet for drinks. We did but she had a major headache from the get go and the night ended early. The next day she did come over, made dinner, and hung out for awhile before leaving late. Since then, things have went a little cold, still texting but she seems indifferent.

    My question, where do I go from here? I never tried to initiate physical contact during those times (other than a hug at the end) as I figured she was wanting to take things slow. Should I have acted differently. Can’t say I got the vibe that she wanted me to initiate anything, I did give her a foot massage and neck massage while watching tv (her son was in the other room) which she was receptive to. I want to get the relationship back but if not, I need to completely move on, as I can’t think of seeing anyone else with the possibility of getting back with her. She is my best friend and she has said likewise, I’m still physically attracted to her, as much as ever. Any advice is appreciated!!

    1. EGR Team Member: Amor

      March 20, 2016 at 12:49 pm

      Hi Grant,

      did it get boring? If you ask her again to meet up, would she go?

    2. Grant

      March 20, 2016 at 5:52 pm

      Okay, last night we were working in close proximity to each other….she texted me and asked me to “come say hi”…..did so, and then asked her if she wanted to get together after work….said she did, but she had her son and wanted to go sometime when he wasn’t around….she said she wanted “adult conversation”…..seems like she wants to get back, maybe scared or some uncertainty….don’t know why else she would ask me to swing by to see her….next move?

    3. Grant

      March 20, 2016 at 5:53 pm

      And no, when we’ve hung out, I’ve never been bored, and she didn’t seem bored either

    4. EGR Team Member: Amor

      March 21, 2016 at 2:23 pm

      okay, that’s good if you’re going to have the talk I really hope she goes back with you, if not.. assess if you just need to assure her but if not, make it clear how it’s going to be from that point..but I really hope, she gives it a chance and then you just step it up by being more flirty

  33. chenny

    March 16, 2016 at 4:40 am

    Hi Chris and Amor my girlfriend broke up with me recently, for what reason i don’t know. But i text her a thanks you text and did the NC rule, then all of the sudden she reply me back with appreciating me for what i done for her and she told me find a better girl and she said to give her my address so she can sent me back the stuff i gave her. Shes in college during the exam when i kept texting and calling and she ignored everything and she never had time. and im still in my NC rule didn’t talk to her yet. She said during the break up she doesn’t like me anymore as a boyfriend and i kinda annoy her, should i give her space during the NC and try to contact her?

    1. EGR Team Member: Amor

      March 16, 2016 at 12:04 pm

      Hi Chenny,

      Sorry for the late reply.. If she said she’s annoyed with your texts abd calls then definitely do nc.. do an active no contact… improve yourself anf be active in posting in social media..don’t post anything relating to her or the relationahip..

    2. chenny

      March 17, 2016 at 1:50 am

      I’m still thinking whatever she told me during the breakup was true, she doesn’t like me anymore or never thought about me even once the time gap that happen was (2/15 to 3/10). She the strong will type. I don’t know if i can get back with her. I really love her. Right now im thinking about 45 days. what my next step? I’m worrying about the text she sent me regarding the stuff that she want to return to me when i gave her for christmas and her birthday. we been in a relationship for nearly a year, we went to canada twice. Hope there a chance

    3. EGR Team Member: Amor

      March 18, 2016 at 6:22 am

      Maybe she just said that because she was annoyed…with your gifts, let it be for now.. she probably just said that out of being annoyed too..i’d go for 45 days too and make it seem you’re moving on, so she’ll think you won’t be bothering her

  34. Vince

    March 12, 2016 at 10:34 pm

    So me and my ex broke up a few days after New Years 2016, after being together for a year and a half. I ended up begging/pleading for her not too (for a little less than a week), but she had made up her mind at the time, so I just went into NC for almost 2 months. She did not message me once during this time period at all. I finally decided to open back up contact about two weeks ago, and she sounded excited to talk to me again (through text). We brought up stuff about what had happened in those weeks of NC (although I never told her I would be in NC), and she sounded genuinely happy to hear from me again. Two weeks later, I messaged her again, but she would reply with “oh”s etc so I assumed she wasn’t that interested, so I just asked if she was busy, and she just said yeah, so we just ended the conversation there. The next day, I messaged her again, and this time we ended up talking for almost an hour through text. I know I should have ended the conversation at a high point, but we were both into it at the time so we just kept on talking, until she said she had to go do something. Again, this time she sounded pretty happy to hear from me. In fact, this conversation felt like how we would talk back when we were still together (inside jokes, talking about our families, etc). But throughout all this time, it has always been me initiating the conversation, and I feel like I’m just digging myself into the friendzone by doing this. Any suggestions? Since I’ve reinitiated contact, we haven’t brought up our relationship or the breakup. We originally broke up because she said she lost interest in me, but during that NC period, I started working on myself to be better, so I’m hoping she has noticed, but I think it’s way too optimistic for me to think that she could regain back interest just like that… How should I proceed from here? Thanks!

    1. EGR Team Member: Amor

      March 13, 2016 at 11:44 am

      Hi Vince,

      it’s ok that you’re initiating contact. It’s more important that you have an engaging topic and that you end it in a high note to create a feeling of wanting to talk with you again.. build enough rapport to get to calls…coz that’s the purpose of texting.. take it slow..don’t rush

    2. Vince

      March 13, 2016 at 8:02 pm

      Thanks for the reply. Is there any way to know the difference between if she’s just being friendly or if she might be reconsidering breaking up with me? I feel like the fact that it’s always me initiating contact is just a sign that she sees me as a friend only. In our talks, there wasn’t any common indications of her regretting the breakup (like her talking about the old times, our future, etc). I think I should also mention that she has a lot of family and school pressure in her life that made her feel like she wasn’t ready for a relationship at this time (that’s what she told me at least). She said she probably won’t be dating for a while, maybe until she finishes up college. But she also told me that even when she’s ready again, she doesn’t see us getting back together. It probably does sound like an excuse, but it is kinda true that her family made it really difficult for me and her to be together, and I can kind of understand why it had stressed her out to the point of not wanting to be in a relationship.

    3. EGR Team Member: Amor

      March 16, 2016 at 6:52 am

      She won’t be engaging in your talks if wants to stop talking again.. if interest was the main reason for the breakup, then you have to build that now.. but if it’s really school, then you’ll probably know that when she’s starting to be attracted again because she will make it clear that she can’t go back with you

    4. Vince

      March 18, 2016 at 11:52 pm

      So my ex decided to unadd me from fb (which I used to text/message her). We haven’t talked in about a week because I didn’t want to be messaging her constantly and because I wanted to see if she would message me for once. This is also the third time she has done this (the first two times, I asked her why she unadded me, then she would add me back). It was actually after I asked her why she unadded me the second time that we got back in contact, which was about 2 months after we broke up. What should I do?

    5. EGR Team Member: Amor

      March 20, 2016 at 12:21 pm

      I think she did that because you didn’t contact her.. so you would ask her why she unfriended you.. let’s wait for a week now if she notices that you’re not going to ask her this time

    6. Vince

      March 21, 2016 at 6:13 am

      Alright, thanks for all the replies. If she doesn’t reply in a week, what should I do though? The first two times it happened, I messaged her back asking why, and she usually came up with some excuse as to why but would eventually add me back after I kinda talked to her about it. But these were almost bitter sounding talks and I definitely don’t want to end up sounding bitter… How should I proceed?

    7. EGR Team Member: Amor

      March 21, 2016 at 3:39 pm

      You’re welcome..I think you need to be honest with her by then.. but be kind .tell her, “I understand if you can’t talk to me right now, but I just want to be clear on how you’re feeling about our friendship, so I won’t be hurting you further or how am I hurting you in any way?”
      you can rephrase that in a a way that you know she will listen more

    8. Vince

      March 25, 2016 at 12:23 am

      OK, so I messaged her back today, asking if I was bothering her. She said no, so I asked what was the unfriending about. She said something like: it’s nothing really. But…. she said that she needs some space and that she will re-add me back later. Again, I asked if this is because I bother her and she said no. After this, she said she was busy and that she would talk to me later. I tried to be as understanding and neutral during this conversation, which was maybe about a few minutes long. I’m guessing I should head back into NC? What’s really confusing me about this is that fact that she was the one who broke up with me over the fact that she lost interest… so I’m not really sure why she’s acting like she is the one who got hurt and needed space. I feel like she’s just trying to get rid of me from her life, which is weird since during the breakup, she kept insisting that she hopes we can be friends and that I could still help her with stuff (which of course I declined before heading into what was almost 2 months NC).

    9. EGR Team Member: Amor

      April 7, 2016 at 4:52 am

      It can mean she still doesn’t have that much interest. How are things now?

    10. Vince

      April 12, 2016 at 3:58 am

      OK, so she messaged me back today, and added me, and we chatted for a while. Again ,we just kind of caught up with what has been going on recently in our lives. I made sure to include talking about how I’ve been going out more, meeting more people and being social (which I didn’t really do before, so I think that made me seem uninteresting to her). We didn’t mention our past relationship, or why she needed space. But even more confusing… her friend (which helped us get together) unadded me from fb too maybe a week before today. Not sure how I should proceed

    11. EGR Team Member: Amor

      April 12, 2016 at 4:32 am

      That’s good, just contnue to talk abd build rapport

  35. Nicholas

    March 7, 2016 at 8:31 pm

    So a week or 2 after the breakup I meet up with my ex for some closure(she broke up with me in the hospital, ik what a jerk). Then I started the no contact rule… but cracked and called her after 2 weeks. It was a perfectly good talk and I acted pretty much like I was over her. Except she did act like she didn’t want any relationships at all for a year or two. Should I be worried about that? Also I started back over with NC and it has been a week. I already feel like I’m going to crack. Would it be harmful since I had not contacted her for those two weeks before? I’ve been posting pics of me having fun at the bar and hanging with a girl that she absolutely hates! I wish it was summer so I could post more fun pictures but I’m working with what I’ve got.

    1. Nicholas

      March 7, 2016 at 8:36 pm

      Also, I should say she did text me a few days ago. I didn’t respond. So maybe it’s cool if I text her? I did tell her when I called that she should text me sometime…. so maybe that’s the reason why she texted me.

    2. Nicholas

      March 7, 2016 at 8:41 pm

      Oh and we were high school sweet hearts and dated for 5 years. So I could see why she would want independence for a few years. I was having medical issues (completely gone now) and am very fit and good looking. She said the medical stuff had nothing to do with the break up… but I feel like it did. She even said “i know this sounds really cliche but it really is me and not you” Do you think that she actually wants to just not date in general for a long while? or what? Sorry for all the questions, i guess I just really need the guidance so I don’t make a stupid mistake.

    3. EGR Team Member: Amor

      March 10, 2016 at 4:02 pm

      Hi Nicholas,

      since you’re still in nc, you must not reply to her.. and I think there’s a chance, 5 years is long and the relationship must have just gotten boring for her.. So, continue on being active in nc, to make her miss you more.. And I think she will 🙂 Let’s hope for the best Nicholas and keep being postive!

  36. Yazan

    March 4, 2016 at 10:48 am

    Hey Chris,
    My Girlfriend Broke up with me after 7 years , because i cheated on her, and the worst part is that am not the person who told her that , she found out i don’t know how but she did.. so i tried sending her letter apologizing and flowers we broke up on 13 February the next day was valentine so i send her a letter that i wrote and some flowers ! after she read the letter she came to me and we talked for a 20 min! she think that she could not stay with me because of what i did she told me it’s over i forgive you for this but i cant be with you again ! every time i see you i keep thinking about you cheating on me! and then i told her that i would prove my love for her and then she left without saying anything!! i tried to contact her by her friends but i think her friends dont want us to get back together maybe they hate me or something! and then she send me a message telling me to stop sending her friends or calling them !! and then i started the NC after 1 week she send me a message ” I hate you ” but i didn’t respond ! she got my Facebook password she opens it daily between 11-11:30 Pm i didnt change the pass but i deactivated my Facebook and after i read this i got it back !! so i am still in the no contact period !! what should i do now ! i really love her and i want her back !! it was a mistake that i did !! plus i changed my number so that the one i cheated with her wont call me back or somthing and i blocked her from Fb and everything that could possibly contact me through !! Please help me i really want to know if there is any chance getting back to her

    1. EGR Team Member: Amor

      March 5, 2016 at 11:36 am

      Hi Yazan,

      well you really have to be patient because it’s going to be a lot of work and time.. Chris made a post about that…here it is and click to open..
      How to get your ex girlfriend back if you cheated on her

  37. Jayrald

    March 2, 2016 at 9:48 pm

    Yes I have tried NC. But just to let you know, i broke attempts of NC twice. Then Successfully did a 21 day no contact. I have plans of giving her scrapbook of our memories by the end of the schoolyear knowing that she might go to Canada this year

    1. EGR Team Member: Amor

      March 3, 2016 at 4:15 pm

      if she’s not replying much..guage hiw she is acting around you at school.. if you bump at her, just do a casual greet then walk away.. or smile briefly the look away or walk away of she doesn’t reacy nicely then that means you have to distance yourself physically and in texts as well because she’s not comfortable interacting with you yet

    2. Jayrald

      March 3, 2016 at 9:31 pm

      I didnt communicate with her for 6 days, Should i make an attempt to text her? If yes, what do you think of my starting message? “I need your opinion on something”

    3. EGR Team Member: Amor

      March 4, 2016 at 8:35 am

      the best way to tell if it’s ok to text her, is how she is with you at school.. check that first..if it’s alright..you can send that text 🙂

    4. Jayrald

      March 4, 2016 at 1:29 pm

      We dont talk anymore and we just pretend to be strangers. Shouldn’t I take the slow approach by texting her? After all, i did 6 days no contact and her exams are over 🙂

    5. EGR Team Member: Amor

      March 5, 2016 at 12:15 pm

      actually I think that’s too soon, but if you think texting first than gauging her reaction at school works better for her,go ahead..:)

    6. Jayrald

      March 6, 2016 at 6:48 am

      Im planning to apologize to her with a scrapbook. Next week is when ill work on it.

    7. Jayrald

      March 7, 2016 at 8:00 am

      Is it a good idea?

  38. George

    March 2, 2016 at 11:47 am

    I tried making the topics interesting but her replies tend to be a lot slower

    1. EGR Team Member: Amor

      March 2, 2016 at 12:33 pm

      have you tried to do nc?

  39. Frank

    March 1, 2016 at 5:57 pm

    Amor, i’m doing NC for a week now and my ex didn’t try to reach me out. I posted some generic stuff about the Oscar in a friends page and she like it, and posted something about too. Does this mean anything?

    1. EGR Team Member: Amor

      March 2, 2016 at 9:08 am

      I read your previous post too.. Yes, nc should be active..that means aside from posting those kind of stuff you should be active in improving yourself, doing other activities and posting the activities that you’re doing.. when you get back to school, continue nc by keeping your distance and only talking if really needed and not talking about feelings or anythig related to the relationship

    2. FRANK

      March 2, 2016 at 10:57 am

      Thanks, Amor (I love your name by the way, i’m portuguese means “love”). I’ve been a smoker for 6 years and finally found the
      strength to quit, I also started GYM, something that always scared me because I was too shy and couldn’t do without my ex, and I really enjoyed doing new things (I never really left my comfort zone ). In the breakup, I was the one who had to say to her that she didn’t love me anymore, and she realized that was true.

    3. EGR Team Member: Amor

      March 2, 2016 at 12:27 pm

      Thanks Frank! Yes, it’s a funny coincidence with what I’m doing now.. well, that’s good..at least realized and agreed with you

  40. Harry

    March 1, 2016 at 10:46 am

    Hey guys, my girlfriend of three years broke up with me one week ago claiming she didn’t love me anymore, our relationship wasn’t good for one or two months, she didn’t even feel like having sex anymore, and refuses fondling and cuddling, things that she used to love. I was miserable in the first two days and begged her to come back in these days and now I know it was a mistake, I even told her I could change, and all she said is that I don’t need to, and I shouldn’t because the problem was her, not me. She probably lost her attraction because I was too needy and immature, i couldn’t do things on my own and always ask her to help me. She is kinda independent a see things differently from most girls. When we broke up, she said that she still cares about me, and she knew that she was putting me in a dark place with the breakup but her love was gone, she only sees me as a close friend. I started the no contact rule and I’m changing my life to better, I think the “good” part of the breakup is that i’m finally getting mature and growing up, I used to refuse getting out of my comfort zone, now I think it can be good and i’m putting a lot of effort into this. Yesterday i posted something generic about the Oscar on my friends page, and she leave a like on my post. I don’t know why she did that, if was just a simple like, she missing me or she was simple trying to be friendly. Should I keep doing things like this in order to make her miss me? Her class and mine starts today, she will have more time to occupy her head, but she tends to be a little more lonely when she gets home. How can I use this in my advantage? Thanks, and I’m sorry if I wrote some mistakes, english is not my main language.

  41. Vinni

    February 29, 2016 at 11:08 am

    My girlfriend broke up with me after a 6 Year long relationship, By saying she does not love me anymore.I have done everything to get her back And she knows i am having a very hard time accepting that decision.Then she told me that she can’t leave me at this situation ,and she agrees to talk to me,But she told me that I am now just a friend to Her nothing more,and if i am having difficulty talking to her,and in touch with her.than we should not talk and End everything.

    1. EGR Team Member: Amor

      March 2, 2016 at 8:00 am

      Hi Vinni,

      so she means she would stay as friends until you move on… do you consider doing nc?

  42. Steve

    February 28, 2016 at 9:10 pm

    So my ex broke up with me a week after we had a talk about how much we missed one another and how we’d get through this time of not seeing each other and she said she lost feelings for me. I was shocked because it sounded like she made her decision in a week. I did no contact and then during no contact she blocked me, then unblocked me. We began to talk and I had a really fun time with her at a field trip and I thought everything was getting better. Then next day, my Facebook account gets hacked and sends random family member requests to my friends one of them being her. I announce that my account has been hacked and I tell every person that I was hacked including her. She was like oh okay and then i just was like yup sorry, bye. Next day she blocks me and I’m confused on why she would when like I was clearly hacked. I’m doubting that she did it because of that? What are some reasons she would block me all of a sudden other than the family request? Is it possible that having fun with me reminded her of the good times with me and she started missing that and seeing me began to make her feel pain again because she feels like she lost something great? She thinks I have moved on and maybe she thinks that means she has ruined something great? I know I should give her space and do some more no contact regardless but what is the reason for this???? Also it has been 2 months since the breakup timeline was 45 days of no contact, and then i worked on slowly building rapport through texting and then all that stuff happened. I feel like my ex is acting crazy.

    1. EGR Team Member: Amor

      March 2, 2016 at 6:24 am

      Hi Steve,

      maybe she got confused with invite.. You began to talk right? was that after 45 days of nc?

  43. CTE

    February 28, 2016 at 8:23 pm

    Should I do a full NC all over again. I did NC for 21 days I reached out and I got a positive response. I did the tide text messaging. My ex thought I wasn’t getting her text messages. She unblocked my number and texted me letting me know that she got my text messages, but was wondering if I was getting hers. When I let her know that I was she got upset. I hate being on bad terms with her so I became a gnat. I know I shouldn’t have done that, but I couldn’t help myself. Now she’s blocked my number again and won’t talk to me. Next time when I reach out, should I reach out through a letter?

    1. EGR Team Member: Amor

      March 2, 2016 at 5:51 am

      Hi Cte,

      whu did she ask that? How did you end the convos?

    2. CTE

      March 2, 2016 at 12:09 pm

      She asked that bc she blocked me before and I text her through some fake number but she knows it is me. I would start the convo by asking a interesting question then I would just not respond when she responded. I really need help bc I love that girl

    3. EGR Team Member: Amor

      March 2, 2016 at 12:36 pm

      oh okay.. maybe she misinterpreted it.. try to text again next time.. bu before ending or the last text should mention that you’re busy, or you’re kn the road..something that would make her understand why you stopped replying…

    4. CTE

      March 2, 2016 at 12:49 pm

      One more thing Amor should I do a full NC or wait a week or two and let it calm down

    5. EGR Team Member: Amor

      March 3, 2016 at 3:05 pm

      just wait a week…

  44. Jacky Chan 23

    February 28, 2016 at 8:45 am

    Dear Amor,
    I have explained earlier that the girl I love ask me for a space, so I tried to gave her space by doing NC. However, in the process she was chased by other guy and right now she dated and closer to that guy then I have been with her previously. I am in the middle of the NC (this is the second week), what should I do? I did the NC hoping that she will miss me or at least allow us to start over in good terms. With this external factor? What should I do? I don’t want to lose her to another guy

    1. EGR Team Member: Amor

      February 28, 2016 at 5:23 pm

      Yeah, I remember you were the one who asked about how to be valuable. Are you working on it? If you are, there’s a good chance she will compare you to him, especially after you gave her space and your improvements.. They may get into the honeymoon stage, but once it wears off and you stay positive will, she will most probably have the grass is greener syndrome and compare you to him

  45. Dave

    February 27, 2016 at 7:55 pm

    Hi Chris and Amor. Really good article! My ex broke up with me about 7 or 8 weeks ago (a week after New Years) , we have been dating for about 14 weeks from the first first date. She said that she didn’t think we were on the right page and that she wasn’t sure that we make a good couple. She also said that with her work’s workload and hermaster modules and work deadline coming up, i was too much of a distraction and that she can’t deal with all the emotions as it was affecting her. Anyway i agreed with breaking up and said that i was fine if we stay as friends. We stayed in contact and still text as we were still going out for about 2-3 weeks. About 3 weeks after breaking up, she said she misses hanging out with me, so we went out and had coffee and walked in the park. I can tell she got jealous once as i spoke to her friend and she started to stroke my hand. About a week or two she started to act really cold, distant and became really sarcastic (horrible one) with the conversations with me. Her text replies became really simple as in couple of words. We go to the same gym and in the corner of my eye i can see she would be smiling at me, but when i turn my head and look at her she would automatic wipe the smile off. Some of my friends has said she is trying move on. She is moving to another gym soon so it will make NC easier. My question is do i have chance with getting back with her because she is really distant and cold towards me and she hasn’t replied to my last two texts.

    1. Dave

      February 28, 2016 at 10:44 am

      She is off to another city for a week so that she can take her master’s module exam and do a presentation tomorrow. I was thinking of sending a text to wish her luck and say “Hope you left extra room in your luggage so that you can accidentally buy a pair of heels back ;-)” She loves shoes, hopefully this will plant a seed in her mind during her trip. After the message i will go into 30 days of NC.

    2. EGR Team Member: Amor

      February 28, 2016 at 4:37 pm

      Hi Dave,

      If she’s distant now, then it’s timely to do nc.. There’s a chance.. Leverage this nc to attract her back.. Improve yourself and be active about it social media.. Well, don’t bluntly you’re improving yourself..Just post photos of what you’ve been doing lately.. Don’t make it too forward that you’re doing it for her and for improvement.. Just make it a casual post.

  46. Jayrald

    February 27, 2016 at 1:44 pm

    Hi Chris! I broke up with my ex 2 months ago due to my insecurities and me being overly emotional a lot of times thats why she lost her feelings for me after the 10 month relationship. I made my chances worse by writing overemotional messages. We were cool after the breakup but then yah i had to write those messages. She ignored me the following months although i did manage to talk to her in a school activity once though. She doesnt text me or tries to make contact. I already did no contact and texted her and follow your guidelines but she seems uninterested. Any Advice?

    1. EGR Team Member: Amor

      February 27, 2016 at 3:10 pm

      Hi Jayrald,

      Maybe it was too much for her.. if you said you made the changes, how do you approach or react to each other in school?

    2. Jayrald

      February 27, 2016 at 11:29 pm

      When we are at the same place, we try to not make eye contact as possible. I really wanted to talk to her but then I guess she’ll try to avoid any contact towards me. We never really got a chance to talk like a legit convo up until now

    3. EGR Team Member: Amor

      February 28, 2016 at 5:06 pm

      If she’s not really ready to talk it.. don’t push it.. give her more space

    4. Jayrald

      February 28, 2016 at 9:27 pm

      Okay, thanks Amor. Im done with my no contact and her examinations are happening right now. Is it okay if I dont contact her for like 5 days? I chat with her a lot but she only got interested at the first and second convos. The rest of it is that she wasnt really interested.

    5. EGR Team Member: Amor

      March 2, 2016 at 6:26 am

      if it’s better not to text her because of her exams yes… was the topics interesting for her or it was just an interesting topic itsekf and you tried if she would be interested too?

  47. Tony Stark

    February 27, 2016 at 12:53 pm

    Good article. I’ve often been wondering this myself. It’s been 2.5 months since the breakup and the past 2 months my ex has made no attempt at reaching out to me at all. In fact, as far as I know, I am still on a full block. I’m on day 24 of the NC Period and I’m starting to get a little discouraged, but I’m not ready to throw in the towel just yet. What we had was magic and nothing bad ever happened between us but I also want to be realistic in my expectations since I have no way of communicating with her and she’s not making any attempt to reach out to me.