By Chris Seiter

Updated on October 26th, 2022

You don’t really want know if your ex girlfriend is thinking about you, right?

I mean, I am sure you do but lets imagine that I answered your question (which I will) and that’s it.

This page would literally be one word long.

Something tells me that you wouldn’t be too appreciative of that.

That’s why this page isn’t just going to be about answering the question of if your ex girlfriend is thinking about you. It’s also going to be about HOW to get her to think about you.

Look at that!

You just hit the lottery since we are going to kill two birds with one stone here.

First things first, lets end the build up and get straight to the reason that you are here.

Is Your Ex Girlfriend Thinking About You At This Very Moment?

thinking meme

This is actually a pretty interesting question but only if you really dive in deep.

On the surface it’s easy for me to answer but that’s not the interesting part. Where things start to get interesting is when you take a look at what your ex girlfriend is thinking about you (assuming she is.)

First, lets answer if your ex girlfriend is thinking about you.

Now, the thing you have to understand about me is that I am not a bullshitter like the other people you will meet out there.

If I don’t think you have a chance of getting an ex back or if you do something wrong I will be the first to let you know about it. In addition I also don’t make outrageous claims without evidence to back it up (most of the time.)

And this is one of those situations that calls for me to have evidence to fall back on.

So, the question that you put forth is,

“Is my ex girlfriend thinking about me right now?”

My Answer = Yes… A LOT!

Lets look at what happens on a cellular level to a human brain that goes through a breakup.

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What Happens To A Brain After A Breakup


Lucy Brown, Ph.D.,a Professor in the Department of Neurology at Albert Einstein College of Medicine did an interesting test that yielded some shocking results. She took 15 students from the school that had just went through a breakup, sat them down, hooked them up to an MRI machine and started studying their brain activity.

She decided that the best way to do so was to show them pictures of their exes.

You won’t believe the part of the brain that lit up when the 15 students saw the pictures.

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Well, I don’t want to show off my use of $15 words here but…

There was activity in the ventral tegmental area, the nucleus accumbens and orbitofrontal/prefrontal cortex.

Ha ha ha ha…

You have no idea what that means do you?


Me either.

(I had to look it up.)

Here is what I found,

These areas are often associated with those who are going through a drug addiction. Thus, someone who is going through a breakup may be experiencing the same type of cravings (to get in touch with an ex) that a drug addict would be going through if they were going through a withdrawal period.

In other words, scientifically speaking there is a pretty good chance that your ex girlfriend is still thinking about you assuming the breakup is relatively recent.

But this probably isn’t enough for you is it?

No, you need overwhelming proof.

Ok, lets turn our attention from the brain to cold hard statistics and look at what they are saying.

What Statistics Say About An Ex Girlfriend Thinking About You

Man, there are a million different ways that I can approach this.

I think I will start with a fun statistic I found on Facebook creeping.

Now, if you aren’t aware of what “Facebook creeping” is the idea behind it is pretty darn simple.

Facebook Creeping = When you go through a breakup with an ex but keep an eye on their Facebook profile post breakup

You aren’t going to believe how many exes engage in this behavior.

Well, according to Veronika Lukacs, a University of Western Ontario graduate student, 90% of exes engage in this behavior.

Screen Shot 2016-02-08 at 3.47.21 PM

What does this mean to you?

Well, it means that there is a 90% chance that your ex girlfriend is going to stroll by your Facebook profile to “creep on it.” Now, lets do some creative thinking here.

If your ex girlfriend is going to stroll by your profile she has to be thinking about you, right?

But even I’ll admit that Facebook creeping isn’t exactly the be all end all when it comes to statistics about proving your ex girlfriend is thinking about you.

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This next one might be though.

How long do you think it takes the average person to get over a breakup?

Well, a new study posted by Daily Mail says that it takes an average of 17 months to full get over a divorce.

Now, I can see that, that might be a bit of an issue for our purposes because you were never married to your ex girlfriend and marriage is a much deeper type of a commitment than simply dating someone.

HOWEVER, I still think there is some valuable insight that you can take from this study.

The Insight = Breakups Take A While To Get Over

And if your trying to get over a breakup and failing then it’s probably because you are thinking about your ex a lot.

The Verdict

So, I just dropped three HUGE statistics/facts in your lap.

Fact #1- Your exes brain is going through breakup withdrawal similar to that of a drug addict.

Statistic #1– Close to 90% of people admit to spying on their exes post breakup.

Fact #2 – It takes a long time to get over a divorce so we can assume the same could be said of a breakup.

Here is the underlying truth I am trying to throw in your face.

Your ex girlfriend is thinking about you a lot.

But like I said when I first started this article, that’s only one of the questions you want answered.

Now that you know that your ex girlfriend is thinking about you how can you kick the intensity up a notch?

How To Make You Ex Girlfriend Think About You

Take a look at the graphic I just put together for you below,

make her think about you

This graphic is meant to represent the ways in which you can make your ex girlfriend think about you. To make this as easy as possible for you I have decided to divide it up into two separate sections.

  1. The Value Chain
  2. Indirect Methods

Now, I know it may not seem like a lot but trust me when I say that everything that these two methods is comprised of is A LOT!

Lets start with the value chain.

The Value Chain


I know…

I know…

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It seems that wherever you go you can’t get away from it.

But that should tell you how important this value chain is.

If you want to maximize your chances of getting your ex girlfriend back then you need a framework to work in and that is what the value chain provides for you. I can’t tell you how many time that I work with men and ask them,

“Ok, so what kind of plan do you have to get your ex girlfriend back (much less thinking about you?)

There response is usually something generic like,

“Well, I am going to follow your advice on the no contact rule and then hope for the best.”


If you are serious about this you need to have everything mapped out.


I was going to go nerdy with this analogy but upon writing I realized I might lose all credibility.


Oh what the hell…

Have you ever heard of the game called “Magic The Gathering.”

It’s a fantasy card game that has been dubbed as the “New Poker” by deadspin.

I used to be super into this game as a kid but I got out of it for maybe close to ten years. But recently I picked it back up after my wife told me that she liked the game (something I never knew about her.)

You see, I always thought hot women never liked nerdy stuff like that.

Anyways, after picking it up again I came to realize just how much strategy is involved behind this thing.

You play with a deck of 60 cards.

Which right away limits your options on what you can put in the deck. To make matters worse you are only allowed to have 4 types of one card in a deck (which again limits your options.)

So, when you construct a deck you have to think to yourself,

“Where is this deck weak?”

Because you obviously don’t want to lose.

So, what the professionals do (yes there are professionals in this game) is they map out every concievable possiblity of how the deck can lose and try to shore up the decks weaknesses as much as possible.

Well, that’s what the value chain is meant to do for you.

It’s meant to provide you with a roadmap of success.

Think of it like this,

value chain roadmap

The value chain will point you in the direction of point A and then to point B and then so on and so forth.

Now, if you are a little fuzzy on what a value chain is it’s actually quite simple. It’s used in sales to show the entire path a customer will take from when they walk in the door to where they pull out their money and purchase a product.

The idea behind it is that the customer is starting from a point where no value has been built and then the sales person has to come and move them up the value chain by providing… you guessed it, value.

In all honesty the value chain is a perfect representation of what we are trying to accomplish here since technically you are trying to “resell” yourself to your ex girlfriend.

It’s meant to guide you throughout the entire process of getting an ex back.

Now, where does making an ex girlfriend think about you fall here?

Well, it’s actually built in to the value chain. In other words, if you follow the value chain I have put together for you below you will properly maximize your chances of making your ex girlfriend think about you.

value chain roadmap

Your dying for me to break the value chain down for you, huh?

Well, I have done that on multiple occasions and have even written a book on it. So, I don’t think I’m going to go that in depth for you on the value chain right now. After all, this article isn’t meant to be about the value chain, it’s about how to maximize the chances that your ex girlfriend will think about you.

Take a look at the graphic below,

value chain roadmap

This graphic is meant to represent the mediums in which you can utilize to make your ex girlfriend think about you.

Ah sh*t… That’s all of them.

I guess I do have to through the value chain for you.

Alright, I guess we should start from the top.

Making Her Think About You During The No Contact Rule

Unless you’ve been living under a rock you probably know what the no contact rule is, right?

under a rock

Are you serious?


Fine… the no contact rule is a period of time where you ignore your ex on purpose. The idea behind implementing it is that it will give both of you time to level out emotionally and potentially make her miss you.

But how can you make her think about you during the no contact rule?

Well, there are a number of ways.

Lets start with the most obvious one.

The No Contact Rule And Reverse Psychology

You know what reverse psychology is, right?

It’s basically where you attempt to get a desired result by doing something that is the complete opposite of an action to get that desired result.

For example, if my wife came up to me right now and made a big deal about me not having enough money to buy her a present for her birthday what do you think I would do?

Well, I would go out and get her a gigantic present!

You see, she knew that I would react that way which is why she told me that I wouldn’t be able to afford to buy her a present.

She used reverse psychology to get a big present.

(Jennifer if you are reading this DO NOT DO THIS!)

Anyways, the no contact rule has ties to a couple of psychological principles that will make your ex girlfriend think about you with reverse psychology being one of those principles.

But it’s really the second psychological principle that you will want to hear about.

Psychological Reactance

Psychological reactance is a theory that essentially states that when someone loses their freedom to have something they find the thing they lost more attractive. Let’s do another example since I know how much you love those.

Lets pretend that we are talking to a male child who wants a cookie really, really badly.

We tell the him that he can’t have the cookie EVER.

What do you think that makes the him do?

It makes him want it even more to the point where he will do anything to get it.

Same principle here.

By utilizing the no contact rule you are essentially telling your ex girlfriend that she can’t have you.

The Result = She wants you more!

It’s an indirect way of making her think about you. Oh, and the coolest part is you literally don’t have to do anything.

Well, you do have to do the no contact rule but just by doing it you get this added benefit!

Pretty cool, right?

But you are looking for more indirect ways to interest your ex girlfriend, huh?

Well, with NC you definitely have a ton of time to utilize the following methods.

Indirect No Contact Actions


I made the point above that the no contact rule provides you with a huge asset,


But technically speaking time is only an asset if you use it in the correct way.

And that’s what I want to talk to you about now.

How to use the time you get with the no contact rule in the right way.

Currently on Ex Girlfriend Recovery I recommend three versions of the no contact rule,

  1. The 21 Day Rule
  2. The 30 Day Rule
  3. The 45 Day Rule

I will leave it up to Ex Girlfriend Recovery PRO to explain which rule you should use for your situation. Here’s what we need to talk about.

What indirect actions can you take during the time frame of the no contact rule to make your ex girlfriend think about you?

Lets assume that you were going to do a 30 day no contact rule.

This means that you have 30 days to every so subtly remind your ex girlfriend that you are still in existence.

Now, the no contact rule is strict in that you aren’t allowed to directly speak to your ex girlfriend so when you take that into account how can you speak to her without speaking to her. Well, you are going to have to do it through indirect ways.

Honestly there are a lot of indirect contact methods that you can utilize to continue to be on your exes radar but here are my favorite ones that I think you should definitely utilize,

  • Indirect Social Media
  • She Hears About You From HER Friends (Worth It Or Not?)
  • Jealousy (Trust Me)

Lets dig deep into each one of these indirect contact methods.

Indirect Social Media

Above I cited a study done by a graduate student that claimed that 90% of exes admitted to creeping on their exes Facebook profile.

In other words, there is a very good chance that after your breakup with your ex girlfriend she is going to be stopping by your profile at some point.

Oh, and if you aren’t friends with her on Facebook anymore don’t worry.

Women have a bigger spy network than we do so oftentimes they will enlist one of their friends to go onto your Facebook profile for you and snoop around.

Anyways, what I like to recommend for men is that they stay active on Facebook after the breakup and post very interesting things.

Now, I want to be clear that when I say interesting I don’t mean something like this,


Anyone can post a quote or a funny video.

What I mean by interesting is something directly relating to you or something you are doing.

Ok, take a look at this picture,


This is a picture that I took with my camera when I was on vacation with my family in Hawaii.

To this day that remains the most beautiful sunset I have ever seen. Also, you may notice that there is a boat in the bay there. That boat was actually capsized and washed onto shore. Oh, one final thing. You can see some figure in the water.

Those are actually children. They were playing and having a good time.

I thought this made an awesome picture so I took out my camera and snapped it.

Here is another fun picture of me in Hawaii a few days after I took the one above,

me in hawaii

Pretty cool, right?

These are the types of pictures that you need to be posting to your Facebook.

They tell an interesting story.

A story that your ex isn’t a part of. The idea is to essentially show her that you are having an incredible time without her. You want her to have this moment where she thinks to herself,

“Was I nothing to him? Was I not even worth sulking over?”

That’s the frame of mind you want her in because it’s going to position you as being more valuable to your ex girlfriend and that’s exactly where you want to be.

Lets move on to the next indirect method.

She Hears About You From HER Friends

There’s an old saying when it comes to sales.

“Friends make more sales then salesmen.”

The idea behind this phrase is simple,

Salesmen can’t be trusted but friends can.

I can’t tell you how many products that I have bought because of a recommendation of a friend.

Hell, this even works with TV shows.

I don’t watch a certain TV show because I see commercials for them. I usually wait for a recommendation before I get into one. For example, my dad recommended this new TV show to me called Fargo and it was great!

I had seen previews for it everywhere but I didn’t watch it until it was recommended to me by a trusted source.

And therein lies my next point about your ex.

Some men get the idea of contacting their exes through their own friends during the no contact rule.

This is a mistake because your ex girlfriend is going to be on red alert against them and question their allegiance (and rightfully so.) If anything, you want her own friends telling her about you because they are trusted sources.

Now, this can either work in your favor or against you depending on what message they deliver.

Let me give you an example.

Lets say that your ex girlfriend has a best friend named Gina and Gina always hated you.

So, after your breakup Gina is making up false things about you to further remove you from the equation.

Do you see how this is a problem.

Now, lets look at the flip side and assume that Gina really liked you and didn’t have anything mean to say about you at all. Instead, she would often point out to your ex that you were a caring and kind boyfriend.

All of a sudden Gina is your biggest supporter.

But having a friend of your exes control the message is a little too risky in my opinion which is why I am not going to recommend that you use some of my more controversial methods to try to manipulate the friend.

All in all, I think there is enough evidence to back up the fact that your ex girlfriend is going to be thinking about you no matter what her friends say or do not say.

In other words, don’t try to use your friends or your exes friends to get a message through.

Got it?


Now I would like to cover without a doubt the most successful indirect method.

Using Jealousy To Your Advantage

Jealousy is an interesting emotion.

If you really boil it down to it’s simplest form it’s an emotion of flattery.

Let me give you an example,

Lets pretend that you and your ex girlfriend are still dating and she sees another girl hitting on you. Upon seeing this she gets really jealous.

She’s angry at you for letting the girl flirt with you…

She’s angry at the girl for flirting with you…

She’s just upset in general about the whole thing.

Now, some men look at this reaction and have their feelings hurt.

But they aren’t looking deep enough.

What’s really happening is that your ex girlfriend’s body is telling her that she can’t imagine another girl with you ever.

Like I said, jealousy is really a form of flattery and we are going to utilize this in an indirect way.

What I say next may be a little controversial but I want you to go on a date.

Not a date-date.

A friend date.

What’s a friend date?

It’s a date that you go on with one of your friends of the opposite sex to just have fun somewhere.

During this friend date I want you to take a picture with the friend and post it onto Facebook.

Like this,


(This is a picture of my wife and I before we were even dating)

Now, there are a few things I want to point out using this picture.

If you didn’t know that I married this girl you probably wouldn’t be able to tell if we were dating or not.

Yes, our heads are almost touching but we aren’t kissing or hugging.

We are just taking a picture.

But still… there looks like there is potential to be something there.

That’s the idea that you want your ex girlfriend to have when she looks at you taking a picture with another girl.

Oh, and here is a general rule of thumb that is good to go by.

The prettier the girl… the more the jealousy.

So, make sure you pick a pretty friend to go out on a “friend date” with.

Making Her Think About You During Texting, Calls & Dates

I just realized that this post is getting very long.

Hope you aren’t too bored with me yet.

Anyways, in an effort to shorten things up I decided to combine the last three mediums of communication together because what I am about to teach you can be used on your ex girlfriend to make her think about you.

In fact, I am going to go out on a limb here and say that this may very well be the most powerful way of making your ex girlfriend think about you constantly.

The Method – Finding The High Point And Ending Communication There

I like to call it the cliffhanger principle.

You see, I am an avid watcher of TV shows and after a while I began noticing how almost every one began ending on a cliffhanger.

In other words, the intensity would build up. It would get you really engaged and then right when it was going to get to the best part something like this would happen,


AHHH… I want to find out what happens next.

And then you would have to wait an entire week for the next episode to come on to find out what happens next.

But here is the best part about it.

During that week long wait…

You become obsessed trying to figure out what happens next.

You just want to see the next episode.

You THINK about it…. a lot!

Hollywood has it right.

They know exactly what to do to keep someone engaged and thinking about a show and we can definitely learn a thing or two from them when it comes to keeping your ex girlfriend engaged and thinking about you.

So, I stole the cliffhanger method from them and tweaked it to work for our purposes.

Thanks Hollywood!

Here’s how it works.

Step One: Find The High Point When Talking To Your Ex Girlfriend

A lot of men always ask me,

“How do I find the high point of a conversation when talking with an ex.”

The truth is…

It’s an elusive thing to find.

My best piece of advice here is to feel it out.

I’ll give you an example.

Lets say that you are talking on the phone with a girl you really like and the conversation is going extremely well. In fact, it’s going so well that you find yourself thinking,

“Man, I don’t want this to end. I am having so much fun talking to her.”

Congratulations you have just found the high point of the conversation.

Oftentimes the moment you enjoy a conversation to the point where you don’t want it to end is the high point.

That’s where step two comes into play.

Step Two: Ending On The High Point

This is an idea that is taken directly from Hollywood.

Notice how they wait to end the episode at a point where you don’t want it to end.

The same principle is going to apply here when you have a conversation with your ex.

I want you to wait until you hit that inevitable moment where you think to yourself,

“I don’t want this to end”

And then end it!

It’s really simple.

Well, it’s not but you can do it!	

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