By Chris Seiter

Updated on July 9th, 2022

It can feel like the whole world has ended when your ex girlfriend decides to move on after breaking up with you.

If you feel she has ruined your life and you have no other place to turn for help, I am glad you landed here.

I guess it would be fair to ask you what exactly did she do to make you feel that your life is in ruins.

Did your ex girlfriend ruin your reputation?

Or is one of those situations where you believed the two of you had something special, but she ended up leaving you and going a different direction?

Trust me, if you feel your ex partner either broke you in half or is threatening to ruin your life, you are not the first.

With regard to the former, lots of guys end up getting tossed aside unceremoniously.

And regarding the latter, if your girlfriend is threatening to make things even rougher for you by revealing some deep dark secrets or cut you out “forever”, rest assured that threats of these types often don’t come to fruition.

But of course knowing this doesn’t really help you if you feel emotionally screwed up.

You are probably looking for answers.

Like, why is she acting this way?

Or, what did I ever do to deserve this?

Or, what can I do to pick up the pieces and move on?

So let’s tackle the first question…why is your ex girlfriend giving you such a hard time after the breakup?

Then we will discuss what you can do about it.

In short, having a Game Plan is critical.

Why Is Your Ex Making You Feel So Bad After Breaking Up With You

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There are usually five key reasons why an ex will come off as uncaring and unsupportive after a breakup.

Somewhere in these reasons lie the solution to potentially turning this around.

Let’s take a closer look at what might be your ex girlfriend’s mindset.

1. She May Not Even Realize How Much You Are Hurting

Often, after a break up, we get trapped in our own world of hurt and pain.

You may have no clue as to what is really going on.  All you know is that the love of your life is gone from your life and the pain couldn’t feel worse.

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So while you may be experiencing this painful personal transformation, your ex may not even realize that you are taking it so hard.

She may have thought you would rebound and move on.

Or while you are floundering in your sorrows, she may be lost in her own, not understanding the depth of your own suffering.

2. Your Ex Is Very Angry With You

It may be her intent to make you feel miserable.

Breakups can bring out the worse in us.

We say things, we shouldn’t say.

Whatever went down, it may have lit a fuse of anger in your ex girlfriend and she may be far from forgiving you.

Hence, whatever she does or says may be colored by her attitude that you don’t deserve her.

In other-words, she wants you to feel bad.

The good news is that her anger will eventually subside and whatever she is doing to make you feel miserable should cease.

Try not to get lost in the emotions.

Neither of you will be at your best right after the breakup, so don’t take what she says too personal.

3. You Might Be Overreacting To What Your Girlfriend Said

As alluded to above, times will be tough right after the two of you go your separate ways.

All kinds of ugliness can spill out.

So don’t get yourself tied up in knots if your girlfriend says some horrible things.

Chances are she is hurting as much or even more than you and is looking for a way to strike back.

Avoid getting into a tit for tat with her as it will lead you further away from your goals.

4. She Might Have A Bigger Plan In Mind

It could be that your ex girlfriend has a strategic plan in place.

Her behavior towards you could be a test to see how much you will tolerate.

Or she could be trying to bait you into doing something wrong to justify what she feels inside.

Remember, part of her is searching for answers too.

If your ex baits you to say something mean, it could be her way of proving to herself that you are not worth pursuing.

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It’s best not to back yourself into a corner by striking back.

In many of these cases, your ex may have a bigger plan in mind and how you react could effect the outcome.

5. Your Ex Girlfriend Could Be Trying To Teach You a Lesson

Another situation that I see crop up a lot is after a break up your ex may be far from writing you off.

But she just might want to teach you a lesson.

She might want to show you that she is willing to go her separate way forever if it comes to that.

Perhaps you were far from being the kind of guy you want to be.

Now she wants to show you that if you want her back in your life, you’re going to have to make some changes.

She also might give you the extended silent treatment.

At first you may feel rejected. But know that more often than not, this no contact period won’t last forever.

Demonstrating that you have learned things about yourself and relationships might be just what she is looking for.

What Should You Do If You Feel Your Ex Has Ruined Your Life

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When your ex turns against you, making you feel terrible and unloved inside, just know that you have choices.

You need not sit around feeling depressed.

You don’t have to wrap yourself up in a corner and cry day in and day out.

Now, I have nothing against crying.

In fact, having a good cry, whether you are a guy or girl, is often the best medicine you could ever order up.

But there is a time when you should put an end to feelings of being victimized.

The truth is that life moves on.

You can either stay behind and continue to live and act out all of your sadness like an endless loop, or you can turn the corner and start on a new path.

1. It Is Time To Put Away The Negative Thoughts

It’s perfectly fine to cry it out.

Just let go of all of the negative thoughts you may be clinging to.

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Ultimately, you have control over your feelings and how you respond to adversity.

It’s  also OK to let yourself go a bit crazy for just a little while.

I don’t mean for you to do crazy acts of revenge.

But allow yourself to exercise your demons by doing things like hitting a punching bag for an extended workout.

Doing things that tax you physically can help you rid some of the negativity that plagues you.

2. Start Focusing On New, Positive Routines Immediately

One of the best ways to embrace a new future is to create that future for yourself by getting involved in new, positive routines.

You should think about filling your day with new, interesting activities.  Not those that you did together in the past, but new challenges and areas of interest.

Your ex cannot ruin your life.

No one can, but yourself.

Sure, it can take time to fully recover.

But know that you will do so.

3. Avoid the Temptation To Strike Back

After a horrible ending to a relationship, particularly if bad things were said, the temptation is to say or do something to make her feel bad.

Your reasoning may be that if she caused you to feel bad and miserable, then why shouldn’t she feel the same way.

You may even hear reports that she is doing just fine which could upset you even more.

But it is important to rise above the negative thoughts which might occupy your mind.

Trying to get even with your ex is almost always another way to self inflict damage upon yourself.

4. Don’t Get Drawn Into The Delusion That She Will Be Yours Again

We can often fool ourselves into thinking things that are simply not true.

I am not saying you don’t have a chance of winning her back again.

But your Ex Recovery Plan should also focus on your own personal recovery and acceptance of the possibility you might not get her back or even want her back.

I know you may feel horrible right now.

You might even think you could never be happy without her in your life.

But the truth is that essentially everyone has gone through similar feelings and your future holds promise, with or without her.

5. Have A Game Plan That Serves Your Recovery

I mentioned it above, but your efforts on healing yourself deserve more attention.

I talk about it at length in my Program, “Ex Girlfriend Recovery Pro”.

Interestingly, the more emotionally healthy you are, the greater your chances of winning her back.

Your ex won’t be attracted to someone who is constantly miserable or acting weak.

Her re-attraction to you will be founded on many things, with your emotional health being front and center.	

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