By Chris Seiter

Updated on July 9th, 2022

Does your ex girlfriend treat you badly?  Does she say things to you that are horrible, making you feel insignificant and unimportant?

It’s hard enough to deal with a bad breakup.

But if your ex girlfriend is making things worse for you by treating badly, making you feel like crap, then you best know how to navigate through these choppy waters.

In this post, I am going explain to you why your ex is treating you so poorly.  We are going get into those reasons and you might be a bit surprised to learn that in some cases, things are not as bad as you might have initially thought.

I am not trying to sugar coat anything here.  I know well that when your ex is treating you horribly, making you feel small and making your feel guilty and stripping you of your dignity – I know that is tough on many levels.

But guess what?  You will learn to rise above it and move past the mean spirited and misguided words and actions. Indeed, if you are looking for a comprehensive Plan to help you through the entire ex recovery process, check out my System here.

Let’s first get into the why part.  What makes your ex girlfriend so eager to see you suffer?

Six Reasons Why Your Ex Girlfriend Is Treating You Like Crap

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1. Your Ex Is Really Mad At You – So Mad That She Can’t Contain Her Bitterness

Breakups can bring out the worse in people and you may have triggered a nerve in your ex girlfriend that literally took her over the top.  She may feel so embittered and angry that anything you say or do is going to be wrong in every way from her perspective.

This is like when you are in the ultimate ex girlfriend doghouse.  So you might just prepare yourself because some girls, when they latch onto this dark place, are not going to let go for awhile.

Be ready to serve out a sentence.

2. This Bad Treatment You Are Getting From Her Is Well Deserved

Now I am not saying you in particular deserve the lashing you are getting from your ex girlfriend, but there are some cases in which some really bad and horrible things transpired.  Hence, if the ex feels so inclined, she might just return fire, giving it back with both barrels.

One of the leading causes of breakups are fights – usually lots of them.

If you are often the instigator – in your ex’s eyes – then she may be saving up all this anger.  And when things get to the boiling point, your ex girlfriend’s anger can often can be furious and in some circumstances long lasting.

Don’t try to fight back.  This will just encourage her to say and do even more horrible things.  If she feels wronged, then you best apologize and step aside to give her the time and space she will need to bring her emotions back into balance.

3.  You Set Off a Trip Wire and Your Ex Girlfriend Overreacted

Sometimes, without even realizing it, you can trip up and say something that just flips her out.

As I explained earlier, emotional baggage from a split up can weigh you both down.

And if there is something she is particularly sensitive to and you say or do something she feels is WAY out of line, then she is likely to react swiftly in retribution.

4. She is Acting Horribly Towards You Because She is a Mean Spirited Person

I certainly hope this is not the case for your situation.

The truth is that if your ex girlfriend is just a naturally mean and vindictive person, then perhaps you should think twice about investing any more effort in getting her back.

Everybody can fly of the handle and say something horrible.  No one is immune from screwing up their communications and making things worse.

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But unfortunately, there are some people who are just downright nasty and thrive on making others feel bad.

As I said, if this happens frequently in your interactions with your ex, then let her remain your ex and avoid any more interaction.

5. Your Ex Girlfriend Tossed You Aside To Teach You a Lesson

Every once in awhile I will get a case where my client feels like he is being tested by his ex.

He will tell me that this woman he loves use to treat him like gold.  But since the breakup has happened, she has shut him out and turned cold and uncaring.

Perhaps she does not mean to act this way or be perceived in this manner, but there are some cases in which your ex knows exactly what she is doing.

In other words, she wants to see just how much you will take.  Though she may not want the relationship to end, this self sabotaging behavior can just get the best of her as she continues to egg you along, testing you – even daring you to see how you will respond.

Part of her mission it to teach you a lesson so that you learn she will not tolerate whatever it is you did.

If you don’t pass the lesson, then you are going to get more of the same crappy treatment.

6. Your Ex is Behaving Immaturely and Her Dark Side Is Surfacing

Some ex girlfriends may have little experience with relationships.  In such cases, once a break up transpires, she can become unglued.  Her feelings of desperation can later turn into a darker reaction.  What might look like a meltdown from your perspective, could actually be her way of “acting out” her unconstrained emotions.

One moment you are the love of her life and she is begging you to reconsider the breakup.

The next moment she is telling you that you are worst than scum and that she must be insane to even associate with you.  This hot and cold streak can dominate her mood for some time.

And when the dark side comes out to play, it often isn’t a pretty sight.

How Do You Deal With An Ex Girlfriend Who Is Mean To You

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So now that you have an idea what might be driving your ex girlfriend to treat you so badly, let’s turn our attention to what are the basic rules of engagement.

The last thing you want to do is make things worse. So what should you consider doing?

Well, it’not always easy.  But it starts with diffusing things and there are a few strategies for that.

The type of solutions you adopt depend on the situation and the type of ex girlfriend you have.  And don’t forget. If you need an Ex Recovery Blueprint that you can adopt and follow, then visit me here to learn more.

If you are in it really deep, meaning that your ex is treating you in the worse ways you could ever imagine, then you might need to employ several of these approaches.

  1. Do absolutely nothing to fight back or incite her.  Sometimes the best defense is no defense. Let her burn out and purge the meanness.
  2. Don’t complain or give voice to how she is behaving.  Give her free rein to get it out of her system
  3. Send her a brief text telling her that most everything she has said is deserved and that you are committing yourself to a personal improvement program.  The idea here is to try and diffuse this situation by using some reverse psychology.
  4. Enter into No Contact Period.  It may be best not to communicate with her.  You need to devote yourself to some healing and she needs to learn to control her anger.
  5. Push back.  Tell her that her treatment of you borders on abusive behavior.  Tell her to please stop. Apologize for your part in the chaos that has become your lives.  After you said your piece, end the communication and avoid the temptation to try and explain further or respond to her denials.
  6.  Wait for it to blow over.  It usually does in many situations. Then do something nice and kind for her.  Send a small gift with a note apologizing for your role in the whole mess. But don’t follow up again with her unless she reaches out to you in a positive manner
  7. Move on. If you ex girlfriend is continually treating you horribly over a lengthy period of time, then the wound may be far too deep and her heart may be far too unforgiving.	

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