Getting Your Ex Girlfriend Back By Ignoring Her

Absence makes the heart grow fonder…

That’s how the famous quote goes, right?

But does it hold true when it comes to ex girlfriends.

Can ignoring her actually help you get her back?

Well, that is what I intend to explain to you today.

Now, I am not one for bragging,

(Totally a lie)

But I have been doing this for half a decade and I might actually be in one of the best positions to give you concrete data on if ignoring your ex girlfriend is the right move.

Why am I in such a great position to do so?

Well, I’d like to show you something.

Now, I realize that this video is aimed at women but it gives you just an idea of how many success stories I have in my inventory to draw from and you had better believe that there are just as many men in there as women ๐Ÿ˜‰ .

So, Does Ignoring Your Ex Actually Help You With Her?

Last year I filmed a video with my buddy Brad Browning.

(If you don’t know Brad Browning then all you need to do is go to YouTube type in his name and brace yourself for all the great content he produces.)

The premise of the video was pretty simple.

We had decided that we would take questions from our listeners and go head to head with each of us offering our own unique perspective.

Here was the result,

Now, I am not showing you this video to prove to you that I know Brad Browning and totally kicked his a** going head to head in breakup knowledge (totally did though.)

I am actually showing you this video because there is a point in that that both of us tackled this question around “ignoring your ex.”

You see, I am a huge proponent of something called,

The No Contact Rule = You ignore your ex completely for a certain amount of time with the intent of making her miss you while at the same time cultivating your own personal life.

Now, there is a lot more to making the no contact rule work for you but I don’t have the time or patience to fully explain it right now. Instead, if you are interested in how it fully works then I would like to direct you to my huge article on it.

Of course, if you have spent any time researching this topic you would know that there are generally two mindsets revolving around it.

Mindset 1 = You should do the no contact rule after a break up no matter what.ย 

Mindset 2 = You shouldn’t do the no contact rule because it is a bad idea.

Now, I’ll be the first to admit that I definitely fall into the “mindset 1” camp. However, that doesn’t mean that there aren’t flaws with my thinking.

The way I see it is that the no contact rule always has risks involved.

Yes, it’s true that if you ignore your ex for 30 days (generally the standard) that there is a chance your girlfriend could get scooped up by another guy.

It’s true that if you ignore your ex she could grow angry at you and decide that you aren’t worth her time.

After all, these are the main arguments presented by those with mindset two.

Nevertheless, if you are anything like me lets take a look at what the statistics are saying.

What The Statistics Say About Ignoring Your Ex

So, I want to preface this by saying that every statistic I am about to lay down for you was gathered by my own independent research using my own personal success stories with helping clients get their exes back.

There are two statistics I want to show you today.

  • Statistic #1: The No Contact Rule (ignoring via it) with the overall success rate
  • Statistic #2:ย The No Contact Rule (ignoring via it) with my private support group

Lets begin with looking at all of my success stories in general.

Statistic #1: 70% Of Successes Have Utilized The No Contact Rule

A few years ago an idea entered my head,

Hmm… I wonder what the men and women who are successful in getting their ex back are doing versus the men and women who aren’t.

And with that I set on a quest to find out.

Now, I will be the first to admit that I am not exactly the most organized person in the world.

Therefore, when it came to compiling a list of all of my success stories I didn’t know where to start.

They were scattered all over the place.

Some were screenshots on my phone…

Others were saved directly to my computers…

And to make matters worse I had three separate computers, an iPad and an iPhone.

So, after spending about 3 hours gathering them all in one place I eventually started reading them all indvidually and started taking note of any pattern I found that began to develop.

After about the first 25 I noticed a pattern beginning…

The pattern still held after about 100…

And really began to solidify as I hit my 500th saved success…

It turns out that the men and women who got their exes back utilized the no contact rule. 70% of them to be exact.

Now, lets talk about that 70% number because make no mistake that is a very big number.

Believe it or not but I have a strong belief that, that particular number is greatly watered down.

You see, I counted every person who told me that they used the no contact rule.

Of course, a lot of times I would get a success story that looked like this,

“Hey Chris! Thank you so much I got him/her back.”

In other words, they didn’t give me any more information regarding their success other than that.

Therefore, I am willing to believe that, that 70% number is actually a lot higher and I think I might have some concrete proof to back it up.

Statistic #2: 95% Of Success In My Private Support Group Have Utilized The No Contact Rule

In 2017, my wife and I decided that we were going to try to test having a private support group for the women of Ex Boyfriend Recovery (the sister website to this one.)

We determined that we were going to use Facebook as a platform since it is so popular among everyone.

(Don’t worry guys. We are working on a way to combine our efforts to make one solid group.)

Anyways, as 2017 began to pass by more and more women entered the group and we found that a very high rate of women were seeing all kinds of successes.

In particular, I began to notice that almost every single success story that we had gotten as a result of working with people in the group had utilized the ultimate “ignoring” tactic, the no contact rule.

If you want specifics, 95% of people who got their exes back in our private support group utilized the no contact rule.

Now, I don’t know about you but that is significantly higher than that 70% number mentioned above, huh?

But why?

Why is it so much higher?

Well, I think there are two factors that impacted its insane growth.

Factor #1

The fact that they were in this private support group where the no contact rule is talked about so much forced them to do it. Let’s call it “peer pressure.”

Factor #2

People in the private support group are people that I actually get to know personally. Therefore, I get in-depth details on how things are going with them and their ex. In other words, whenever someone gets their ex back I get all the juicy details about it.

If you’ll recall that was a major problem with the first statistic.

While I would get a lot of success stories I never got anyone to fully elaborate and tell me if they used the no contact rule or not.

Ultimately here is the final verdict,

The no contact rule/ignoring via it, works extremely well as a strategy for getting your ex back.

But why?

The Science Behind Why Ignoring Works To Get An Ex Backย 

Have you ever heard of the theory of reactance?

Reactance = It’s a psychological fact that when someone has a freedom taken away they will react in a way to try to get that freedom back.

So, lets consider your ex for a minute here.

Lets pretend that you decide that you are going to ignore her via the no contact rule

By doing this you are essentially using actions (not words) to tell her that you are removing her freedom to talk to you.

Now, according to reactance we know that when a human being has a freedom removed they are going to react in a way to try to get that freedom back.

So, how do you think your ex is going to react?

She is probably going to go batsh*t crazy trying to get her freedom to talk to you back and it’s in this process that something fascinating happens.

During this crazy moment of trying to get her freedom back she is going to realize how much you mean to her.

Trust me when I say that women who are used to having men wrapped around their fingers (and believe me when I say that you are totally wrapped around her finger) aren’t used to being in a position where they have to chase a man.

So, by forcing her to chase you, you are going to hold ultimate value to her.

So, that’s a little of the science behind how ignoring an ex can make her miss you but if you’ll recall in my little definition of the no contact rule I had mentioned that, that isn’t it’s only purpose.

It’s also an opportunity to cultivate your own personal life.

Do me a favor and watch this right around the 7:45 mark,

Now, I realize that this video may be a bit dated and the production qualities of the videos I do now-a-days are much better but everything I said in it still holds true.

The no contact rule is really a battle on two fronts.

Each of these fronts can work together seamlessly to drastically improve your chances.

Just think about it for a second.

Let’s say that you enter your no contact rule and you don’t do anything but eat ice cream, drink beer and gain a bunch of weight.

Well, when the time comes to actually talk to your ex you won’t really be projecting the strong confident attitude that you need to project to win her over.

Instead, you’ll just be a fat man with a six pack (and not the good kind ๐Ÿ˜‰ .)

Now lets compare that to if you had taken your no contact period seriously and you did all sorts of amazing things with your life.

Let’s say you get a promotion at work…

You get in the best shape of your life…

You take dancing or piano lessons so women find you ten times sexier…

And lets go a step further and say you are posting this progress on social media and getting all kinds of attention. Essentially what you will have been doing is priming your ex girlfriend to want to talk to you because while she is suffering NOT talking to you she is going to be seeing you have the time of your life.

It’s going to make the time that you do actually talk to her that much more special.

		

Written by EGR team mate

Chris Seiter

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36 Comments on "Getting Your Ex Girlfriend Back By Ignoring Her"

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Ricardo
Guest
I need serious help with my ex. She broke up with me two weeks ago as I had constantly been a bit of a douche to her on nights out with friends, she called it off after nearly two years together. She has also been saying she feels a part of her needs to be single. She has accepted my apology and forgives me for being a dick to her on a few occasions but still feels that she can commit to me 100%. She kissed two guys on a night out but apparently it was just to let off… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Ricardo,

Tell her being friends is not workable for you right now and thank her for everything.. And then restart nc..do 30 days, be active in improving yourself and in posting

daymon young
Guest

How can you go no contact when you have kids? If I completely ignore her she’ll use that against me and say I don’t want to see my kids…how can I do this when she knows that? I’m lost because I love my boys and her and I want my family back.

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

you’re going to do limited contact.. that means you remain civil, co parent and only talk about regarding the kids.

neston
Guest
hello amor..i need your help..my situation so complicated, we have 5 years relationship, n suddenly she dumped me. the reason is bcoz i dont have time for her, and not get a good relation with her family.. i know its all my fault…but i love her so much… fyi my ages 29 n she’s same. we already broke up for 2 weeks, during the 1st week i keep texting her n the result she blocked my WA n line but not on facebook n instagram…during 2nd week she keep ignore me even when i go to her house…and she keep… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Neston,

Yes, you can still do the no contact rule, are you in it right now? How much are you improving yourself and how active are you in posting?

Carlos Zuka
Guest
Hi, I was dumped by my ex last week. Before this I had not seen her for 9 days. In this period she didn’t ignore me, but said she was busy and also had her cousin visiting. In retrospect I was needy before this period and in this period. When we met on Tuesday, she said she could not be my girlfriend. She also looked at me like she hated me and told me I looked different. I told her to get the hell out of my apartment if she continued behaving like that. She gave me back my keys… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Carlos,

You can send a clean slate text. Tell her being friends is not workable for you right now and thank her for the offer and then restart nc..

Leandro Mariotti
Guest

Hello, I need some help, please! My ex blocked me during the no contact rule on whatsapp. She texto me “Don’t talk to me anymore” , she’s so pissed. However, we have a business together, should I talk to her, only for Business or is something that I can hang for while until the NCR ends? We broke up in July. I starded the NCR 6 days ago.

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Leandro,

you can talk to her about the business only and check this:

How To Make Your Ex Girlfriend Unblock You

Doug
Guest
My ex-girlfriend and I have started “hanging out” since we last broke up and had a period of half a year whereby we didn’t speak (we’ve had multiple break-ups). Since then I’ve worked on myself. We’ve been hanging out for maybe the last 2-3 months and we have yet to kiss or have sex. We last hung out a few days ago and since then she’s been distant in her messages (and I want to make a move to reconnect the relationship we had beyond hanging out). What options do I have in order to stop her being distant? I’m… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

HI Doug,
since it’s been months, try it.

Doug
Guest

Amor, since your post my ex-gf has gone very quiet on me. To the point where I always have to initiate text conversations and she avoids making plans.

What do you suggest?

Doug

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

You mean you didn’t ask her? If she’s just continually avoiding you..rest from initiating for now

Doug
Guest

I haven’t seen her to ask her, unless I do it over Whatsapp/text message. How long should I rest from initiating contact for? Should I go into NC for 14 days?

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Ah..just a week..

Doug
Guest

Too late. She messaged me first explaining why she was being distant. She said it felt like times we’d been together (and broken up before) and she would really love for us to be friends.

๐Ÿ™

Doug
Guest

I’ve re-ignighted NC. But my ex is on holidays and hasn’t responded after a couple of days, and she has been active on social media. What should I do?

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

If you’re in nc, you shouldn’t contact her..

Joseph R
Guest

On Snapchat, it says when a text is opened. If I get a text or picture on Snapchat from her should I open it or ignore it?

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

it’s ok to open it, just don’t reply.. if you don’t want to open it, that’s ok too.

Chris
Guest
My situation is a bit strange. My ex and I had fallen into a routine and I was stressed out from work. To the point that I ignored her and when I didn’t I wasn’t focusing on her needs. I recognized that and tried to change but work kept putting more and more on me with less time for us. Her ex wanted to meet up and apologize for what he had done to her one day early last month and I told her it was fine, I trusted her and loved her so I didn’t think much of it,… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

when and how long did you no contact?

Chris
Guest

I am still in no contact. This is the end of week one.

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

be active in improving yourself and in posting. check this one:
Will My Ex Girlfriend Realize What She Lost?

Guillermo HP
Guest
Hi Chris & Chris’ team, i need your help (d’hu!), i wrote you guys in another article, when i finish my NC (i did 21 days, it was really difficult but i made it), it was like 1.5 months ago but things hasn’t been going nicely, my ex (nice girl, full of good & bad things but i want her like that) were toghether for 2 years and 5 months before she broke up with me, thinking about it it was neccesary, i let myself go and took things for granted, but since i realice about my mistakes i have… Read more »
Guillermo HP
Guest

*a common friend that we have told me that she was avoiding me, i wento to her school photo just to say hi but it back fired, and my ex also is angry because of the place in which i opened my business, because (now i know) that she didn’t want to see me

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

showing up unannounced is not a good move because you’re like stalking her.. I think you need to do one last nc for 45 days and then take it slow in building rapport after it while continuing to improve yourself

Jade
Guest
I broke every rule from jump prior to reading your guide. I purchased your pro ysterday and was up till 3 in the morning reading everything. after reading i instantly stopped what i was doing but i feel the time lines are all messed up. first of all i am dealing with a full block. FULL. zero form of communication. on her side the block started instantly from the moment of break up. i turned into a gnat. texting and emailing like a crazy man… 15+ times a day of each. for 27 days. i know exactly 27 days cause… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Jade,

don’t just ignore and wait.. Be active in improvinng yourself

NITIN
Guest

Helpfully lyk very much but still confused whether to go with the no contact rule or no

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

why?

Nimesh Patil
Guest

i want my ex back.. can you help me out?

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Nimesh,

do you want to try the advice above?

Bryce
Guest

After failing no contact for 2months. A thought about you text came shortly after 30 days of no contact. I began the texting a few days later using the egr mock campaign. Was going well until the set up and. I miss… text. Got a negative response “???? yeah I wish it would of worked out for both of us… Four years was a long time.” Didn’t know how to respond.. Any advice?

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

You can agree and then change the topic