How To Get Your Ex Girlfriend To Respond To You

It sucks to be ignored doesn’t it?

Personally speaking, I can’t stand it.

I remember way back in the elder days when I was dating my wife and she would ignore me I would hate it. In fact, I would hate it so much I would think to myself,

“Well, that’s it for me… It was a good run Chris.”

Being ignored from a woman that you are in love with SUCKS!

It’s the truth.

And that’s whats happening to you right now, isn’t it?

But what if I told you that it doesn’t have to be that way?

What if I told you that I could teach you a method that will raise your chances EXPONENTIALLY to get your ex girlfriend to respond to you when you text/call/talk to her.

Does that sound like something you would be interested in?

Yes?

Ok, lets begin!

Her Mindset When It Comes To Not Responding To You

yoda hand

Think about the act of your ex girlfriend not responding to you.

What could be going through her mind?

That’s what I intend to explore in this section by teaching you the three most likely outcomes that your ex girlfriend could be engaging in when she ignores you.

I guess we should get right to it.

Outcome #1- She Is Ignoring You On Purpose

I would like to demonstrate this using two fake people.

Meet Blake and Jackie,

blake and jackie

They just went through a breakup and Jackie has since ignored Blake’s attempts to reach out to her.

It kind of goes a little something like this.

blake texts jackie

The thing that I want to hammer into your head is that with this outcome Jackie saw Blake’s text message and chose to ignore it.

Pretty self explanatory, right?

But why?

Why does Jackie ignore Blake’s text message?

Well, there are literally thousands of reasons but I am just going to give you a few of the most common.

Fallout Over The Breakup

Lets pretend that Jackie and Blake had the breakup of a century.

Things were thrown…

Things were said…

Weapons were drawn…

Actually it might be fun to create a graphic depicting this bad breakup.

Hmm… lets see here,

blake texts jackie copy

You get the idea.

Anyways, it’s entirely possible that when Blake reached out via text message to Jackie that she ignored it on purpose because she is still angry over the breakup. Think of it like a mini grudge that she is holding against Blake and her way of “getting back at him” is ignoring him.

Fallout Over The Last Conversation They Had

But what if Blake and Jackie had a relatively light breakup?

What if the animosity between them didn’t start until after the breakup?

How the heck does that work?

Good question.

Lets say that Blake and Jackie were talking post breakup and the two got into a fight with each other over something stupid,

blake texts jackie copy

Well, it’s entirely possible that when Blake sends that text message to Jackie that she is still holding some animosity over their “something stupid” fight and ignores it because of that.

Again, pretty self explanatory.

Blake Was Super Annoying To Jackie In Their Past Conversations

I’m not going to lie to you, I see this one a lot.

In fact, I created a special acronym to explain it.

I call it GNAT!

Yes, like those type of gnats that buzz around your head and don’t go away no matter how many times you try to swat them away.

G- Going

N- Nuts

A- At

T- Texting

Pretty cool, huh.

Here is how this works. Imagine that after the breakup, Blake sends Jackie a lot of needy and desperate text messages and they start annoying her,

blake texts jackie

In fact, they start annoying her so much that when Blake starts sending messages she just starts ignoring them because she can’t handle his craziness and insecurity anymore.

Again, I have seen this happen A LOT!

But more on that later. For now, lets look at another outcome for why your ex girlfriend may not be responding to you.

Outcome #2- She Hasn’t Seen Your Message Yet

I am kind of having fun with Blake and Jackie.

Do you want to stick with them?

Ok, in this example Blake sends Jackie a text message and she doesn’t respond (obviously) but it’s not because she is ignoring Blake on purpose. No, it’s due to the fact that she was super busy and hasn’t seen his text message yet.

Of course, Blake, since he is highly emotional due to the breakup, freaks out when she doesn’t respond immediately and thinks that Jackie is ignoring him.

Here is another fun graphic depicting what’s going on,

blake texts jackie copy

Now, there isn’t a lot that I can say other than what I have already said regarding this outcome. Of course, there is one little twist to this that I haven’t covered yet.

What If Jackie Had Blake’s Number Blocked?

I have blocked many a women in my time.

Usually due to the fact that they annoyed the hell out of me.

So, it’s entirely possible that the reason that Jackie hasn’t seen Blake’s text message yet is due to the fact that she has his number blocked for a variety of reasons that I cover here. Now, I don’t know how every phone functions with regards to blocking a number but I know how my phone works. Basically any incoming call/text that I get from a number that I have blocked won’t even register. It’s like this magical barrier forms that prevents that number from infecting my phone.

You know where this is going, right?

ANOTHER GRAPHIC!

blake texts jackie copy

Outcome #3- She Is Doing It On Purpose To Make You Want Her More

I am about to tell you something that may frighten you.

Well, perhaps “frighten” isn’t the right word.

Ah.. enough set up. I will just get right to it.

Women are masters of manipulation.

They just are.

They know how to play “the game” better than men. I know a lot is made out of the male “players” out there but the truth is that women have and will always be better players than men.

Why?

Well, I have a very long explanation about why that is but if I dive right into it I am afraid I will get off topic?

….

You want the explanation don’t you?

…. Sigh.

I warned you.

Ok, check this out.

When you look at men, women and their main difference it’s pretty much physical strength.

Look, I am not trying to piss off any of the feminists out there but even they can’t deny that men, in general, are stronger than women.

Just to be clear I am not talking about mentally. I am talking about this in purely physical terms.

Now, have you ever heard the term,

Hunters and Gatherers

Basically the term “hunter and gatherer” is used to define a type of society that humans adapted early in history. The premise of it worked like this,

Men would hunt- Large wild animals

Women would gather- grains, fruit, seeds, roots, insects, eggs, small animals

What does that have to do with any of this?

Not a thing.

I am just painting a picture for you before I get to my ultimate point.

In a society predominately run by strength (men who would hunt big animals were preferred over women) how could women possibly survive?

They weren’t strong.

They didn’t have the flashy job of hunting huge animals.

So, what’s the best way to survive?

It’s to wrap a strong man around her finger (using sex) so he stays committed to her and protects her.

Interesting…

Even back then women were the ones manipulating men with their superior emotional intellect.

Oh, and the hunter/gatherer societies were common up until about 10,000 years ago.

So, we aren’t exactly far removed from those times.

Here is my ultimate point.

Women know how to play the game. Hell, they are the masters of playing the game. So, when it comes to ignoring you on purpose to make you want her more. She is definitely not above it.

Still not sure what that looks like?

Hahaha well, lets ask our favorite friends Blake and Jackie to demonstrate,

blake texts jackie copy

So, the ultimate question that you are probably having right now is,

“Wait, if my ex girlfriend is ignoring me on purpose so I will want her does that mean that she actually wants me back?”

Good question.

A couple of things I want to cover here.

  1. This is the absolute rarest outcome there is.
  2. Just because she ignores you on purpose to make you want her more doesn’t mean she wants you back.

But to be honest all of this is an explanation for another day.

And the explanation isn’t going to change the ultimate goal of this article, to get your ex girlfriend to respond to you.

How To Make Your Ex Girlfriend Respond To You

respond

Hmm…

So much to talk about here.

I suppose I am going to start this section of by saying that I don’t care what you did to make your ex girlfriend NOT respond to you (and yes it’s always something you did.) The strategy that I am about to teach you will work for just about any situation I can think of.

Now, does that mean that it’s going to work 100% of the time?

Nope, nothing is that full proof. However, this strategy works like crazy if you are able to implement it correctly. Oh, I skipped the best part.

There is only ONE RULE you have to follow.

Care to take a guess at what that one rule is?

You must do everything I say without question.

Geez… I feel like I just tapped into my inner “Frank Underwood.”

unconditional

Here is the deal.

If you do everything that I say you are going to have a chance.

A really good chance.

Now, am I a miracle worker? No, but I do know what I am talking about and I think you know that or else you wouldn’t have read this far down on the page.

Lets get started.

Step One: Time Has To Pass

no time

I just hired someone to help me with the comments here at Ex Girlfriend Recovery. Her name is Amor and she really knows her stuff. In other words, if you comment you are going to get a response from either Me, Amor or my wife. But I am getting off topic.

When I was interviewing Amor she said something that struck me as interesting.

“I like challenges”

Hey me too!

In fact, I love challenges. I am going to put that little phrase to use here.

Lets assume we are in a worst case scenario in the fact that you bombarded your ex girlfriend with a million different text messages.

Hmm..

Think about that picture above that I drew for you… actually, I will just post it again here,

blake texts jackie

Lets assume this happened between you and your ex girlfriend to the extent where your ex girlfriend wants nothing to do with you.

Do you honestly think that texting her again is the answer?

Hell no, you will just piss her off more. Instead, I think time is going to have to pass for you to even have a chance of getting a response.

Think of it this way.

Lets pretend that each text message you send is the equivalent of taking one point away.

Now, lets say that your ex girlfriend has to have ten points accumulated for her to be willing to respond to your text messages.

So, she started out with ten points and willing to text you but then you bombarded her with twenty text messages.

10 – 20 = -10

You are at negative ten.

So, how the heck can you turn a negative ten into a positive ten?

Well, now I would like to add a new rule. Lets say that every day that goes by without you texting her is the equivalent of adding one point to her willingness to text you internal scale. By this logic it would take 20 days for her to be willing to respond to you again.

Now, I am just using this is an example to demonstrate a point.

You absolutely have to let some time go by before you try getting a response from your ex girlfriend. You just have to.

Step Two: Texting Vs. Calling?

crush

So now comes the age old question.

Do you text your ex girlfriend?

or

Do you call your ex girlfriend?

A lot of experts out there have different ideas about this but I am not going to bullshit you. I have one very clear idea and my way IS the right way.

Remember, I am channeling Frank Underwood here and Frank Underwood doesn’t fu*k around,

fank underwood

I am a big believer in the “natural approach.” Now, I don’t know what your experience has been when it comes to attracting women but in today’s day and age I have found that texting at the beginning is considered to be less threatening.

Think of yourself as a hunter sitting in a deer blind waiting for a deer to come by.

Patience is required.

Hell, lets not mess around here. A LOT of patience is required.

Now, lets say that you are sitting in that deer blind waiting for that deer to come and a rabbit hops by.

It’s at this point that you are faced with a choice.

deer vs rabbit

Do you claim the rabbit (what appears to be a sure thing) or do you continue to be patient and wait for the deer?

Oh, and just to be clear in this analogy the rabbit is calling your ex too soon and the deer is texting your ex the correct way.

Lets say that you let your impatience get the better of you and you decide to bag the rabbit. However, as you shoot the rabbit a deer, who was nearby, hears the gunshot go off and runs away. If only you were a little bit more patient the deer would have walked into the area and you would have succeeded.

Calling an ex too soon is a lot like that.

Sure, I can teach you how to get your ex to respond to you over the phone but to me that’s not as powerful as having an ex respond to you EVERY time you talk to her.

That’s really what we are going for here.

So, the next step of this process is to use text messaging.

But this text has to be phenomenal.

It has to be worth responding to.

Of course, we also have to understand the context. I mean, ideally if you are following my advice you will have let some time pass so we need to take that into account when we are constructing this text.

How To Write A Phenomenal Text Message She Will Respond To

win

Now, there are two approaches to creating a phenomenal text message (that will get your ex girlfriend to respond.)

You have the “less is more” approach which I am not going to lie to you can be a little risky but has a high rate of success (more on that in a second.) And then you have the “straightforward” approach.

I am going to teach you both approaches and I will be trying to cover every single thing I can think of.

So, lets just get right to it.

The Less Is More Approach

The idea behind the “less is more” approach is that you are going to send a text message that isn’t very long BUT you send something that makes her “just have to get a response.”

Hmm…

I just realized that is a horrible explanation haha.

Ok, how about I just show you.

Lets say that I was dating your ex girlfriend and we went through a breakup.

Of course, every single time I reached out to her after the breakup I have gotten the cold shoulder. So, after getting the cold shoulder for the millionth time I decide to implement a new strategy.

I decide to make a mysterious statement that makes her curious enough to respond to.

What’s the statement?

just saw

Notice how this text message just screams for a response.

Potentially I can have her going,

“Wait, what did he see? I have to know!”

Remember, the main goal of sending this text message is to get a response. Now, I am aware that there will be some naysayers out there who will look at this text message and go,

“But Chris, what if she is so pissed off at us that this isn’t enough to pique her curiosity?”

It’s a good question.

Of course, I have the solution.

Make it about her!

Wait… What?

What’s the number one thing want to hear about?

THEMSELVES!

I am going to tell you a fun story about me… or rather the psychology behind my curiosity.

One of the coolest things about working online now-a-day’s are all the great analytic tools at our disposal. In fact, I have one of these tools installed on this very website. It’s called “Google Analytics.” Basically all it does is track the amount of visitors that come to the website and where they came from.

Anyways, yesterday I was looking through the analytic report and noticed that a large number of visitors were coming to the website through my name,

Chris Seiter

Specifically, “Chris Seiter Review” or “Ex Girlfriend Recovery Reviews.”

Immediately I thought, “Cool, I wonder what these reviews are saying about me?”

So, I went to Google and typed in “Chris Seiter Reviews” and I found a woman who was talking about me.

I believe the word she used was “Douchebag…”

Ya, my curiosity bit me in the ass.

But look at the psychology behind my actions. Because my name was in the analytics report I just had to know.

And I’m not the only one who is like this.

EVERYONE is going to prefer to hear about themselves over anyone else.

So, use this to your advantage.

Now, I know what your thinking.

“But Chris… How? How can we do that?”

It’s simple.

We are going to take the idea behind the text message example above and center it around your ex.

So, the idea is to make a statement and allude that, that statement is about your ex.

Hmm…

Ok, try this on for size,

tell you

Now, upon receiving a message like that your ex girlfriend ideally should go into panic mode.

“What does he need to tell me?”

“Is it bad?”

“Ahh… I’ve got to know.”

Remember, the goal of this entire article is to get a response and this may very well be the best way to get it. Now, there is one small drawback to using this tactic.

The drawback is the fact that you need to come up with a compelling response to whatever your ex girlfriend says to you after you send this text message. But more on that later. For now, lets move on to the second way you can get a response via text message.

The Knowledge Approach

The premise of this approach is to use the knowledge that you already have about your ex girlfriend to your advantage in a text message.

Let me give you an example.

If your ex girlfriend loves Star Wars then you would probably want to make your text tie in to Star Wars somehow.

So, here is what I often tell men who are preparing this type of a text.

Everyone has that one thing that they can’t resist talking about.

For me it would probably be something nerdy like Naruto or Game of Thrones (yes, I am a nerd don’t judge.) Your goal is to find that one thing that your ex girlfriend can’t resist talking about.

Here’s what I want you to do. I want you to take out a piece of paper and jot down all of your ex girlfriends likes.

NOT her dislikes. I don’t want you talking about that at all.

Hmm…

Maybe I should do this little exercise with you.

Ok, my wife.

Hmm… what is one thing that she can’t resist talking about?

Two things immediately come to mind,

This,

baby lilly

(Our Baby)

And this…

hot air balloon

So, I would need to incorporate these aspects into a text to my wife if I were to get her to respond.

Maybe if I tried something like this,

interesting text

The key to this text is that it is built around my wife’s interests.

The theory is that she can’t not respond to this because of her excitement about those interests.

Now it’s your turn.

What texts can you come up with?

Ensuring That You Keep Getting Her To Respond To You

talk to me again

This is really what it’s all about.

You know, I have seen a lot of men come through Ex Girlfriend Recovery claiming,

“All I want is her to respond to me… I will do anything to get her to respond to me.”

Yet when I teach them what they need to do to get a response it isn’t enough.

For example, I had a guy last week somehow track down my personal email begging me for advice on how to get his ex girlfriend to respond to him. He said he came to the site, used the tactics and got a response but that was it. After that initial response there were no more and he was at a loss for what to do.

What’s my point?

Getting an ex girlfriend to just respond to you isn’t enough, it’ll never be enough.

I want to make one thing clear.

Our goal with this guide isn’t just to get a response. It’s to get a response every single time you talk to her.

But how?

How do we do that?

Well, I have already taught you the premise behind getting her to respond to you via text message and I am sure a large percentage of you who try my method above will get a response but there is more to this than getting a response.

What you need is a nuclear football.

The Nuclear Football

nuclear football

You do know what the nuclear football is, right?

It’s basically a satchel or briefcase that the US President (or someone close to the President) carries around that has the codes to launch a nuclear strike.

What does any of this have to do with getting an ex girlfriend back?

Well, YOU need your very own nuclear football if you want to ensure that your ex girlfriend will keep responding to you time and time again.

So, what is our version of the nuclear football?

Our Version Of The Nuclear Football: Making sure every conversation you have with your ex after you get her to respond has value and interests her to the level where she wants to keep talking to you.

Sounds relatively simple, right?

Well trust me when I say that it’s not. Especially when you take into account that the person you are trying to hold a valuable conversation with doesn’t want to talk to you.

So, I have taken the liberty of creating a cool little graphic for you to look at below,

convo with ex

This is something I like to call the nuclear football method.

It is also how you are going to ensure that your ex girlfriend keeps responding to you every time you reach out to her.

There are four parts to it,

  1. Getting Her To Respond
  2. Adding Value To The Conversation
  3. Ending The Conversation At The High Point
  4. Starting The Process Over Again

Lets talk a little bit about each part.

PART ONE: Getting Her To Respond

To be honest there is not much more that we need to cover when it comes to part one because I did a huge section on that above. So, if you have a sudden memory loss and need a refresher I suggest you go up and take a look at the section above about how to make your ex girlfriend respond to you via text messages.

Lets move on.

PART TWO: Adding Value To The Conversation

So, there is an important distinction that I want you to make here.

The goal isn’t to just have a conversation with your ex girlfriend.

That isn’t going to get you anywhere.

The goal is to add some type of value to the conversation. Women love to be fascinated and there are a million different ways that you can fascinate them.

Hmm…

I suppose you want an example.

Ok, lets go with something simple and lets say that you were to tell your ex girlfriend a story. But this isn’t just any story. This is a story that she will never forget. Something that she will remember on her deathbed.

Hmm…

I guess you want an example of that too don’t you?

Ok, I will tell you a story from my life and give you an inkling of what I am talking about.

Ten years ago something happened to me. I had a curious case of deja vu. Now, if you don’t know what deja vu is it is actually derived from the French language literally meaning “already seen.” In other words, deja vu means you see the same phenomenon twice. So, at this point you are probably wondering, “Ok, what the hell did you see twice.” Well, in order to understand that you need to understand what my life was like at that time.

 

Ten years ago I was a sophomore in high school and I was very into baseball, particularly pitching. Anyways, I had a great support system in that my dad would pick me up everyday after school and help me practice. Yes, he would literally catch me as I pitched to him. Anyways, one day as I was pitching to him I saw a curious cloud in the background. And that cloud got closer and closer to me until I noticed what it was.

 

BEES!

 

Yes, it was a swarm of bees that was heading straight at us. So, we did what any person who sees an incoming swarm of bees would do, WE RAN! Luckily the bees didn’t come close to us as they changed direction rather suddenly.

But that’s not the most amazing part of this story.

 

The next week something even more incredible happened while I was at school. You see, in addition to playing baseball I was also on the track team. Well, during a practice I noticed everyone suddenly stopping everything they were doing and crouching on the ground.

 

“What the hell are they doing” I thought to myself.

 

It turns out that they were crouching and hiding from an incoming swarm of BEES!

 

I couldn’t believe my eyes.

 

The bees were back.

 

Deja Vu!

These are the kind of stories that you need to tell to add value to a conversation.

Get it?

PART THREE: Ending The Conversation At The High Point

This is an essential part of this process.

After you feel you had added enough value to the conversation you need to end it at the high point.

Why?

Because of the simple fact that it will leave your ex girlfriend wanting more and the more she wants you the more she will be willing to respond to you.

PART FOUR: Start The Process Over Again

This one is pretty self explanatory.

Just keep doing this process over and over again and pretty soon you will have the only thing more powerful than a nuclear bomb…

A woman’s love!

(Ok, that was kind of goofy but you get what I am going for here.)

		

Written by EGR team mate

Chris Seiter

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308 Comments on "How To Get Your Ex Girlfriend To Respond To You"

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Xavier
Guest

Hello

Chris
Guest
Hi there. My gf broke up with me a month ago. I was supposed to proposed to her after 4 years. The main reason was that I was very close to this colleague of mine but we are just very good friends. My gf said she could not trust me anymore. I tried the nc for 21 days and recent texted her as her grandma passed away and I felt I needed to go to the funeral. I texted her in the last day of the funeral to ask how she was. She said she is fine. I asked her… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Chris,

How much did you improve yourself and how active were you in posting?

Kyle
Guest
Hello, I really need some help. It’s been nearly 8 months since my ex and I broke up, and we were together for 2 years and 8 months. After we broke up, we still kept in contact and talked for a bit for a month and came to an understanding that this might be for the best and she decided to cut off contact a month after we broke up. And just before we cut off contact, she showed some hints that she was talking to another guy. At first, I had thought that this break up might have been… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

don’t use a very emotionally memory text.. use a topic that she always loves talking about instead..

Rob
Guest

Me and my x broke up a year ago and finally made up and are trying to put the past behind us and work on ourselves and have positive thoughts. She wants to work on being friends but how can I get her back and she’ll want to text me first we just see each other before bed she asks how I am and that she’s going to bed

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

are you actively improving yourself?

Ceph
Guest
Hello! I met that special girl at the beginning of the year. She lives a few hours away in another town. We first met on a party where we talked a bit (she approached me) and I left the party later with her number. Over a course of weeks we texted a bit and everything was going well. We finally met again for our first date in my town. We spend a wonderful time together, came closer to each other an i could really feel the chemistry between us. Before she finally left she really didnt want to let go… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Ceph,

Yes, you can do that so you can slowly build rapport

Bryan
Guest

Hello, lost my wife recently. Tried messaging her to try and resolve our issues and let her know I am willing to hear out what she needs from me in the future. She never replied to my old messages. Unfortunately after I sent this one, she told me to stop and I got a “Just move on” message. She said she did her part but I failed to do mine. I do want her back but now I don’t know what to do or if I should just do as she wishes. Please help. Thanks.

Bryan
Guest

Please remove last name. Thx

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

do you want to try the no contact rule?

Bill
Guest
Hi, I broke up with my girl when she got distant from me… and I felt she was using me for whatever advantage she could get. I immediately really regretted it. I started the ‘no-contact’ rule, but then a mutual ‘friend’ interfered and sparked off a disaster… cut a long story short, the friend told me my ex wanted to go on a special holiday with me, so I bought the tickets and delivered them with flowers. Turns out, she wanted to go with a female friend of hers, but the mutual ‘friend’ omitted that bit of info. Afterwards, me… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Keep improving yourself, and yes you should post but avoid social media stalking her.

Craig
Guest

Ok, the part bought the story adding value is really inane. That really adds very little “value” to the conversation. Why don’t you handle topics that actually have resonance. Like, when an ex wants you to move on and you don’t want to. She says things like, “i don’t deserve you” or “you’re too good for me”. How do you handle that?

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Craig,

the nc doesn’t apply to all? Why did you break up?

Mike
Guest
Hi Chris and Amor, My ex and I have been together almost 2 years, everything was so perfect and I had very good relationship with her parents, especially her Mom. However, my ex broke up with me after a fight about three months ago when she was abroad… Actually, it was me who started to break up when we fought. I was just upset and regretted the day after. She was broken-hearted and didn’t want to break up at first. But after a few days ignoring me she decided to break up instead. I was shocked and hurt when I… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Mike,

I think you should restart and do 45 days..this time, dont talk to her mom and don’t initiate a conversation with her mom after nc.. be active in posting your activities in social media so that it would like you accepted her decision and chose to move on..

J
Guest
Ok so last talked to my ex about 29 or 30 days ago. Our anniversary landed in between I didn’t txt her. Maybe about a week afyer i tried txting her and she was short with me and then conversation eneded after 2 or 3 txts. I decideded to try the 30 days nc rule (I wasnt sure if i start from the break up or from from the last time i contacted her) My bday also landed in between and she txt me sayin happy birthday and I said thank you and that was that. Today Is 30 days… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi J,
how much did you improve during nc and were you active in posting in social media?

J
Guest
Well I’ve always been into workin out my diet could have always been better but now I have lost like 10 lbs and am actually eati ng a lot better. I have actually been focused on work yesterday they said I’m the top candidate for a sales lead position because I have been number 1 since then. I have also worked other things I like I have been ignoring. I mean I’m not where I want to be yet But I know I’m working harder to reach all my goals more than ever before. I have posted like 2 selfies… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

That’s good! Congratulations. But you have to post more, even if you’re blocked, there’s a chance that she’s still checking your posts. Make it a 45 day one, let’s hope she’s unblocked you.

J
Guest

Ok so today was the 45th day and I txted saying I had to tell her something. She responded and asked me to tell her. Then i told her about a dream I had about her and people she cared about involved. I did not receive a response. I don’t know where to go from here?

J
Guest

Ok so she replied later that night but I was playing basketball at the park when I received her messege sayin that is strange. I know she works early so she went to bed early. I didn’t reply right away. I txted her in the morning trying to continue the conversation but nothing

J
Guest

Ok so I txted her on the 45th day in the morning sayin I had somethin to tell her. She replied right away but I assumed she was busy and I left my phone while I went to the gym. And I replied saying howe I had a dream about her and some of her family members. She did not reply until 9 but I had gone to play basketball with some friends. I did not reply until the next morning and I got no reply. What should I do

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

start again a new topic after 3 days..

J
Guest

I have but she has not replied. My friend also told me he saw her with another guy. Imy not sure what else to do?

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

rest for a week before initiating again.. go back to being active and in posting and use a topic that she loves talking about

Erick
Guest
Hey Amor! This is Erick, the one who you responded a couple of weeks ago. If you can remember I was the one who had “roller coaster situation” with my ex-fiancee. Anyway, after some period of NC, she contacted me… well, I tried to fishbaited her and she responded because I started with a personal joke and she was laughing and talking to me. On the next day, she initiated contact but the weird thing is, she was quite irritated because of her laptop that she gave me.. she’s asking if when could I pay her up.. I told her… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

I hope it does work.. it’s a nice gesture. It thoughtful but not too “chase-y” what did you mean by mixed nc, how did you do it? I think you don’t have to do something else apart from that for it to be a surprise

Erick
Guest

well, I did “no contact” for several days and then tried to leave her a message or just to say hi .. I will do my best not to be “chase-y” so that it would work..I have a question, Do girls really like that during a break up.. hot and cold? I think she still has feelings for me but I want to progress it because I know I have a rival so I am worried about it

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Nope.. actually the idea of nc is to do at least 21 days for really short relationships, the most common is 30 days and then focus in improving yourself..for a chance of her seeing your value..if it as too short, the it wouldnt be enough to miss you and feel regret.. It’s not being hot and cold..its her realizing she’s going to lose you because you’ve had enough and regretting it because she misses you and because you’re improving.. if it was too short..you need to retart it. That means no valentines gift..

Abhijeet Sanyal
Guest
I have been on no contact from 13th september. Though my ex has liked a few posts on Facebook there has been no signs of contact from her end. She met me once and spent the night with me and told me she misses me and loves me and then on 13th september she started acting a little cold by telling me she does not want to give me hopes. So i have been on no contact mode, on 23rd october is our anniversary. Is it a good idea to establish contact then because by that time I would have… Read more »
Maxi
Guest
I’m wondering if if I blown it all? My ex fiancee broke up with me in december last year after 5 years together, and you could kinda say we’d been through it all. She was pregnant for 5 months, but last September she woke up with bad stomach ache and got to the hospital where they told her our child had only developed 1 brain half. I was supposed to be there when they removed our little angel, but I had stayed up all night the night before so I would be able to get to school the following day.… Read more »
Nick
Guest
Hello, I hope you can help… We were having a great marriage for 15 years we had a bad last 12 months, with fighting over her picking up smoking, I know I am stupid but could not see then. A number of fights, like 6-7 and a couple of those in front of her friends. 45 days ago, we had one such fight and she ended up renting a flat and moving out. She is telling her friends that she is enjoying her time alone. I texted, called, begged…everything during the first 2-3 weeks of the breakup. Since then I… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Nick,

do you want to start limited contact? that means you would only talk about your child and nothing else and just focus in improving yourself for x amounts of days

Julian
Guest
Hello, Need your advice please. My ex and I broke up three months ago. We were in a 4-hour long distance relationship. She initiated the break-up due to my being weak and needy, and poor communication. After not speaking for quite some time, I reached out to her casually last month and we texted and called each other often. At the time, we agreed to meet up for dinner when I visit her country supposedly this month. However, since the last two weeks, I started trying too hard and became needy again.. like, she told me about her travel plans… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi julian,

I hope you just went straight to nc.. are you in now?

Brice
Guest
Okay, so we broke up June 27th I did a 24 day no contact. Originally planned on a 21 day nc but I went on a vacation so I texted her when I came back. Well I’m usually able to get a response from her but it takes a few hours for her to respond. She’ll respond a few times then not at all. I have made everything about her. I’ve used her interests and good memories from when we were together. This for example “I went to the dentist today and heard someone in the room next to me… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

hmm to be honest, it’s not looking good.. either she senses you’re trying to get her back and she doesn’t want to or the messages are just not interesting for her..

and she’s not curious and interested with you too.. either you refrain texting two weeks and try one last or you do a full 30 days nc again, contnue improving yourself and date others too before trying again

Danny
Guest
My Ex broke up with me 3 1/2 months ago and in that time i’ve done two separate runs of NC, one for 30 days and then i tried reaching out a few times and got no response. Then i went into NC for another 21 days before reaching out again and this time i got a few neutral responses, so i’d wait a few days then reach out again then get no response, wait a few days then get a few neutral responses. About half way through this process she ended up blocking my phone # and facebook, but… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

hi Danny,

yes, she is just being nice.. I think the gaps of the days was too long apart.. what you should have done was improve the topics for texting

Mark
Guest
So summary of the situation. I met my ex on a dating site. She gave me her number and I asked to meet up. She was hesitant and told me that “her ex was suddenly back into her life and she wasn’t sure if they were going to get back together.” I persuaded her to just meet me. She did and instantly liked me, a lot. I liked her also. Things moved really fast. We met each others parents and families. I took her on a trip. Somewhere in the beginning she told me that “at some point I’ll probably… Read more »
Mark
Guest

Amor, can you give me some help with this? She gave me a positive response yesterday after I broke NC with my first text message. Like I said before, I want to do this right. I read the Story of how “Bob” left no stone unturned but failed and I don’t want this to happen to me. I love her and want her back. Please give me some advice.

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

how did you respond to her text?

Mark
Guest

I left it alone. It was the first contact message so I just didn’t respond to her “that was really cool” response.

Mark
Guest
So I recently found out that she is hanging out with her ex before me, maybe even back with him. I sent her a text last night asking if she had a every got a chance to send me back my things. She responded with “Not yet I’m sorry I quit my job and it’s been kinda tumultuous. I’ll send it or drop it off”. I responded with “Been praying for you (her name) this whole time. Can you chat for a bit?” She responded with “I can’t I have an hour to be somewhere and I just got out… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

yes..well, you have to stay calm..any heavy or negative interaction with her will just push her away

Mark
Guest

Should I try and set up a day to meet and get my things? Or should I just wait and go back into NC? Should I still try and get her to respond to text messages or just leave her alone and let the relationship she is starting with her ex before me play out?…I don’t want to ever become a GNAT.

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

don’t ask for it again for now..lay low for two weeks before asking for the things again

Mark
Guest

What should I be doing during the two weeks? Are we trying to see if she will reach out to me and let me know when she’s sending or dropping my things off?

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

contnue the activities you are doing and being active in social media.. nope it’s to help you eatablish that you have your own life

Mark
Guest

I deleted her from all my social media right after the break-up… how do I correct this mistake? We live about 50 miles apart so there isn’t really a chance of her seeing me ever again.

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

it’s ok, as long as all your posts are public because once she looks at it, she will still see your posts. ONce you built enough rapport again, just add her back..

Mark
Guest

How am I supposed to build up more rapport…any rapport, if I don’t text her or get her to respond in a conversation? She keeps liking my sister in law’s posts on instagram and it makes me so sad that I can’t even get a conversation with her.

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

if they’re not that close, that may be a sign that she’s ok to talk to.. make your account open for adding you back and you’re still not done with the two week’s right? are you also blocked with text messages?

Mark
Guest

Not blocked with text messages. I know for sure that she’s back with her ex before me…and it hurts. I tried to get her to talk to me about sending me my things and I got no response. I can’t figure this out. Time to move on and try to forget about her…she’s broken.

Joshua Wanine
Guest
Hey question. I dated this girl for three months. She dumped me, said she lost feelings, but still wanted to be friends, called me her “best friend” and actively tried to hang out with me multiple times after. We hung out twice. I hated it, so I told her I didn’t want to see or talk to her for a while. No contacted her for most of the semester, 90ish days, with the exception of saying hi when we saw each other around campus. Since that happened, I have decided I don’t want to just get over her as I… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Joshua,

work on your topics.. use the ones shw loves so that she ‘s more interested to talk to you and once rapport is built, ask her out again

Joshua Wanine
Guest

Focusing on common interests is good advice, thanks! That’s a big part of what brought us so close initially. Any advice for the situation that doesn’t involve texting? I ask because we didn’t text much if at all while we dated. I’m not much of a texter. I always assumed she wasn’t either, although that could have been because I wasn’t. Texting isn’t a way I particularly enjoy communicating with her (not just her, anyone). Any advice for when she’s back on campus?

Joe
Guest
Needing a little help, sorta don’t know what to do. I dated my ex for almost couple years, we broke up for about 4 months in the middle of that time, and we got back together and I really fell in love with her the second time. In my opinion was a great relationship when we were together. It was a long distance relationship, and the longer we were apart, the more fighting would happen. When we broke up about 4 months ago, and it was a bad one. I have read through all of yalls stuff and followed the… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Joe,

Try to insert humour in your email..be the one to start opening up too so she will slowly let her guard down and ask about her too

Joe
Guest

So i have been putting in some humor in the messages, and asking how she is………. When she responds back, its still very guarded, like she is fighting opening up, I’m ok with that, because if i were to ever get her back, i want to do it correctly. But how do you send messages, and not feel like i am badgering or begging??? Im trying to get her to open up, but not force it. Is it just a lot of NC or picking away at it???

Thanks

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Nope.. too much nc is not going to work.. it depends on the situation.. you have to try at first and while you’re texting her, you need to continue being active in social media to show that you have a life apart from her.. observe what her current interests are and I think once a day is enough at first while you’re still at the start of building rapport.

Benjamin
Guest
Hello. I need your help with my ex. So a little story about my ex and me. We were togheter for almost 3 years, and we both loved each other alot, we did fight periods but we were mostly friendly. Then i decided to break up with my ex girlfriend, and 1 month later i regreted it… We were going to stay friends (we were best friends for like 7 years before we started dating) but i kept bothering her with text messages, til the fact that she became annoyed by me alot. We had sex and kissed alot after… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Benjamin,

it’s time to make new friends.. It’s not that you should ditch them too but you should make new friends because not all of your friends will always be available for you.. Especially if that friend is close to your ex that doesn’t want to be with you at the moment.

Wesley
Guest

Hey I needed your help my ex and. Broke up a few months ago and after some time I contacted her we got back as best friends and we used to talk all the time but nowadays she says it feels weird talking to me and she doesn’t have anything to talk about and sends me really cold replys I don’t know what to do now please help me on this

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Wesley,

you mean it got boring now? or you’re too forward in getting back with her?

Wesley
Guest

Hi Amor
Yes I guess its because I got too forward in getting her back maybe she noticed it and feels weird whenever I try taking to her

XJ
Guest
Hey Guys, So I’d like to start by saying that I’m 20 years old and that I’ve only been in a few relationships in my life. One was where the girl only said yes out of pity, and another was the girl using me to get back at her real boyfriend. So my track record isn’t great. But then I started hanging out with this girl I’d known for the better part of 10 years, give or take. I had always had a huge crush on her and I decide to ask her on a date. She said yes and… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

HI XJ,

You’re broken up right? But you’re still seeing her every Sunday as a friend to go out? You have to stop that too.. or talk to her first, tell her you’re not ready emotionally to be just friends, that you understand her but you need to take this time for yourself and then do nc, and then improve yourself during nc..

XJ
Guest

I see her every Sunday because of church. That’s how I met her and that’s one of the few ways I got to know her before I fell for her. I’m just not sure how to go about it and that scares me. We were at the end of a long honeymoon period when she left me and it makes me feel like maybe she wasn’t really ready for a relationship at the time. But I’d do anything to be there for her and to be hers again.

mark
Guest
My ex of 1.5 years broke up with me 2 months ago. She felt as if something was missing in the relationship (me not really showing her how much I love her). I first cried to her which pushed her away…But after explaining my reasoning, she finally said she understands my view and why I acted certain ways with her, but then continued with her decision because of a gut feeling. She was always willing to talk afterward, but we would always come to the same conclusion that she is not ready to be in a relationship, and that she… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Mark,

it’s because you have to treat it like a restart.. if she doesn’t view you romantically anymore, that’s what you need to work out if you want her back.. but if you’re not sure anymore, then that’s a different situation.. think about what you really want first.

Jon
Guest
Me and my ex broke up about a month ago. We are both 19 met in college, in a class. We were together for 5 months. And then a month ago she broke up with me saying she couldn’t connect with and didn’t love me. I later contacted her sister who I was friends with and her sister told me I got to clingy, I had a litte but of trust issues when I didn’t need to, that I lost my personality, and tried to do everything my girlfriend did. Before she broke up with me texted my friend letting… Read more »
Jon
Guest

i stopped all contact with her for like 5 days are when our break up happened and then she texted me, saying “how come we were friends a couple of days ago and now we aren’t”? And then I gave in a have been keeping in contac with her for like 2 weeks now. Did I just screw everything up? Or should I stop the contact with her again? Or should I try a different method? Please help!? And thank you!

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Jon,

you’re friendzoned.. tell her that you need space because you can’t do friends now.. and then do nc..

Jon
Guest

Is there anyway to get out of the friend zone? Because I still really like this girl a lot! I’m afraid if I tell her I can’t do friends right now she will block my number and then I won’t be able to contact her if I wanted to try and persue her again

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

hmm.. that’s tricky because if she does that, that means she’s not giving you the freedom to heal.. and it’s like manipulation.. because the only way to get out of the friendzone is to stop being friends.. if you want, do it slowly..be more active in other activities while not totally stopping to talk to her.. but decrease your talking dramatically.. show it by social media posts and informing her about your activities.. you really have to risk losing her because if you keep holding on too much, she will just take you for granted.

SAM
Guest
Hey. How are you? I’m going through a really tough break-up. My ex and I were in a relationship for about a year and a half. Unfortunately, due to my (at first) commitment phobia, then a health issue that lasted for quite a bit, we started our relationship on not exactly the most solid foundation. We got past it though (or at least I thought) until she began to question my faithfulness. She always thought I was dating other women (mostly because I work in Hollywood, and I have a lot of female friends/coworkers/relationships… and she has a lot of… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Sam,

no you didn’t.. It’s good that you tried.. just give her space now and use that space for you, because that’s what she’s been doing.

SAM
Guest

Thanks so much for the reply, Amor! Good to know I didn’t blow it! I’ve definitely been using this time/space for me; new workouts, new activities, healthier diet and massive amounts of introspection. But, I guess my next question has to be, how much space do I give? Is this a scenario (because she’s depressed and/or angry) that requires me to let her just come back to me… that I don’t even reach out at all? Or is it one that I wait the aforementioned 45 days to say hello in some sort of casual/intriguing/supportive text?

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

you can try after 45 days but if she’s still not responding well, then let her be and then wait for her to message you.

Reacon
Guest
My depressed girlfriend [F28] pushed me [M33] away and broke up with me just before Christmas, as she said she can’t cope with the pressure of a relationship right now, and that she “needs to sort herself out on her own”. She said that I deserve better, that she’s not good enough for me and that she feels like she is a burden to me. She told me she wishes she could be a better person for me but her depression is getting the better of her. I was heartbroken. She said she knows she will regret letting “someone as… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Reacon,

if you want to try to get back with her, then take the opportunity to rebuild the attraction by texting her and then calling and meeting her when enough rapport is built. Take it slow before trying to ask her to get back. Pick a current topic like what she did..

Michael camp
Guest
My girlfriend broke up with me 10 days ago, we work together and lately it seems likes she is trying to make me jelous and flirting witb coworkers. didnt beg but i did try to convince her to make it work. She said its over and its been 9 days no contact. 2 days ago she was hanging out by were i work sorta flirting and as i walked by i said i like your new hair cut and she said thank you. Did that break the no contact rule or hinder it. She seems hurt/mad at me and i… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

HI Michael,

It didn’t break it because you didn’t have a conversation.. But don’t initiate again. I think you should continue but be active, improve yourself to increase the chances of attracting her

Edmund
Guest
HI today is day 8 of my break up….we were eating a meal whereby she jokingly say without you i wont be so stress.so i raged and pay the bill and walked off after saying i want a break up and all….then the next day i went to find her. she said she thought over it and dont want to go through the emotional pain again everytime.after i beg her she say she will think about it.the next day she still say no to me.after that for about 2 days i send a good morning. she asked me i wont… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Edmund,

sorry for the late reply, has she replied now?

Edmund
Guest
on april 3rd, i whatsapp her after calling her friend,her friend told me she also seem sad when they meet,her friend told me she was also very frantic on the day when i ask her to go away,asking her friends what to do, but the day after she made up her mind and have been rejecting me since then.my ex told me no meeting up and all through the whatsapp. so on april 5th i tried again,with no avail.end of the whole conversation she said just be friends.i never replied her.have been like the 6th day now?.what should i do… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Let her cool off for now, but be active for yourself as well.

Edmund
Guest

but when should i find her? i think i am active.going out with friends.studying,going church.but sometimes thinking of her hurts.just thinking on why she gave up on me hurts.she was the one who says everything can be resolve by communicating.

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

I think you should start with no contact instead because it’s been more than a week right? try to do 21 days.

Edmund
Guest

should i extend no contact if she never even send me a text through out this 21?

Edmund
Guest

oh and i upload a photo of a girl and me smiling at each other.side views.

Edmund
Guest

dont think i will extend.i will get the texting bible and prop text her tmr.

Edmund
Guest

her friend just told me she is slowly moving on and adapting.

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

it’s okay to initiate even if she didn’t text throughout no contact.. when you text again, come from a point that you’re starting over and not continuing on your previous relationship.. because that means you will have to rebuild rapport with her.. it’s like how you would act if you don’t have a history and you’re trying to get her to fall for you.

Patrick
Guest
Hey, My girlfriend of two years broke up with me a week ago. She told me that she doesn’t feel anything towards me, is not attracted to me and wants to be alone. I feel heart broken and I’m struggling without her. Last month it was our anniversary and she told me that she loves me with all her heart and is happy with me. However during the heated break up she told me she hasnt felt anything for the last 4 months. and she blocked my phone number. I want her back and I made the mistake of begging… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Patrick,

sorry for the late reply.. do you want to do nc?

Lee
Guest
Hi my girlfriend split up with me yesterday, she says she has gone from a long term relationship into another 4 year relationship and thats when she met me and needs some space to find who she is and sort out her issues. We were together 9 months and I treated her far better than any one had before. Yesterday she tells me we need to break up. Before this we had lived with each other at my mums house for the majority of our time together. She says she loves me and cares deeply about me still but isnt… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Lee,

if she lost respect for you, then it’s better to move on from her

Made Mistake
Guest
So I was dating a girl for about 6 months and then had to move across the country for a job. At first we talked about her taking a job out here but then I think when I was having a terrible time with my job and move she was nervous to come out here and I became needy for someone to talk to. Needless to say, she eventually didn’t want to have that type of relationship anymore. We were still texting and calling from time to time. The first break I got I went to go visit “surprise” her… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi,
sorry for the late reply..you said she was seeing somekne else..maybe that’s the reason why she isn’t responding

Jeremy
Guest
So my girlfriend left me because she started feeling not the same way as me because academic and personal stress got in the way of our relationship. She loved me more than anything and then a week after she told me how much she loved and adored me, she broke up with me. I applied no contact for 45 days, started messaging her lightly and plan to begin messaging her more frequently. We recently talked because we both wanted to clear up some misunderstandings so now we are on good terms. I explained I was being clingy because of depression… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Jeremy,

the purpose of texting is to actually build enough rapport to call and then more rapport and attraction to ask her out… Talk more about interesting things for her.. end the convo while still in high point politely..to build rapport

Landon benjamin
Guest

Mse and my gf broke up 7 months ago. I used pics of me with a friend a month ago to make her jealous. She immediately went into a relationship. She unfriended me on all social media. Her friend hooked her up. I went no contact on her for 30 days. Texted her and no response. I think she’s in a serious relationship. Shes bringing him to church a lot. Its hard to tell

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Landon,
do you see each other personally?

Landon benjamin
Guest

We do see each other every once in a while at my college. We both attend the same college so that’s the only time I see her. We have not personally talked for 4-5 months.

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

oh, have you tried being more approachable, like smiling when you bump into each other?

Landon benjamin
Guest

I have not tried that. She avoids eye contact so its kinda hard. I think I’ll just wait and improve myself even more.

ECP
Guest
Hi Amor, I have a 3-year relationshaip with my girlfriend and everytime we fight, I am the one threatening her to end the relationship because of the same issues happening over and over again, her being immature. But inspite of this, I still accepted her imperfections and reconcile. Now, weeks ago, we had a fight again and she decided to end the relationship because she have become blunt already. I pleaded and begged for her to return but she refused. I did not communicate to her and she send me message. I invited her for a coffee and we had… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Ecp,

do you mean she asked for a year off too from her ex but it took her 3 years to get back with or to get back in dating?

ECP
Guest

I mean, she asked bargained me to wait and see for one year. After one year, we will meet again and that she will decide whether to pursue our relationship or what. This is very selfish since we dont know what will happen in a year.

Before she was hurt to her ex bf and it took her 3 years to love again, and that is me now. Now she is asking for a year for us to reconcile. Any comments whether to drop this off or I will wait for a year?

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Do nc for 30 days first, if she texts you during that and then she’s not true to her word… but don’t reply.. text her after nc

CST
Guest
I successfully completed the NC rule it was hard as hell. I reached out with a text message within a minute I got a text back. I didn’t text back once I got the response. I waited a day and texted her I was limited to two text messages due to the tide theory. So I didn’t respond after she replied to my 2nd message. I waited a day and sent her a message. She responded, and then within five minutes she unblocked my number and sent me a text message. She let me knew that she was getting my… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Sorry for the late reply… Jist wait for a week and then une thw tide theory in texting. then text everyday but in increments.. if you started at 2, next day go for 3-4, next day go for 5-6 and so on

Jacky chan 23
Guest
One week has passed but I kept having neutral response. What should I do? Minor improvement is that she now starts to ask questions so that it doesn’t feel like interview. However, after a good conversation with short word counts. I experienced no response for no apparent reason. She didn’t end the conversation just suddenly no response. What should I do in this case? My friend said that I should stop contacting her again. My friend said that she just being nice and probably treat me as a spare. Thus, try to keep me in the loop. How can I… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Jacky,

sorry for the late reply.. You should go to the party.. Shoe your improvement but don’t be all over.. stop contacting her before that and be busy with your own and post it

PDT
Guest
After about six months apart, my ex and I have finally started talking again. She has been supporting me through a rough time, I am have slept at her place a couple of times when times have been rough for me. In general, she has been very supporting of me. It’s obvious she cares about me. Now after we have started talking again she has started calling me about trivial stuff. She knows I always carry my cellphone (for work purposes) so ignoring her texts and calls is pretty much impossible – as she would know I was ignoring them.… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Pdt

Maybe she wants to reconnect, rebuild the relationship

PDT
Guest

That may be possible, but we live in the same dorm and see each other every other day. If she wants to reconnect she has a lot of opportunities.

However, I’ve noticed that she holds back on the alkohol whenever we are at the same party. She never wants to get drunk, whereas she is no stranger to going into town with someone else. Her friends have remarked that she is Holding back whenever I’m there.

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

maybe she’s taking her time

Jacky Chan 23
Guest
Dear Chris and Amor, I have a problem with the girl I used to be close with. She is actually a friend of mine since 2011. She was in relationship with other guy when I met her. Mid last year (2015), she broke up with his boyfriend. We have started talking intensely since September 2015. I talked to her about my life, her life, my family, her family, tell jokes, hangout, etc. and then I started to develop a feeling for her. Although we never actually go out on a date, I decided to tell her that I like her… Read more »
Jacky Chan 23
Guest
Correction Paragraph 2: Since then, however, her attitude toward me changes. She started to be more caution about my messages and my messages started to annoys her. Partly, it is also because I treated her more than just a regular friend. Until one day, we got into a big fight because she told some of our friends that she was annoyed by me. I was angry. I felt that it should be kept private. I realized later that she only needs someone to share her feelings because she was not able to said it to me. I apologize and we… Read more »
Jacky Chan 23
Guest
I am interested in the Non Contact Rules of 21 days. What if she does not contact me by then? Should I contact her again after 21 days. What should I do after that to improve our relationship to be more than friend. I also interested in the texting bible. Let me know how the bible can help me to achieve my goal. Since right now, she wont respond to my messages. Next month will be her birthday and I plan to surprise her and gift her some special gifts? Is it a good idea? Please also answers my 2… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

for me you have to do 30, and to be honest, I don’t think she will message you during nc because that’s what she wants..space

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Jackie chan,

well you can do nc.. give her space because of push further, you’ll creep her out.. improve yourself while you’re doing nc and take time to buikd the attraction first, don’t confess your feelings right away. Build attraction by improving your looks, and putting more value in the table by learning what her interests are.. You have to connect and make her feel you get each other.. Don’t be there always too.. make her miss you too sometimes

Jacky Chan 23
Guest
Thank you Amor for the prompt reply. Sadly I just found out from her sister that there are a lot of other guys chasing her and she is close with one of them, although they are not officially become a couple. Her sister (also a good friend of mine) said that I should give up to avoid being hurt. To my point of view, if I still have a chance to be with her even after she has a boyfriend, I would love to take it. Even better if I can be with her before she decided to go with… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

If you can, just limit your interaction with her in the wedsing. Stick to your other friends.. of she greets yiu..greet her back and politely excuse yourself.. It’s bwtter if you just send the gift surprising her personally after nc, would be confusing for her

Jacky Chan 23
Guest

Thanks for the valuable responses. Regarding the birthday gift, I was wondering whether it is appropriate for me to send my drawing of her. It is something that I have never showed her before – my artistic side. Would it be positive or too personal because I followed the strategy of make it seems like moving on? Any birthday gift suggestions after NC and re-approaching period?

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

put in a card with the gift to elaborate why you gave that and make it humorous.. like, “I made this myself! I hope it gives justice but if not pardon the artist in the making in me :)!

Jacky Chan 23
Guest
Dear Amor, I have read the exGirlfriend Recovery PRO and texting bible. The book mentioned that if a girl is close with other boy, I need to avoid being the common enemy and I have to re-establish friendship. Currently, she is not official with the new guy yet. 1. I plan to give her my drawing as a friend regardless if this week or next week she decided to be official with the guy as my game plan. I already prepared for it. Please comment if you have other idea. 2. Two weeks from her birthday is her parents’ anniversary.… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hmm, if it’s her birthday, I think the drawing is ok as a gift but with her parents, I think that’s too much.. you can send a casual greeting to her, like “hey, happy anniversary to your parents” but just make it like that..coz as you said, you have to be just friends at first

Jacky Chan 23
Guest

Dear Amor,
The wedding doesn’t go as well as I planned. I tried to talk to her casually, but my friends were pushing us to talk and purposely sat us together. I guess she was annoyed and switch seats with her sister. It’s a subtle thing but I guess it signifies something. Moreover, other guy in the party was approaching her and she seems to be fine with that. I didn’t try to break the conversation the guys but due to the circumstances that situation happen? What should I do?

Jacky Chan 23
Guest
correction: set us to sit next to each other during the after party. I only talk to her nicely and offer her drinks also talk with her sister to avoid awkwardness. But her reaction clearly shows that she is not comfortable to talk to me or even be on the same room with me, despite the fact that she still replied my conversation. I felt that the pass 2 weeks did not change anything. She only talked to me as a nice gesture. Should I redo the NC again? I don’t know, or this one is fine? Problem is if… Read more »
Jacky Chan 23
Guest
Oh for the detail she did reply my text in one word “thanks”. I texted him as suggested in the text bible that I need to say something after meeting. I know this should be done after NC – since contact also should be done after NC. However, since contact has happened due to circumstances. I think I should say something. What happen yesterday was my friend purposely set table together. My friend drive the other guy away with drinks and drag me to seat besides her. Naturally, my friends begin the conversations with them by involving me. My friend… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

You know, she wants an image.. you shouldn’t change.. it’s like she just wants to have a trophy boyfriend

Jacky Chan 23
Guest
1. What about the NC? After that situation, should I restart the NC or I can continue the day count? My conversation with her during the wedding is only limited to friendship matter but she did switched seat for some reason (maybe uncomfortable). I tried to be neutral. It will be desirable if the day count is continued after that condition so that I can stick with birthday gift plan. I read the article on NC on special circumstances, but I don’t know whether I did it correctly. 2. If continue the day count, my NC will end on her… Read more »
Jacky Chan 23
Guest

*hold something behind her mind

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor
if she’s really after the image of “cool” guy.. that would be easy coz you just ignore her, maintain your looks, continue with being great in oher aspects, because cool guys don’t chase.. they’re the ones being chased.. imagine it.. for a cool guy, she would just be ignored if she doesn’t treat him right and the cool guy just continues in life to be successful.. You can ask the cousin to be a wing man for you, but make sure she/he makes it seem you didn’t ask him/her for it.. With nc.. continue the count.. and don’t initiate a… Read more »
Jacky Chan 23
Guest
Thank you. Responding to the cool guy requirement: I hope the NC can change her impression of me. Last time before the NC, she needed some space and I promised her to give one. However, the day after, I saw her in church and did some uncool thing. We met and she awkwardly greeting me. I was supposed to be cool and ignore the awkwardness but instead, I spoke with her and clarify why we are being awkward and told her that we need to solve this problem. I even sent her a bible verse about forgiveness (as I thought… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

That’s okay.. I agree with solving things too.. in this case, being silent is the solution..

Jacky chan 23
Guest

Hi Amor,
You suggested that I shouldn’t surprise her right after NC because it will be confusing for her. How about if her cousin or other friends initiated the surprise and ask me to join? We have a lot of common friends.

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

yeah, I think you can give that a try since it won’t be too overwhelming because you won’t be initiating it…

Jacky Chan 23
Guest
Hi Amor, I hope you are doing well. My NC is over and I decided to send her gift during her birthday. According to the book, it should be followed by the texting phase, but fortunately / unfortunately it did not happen as plan. I went to her house last Friday to deliver the gifts and she happened to be at home. Her sister was at home and asked me to wait for her sister (the girl I like), her father also there and greets me and we made a good small talk. After a while, the girl I like… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

maybe the guy is making an effort to be close but she doesn’t want to. I think you should take this opportunity now to build more attraction with her..text her and then call her too if you can.. after a week or two, ask her to meet up again. Nice move in breaking the touch barrier too!

Jacky chan 23
Guest

Hi Amor,
I tried to text her but I kept getting neutral response and long response time of 15-30 mins. What should I do?

Jacky chan 23
Guest
Hi Amor, She also invited me to her birthday celebration. However, I am unable to make it, because of several reasons. 1. I have a family event to attend to 2. I believe that she will invite the other guy also because I believe they are quite close and send her flowers. I don’t want to create awkwardness and ruin the event. Just recently do NC, I don’t dare to send her flowers or any other gifts that are too personal. I decided to tell her that I cannot make it in hope that she doesn’t see me as needy… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Jacky,

sorry for the late reply.. You should go to the party.. Shoe your improvement but don’t be all over.. stop contacting her before that and be busy with your own and post it

Jacky chan 23
Guest
I was unable to attend the party because I have a family event. End of this month, there will be another surprise party in potluck settings and she invited me. However, she also invited the other guy who are chasing and close to her. 1. What should I do? How should I behave in that situation? Competing for her attention wouldn’t be desirable. 2. It is highly likely that she comes w him, even though they are not yet officially bf and gf. Should I offer to pick her up? I’m afraid that I become common enemy w the other… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Attend it, just be friendly, you don’t have to pick her up.. Think of topics that you know she loves to talk about because that’s what will get her attention.

Jacky chan 23
Guest

Thank you. I’ll try. It seems that she treated me as a secondary contact since she also chatted w other guys and not very engaging w my text messages. I tried to find high point but until now I can’t find it yet. She responded short and has long response time while I know she chatted with someone else because she was online in WA and she said that she was chatting w her friend (could be that other guy, but I can’t be sure)

Jacky chan 23
Guest
Tried to text n call her. Despite her response, I felt that she doesn’t feel like communicating with me. Yesterday, I asked her through text if she was busy. My message was not read for couple hrs and then she replied that she was watching dvd. I called her but she didn’t pick up, so I texted her to let me know when she’s available (she didn’t read this text until morning). Very early in the morning she said that she was already asleep. I think its just her excuse to not contacting me and be nice. I decided to… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

did you give her a little space in the past two days?

Jacky chan 23
Guest
Yes, I was. I didn’t contact her 2-3 days before I contacted her that night. I decided to go to the event and we had a good conversation there. I texted her the next morning to check her condition because her alergy acting up in the event. These texts were nice. We had a brief 10 texts per person back and forth. It was nice and balance text since she’s also asking abt my condition but I didn’t feel that I can go to high point. Calling her were possible sometimes while frequently she didn’t pick up. I need idea… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

it can be all of those..but what’s more important is your own actions because you can’t control others.. ask other friends to go out so you can bond more..work on the topics.. pick topics that are more current

Jacky chan 23
Guest

I hung out with her in house boardgame activities, movie, and dinner. I thought that it went well. This weekend is a long weekend, so I asked her out over text. I said “it was pretty boring at work, where should we go this long weekend?” and she didn’t reply. So I stopped texting her. It was find when I talk abt other topics. What should I do in this case? Should I do NC or other?

Jacky chan 23
Guest

*It was fine if I talked about other topics. What should I do? Should I do NC for few days? I plan to talk to her after 2 days as if I didn’t ask her abt that question. What do u think? Its hard to build attractions if she keeps on closing her heart.

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

yeah, how did you manage to get her to hung out? I think long term or activities that are too intimate is too much for her. Maybe she’s thinking you wanted a date because you pointed out that it’s a long weekend.. but that’s ok, you have to take you chances.. Yeah, message her again after 2-3 days

Jacky chan 23
Guest
I didn’t manage to ask her to hangout. She and her sister was invited by our friends so I just simply joined them. I think it’s still hard for me to ask her directly that time. I arrived late to the boardgame so ended up helping her to win the game. I thought it was exciting. After the game, she has planned with other friends (not the one playing the game) to watch movies, so I asked her whether I can join them. She said ok. Unfortunately, I didn’t get the ticket but I manage to find other studio at… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

I think you need stop asking her and go out with your other friends as jealousy tactic.. it looks like you’re chasing her now..

Jacky chan 23
Guest

So I’m not supposed to chase her. How do I get her if I’m not supposed to chase her? Would she chase me back if I hung out w other friends? Until when shall I do this?
Texting and Calling should still be fine right?

I have had an NC of 14 days since she didn’t reply me.

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor
yes, texting and calling is alright.. don’t chase her because that’s unattractive right? Imagine an alpha male, they’re ok losing a girl if they know that the relationship is not balanced, and they maintain themselves, know what they want and what makes them happy but at the same time knows how to make girl feel appreciated but.. they stop when they know they’re being used.. so, aim for that.. if it’s been too long now, that she’s like these then it’s better to stop and move on.. if you really want her back.. let time pass, maybe 6 months or… Read more »
Jacky chan 23
Guest
Yes, it’s been quite long since I want to get her. She is chased by 7 guys since that time but until now I don’t see any progress to any of them. According to a friend, she is not ready to be in relationship and just want to play around. The trend is everytime I’m close to her she maintain distance but after some break period / 3-7 days NC. She will be very nice. My friends said that this also happens to other guys that chase her. It seems that she wanted to maintain her options without deciding on… Read more »
Jacky chan 23
Guest
I was playing the tit for tat strategy for the past months. If she gave me nice replied then I did the same. If she didn’t reply then I did NC for a week or so (which only happened once). I tried to make her comfortable during meeting w other friends. Show concerns when she’s sick by touching her forehead and some other light touches that she’s ok with. It all went well but it doesn’t move forward further. Thus, I’m considering different approach, rather than be a nice guy that care for her. Be bad boy that tease her,… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

that’s risky. With a lot of guys chasing, honestly it would be easy for her to move on from one guy to the next, unless she really loves the guy.. Just be confident.. the most important thing is you have your own thing , your own life and you excel at it and you look your best.. don’t be too available but don’t be rude.

Jacky chan 23
Guest
Dear Amor, Earlier on May, you said that it has taken too long (2-3 months from March to May) since I tried to reapproach her after the fight and gnat that happened on February followed by 30 days NC until March. You told me to move on and get away for 6 months, if I still decided to approach her again in the future. Actually, I have not contacted her at all for one month now, and even spent time and getting close with other girl. I haven’t seen her for 2 months. Before the recent one month NC since… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

your friend has a point.. but you can try to invite her maybe a day before your birthday. That can be your starter to rebuild rapport with her.

GQ
Guest
Im sure this will be an easy answer…..started dating my ex last july and before her I was semi interested in another girl. Mind you my ex chased me and ASKED ME out and im a guy which i found very strange but confident a woman knows what she wants. Either way we started seeing each other for dinners and then started actaully dating or seeing eac other.. I had a friend who was a girl she was a model but we knew each other since we were kids bascially and we would see each other from time to time… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

You live in the same city or state right? so there’s a good chance you will.. but do you plan on reaching out again to her?

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

hmm, actually I was asking to see what you really want, based on her text last december, she still has feelings but I don’t know of that’s the same as now..

If you want to reach out, you can try, even as a friend first, and then if she is serious with her bf, then just be visible or stay connected as a giid friend and build the attraction without being too forward

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

GQ Ibread your previous comment.. sorry I wasn’t able to answer the last one about knowing? I didn’t quite get that thougj..

did you mean if there are signs that she’ll get back to you?

And also with these comments.. do you mean it’s better to move on now than get rejected?

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor
I agree with you GQ! You have to fight for someone in a way that will not push them away.. basically to a situation where the girl has a boyfriend, it means staying present.. It may seem bad, but just being innocent friends with her, and putting yourself in a position where she can rely on you give more chance. Because actually if you go to forward, she’ll notice that of course, then she’ll avoid you to avoid ruining her current relationship. Basically, it may take longer, but you have to appear as the better choice compared to her current… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Sorry for the late reply… no of course, I appreciate waht you said…Sorry if it’s too general..Just tell me if you have a question to my previous comment to his okay? 🙂

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

if she replies right ahead to your email..transition to texting..if not,make it known that she can text you because that’s more convenient for the both of you

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

We can’t know for sure but it’s either she still has feelings for you or she is just beibf friendly..either one of those, you should build rapport first.. since you can’t text her email once or twice a day ..it’s okay of you miss 2 or 3 days as long as you left at a good note.. but actually it jas to lead to texts better if calls somrwhere down the line.. if you can get her to meet as friends that’s good too but for now focus on building the connection again

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

well not yet.. because it’s still early.. you’ll start to notice what she really want as the time goes on..

. im pretty much any normal person in a relationship wouldn’t agree on frequently chatting with a past lover.. specially if its that soon..

You’re right with that! That is what her current bf would think too, that’s why you need to tread lightly, so that he’ll appear the jealous one while your ex just thinks you’re being friendly and she’s happy talking to you

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

if you’re sure that that friend won’t talk to her that’s okay..

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

I think you’re doing good..it’s hard to reconnect via email… when you’re both comfortable enough, you can ask her for coffee… make it as casual as you can, like you have something to attend to near her work and you have a little spare time because it’s after lunch, if she wants, you can catch up with a short coffee before you proceed to your meeting..

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor
But how’s the convos now? Are they still positive and she just doesn’t want to meet up? Hmm.. is there a near Starbucks to her work where she can spare 30 minutes? You can tell her that you can give her things there, and then sit inside… pick a spot where she can sit beside you.. But actually, if there is not enough rapport, this is a bad idea.. Because she might not talk to you.. she might just get the stuff and leave.. The situation can make her sit down beside you and talk.. but we’re not sure of… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Yeah, a lot of girls talk to exes because they’re just being friendly.. If you want to meet up to get a closure…that’s okay of course..

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

if it’s for closure, if you send that email, I think she will be honest with her feelings too.. In that way, at least you would have a clearer perspective by then on what to do..

ANONYMOUS
Guest

Withing 3 days of my NC period, my ex sorta texted me and I ignored it, but someone had hacked into my account and apparently asked for a “hot pic”of her. And through a mutual friend we sort of calmed things down. Then she directly contacted me and said that she wasn’t feeling well and wanted me to talk. It was kind of super creepy and she was totally scared. So I had to break the No contact and talk to her, hope I did the right thing. And would like your help to proceed, thanks in advance 🙂

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

have you talked it out now?

S
Guest
Hey, My girlfriend and I broke up back in july 2015. I had just finished high school by then, while she was in her senior year of high school. We had dated for about 10 months and tbh it was a great relationship. But she broke up because she felt bad about going out with her best friend for dinner after he had asked her out. She also said that her parents wouldnt approve of her being in a relationship, and that it would put pressure on her academics as well. I begged and pleaded for her to stay but… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

I think you’re doing good, just keep thr connection alivr with variety.. make more memories together before she goes away

S
Guest

Hey thanks for the quick reply ! But she seems to prioritize the college senior dude over me most of the time especially while chatting. Like I’m really worried that they might end up dating soon. I won’t be able to see her in person until May .Sometimes I just feel like I should ask her out asap but I feel it would be better to do it in person. But then again, I dont want to be too late. What do you think I should do about that ?

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

if you think she’s comfortable enough with you to be asked, go ahead..

S
Guest
Hey I’m back again ! So she told me yesterday that she started dating the college senior dude a couple of days ago. She seemed very sombre when she told me about it and said that she was sorry about it. I told her that I still really liked her and that idk what else to say. She said that she thought I had moved on months ago but I said that I was just a little mad at her for a few days but then later realized that I still liked her. She said that I should’ve told her… Read more »
S
Guest
Hey again ! So my ex told me yesterday that she started dating that college senior dude a couple of days ago. She said she was sorry and I said that I still really liked her. Then she said that she thought I had already moved on. But then I told her that I said I moved on because I was a little mad at her after the break-up but later realized that I still liked her. Then I told her that I would’ve asked her out but I didn’t want it to affect her academics and college applications and… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi S,

sorry for the late reply.. did you contnue talking to her after that?

S
Guest
So yes I continued to talk to her after that. So I came back to her town about a month ago. And a week after that I met her although her boyfriend was completely against it. It turns out that he has access to her facebook account and read all of our messages. Eventually he asked her to stop talking to me and she did it very reluctantly. But we ended up maintaining contact anyway, much to his displeasure. She then send me a message saying that I should really move on and look for other people. I told her… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

She’s not independent if she’s like that because she can’t decide for herself.. Did you continue to maintain yourself? Coz that’s contributes in terms of attraction.. She has to see that you’re not going to wait forever.. You have to start being active going out with a group of friends at first and then being active in social media again to make her jealous through your posts with your friends.

S
Guest
She is quite independent if you take her bf out of the equation. She just feels really intimidated by him. She keeps in touch with me thru email although he has banned her from all communication with me. I do post a lot of stuff on social media, but now it will be harder for her to see coz he unfriended me thru her facebook account, although instagram is still around. Should I try and cut contact for a few days if you think it will get her more excited about me ? Because I make myself available to her… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

yeah.. since you talking to her is not going anywhere.. you should definitely do no contact

S
Guest

how many days should i do nc ? 2 weeks is good ? coz I dont want her to stop thinking about what I told her just a few days ago about her bf being a control freak.

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

if that is true, saying it one time is enough because his actions will show it no matter what.. I think you should do at least three weeks

S
Guest

I will try. After that, should I try and tell her that her bf is no good or just play it cool and try to get her to hang out with me ?

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

nope.. focus more on you and her, so that when the boyfriend points out that you’re trying to ruin their relationship or what not..she won’t remember you saying it like that and she’ll disagree with him and get more pissed with him and see him as overly jealous

S
Guest
So i kinda snapped nc today. My best friend and I were going out for a movie and he told my ex that she could come too if she wanted to. She readily agreed. But he then told her that I might not be talking to her coz Im trying to move on to which she said that “oh I can stay away then”. But then I decided that I should call her and tell her that she can come which she eventually did. She also told me that I shouldnt tell her boyfriend that she was with me for… Read more »
S
Guest

Also. She pointed out to my friend that I hadn’t replied to her in a few days and asked me to reply to her. So Last night I sent her an email but she hasn’t replied yet.

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

are you still talking now?

S
Guest
She told me that she was in a crisis and asked me for help. I ended up giving her enough reasons for her to break up with her bf. She went ahead and told him that she wanted a break from him. She told him that her mum has problems with him, that she wants to get her friends back and that she wants to stop being controlled and that she feels guilty about talking to me although he has a problem with it. Then she starts talking really nicely to me, just like how we used to while we… Read more »
S
Guest
Now it turns out that she was having a conversation with that best friend of mine and all of a sudden she gets mad at him and blocks both him and me on facebook. My best friend showed me his chat and it is clear that her bf is tightening the knot on her by getting her to be dependent on him and no one else. he is clearly manipulating her but idk why she isnt spotting it even though Ive warned her about this so many times. Everything looked like it was going well in the past few days… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

then don’t get caught in her mess.. pull away when she’s being like that..she to notice that you’re not just going to wait and stare in whatever your decision. you have a life too..

S
Guest

Okay it turns out that she had just deactivated maybe. I was thinking I should call her next week. Do I go ahead with that ?

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

nope..dont do that just yet

S
Guest
Last night she asked me to help her with the problem she had with my best friend and I kinda helped. My best friend had said some mean things and i told her that i dont defend him when he’s wrong. She said that Im even more supportive than her bf and even he would never stand up for her like that. After that I just opened up to her and told her that I love her. She didnt say much after that but she apologized to me today for behaving weirdly last night. And asked me if I would… Read more »
S
Guest
I met her before she left today. She told me that she confessed to her bf that she hung out with me though she wasnt allowed to. He wasnt happy about it and said that she broke his trust. She said that he was right about this and he told her to never meet me again. She told this to me and said that it was right for her to tell the truth to him. I told her that it was right to confess but that she shouldnt have agreed to never meeting me again. She said that she wasnt… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

you have to back off for a while.. try to do at least 2 weeks.

mushfiq
Guest
i need to ask you something.. i am very confused about it….i have been in relationship with my gf from past 2 years…we were having nice time together but suddenly everything changed….we just fite fite fight…all the time as i wasnt able to trust her but i do love her alot to the level of madness,she tries to break my trust once….but i forgive her, she talk to guys without telling me as we were in long distance relationship…then i was angry i called her mom send nude of her photos to her mom…and threat her saying i will show… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Mushfiq

have you sent a sincere apology to her and her family?

mushfiq
Guest

yes i have send her but she still not rplying , what should i do ? she dont even acept my valentine gift

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

You have to giv her more time then.. you cantry to apologize latwr on.. but after that distance yourself again, so you don’t appear chasing her

GQ
Guest
Im sure this will be an easy answer…..started dating my ex last july and before her I was semi interested in another girl. Mind you my ex chased me and ASKED ME out and im a guy which i found very strange but confident a woman knows what she wants. Either way we started seeing each other for dinners and then started actaully dating or seeing eac other.. I had a friend who was a girl she was a model but we knew each other since we were kids bascially and we would see each other from time to time… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

You live in the same city or state right? so there’s a good chance you will.. but do you plan on reaching out again to herM

Tony Stark
Guest
Hello Chris and Amor, I need some guidance please. Here is the back story and where I am at now. My ex-gf suffers from bad relationship anxiety due to past relationships that never seemed to end well for her, she’s told me this and I could see and feel it. She always had her guard up and was very reluctant to let me in. It took me a good 6 months to finally win her over to point that she just couldn’t be without me. She got to the point where she would literally text my all throughout the day… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor
Hi Tony Starks, No you didn’t kill your chances.. Honestly, I don’t understand her too because it’s too sudden but if that was really the reason it means she lost the feeling of desire for you. You said, you made her feel loved all the time, which is great but that can also mean the relationship got boring or it was too secure and there was no variety anymore. It can be puzzling how something good can end a relationship but anything too much is bad.. So as shallow as this might be, yiu need to start again with attracting… Read more »
Tony Stark
Guest

Thank you Amor. I really thought it was because of her relationship anxiety and that everything was going so well that she got scared. I will take your advice. Thank you gain.

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

welocome 🙂

Tony Stark
Guest
Hello Amor, OK so I’m being honest here… The improving my look was a bit of a blow to my Ego. Maybe, I need to ratchet my Ego down a notch or two. LOL In any case, my main objective here is to get the love of my life back, please also give me a game plan for after the 21 Day NC. I think she might not initiate contact that whole period because she is stubborn like that or she has really just moved on. Do I go to 30 Days, 45 Days? Don’t forget that I’m also still… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Oh yeah… that means you have to wait until you’re unblocked.. and then after whrn you noticed you’re unblocked,wait for another 2 days, so, it’s not so obvious that you’re just waiting for her to unblock you… In the mean time, think also about topics thag she always talks about

Tony Stark
Guest

Thank you Amor!

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Welcome 🙂

Tony Stark
Guest

Hello Amor, So I’m on day 24 of the NC Period and just like I anticipated, no contact from her at all. Do I just let this NC Period run indefinitely waiting for her to reach out to me? What if she NEVER reaches out to me, do I just consider this a wrap and move on? Is there anything that I can do to help initiate contact?

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Set a timeline for yourself.. honesty the only way that can help is to actually move in.. If she checks your profile and she sees that it’s clear with you, she might feel safe to unblock

Tony Stark
Guest

Hello Amor, You lost me. What do you mean “move in” and she’ll check my profile to see if “what is clear”.

Tony Stark
Guest

I’m assuming you mean my Facebook profile.

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Oh god, so sorry for the typos.. I meant move on and yes Facebook profile..

Tony Stark
Guest
Hello Amor, I just successfully completed a 30 Day NC and just like I suspected, not one attempt at communication from her, also I am still on a full Social Media block and I’m assuming still blocked from calls and texts as well. I see on her FB (through a mutual friend) that she’s going out to a local bar with one of her girlfriends now, I don’t see anything about her being with another guy, although I’m sure there are plenty that are talking to her or trying to talk to her. So do I just keep doing the… Read more »
Tony Stark
Guest

Hello Amor, I forgot to mention that during the NC period, I have managed to lose over 20lbs, not that I was obese but I could afford to get down to 165lbs, I have also put together a new team in my business and am currently training them, I’ve gone out here and there and posted pics on FB to show that I’m not just sitting around at home anymore like I was back in December.

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Wow!! That’s great…

I reread your previous comments.. ‘coz she’s stubborn, Do this one last move.. extend to 45 days, if you’re still blocked try to do a “random encounter”, does she have a place she always goes to? or an event she will be attending that you can ask friend to go there with you as well.. if there’s no event try the different number approach… forget the snail mail.. I think that would too long to know what her reaction would be..

So, after that if it doean’t go well.. at least you know you’ve done your part

Tony Stark
Guest
Hello Amor, Thank you for responding so quickly! I’m sure you can hear my tone of desperation in my messages. LOL In any case, I’m leery with the “random encounter’ option based on the last legitimate “random encounter” that I had with her at that one particular industry event. She was so cold and borderline rude to me. I never expected to be treated that way by her, considering I did nothing wrong to her the whole time that we were together. I’m going to opt for the different number approach, there’s an app called Burner which allows me to… Read more »
r
Guest
I and my girlfriend were in relationship for 1year. All ws going well.we were best couple.suddenly few months back the spark ws lost.just few days back she broke up with me. she is saying is im out of love,not interested in love.she is texting me daily and she wants me to be her friend. which I sd I don’t want to be.I hd brought gift for Valentine’s day.I hd sd her abt gift even though after breakup she wants the gift as memory. should I give her or not.I want her back.now what Shuld I do to get her back.… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

If she wants the gift, it’s better if you give it

r
Guest

What to do to bring her back

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hmmm of she said the spark was gone, that can mean she wants you to make her feel more appreciated and wanted.. go out together but don’t ask her all the time to get back with you..
if she doesn’t want to go out with you or spend more time with you, do nc at least for 21 days to give her space and let her miss you

Josh
Guest

in your texting bible and exgf recovery program you said after NC and texting her and getting a positive response we should end the convo immediately and get back to her a later date. I did do all of that. my question is that chris said to Specifically wait a day… for example if i texted her on a monday night…waiting a day… does that mean i text her 24hrs later on tuesday night? or wait a full day and text her wednesday night?

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

wednesday night 🙂

Vishal
Guest

I and my girlfriend were in relationship for 1year.nw she wants to breakup bcoz she hs lost interest in me and is not in love.but stll she texts me after breakup.she wants me to be her best friend.I want her back what Shuld I do to get her back.

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

That means you weren’t treating her romantically or sweet enough. Instead of doing nc, why not try to treat like her like you were getting her to say yes again. Treat her like when you were at the start of the relationship

Vishal
Guest

Shuld I be her friend??

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

starts as friends with the goal of winning her back 🙂

David
Guest

Quick question. Before the breakup, we’ve been sharing a netflix account with 2 profiles. Should I go in and delete my profile or should I leave it? I’ve been going through the 30 day no contact rule. Would she remember me in a good way or not if I left it there?

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Don’t delete it..that can be something for her to miss you

Jake
Guest
I tried sending the type of message she’s meant to respond to, but she didn’t respond to it. On December 22nd, I was emotional because she returned my shirt through mail and wanted hers back (we’re long distance) after not responding for days. So I sent her a wall of text how I’m different and that I am good for her and all that usual stuff. After that message I decided to go into no contact. Now I went a little more than 30 days because I wasn’t sure it would really work and in all honesty I was afraid… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Actually what matters more is the response time after she reads the message.Have you noticed what time she mostly reads her messages now? Try one last time sending the interestig message

Christian
Guest
Hey! So my ex and I broke up 5 months ago after a 20month relationship, and I ticked her off by constantly trying to talk to her 3months ago… After she stopped responding to my attempts i did 21 day NC, tried to talk to her and failed. I then did 40days NC and sent an EGR type of recommended text and she finally responded for the first time since the beginning of December and told me she doesn’t want to be friends and that my chance of ever getting her back is over. Said she is doing great since… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

If that was just recentlu, it’s better to be distant until she’s ok again

Taylor
Guest

Still no email reply after I sent my receipt … Let me know something when you get time

Anonymous
Guest
Hi there again. This morning I texted my ex out of the blue to come over to my place. She ended up coming over which is a good thing right? When she got here we had abit of chit chat and things were OK. She started to turn cold and her body language was not open to me, she said a few things about how she is happy now and is completely over our 4 year relationship she shared with me. She said near the end she “forced herself” to love me and was kinda settling. Now she says she… Read more »
Anonymous
Guest

I took Amor’s advice and persued her abit in asking for this meetup and seeing eachother. Initially it was her idea for us to meet up this evening but his morning I told her to come to my place in a few minutes instead – which is what we did. Is me pursuing her backfiring now?

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

what were the chit chat about? When you asked how she could have changed in the span of 3 months, what did she say?

Anonymous
Guest
The chit chat was just about how we had been, things we have been doing etc. I touched her arm lightly during conversation and then a little while later she touched my leg. I noticed as soon as we started talking about us and our feelings she became standoffish and her body language closed me off. We broke up only 3 months ago after a 4 year intense serious relationship. When I asked her, especially about changing about marrying me she couldn’t give me a straight answer and said she thought she would marry me and that would be her… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

It’s going to be harder when she goes abroad by then that means you have to connect through text and social medai.. Don’t bring up feelings and relationahip status..Onky do that when the attraction is back

Anonymous
Guest
Your right it is harder. Today I messaged her saying I will be in the park bench where we first met for 15 minutes at 15:45 and that I would be going to the airport as well and that I hope she will come see me in the park or airport before she boards her flight because I feel although it hurts we need to say goodbye. Her response to me was “please don’t come”. She never showed up at the park and turns out I got to the airport in time but couldn’t find her before she went though… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor
If they’re in honeymoon phase and she knows you still love her, she might ignore your text. But it’s better to try and found out. But honestly, if that is rebound,she will still compare him to you. So, make her see you’re the better choice. Maintain yourself and be friendly with her when she connects. Do new activites. It may sound shallow, but that’s the truth. If she sees your improvemens, she will miss you and when you’re not pushy about getting back together and just keep getting interesting in the long time, when they approach a rough patch, she’ll… Read more »
Anonymous
Guest
What exactly do you mean by “its better to try find out?” How do I make her see I’m the better choice with her being half an ocean away now? I’ve been posting pictures on fb etc and we haven’t had any contact at all since she ignored my last message. So do you suggest I should still be keeping contact with her? As I have gone into a mini no contact trying to make her miss me, or would that not work given that she has this other fool after her now? I try to believe their relationship can’t… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Oh I meant, it’s better to try to text her and find out if she’ll igbnore it or not

Anonymous
Guest
Ok I will give that a go. Amor, yesterday on valentines day was our 4 year anniversary which really sucked. She has been in America for a week settling in and a few weeks ago I had secretly organised white roses (white roses are special to us and she admitted in the past that they make her think of me), small teddy bear and a moving card to be delivered to the host house she was living at. I know it would take her completely by surprise and it did. The hostess mother received the flowers at her house and… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

well what’s more important is that she’s coming home

Anonymous
Guest

She is definitely coming home she’s cancelled her trip. Thing is I found this out without anybody knowing and she hasn’t even contacted me or anything so not sure what to do with this information or whether to act on it or not?
I can only assume the full weight of my white roses sent to her on what would have been our 4 year anniversary has finally hit her, either that or she began missing this other guy and the party life style she has been living in? What do you suggest to do?

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

I think it’s better if you wait for her to be home before doing anything

Anonymous
Guest

I guess what I am trying to ask is: is there such a thing as chasing her too much?
My sentiments have been showing me chasing her. Should I pull back and stop chasing or use this as an opportunity seeing as she decided to cancel her contract upon getting my white roses?

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

there is such a thing.. so you have to balance it out

Anonymous
Guest
Woke up this morning and found out I am now in a full block from her! 🙁 What causes an ex to block somebody out of the blue soo long after breaking up 3 months ago. I can only assume it is for something I have done recently to make her want to shut me out soo hectically but the thing is I can’t think of anything I’ve done since I have been in NC with her and all I did was drop many of her things and our memory box off at her place while she wasn’t there. I… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

did she know that you knew she was coming back?

Anonymous
Guest
No as far as I can tell nobody knows that I knew. All I have done is deliver her those flowers on valentines day and her host mother emailed me telling me about it and that she is quitting. So there’s only the flowers and the fact that I dropped off a lot of her and my things with her parents this past valentines day while she was out the country. The parents did ask me to visit during that time and we ended up talking for 2 hours or so. I don’t know if they mentioned something to her… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

well something definitely caused her..maybe her parents did tell her you came over

Anonymous
Guest

Why would me going over to drop her things off anger her? Her blocking me doesn’t make sense at all.
I have been thinking of sending her a letter – as explained in one of Chris’ articles. Should I go ahead with it in this case?

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

I’m not sure.. that’s the only thing upon your comments that might be a reason.. could something her parents said or asked about you annoyed her? give it a little more time before you send a letter..make sure she’s not that angry

Anonymous
Guest

Yeah your right or it could have to do with the fact that this other guy is around now. It will be tough to gauge her mood towards me now that I am fully blocked though and we don’t really have mutual friends anymore that I could ask.

Anonymous
Guest
Amor, thanks for all your help so far. I’ve just seen on Facebook this morning that she has changed her relationship status to “in a relationship” with this other guy so I have an inkling she blocked me either to protect my feelings or because of me dropping off her things. I am not sure what to do next, could you please chat to Chris and point me in the right direction with regards to contacting her or setting a goal with her as I am doing all the self improvement etc in the background. What approach should I have… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Sure.. I’ll forward your story to him and then of he can he’ll reply it himself, if not he’ll forward it to me to answer you