Nothing is going right…
You thought you met someone special…
You thought you had something that would last a long time…
And then, just when you thought things were going great she drops a bombshell on you…
“We need to breakup…”
Ah, its a story I have heard far too often here on Ex Girlfriend Recovery.
Boy meets girl…
Boy gets girl to fall in love with him…
Girl rips out guys heart and stomps on it half a million times…
Anyways, men who get their hearts stomped on by their ex girlfriends often come to this site trying to make sense of the events that have just turned their lives upside down and that is where I come in.
I have been called a lot of things in my time…
Future world leader…
But without a doubt the thing that I take the most pride in is being called an “EX”- pert.
What is an “EX”- pert?
I am so glad you asked!
An “EX”- pert basically specializes in helping people repair their broken relationships. In other words, I help exes get back together.
And I am going to help you right here right now by teaching you to use one of the most powerful emotions to your advantage, regret!
What This Guide Is Going To Do For You
Those of you who are loyal fans of this site know that when it comes to my “guides” I go above and beyond for you.
Well, this guide is going to be no different.
In this section I am basically going to sum up exactly what this guide is going to cover and how it can help you with your ex girlfriend.
Before I get started here I want to make two big assumptions about you and your ex…
Assumption One = You want your ex girlfriend back.
Assumption Two = SHE broke up with you.
If I am assuming these things then it is pretty much common sense that in order for her to want you back you are going to have to make her regret letting you go.
But how do we do that?
How do we make your ex girlfriend hurt so bad without you that she wants you back?
Well, below I have put together a game plan outlining exactly how we are going to go about this process.
Does this make sense to you?
If it did I’d be shocked…
(Don’t worry, by the end of this guide I promise this will all make perfect sense.)
Basically this guide is going to be covering the following topics,
- The NC Rule
- The Frank Sinatra Effect
- The GIGS
- How To Make Her Regret Leaving Through Text Messages
- How To Approach Seeing Her In Person
Of course, before I really start tackling these subjects one by one lets talk a little about the power of regret.
The Power Of Regret (AKA: Why You Need It)
Have you ever heard someone use this phrase before?
“He was the one that got away…”
“She was the one that got away…”
What does someone really mean when they say this?
Well, before I give you the answer to that I want to tell you a little story.
A few years ago I met a fellow who I actually became very good friends with.
Lets call him Caleb… (that is not his real name but bear with me.)
Caleb had a pretty interesting life story.
He was in his early thirties, had been in the army and he was divorced.
One day we got to talking about Caleb’s past…
(I am a nosy person and I know a thing or two about relationships.)
He told me about what went wrong with his ex wife and how she had cheated on him, how he thought he didn’t deserve that and how he hardly ever thinks about her anymore…
Me: “How long ago did you two get divorced?”
Caleb: “It’ll be about five years next Tuesday..”
Me: “Oh, I am really sorry to hear about that… Divorce is really tough…”
Caleb: “You know, it’s funny… I don’t really think about her all that much anymore.”
Me: “Why not?”
Caleb: “I guess I felt I was right to let her go. I don’t really have any regrets with her but with my ex Brittney… I still think about her to this day…”
Me: “Who is Brittney?”
Caleb: “She is my ex girlfriend from College. She was the one that got away. I think she is married and has two kids now but if I could go back in time I would marry her. She was perfect. I really regret letting her go.”
You know, most people when they go through a divorce they really struggle with it.
Many people get caught up in their failed marriage and do everything they can to fix it.
Yet here was Caleb… He was still caught up on an old girlfriend from college.
A girl he dated a DECADE ago!
All because she was the one that got away…
When I first started this section I posed an interesting question.
What does someone mean when they say,
“He/She was the one that got away?”
Simple, it means that if humans had the ability to time travel they would turn back time and NOT break up with that person. Time and experience teaches them that they made a mistake in leaving the relationship with that person.
It is basically an admission that they want to get back together with that person.
For example, lets pretend for a moment that I was dating your ex girlfriend back.
Well, if I was dating your ex and in my mind I dubbed her as the one that got away then given the opportunity I would get back with her.
Now, imagine if you could do this to your own ex girlfriend in your real life situation right now?
Imagine the power of that?
Imagine the power of being dubbed,
“The One That Got Away…”
That is the power of regret.
And this guide is going to teach you all about HOW you can make that happen.
Regret & The No Contact Rule
Have you ever wondered why I constantly go on and on about the no contact rule?
I imagine it must be pretty annoying.
At times I probably sound like a broken record.
“Do NC in this situation..”
“Do NC in that situation…”
“JUST DO NC!!!”
Well, there is a reason for this.
When you look at getting an ex girlfriend back from a birds eye view it makes sense that in order for her to want to take you back she is going to have to regret letting you go. Well, the no contact rule is an excellent way to expedite that process.
How The NC Rule Can Expedite The Process?
I want to tell you two stories.
One is about a man who ended up getting his ex girlfriend back and the other is about a men who didn’t.
Lets start with the man who didn’t succeed.
(For examples sake we are going to call him Joe.)
So, Joe ended up finding my site, Ex Girlfriend Recovery, read through it and thought my advice was brilliant.
(I am brilliant I know 😉 .)
He really wanted his girlfriend back and thought my strategies were his best shot to do that.
There was just one problem…
When it actually came time to implement my strategies he didn’t have the strength of mind to follow through. For example, Joe thought the idea of a no contact rule was brilliant but found that when push came to shove he couldn’t actually cut his ex off.
He was too infatuated with her.
(For those of you who don’t know what the no contact rule is you can learn about it in my book, Ex Girlfriend Recovery PRO.)
I don’t think its too shocking that Joe ended up being a little too clingy with his ex by contacting her and she ended up moving on and finding some other guy.
Ok, now lets turn our attention to Max, the man who got his girlfriend back.
Max and Joe have very similar stories.
Both found my website, Ex Girlfriend Recovery, and both thought my advice was brilliant.
(Again, I am brilliant 😉 .)
Both of them wanted to implement my strategies but the one difference between Joe and Max was the fact that Max actually implemented the no contact rule.
As a result, his ex was the one who became infatuated with HIM and not the other way around.
All of a sudden Max was looked at in a new light.
But perhaps most importantly, she began to regret her decision to let him go.
Why The No Contact Rule Makes Your Ex Regret
Lets stereotype a breakup for a second here.
When you think of a breakup what do you typically think of?
I’ll tell you what I think of.
(Just to name a few things.)
Notice how I bolded “begging.”
Well, because after a breakup (especially if your girlfriend broke up with you) then on some level she is probably expecting you for her to beg her back.
Seriously, this is probably what she is imagining that you are going to do in her head after the breakup,
So, subconsciously this is what she is expecting out of you.
In other words, its not very shocking when you do this to an ex.
Take a look at our story of Joe above.
All Joe did was reaffirm his exes belief that he was still into her and as a result he did nothing to make her regret her decision in breaking up with him.
The no contact rule is effective because it goes completely against the grain.
Remember, your ex girlfriend is probably expecting you to beg for her back. So, when you do the exact opposite of what she is expecting it kind of catches her by surprise and she doesn’t know how to handle it.
In other words, where other people zig you are going to have to zag.
“But Chris… you still haven’t told us how the no contact rule works to make your ex girlfriend regret the breakup?”
Ok, lets talk about that now.
Before I get started I am going to make a pretty big assumption about you and your girlfriend.
I am going to assume that your girlfriend relies on you for a lot of things emotionally.
After years of relying on you for emotional support it is quite easy to take things for granted.
Have you ever noticed that women have this constant need to remain friends with their exes after a breakup?
Have you ever asked yourself why?
It’s because it leaves the door open for them to rely on their exes emotionally.
So, what we have here (if you remain friends with your ex after the breakup) is a situation where your ex girlfriend has no way of missing you or regretting the breakup.
The no contact rule breaks that barrier.
It takes the ability for her to rely on you emotionally out of the equation and completely reshapes her thinking.
Instead of thinking,
“Oh, he is someone I can rely on for emotional support.”
She is going to think,
“I kind of miss talking to him… maybe I made a mistake.”
Once she thinks that then you have her!
The Frank Sinatra Effect
I like Frank Sinatra (as you are about to find out.)
Believe it or not but Frank Sinatra is going to help you in your quest to make your girlfriend regret the breakup with you.
That’s an excellent question.
One of Sinatra’s most famous quotes had to do with revenge.
“The Best Revenge Is Massive Success…”
What does this mean?
Well, it means that improving your situation is often the best way to “get back at someone.”
For example, if I had a girlfriend that broke up with me because I didn’t make enough money and the very next day I created a business that earned me millions a year then that girlfriend would be felling pretty bad about her decision.
In fact, some would say that she would REGRET it…
See what I did there?
This is an example of something I like to call “The Frank Sinatra Effect.”
The idea goes like this.
If you can improve yourself enough to be considered a “massive success” then your ex girlfriend won’t just regret the breakup with you, she will want you back.
Lets start with the “when” portion of the FS Effect (Frank Sinatra effect.)
When To Implement The Frank Sinatra Effect
Above I talked about the important of a no contact rule and how it can almost single-handily work to make your ex have feelings of regret.
Well, if you truly want a double whammy of regret (yes, I did just say that) then you should start implementing the FS Effect immediately when you start the no contact rule.
In other words, you are going to working to bring out regret on two fronts.
- Front One- No Contact
- Front Two- The FS Effect
The “when” is really the easy question to answer.
The “how” is the hard one…
How To Implement The Frank Sinatra Effect
Massive success and success are two different things.
Lets use money as an example here.
Someone who earns $100,000 a year is considered successful.
On the other hand, someone who earns $500,000 or half a million a year (for those of you can’t count) is considered MASSIVELY successful.
If you really want to have an impact on your ex girlfriend then you need to raise the bar of what you are trying to accomplish in your life. In other words, it’s not enough to be “successful” you have to be “MASSIVELY successful.”
Ok, lets talk a little bit about how to raise the bar in your life so you are considered massively successful.
Those of you who are avid readers of my site and my book,
will know that there are really three major areas of life that I like to focus on.
These three aspects of life are intimately intertwined and if one aspect of them lags a little bit then the others suffer as well.
For example, when you go through a breakup (the relationships aspect) then the two other legs of the stool start to falter as well as you can’t eat or concentrate at work (health and wealth respectively.)
So, what I am going to do for you here is talk about each one of these aspects of life and what you should be striving for to be “massively successful.”
Lets start with health.
Frank Sinatra Effect Health
The thing I want to focus in on health is your looks.
More specifically the way your body looks.
Here is a fun question.
Now-a-days what is considered a successful physique to have?
Well, America is fat so I would say this would be successful for most people out there,
(It’s sad I have so little faith in America isn’t it?)
While I am sure that most girls would find a guy attractive if he had the body above something tells me they would prefer the body below over the body above…
So, if you are a bit overweight and you know you should be hitting the gym more then don’t just go there with the intent of losing weight. Go there with the intent of looking like a greek god when its all said in done.
That’s how you really make an ex regret leaving you.
Lets turn our attention to wealth.
Frank Sinatra Effect Wealth
Above I gave a pretty interesting example about money and success.
Do you remember the example?
I said that if you earned six figures a year you are considered successful.
If you earned half a million a year you are considered massively successful.
Success isn’t enough.
You need to be massively successful when it comes to wealth.
Heck, be greedy.
Be like Gordon Gekko from Wall Street.
Seriously, I know that may sound a little crazy but here is my mindset.
If the epitome of financial success for you is to make six figures a year then that is all you will ever strive for.
However, if you change your paradigm and shoot for half a million a year then amazing things are going to happen for you.
While you may not reach that half a million mark you are probably going to make more than six figures shooting for half a million…
That’s a win in my book.
Frank Sinatra Effect Relationships
What defines massive success in relationships?
Well, that is completely up to you really.
You want my opinion though?
Getting your ex girlfriend back isn’t enough to be a massive success…
A success, yes.
But a massive success?
Getting her back and ending up together long term (maybe permanently) is what I would call a MASSIVE success.
So, what are you doing to make this a reality?
Well, you are obviously reading this website and you like what I am talking about but do you really buy in to what I am saying?
You need to because I may be your best shot at making this happen for you.
Jealousy Certainly Doesn’t Hurt
Women are interesting creatures.
Sometimes it takes a little push (from you) for them to realize that they made a mistake in letting you go. And that little push can come in the form of jealousy.
Now, when I first created Ex Girlfriend Recovery I wrote a pretty extensive guide on jealousy here.
So, before you read on in this section I recommend that you take a look at that guide and read on how to properly use jealousy for your situation.
Now, I know what you are saying,
“Chris… This is a cop out. You are just pawning us on to some other article and trying to expedite the learning process.”
No, I am not going to leave you empty handed.
Actually what I would like to do is give you an example of one of my favorite jealousy methods that I think would really work well for your situation.
What is this jealousy method?
I like to call it the “movie text jealousy method.”
Movie Text Jealousy Method
Now, before I really get into the meat of this method I feel I need to give you a few disclaimers.
The movie text jealousy method should ONLY be used AFTER the no contact rule is completed. In other words, you are not allowed to use this during your NC period or when you are working on yourself via the Frank Sinatra Effect.
Also, I would like to do something a little unique with this section.
Instead of just teaching you the method (which I plan on doing) I would like to explain the effect it has on a woman and how it can work to make her regret the breakup.
Lets get to it!
Think of a romantic movie…
A chick flick…
A movie that only a woman would go to.
Off the top of my head, a movie that just came out (and this might date the article a bit for future readers but I don’t care I am trying to make a point here) that meets this criteria is Fifty Shades Of Grey.
A guy would definitely NOT take another guy to that movie.
I am sure there are some exceptions to that but for the sake of making a point here I am stereotyping.
Realistically, a guy would take his girlfriend or two friends who are girls would want to go see that movie.
Subconsciously I think everyone knows this.
This is important because you are going to use this stereotype to your advantage when it comes to your ex girlfriend.
What do I mean by that?
Simple, send her a text message like this,
This text is effective for a number of reasons.
First off, no two guys are going to see Fifty Shades of Grey together.
That is just common sense.
Oh, and we can’t forget that we have the double whammy of that particular movie being over a pretty sexual topic…
So, when your ex girlfriend receives this text from you she is going to think a couple of things,
- “Oh my god… He went on a date with a girl.”
- “AND he took her to see THAT movie. I can’t believe him…”
The greatest part of the whole thing is you get to stay in the clear because the text is so general it looks like your not trying to make her jealous.
It’s subtle and that’s why its effective.
It allows your ex to face her own worst enemy, her mind.
Now, you may still be wondering what this has to do with making an ex girlfriend regret letting you go.
Glad you asked!
How Jealousy Makes Your Ex Regret
The whole point of trying to make your ex girlfriend jealous is that you are trying to illicit a reaction from her.
Because if she is having a reaction like jealousy then that means on some level she still cares about you.
Even if she won’t verbalize the words she will know deep down that she still has feelings for you and that is exactly what you want.
Oftentimes a woman who still has feelings for an ex will regret letting him go.
Now, I am not saying that guarantees you a shot of winning her back but it is a step in the right direction because you will hold sway over her.
The Grass Is Greener Syndrome
I would feel bad if I didn’t at least mention the connection between the GIGS (Grass Is Greener Syndrome) and regret because without a doubt their connection is deeply intertwined.
First though, lets talk a little bit about what the GIGS actually is.
GIGS- The Grass Is Greener Syndrome occurs when a girl breaks up with a guy with the thought that she can do better than him. Of course, over time she determines whether or not her decision was correct. Sometimes she will find that the grass is not greener on the other side (meaning it was a mistake to leave you) and other times she will find that the grass is greener on the other side (meaning it was the right decision to leave you.)
So, where does the regret come in?
Simple, if your ex girlfriend leaves you with the thought that she can do better and she determines that she can’t then she is going to regret her decision to leave you.
I actually have had some personal experience with this.
In fact, my very first girlfriend way back in High School (a long time ago but bear with me) had a bit of the grass is greener syndrome.
Our relationship was pretty tainted with fights and arguments so after we went our separate ways I completely ignored her and didn’t talk to her on purpose.
She of course tried to move on but the new guy she started dating couldn’t live up to the standard I had set with her.
I didn’t know any of this until she called my best friend (who I happened to be standing right next to) looking to see if he could convince me to give her a call.
Regret rears it’s head in many forms…
Re-Shaping Your “Text Game”
There is all sorts of interesting things you can do with these little messages that go to your ex partners phone and that is what I am going to talk about right now.
Now, I don’t want to mislead anyone here.
This article is going to talk about the strategies that go behind texting which I imagine is going to prove to be extremely valuable to the readers of this article. What this article will not go over is the actual text messages to send in a situation.
You can pick up my book,
If you want to gain access to those messages.
(Hey, I have to have some type of premium content.)
Alright, so with this section I am going to be talking about two BIG ideas that you need to implement if you want your ex to regret the breakup with you.
- Finding The High Point Of The Conversation
- Ending At The High Point Of The Conversation
Lets start with idea number one.
Finding The High Point Of The Conversation
Forget texting for a moment.
Lets just say that you are talking to one of your good friends about an interesting topic. Well, when you think about this interaction I am betting that you can pinpoint a time in the conversation when you stop and think to yourself,
“Wow, this is actually really interesting. I am so glad I am talking to him/her about this.”
This would be the high point of the conversation.
High Point = The conversation can’t get any better than this.
Believe it or not but it is actually VITALLY important that you learn to pinpoint the high point because it is going to really come in handy when it comes to your ex.
Lets talk a little about that now.
Just like with talking, texting has a high point of a conversation as well.
Let me give you an example.
Lets say that I am texting your ex girlfriend and we are having a really interesting conversation about relationships. Well, this is a topic that both of us find stimulating and we end up talking for two hours. We are both humans and both of us have short attention spans. So, around the one and a half hour mark the conversation quality begins to drop off slowly.
Use the graph below as a reference point,
Notice how after this point the quality of the conversation begins to dip pretty drastically.
What constitutes a conversation quality dip?
- Long periods of time for her to respond.
- Short responses from her.
- No substance to her responses.
Most men end up wearing out there welcome when it comes to texting.
What do I mean by that?
It’s simple really, they wait until the conversation quality dips before the end the conversation and this leads me to my next point.
Ending At The High Point Of The Conversation
There is nothing memorable about ending a texting conversation after the quality of the conversation drops.
There is nothing for her to regret…
You don’t make an impression on her…
Oh, AND you are going to be just like every other guy out there talking to her.
Don’t live your life as an uninteresting sheep. When the world zigs I want you to zag.
When you are texting your ex girlfriend MAKE SURE you end the conversation right at the high point. Right at the point where things can’t get any better for her (or you for that matter.)
If you are a visual learner then here is a graph illustrating what I am talking about,
What this will do to your ex is really mess with her mind.
You see, to her, if you are having a good conversation then the conversation will most likely continue. However, if you end the conversation right at the high point it is going to mess with her mind because not only will you leave her wanting more she is going to constantly ask herself,
“Wait, why would he end the conversation there?”
There is a psychological principle that I like to cite a lot called the Ziegnerik Effect.
The ZE (Ziegnerik Effect) basically states that human beings remember uncompleted tasks better than completed ones. Well, a conversation that is cut off right at the high point isn’t technically a “closed” conversation. Thus, your ex girlfriend is going to remember that conversation above anything else.
This works wonders for getting her to respond to your future text messages and it will also raise your value in her eyes.
Oh, and in case you didn’t know, raised value in an ex correlates directly to regret.
Your Mindset When You See Her In Person
Seeing your ex girlfriend in person is always a tricky subject because often times it goes so fast.
What do I mean by that?
Lets say that you are with your ex girlfriend at a Starbucks and she asks you a question.
Well, you are expected to respond to her question in a timely manner and some guys get so caught up with extracurricular things that they really struggle to focus and they stumble with their answers. After all, it is hard to answer in a good manner when you have this staring back at you,
Ok, I highly doubt you will be faced with that situation but what I am trying to get at here is that you are highly attracted to this woman, you clearly want her back and if she is FINALLY sitting across from you it can be easy to be caught up in the moment and lose track of why you are seeing her in the first place, to make her regret letting you go.
(Your still looking at the picture aren’t you?)
“SNAP OUT OF IT AND CONCENTRATE”
So, what I would like to do now is give you my best tip for seeing your ex girlfriend in person.
Now, I don’t want to overload you with too much so I am just going to give you this one tip.
If you want more then you need to check out my book, Ex Girlfriend Recovery PRO.
My Best Tip For An In Person Encounter
It’s probably the easiest tip you have ever heard.
Seriously, smile a lot when you see your ex in person.
- Smiling can do a lot for you.
- It can make you less stressed.
- It’s a universal sign of happiness (which you really want your ex to think even if your not.)
- It’s contagious (which can make your ex smile and then your both in good moods.)
- Women find smiling men more attractive than non-smiling men.
Maybe not like that though…