What Are Your Chances of Getting Your ExGirlfriend Back?

How To Reconnect With Your Ex Girlfriend

You’re probably asking yourself how in the world am I supposed to do this? You don’t want to come off as desperate, needy, or…..eek!


Well, guys…I’m here to help you!

Now, I cannot guarantee that the advice I’m about to share with you will 100% get your ex girlfriend back, but what I can tell you is that your chances of reconnecting with her after reading this article and applying the advice I’m about to give you will increase your chances significantly!

In this article I’m going to cover some key points to help you figure out the best way to reconnect with your ex girlfriend.

I surveyed 15 of my closest girl friends and some are the most stubborn women I’ve ever met (myself included). And the information I’m about to share with you would even make the coldest ice queen want to reconnect with you.

Are you ready to listen?


You’re already on the right track!

First Things First: The No Contact Rule Is ESSENTIAL

Yes, that’s right.

You are going to go complete radio silence on your ex.

It doesn’t matter if her birthday is coming up, if it’s a holiday, if she is reaching out to you or if the world is ending. Your world may be ending without her, but I repeat: You will not contact her!

If you need a quick refresher on what “no contact” is then I highly recommend reading this article.

This step is absolutely crucial to your success of reconnecting with her.

You’re probably thinking this girl doesn’t know what she’s talking about…well, I do!

I’ve experienced the No Contact Rule firsthand and have even had it used on me several times.

It works!

Let me explain to you what the NO CONTACT rule is and what it essentially is meant to accomplish.

Many people struggle with this.

A natural instinct is that you will want to reach out to your ex.

Humans crave contact.

Especially if you’re lonely and missing your ex. However…implementing the NO CONTACT rule will help in the grand scheme of RECONNECTING with your ex girlfriend. This period of radio silence will allow you and your ex to cool off after the break up.

The No Contact period can last anywhere from 21-45 days.

You can decide how much time you think you need and also consider how much time your ex will also need.

You DO NOT want to reach out to her when both of your emotions are running high. That’s only going to do more harm than good and set you back even further from your goal. Side note: She’s probably driving herself crazy and thinking to herself: “Why isn’t he reaching out to me?”

You’re already regaining control of the situation by doing absolutely nothing.

Take this time and focus on yourself. Ask yourself the important questions. What caused this break up? What do I need to work on within myself? How can I SHOW her I’ve changed? Becoming the best version of yourself is key to getting your ex back. You need to feel secure with yourself first.

After you’ve improved yourself and took back control of your emotions…which should take at LEAST 21 days. Don’t rush this process. You can finally reach out! How are you supposed to do that after all that time? Good question. You’ll need to be clever. A simple “Hey” isn’t going to cut it. “Hay” is for horses. You’re trying to reconnect with a unicorn here. You need to step up your game. And this is where the fun begins! I’m about to share with you the CORE ingredients to reconnect with your ex.

Are you ready?

Let’s do this!

The Five “C”’s to reconnect with your ex girlfriend:

  1. Communication
  2. Consistency
  3. Charm/Chivalry
  4. Confidence
  5. Control

Now, I enlisted the help of 15 of my girlfriends and asked each one of them what their ex would NEED to do in order to get them just on speaking terms again.

These ladies are tough.

I found that these 5 things listed above were the most common among all the women and what they NEEDED from their ex in the first place!

So pay attention!

I’m going to break down each one of these things and tell you how to strategically use them to reconnect with your ex.


Communication is a major game changer here.

You’re fresh out of No Contact so you will want to be clever when you decide to initiate first contact.

Think of the things, activities, or hobbies that your ex enjoys and try to incorporate that when reaching out the first time. Your chances of getting a response will be higher if your ex can relate to what you are saying. She may also be flattered that you thought of her and what she likes.

If she responds, keep the conversation lite and positive and make sure you end the conversation on a high note!

Another useful first contact text is using the “You will never guess what happened to me…” text.

This will have your ex wondering what happened and peak her curiosity!

But make sure you have an interesting story to follow up that statement.

“I saw a dog today.” Won’t work!

(Even if she is a must love dogs) kind of girl.

The communication doesn’t end there. This is something you will always have to work on. If how you communicated in the past with your ex wasn’t healthy then you need to work on how you communicate once you try to reconnect with her. SHOW her that you’re not the same hot tempered guy or the guy that completely shuts down when you disagree on something.

Keeping an open line with your communication and being honest with your ex (even when feelings get hurt) is the best thing. A majority of relationships end because of lack of communication or miscommunication.

Always be clear, open, and honest! Most of my friends stated that had their ex listened to how they were felling and why they were feeling how they were that a majority of their relationships would have worked out. During No Contact look inward and figure out how you communicate with others and how your ex communicates and try to work on what you can change…which is yourself!

Being able to empathize, listen, and communicate your feelings effectively will help you in this process tremendously!


Next on the list is consistency.

If you’re a Parks and Rec fan you will be familiar with this quote by my favorite fictional character, Ron Swanson.

(If only there were more guys out there like him!).

Ron says, “Never half ass two things; Whole ass one thing.”

Smart guy.

You need to stay focused on your goal aka reconnecting with your ex.

Be consistent with your communication and SHOW consistency through your actions! If I’ve learned anything and I think I speak for 99.9% of women that we HATE wish washy.

Keeping a girl on her toes doesn’t mean being inconsistent.

You need to prove through your actions that you want her back in your life.

I’m going to share a quick story with you about my friends Kate and Pete.

Kate and Pete dated for about a year and a half. Pete will admit he did some pretty messed up stuff while dating Kate.

An example: He cheated on her and lied A LOT to cover up that major mistake. Kate ultimately forgave Pete and she tried really hard to keep the relationship going.

March rolls around and they break up.

Kate is devastated.

Pete is on the fence about the whole situation. (Typical).

So, I gave Kate a pep talk! I told her she needed to go out and have fun with her friends and to shift her focus on being the best version of herself.

No more sulking!

If we ended up seeing Pete, she would ignore him.

She did just that…..can you guess what happened?! As soon as Kate started ignoring Pete.. he crawled back to her. He even went as far as writing her a love letter!

Kate was so excited and thought that they could work on things and get back together. She felt better about herself and thought she could start new with Pete. Unfortunately, Pete had other plans.

As soon as she started reaching out to him. Pete would ignore her or make up some lame excuses as to why he couldn’t get together.

SO I told her again to ignore him.

A few days would go by of Kate giving him the silent treatment and BOOM.

Guess whose back?

I told her that he clearly is pulling her in just to push her away. He also has no clue when it comes to dating and really just wants to be in control of the situation. Inconsistency isn’t attractive and as for Kate and Pete, the saga continues.

So please, guys, for everyone’s sanity….including your own…Don’t be a PETE!

Moving right along….

Chivalry and Charm

Is chivalry really dead?

I, as an optimist, would like to think it isn’t.

I’ve had some really great guys prove to me even that it’s still alive! My most recent ex would always open the car door for me and hold my hand and while I would always say, “ I can open my own car door!” Secretly, I loved when he did that.

I think this is where relationships can take a turn for the worst.

When a guy or even a girl stops putting forth the effort to show the other person in the relationship that they are a priority or just even putting in that little extra effort to show that you value the person you’re dating….that’s when the “C” that you never want to be comes into play.

And that is complacent. Complacency is a relationship killer.

I can think off the top of my head at least 3 of my girlfriends who are in complacent relationships. They complain yet they don’t leave or they are constantly fighting with their boyfriend.

In my last relationship I grew complacent and I was the most unhappy person. My ex stopped making me a priority.

His friends, his band, and drinking all came before spending time with me.

He would show up late, blame me for nit picking, and I’ll admit when I wasn’t happy I would bring up what wasn’t making me happy and try to fix the problem. He would completely shut down. So, I decided to stop bringing things up that bothered me and ultimately stopped going to his shows and let him do his own thing.

And he’s still out there doing it. I knew that I deserved to be a priority. And that I was trying harder for our relationship than he was. If you’re in a similar situation think long and hard before jumping back into something where you can become bored or complacent.

You need to make your ex a priority put her and your “new” potential relationship with her first.

You don’t need to be extravagant with this either. Doing the little things are what matter most. Open the car door for her, take her to her favorite place, do something that she enjoys doing, but her flowers (most girls love flowers). It’s that simple. And keep doing those things!

Remember, be consistent!

Don’t be that jerk in aluminum foil. Be her knight in shining armor that she needs you to be!


Another thing you’re going to need to have for your chances to greatly increase in regard to reconnecting with your ex is Confidence.

You don’t want to be over confident where you come off as pushy or a jerk, but you’ll want to have a positive mind frame going into this.

Since my last break up I’ve really worked on myself and I exude this new found confidence.

My family, friends, random people on social media, and YES even some of my exes who I haven’t spoke to in YEARS have noticed and have started reaching out.

I just hung out with one of them a few weeks ago.

Don’t second guess yourself. Be confident in what you say to her, how you portray yourself, and keep your goal always in the back of your mind. Your ex will pick up on this new found confidence and you know what?

It will make her feel more secure!

It’s a win-win!


From the point where no contact begins you will want to have a sense of control.

You’ll need to control yourself, your emotions, your actions and ultimately that will help you control the situation when you reconnect with your ex.

After the no contact period is over you should feel as though you have a better understanding of what went wrong in the relationship, what you NEED in a future relationship, and also what you can bring to a future relationship that being with your ex or with someone new.

Next, you will want to control how you act and react to your ex. If she doesn’t respond to your initial contact attempt.


She just needs more time to figure out what you’ve already figured out for yourself. I will be the first to admit I used to over think and drive myself crazy. I always let my emotions get the best of me. Not anymore! If I reach out to someone whether it be an ex, a friend, a potential date and they don’t respond.

I don’t let it bother me.

I usually hear from them within a few hours and if I don’t, I usually wait a few days and reach out again. I know I keep saying be consistent, but this is where everything ties together. Even if you get ignored… be consistent and confident!

Don’t give up! I also know when to end a conversation.

This will also help you when you reconnect with your ex.

Always end the conversation first and make sure you end it on a high or positive note. Keep her wanting more. Keep her intrigued. This is how you control a conversation and in turn this will have her responding to you.

Now, I don’t want you guys to be a PETE.


Pete wanted control for all the wrong reasons and as it looks right now Pete is going to be alone for a very long time if he doesn’t get his act together.

From an outsider looking at Pete and how he treats Kate he screams INSECURE to me and probably every other one of Kate’s girlfriends.

Don’t be that guy.

Be confident and secure with yourself.

You have a lot to offer and you should be ready to prove that to your ex!

It’s The Final Countdown…

I hope that the five “C’s” that I listed for you will help you figure out yourself, what you need in a relationship, and of course get you back in good graces with your ex girlfriend. Other important things to remember during this process is be patient. It’s not called a process for nothing.

Good things take time.

My friend Mark always tells me, “Lyndsey, if it’s meant to be it will happen. Nothing good gets away.”

And he’s right. The more you let things organically happen the better the outcome.

You’ll also need to build rapport and trust again. Remind her why you can be trusted. Make her feel secure. And most importantly remind her of the reasons she fell for you in the first place.
Being friends with an ex after some time isn’t a bad thing either.

I don’t want you to become “friend zoned” but again…it takes time to rebuild things.

Forming a solid foundation of friendship will help you immensely.

So guys, practice the “Five C’s” and although I can’t guarantee you will get your ex back. I know, from an ex girlfriend stand point that if one of my exes used these tools that I would be open to communicating with them and building from there.

Good luck guys!

You got this!

Need a little more reassurance…?

As much as I don’t like bringing up my past and of course failed relationships…every time I write for Chris and his team I find myself doing a lot of self reflecting and I end up incorporating a story for the readers.

It just so happens when Chris asked me to write this article my ex from five years ago was asking me how to reconnect with a girl that had broke up with him a few months prior.

Totally weird right?

I swear, Chris and “N” must have telepathy or something.

“N” and I had a very rocky relationship.

We dated for 3 years and he cheated on me.

It gets worse.

He married the girl he was cheating on me with.

We didn’t speak for 5 years.

Then one day out of the blue….I get a phone call.

I knew who it was the moment I picked up the phone. I won’t bore you with the details, but me and “N” formed a friendship.

He was divorced and I wasn’t angry anymore.

Looking back me and “N” both agreed that we always had a solid friendship and that is what made him reach out to me. He trusted me and we both value each other as people. It’s funny, I ask him for dating advice and vice versa. Sorry for getting side tracked. Now, “N” wants his most recent ex back.

And he asked me for advice.

So, I told him exactly what I told you guys above.

He has a dinner date set up with her for next week…!

Nothing is impossible!

(This article was written by Lyndsey Houser)


Written by EGR team mate

Chris Seiter

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30 thoughts on “How To Reconnect With Your Ex Girlfriend”

  1. Vinny Lee

    November 18, 2017 at 12:47 am

    I have been in a 3 year relationship with my girlfriend. Both of us are 19 years old, we live in the same city, we go to the same school, we were not in a long distant relationship. School was starting to get stressful with exams and such and my girlfriend asked if we could take a break to just focus and figure out our lives. I didn’t want to but I understood why she needed a break.

    But after a week, she told me that she wanted to break up with me. Her reasoning was because she told me that I wasn’t paying enough attention to her and that she didn’t feel happy in the relationship. Bottom line, she told me that she didn’t want to be with me anymore. This caught me off guard and it has only been more than a week since it happened, but it is tearing me apart in the inside. She texted me a couple days ago, saying that she has firmly made her decision and that we can never be together again. She seemed very upset, almost angry even.

    I have not made contact with her since the breakup, and I plan to continue this no contact period for a month or so before I re-contact her. I figure that this period of time will give her time that she needs to sort out her emotions. Everything has just caught me off guard, I miss my girlfriend alot and I love her still. I am not sure if I can ever get her back.

    Is there a chance that I can get her back, was her decision to break up with me based on her spiraling emotions, or is what she said true, and that we will never get back together again?

    I appreciate any advice, Vinny

    1. EGR Team Member: Amor

      November 25, 2017 at 1:06 am

      Hi Vinny,

      There’s still a chance.. How much are you improving yourself and how actuve are you in posting?

  2. Corey

    October 15, 2017 at 12:23 pm

    Hey there internet people of the world!

    So my ex girlfriend and I were together for approximately a year and a half. I felt more than I’ve ever felt with her, I truly felt loved and I loved her with all my heart. I suffer from occasional periods anxiety and depression and she always tried to be understanding of how I felt even when it made no sense. My previous girlfriend was with me for 3 years before cheating on me without any signs that I could see, so I’ve had a bit of a trust issue. In the last month I began a large period of anxiety and depression and I began pushing her away and hurting her unintentionally through how I acted. She broke up with me after I got worried she would get badly sick and I began to become frustrated because she didn’t understand why I was so upset, just before this I also accused her of cheating on me. Later that night she broke up with me.

    -I always accused her of something from my past that I couldn’t let go of.
    -I need help with my anxiety and depression.
    -I need to trust her because there was no reason not to.
    -I began getting jealous of her friends and family and I’m not really sure why.

    Over the past month (no contact) I’ve decided to really work on all of the things I do. I decided not to let these worries rule my life, talking to more people about my problems, taken up meditation when I’m feeling jealous or anxious, I’m even looking into medication for my depression and anxiety. I began a strict diet and already feel better about my weight, I’ve just completely tried to overhaul myself.

    I do want to try to get this girl back because I love her, we’ve been through a lot together, and we had some of the greatest times of my life together. I’ve given her about three weeks while I worked on myself. I messaged her after 21 days of NC to kind of begin trying to show my changes and rebuild some attraction, but she never responded to me. A week later I sent a long message apologizing and explained what I was doing differently. Now I’ve got her answering my messages relatively quickly but she has short messages. And that is where I am today.

    If there are any questions I’d be happy to answer and accept any advice I can get.
    Thanks for reading, it means a lot to me!

    1. EGR Team Member: Amor

      October 15, 2017 at 8:05 pm

      Hi Corey,

      Explaining change, means you didn’t really change…what new routine did you start and how active are you in posting?

  3. Shelby

    October 9, 2017 at 3:34 pm

    My ex texted me after I did about 2 weeks of NC about a money issue between us. I broke NC in order to get it straightened out and we ended up talking a bit about us. Didn’t go horribly, didn’t go extremely well. We’ve planned to meet back up in late November, but she seemed skeptical about it when she brought it up this time. Currently doing NC again and am planning on doing it for about 30 days and then asking about our planned meet. Question is, did I totally screw everything up by breaking NC and talking about the relationship? I really would like our meet up to actually happen as we’re long distance so any chance to talk in person is limited. Thank you!

    1. EGR Team Member: Amor

      October 10, 2017 at 7:20 am

      Hi Shelby,

      It would have been alright if you only talked about the money..right now, cancel the meet up and restart nc..

  4. Vin

    September 8, 2017 at 11:29 am

    Hey! So my now ex-girlfriend (Kay) and I had been dating for just about 2 years when we broke up last Sunday. To give you a bit of a background, our relationship started off on very unstable ground – I was married and very unhappy in that relationship. Toward the end of my marriage, Kay and I started to get really close and eventually one thing led to another. We started carrying on a relationship and I eventually left my wife for Kay. We enjoyed our newfound freedom and started to date like a normal couple. After 6 months of dating, we moved in together. We would fight occasionally and a lot of times it was due to her past. She has a past she isn’t proud of and unfortunately I said some really nasty things that have really stuck with her. I would tend to have a pretty hot temper and she often lied to me about a lot of things in her past, which would lead to some really big blowups. On multiple occasions, we would get into fights and she would pack up the house of her things and leave while I was at work. We’d make up, she’d come back home, and all would be right in the world….until our next fight. Fortunately with time, I was able to accept the past and move on from it. I have my own insecurities, I was always terrified of losing her, and I let that fear control me.
    We had another fight about something related to work and I gave her the silent treatment for a day. She said it made her feel abandoned and it really hurt her – so she packed up the house and left again, only with the true intention of breaking up. For a month and half, she lived about 2 hours away with her mom and Kay and I would see each other about once a week. We both wanted to work on ourselves and our relationship, so we tried to keep things alive the best we could. When we would see each other it was incredible. We would then part ways heading back to our respective homes and we would absolutely crash. We were constantly worried about what the other person was doing, trying to make each other jealous, it was just bad. We would fight, break up, get back together a day later – this would happen about 3 times over the month and a half after she had moved out.
    During the last week of our relationship, my insecurities really started to show. She would go out, I would question where she was going, who she was with. I would call and/or text incessantly. I’d be that annoying gnat. I was no longer the confident guy she fell for. She started to slowly withdraw and I could tell her feelings were changing. We met last Sunday night and spoke for about an hour. She said she just couldn’t ride the rollercoaster anymore and she felt that every time she looked at me, she was worried that the angry guy who said some really nasty things would come out and that she was always walking on eggshells. She said she will always love me but she just can’t get over the hurt I’ve caused her. Now, over the last month and a half when she moved out, I had gotten a lot better. I’ve been way more patient during arguments, I haven’t yelled, I’ve tried to work everything out calmly. I think the breakup was a bit about the hurt from the past, but more about me not being that confident secure guy anymore.
    So since we have broken up last Sunday, she sent me an email about 2 hours after we split, explaining that she was sorry for all her lying, she just can’t do the rollercoaster of a relationship anymore, this isn’t about seeing other people, she can’t imagine moving on, she’ll always have love in her heart for the good guy I was. I waited a day and wrote back simply, “Thank you for taking the time to write that out for me. I have to tell you I need some space and time to heal. Please respect my privacy during this time. Thank you for your support”.
    I have not contacted her since and am now on day 5 of NC. We are not friends on Facebook or Instagram anymore. I have made my Instagram public so she can see pics I post. She keeps deactivating and reactivating her Facebook page, so I’ve made my posts public there too so when she reactivates it, and invariably checks up on me, she’ll see some posts.
    Sorry for the length of this post, but my question is, how can I show her that I am not that angry guy anymore? How can I show her that I’m the confident guy she fell for 2 years ago? I want to put my best self out there so that when I do contact her after 30 days, I’ll get a response. Any help and advice would be much appreciated. Thanks!

    1. EGR Team Member: Amor

      September 11, 2017 at 10:41 pm

      Hi Vin,

      That’s why you need to be active in posting..that’s good that you made them public.. Your posts are your indirect way of showing your improvements

  5. Stuck

    August 29, 2017 at 12:48 am

    Hi, I’ll keep this short. 3yr relationship, I find out one night she’s out at a bar, after questioning who, where, etc she tells me she’s with a friend. Later I drive by her place and see her ex’s car there. I sent her a nasty text and went NC for 3 weeks when she texted me back also a nasty text- telling me she wanted to thank me for making her do things for herself to make sure she doesn’t end up with a jerk like me who accuses her of doing things she’s not done. I waited 2 days then sent a simple apology saying ‘I’m sorry for my choice of words. I was emotional at the time. Best of luck’ – the next day she sends me back another text saying ‘thank you, I really appreciate that! I’m sorry too and best of luck to you as well’. As I said this is already after about a 3 week NC. Should I respond to her? I’d like to really know the truth and how she’d explain her meeting and his car at her place. Thanks

    1. EGR Team Member: Amor

      August 31, 2017 at 8:38 pm

      Ask her for clarity..only after that will you know if you can get back or if you need to restart nc

  6. KB

    August 10, 2017 at 4:30 pm

    Hopefully this doenst get posted twice. I saw it show up but when I refreshed page after 15min it was gone.
    Howdy! Had a quick question about the no-contact rule from the book. Before I got the book I had asked if she wanted to meet for a drink. She said she was booked up for the week but might be able to meet on a Thursday. Thursday came and went and I got the book. On that following Sunday she sent me a text saying she was sorry for forgetting about the date. Didn’t suggest a new one or ask a question…just stated that. I followed the no contact rule and did not respond. This weekend is her birthday. Should I follow the rule and not say anything? I honestly feel bad about not saying anything to her on her birthday. But then again…she really hasn’t been trying to contact me either. Oh.. she is the one that technically broke up with me. My birthday is the following weekend and my 21 day no contact expires the Tuesday after that weekend.
    Thanks for any guidance!!


    1. EGR Team Member: Amor

      August 10, 2017 at 6:15 pm

      Hi Kb,

      yep, yoou shouldn’t greet her.

  7. KB

    August 10, 2017 at 3:58 pm

    Howdy! Had a quick question about the no-contact rule from the book. Before I got the book I had asked if she wanted to meet for a drink. She said she was booked up for the week but might be able to meet on a Thursday. Thursday came and went and I got the book. On that following Sunday she sent me a text saying she was sorry for forgetting about the date. Didn’t suggest a new one or ask a question…just stated that. I followed the no contact rule and did not respond. This weekend is her birthday. Should I follow the rule and not say anything? I honestly feel bad about not saying anything to her on her birthday. But then again…she really hasn’t been trying to contact me either. Oh.. she is the one that technically broke up with me. My birthday is the following weekend and my 21 day no contact expires the Tuesday after that weekend.
    Thanks for any guidance!!


    1. EGR Team Member: Amor

      August 10, 2017 at 6:15 pm

      Hi Kb,

      yep, yoou shouldn’t greet her.

  8. Jason

    August 1, 2017 at 5:13 pm

    I’ve been dating a girl for 4 months when she suddenly broke up with me. Everything had been going seemingly perfectly, no arguments, lots of laughs, attraction, etc. until suddenly she told me didn’t see a future for us and just saw me as a best friend. I’m just confused as to how she could have been so into me and mentioned things about our future together and then within the space of a couple weeks apparently those feelings became doubtful until she told me it was over even though I was the best person she’d ever met. To me we were perfect together so I don’t know what to do, we haven’t spoken since we parted ways, any advice?

    1. EGR Team Member: Amor

      August 1, 2017 at 6:08 pm

      Hi jason,

      Try the no contact rule for at least 21 days..be active in improving yourself and in postinf

  9. Hossein Rajabi

    August 1, 2017 at 12:02 pm


    I’m a 21 old boy, my ex is 21 too.
    We two started to texting each other about 1 year and 3 months ago. It was not a serious relationship (just simple dating) till the past 5-6 months. Then our relationship started to getting serious.
    We are both medical students and we started to flirting and communicating at first semesters of school, and then we found that we love each other. The relationship got very serious and lovely. Going out, buying gift, giving each other unlimited love, time and importance.
    Every thing was good, except one thing. It was hard for me to forget her past relationship with another guy. I condemned her about what happened in the past and maked her feal guilty sometimes. Except this, every thing was good between us.

    2 days ago, after that I told her that i don’t like her profile pictures on social medias and I want you to change them. It was a simple thing. But she didn’t do that and ignored what I said. Then I told her that “a profile picture is not something important and I liked you to change it. But if you don’t like to do that, I don’t care about them to much.” And 1 hour after this, I saw that she blocked me from every social media without saying me a word about it. I send a SMS to her and I asked about the reason, she told me “I’m not good and I want to be alone for a while”. I sent another message and said that I want to talk to you in person but she didn’t accepted, I send another messages and I beg her to stop this and let me talk to her about her feelings and reasons, she simply said no, and then she blocked my phone number too. So I couldn’t even call her or send SMS to her. And in this 2 days she didn’t make any contract with me or unblocking my phone number. Yesterday I found that she deleted her social media accounts.

    We were in a great relationship. A day before break up we went for the dinner and we enjoyed a lot. We loved each other, we were talking about our future always, we set targets together, we talked about marriage in future, we promised each other not to leave easily and stay forever as we can.

    Now, I don’t know what to do. I don’t know why she left me this way. Is she moved on for another guy? Did she tired of me? Is it my fault or her? Etc…

    I don’t say that I am perfect. I have lots of imperfections. I was a bit clingy and desperate recently But overaly, I was great for her. I respected her, I cost her all m time and attention, all my love. Any other girls were not matter for me, only her. I think her move was not fair, after all of promises we made.

    I love her too much and don’t want to lose her easily. She really means to me. Something in my gut telling me that I can get her back and she still loves me, but I don’t know exactly what to do…

    1. EGR Team Member: Amor

      August 1, 2017 at 5:48 pm

      Do you want to try the no contact rule?

  10. Will

    July 30, 2017 at 3:58 pm

    Hey, Chris. My name is Will. I was with my girlfriend, Ebone, for almost a year. She went into the army a few months ago, and I promised to wait for her. We had issues in the past with her trusting me. I’ve never cheated, but she’s caught me talking to my exes. I have no intentions with anyone else, and they were just my friends, and I needed advice in one instance, but I see how she feels this is sneaky. Especially when I’ve lied to her before. She comes home in a week, and our anniversary is the week after that. She says she can’t trust me and she doesn’t want to be with me anymore. She’s so great for me and I know I have to change and make her more comfortable around me, but I’m absolutely terrified that she won’t get back with me. She’s so smart and proud, she knows how to carry herself, she’s strong willed. This might mean she can get over me very easy, or at least make it seem that way. I know she still loves me very much. I haven’t spoken to her in a few days, but I don’t know if I should say something to her for our anniversary or if a month is too long. I feel so out of place without her constant level of support. I haven’t seen her in months, and it makes this break up that much harder. She left with her heart in her hand and we worked for months on different parts of the country for each other. I wrote her letters of support and sent packages when I could. I was living very tight, broke, and lonely. She got her phone back and began to question if we should be together, and after my ex texted me, we had a chat. Ebone and I were on a break, and I truely believed my ex would give me good advice and she did. But I feel some things I said got misunderstood and when my girlfriend messaged me ex, everything came out. It looks bad, and she seems disappointed in me. I don’t know what to do. Please help.

    1. EGR Team Member: Amor

      July 31, 2017 at 7:00 pm

      Hi Will,

      Have you explained to her before why you still talk to your ex?

  11. Brian Sanchez

    July 22, 2017 at 9:33 am

    Hello Chris,
    My ex broke up with me about 2 weeks ago. The night before, we had been arguing over the phone about owing each other money. She claimed I owed her $70 and I claimed she never tried paying me for the money she owed me. It got ugly. We agreed to drop it and try to resolve the issue later that week when we could meet face-to face. Well, we never got to meet up because the next day she called me and very directly stated she was breaking up with me. She said she thought about it all night and wasn’t budging. I asked if she still loved me and she said she wasn’t sure. She followed by telling me that she was going to block me on everything. Phone, email, snap, insta. All of it. The first two days were rough. I tried calling her from an unknown number to no avail. I could even tell she was screening the calls sometimes. I gave it a rest and began no contact. However, that same week, she mailed back to me a disney pass I had bought her. Just the pass, nothing else. I wasn’t sure if I should mail it back with a letter, and maybe the $70 I owe her or just wait. I decided to wait and continue no contact. I’m currently about a week and a half in, but I’m still uncertain of what to do when it’s time to reach out. I’ve been working really well on improving a lot of my own faults. I’m seeing a therapist next week, I’m getting a new car at the end of the month, and I’ve even lost 15 pounds already. I’m working hard to prove that I want to improve myself both for her and myself. Unfortunately, I’m still walled by being blocked. Unless I get lucky and she reaches out to me first, I can’t text her from my number to initiate the recovery process. I could text her from an app that allows me to use a different number, but I don’t want to violate her. What should I do?

    I should add, neither of us were very active on social media to begin with, but I have started posting more on instagram in the off chance she tries viewing me, but I hadn’t added a picture out entire 8 months of dating. I doubt she would try to see If I suddenly started.

    1. EGR Team Member: Amor

      July 27, 2017 at 4:38 pm

      That’s good that you have a lot good things going on in your life and improvements..If there are mutual friends, it’ll probably reach her because they’ll either notice your posts or it’ll show up in her timeline.. Set a limit until when you would wait for her to unblock her

  12. Erick

    July 21, 2017 at 2:30 am

    I wanted to ask an advice and I hope you could help me..my ex fiancee and I broke up 7mos ago.The reasons of the break up are both of our faults..My faults were I was not a leader in the house when Im there especially doing house hold stuff and about her fault, she entertained a former rival which was her best friend so her heart got confused.During this time, especially the first 4mos was very rocky, it was up and down suddenly she doesn’t wan t to see me anymore and while on the other side, after quite some time, the other guy doesnt want to commit to her and she ends up trying to catch him. I did No contact for 45 days because it got really worse for me.I was blocked in facebook, email and she changed her number but the landline, twitter and instagram are still open for both of us.. I began to contact her 2 weeks ago by commenting on her pics, it was light and friendly in that period.Yesterday, I reacted to her latest post in instagram because she said “Go home, im not mad anymore” and she posted a sexy pose so I reacted saying that she looks like model and she said thanks and I asked her if I could have coffee with her so that we could catch up..She told me that she couldnt do it because her “bf” will get mad and she placed it with a smiley so I told her im cool with it and smileys too.Also, I told her that im glad we are ok now and I told her im just here for you..I felt she was testing me because first of all, whenever I peek her fb through my friend or my brother’s fb she was so sad that the guy just stringing her and by the way, the guy is working abroad but he might be back this year..so is she testing me? What should I do? I still love her..and I think she still have something for me…please advice

    1. EGR Team Member: Amor

      July 26, 2017 at 7:23 pm

      Hi Erick,

      Too soon to ask for coffee.. Are you still blocked? How much did you improve and how active were you in posting during nc?

    2. Erick

      July 27, 2017 at 12:03 am

      The improvements are still on going and I felt that I know what to do.I believe that I have improved a lot since then. Yes I am still blocked and actually, I was trying to feel things out that’s why I ask her for a coffee. Anyway, we texted well but when I messaged her to say good night to her. She suddenly got irritated and said that message her only if its important and her “bf” might get mad. I told her, “Ok, it’s just a friendly message” and she said, ” really? is that friendly? you”re a guy you know what’s friendly or not?” and she ranted about not changing at all but how can she say it, I was not needy and I was pestering her. I was patient and my messages were not sweet. I felt that she has not moved on based on her reactions and she has feelings for me still and maybe she is still confused about the situation because the other guy didn’t commit to her based on what I observe on her FB post ( I look at her posts from time to time by using my friends’ account) so at least I know where I am.. I didn’t felt sad or panicked. It made me emboldened to fight more for my feelings for her. I do respect her and I don’t want to look like a psycho so I will play her game.. I’m planning to go NC again for 2 weeks because she “brought” drama and of course, to let her cool down. I am pretty sure i’ve changed but not yet complete. However, I know my faults and I am patient that she will see the changes when given a chance. So, am I correct with my analysis, Should I keep quiet for 2 weeks or go Full blown NC? and why is she acting that way if she said it’s over and she “has” a BF? I hope to hear from you soon. Thanks!

    3. EGR Team Member: Amor

      July 31, 2017 at 6:13 pm

      That’s good that you’re continuing improving yourself. She’s being protective of her relationship because she thinks you’re trying to get her back..if I’m going to base it on just one action like your comment to her pic, it looks like you found her attractive and so now you want to catch up..which probably caused an argument with her and her bf..

      Yeah, I think you should go for two weeks nc..

  13. Samon

    July 20, 2017 at 2:09 am

    I want to initiate contact but last week after seeing that passive aggressive message about not talking to her best friend, I am a bit scared of it. It’s been about 10 days since she last texted me. Would initiating contact right now ruin my chances? She did tell me to never contact her again before I started no contact. So should i contact?

    1. EGR Team Member: Amor

      July 26, 2017 at 5:32 pm

      Yup you should before it’s too late..

  14. Samon

    July 19, 2017 at 1:05 am

    My 1.5 years relationship ended due to me being emotionally abusive to her. I havent realized what I was doing until the breakup happened. For the last 2 months i just lost control and just started huring her emotionally..Although during the breakup she didn’t give me that reason but later I have realized it was because of that. I begged pleaded cried and sent her long messages apologizing for it and to come back.
    That just made things worse and her trying to being friends with me and actually replying just ended. And She started hating me as well. So i did that for 2 weeks then came across the no contact rule and i applied that.
    During my no contact period she sent me a message wishing me for a holiday I ignored and havent heard from her about any more holidays. Then after about a month she found out I talk to her best friend, she texted me to get out of her life. I ignored that as well.
    Today marks 2 months of my no contact.. I just want to know, should I even text her anymore? Or how long should I wait? I’ve been appearing very happy actually and actually accepting that the breakup was a good thing and even told her best friend that as well. I started working out, posting pictures on social media which I havent done in years. I also rekindled friendship with almost all the people that I used to hate which my ex knew. What should i Do? Should I wait for her to text back?

    1. EGR Team Member: Amor

      July 19, 2017 at 2:14 pm

      you should initiate contact and slowly rebuild rapport.